What I learned as a prisoner in North Korea | Euna Lee

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Camille Martínez

Prevoditelj: Biljana Ježik Recezent: Anja Kolobarić

I recently read about what the young generation of workers want

Nedavno sam čitala što žele mlade generacije radnika

in Harvard Business Review.

u novinama Harvard Business Review.

One thing that stuck out to me was: don't just talk about impact,

Jedna rečenica koja se isticala bila je: nemojte samo govoriti o utjecaju,

but make an impact.

već utječite.

I'm a little bit older than you,

Malo sam starija od vas,

maybe much older than you,

možda i dosta starija od vas,

but this is exactly the same goal that I had when I was in college.

ali imala sam isti cilj dok sam studirala.

I wanted to make my own impact for those who live under injustice;

Htjela sam utjecati na one koji žive u nepravdi,

it's the reason that I became a documentary journalist,

to je i razlog zbog kojeg sam postala novinar dokumentarist,

the reason I became

razlog zbog kojeg sam postala

a prisoner in North Korea for 140 days.

zatočenik Sjeverne Koreje u trajanju od 140 dana.

It was March 17, 2009.

Bio je 17. ožujka 2009. godine.

It is St. Patrick's Day for all of you,

Za sve vas to je Dan svetog Patrika,

but it was the day that turned my life upside down.

no za mene je to bio dan kada mi se život okrenuo naglavačke.

My team and I were making a documentary about North Korean refugees

Moja ekipa i ja snimali smo dokumentarac o izbjeglicama Sjeverne Koreje

living below human life in China.

koji žive u nehumanim uvjetima u Kini.

We were at the border.

Bili smo na granici.

It was our last day of filming.

Bio je posljednji dan snimanja.

There was no wire fence

Nije bilo žičane ograde

or bars

ni šipki

or sign to show that it is the border,

ni bilo kakvog znaka da je tamo granica,

but this is a place that a lot of North Korean defectors use

ali to je mjesto za mnoge dezertere Sjeverne Koreje

as an escape route.

put bijega.

It was still winter,

Bila je zima

and the river was frozen.

i rijeka je bila zaleđena.

When we were in the middle of the frozen river,

Bili smo na sredini zamrznute rijeke

we were filming about the condition of the cold weather

i snimali smo zimske vremenske uvjete

and the environment

i okolinu

that North Koreans had to deal with

s kojom su se Sjeverni Korjeci morali suočiti

when they seek their freedom.

kada su bježali u slobodu.

And suddenly, one of my team members shouted,

Iznenada, jedan član moje ekipe je povikao:

"Soldiers!"

"Vojnici!"

So I looked back,

Okrenula sam se

and there were two small soldiers in green uniforms with rifles,

i vidjela dva mala vojnika u zelenim uniformama s puškama

chasing after us.

kako nas love.

We all ran as fast as we could.

Bježali smo što smo brže mogli.

I prayed that, please don't let them shoot my head.

Molila sam se da me ne pogode u glavu.

And I was thinking that,

Razmišljala sam

if my feet are on Chinese soil,

ako su mi stopala na kineskom tlu,

I'll be safe.

bit ću sigurna.

And I made it to Chinese soil.

Uspjela sam doći do kineskog tla.

Then I saw my colleague Laura Ling fall on her knees.

Tada sam vidjela kolegicu Lauru Ling kako je pala na koljena.

I didn't know what to do at that short moment,

U tom kratkom trenutku nisam znala što učiniti,

but I knew that I could not leave her alone there

ali znala sam da je ne mogu ostaviti samu

when she said, "Euna, I can't feel my legs."

i tada je rekla: "Euna, ne osjećam noge."

In a flash, we were surrounded by these two Korean soldiers.

U trenu, ta dva korejska vojnika su nas okružila.

They were not much bigger than us,

Nisu bili mnogo veći od nas,

but they were determined to take us to their army base.

ali čvrsto su odlučili odvesti nas u svoju vojnu bazu.

I begged and yelled for any kind of help,

Molila sam i vikala za bilo kakvom pomoći

hoping that someone would show up from China.

nadajući se da će se pojaviti netko iz Kine.

Here I was, being stubborn

Bila sam tvrdoglava

towards a trained soldier with a gun.

prema istreniranom vojniku s puškom.

I looked at his eyes.

Pogledala sam ga u oči.

He was just a boy.

Bio je tek dječak.

At that moment, he raised his rifle to hit me,

U tom trenu je usmjerio pušku prema meni,

but I saw that he was hesitating.

ali vidjela sam da je neodlučan.

His eyes were shaking,

Oči su mu titrale,

and his rifle was still up in the air.

a njegova je puška još visjela u zraku.

So I shouted at him,

Povikala sam mu:

"OK, OK, I'll walk with you."

"Dobro, dobro, poći ću s tobom."

And I got up.

Tada sam ustala.

When we arrived at their army base,

Kada smo došli u njihovu vojnu bazu,

my head was spinning with these worst-case scenarios,

u mojoj su se glavi odigravali najgori mogući scenariji,

and my colleague's statement wasn't helping.

a ni izjava moje kolegice nije bila od velike pomoći.

She said, "We are the enemy."

Rekla je: "Mi smo neprijatelji."

She was right: we were the enemy.

Bila je u pravu: bili smo neprijatelji.

And I was supposed to be frightened, too.

I ja sam trebala biti prestrašena.

But I kept having these odd experiences.

Ali stalno su mi se događale neke čudne stvari.

This time, an officer brought me his coat

Njihov mi je časnik donio svoj kaput

to keep me warm,

da se ugrijem,

because I lost my coat on the frozen river

jer sam svoj kaput izgubila na zamrznutoj rijeci

while battling with one of these soldiers.

dok sam se borila s jednim od vojnika.

I will tell you what I mean by these odd experiences.

Reći ću vam što mislim pod tim čudnim stvarima.

I grew up in South Korea.

Odrasla sam u Južnoj Koreji.

To us, North Korea was always the enemy,

Za nas je Sjeverna Koreja uvijek bila neprijatelj,

even before I was born.

čak i prije mog rođenja.

South and North have been under armistice for 63 years,

Primirje između Sjevera i Juga traje 63 godine,

since the end of the Korean War.

od završetka Korejskog rata.

And growing up in the South in the '80s and '90s,

Tijekom odrastanja na Jugu '80-ih i '90-ih godina

we were taught propaganda about North Korea.

podučavani smo propagandama o Sjevernoj Koreji.

And we heard so many graphic stories,

Čuli smo toliko priča s previše detalja,

such as, a little young boy being brutally killed

primjerice, o dječaku kojeg su brutalno ubili

by North Korean spies just because he said,

špijuni Sjeverne Koreje samo zato što je rekao:

"I don't like communists."

"Ne volim komuniste."

Or, I watched this cartoon series

Ili, gledala sam crtić

about a young South Korean boy defeating these fat, big, red pig,

o dječaku iz Južne Koreje koji se bori s velikom, debelom, crvenom svinjom,

which represented the North Koreans' first leader at the time.

koja je u to doba predstavljala vođu Sjeverne Koreje.

And the effect of hearing these horrible stories over and over

Neprestano slušanje takvih strašnih priča

instilled one word in a young mind:

usadio je jednu riječ u mladi um:

"enemy."

"neprijatelj".

And I think at some point, I dehumanized them,

Mislim da sam ih u jednom trenutku počela dehumanizirati,

and the people of North Korea became equated

pa su ljudi Sjeverne Koreje postali isti

with the North Korean government.

kao vlada Sjeverne Koreje.

Now, back to my detention.

Vratimo se na moj pritvor.

It was the second day

Bio je to moj drugi dan

of being in a cell.

u ćeliji.

I had not slept since I was out at the border.

Nisam spavala otkako sam došla s granice.

This young guard came to my cell

Mladi je vojnik došao do moje ćelije

and offered me this small boiled egg

i ponudio mi malo kuhano jaje

and said, "This will give you strength to keep going."

i rekao: "Ovo će ti dati snagu da nastaviš dalje".

Do you know what it is like,

Znate li kako je

receiving a small kindness in the enemy's hand?

primiti mali znak pažnje iz ruke neprijatelja?

Whenever they were kind to me, I thought the worst case

Kada god su bili ljubazni, pomislila sam da me najgore čeka

was waiting for me after the kindness.

nakon ukazane ljubaznosti.

One officer noticed my nervousness.

Jedan je časnik primjetio moju napetost.

He said, "Did you think we were all these red pigs?"

Rekao je: "Misliš li da smo svi mi te crvene svinje?",

referring to the cartoon that I just showed you.

misleći na crtić koji sam vam pokazala.

Every day was like a psychological battle.

Svaki je dan bio poput psihološke bitke.

The interrogator had me sit at a table

Ispitivač je naredio da sjedim za stolom

six days a week

šest dana tjedno

and had me writing down about my journey, my work,

i tjerao me da pišem o svome putovanju, o poslu,

over and over until I wrote down the confession that they wanted to hear.

iznova i iznova, dok nisam napisala priznanje koje su htjeli čuti.

After about three months of detention,

Nakon otprilike tri mjeseca pritvora,

the North Korean court sentenced me

sud Sjeverne Koreje odredio mi je kaznu

to 12 years in a labor camp.

na 12 godina u radnom logoru.

So I was just sitting in my room to be transferred.

Sjedila sam u sobi i čekala premještaj.

At that time, I really had nothing else to do,

U to vrijeme zaista nisam imala što raditi,

so I paid attention to these two female guards

pa sam pratila dvije stražarice

and listened to what they were talking about.

i slušala o čemu pričaju.

Guard A was older,

Stražarica A bila je starija

and she studied English.

i učila je engleski.

She seemed like she came from an affluent family.

Činilo se da dolazi iz bogate obitelji.

She often showed up with these colorful dresses,

Često je dolazila u šarenim haljinama

and then loved to show off.

i voljela se praviti važna.

And Guard B was the younger one,

Stražarica B bila je mlađa

and she was a really good singer.

i jako je lijepo pjevala.

She loved to sing Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" --

Voljela je pjevati pjesmu Celine Dion "My Heart Will Go On",

sometimes too much.

ponekad i previše.

She knew just how to torture me without knowing.

Mučila me, a da nije bila ni svjesna.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And this girl spent a lot of time in the morning to put on makeup,

Ta je djevojka provodila mnogo vremena ujutro šminkajući se,

like you can see in any young girl's life.

poput svake druge mlade djevojke.

And they loved to watch this Chinese drama,

Voljele su gledali kineske drame,

a better quality production.

s boljom produkcijom.

I remember Guard B said,

Sjećam se da je stražarica B rekla:

"I can no longer watch our TV shows after watching this."

"Nakon ove serije, ne mogu gledati nijednu drugu."

She got scolded

Prekorili su je

for degrading her own country's produced TV shows.

jer je umanjivala kvalitetu serija produciranih u vlastitoj zemlji.

Guard B had more of a free mind than Guard A,

Stražarica B bila je slobodnijeg duha od stražarice A

and she often got scolded by Guard A whenever she expressed herself.

i stražarica A bi je često korila kad je izražavala svoje mišljenje.

One day, they invited all these female colleagues --

Jednog dana, njih su dvije pozvale svoje kolegice,

I don't know where they came from --

ne znam odakle su došle,

to where I was held,

na mjesto gdje sam bila zatočena,

and they invited me

i pozvale su me

to their guard room

u njihovu stražarsku sobu

and asked

i pitale

if one-night stands really happen in the US.

da li u SAD-u zaista postoje veze za jednu noć.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

This is the country where young couples are not even allowed

Ovo je zemlja gdje mladim parovima nije dozvoljeno

to hold hands in public.

držati se za ruke u javnosti.

I had no idea where they had gotten this information,

Nisam znala odakle su dobile te informacije,

but they were shy and giggly even before I said anything.

ali bile su stidljive i hihotale su se prije nego sam uspjela odgovoriti.

I think we all forgot that I was their prisoner,

Mislim da smo sve zaboravile da sam zatočenica

and it was like going back to my high school classroom again.

i bilo je kao da sam se vratila u srednju školu.

And I learned that these girls also grew up watching a similar cartoon,

Shvatila sam da su i ove djevojke odrasle gledajući sličan crtić,

but just propaganda towards South Korea and the US.

samo što je propaganda bila usmjerena na Južnu Koreju i SAD.

I started to understand where these people's anger was coming from.

Počela sam shvaćati odakle sva ta mržnja u ljudima.

If these girls grew up learning that we are enemies,

Ako su te djevojke odrasle učeći da smo mi neprijatelji,

it was just natural that they would hate us

sasvim je prirodno da one nas mrze,

just as I feared them.

a da se ja njih bojim.

But at that moment, we were all just girls

Ali u tom trenutku sve smo bile djevojke

who shared the same interests,

koje su imale zajedničke interese,

beyond our ideologies that separated us.

koji su viši od ideologija što nas dijele.

I shared these stories with my boss at Current TV at the time

Podijelila sam ta iskustva s direktorom Current televizije

after I came home.

kada sam došla kući.

His first reaction was,

Njegova je prva reakcija bila:

"Euna, have you heard of Stockholm Syndrome?"

"Euna, jesi li čula za stockholmski sindrom?"

Yes, and I clearly remember

Da, i jasno se sjećam

the feeling of fear

osjećaja straha

and being threatened,

i ugroženosti

and tension rising up between me and the interrogator

i napetosti koja je rasla između mene i ispitivača

when we talked about politics.

dok smo razgovarali o politici.

There definitely was a wall that we couldn't climb over.

Između nas bio je zid koji nismo mogli prijeći.

But we were able to see each other as human beings

Ali mogli smo vidjeti jedno drugo kao ljudska bića

when we talked about family,

kada smo pričali o obitelji,

everyday life,

svakodnevnom životu,

the importance of the future for our children.

o važnosti budućnosti naše djece.

It was about a month before I came home.

To je bilo otprilike mjesec dana prije nego sam došla kući.

I got really sick.

Jako sam se razboljela.

Guard B stopped by my room to say goodbye,

Stražarica B se došla pozdraviti

because she was leaving the detention center.

jer je odlazila iz pritvora.

She made sure that no one watched us,

Pobrinula se da nas nitko ne gleda,

no one heard us,

ne čuje

and quietly said,

i tiho je rekla:

"I hope you get better

"Nadam se da ćeš uskoro ozdraviti

and go back to your family soon."

i vratiti se svojoj obitelji."

It is these people --

Zbog tih ljudi,

the officer who brought me his coat,

časnika koji mi je donio svoj kaput,

the guard who offered me a boiled egg,

čuvara koji mi je ponudio kuhano jaje,

these female guards who asked me about dating life in the US --

stražarica koje su me ispitivale o izlascima u SAD-u,

they are the ones that I remember of North Korea:

oni su ti po kojima pamtim Sjevernu Koreju:

humans just like us.

po ljudima poput nas.

North Koreans and I were not ambassadors of our countries,

Sjeverni Korejci i ja nismo bili izaslanici svojih zemalja,

but I believe that we were representing

ali vjerujem da smo predstavljali

the human race.

čovječanstvo.

Now I'm back home and back to my life.

Vratila sam se kući i svome životu.

The memory of these people has blurred as time has passed.

Sjećanje na te ljude s vremenom je postalo malo mutno.

And I'm in this place

Sada sam ovdje

where I read and hear about North Korea provoking the US.

gdje čitam i slušam kako Sjeverna Koreja provocira SAD.

I realized how easy it is

Shvatila sam koliko je lako

to see them as an enemy again.

opet ih gledati kao neprijatelje.

But I have to keep reminding myself that when I was over there,

Ali moram se podsjećati da kada sam bila ondje,

I was able to see humanity

mogla sam vidjeti ljudskost

over hatred

nad mržnjom

in my enemy's eyes.

u očima neprijatelja.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Pljesak).