Anne-Marie Slaughter: Can we all "have it all"?

Translator: Metka Hercog Reviewer: Klavdija Cernilogar

So my moment of truth

Moj trenutek resnice

did not come all at once.

ni prišel v enem kosu.

In 2010, I had the chance to be considered

Leta 2010 sem imela priložnost

for promotion from my job

za napredovanje v službi

as director of policy planning

kot direktorica načrtovanja politik

at the U.S. State Department.

pri ameriškem Ministrstvu za zunanje zadeve.

This was my moment to lean in,

To je bil moj trenutek, da se nagnem naprej,

to push myself forward

da stisnem,

for what are really only a handful

za eno od peščice

of the very top foreign policy jobs,

najvišjih služb v zunanji politiki.

and I had just finished a big, 18-month project

In takrat sem ravno končala velik 18-mesečni projekt

for Secretary Clinton, successfully,

za državno sekretarko Clintonovo, uspešno,

and I knew I could handle a bigger job.

in vedela sem, da zmorem večji zalogaj.

The woman I thought I was

Ženska, za katero sem se imela,

would have said yes.

bi rekla ja.

But I had been commuting for two years

Ampak že dve leti sem se vozila v službo

between Washington and Princeton, New Jersey,

med Washingtonom in Princetonom v New Jerseyu,

where my husband and my two teenage sons lived,

kjer so živeli moj mož in dva najstniška sinova,

and it was not going well.

in ni šlo dobro.

I tried on the idea of eking out another two years

Pomislila sem, da bi stisnila še dve leti

in Washington, or maybe uprooting my sons

v Washingtonu ali pa da bi preselila sinova

from their school and my husband from his work

iz njunih šol in moža iz njegove službe

and asking them to join me.

in jih prosila, da se mi pridružijo.

But deep down, I knew

Ampak globoko v sebi sem vedela,

that the right decision was to go home,

da je prava odločitev, da grem domov,

even if I didn't fully recognize the woman

čeprav nisem popolnoma prepoznala ženske,

who was making that choice.

ki se je odločala.

That was a decision based on love

To je bila odločitev na podlagi ljubezni

and responsibility.

in odgovornosti.

I couldn't keep watching my oldest son

Nisem mogla gledati, kako moj starejši sin

make bad choices

sprejema slabe odločitve,

without being able to be there for him

ne da bi lahko bila ob njem,

when and if he needed me.

kadar in če bi me potreboval.

But the real change came more gradually.

Ampak prava sprememba je prišla bolj postopno.

Over the next year,

V naslednjem letu,

while my family was righting itself,

ko je moja družina prišla k sebi,

I started to realize

sem začela dojemati,

that even if I could go back into government,

da četudi bi lahko šla nazaj v vlado,

I didn't want to.

ne bi hotela.

I didn't want to miss the last five years

Nisem hotela zamuditi zadnjih pet let,

that my sons were at home.

ko sta moja sinova doma.

I finally allowed myself to accept

Končno sem si dopustila priznati,

what was really most important to me,

kaj mi je resnično najbolj pomembno,

not what I was conditioned to want

ne kar sem si bila pogojena želeti

or maybe what I conditioned myself to want,

ali pa kar sem si sama zamislila, da si želim.

and that decision led to a reassessment

In ta odločitev je vodila v ponoven razmislek

of the feminist narrative that I grew up with

o feminističnem diskurzu, s katerim sem odrasla

and have always championed.

in se zanj zavzemala.

I am still completely committed

Še vedno sem popolnoma zavezana

to the cause of male-female equality,

cilju enakosti med spoloma,

but let's think about what that equality really means,

ampak pomislimo, kaj enakost pravzaprav pomeni

and how best to achieve it.

in kako jo najbolje doseči.

I always accepted the idea

Vedno sem sprejemala idejo,

that the most respected and powerful people

da so najbolj spoštovani in vplivni ljudje

in our society are men at the top of their careers,

v naši družbi, moški na vrhuncu svojih karier,

so that the measure of male-female equality

tako da je moralo biti merilo enakosti med spoloma,

ought to be how many women are in those positions:

koliko je žensk na teh mestih:

prime ministers, presidents, CEOs,

premierke, predsednice, generalne direktorice,

directors, managers, Nobel laureates, leaders.

šefice, menedžerke, Nobelove nagrajenke, voditeljice.

I still think we should do everything we possibly can

Še vedno mislim, da moramo narediti, kar se da,

to achieve that goal.

da dosežemo ta cilj.

But that's only half of real equality,

Ampak to je le del resnične enakosti

and I now think we're never going to get there

in zdaj mislim, da je ne bomo nikdar dosegli,

unless we recognize the other half.

če ne priznamo tudi druge polovice.

I suggest that real equality,

Predlagam, da resnična enakost,

full equality,

popolna enakost,

does not just mean valuing women

ne pomeni le ceniti žensk

on male terms.

z moškimi kriteriji.

It means creating a much wider range

Pomeni, da moramo ustvariti veliko širši izbor

of equally respected choices

enako spoštovanih odločitev

for women and for men.

za ženske in za moške.

And to get there, we have to change our workplaces,

In da to dosežemo, moramo spremeniti delovna mesta,

our policies and our culture.

naše politike in kulturo.

In the workplace,

Na delovnem mestu

real equality means valuing family

prava enakost pomeni ceniti družino

just as much as work,

prav tako kot delo

and understanding that the two reinforce each other.

in razumeti, da se oboje dopolnjuje.

As a leader and as a manager,

Kot voditeljica in menedžerka

I have always acted on the mantra,

sem vedno delovala po mantri,

if family comes first,

da če postaviš družino na prvo mesto,

work does not come second --

to ne pomeni, da je delo na drugem.

life comes together.

Življenje pride v enem kosu.

If you work for me, and you have a family issue,

Če delaš zame in imaš družinske probleme,

I expect you to attend to it,

bi pričakovala, da se jim posvetiš,

and I am confident,

in sem prepričana

and my confidence has always been borne out,

in moje prepričanje se je vedno potrdilo,

that the work will get done, and done better.

da bo delo opravljeno, in to bolje.

Workers who have a reason to get home

Zaposleni, ki imajo razlog, da gredo domov,

to care for their children or their family members

da skrbijo za svoje otroke ali družinske člane,

are more focused, more efficient,

so bolj osredotočeni, bolj učinkoviti,

more results-focused.

bolj usmerjeni k rezultatom.

And breadwinners who are also caregivers

In hranilci, ki so obenem skrbniki,

have a much wider range

imajo veliko širše

of experiences and contacts.

izkušnje in poznanstva.

Think about a lawyer who spends part of his time

Pomislite na odvetnika, ki preživi del svojega časa

at school events for his kids

na šolskih dogodkih svojih otrok

talking to other parents.

in se pogovarja z drugimi starši.

He's much more likely to bring in

Veliko verjetneje bo privedel

new clients for his firm

nove stranke za svoje podjetje

than a lawyer who never leaves his office.

kot odvetnik, ki nikdar ne zapusti pisarne.

And caregiving itself

In skrbništvo samo po sebi

develops patience --

razvija potrpežljivost -

a lot of patience --

ogromno potrpežljivosti -

and empathy, creativity, resilience, adaptability.

in empatijo, kreativnost, odpornost, prilagodljivost.

Those are all attributes that are ever more important

Vse to so lastnosti, ki so vedno bolj pomembne

in a high-speed, horizontal,

v hitri, horizontalni

networked global economy.

in mrežni globalni ekonomiji.

The best companies actually know this.

Najboljša podjetja to gotovo vedo.

The companies that win awards

Podjetja, ki prejemajo nagrade

for workplace flexibility in the United States

za fleksibilnost na delovnem mestu v ZDA,

include some of our most successful corporations,

so med najbolj uspešnimi korporacijami.

and a 2008 national study

Nacionalna raziskava iz leta 2008

on the changing workforce

o spremenjeni delovni sili

showed that employees

je pokazala, da so zaposleni

in flexible and effective workplaces

na fleksibilnih in učinkovitih delovnih mestih

are more engaged with their work,

bolj zavzeti za svoje delo,

they're more satisfied and more loyal,

so bolj zadovoljni in bolj zvesti,

they have lower levels of stress

so manj pod stresom

and higher levels of mental health.

in so duševno bolj zdravi.

And a 2012 study of employers

In raziskava o delodajalcih iz 2012

showed that deep, flexible practices

je pokazala, da so zakoreninjene fleksibilne prakse

actually lowered operating costs

pravzaprav zmanjšale operacijske stroške

and increased adaptability

in izboljšale prilagodljivost

in a global service economy.

v globalni storitveni ekonomiji.

So you may think

Mislite si lahko,

that the privileging of work over family

da je dajanje prednosti delu pred družino

is only an American problem.

le ameriški problem.

Sadly, though, the obsession with work

Na žalost ta obsedenost z delom

is no longer a uniquely American disease.

ni več le ameriška bolezen.

Twenty years ago,

Pred dvajsetimi leti,

when my family first started going to Italy,

ko je moja družina začela hoditi v Italijo,

we used to luxuriate in the culture of siesta.

smo uživali v kulturi sieste.

Siesta is not just about avoiding the heat of the day.

Siesta ni samo izogibanje dnevni vročini.

It's actually just as much

Je prav tako

about embracing the warmth of a family lunch.

sprejetje topline družinskega kosila.

Now, when we go, fewer and fewer businesses

Zdaj, kadar gremo, manj in manj podjetij

close for siesta,

zapre v času sieste,

reflecting the advance of global corporations

kar odraža napredovanje globalnih korporacij

and 24-hour competition.

in 24-urne konkurence.

So making a place for those we love

Napraviti prostor za tiste, ki jih ljubimo,

is actually a global imperative.

je pravzaprav globalna nujnost.

In policy terms,

V političnem smislu

real equality means recognizing

prava enakost pomeni, da priznamo,

that the work that women have traditionally done

da je delo, ki so ga ženske tradicionalno opravljale,

is just as important

prav tako pomembno

as the work that men have traditionally done,

kot delo, ki so ga tradicionalno opravljali moški,

no matter who does it.

kdor koli ga opravlja.

Think about it: Breadwinning and caregiving

Pomislite: hranilec in skrbnik družine

are equally necessary for human survival.

sta enako nujna za človeško preživetje.

At least if we get beyond a barter economy,

Če gremo prek blagovne menjave,

somebody has to earn an income

mora nekdo zaslužiti denar

and someone else has to convert that income

in nekdo drug mora pretvoriti ta denar

to care and sustenance for loved ones.

v nego in oskrbo bližnjih.

Now most of you, when you hear me

Večina med vami, ko sliši

talk about breadwinning and caregiving,

govor o hranilstvu in oskrbi,

instinctively translate those categories

nagonsko prevede te kategorije

into men's work and women's work.

v moško delo in v žensko delo.

And we don't typically challenge

In ponavadi ne izpodbijamo,

why men's work is advantaged.

zakaj je moško delo v prednosti.

But consider a same-sex couple

Ampak zamislite si istospolni par,

like my friends Sarah and Emily.

kot sta moji prijateljici Sarah in Emily.

They're psychiatrists.

Obe sta psihiatrinji.

They got married five years ago,

Poročili sta se pred petimi leti

and now they have two-year-old twins.

in zdaj imata dvoletna dvojčka.

They love being mothers,

Uživata v materinstvu,

but they also love their work,

ampak prav tako uživata v delu.

and they're really good at what they do.

In zelo dobri sta v svojem poklicu.

So how are they going to divide up

Torej kako bosta razdelili

breadwinning and caregiving responsibilities?

odgovornosti hranilstva in nege?

Should one of them stop working

Ali naj ena neha delati

or reduce hours to be home?

ali zmanjša delovnik, da bo več doma?

Or should they both change their practices

Ali naj obe spremenita urnike,

so they can have much more flexible schedules?

da bosta lahko bolj fleksibilni?

And what criteria should they use

In kakšne kriterije naj uporabljata

to make that decision?

za to odločitev?

Is it who makes the most money

Ali je bolj važno, kdo več zasluži

or who is most committed to her career?

ali kdo je bolj predan karieri?

Or who has the most flexible boss?

Ali kdo ima bolj fleksibilnega šefa?

The same-sex perspective helps us see

Perspektiva istospolnega para nam pomaga sprevideti,

that juggling work and family

da ravnovesje med delom in družino

are not women's problems,

niso ženski problemi,

they're family problems.

ampak so družinski problemi.

And Sarah and Emily are the lucky ones,

Sarah in Emily sta med srečnimi,

because they have a choice

ker imata možnost izbire,

about how much they want to work.

koliko hočeta delati.

Millions of men and women

Milijoni moških in žensk

have to be both breadwinners and caregivers

morajo biti obenem hranilci in skrbniki,

just to earn the income they need,

da lahko zaslužijo, kolikor potrebujejo,

and many of those workers are scrambling.

in mnogi od teh delavcev se mučijo.

They're patching together care arrangements

Skupaj krpajo varstvene možnosti,

that are inadequate

ki so neprimerne

and often actually unsafe.

in pogosto res nevarne.

If breadwinning and caregiving are really equal,

Če sta hranilstvo in oskrba res enakopravna,

then why shouldn't a government

zakaj ne bi vlada

invest as much in an infrastructure of care

investirala toliko v varstveno infrastruturo

as the foundation of a healthy society

kot temelj zdrave družbe,

as it invests in physical infrastructure

kot investira v fizično infrastrukturo

as the backbone of a successful economy?

kot temelj uspešnega gospodarstva?

The governments that get it --

Oblasti, ki to razumejo -

no surprises here --

brez presenečenj -

the governments that get it,

oblasti, ki to razumejo,

Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the Netherlands,

Norveška, Švedska, Danska, Nizozemska,

provide universal child care,

nudijo univerzalno varstvo otrok,

support for caregivers at home,

pomoč skrbnikom na domu,

school and early childhood education,

šolanje in predšolsko izobraževanje,

protections for pregnant women,

varstvo nosečnic

and care for the elderly and the disabled.

in skrb za starejše in invalide.

Those governments invest in that infrastructure

Te vlade investirajo v to infrastrukturo

the same way they invest in roads and bridges

na isti način, kot investirajo v ceste in mostove

and tunnels and trains.

in tunele in vlake.

Those societies also show you

Te družbe nam prav tako kažejo,

that breadwinning and caregiving

da se hranilstvo in oskrba

reinforce each other.

medsebojno podpirata.

They routinely rank among the top 15 countries

Rutinsko se uvrščajo med 15

of the most globally competitive economies,

globalno najbolj konkurenčnih gospodarstev,

but at the same time,

ampak se obenem

they rank very high on the OECD Better Life Index.

uvrščajo zelo visoko na indeksu OECD za boljše življenje.

In fact, they rank higher than other governments,

Pravzaprav, uvrščajo se višje kot druge države,

like my own, the U.S., or Switzerland,

kot moja, ZDA, ali Švica,

that have higher average levels of income

ki imata višje povprečne prihodke,

but lower rankings on work-life balance.

a nižje uvrstitve glede ravnovesja med delom in zasebnim življenjem.

So changing our workplaces

Torej sprememba naših delovnih mest

and building infrastructures of care

in izgradnja infrastrukture oskrbe

would make a big difference,

bi pomenila veliko spremembo,

but we're not going to get equally valued choices

ampak ne bomo dobili enako cenjenih možnosti,

unless we change our culture,

če ne spremenimo kulture.

and the kind of cultural change required

Kulturna sprememba, ki jo potrebujemo,

means re-socializing men.

je resocializacija moških.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

Increasingly in developed countries,

V razvitih državah so ženske vedno bolj

women are socialized to believe that our place

socializirane tako, da verjamejo, da njihovo mesto

is no longer only in the home,

ni le doma,

but men are actually still where they always were.

moški pa so še vedno tam, kjer so vedno bili.

Men are still socialized to believe

Moški so še vedno socializirani v prepričanje,

that they have to be breadwinners,

da morajo biti hranilci,

that to derive their self-worth

da pridobijo samospoštovanje

from how high they can climb over other men

s tem, kako visoko nad ostale moške

on a career ladder.

lahko splezajo na karierni lestvici.

The feminist revolution still has a long way to go.

Feministična revolucija ima še dolgo pot pred sabo.

It's certainly not complete.

Zagotovo ni končana.

But 60 years after

Ampak 60 let po tem,

"The Feminine Mystique" was published,

ko je bila izdana Ženstvena mističnost,

many women actually have

imajo mnoge ženske pravzaprav

more choices than men do.

več možnosti kot moški.

We can decide to be a breadwinner,

Lahko se odločimo, da bomo hranilke,

a caregiver, or any combination of the two.

skrbnice ali kakršna koli kombinacija tega.

When a man, on the other hand,

Ko se moški, po drugi strani,

decides to be a caregiver,

odloči, da bo skrbnik,

he puts his manhood on the line.

postavi svojo moškost na kocko.

His friends may praise his decision,

Njegovi prijatelji lahko hvalijo njegovo odločitev,

but underneath, they're scratching their heads.

ampak potiho se praskajo po glavi.

Isn't the measure of a man

Ali ni merilo moškosti

his willingness to compete with other men

njegova pripravljenost, da tekmuje z ostalimi moškimi

for power and prestige?

za moč in prestiž?

And as many women hold that view as men do.

In mnoge ženske mislijo enako kot moški.

We know that lots of women

Vemo, da mnoge ženske

still judge the attractiveness of a man

sodijo moško privlačnost

based in large part on how successful he is

na podlagi njegove uspešnosti

in his career.

v karieri.

A woman can drop out of the work force

Ženska lahko odide z delovnega trga

and still be an attractive partner.

in še vedno ostane privlačna partnerica.

For a man, that's a risky proposition.

Za moškega je to tvegan predlog.

So as parents and partners,

Torej kot starši in partnerji

we should be socializing our sons

bi morali vzgajati naše sinove

and our husbands

in naše može,

to be whatever they want to be,

da so lahko, kar hočejo biti,

either caregivers or breadwinners.

skrbniki ali hranilci.

We should be socializing them to make caregiving

Morali bi jih vzgajati v ideji,

cool for guys.

da je oskrba kul za fante.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

I can almost hear lots of you thinking, "No way."

Skoraj vas lahko slišim razmišljati: "Nikakor".

But in fact, the change is actually already happening.

Ampak spremembe se že dogajajo.

At least in the United States,

Vsaj v ZDA

lots of men take pride in cooking,

je veliko moških ponosnih, da kuhajo,

and frankly obsess over stoves.

in so obsedeni s štedilniki.

They are in the birthing rooms.

So v porodnišnicah.

They take paternity leave when they can.

Vzamejo si očetovski dopust, ko lahko.

They can walk a baby or soothe a toddler

Sprehajajo se z dojenčkom ali pomirijo otroka,

just as well as their wives can,

prav tako dobro kot njihove žene

and they are increasingly

in opravljajo vedno več

doing much more of the housework.

gospodinjskih del.

Indeed, there are male college students now

Zdaj imamo študente,

who are starting to say,

ki začenjajo govoriti:

"I want to be a stay-at-home dad."

"Želim ostati doma, ko bom oče."

That was completely unthinkable

To je bilo popolnoma nepredstavljivo

50 or even 30 years ago.

še pred 50 ali 30 leti.

And in Norway, where men have

Na Norveškem, kjer imajo moški

an automatic three month's paternity leave,

avtomatski trimesečni očetovski dopust,

but they lose it if they decide not to take it,

ki ga izgubijo, če ga ne vzamejo,

a high government official told me

mi je visok vladni uradnik povedal,

that companies are starting to look

da podjetja vedno bolj gledajo

at prospective male employees

na bodoče moške uslužbence

and raise an eyebrow if they didn't in fact

in so nezadovoljna, če si niso

take their leave when they had kids.

vzeli dopusta, ko so imeli otroke.

That means that it's starting to seem

To pomeni, da postaja

like a character defect

nekaj kot značajska napaka,

not to want to be a fully engaged father.

če si ne želiš biti popolnoma prisoten oče.

So I was raised

Jaz sem bila vzgojena

to believe that championing women's rights

v prepričanju, da zavzemanje za pravice žensk

meant doing everything we could

pomeni početje vsega možnega,

to get women to the top.

da bi ženske prišle na vrh.

And I still hope that I live long enough

In še vedno upam, da bom živela dovolj dolgo,

to see men and women equally represented

da bom videla moške in ženske enako zastopane

at all levels of the work force.

na vseh nivojih delovne sile.

But I've come to believe that we have to value family

Ampak verjamem, da moramo ceniti družino

every bit as much as we value work,

prav tako kot cenimo delo

and that we should entertain the idea

in da bi morali razmisliti,

that doing right by those we love

da nas delanje dobrega za tiste, ki jih ljubimo,

will make all of us better at everything we do.

naredi boljše pri vsem, kar delamo.

Thirty years ago, Carol Gilligan,

Pred tridesetimi leti je Carol Gilligan,

a wonderful psychologist, studied adolescent girls

čudovita psihologinja, raziskovala najstnice

and identified an ethic of care,

in je spoznala etiko skrbi,

an element of human nature every bit as important

element človeške narave, ki je prav tako pomemben

as the ethic of justice.

kot etika pravice.

It turns out that "you don't care"

Izgleda, da je "ni ti mar"

is just as much a part of who we are

prav toliko del nas, kot je

as "that's not fair."

"to ni pošteno".

Bill Gates agrees.

Bill Gates se strinja.

He argues that the two great forces of human nature

Pravi, da sta dve pomembni sili človeške narave

are self-interest and caring for others.

interes zase in skrb za druge.

Let's bring them both together.

Združimo ju v eno.

Let's make the feminist revolution

Napravimo feministično revolucijo

a humanist revolution.

v humanistično revolucijo.

As whole human beings,

Kot celotna človeška bitja

we will be better caregivers and breadwinners.

bomo boljši skrbniki in hranitelji.

You may think that can't happen,

Lahko si mislite, da se to ne more zgoditi,

but I grew up in a society

ampak jaz sem odrasla v družbi,

where my mother put out small vases

kjer je moja mati postavljala majhne vaze

of cigarettes for dinner parties,

s cigaretami na večernih zabavah,

where blacks and whites used separate bathrooms,

kjer so črnci in belci uporabljali različna stranišča in

and where everybody claimed to be heterosexual.

kjer so vsi trdili, da so heteroseksualni.

Today, not so much.

Danes ne več.

The revolution for human equality

Revolucija človeške enakosti

can happen.

se lahko zgodi.

It is happening.

Dogaja se.

It will happen.

Zgodila se bo.

How far and how fast is up to us.

Kako daleč in kako hitro, je na nas.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)