What I learned as a prisoner in North Korea | Euna Lee

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Camille Martínez

Prevodilac: Mirjana Čutura Lektor: Tijana Mihajlović

I recently read about what the young generation of workers want

Nedavno sam pročitala u časopisu „Harvard biznis rivju“

in Harvard Business Review.

šta mlada generacija radnika želi.

One thing that stuck out to me was: don't just talk about impact,

Stvar koja je ostavila utisak na mene je bila -

nemoj samo pričati o promeni, već napravi promenu.

but make an impact.

I'm a little bit older than you,

Malo sam starija od vas,

maybe much older than you,

možda mnogo starija od vas,

but this is exactly the same goal that I had when I was in college.

ali ovo je baš isti cilj koji sam imala kada sam bila na fakultetu.

I wanted to make my own impact for those who live under injustice;

Želela sam da sama promenim nešto za one koji žive u nepravdi;

it's the reason that I became a documentary journalist,

to je razlog zbog kojeg sam postala novinarka dokumentarnih programa,

the reason I became

razlog zbog kojeg sam bila

a prisoner in North Korea for 140 days.

zarobljenik u Severnoj Koreji 140 dana.

It was March 17, 2009.

Bio je 17. mart 2009. godine.

It is St. Patrick's Day for all of you,

To je Dan svetog Patrika za sve vas,

but it was the day that turned my life upside down.

ali to je bio dan koji je okrenuo moj život naopačke.

My team and I were making a documentary about North Korean refugees

Moja ekipa i ja smo snimali dokumentarac o izbeglicama iz Severne Koreje

living below human life in China.

koje su živele ispod granice ljudskog dostojanstva u Kini.

We were at the border.

Bili smo na granici.

It was our last day of filming.

Bio je to naš poslednji dan snimanja.

There was no wire fence

Nije bilo žičane ograde,

or bars

ili rešetaka

or sign to show that it is the border,

ili znaka da pokaže da je to granica,

but this is a place that a lot of North Korean defectors use

ali ovo je mesto koje mnogo izbeglica iz Severne Koreje koristi

as an escape route.

kao mesto za prebeg.

It was still winter,

Još uvek je bila zima

and the river was frozen.

i reka je bila zamrznuta.

When we were in the middle of the frozen river,

Kada smo bili na sredini smrznute reke,

we were filming about the condition of the cold weather

snimali smo o uslovima hladnog vremena

and the environment

i okoline

sa kojima su stanovnici Severne Koreje morali da se nose

that North Koreans had to deal with

when they seek their freedom.

u potrazi za slobodom.

And suddenly, one of my team members shouted,

I, iznenada, jedan član moje ekipe je uzviknuo:

"Soldiers!"

„Vojnici!“

So I looked back,

Osvrnula sam se

and there were two small soldiers in green uniforms with rifles,

i tamo su bila dva niska vojnika u zelenim uniformama sa puškama

chasing after us.

koja su jurila za nama.

We all ran as fast as we could.

Svi smo potrčali što smo brže mogli.

I prayed that, please don't let them shoot my head.

Molila sam se da me ne upucaju u glavu.

And I was thinking that,

I mislila sam

if my feet are on Chinese soil,

da ću, ako sam na tlu Kine,

I'll be safe.

biti sigurna.

And I made it to Chinese soil.

I uspela sam da stignem do kineskog tla.

Then I saw my colleague Laura Ling fall on her knees.

Tada sam videla svoju koleginicu, Loru Ling, kako je pala na kolena.

I didn't know what to do at that short moment,

Nisam znala šta da uradim u tom trenutku,

but I knew that I could not leave her alone there

ali sam znala da je ne mogu ostaviti samu tamo

when she said, "Euna, I can't feel my legs."

kada je rekla: „Juna, ne osećam noge.“

In a flash, we were surrounded by these two Korean soldiers.

U trenu su nas ta dva korejska vojnika okružila.

They were not much bigger than us,

Nisu bili puno viši od nas,

but they were determined to take us to their army base.

ali bili su odlučni da nas odvedu u svoju vojnu bazu.

I begged and yelled for any kind of help,

Molila sam i vikala za bilo kakvu pomoć

hoping that someone would show up from China.

u nadi da će se neko pojaviti iz Kine.

Here I was, being stubborn

Stajala sam tamo, ponašajući se tvrdoglavo

towards a trained soldier with a gun.

prema obučenom naoružanom vojniku.

I looked at his eyes.

Pogledala sam ga u oči.

He was just a boy.

Bio je tek dečak.

At that moment, he raised his rifle to hit me,

U tom trenutku je podigao pušku da me udari,

but I saw that he was hesitating.

ali sam videla da je oklevao.

His eyes were shaking,

Oči su mu poigravale,

and his rifle was still up in the air.

a njegova puška je i dalje bila podignuta.

So I shouted at him,

Stoga sam viknula na njega:

"OK, OK, I'll walk with you."

„Okej, okej, poći ću sa vama.“

And I got up.

Ustala sam.

When we arrived at their army base,

Kada smo stigli u njihovu vojnu bazu,

my head was spinning with these worst-case scenarios,

vrtelo mi se u glavi od svih ovih mogućih loših ishoda,

and my colleague's statement wasn't helping.

a izjava moje koleginice nije bila od pomoći.

She said, "We are the enemy."

Rekla je: „Mi smo neprijatelj.“

She was right: we were the enemy.

Bila je u pravu - bili smo neprijatelj.

And I was supposed to be frightened, too.

Takođe je trebalo da se bojim.

But I kept having these odd experiences.

Ali, neprekidno sam imala ova čudna iskustva.

This time, an officer brought me his coat

Ovoga puta, jedan oficir mi je doneo svoj kaput

to keep me warm,

da mi bude toplo

because I lost my coat on the frozen river

zato što sam izgubila svoj kaput na zaleđenoj reci

while battling with one of these soldiers.

dok sam se borila sa jednim od ovih vojnika.

I will tell you what I mean by these odd experiences.

Reći ću vam na kakva čudna iskustva mislim.

I grew up in South Korea.

Odrasla sam u Južnoj Koreji.

To us, North Korea was always the enemy,

Za nas, Severna Koreja je uvek bila neprijatelj,

even before I was born.

čak i pre nego što sam se rodila.

South and North have been under armistice for 63 years,

Jug i Sever su u primirju 63 godine,

since the end of the Korean War.

od kraja Korejskog rata.

And growing up in the South in the '80s and '90s,

Dok smo odrastali na Jugu tokom 80-ih i 90-ih godina,

we were taught propaganda about North Korea.

slušali smo propagandu o Severnoj Koreji.

And we heard so many graphic stories,

Čuli smo toliko slikovitih priča,

such as, a little young boy being brutally killed

kao što je priča o malom dečaku kojeg su severnokorejski špijuni

by North Korean spies just because he said,

brutalno ubili samo zato što je rekao:

"I don't like communists."

„Ne volim komuniste.“

Or, I watched this cartoon series

Ili, gledala sam seriju crtanih filmova

about a young South Korean boy defeating these fat, big, red pig,

o južnokorejskom dečaku

koji je poražavao ovu veliku, debelu, crvenu svinju

which represented the North Koreans' first leader at the time.

koja je predstavljala vođu Severne Koreje u to vreme.

And the effect of hearing these horrible stories over and over

A posledica neprekidnog slušanja ovih užasnih priča

instilled one word in a young mind:

usadila je jednu reč u moju mladu glavu -

"enemy."

„neprijatelj“.

And I think at some point, I dehumanized them,

Mislim da sam ih u nekom trenutku dehumanizovala

and the people of North Korea became equated

i stanovnici Severne Koreje su postali izjednačeni

with the North Korean government.

sa vladom Severne Koreje.

Now, back to my detention.

Da se vratim svom pritvoru.

It was the second day

Bio je drugi dan

of being in a cell.

boravka u ćeliji.

I had not slept since I was out at the border.

Nisam spavala otkada sam bila napolju na granici.

This young guard came to my cell

Ovaj mladi čuvar je došao u moju ćeliju,

and offered me this small boiled egg

ponudio mi malo kuvano jaje

and said, "This will give you strength to keep going."

i rekao: „Ovo će ti dati snagu da nastaviš.“

Do you know what it is like,

Znate li kako izgleda

receiving a small kindness in the enemy's hand?

primiti mali znak pažnje iz ruke neprijatelja?

Whenever they were kind to me, I thought the worst case

Kada god su bili ljubazni prema meni,

pomislila sam da me čeka najgore nakon te ljubaznosti.

was waiting for me after the kindness.

One officer noticed my nervousness.

Jedan oficir je primetio moju nervozu.

He said, "Did you think we were all these red pigs?"

Rekao je: „Da li misliš da smo svi mi crvene svinje?“,

referring to the cartoon that I just showed you.

aludirajući na crtani film koji sam vam upravo pokazala.

Every day was like a psychological battle.

Svaki dan je ličio na psihološku borbu.

The interrogator had me sit at a table

Istražitelj me je postavljao za sto

six days a week

šest dana u nedelji

and had me writing down about my journey, my work,

i primoravao me da pišem o svom putovanju, radu,

over and over until I wrote down the confession that they wanted to hear.

iznova i iznova, dok nisam napisala priznanje koje su želeli da čuju.

After about three months of detention,

Nakon oko tri meseca pritvora,

the North Korean court sentenced me

sud Severne Koreje me je osudio

to 12 years in a labor camp.

na dvanaest godina prinudnog rada.

So I was just sitting in my room to be transferred.

Stoga sam samo sedela u svojoj sobi i čekala da budem prebačena.

At that time, I really had nothing else to do,

Tada zaista nisam imala ništa drugo da radim,

so I paid attention to these two female guards

pa sam posmatrala dva ženska čuvara

and listened to what they were talking about.

i slušala šta su pričale.

Guard A was older,

Čuvar A je bila starija

and she studied English.

i studirala je engleski.

She seemed like she came from an affluent family.

Delovala je kao da potiče iz imućne porodice.

She often showed up with these colorful dresses,

Često se pojavljivala u raznobojnim haljinama

and then loved to show off.

i tada je volela da se pravi važna.

And Guard B was the younger one,

Čuvar B je bila mlađa

and she was a really good singer.

i veoma je lepo pevala.

She loved to sing Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" --

Volela je da peva pesmu Selin Dion „Moje srce će nastaviti“;

sometimes too much.

ponekad previše.

She knew just how to torture me without knowing.

Znala je kako da me nesvesno muči.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And this girl spent a lot of time in the morning to put on makeup,

Ova devojka je provodila mnogo vremena u nanošenju šminke ujutru,

like you can see in any young girl's life.

kao što možete videti u životu svake druge mlade devojke.

And they loved to watch this Chinese drama,

Volele su da gledaju kineske drame -

a better quality production.

produkciju boljeg kvaliteta.

I remember Guard B said,

Sećam se da je čuvar B rekla:

"I can no longer watch our TV shows after watching this."

„Ne mogu više da gledam naše televizijske emisije nakon ovoga.“

She got scolded

Prekoreli su je

for degrading her own country's produced TV shows.

zbog omalovažavanja televizijskih emisija snimljenih u njenoj državi.

Guard B had more of a free mind than Guard A,

Čuvar B je bila slobodoumnija nego čuvar A

and she often got scolded by Guard A whenever she expressed herself.

i čuvar A ju je često korila kad god bi rekla šta misli.

One day, they invited all these female colleagues --

Jednog dana su pozvale sve koleginice -

I don't know where they came from --

ne znam odakle su došle -

to where I was held,

da dođu na mesto gde sam ja bila zatvorena,

and they invited me

a mene su pozvale

to their guard room

u svoju prostoriju za čuvare

and asked

i pitale su me

if one-night stands really happen in the US.

da li veze za jednu noć zaista postoje u Americi.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

This is the country where young couples are not even allowed

Ovo je država u kojoj mladim parovima nije čak ni dozvoljeno

to hold hands in public.

da se drže za ruke u javnosti.

I had no idea where they had gotten this information,

Nisam imala pojma kako su došle do te informacije,

but they were shy and giggly even before I said anything.

ali bile su postiđene i kikotale su se čak i pre nego što sam išta rekla.

I think we all forgot that I was their prisoner,

Mislim da smo sve zaboravile da sam bila njihov zarobljenik

and it was like going back to my high school classroom again.

i delovalo je kao da sam se ponovo vratila u svoju učionicu u srednjoj školi.

And I learned that these girls also grew up watching a similar cartoon,

Saznala sam da su ove devojke takođe odrasle gledajući sličan crtani film,

but just propaganda towards South Korea and the US.

jedino sa propagandom usmerenom ka Južnoj Koreji i Americi.

I started to understand where these people's anger was coming from.

Počela sam da shvatam odakle je bes ovih ljudi dolazio.

If these girls grew up learning that we are enemies,

Ako su ove devojke odrasle učeći da smo mi neprijatelj,

it was just natural that they would hate us

bilo je potpuno prirodno da nas mrze,

just as I feared them.

kao što sam se ja njih plašila.

But at that moment, we were all just girls

Međutim, u tom trenutku, bile smo samo devojke

who shared the same interests,

koje su delile ista interesovanja

beyond our ideologies that separated us.

van naših ideologija koje su nas razdvajale.

I shared these stories with my boss at Current TV at the time

Podelila sam ove priče sa svojim tadašnjim šefom na TV stanici „Karent“

after I came home.

nakon što sam došla kući.

His first reaction was,

Njegova prva reakcija je bila:

"Euna, have you heard of Stockholm Syndrome?"

„Juna, da li si čula za stokholmski sindrom?“

Yes, and I clearly remember

Da, i jasno se sećam

the feeling of fear

osećaja straha,

and being threatened,

pretnji

and tension rising up between me and the interrogator

i rasta napetosti između mene i istražitelja

when we talked about politics.

kada smo pričali o politici.

There definitely was a wall that we couldn't climb over.

Sasvim sigurno je postojao zid koji nismo mogli preskočiti.

But we were able to see each other as human beings

Ipak, mogli smo videti jedno drugo kao ljudska bića

when we talked about family,

kada smo pričali o porodici,

everyday life,

svakodnevnom životu

the importance of the future for our children.

i važnosti budućnosti naše dece.

It was about a month before I came home.

Bilo je to mesec dana pre nego što sam došla kući.

I got really sick.

Veoma sam se razbolela.

Guard B stopped by my room to say goodbye,

Čuvar B je navratila do moje sobe da se pozdravi

because she was leaving the detention center.

zato što je napuštala centar za pritvor.

She made sure that no one watched us,

Pobrinula se za to da nas niko ne gleda,

no one heard us,

ni čuje,

and quietly said,

i tiho je rekla:

„Nadam se da ćes se uskoro oporaviti

"I hope you get better

and go back to your family soon."

i vratiti svojoj porodici.“

It is these people --

To su ovi ljudi -

the officer who brought me his coat,

oficir koji mi je doneo svoj kaput,

the guard who offered me a boiled egg,

čuvar koji mi je ponudio kuvano jaje,

these female guards who asked me about dating life in the US --

ove žene čuvari koje su me pitale o zabavljanju u Americi -

they are the ones that I remember of North Korea:

oni su ti kojih se sećam iz Severne Koreje -

humans just like us.

ljudska bića kao mi.

North Koreans and I were not ambassadors of our countries,

Severnokoreanci i ja nismo bili ambasadori svojih država,

but I believe that we were representing

ali mislim da smo predstavljali

the human race.

ljudsku rasu.

Now I'm back home and back to my life.

Sada sam se vratila kući i svom životu.

The memory of these people has blurred as time has passed.

Sećanje na ove ljude bledi kako vreme prolazi.

And I'm in this place

Nalazim se na ovom mestu

gde čitam i slušam kako Severna Koreja provocira SAD.

where I read and hear about North Korea provoking the US.

I realized how easy it is

Shvatam koliko je lako

to see them as an enemy again.

ponovo ih videti kao neprijatelja.

But I have to keep reminding myself that when I was over there,

Međutim, moram da nastavim da se podsećam da, kada sam bila tamo,

I was able to see humanity

da sam mogla da vidim čovečnost,

over hatred

a ne samo mržnju

in my enemy's eyes.

u očima neprijatelja.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Aplauz)

(Applause)