Anne-Marie Slaughter: Can we all "have it all"?

Prevodilac: Saška Stojakov Lektor: Mile Živković

So my moment of truth

Moj trenutak istine

did not come all at once.

nije došao odjednom.

In 2010, I had the chance to be considered

Godine 2010, imala sam priliku da razmotre

for promotion from my job

moje unapređenje na poslu

as director of policy planning

kao načelnika odeljenja za planiranje politike

at the U.S. State Department.

u američkom Državnom sekretarijatu.

This was my moment to lean in,

To je bio trenutak da napredujem,

to push myself forward

da idem dalje

for what are really only a handful

jer postoji samo nekoliko

of the very top foreign policy jobs,

najviših poslova za inostranu politiku,

and I had just finished a big, 18-month project

i samo što sam završila veliki projekat koji je trajao 18 meseci

for Secretary Clinton, successfully,

za sekretarku Klinton, uspešno,

and I knew I could handle a bigger job.

i znala sam da mogu da uspešno rukovodim većim poslom.

The woman I thought I was

Ta žena za koju sam mislila da sam,

would have said yes.

rekla bi da.

But I had been commuting for two years

Ali putovala sam zbog posla dve godine.

between Washington and Princeton, New Jersey,

između Vašingtona i Prinstona u Nju Džerziju,

where my husband and my two teenage sons lived,

gde su živeli moj suprug i dvojica sinova tinejdžera,

and it was not going well.

i to nije išlo kako treba.

I tried on the idea of eking out another two years

Pokušala sam sa idejom da nadomestim druge dve godine

in Washington, or maybe uprooting my sons

u Vašingtonu ili možda da odvojim sinove od njihovih škola

from their school and my husband from his work

i muža od njegovog posla

and asking them to join me.

i da ih pitam da mi se pridruže.

But deep down, I knew

Ali duboko u sebi, znala sam

that the right decision was to go home,

da je ispravna odluka da se vratim kući,

even if I didn't fully recognize the woman

iako nisam u potpunosti prepoznala tu ženu

who was making that choice.

koja je tako odlučila.

That was a decision based on love

Ta odluka je bila zasnovana na ljubavi

and responsibility.

i odgovornosti.

I couldn't keep watching my oldest son

Nisam mogla da nastavim da gledam svog najstarijeg sina

make bad choices

kako donosi pogrešne odluke

without being able to be there for him

bez mogućnosti da budem tu za njega

when and if he needed me.

kada i ako sam mu potrebna.

But the real change came more gradually.

Ali prava promena je nastupila postepeno.

Over the next year,

Tokom naredne godine,

while my family was righting itself,

dok se moja porodica popravljala,

I started to realize

počela sam da shvatam

that even if I could go back into government,

da čak i ako bih mogla da se vratim da radim za vladu,

I didn't want to.

nisam to želela.

I didn't want to miss the last five years

Nisam želela da propustim poslednjih pet godina

that my sons were at home.

tokom kojih bi moji sinovi bili kod kuće.

I finally allowed myself to accept

Konačno sam dozvolila sebi da prihvatim

what was really most important to me,

šta je meni bilo najvažnije,

not what I was conditioned to want

ne ono što sam bila uslovljena da želim

or maybe what I conditioned myself to want,

ili možda što sam uslovila sebe da želim,

and that decision led to a reassessment

i ta odluka je vodila do ponovne procene

of the feminist narrative that I grew up with

tog feminističkog narativa uz koji sam odrasla

and have always championed.

i uvek predvodila.

I am still completely committed

I dalje sam u potpunosti posvećena

to the cause of male-female equality,

ideji muško-ženske ravnopravnosti,

but let's think about what that equality really means,

ali hajde da razmislimo o tome šta ta ravnopravnost zapravo znači,

and how best to achieve it.

i koji je najbolji način da se tako nešto postigne.

I always accepted the idea

Oduvek sam prihvatala ideju

that the most respected and powerful people

da su najpoštovaniji i najmoćniji ljudi

in our society are men at the top of their careers,

u našem društvu muškarci na vrhu svojih karijera,

so that the measure of male-female equality

tako da bi merilo muško-ženske jednakosti

ought to be how many women are in those positions:

trebalo da bude koliko žena ima na sledećim radnim mestima:

prime ministers, presidents, CEOs,

premijer, predsednik, generalni direktor,

directors, managers, Nobel laureates, leaders.

direktor, menadžer, nosilac Nobelove nagrade, vođa.

I still think we should do everything we possibly can

I dalje mislim da bi trebalo da učinimo sve što možemo

to achieve that goal.

da bismo postigli taj cilj.

But that's only half of real equality,

Ali to je samo jedna polovina stvarne ravnopravnosti,

and I now think we're never going to get there

i sada smatram da nikada nećemo uspeti

unless we recognize the other half.

ako ne uvidimo drugu polovinu.

I suggest that real equality,

Predlažem da prava ravnopravnost,

full equality,

potpuna ravnopravnost,

does not just mean valuing women

ne znači samo da procenjujemo žene

on male terms.

po muškim merilima.

It means creating a much wider range

To znači stvaranje mnogo šireg spektra

of equally respected choices

jednako poštovanih izbora

for women and for men.

za žene i za muškarce.

And to get there, we have to change our workplaces,

A da bismo to postigli, moramo da promenimo naše radno okruženje,

our policies and our culture.

politiku i kulturu.

In the workplace,

Na radnom mestu,

real equality means valuing family

prava ravnopravnost znači vrednovanje porodice

just as much as work,

isto koliko vrednujemo posao,

and understanding that the two reinforce each other.

i razumevanje da to dvoje podupire jedno drugo.

As a leader and as a manager,

Kao vođa i menadžer,

I have always acted on the mantra,

uvek sam verovala u to da

if family comes first,

ako je porodica na prvom mestu,

work does not come second --

posao nije na drugom -

life comes together.

život čine zajedno.

If you work for me, and you have a family issue,

Ako radiš za mene i imaš porodični problem,

I expect you to attend to it,

očekujem da ga rešiš,

and I am confident,

i ja sam samouverena,

and my confidence has always been borne out,

i moja samouverenost je uvek poticala,

that the work will get done, and done better.

da će posao biti urađen i da će biti urađen bolje.

Workers who have a reason to get home

Radnici koji imaju razlog da idu kući

to care for their children or their family members

da bi brinuli o deci ili članovima porodice

are more focused, more efficient,

su usredsređeniji, efikasniji,

more results-focused.

više usredsređeni na rezultate.

And breadwinners who are also caregivers

A hranitelj koji ujedno i neguje

have a much wider range

ima viši nivo

of experiences and contacts.

iskustva i kontakta.

Think about a lawyer who spends part of his time

Razmislite o advokatu koji provodi deo svog vremena

at school events for his kids

na školskim događajima sa decom

talking to other parents.

i priča sa drugim roditeljima.

He's much more likely to bring in

Verovatno je da će privući

new clients for his firm

nove klijente za firmu

than a lawyer who never leaves his office.

nego neki advokat koji nikada ne napušta kancelariju.

And caregiving itself

A nega sama po sebi

develops patience --

razvija strpljenje -

a lot of patience --

dosta strpljenja -

and empathy, creativity, resilience, adaptability.

i empatiju, kreativnost, otpornost, prilagodljivost.

Those are all attributes that are ever more important

Ovi svi pridevi su čak i važniji

in a high-speed, horizontal,

u ubrzanoj, horizontalnoj,

networked global economy.

umreženoj svetskoj ekonomiji.

The best companies actually know this.

Najbolja preduzeća ovo zapravo znaju.

The companies that win awards

Preduzeća koja osvajaju nagrade

for workplace flexibility in the United States

za prilagodljivost radnog okruženja u SAD-u

include some of our most successful corporations,

uključuju neke od naših najuspešnijih korporacija,

and a 2008 national study

a nacionalno istraživanje iz 2008.

on the changing workforce

o promeni radne snage

showed that employees

pokazalo je da su zaposleni

in flexible and effective workplaces

na prilagodljivim i efikasnim radnim mestima

are more engaged with their work,

privrženiji poslu,

they're more satisfied and more loyal,

zadovoljniji su i verniji,

they have lower levels of stress

imaju niži nivo stresa

and higher levels of mental health.

i viši nivo mentalnog zdravlja.

And a 2012 study of employers

A istraživanje o poslodavcima iz 2012. godine

showed that deep, flexible practices

pokazalo je da su duboke, fleksibilne prakse

actually lowered operating costs

zapravo smanjile operativne troškove

and increased adaptability

i povećale prilagodljivost

in a global service economy.

u globalnoj uslužnoj ekonomiji.

So you may think

Stoga možda mislite

that the privileging of work over family

da je stavljanje posla ispred porodice

is only an American problem.

zapravo samo američki problem.

Sadly, though, the obsession with work

Ipak nažalost, opsesija poslom

is no longer a uniquely American disease.

nije više bolest od koje pati samo Amerika

Twenty years ago,

Pre dvadeset godina,

when my family first started going to Italy,

kada je moja porodica prvi put išla u Italiju,

we used to luxuriate in the culture of siesta.

imali smo naviku da uživamo u kulturi popodnevnog odmora.

Siesta is not just about avoiding the heat of the day.

Taj odmor nije tu samo da se izbegne najveća vrućina u toku dana.

It's actually just as much

Zapravo predstavlja isto toliko

about embracing the warmth of a family lunch.

i uživanje u toplini porodičnog ručka.

Now, when we go, fewer and fewer businesses

Kada sada odemo, sve manje i manje kompanija

close for siesta,

se zatvara zbog popodnevnog odmora,

reflecting the advance of global corporations

što oslikava napredak svetskih korporacija

and 24-hour competition.

i 24-časovnog nadmetanja.

So making a place for those we love

Stoga je stvaranje mesta za one koje volimo

is actually a global imperative.

zapravo svetski imperativ.

In policy terms,

U smislu politike,

real equality means recognizing

prava ravnopravnost znači razumevanje

that the work that women have traditionally done

da je posao koji su žene tradicionalno obavljale

is just as important

podjednako važan

as the work that men have traditionally done,

kao i posao koji su muškarci tradicionalno obavljali,

no matter who does it.

nije važno ko ga obavlja.

Think about it: Breadwinning and caregiving

Razmislite o tome: zarađivanje i briga za porodicu

are equally necessary for human survival.

su podjednako neophodni da bi čovek preživeo.

At least if we get beyond a barter economy,

Barem ako idemo dalje od ekonomije razmene,

somebody has to earn an income

neko mora da zaradi prihod,

and someone else has to convert that income

a neko drugi mora da taj prihod pretvori

to care and sustenance for loved ones.

u brigu i hranu za one koje volimo.

Now most of you, when you hear me

Većina vas, kada me čujete

talk about breadwinning and caregiving,

kako pričam o zaradi i brizi,

instinctively translate those categories

po instinktu prevodite ove kategorije

into men's work and women's work.

u muški i ženski posao.

And we don't typically challenge

A obično ne izazivamo to

why men's work is advantaged.

zašto je muški posao u prednosti.

But consider a same-sex couple

Ali ako razmislimo o istopolnom paru

like my friends Sarah and Emily.

kao što su moji prijatelji, Sara i Emili.

They're psychiatrists.

Obe su psihijatri.

They got married five years ago,

Venčale su se pre pet godina,

and now they have two-year-old twins.

i sada imaju dvogodišnje blizance.

They love being mothers,

Vole što su majke,

but they also love their work,

ali takođe vole i posao koji rade.

and they're really good at what they do.

i zaista su dobre u tome što rade.

So how are they going to divide up

Kako će njih dve onda da podele

breadwinning and caregiving responsibilities?

odgovornost o zarađivanju i brizi?

Should one of them stop working

Da li bi jedna od njih trebalo da prestane da radi

or reduce hours to be home?

ili da smanji radno vreme da bi bila kod kuće?

Or should they both change their practices

Ili bi obe trebalo da promene posao

so they can have much more flexible schedules?

da bi imale mnogo prilagodljivije rasporede?

And what criteria should they use

I kojim kriterijumom bi trebalo da budu vođene

to make that decision?

da bi donele odluku?

Is it who makes the most money

Da li je ona osoba koja donosi najviše novca

or who is most committed to her career?

ili ona koja je privrženija karijeri?

Or who has the most flexible boss?

Ili ona koja ima fleksibilnijeg šefa?

The same-sex perspective helps us see

Perspektiva o istopolnom paru nam pomaže da uvidimo

that juggling work and family

da balansiranje posla i porodice

are not women's problems,

nisu ženski problemi,

they're family problems.

to su porodični problemi.

And Sarah and Emily are the lucky ones,

I Sara i Emili su među srećnicima,

because they have a choice

zato što imaju izbor

about how much they want to work.

koliko žele da rade.

Millions of men and women

Milioni muškaraca i žena

have to be both breadwinners and caregivers

moraju da budu istovremeno i oni koji zarađuju i oni koji brinu

just to earn the income they need,

samo da bi zaradili prihod koji im treba

and many of those workers are scrambling.

a mnogi od ovih radnika se koprcaju.

They're patching together care arrangements

Na brzinu izmišljaju aranžmane o brizi

that are inadequate

koji su neodgovarajući

and often actually unsafe.

i često zapravo nebezbedni.

If breadwinning and caregiving are really equal,

Da su zarada i briga stvarno ravnopravni,

then why shouldn't a government

zašto onda ne bi vlada

invest as much in an infrastructure of care

investirala podjednako u infrastrukturu o brizi,

as the foundation of a healthy society

kao temelj za zdravo društvo,

as it invests in physical infrastructure

koliko investira u fizičku infrastrukturu

as the backbone of a successful economy?

kao osnovu uspešne privrede?

The governments that get it --

Vlade koje to shvataju -

no surprises here --

ovde nema iznenađenja -

the governments that get it,

vlade koje to shvataju,

Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the Netherlands,

Norveška, Švedska, Danska, Holandija

provide universal child care,

obezbeđuju univerzalnu brigu za decu,

support for caregivers at home,

podršku za one koji neguju kod kuće,

school and early childhood education,

škole i obrazovanje od ranog detinjstva,

protections for pregnant women,

zaštitu trudnica

and care for the elderly and the disabled.

i brigu za stare i invalide.

Those governments invest in that infrastructure

Ove vlade investiraju u takvu infrastrukturu

the same way they invest in roads and bridges

isto koliko investiraju u puteve i mostove

and tunnels and trains.

tunele i vozove.

Those societies also show you

Takva društva će takođe pokazati

that breadwinning and caregiving

da donošenje prihoda kao i briga

reinforce each other.

podupiru jedno drugo.

They routinely rank among the top 15 countries

Oni se rutinski rangiraju između 15 najboljih država

of the most globally competitive economies,

sa najkompetitivnijim privredama na svetskom nivou,

but at the same time,

ali istovremeno

they rank very high on the OECD Better Life Index.

rangiraju se visoko na OECD indeksu "Bolji život".

In fact, they rank higher than other governments,

Zapravo, rangiraju se više nego druge vlade,

like my own, the U.S., or Switzerland,

kao recimo moja, američka ili švajcarska,

that have higher average levels of income

koje imaju više prosečne nivoe prihoda

but lower rankings on work-life balance.

ali niži rang na balansu posla i života.

So changing our workplaces

Stoga menjanje naših radnih mesta

and building infrastructures of care

i izgrađivanje infrastrukture za brigu

would make a big difference,

napravilo bi veliku razliku,

but we're not going to get equally valued choices

ali nećemo ravnopravno vrednovati izbore

unless we change our culture,

ako ne promenimo našu kulturu,

and the kind of cultural change required

i vrsta kulturne promene koja je neophodna

means re-socializing men.

podrazumeva resocijalizaciju muškaraca.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Increasingly in developed countries,

Sve više i više u razvijenim državama,

women are socialized to believe that our place

žene su podržane da veruju da naše mesto

is no longer only in the home,

nije više samo kod kuće,

but men are actually still where they always were.

ali muškarci su još uvek na istom mestu gde su uvek bili.

Men are still socialized to believe

Muškarci su još uvek podržani da veruju

that they have to be breadwinners,

da oni moraju da budu oni koji hrane porodicu,

that to derive their self-worth

da osećaj sopstvene vrednosti dobijaju

from how high they can climb over other men

iz toga koliko mogu da se uzdignu iznad drugih muškaraca

on a career ladder.

na merdevinama karijere.

The feminist revolution still has a long way to go.

Feministička revolucija mora da pređe još dug put.

It's certainly not complete.

Svakako nije završena.

But 60 years after

Ali 60 godina nakon što je

"The Feminine Mystique" was published,

objavljena knjiga "Ženska mistika",

many women actually have

mnoge žene zapravo imaju

more choices than men do.

više izbora od muškaraca.

We can decide to be a breadwinner,

Mi možemo da odlučimo da budemo one koje će donositi prihod

a caregiver, or any combination of the two.

ili pružati negu, ili bilo koja kombinacija ta dva.

When a man, on the other hand,

Kada muškarac, sa druge strane,

decides to be a caregiver,

odluči da brine o porodici,

he puts his manhood on the line.

dovodi svoju muškost u pitanje.

His friends may praise his decision,

Njegovi prijatelji će možda podržavati njegovu odluku,

but underneath, they're scratching their heads.

ali zapravo, češkaju se po glavama.

Isn't the measure of a man

Zar nije vrednost muškarca

his willingness to compete with other men

njegova volja da se takmiči sa drugim muškarcima

for power and prestige?

za moć i prestiž?

And as many women hold that view as men do.

Taj stav ima jednak broj žena kao i muškaraca.

We know that lots of women

Znamo da mnogo žena

still judge the attractiveness of a man

još uvek sudi o privlačnosti muškarca

based in large part on how successful he is

u velikoj meri na osnovu njegovog uspeha

in his career.

u karijeri.

A woman can drop out of the work force

Žena može da napusti radno mesto

and still be an attractive partner.

i dalje će biti privlačna partneru.

For a man, that's a risky proposition.

Za muškarca, to je rizičan potez.

So as parents and partners,

Stoga, kao roditelji i partneri

we should be socializing our sons

trebalo bi da socijalizujemo naše sinove

and our husbands

i naše muževe

to be whatever they want to be,

da budu šta god oni žele

either caregivers or breadwinners.

bilo oni koji brinu, bilo oni koji zarađuju.

We should be socializing them to make caregiving

Trebalo bi da ih socijalizujemo tako

cool for guys.

da im briga bude zanimljiva.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

I can almost hear lots of you thinking, "No way."

Skoro da mogu da čujem mnoge od vas kako razmišljate: "Nema šanse."

But in fact, the change is actually already happening.

Ali zapravo, promena se već događa.

At least in the United States,

Bar u Americi

mnogi muškarci se ponose što kuvaju

lots of men take pride in cooking,

and frankly obsess over stoves.

i potpuno su opsednuti šporetima.

They are in the birthing rooms.

Oni su i u porođajnim salama.

They take paternity leave when they can.

Uzimaju roditeljska odsustva kad god mogu.

They can walk a baby or soothe a toddler

Vode bebu u šetnju ili smiruju dvogodišnjaka

just as well as their wives can,

podjednako dobro kao i njihove žene,

and they are increasingly

i sve veći broj njih

doing much more of the housework.

radi kućne poslove.

Indeed, there are male college students now

Zaista, sada postoji mnogo muškaraca na fakultetu

who are starting to say,

koji počinju da kažu:

"I want to be a stay-at-home dad."

"Želim da brinem o porodici iz kuće."

That was completely unthinkable

To je bilo u potpunosti nezamislivo

50 or even 30 years ago.

pre 50 ili čak 30 godina.

And in Norway, where men have

U Norveškoj, gde muškarci imaju odmah

an automatic three month's paternity leave,

tromesečno roditeljsko odsustvo

but they lose it if they decide not to take it,

ali ga gube, ako odluče da ga ne uzmu,

a high government official told me

visoki vladin zvaničnik mi je rekao

that companies are starting to look

da kompanije počinju da traže

at prospective male employees

muškarce - buduće očeve kao zaposlene

and raise an eyebrow if they didn't in fact

i postaju sumnjičavi ako oni nisu

take their leave when they had kids.

uzeli odsustvo dok su imali decu.

That means that it's starting to seem

To znači da počinje da se čini

like a character defect

kao mana ličnosti

ako ne želite da budete potpuno angažovani otac.

not to want to be a fully engaged father.

So I was raised

Pa, ja sam odgajana

to believe that championing women's rights

da verujem da predvođenje u ženskim pravima

meant doing everything we could

znači da radimo sve što možemo

to get women to the top.

da dovedemo žene do vrha.

And I still hope that I live long enough

I još uvek se nadam da ću poživeti dovoljno dugo

to see men and women equally represented

da vidim muškarce i žene podjednako predstavljene

at all levels of the work force.

u svim nivoima radne snage.

But I've come to believe that we have to value family

Ali došla sam do uverenja da moramo da vrednujemo porodicu

every bit as much as we value work,

podjednako koliko vrednujemo posao,

and that we should entertain the idea

i da bi trebalo da zastupamo ideju

that doing right by those we love

da ako radimo ispravne stvari za one koje volimo,

will make all of us better at everything we do.

to će nas učiniti boljim u svemu što radimo.

Pre trideset godina, Kerol Giligen,

Thirty years ago, Carol Gilligan,

a wonderful psychologist, studied adolescent girls

predivni psiholog, proučavala je adolescentkinje

and identified an ethic of care,

i otkrila etiku o brizi,

an element of human nature every bit as important

element ljudske prirode podjednako važan

as the ethic of justice.

kao i etika pravde.

It turns out that "you don't care"

Ispostavlja se da je "tebi nije stalo"

is just as much a part of who we are

podjednako deo onoga ko smo

as "that's not fair."

kao i "to nije pošteno."

Bill Gates agrees.

Bil Gejts se slaže.

He argues that the two great forces of human nature

On tvrdi da su dve velike sile ljudske prirode

are self-interest and caring for others.

samointeres i briga za druge.

Hajde da ih udružimo.

Let's bring them both together.

Let's make the feminist revolution

Hajde da učinimo feminističku revoluciju

a humanist revolution.

ljudskom revolucijom.

As whole human beings,

Kao celokupna ljudska bića,

we will be better caregivers and breadwinners.

bićemo bolji staratelji i hranitelji.

You may think that can't happen,

Možda mislite da se to neće dogoditi,

but I grew up in a society

ali ja sam odrasla u društvu

where my mother put out small vases

gde je moja majka vadila male vaze

of cigarettes for dinner parties,

sa cigaretama na večernjim zabavama,

where blacks and whites used separate bathrooms,

gde su crnci i belci koristili odvojena kupatila,

and where everybody claimed to be heterosexual.

i gde su svi tvrdili da su heteroseksualci.

Today, not so much.

Danas, nije tako.

Revolucija ljudske ravnopravnosti

The revolution for human equality

can happen.

može da se dogodi.

It is happening.

Događa se.

It will happen.

I dogodiće se.

How far and how fast is up to us.

Do koje mere i koliko brzo, zavisi od nas.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)