Anne-Marie Slaughter: Can we all "have it all"?

翻译人员: SiYan Yao 校对人员: Shiwen He

So my moment of truth

其实我人生的几个关键拐点

did not come all at once.

都不是一下子来临的。

In 2010, I had the chance to be considered

2010年，我有个被考虑的机会，

for promotion from my job

从原来的职位提升为

as director of policy planning

美国国务院的

at the U.S. State Department.

政策规划负责人。

This was my moment to lean in,

这正是我倚身向前，

to push myself forward

推动自己前进的时刻。

for what are really only a handful

（尤其是）面对只有凤毛麟角的

of the very top foreign policy jobs,

最高层外交政策的工作。

and I had just finished a big, 18-month project

而我也刚好为国务卿希拉里·克林顿 成功地完成了

for Secretary Clinton, successfully,

一个长达18个月的大项目。

and I knew I could handle a bigger job.

我知道我能担此重任。

The woman I thought I was

我所知道的那个我

would have said yes.

会欣然接受这个机会。

But I had been commuting for two years

然而，我的丈夫和两个十几岁的儿子

between Washington and Princeton, New Jersey,

居住在新泽西州的普林斯顿市，我已经

where my husband and my two teenage sons lived,

在华盛顿特区和普林斯顿之间 来回奔波了两年。

and it was not going well.

这种状态并不尽如人意。

I tried on the idea of eking out another two years

我想着在华盛顿再勉强坚持工作两年，

in Washington, or maybe uprooting my sons

也许我能让我的儿子们转学，

from their school and my husband from his work

并让我的丈夫来华盛顿工作，

and asking them to join me.

让他们和我一起生活。

But deep down, I knew

但是，在我的内心深处，我知道

that the right decision was to go home,

我应该选择回家，

even if I didn't fully recognize the woman

即使我不再完全认识

who was making that choice.

那个下此决定的我。

That was a decision based on love

那是一个基于爱

and responsibility.

和责任的决定。

I couldn't keep watching my oldest son

我无法看着我的大儿子

make bad choices

在最需要我意见的时候，

without being able to be there for him

而我却无法伴其左右，

when and if he needed me.

而做出错误的选择。

But the real change came more gradually.

但是，真正的改变是慢慢显现的。

Over the next year,

之后的一年，

while my family was righting itself,

当我的家庭恢复原样后，

I started to realize

我开始发现

that even if I could go back into government,

即使我有机会再回政府工作，

I didn't want to.

我也不愿意了。

I didn't want to miss the last five years

我不愿意失去最后五年

that my sons were at home.

与我的儿子在家相处的时光。

I finally allowed myself to accept

我最终说服了自己

what was really most important to me,

去接受对我最重要的东西，

not what I was conditioned to want

那并不是我习以为常的目标，

or maybe what I conditioned myself to want,

或是我自我定义的目标。

and that decision led to a reassessment

而那个决定也导致我重新审视

of the feminist narrative that I grew up with

那个自小伴我成长并且我始终捍卫的

and have always championed.

女权主义的故事。

I am still completely committed

我依旧全身心投入于

to the cause of male-female equality,

争取男女平等的事业，

but let's think about what that equality really means,

但让我们思考一下平等真正的含义，

and how best to achieve it.

以及如何能最好地实现它。

I always accepted the idea

我总是认为，

that the most respected and powerful people

在我们社会中最受尊敬和最强大的人

in our society are men at the top of their careers,

是那些站在各种职业顶端的男人们，

so that the measure of male-female equality

所以对于男女平等的计量

ought to be how many women are in those positions:

应该是女性在那些职位中所占的数量。

prime ministers, presidents, CEOs,

（比如）首相，总统，首席执行官，

directors, managers, Nobel laureates, leaders.

总监，经理，诺贝尔奖获奖者，领导者们。

I still think we should do everything we possibly can

我也始终坚信，我们应该尽我们所能

to achieve that goal.

去实现那样的目标。

But that's only half of real equality,

然而，这只是真正平等的一半。

and I now think we're never going to get there

我现在则认为，我们将永远无法实现它，

unless we recognize the other half.

除非我们意识到那另一半是什么。

I suggest that real equality,

我认为真正的、

full equality,

完全的平等，

does not just mean valuing women

不是只用男人的准则

on male terms.

去衡量女性的价值。

It means creating a much wider range

它意味着为女性和男性

of equally respected choices

共同提供更广泛的、

for women and for men.

受到同等尊重的选择。

And to get there, we have to change our workplaces,

为了实现这个目标， 我们必须改变我们的工作场所、

our policies and our culture.

政策方针和文化。

In the workplace,

在职场中，

real equality means valuing family

真正的平等是对家庭

just as much as work,

和工作给予同样的价值衡量，

and understanding that the two reinforce each other.

并懂得两者是相辅相成的。

As a leader and as a manager,

作为一名领导者以及管理者，

I have always acted on the mantra,

我总是言行合一。

if family comes first,

如果家庭是第一位，

work does not come second --

那工作就不是第二位。

life comes together.

生活是齐头并进的。

If you work for me, and you have a family issue,

如果你为我效力， 而又需要解决家庭问题时，

I expect you to attend to it,

我希望你去处理它。

and I am confident,

同时，我有信心，

and my confidence has always been borne out,

而我的这种信心 总是一再被证明是对的，

that the work will get done, and done better.

那就是他们不仅会完成自己的工作， 并且做得更出色。

Workers who have a reason to get home

那些提出需要回家照顾孩子

to care for their children or their family members

或者其他家人的员工们，

are more focused, more efficient,

（在工作上）更专注，更有效率，

more results-focused.

并且更加注重结果。

And breadwinners who are also caregivers

而且那些既要养家糊口、 又要照料家庭的人，

have a much wider range

会有更丰富的经验

of experiences and contacts.

和交际圈。

Think about a lawyer who spends part of his time

试想一个律师，他用一部分时间

at school events for his kids

参加他孩子的学校活动，

talking to other parents.

与其他家长交谈。

He's much more likely to bring in

与一个足不出户的律师相比，

new clients for his firm

他更有可能为他的事务所

than a lawyer who never leaves his office.

引入新的客户。

And caregiving itself

另外，照料家庭本身

develops patience --

能培养耐心－

a lot of patience --

（而且是）很多的耐心－

and empathy, creativity, resilience, adaptability.

以及同情心，创造力，恢复力，适应力。

Those are all attributes that are ever more important

而所有这些特征已然显得更为重要，

in a high-speed, horizontal,

尤其是在一个高速（运转）、横向化、

networked global economy.

网络化的全球经济体中。

The best companies actually know this.

而最优秀的公司恰恰了解到了这点。

The companies that win awards

那些在美国以（提供）

for workplace flexibility in the United States

弹性工作场所著称的公司中，

include some of our most successful corporations,

有不少是我们最成功的公司。

and a 2008 national study

而一项2008年关于

on the changing workforce

美国劳动力变化的报告

showed that employees

也显示，员工

in flexible and effective workplaces

在有弹性和有效的工作场所中，

are more engaged with their work,

更愿意全情投入他们的工作，

they're more satisfied and more loyal,

他们会更满足和更忠心，

they have lower levels of stress

他们的压力水平相对较低，

and higher levels of mental health.

而精神健康水平则相对较高。

And a 2012 study of employers

另一项2012年关于雇主的研究

showed that deep, flexible practices

进一步显示，灵活的操作

actually lowered operating costs

实际上降低了（公司的）经营成本，

and increased adaptability

并加强了（公司的）适应能力，

in a global service economy.

（尤其是）在全球服务经济下。

So you may think

所以你可能会想，

that the privileging of work over family

将工作先于家庭的理念

is only an American problem.

仅仅只是我们美国人的问题。

Sadly, though, the obsession with work

不过遗憾的是，沉迷于工作

is no longer a uniquely American disease.

已不再是一种美国独有的病态现象。

Twenty years ago,

二十年前，

when my family first started going to Italy,

我们一家第一次去意大利时，

we used to luxuriate in the culture of siesta.

我们尽情享受了那里的午休文化。

Siesta is not just about avoiding the heat of the day.

午休不仅仅只是为了避开一天中炎热的时间，

It's actually just as much

它其实恰恰

about embracing the warmth of a family lunch.

包含了享受一顿温暖的家庭午餐。

Now, when we go, fewer and fewer businesses

现在，当我们再去意大利， 越来越少的公司

close for siesta,

会为了午休而暂停营业，

reflecting the advance of global corporations

这反应出了全球企业的推进

and 24-hour competition.

以及24小时化的竞争。

So making a place for those we love

因此，为我们所爱的人留出空间

is actually a global imperative.

实际上是一种全球性使命。

In policy terms,

在政策方面，

real equality means recognizing

真正的平等意味着承认

that the work that women have traditionally done

那些传统意义上女性所从事的工作，

is just as important

其重要性等同于

as the work that men have traditionally done,

那些传统意义上男性们从事的工作，

no matter who does it.

无论是谁在从事它。

Think about it: Breadwinning and caregiving

思考一下，养家糊口和照料家庭

are equally necessary for human survival.

都是人类生存所必需的。

At least if we get beyond a barter economy,

至少，一旦我们超越了以物换物的经济模式，

somebody has to earn an income

总得有人赚取收入，

and someone else has to convert that income

另外得有人将那些收入转化为

to care and sustenance for loved ones.

照料和维持家人的生计。

Now most of you, when you hear me

而现在，当你们大部分的人在听我

talk about breadwinning and caregiving,

讨论关于养家糊口和照料家庭的时候，

instinctively translate those categories

你们本能地将这两类工作

into men's work and women's work.

分别理解为男人的工作和女人的工作。

And we don't typically challenge

另外，我们通常也不会质疑

why men's work is advantaged.

为什么男性的工作显得更得天独厚。

But consider a same-sex couple

然而，想像一下一对同性伴侣，

like my friends Sarah and Emily.

比如我的朋友萨拉和艾米丽。

They're psychiatrists.

她们是精神科医生。

They got married five years ago,

她们5年前结婚，

and now they have two-year-old twins.

现在有一对两岁的双胞胎。

They love being mothers,

她们热爱作为母亲的角色，

but they also love their work,

但她们也热爱自己从事的工作，

and they're really good at what they do.

而且她们在工作上确实很出色。

So how are they going to divide up

那她们将如何分配

breadwinning and caregiving responsibilities?

养家糊口和照料家庭的职责呢？

Should one of them stop working

她们中的一位是否应该不工作

or reduce hours to be home?

或者减少工作时间呆在家里？

Or should they both change their practices

又或者她们应该同时更换工作？

so they can have much more flexible schedules?

这样她们就能有更多灵活的时间了？

And what criteria should they use

她们应该依据怎样的标准

to make that decision?

来做决定呢？

Is it who makes the most money

是谁赚的钱更多？

or who is most committed to her career?

还是谁的事业心更重呢？

Or who has the most flexible boss?

抑或是谁的老板更变通呢？

The same-sex perspective helps us see

同性伴侣的案例让我们了解到，

that juggling work and family

同时工作并照顾家庭

are not women's problems,

并不是女性的矛盾，

they're family problems.

而是家庭的矛盾。

And Sarah and Emily are the lucky ones,

萨拉和艾米丽是幸运的，

because they have a choice

因为她们可以选择

about how much they want to work.

她们的工作时长。

Millions of men and women

数以百万的男女

have to be both breadwinners and caregivers

既要养家糊口又得照料家庭，

just to earn the income they need,

只为赚取赖以生计的收入，

and many of those workers are scrambling.

很多人只能勉强度日。

They're patching together care arrangements

他们相互拼凑时间来照料家庭，

that are inadequate

而这是不够的，

and often actually unsafe.

并且往往是不安全的。

If breadwinning and caregiving are really equal,

如果养家糊口和照料家庭是真正一致的，

then why shouldn't a government

那为什么政府

invest as much in an infrastructure of care

没有向作为健康社会为根基的

as the foundation of a healthy society

福利基础设施方面进行投资？

as it invests in physical infrastructure

就像往作为成功经济为支柱的

as the backbone of a successful economy?

物质基础设施方面，进行一样多的投入？

The governments that get it --

有些政府意识到了－

no surprises here --

毫无疑问－

the governments that get it,

那些意识到这点的政府

Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the Netherlands,

像挪威、瑞典、丹麦和荷兰。

provide universal child care,

他们提供广泛的儿童福利保障，

support for caregivers at home,

为在家的照料家庭的一方提供资助，

school and early childhood education,

提供学校和儿童时期的学前早教，

protections for pregnant women,

为怀孕期妇女提供保障，

and care for the elderly and the disabled.

并且为老年人和残疾人提供护理。

Those governments invest in that infrastructure

这些政府在那些基础设施方面的投资

the same way they invest in roads and bridges

与他们在道路、桥梁、

and tunnels and trains.

隧道和铁路等（基础设施）方面的投资一致。

Those societies also show you

这些社会同时也证明

that breadwinning and caregiving

养家糊口和照料家庭

reinforce each other.

是相辅相成的。

They routinely rank among the top 15 countries

这些国家常年排在全球

of the most globally competitive economies,

最具竞争力的经济体中的前15名，

but at the same time,

但与此同时，

they rank very high on the OECD Better Life Index.

他们在经济合作和发展组织（OECD）的 “美好生活指数”排名中也名列前茅。

In fact, they rank higher than other governments,

事实上，他们比其他一些国家的排位要更高，

like my own, the U.S., or Switzerland,

比如像我的国家，美国或瑞士，

that have higher average levels of income

这些国家有较高平均收入水平，

but lower rankings on work-life balance.

但较低“事业-生活”平衡水平。

So changing our workplaces

所以，改变我们的工作场所，

and building infrastructures of care

并建立福利保障基础设施

would make a big difference,

将会大有不同，

but we're not going to get equally valued choices

但我们还是无法获得同等价值的选择，

unless we change our culture,

除非我们改变我们的文化，

and the kind of cultural change required

而这种文化变革上的诉求

means re-socializing men.

意味着要对人重新社会化。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Increasingly in developed countries,

在越来越多的发达国家，

women are socialized to believe that our place

社会的认知使女性相信，

is no longer only in the home,

我们的舞台不再仅仅局限在家中，

but men are actually still where they always were.

但男性事实上仍然留在他们原来的位置。

Men are still socialized to believe

社会的认知让他们依旧坚信，

that they have to be breadwinners,

他们必须成为养家糊口的人，

that to derive their self-worth

这种认识使他们

from how high they can climb over other men

通过在职业生涯中超越其他男性

on a career ladder.

来获得自尊。

The feminist revolution still has a long way to go.

女权主义的革命道路仍然长路漫漫。

It's certainly not complete.

她肯定还没有完成。

But 60 years after

然而，

"The Feminine Mystique" was published,

在《女性的奥秘》出版60年后，

many women actually have

许多女性实际上获得了

more choices than men do.

比男性更多的选择。

We can decide to be a breadwinner,

我们可以选择养家糊口，

a caregiver, or any combination of the two.

照料家庭，亦或者兼而为之。

When a man, on the other hand,

但另一方面，当一位男性

decides to be a caregiver,

选择照料家庭，

he puts his manhood on the line.

他就把自己的男子气概放在了悬崖边。

His friends may praise his decision,

他的朋友们可能会称赞他的决定，

but underneath, they're scratching their heads.

但他们心底一定快抓狂了。

Isn't the measure of a man

难道衡量一个男人的价值，

his willingness to compete with other men

不就是看他为了权力和声望

for power and prestige?

去与其他男人竞争的雄心壮志么？

And as many women hold that view as men do.

而且持有这种观点的女性 和男性同样多。

We know that lots of women

我们知道许多女性

still judge the attractiveness of a man

在判断一位男性是否有魅力时，

based in large part on how successful he is

仍然将其事业上有多成功

in his career.

作为绝大部分的衡量基础。

A woman can drop out of the work force

一位离开了职场的女性

and still be an attractive partner.

仍然可以成为一个有魅力的伴侣。

For a man, that's a risky proposition.

但如果是男人，那会是个有风险的提议。

So as parents and partners,

所以作为家长和妻子，

we should be socializing our sons

我们应该让我们的儿子和丈夫

and our husbands

在认识和适应社会的过程中，

to be whatever they want to be,

选择他们想要扮演的角色，

either caregivers or breadwinners.

无论是照料家庭还是赚钱养家。

We should be socializing them to make caregiving

我们应该让他们认识到，男人照料家庭

cool for guys.

是一件很棒的事情。

(Applause)

（掌声）

I can almost hear lots of you thinking, "No way."

我几乎可以听到你们很多人 心里在想，“没门儿”。

But in fact, the change is actually already happening.

但事实上，这种改变已经在发生。

At least in the United States,

至少在美国，

lots of men take pride in cooking,

许多男人对于自己烹饪引以为傲，

and frankly obsess over stoves.

并坦诚自己热衷于此。

They are in the birthing rooms.

他们会呆在产房里、

They take paternity leave when they can.

然后尽可能的休育婴假。

They can walk a baby or soothe a toddler

他们会自己带着小婴儿， 或牵着刚学步的小孩散步，

just as well as their wives can,

就和他们的妻子干得一样出色，

and they are increasingly

而且他们包揽

doing much more of the housework.

越来越多的家务活。

Indeed, there are male college students now

事实上，现在有些男性大学生

who are starting to say,

开始说：

"I want to be a stay-at-home dad."

“我要做一个全职爸爸。”

That was completely unthinkable

这在50年前甚至30年前

50 or even 30 years ago.

完全是难以置信的。

And in Norway, where men have

在挪威，那里的男性

an automatic three month's paternity leave,

自动享受为期三个月的育婴假，

but they lose it if they decide not to take it,

但如果他们选择不使用育婴假， 那这个假期就没有了。

a high government official told me

一位政府的高层官员告诉我，

that companies are starting to look

现在一些公司开始从这个角度来判断

at prospective male employees

他们男性员工的未来，

and raise an eyebrow if they didn't in fact

并且会不满地竖起眉毛，如果

take their leave when they had kids.

在孩子出生时，他们没有使用育婴假。

That means that it's starting to seem

这就意味着这似乎开始成为

like a character defect

一种负面的品质，

not to want to be a fully engaged father.

（让人认为）此人是位不称职的父亲。

So I was raised

我从小到大

to believe that championing women's rights

相信保卫女性权利

meant doing everything we could

就是尽我们一切所能

to get women to the top.

让女性站在巅峰。

And I still hope that I live long enough

而我仍然希望我能活着看到，

to see men and women equally represented

所有阶级的劳动力

at all levels of the work force.

都实现男女平等的一天。

But I've come to believe that we have to value family

但是我开始相信， 我们必须珍惜我们家庭的

every bit as much as we value work,

一点一滴， 就如同我们重视我们的工作一样。

and that we should entertain the idea

而且我们应该思考并明白，

that doing right by those we love

好好对待我们所爱的人

will make all of us better at everything we do.

会让我们在做其他任何事情上更出色。

Thirty years ago, Carol Gilligan,

30年前，卡罗尔.吉利根（Carol Gilligan），

a wonderful psychologist, studied adolescent girls

一位出色的心理学家，她通过研究青春期少女

and identified an ethic of care,

确认了关怀伦理

an element of human nature every bit as important

作为一种人性本质，

as the ethic of justice.

与正义伦理同样重要。

It turns out that "you don't care"

这就派生出“你不关心”

is just as much a part of who we are

在我们部分的观念中，

as "that's not fair."

与“那不公平”是一样的。

Bill Gates agrees.

比尔.盖茨（Bill Gates）表示同意。

He argues that the two great forces of human nature

他认为人性中两股伟大的力量

are self-interest and caring for others.

是利己和关爱他人。

Let's bring them both together.

那就让我们将两者放在一起。

Let's make the feminist revolution

让我们把女权主义革命变成

a humanist revolution.

人道主义革命。

As whole human beings,

对所有人类来说，

we will be better caregivers and breadwinners.

我们能更好地照料家庭和养家糊口。

You may think that can't happen,

你可能会认为这不可能发生，

but I grew up in a society

但我在这样一个社会长大：

where my mother put out small vases

我的母亲会为了晚餐聚会

of cigarettes for dinner parties,

摆上小型烟雾化器，

where blacks and whites used separate bathrooms,

黑人和白人用分开的卫生间，

and where everybody claimed to be heterosexual.

每个人都声称自己是异性恋。

Today, not so much.

而现在，（这些）都不再普遍。

The revolution for human equality

为争取人类平等的革命

can happen.

会发生的。

It is happening.

事实上，它正在发生着。

It will happen.

它比将发生。

How far and how fast is up to us.

到什么程度以及会有多快 都取决于我们自己。

Thank you.

谢谢大家。

(Applause)

（掌声）