Ed Gavagan: A story about knots and surgeons

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Translator: William Choi Reviewer: Michelle Ho

You know, we wake up in the morning,

我哋朝早起身，著衫著鞋

you get dressed, put on your shoes,

you head out into the world.

然後離開屋企

You plan on coming back, getting undressed,

一日完咗之後

你會返嚟屋企，換衫瞓覺

going to bed,

waking up, doing it again,

第二日起身又重覆琴日嘅嘢

and that anticipation, that rhythm,

就係呢個節奏令到生活有一個結構

helps give us a structure

to how we organize ourselves and our lives,

幫我哋組織生活

and gives it a measure of predictability.

畀到我哋有預算

Living in New York City, as I do,

我住喺紐約

it's almost as if, with so many people doing so many things

紐約喺一個細嘅地方

呢個城市每分每秒 好多人做緊好多嘅嘢

at the same time in such close quarters,

it's almost like life is dealing you extra hands

而生命就好似你喺一局入面 同時玩緊幾副啤牌咁

out of that deck.

You're never, there's just, juxtapositions are possible

所有事情一齊發生係可能嘅

that just aren't, you don't think they're going to happen.

只不過你無諗過事情真嘅會同時發生啫

And you never think you're going to be the guy

你無諗過你會係街上某某人

who's walking down the street

and, because you choose to go down one side or the other,

因為行左或者行右嘅決定

the rest of your life is changed forever.

你嘅餘生將會因此改變

And one night, I'm riding the uptown local train.

有一晚我喺郊區坐地鐵

I get on. I tend to be a little bit vigilant

我上咗車，我往往比較警惕

when I get on the subway.

當我撘地鐵時

I'm not one of the people zoning out with headphones

我唔似其他人咁載住耳筒或者睇書

or a book.

And I get on the car, and I look, and I

我上咗車之後會四圍望

notice this couple,

我見到呢對情侶

college-aged, student-looking kids,

大約廿歲、似係大學生

a guy and a girl, and they're sitting next to each other,

一男一女一齊坐

and she's got her leg draped over his knee,

個女仔將隻腳放喺男仔嘅膝頭上面

and they're doing -- they have this little contraption,

佢哋玩緊一個小玩意

and they're tying these knots,

佢哋喺度打緊一堆繩結

and they're doing it with one hand,

佢哋用一隻手打結

they're doing it left-handed and right-handed very quickly,

用左手又用右手好快咁打結

and then she'll hand the thing to him and he'll do it.

然後個女仔將嗰堆繩結 交咗俾個男

到個男仔打結

I've never seen anything like this.

It's almost like they're practicing magic tricks.

我從未見過類似嘅嘢

佢哋好似練習魔術咁

And at the next stop, a guy gets on the car,

到下一個站，有個男人上車

and he has this sort of visiting professor look to him.

睇佢個樣好似係大學教授

He's got the overstuffed leather satchel

佢嘅真皮斜揹袋塞滿嘢

and the rectangular file case and a laptop bag

佢有個文件夾同手提電腦袋

and the tweed jacket with the leather patches,

著住斜紋軟呢外套

件外套仲有幾塊真皮補釘

and — (Laughter) —

同埋…（笑聲）

he looks at them, and then

佢望住嗰對情侶

然後轉瞬間，佢跪喺佢哋面前

in a blink of an eye, he kneels down in front of them,

and he starts to say,

佢開始講︰

"You know, listen, here's how you can do it. Look,

「你哋聽住，你哋應該咁做。 睇住，如果咁樣做…」

if you do this -- " and he takes the laces out of their hand,

佢攞咗佢哋嘅繩結，然後打結

and instantly, he starts tying these knots,

and even better than they were doing it, remarkably.

打得比佢哋仲好

And it turns out they are medical students

原來嗰對男女係醫科生

on their way to a lecture about the latest

佢哋喺返學途中

suturing techniques, and he's the guy giving the lecture.

準備去上關於最新縫合技術嘅堂

而嗰個男人就係佢哋嘅講師

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So he starts to tell them, and he's like,

佢就話畀佢哋聽︰「唔喺呀，

"No, this is very important here. You know,

當你哋需要打呢啲結嘅時候， 呢度好重要。

when you're needing these knots,

it's going to be, you know, everything's

所有嘢要係同時發生。

going to be happening at the same time, it's going to be --

you're going to have all this information coming at you,

你要處理所有資訊，

there's going to be organs getting in the way,

又有啲內臟要處理，

it's going to be slippery,

啲嘢又跣手。

and

it's just very important that you be able to do these

超越本能咁做係好重要。

beyond second nature, each hand, left hand, right hand,

用每一隻手，又左手，又右手。

you have to be able to do them without seeing your fingers."

你哋必須喺睇唔到手指嘅情況底下 打到呢啲結。」

And at that moment, when I heard that,

嗰一刻，當我聽到佢咁樣講

I just got catapulted out of the subway car into a night

我即刻諗返嗰晚我被刺傷喺行人路

when I had been getting a ride in an ambulance

from the sidewalk where I had been stabbed

當時我俾救護車送到 曼哈頓聖文森醫院急症室

to the trauma room of St. Vincent's Hospital in Manhattan,

and what had happened was

當時發生嘅事係

a gang had come in from Brooklyn.

布魯克林區有三個古惑仔

As part of an initiation for three of their members,

因為要行入會儀式

they had to kill somebody,

佢哋要殺一個人

and I happened to be the guy walking down Bleecker Street

而我啱啱好喺布里克街行過

that night,

and they jumped on me without a word.

嗰晚，佢哋毫無先兆落就撲向我

One of the very lucky things,

但好彩嘅係

when I was at Notre Dame, I was on the boxing team,

我讀聖母院大學時，我係拳擊隊隊員

so I put my hands up right away, instinctively.

所以我直覺舉起雙手

The guy on the right had a knife with a 10-inch blade,

右手邊嗰個人有把 10 吋長嘅刀

and he went in under my elbow,

佢喺我手肘下面出手

and it went up and cut my inferior vena cava.

把刀跟住上去，刺穿我嘅下腔大靜脈

If you know anything about anatomy,

如果你有讀過解剖學嘅話 就知唔係一件好事

that's not a good thing to get cut,

and everything, of course, on the way up,

當然把刀仲刺埋一路嘅組織

and then — I still had my hands up —

但我仍然舉起雙手

he pulled it out and went for my neck,

佢就掹出把刀，插落我條頸度

and sunk it in up to the hilt in my neck,

插到剩返刀柄露出嚟

and I got one straight right punch

我用右手記嗰個人一拳 就係企喺中間嗰嗰

and knocked the middle guy out.

The other guy was still working on me,

但係第二個人仍然打我

collapsing my other lung,

打傷我另一邊肺部

and I managed to, by hitting that guy, to get a minute.

我還擊嗰個人，爭取一分鐘時間

I ran down the street and collapsed,

我一直走，最後瞓低咗

and the ambulance guys intubated me on the sidewalk

救護員喺行人路度幫我插喉

and let the trauma room know

同埋話畀急症室知有人送緊入嚟

they had an incoming.

And one of the

其中一個大量失血嘅副作用就係 你嘅視力會變成管狀視

side effects of having major massive blood loss

is you get tunnel vision,

so I remember being on the stretcher

所以我記得喺擔架上嘅時候

and having a little nickel-sized cone of vision,

我嘅視力變成亳子咁細

and I was moving my head around

我喺車上另頭咁望

and we got to St. Vincent's,

之後我送到去聖文森醫院

and we're racing down this hallway,

我哋喺醫院走廊上面衝

and I see the lights going,

我見到啲燈不斷閃過

and it's a peculiar effect of memories like that.

都算係記憶中幾特別嘅效果

They don't really go to the usual place that memories go.

咁樣嘅記憶又唔同於一般記憶

They kind of have this vault where they're stored in high-def,

佢哋似儲存高清錄影帶一樣 存喺保險櫃度

and George Lucas did all the sound effects. (Laughter)

而腦裏邊佐治魯卡斯 會負責所有音響效果 （笑聲）

So sometimes, remembering them, it's like,

所以有時諗起呢啲記憶 佢哋唔似其他記憶

it's not like any other kind of memories.

And I get into the trauma room,

當我被推到去急症室時

and they're waiting for me, and the lights are there,

佢哋喺度等緊我，有啲燈喺嗰度

and I'd been able to breathe a little more now,

嗰刻我可以呼吸多啲空氣

because the blood has left, had been filling up my lungs

因為啲血已經流返入我個肺度

and I was having a very hard time breathing,

我之前一度呼吸困難

but now it's kind of gone into the stretcher.

嗰刻我瞓喺擔架上

And I said, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

我話：「有咩嘢我可以幫忙呢？」

and — (Laughter) —

然後…（笑聲）

the nurse kind of had a hysterical laugh, and

有個護士雖然好緊張，但都喺度笑

I'm turning my head trying to see everybody,

我另個頭嘗試睇睇所有人

and I had this weird memory of being in college

然後一個奇怪嘅回憶湧現

and raising,

就係我喺大學為孟加拉水災災民籌款

raising money for the flood victims of Bangladesh,

and then I look over and my anesthesiologist

然後我望一望麻醉師

is clamping the mask on me, and I think,

佢幫緊我載面罩

"He looks Bangladeshi," — (Laughter) —

我就諗︰「佢好似孟加拉人！」 （笑聲）

and I just have those two facts, and I just think,

就呢兩件事我諗︰ 「呢兩樣嘢有關係嘅」（笑聲）

"This could work somehow." (Laughter)

And then I go out, and

然後我就冇知覺

they work on me for the rest of the night,

佢哋成晚都幫我做手術

and I needed about 40 units of blood to keep me there

醫生輸咗大約 40 包血去保住我條命

while they did their work,

and the surgeon took out about a third of my intestines,

醫生仲攞咗我 大約三份之一嘅腸、我嘅盲腸

my cecum, organs I didn't know that I had,

我都唔知我有嘅器官

and he later told me one of the last things he did

佢後嚟話畀我知 佢最後做嘅其中一件事

while he was in there was to remove my appendix for me,

係幫我割咗闌尾

which I thought was great, you know,

我覺得幾好

just a little tidy thing there at the end. (Laughter)

只係腸末端一嚿細嘢 （笑聲）

And I came to in the morning.

第二朝我醒返，麻醉藥消散

Out of anesthetic, he had let them know

佢之前交帶同事話畀佢知 我醒返就搵佢

that he wanted to be there, and he had given me

佢之前仲估我只有百份之二嘅存活率

about a two percent chance of living.

So he was there when I woke up,

所以當我醒嗰時，佢喺度

and it was, waking up was like

醒返就好似 跌穿結冰嘅湖面、墜入冰湖咁痛苦

breaking through the ice into a frozen lake of pain.

It was that enveloping,

我全身都痛

and there was only one spot that didn't hurt

除咗我隻腳嘅內弓 比其他地方冇咁痛之外

worse than anything I'd ever felt,

身體任何一部分都好痛

and it was my instep,

and he was holding the arch of my foot

但係醫生捉住我嘅腳板

and rubbing the instep with his thumb.

用大拇指按摩我嘅腳內弓

And I looked up, and he's like,

我望佢

佢個樣好似同我講「見到你真好」

"Good to see you,"

and I was trying to remember what had happened

我當時嘗試記返發生咗乜嘢事

and trying to get my head around everything,

我嘗試諗返所有嘢

and the pain was just overwhelming, and he said,

但係真係好痛

而佢話︰「我哋無同你剪頭髮，

"You know, we didn't cut your hair. I thought

因為我想你會好似辛普森大力士咁 從頭髮裏面得到力量，

you might have gotten strength from your hair like Samson,

and you're going to need all the strength you can get."

而你會需要所有你攞到嘅力量。」

And in those days, my hair was down to my waist,

嗰時候，我嘅頭髮長到條腰

I drove a motorcycle, I was unmarried,

亦都揸電單車，未婚，有一間酒吧

I owned a bar, so those were different times. (Laughter)

所以嗰時真係好唔一樣 （笑聲）

But

但係我用咗生命維持器三日

I had three days of life support,

and everybody was expecting,

所有人都覺得

due to just the massive amount of what they had had to do

佢哋做咗咁多嘢，我唔會生存到

that I wasn't going to make it,

so it was three days of

所以有三日

everybody was either waiting for me to die or poop,

所有人都喺度一係等我死 一係等我屙屎

and — (Laughter) —

然後…（笑聲）

when I finally pooped, then that somehow,

最後當我屙屎嘅時候

surgically speaking, that's like you crossed some good line,

從手術嘅角度而言 就好似你已經跨越咗生同死嘅界線

and, um — (Laughter) —

然後…（笑聲）

on that day, the surgeon came in

嗰一日，醫生入嚟，拉開我張被

and whipped the sheet off of me.

He had three or four friends with him,

佢同三四個人一齊

and he does that, and they all look,

當佢做檢查嘅時候，嗰幾個人都睇住

and there was no infection,

佢睇到我無任何感染

and they bend over me and they're poking and prodding,

佢哋烏低身，戳一戳，推一推

and they're like, "There's no hematomas, blah blah,

佢哋好似想講︰

「無血腫，諸如此類。睇下啲顏色。」

look at the color," and they're talking amongst themselves

佢哋之間喺度傾偈

and I'm, like, this restored automobile

我就似一部啱啱維修好 嘅私家車，可以行

that he's just going, "Yeah, I did that." (Laughter)

而醫生好似想講︰ 「耶！我整好啦！」（笑聲）

And it was just,

it was amazing, because these guys are high-fiving him

呢幕真係開心嘅，佢哋之間擊掌

over how good I turned out, you know? (Laughter)

慶祝我手術有幾成功 （笑聲）

And it's my zipper, and I've still got the staples in

我仲有個未縫合嘅傷口 釘同所有嘅嘢

and everything.

And

然後，我出院之後

later on, when I got out

and the flashbacks and the

回憶同惡夢令我有段日子好痛苦

nightmares were giving me a hard time,

I went back to him

我返去搵嗰位醫生

and I was sort of asking him,

我問佢我可以做乜嘢

you know, what am I gonna do?

And I think, kind of, as a surgeon, he basically said,

佢身為一個醫生，佢基本上咁樣講

"Kid, I saved your life.

「細路，我救咗你，

Like, now you can do whatever you want, like,

你依家可以做你想做嘅事。

you gotta get on with that.

你要接受現實，繼續生活落去。

It's like I gave you a new car

好似我畀咗架新車你，

and you're complaining about not finding parking.

你卻喺度投訴揾唔到車位。

Like, just, go out, and, you know, do your best.

出去啦，你做到最好就得㗎嘞。

But you're alive. That's what it's about."

你仲活着。成件事就係咁。」

And then I hear, "Bing-bong," and the subway doors

然後我聽到乒乓聲，地鐵門閂緊

are closing, and my stop is next, and I look at these kids,

我下一個站先落車 於是我望住嗰兩個醫科生

and I go, I think to myself,

我又諗「我要拉起件衫畀佢哋睇」

"I'm going to lift my shirt up

and show them," — (Laughter) —

（笑聲）

and then I think, "No, this is the New York City subway,

然後我又諗 ︰

「唔得，呢度係紐約地鐵， 我咁做會有其他後果。」（笑聲）

that's going to lead to other things." (Laughter)

And so I just think, they got their lecture to go to.

我諗佢哋都要上堂，所以我冇打擾佢哋

I step off, I'm standing on the platform,

我行出車箱，企喺月台

and I feel my index finger

我將食指放喺 由臍帶造成嘅第一條疤痕

in

the first scar that I ever got,

from my umbilical cord,

and then around that, is traced

然後圍繞住佢

掃到由外科醫生做嘅最後一條疤痕

the last scar that I got

from my surgeon,

and I think that, that chance encounter

我諗呢個偶然 遇到喺街上攞住刀嘅古惑仔

with those kids on the street with their knives

led me

帶我去到我嘅手術團隊

to my surgical team,

and their training

佢哋嘅訓練、佢哋嘅技巧

and their skill

and, always, a little bit of luck

同埋逢凶化吉嘅運氣

pushed back against chaos.

Thank you. (Applause)

多謝

（掌聲）

(Applause)

Thank you. Very lucky to be here. Thank you. (Applause)

多謝

嚟到呢裡真係好幸運。多謝