Ed Gavagan: A story about knots and surgeons

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Prevodilac: Srdjana Sredojevic Lektor: Ivana Korom

You know, we wake up in the morning,

Znate, budimo se svakog jutra,

you get dressed, put on your shoes,

obučete se, obujete,

you head out into the world.

krenete među svet.

You plan on coming back, getting undressed,

Nameravate da se vratite, svučete,

going to bed,

odete u krevet,

waking up, doing it again,

budite se, opet sve iznova,

and that anticipation, that rhythm,

i to očekivanje, taj ritam

helps give us a structure

nam pomažu da imamo strukturu

to how we organize ourselves and our lives,

da organizujemo sebe i sopstvene živote

and gives it a measure of predictability.

i unesemo dozu predvidljivosti.

Living in New York City, as I do,

Živeti u Njujorku, poput mene,

it's almost as if, with so many people doing so many things

uz toliko ljudi koji istovremeno obavljaju razne stvari

at the same time in such close quarters,

u isto vreme u tako malom prostoru,

it's almost like life is dealing you extra hands

to je kao da vam život postavlja

out of that deck.

dodatne prepreke.

You're never, there's just, juxtapositions are possible

Moguća su povezivanja

that just aren't, you don't think they're going to happen.

za koja vi mislite da ne mogu da se ostvare.

And you never think you're going to be the guy

I nikada ne mislite da ćete baš vi biti ti

who's walking down the street

koji će da šetaju ulicom

and, because you choose to go down one side or the other,

i samo zato što odlučite da idete jednom ili drugim stranom ulice,

the rest of your life is changed forever.

ostatak vašeg života se menja zauvek.

And one night, I'm riding the uptown local train.

Tako jedne večeri, vozim se lokalnim vozom za gornji deo grada.

I get on. I tend to be a little bit vigilant

Uđem u voz. Pokušavam da budem obazriviji

when I get on the subway.

kad ulazim u podzemnu železnicu.

I'm not one of the people zoning out with headphones

Nisam od onih koji su odsutni uz slušalice

or a book.

ili knjigu.

And I get on the car, and I look, and I

Uđem unutra i gledam,

notice this couple,

i primetim taj par,

college-aged, student-looking kids,

decu koja su, rekao bih, studenti,

a guy and a girl, and they're sitting next to each other,

momak i devojka, sede jedno pored drugog,

and she's got her leg draped over his knee,

njena noga preko njegovog kolena,

and they're doing -- they have this little contraption,

i prave - imaju tu malu čudnu spravu

and they're tying these knots,

i vezuju čvorove,

and they're doing it with one hand,

rade jednom rukom,

they're doing it left-handed and right-handed very quickly,

desnom i levom rukom veoma brzo

and then she'll hand the thing to him and he'll do it.

zatim mu ona to dodaje i on to radi.

I've never seen anything like this.

Nikada nisam video nešto slično.

It's almost like they're practicing magic tricks.

Čini se kao da uvežbavaju magične trikove.

And at the next stop, a guy gets on the car,

I na sledećoj stanici, neki čovek ulazi u vagon,

and he has this sort of visiting professor look to him.

koji izgleda poput nekog profesora.

He's got the overstuffed leather satchel

Ima pretrpanu kožnu torbu,

and the rectangular file case and a laptop bag

pravougaonu fasciklu i torbu za laptop

and the tweed jacket with the leather patches,

i jaknu od tvida s kožnim zakrpama

and — (Laughter) —

i - (Smeh) -

he looks at them, and then

pogleda ih,

in a blink of an eye, he kneels down in front of them,

i u tren oka kleči ispred njih

and he starts to say,

i govori im:

"You know, listen, here's how you can do it. Look,

"Znate, slušajte, možete ovako da uradite.

if you do this -- " and he takes the laces out of their hand,

Pogledajte, ako uradite ovo -" i uzima im vezicu iz ruku

and instantly, he starts tying these knots,

i istog trenutka počinje da veže čvorove

and even better than they were doing it, remarkably.

čak bolje nego što su oni to radili, izvanredno.

And it turns out they are medical students

I ispostavi se da su to studenti medicine

on their way to a lecture about the latest

koji su upravo krenuli na predavanje o najnovijim

suturing techniques, and he's the guy giving the lecture.

tehnikama ušivanja, a on je upravo taj predavač.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So he starts to tell them, and he's like,

Dakle, počinje da im govori u stilu,

"No, this is very important here. You know,

"Ne, ovo ovde je veoma važno. Znate,

when you're needing these knots,

kad su vam potrebni čvorovi,

it's going to be, you know, everything's

biće, znate, sve će da se

going to be happening at the same time, it's going to be --

dešava istovremeno -

you're going to have all this information coming at you,

bićete zasuti s mnogo informacija,

there's going to be organs getting in the way,

smetaće vam organi,

it's going to be slippery,

biće klizavo

and

i

it's just very important that you be able to do these

veoma je važno da možete tada da ovo uradite bez obzira na sve,

beyond second nature, each hand, left hand, right hand,

s obe ruke, levom rukom, desnom rukom,

you have to be able to do them without seeing your fingers."

morate to da uradite bez gledanja u svoje prste."

And at that moment, when I heard that,

I u tom trenutku, kad sam to čuo,

I just got catapulted out of the subway car into a night

odjednom sam se zamislio van podzemne železnice, negde u noći,

when I had been getting a ride in an ambulance

kad su me vozili u ambulantnim kolima,

from the sidewalk where I had been stabbed

pokupivši me sa trotoara gde sam bio izboden,

to the trauma room of St. Vincent's Hospital in Manhattan,

i voze me u salu bolnice Svetog Vinsenta na Menhetnu.

and what had happened was

Desilo se da se pojavila

a gang had come in from Brooklyn.

banda iz Bruklina.

As part of an initiation for three of their members,

Čin inicijacije za trojicu članova bande

they had to kill somebody,

bio je da nekog ubiju,

and I happened to be the guy walking down Bleecker Street

i desilo se da sam ja bio taj koji je šetao Bliker ulicom

that night,

te noći

and they jumped on me without a word.

i zaskočili su me bez reči.

One of the very lucky things,

Jedna od srećnijih okolnosti je da sam,

when I was at Notre Dame, I was on the boxing team,

kada sam bio u Notr Damu, bio član bokserskog tima,

so I put my hands up right away, instinctively.

pa sam insinktivno istog trena podigao šake.

The guy on the right had a knife with a 10-inch blade,

Momak s desna je imao nož sa 25 cm dugom oštricom,

and he went in under my elbow,

zario ju je ispod mog lakta

and it went up and cut my inferior vena cava.

povukao na gore i presekao mi donju venu zaduženu za dotok krvi u srce.

If you know anything about anatomy,

Ako znate išta iz anatomije,

that's not a good thing to get cut,

to nije najbolji izbor za preseći

and everything, of course, on the way up,

i sve na gore, naravno,

and then — I still had my hands up —

i tada - još uvek su mi ruke bile podignute -

he pulled it out and went for my neck,

izvadio ga je i krenuo ka mom vratu,

and sunk it in up to the hilt in my neck,

i zario do balčaka.

and I got one straight right punch

Ja sam zamahnuo desnicom

and knocked the middle guy out.

i srušio srednjeg tipa.

The other guy was still working on me,

Drugi momak se još bavio mnome,

collapsing my other lung,

udarao drugo plućno krilo.

and I managed to, by hitting that guy, to get a minute.

Nakon što sam ga udario, uspeo sam da dobijem minut vremena.

I ran down the street and collapsed,

Potrčao sam niz ulicu i srušio se

and the ambulance guys intubated me on the sidewalk

i bolničari su me intubirali na trotoaru

and let the trauma room know

i pozvali salu da jave

they had an incoming.

da stiže pacijent.

And one of the

I jedan od

side effects of having major massive blood loss

efekata prilikom gubitka velike količine krvi

is you get tunnel vision,

je što imate polusvesna sećanja.

so I remember being on the stretcher

Sećam se da sam bio na nosilima

and having a little nickel-sized cone of vision,

i video kao kroz malu kupu,

and I was moving my head around

pomerao sam glavu.

and we got to St. Vincent's,

Stigli smo u Sveti Vinsent bolnicu,

and we're racing down this hallway,

jurimo niz hodnik,

and I see the lights going,

vidim svetla,

and it's a peculiar effect of memories like that.

i to je čudan efekat sećanja.

They don't really go to the usual place that memories go.

Ta sećanja nisu gde i ostala.

They kind of have this vault where they're stored in high-def,

Kao da imaju sef u kome su pohranjena u visokoj rezoluciji

and George Lucas did all the sound effects. (Laughter)

i Džordž Lukas im je sredio sve zvučne efekte. (Smeh)

So sometimes, remembering them, it's like,

Ponekad, sećajući se toga,

it's not like any other kind of memories.

kao da nije bilo kakvo sećanje.

And I get into the trauma room,

Ulazim u salu,

and they're waiting for me, and the lights are there,

čekaju me, svetla su upaljena,

and I'd been able to breathe a little more now,

mogao sam malo da dišem

because the blood has left, had been filling up my lungs

jer je krv, koja je ispunjavala moja pluća, nestala

and I was having a very hard time breathing,

i teško sam disao,

but now it's kind of gone into the stretcher.

a sada kao da je sve ostalo na nosilima.

And I said, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

I pitao sam: "Mogu li nekako da pomognem?"

and — (Laughter) —

i - (Smeh) -

the nurse kind of had a hysterical laugh, and

sestra se počela malo histerično smejati

I'm turning my head trying to see everybody,

i ja okrećem glavu pokušavajući da vidim sve,

and I had this weird memory of being in college

i setim se čudnog trenutka kad sam studirao

and raising,

i skupljao novac

raising money for the flood victims of Bangladesh,

za žrtve poplave u Bangladešu.

and then I look over and my anesthesiologist

Zatim pogledam s druge strane i moj anesteziolog

is clamping the mask on me, and I think,

stavlja masku na mene i, mislim,

"He looks Bangladeshi," — (Laughter) —

"Izgleda kao da je iz Bangladeša", - (Smeh) -

and I just have those two facts, and I just think,

i samo su mi te dve stvari bile u glavi, i samo sam mislio

"This could work somehow." (Laughter)

"Ovo bi nekako moglo da uspe." (Smeh)

And then I go out, and

Zatim sam zaspao,

they work on me for the rest of the night,

rade na meni ostatak noći,

and I needed about 40 units of blood to keep me there

i trebalo im je 40 jedinica krvi za mene

while they did their work,

dok su radili.

and the surgeon took out about a third of my intestines,

Hirurg je izvadio skoro trećinu mojih creva

my cecum, organs I didn't know that I had,

moje slepo crevo, organe koje nisam ni znao da imam,

and he later told me one of the last things he did

i posle mi je rekao da je, poslednja stvar koju je uradio

while he was in there was to remove my appendix for me,

dok sam bio otvoren, otklonio moj crvuljak

which I thought was great, you know,

i smatrao sam da je to odlično, znate,

just a little tidy thing there at the end. (Laughter)

jedna mala uredna stvar na kraju. (Smeh)

And I came to in the morning.

I došao sam sebi ujutro.

Out of anesthetic, he had let them know

Iz anestezije, rekao im je da ga obaveste jer

that he wanted to be there, and he had given me

je hteo da bude tamo i rekao mi je da imam

about a two percent chance of living.

dva posto šanse da preživim.

So he was there when I woke up,

Bio je prisutan kad sam se probudio,

and it was, waking up was like

i bilo je, buđenje je bilo kao

breaking through the ice into a frozen lake of pain.

probijanje leda u zamrznutom jezeru bola.

It was that enveloping,

Bilo je toliko okružujuće

and there was only one spot that didn't hurt

i samo jedna tačka nije bolela,

worse than anything I'd ever felt,

gore od svega što sam ikada osećao

and it was my instep,

i to je bio moj gornji deo tabana

and he was holding the arch of my foot

i držao je luk mog stopala

and rubbing the instep with his thumb.

i trljao gornji deo svojim palcem.

And I looked up, and he's like,

Pogledao sam ga, a on je rekao:

"Good to see you,"

"Drago mi je što te vidim",

and I was trying to remember what had happened

a ja sam pokušavao da se setim šta se desilo

and trying to get my head around everything,

i pokušao sve da shvatim,

and the pain was just overwhelming, and he said,

bol me je nadvladavala i rekao mi je:

"You know, we didn't cut your hair. I thought

"Znaš, nismo te šišali. Pomislio sam

you might have gotten strength from your hair like Samson,

da ti snaga dolazi iz kose, kao kod Samsona,

and you're going to need all the strength you can get."

a trebaće ti sva snaga koju imaš."

And in those days, my hair was down to my waist,

Tih dana, kosa mi je bila do struka,

I drove a motorcycle, I was unmarried,

vozio sam motor, nisam bio oženjen.

I owned a bar, so those were different times. (Laughter)

Imao sam kafić, dakle, to su bila druga vremena. (Smeh)

But

Međutim,

I had three days of life support,

bio sam tri dana na aparatima

and everybody was expecting,

i svi su očekivali,

due to just the massive amount of what they had had to do

s obzirom na masu stvari koje su morali da urade na meni,

that I wasn't going to make it,

da neću uspeti.

so it was three days of

Dakle, to su bila tri dana kada su čekali

everybody was either waiting for me to die or poop,

da ili umrem ili obavim nuždu

and — (Laughter) —

i - (Smeh)

when I finally pooped, then that somehow,

kada sam konačno obavio nuždu,

surgically speaking, that's like you crossed some good line,

hirurški rečeno, kao da sam prešao liniju

and, um — (Laughter) —

i - (Smeh)

on that day, the surgeon came in

tog dana je hirurg ušao

and whipped the sheet off of me.

i strgao pokrivač sa mene.

He had three or four friends with him,

S njim su bila trojica ili četvorica prijatelja,

and he does that, and they all look,

a on je to uradio, oni su pogledali

and there was no infection,

nije bilo infekcije,

and they bend over me and they're poking and prodding,

nagnuli su se preko mene, pipkaju i gurkaju

and they're like, "There's no hematomas, blah blah,

i kažu: "Nema hematoma, bla, bla,

look at the color," and they're talking amongst themselves

pogledaj boju kože", i pričaju među sobom

and I'm, like, this restored automobile

a ja sam kao popravljen automobil,

that he's just going, "Yeah, I did that." (Laughter)

lekar govori: "Da, ja sam uradio to." (Smeh)

And it was just,

To je bilo neverovatno,

it was amazing, because these guys are high-fiving him

jer su mu čestitali

over how good I turned out, you know? (Laughter)

zbog mog stanja, znate? (Smeh)

And it's my zipper, and I've still got the staples in

To je moj rajsferšlus i još uvek imam konce unutra

and everything.

i sve.

And

I,

later on, when I got out

kasnije, kad sam izašao,

and the flashbacks and the

i sećanja i noćne more

nightmares were giving me a hard time,

počele,

I went back to him

otišao sam kod njega

and I was sort of asking him,

i upitao ga,

you know, what am I gonna do?

znate, šta da radim?

And I think, kind of, as a surgeon, he basically said,

I mislim da je, kao hirurg, samo rekao:

"Kid, I saved your life.

"Momče, spasao sam ti život.

Like, now you can do whatever you want, like,

U smislu, sad možeš da radiš šta hoćeš,

you gotta get on with that.

moraš da živiš s tim.

It's like I gave you a new car

Kao da sam ti dao novi auto,

and you're complaining about not finding parking.

a ti se žališ kako nema parking mesta.

Like, just, go out, and, you know, do your best.

Izađi i daj sve od sebe.

But you're alive. That's what it's about."

Živ si. To je ono što je važno."

And then I hear, "Bing-bong," and the subway doors

I onda sam čuo, "Bing- bong" i vrata podzemne železnice

are closing, and my stop is next, and I look at these kids,

su se zatvarala i moja stanica je sledeća, pogledao sam tu decu,

and I go, I think to myself,

i pomislio,

"I'm going to lift my shirt up

"Podići ću majicu

and show them," — (Laughter) —

i pokazaću im" - (Smeh)

and then I think, "No, this is the New York City subway,

i zatim pomislih: "Ne, ovo je podzemna železnica Njujorka,

that's going to lead to other things." (Laughter)

to će značiti neke druge stvari." (Smeh)

And so I just think, they got their lecture to go to.

I samo pomislih, moraju na predavanje.

I step off, I'm standing on the platform,

Iskoračio sam, stojim na peronu,

and I feel my index finger

i osetim svoj kažiprst

in

kako dodiruje

the first scar that I ever got,

moj prvi ožiljak u životu,

from my umbilical cord,

od moje pupčane vrpce,

and then around that, is traced

i oko toga je

the last scar that I got

poslednji ožiljak koji imam

from my surgeon,

s operacije

and I think that, that chance encounter

i mislim da me je taj slučajni susret

with those kids on the street with their knives

sa tom decom na ulici s noževima,

led me

vodio do

to my surgical team,

mog hirurškog tima,

and their training

a njihova praksa,

and their skill

veština,

and, always, a little bit of luck

i uvek pomalo sreće

pushed back against chaos.

bili su nasuprot haosa.

Thank you. (Applause)

Hvala. (Aplauz)

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Thank you. Very lucky to be here. Thank you. (Applause)

Hvala lepo. Veoma sam srećan što sam ovde. Hvala vam. (Aplauz)