Ed Gavagan: A story about knots and surgeons

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Prevoditelj: Senzos Osijek Recezent: Suzana Baric

You know, we wake up in the morning,

Znate, probudite se ujutro,

you get dressed, put on your shoes,

odjenete se, obujete,

you head out into the world.

krenete u svijet.

You plan on coming back, getting undressed,

Planirate se vratiti, razodjenuti,

going to bed,

otići u krevet,

waking up, doing it again,

probuditi se, napraviti sve ponovno.

and that anticipation, that rhythm,

I to nam iščekivanje, taj ritam,

helps give us a structure

daje strukturu načinu

to how we organize ourselves and our lives,

na koji organiziramo sami sebe i svoje živote

and gives it a measure of predictability.

te mu daje mjeru predvidljivosti.

Living in New York City, as I do,

Živjeti u New Yorku, kao što ja živim,

it's almost as if, with so many people doing so many things

s toliko ljudi koji rade toliko stvari

at the same time in such close quarters,

u isto vrijeme u tako bliskim životnim prostorima,

it's almost like life is dealing you extra hands

skoro je kao da vam život daje dodatne ruke

out of that deck.

kako bi vam pomogao.

You're never, there's just, juxtapositions are possible

Moguća su dodirivanja, preklapanja,

that just aren't, you don't think they're going to happen.

koja jednostavno nisu, ne mislite da će se dogoditi.

And you never think you're going to be the guy

Nikad ne mislite da ćete biti onaj

who's walking down the street

koji hoda ulicom

and, because you choose to go down one side or the other,

i zato što odabere ići jednom stranom ili drugom,

the rest of your life is changed forever.

ostatak života mu se zauvijek promijeni.

And one night, I'm riding the uptown local train.

Jedne noći vozio sam se lokalnim vlakom.

I get on. I tend to be a little bit vigilant

Ukrcao sam se. Obično sam malo oprezniji

when I get on the subway.

kad uđem u podzemnu željeznicu.

I'm not one of the people zoning out with headphones

Nisam jedan od ljudi koji se isključe sa slušalicama

or a book.

ili knjigom.

And I get on the car, and I look, and I

Ušao sam u vagon

notice this couple,

i ugledao jedan par,

college-aged, student-looking kids,

fakultetske dobi, klinci studentskog izgleda,

a guy and a girl, and they're sitting next to each other,

momka i djevojku koji su sjedili jedno kraj drugog,

and she's got her leg draped over his knee,

a njena je noga bila prebačena preko njegovog koljena.

and they're doing -- they have this little contraption,

Imali su tu spravicu

and they're tying these knots,

i vezivali čvorove

and they're doing it with one hand,

i radili su to jednom rukom,

they're doing it left-handed and right-handed very quickly,

i lijevom i desnom rukom vrlo brzo,

and then she'll hand the thing to him and he'll do it.

a zatim je ona pružila spravu njemu i onda je on to radio.

I've never seen anything like this.

Nikad nisam vidio nešto slično tome.

It's almost like they're practicing magic tricks.

Skoro kao da vježbaju mađioničarske trikove.

And at the next stop, a guy gets on the car,

Na idućoj stanici u vagon je ušao jedan tip,

and he has this sort of visiting professor look to him.

a nekako je izgledao poput gostujućeg profesora.

He's got the overstuffed leather satchel

Imao je pretrpanu kožnu torbu,

and the rectangular file case and a laptop bag

pravokutan spremnik za spise, torbu za laptop

and the tweed jacket with the leather patches,

i jaknu od tvida s kožnim zakrpama,

and — (Laughter) —

i -- (Smijeh) --

he looks at them, and then

pogledao ih je i onda je

in a blink of an eye, he kneels down in front of them,

u tren oka kleknuo pred njih

and he starts to say,

i počeo govoriti:

"You know, listen, here's how you can do it. Look,

"Slušajte, možete to ovako raditi. Gledajte,

if you do this -- " and he takes the laces out of their hand,

ako napravite ovo -- " i uzeo im je vezice iz ruku,

and instantly, he starts tying these knots,

i odmah počeo vezati čvorove,

and even better than they were doing it, remarkably.

još spretnije nego što su oni to radili, začuđujuće.

And it turns out they are medical students

Ispalo je da su oni studenti medicine

on their way to a lecture about the latest

na putu na predavanje o najnovijim

suturing techniques, and he's the guy giving the lecture.

tehnikama šivanja, a on je tip koji drži predavanje.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So he starts to tell them, and he's like,

Počeo im je pričati:

"No, this is very important here. You know,

"Ne, ovo je jako bitno. Znate,

when you're needing these knots,

kad vam zatrebaju ovi čvorovi,

it's going to be, you know, everything's

bit će, znate,

going to be happening at the same time, it's going to be --

sve će se događati u isto vrijeme --

you're going to have all this information coming at you,

imat ćete sve te informacije koje će dolaziti,

there's going to be organs getting in the way,

organi će vam biti na putu,

it's going to be slippery,

bit će klizavo,

and

i

it's just very important that you be able to do these

jako je bitno da ih možete napraviti

beyond second nature, each hand, left hand, right hand,

veoma vješto, obje ruke, lijeva ruka, desna ruka,

you have to be able to do them without seeing your fingers."

morate ih moći napraviti bez da vidite svoje prste."

And at that moment, when I heard that,

U tom trenutku, kad sam to čuo,

I just got catapulted out of the subway car into a night

odbačen sam iz vagona u noć

when I had been getting a ride in an ambulance

kad sam bio u vozilu hitne,

from the sidewalk where I had been stabbed

nakon što sam izboden na pločniku,

to the trauma room of St. Vincent's Hospital in Manhattan,

na putu za traumatologiju bolnice Sv. Vincenta na Manhattanu.

and what had happened was

Što se dogodilo?

a gang had come in from Brooklyn.

Jedna je banda došla iz Brooklyna.

As part of an initiation for three of their members,

Kao dio inicijacije, trojica njihovih članova

they had to kill somebody,

morala su ubiti nekog,

and I happened to be the guy walking down Bleecker Street

a ja sam bio tip koji je hodao ulicom Bleecker

that night,

te noći

and they jumped on me without a word.

i zaskočili su me bez riječi.

One of the very lucky things,

Imao sam sreće jer,

when I was at Notre Dame, I was on the boxing team,

kad sam bio na Notre Dameu, bio sam u boksačkom timu

so I put my hands up right away, instinctively.

pa sam istog trena podigao ruke, instinktivno.

The guy on the right had a knife with a 10-inch blade,

Tip zdesna imao je nož s oštricom dugom 25 cm,

and he went in under my elbow,

zario ga je ispod mog lakta

and it went up and cut my inferior vena cava.

i porezao mi je donju šuplju venu.

If you know anything about anatomy,

Ako znate išta o anatomiji,

that's not a good thing to get cut,

nije dobro to prerezati

and everything, of course, on the way up,

i, naravno, sve iznad toga,

and then — I still had my hands up —

i onda -- i dalje sam imao ruke gore --

he pulled it out and went for my neck,

izvukao ga je i krenuo prema mom vratu,

and sunk it in up to the hilt in my neck,

zabio ga skroz do drška u moj vrat.

and I got one straight right punch

Uspio sam zadati jedan izravan desni udarac

and knocked the middle guy out.

i srušio srednjeg tipa.

The other guy was still working on me,

Drugi je tip i dalje radio na meni,

collapsing my other lung,

urušavajući moje drugo plućno krilo,

and I managed to, by hitting that guy, to get a minute.

i uspio sam, udarivši tog tipa, dobiti minutu vremena.

I ran down the street and collapsed,

Potrčao sam niz ulicu i srušio se,

and the ambulance guys intubated me on the sidewalk

a ljudi iz hitne intubirali su me na pločniku

and let the trauma room know

i javili traumatologiji

they had an incoming.

da imaju dolazećeg pacijenta.

And one of the

Jedna od

side effects of having major massive blood loss

nuspojava kad izgubite mnogo krvi

is you get tunnel vision,

jest tunelski vid,

so I remember being on the stretcher

tako da se sjećam da sam bio na nosilima

and having a little nickel-sized cone of vision,

i da sam vidio kao da gledam kroz špijunku

and I was moving my head around

i pomicao sam glavom okolo.

and we got to St. Vincent's,

Stigli smo do Sv. Vincenta

and we're racing down this hallway,

i jurili hodnikom,

and I see the lights going,

vidio sam kako se svjetla pale

and it's a peculiar effect of memories like that.

i to je zanimljiv učinak takvih sjećanja.

They don't really go to the usual place that memories go.

Ne idu zapravo na mjesto gdje sjećanja inače idu.

They kind of have this vault where they're stored in high-def,

Kao da postoji nekakav trezor gdje su spremljena u visokoj rezoluciji,

and George Lucas did all the sound effects. (Laughter)

a George Lucas je radio sve zvučne efekte. (Smijeh)

So sometimes, remembering them, it's like,

Ponekad kad ih se sjećamo,

it's not like any other kind of memories.

ona nekako nisu poput drugih vrsta sjećanja.

And I get into the trauma room,

Ušao sam u šok sobu

and they're waiting for me, and the lights are there,

i čekali su me, i svjetla su bila tamo,

and I'd been able to breathe a little more now,

mogao sam tad disati malo više

because the blood has left, had been filling up my lungs

jer je otekla krv koja je ispunjavala moja pluća

and I was having a very hard time breathing,

i imao sam velike poteškoće s disanjem,

but now it's kind of gone into the stretcher.

ali tad je nekako prešla u nosila.

And I said, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Rekao sam: "Mogu li nešto učiniti da pomognem?"

and — (Laughter) —

i -- (Smijeh) --

the nurse kind of had a hysterical laugh, and

sestra se nekako počela histerično smijati,

I'm turning my head trying to see everybody,

okretao sam glavu pokušavajući sve vidjeti,

and I had this weird memory of being in college

i imao sam čudno sjećanje kako sam bio na fakultetu

and raising,

i prikupljao,

raising money for the flood victims of Bangladesh,

prikupljao sam novac za žrtve poplave u Bangladešu.

and then I look over and my anesthesiologist

Tada sam vidio kako mi anesteziolog

is clamping the mask on me, and I think,

stavlja masku i pomislio:

"He looks Bangladeshi," — (Laughter) —

"Izgleda nekako bangladeški." -- (Smijeh) --

and I just have those two facts, and I just think,

a imao sam samo te dvije činjenice i mislim:

"This could work somehow." (Laughter)

"Ovo bi moglo ići." (Smijeh)

And then I go out, and

I onda sam se onesvijestio,

they work on me for the rest of the night,

a oni su radili na meni ostatak noći,

and I needed about 40 units of blood to keep me there

i trebao sam oko 40 jedinica krvi da me održe na životu

while they did their work,

dok su radili svoj posao.

and the surgeon took out about a third of my intestines,

Kirurg je izvadio oko trećinu mojih crijeva,

my cecum, organs I didn't know that I had,

slijepo crijevo, organe za koje nisam ni znao da ih imam,

and he later told me one of the last things he did

i kasnije je rekao da mi je za kraj

while he was in there was to remove my appendix for me,

dok je bio unutra izvadio crvuljak,

which I thought was great, you know,

što sam smatrao odličnim, znate,

just a little tidy thing there at the end. (Laughter)

samo mala stvarčica tamo na kraju. (Smijeh)

And I came to in the morning.

Osvijestio sam se ujutro.

Out of anesthetic, he had let them know

Bez anestetika, dao mi je do znanja

that he wanted to be there, and he had given me

da je htio biti tamo i dao mi je

about a two percent chance of living.

oko 2% šanse za preživljavanje.

So he was there when I woke up,

Bio je tamo kad sam se probudio,

and it was, waking up was like

a buđenje je bilo poput

breaking through the ice into a frozen lake of pain.

probijanja leda u zaleđeno jezero boli.

It was that enveloping,

Bilo je sveobuhvatno,

and there was only one spot that didn't hurt

i samo me jedan dio nije bolio

worse than anything I'd ever felt,

gore od ičega što sam ikad osjetio,

and it was my instep,

a to je bio moj taban.

and he was holding the arch of my foot

Držao je luk mog stopala

and rubbing the instep with his thumb.

i trljao taban svojim palcem.

And I looked up, and he's like,

Pogledao sam prema gore, a on je rekao:

"Good to see you,"

"Drago mi je vidjeti te",

and I was trying to remember what had happened

a ja sam se pokušavao sjetiti što se dogodilo

and trying to get my head around everything,

i pokušavao shvatiti sve.

and the pain was just overwhelming, and he said,

Bol je bila jednostavno prejaka, a on je rekao:

"You know, we didn't cut your hair. I thought

"Znaš, nismo te šišali. Mislio sam

you might have gotten strength from your hair like Samson,

da možda dobivaš snagu od svoje kose poput Samsona,

and you're going to need all the strength you can get."

a trebat će ti sva snaga koju možeš dobiti."

And in those days, my hair was down to my waist,

Tada sam imao kosu do struka,

I drove a motorcycle, I was unmarried,

vozio sam motor, nisam bio neoženjen,

I owned a bar, so those were different times. (Laughter)

bio sam vlasnik kafića, bila su to drugačija vremena. (Smijeh)

But

Ali

I had three days of life support,

tri sam dana bio na aparatima

and everybody was expecting,

i svi su očekivali,

due to just the massive amount of what they had had to do

zbog same činjenice koliko toga su morali napraviti,

that I wasn't going to make it,

da jednostavno neću preživjeti

so it was three days of

pa su ta tri dana

everybody was either waiting for me to die or poop,

svi čekali ili da umrem ili da kakam,

and — (Laughter) —

i -- (Smijeh) --

when I finally pooped, then that somehow,

kad sam se napokon pokakao, onda je to kao,

surgically speaking, that's like you crossed some good line,

kirurški gledano, da ste prešli neku dobru granicu,

and, um — (Laughter) —

i -- (Smijeh) --

on that day, the surgeon came in

tog dana, kirurg je došao

and whipped the sheet off of me.

i skinuo posteljinu s mene.

He had three or four friends with him,

Imao je tri, četiri prijatelja sa sobom,

and he does that, and they all look,

to je napravio i svi su pogledali

and there was no infection,

i nije bilo infekcije.

and they bend over me and they're poking and prodding,

Svi se sagnuli nada mnom i bockali i pipali,

and they're like, "There's no hematomas, blah blah,

svi su govorili kako nema hematoma, bla bla,

look at the color," and they're talking amongst themselves

da pogledaju boju, i pričali su među sobom

and I'm, like, this restored automobile

kao da sam neki obnovljeni automobil

that he's just going, "Yeah, I did that." (Laughter)

za koji kaže: "Da, to sam ja napravio." (Smijeh)

And it was just,

I bilo je

it was amazing, because these guys are high-fiving him

jednostavno čudesno, zato što mu ti tipovi daju pet

over how good I turned out, you know? (Laughter)

zbog toga što sam odlično ispao, znate? (Smijeh)

And it's my zipper, and I've still got the staples in

To je moj zatvarač i još uvijek imam spajalice unutra

and everything.

i sve.

And

I

later on, when I got out

kasnije, kad sam se probudio

and the flashbacks and the

i kad su mi sjećanja i

nightmares were giving me a hard time,

noćne more zadavale probleme,

I went back to him

otišao sam kod njega

and I was sort of asking him,

i upitao ga

you know, what am I gonna do?

što da radim.

And I think, kind of, as a surgeon, he basically said,

I mislim da je, kao kirurg, jednostavno rekao:

"Kid, I saved your life.

"Dečko, spasio sam ti život.

Like, now you can do whatever you want, like,

Sad možeš što hoćeš,

you gotta get on with that.

moraš nastaviti s tim.

It's like I gave you a new car

To je kao da sam ti dao novi auto,

and you're complaining about not finding parking.

a žališ se zato što ne možeš naći parking.

Like, just, go out, and, you know, do your best.

Samo izađi, i, znaš, daj sve od sebe.

But you're alive. That's what it's about."

Ali živ si. To je ono o čemu se radi."

And then I hear, "Bing-bong," and the subway doors

I onda čujem: "Bing-bong", i to su vrata podzemne

are closing, and my stop is next, and I look at these kids,

koja se zatvaraju, a silazim na idućoj stanici, i pogledam te klince,

and I go, I think to myself,

i pomislim u sebi

"I'm going to lift my shirt up

da bih mogao podići svoju majicu

and show them," — (Laughter) —

i pokazati im -- (Smijeh) --

and then I think, "No, this is the New York City subway,

a onda pomislim: "Ne, ovo je podzemna u New Yorku,

that's going to lead to other things." (Laughter)

to će dovesti do drugih stvari." (Smijeh)

And so I just think, they got their lecture to go to.

I tako samo mislim kako imaju svoje predavanje na koje moraju ići.

I step off, I'm standing on the platform,

Siđem, stojim na platformi,

and I feel my index finger

i osjećam svoj kažiprst

in

u

the first scar that I ever got,

prvom ožiljku koji sam ikad dobio,

from my umbilical cord,

od svoje pupčane vrpce,

and then around that, is traced

i onda se oko tog ocrtava

the last scar that I got

zadnji ožiljak koji sam dobio

from my surgeon,

od svog kirurga.

and I think that, that chance encounter

Mislim da me taj slučajni susret

with those kids on the street with their knives

s klincima na ulici i njihovim noževima

led me

doveo

to my surgical team,

do mog kirurškog tima,

and their training

a njihova je obuka

and their skill

i njihova vještina

and, always, a little bit of luck

i, uvijek, trunka sreće

pushed back against chaos.

potukla kaos.

Thank you. (Applause)

Hvala. (Pljesak)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Thank you. Very lucky to be here. Thank you. (Applause)

Hvala. Sretan sam što sam ovdje. Hvala. (Pljesak)