The birds and the bees are just the beginning | Carin Bondar

Prevodilac: Ivana Krivokuća Lektor: Ivana Korom

Anyone in the room thought about sex today?

Da li je neko u prostoriji mislio na seks danas?

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Yeah, you did.

Jeste, mislili ste.

Thank you for putting your hand up over there.

Hvala na podizanju ruke.

Well, I'm here to provide you with

Ovde sam da vam pružim

some biological validation

biološku potvrdu

for your sordid daydreams.

za vašu prljavu maštu.

Ovde sam da bih vam ispričala par stvari

I'm here to tell you a few things

that you might not have known about wild sex.

koje možda niste znali o divljem seksu.

Now, when humans think about sex,

Kada ljudi misle o seksu,

male and female forms

muški i ženski oblici

are generally what come to mind,

su obično ono što pada na pamet,

but for many millions of years,

ali mnogo miliona godina,

such specific categories didn't even exist.

tako specifične kategorije nisu ni postojale.

Sex was a mere fusion of bodies

Seks je bio samo spajanje tela

or a trickle of DNA

ili kapi DNK

shared between two or more beings.

koje razmenjuju dva ili više bića.

It wasn't until about 500 million years ago

Tek pre oko 500 miliona godina

that we start to see structures akin to a penis

smo počeli viđati strukture slične penisu

or a thing that gives DNA out,

ili stvari koja izbacuje DNK napolje,

and a vagina, something that receives it.

i vagine, nečega što je prima.

Now invariably, you're probably thinking about

Podrazumeva se da verovatno mislite

what belongs to our own species,

o onome što pripada našoj vrsti,

these very familiar structures,

te vrlo poznate strukture,

but the diversity that we see in sexual structures

ali raznolikost koju vidimo kod seksualnih struktura

in the animal kingdom that has evolved

u životinjskom svetu koji je evoluirao

in response to the multitude of factors

kao odgovor na mnoštvo faktora

surrounding reproduction

vezanih za reprodukciju

is pretty mind-blowing.

prilično je fascinantna.

Penile diversity is especially profuse.

Raznolikost penisa je naročito obilna.

So this is a paper nautilus.

Ovo je papirni nautilus.

It's a close relative of squid and octopus,

On je bliski rođak lignje i hobotnice,

and males have a hectocotylus.

a mužjaci imaju hektokotilusa.

Just what is a hectocotylus?

Šta je hektokotilus?

A detachable, swimming penis.

Plivajući penis koji se može odvojiti.

It leaves the [body of the male],

Napušta telo mužjaka,

finds the female through pheromonal cues in the water,

pronalazi ženku pomoću feromonskih signala u vodi,

attaches itself to her body

prikači se za njeno telo

and deposits the sperm.

i položi spermu.

For many decades, biologists actually felt

Mnogo decenija, biolozi su zaista mislili

that the hectocotylus was a separate organism altogether.

da je hektokotilus potpuno zaseban organizam.

Now, the tapir is a mammal from South America.

Tapir je sisar iz Južne Amerike.

And the tapir has a prehensile penis.

I tapir ima prihvatajući penis.

It actually has a level of dexterity in its penis

Zapravo ima spretnost penisa

much akin to what we have with our hands.

dosta sličnu onoj koju mi imamo u rukama.

And it uses this dexterity

I on koristi ovu spretnost

to bypass the vagina altogether

da potpuno zaobiđe vaginu

and deposit sperm directly into the female's uterus,

i stavi spermu direktno u matericu ženke,

not to mention it's a pretty good size.

da ne pričam o tome da je prilično veliki.

The biggest penis in the animal kingdom,

Najveći penis u životinjskom carstvu,

however, is not that of the tapir.

ipak, nije tapirov.

The biggest penis-to-body-size ratio

Najveći penis u odnosu na veličinu tela

in the animal kingdom actually belongs

u životinjskom carstvu zapravo pripada

to the meager beach barnacle,

majušnom krpelju sa plaže,

and this video is actually showing you

i ovaj snimak vam pokazuje

what the human penis would look like

kako bi ljudski penis izgledao

if it were the same size as that of a barnacle.

kada bi bio iste veličine kao onaj koji ima krpelj.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Mm-hm. (Laughter)

Mhm. (Smeh)

So with all of this diversity in structure,

Sa svom tom raznolikošću strukture,

one might think, then, that penises

neko bi onda pomislio da penisi

are fitting neatly into vaginas all over the place

valjano staju u vagine svuda

for the purposes of successful reproduction.

u svrhe uspešnog razmnožavanja.

Simply insert part A into slot B,

Prosto ubacite deo A u prorez B,

and we should all be good to go.

i gotovi smo.

But of course, that doesn't exactly happen,

Ali naravno, to se baš i ne dešava,

and that's because we can't just take form into account.

i to zato što ne možemo uzimati samo oblik u obzir.

We have to think about function as well,

Moramo da mislimo i na funkciju,

and when it comes to sex,

a kada se radi o seksu,

function relates to the contributions made

funkcija se odnosi na doprinos koji daju

by the gametes, or the sperm and the eggs.

gameti, ili sperma i jaja.

And these contributions are far from equal.

Ovi doprinosi su daleko od podjednakog.

Eggs are very expensive to make,

Veliki je trošak napraviti jaja,

so it makes sense for females to be very choosy

tako da ima smisla što su ženke veoma probirljive

about who she shares them with.

po pitanju toga sa kime ih dele.

Sperm, on the other hand, is abundant and cheap,

Sperme, sa druge strane, ima dosta i jeftina je,

so it makes more sense for males

tako da ima smisla da mužjaci

imaju strategiju "što više seksa, to bolje"

to have a more-sex-is-better strategy

kada se radi o postajanju ocem

when it comes to siring members

of future generations.

članova budućih generacija.

So how do animals cope

Pa kako se životinje suočavaju

with these very incongruent needs between the sexes?

sa ovim veoma neusaglašenim potrebama polova?

I mean, if a female doesn't choose a particular male,

Mislim, ako ženka ne odabere određenog mužjaka,

or if she has the ability to store sperm

ili ako ima sposobnost da skladišti spermu

and she simply has enough,

i prosto ima dovoljno,

then it makes more sense for her to spend her time

onda ima više smisla za nju da provodi vreme

doing other biologically relevant things:

radeći druge biološki značajne stvari:

avoiding predators, taking care of offspring,

izbegava grabljivice, brine o potomcima,

gathering and ingesting food.

prikuplja hranu i unosi je u organizam.

This is, of course, bad news for any male

Ovo je, naravno, loša vest za svakog mužjaka

who has yet to make a deposit in her sperm bank,

koji tek treba da ostavi depozit u njenoj banci sperme,

and this sets the scene for some pretty drastic strategies

i ovo priprema teren za neke prilično drastične strategije

for successful fertilization.

za uspešnu oplodnju.

This is bedbug sex,

Ovo je seks stenica,

and it's aptly termed traumatic insemination.

i zasluženo je dobio naziv traumatska oplodnja.

Males have a spiked, barbed penis

Mužjaci imaju zašiljeni, bodljikavi penis

that they literally stab into the female,

koji bukvalno zabadaju u ženku,

and they don't stab it anywhere near her vagina.

i ne zabadaju ga nigde u blizini vagine.

They stab it anywhere in her body,

Zabadaju ga bilo gde po njenom telu,

and the sperm simply migrates

i sperma se prosto prenosi

through her hemolymph to her ovaries.

kroz njenu hemolimfu do jajnika.

If a female gets too many stab wounds,

Ako ženka zadobije previše ubodnih rana,

or if a stab wound happens to become infected,

ili ako se desi da se rana inficira,

she can actually die from it.

može i umreti od toga.

Now if you've ever been out for a nice,

Ako ste ikada izašli u finu,

peaceful walk by the lake

mirnu šetnju pokraj jezera

and happened to see some ducks having sex,

i desilo se da vidite kako neke patke upražnjavaju seks,

you've undoubtedly been alarmed,

bez sumnje ste bili uznemireni,

because it looks like gang rape.

jer to izgleda kao silovanje bande.

And quite frankly, that's exactly what it is.

I iskreno, i jeste to.

A group of males will grab a female,

Grupa mužjaka će zgrabiti ženku,

hold her down,

držati je,

and ballistically ejaculate their spiral-shaped penis

i balistički ejakulirati iz svog penisa u obliku spirale

into her corkscrew-shaped vagina

u njenu vaginu oblika vadičepa

over and over and over again.

iznova i iznova i iznova.

From flaccid to ejaculation in less than a second.

Od mlitavosti do ejakulacije za manje od sekunde.

Now the female actually gets the last laugh, though,

Ženka se poslednja smeje, doduše,

because she can actually manipulate her posture

jer može da upravlja svojim držanjem

so as to allow the sperm of certain suitors

tako da omogući da sperma određenih udvarača

better access to her ovaries.

ima bolji pristup jajnicima.

Now, I like to share stories like this with my audiences

Volim da delim ovakve priče sa publikom

because, yeah, we humans,

jer smo mi ljudi

we tend to think sex, sex is fun, sex is good,

skloni da mislimo da je seks zabavan i dobar,

there's romance, and there's orgasm.

tu je romansa, tu je orgazam.

But orgasm didn't actually evolve

Ali orgazam se zapravo nije razvio

until about 65 million years ago

do pre oko 65 miliona godina

with the advent of mammals.

sa pojavom sisara.

But some animals had it going on quite a bit before that.

Ali kod nekih životinja se to odigravalo malo pre toga.

There are some more primitive ways

Postoje primitivniji načini

of pleasing one's partner.

zadovoljavanja partnera.

Earwig males have either

Mužjaci uholaže imaju

really large penile appendages

ili jako velike nastavke penisa

or really small ones.

ili veoma male.

It's a very simple genetically inherited trait

To je vrlo jednostavna genetski nasleđivana osobina

and the males are not otherwise any different.

i mužjaci se osim toga ni u čemu drugom ne razlikuju.

Those that have long penile appendages

Oni koji imaju dugačke nastavke penisa

are not bigger or stronger

nisu veći niti jači

or otherwise any different at all.

niti bilo kako drugačiji.

So going back to our biological minds, then,

Vraćajući se na naše biološke umove,

we might think that females should choose

možemo pomisliti da ženke treba da odaberu

to have sex with the guys that have the shorter appendages,

da imaju seksualne odnose sa momcima koji imaju kraće nastavke,

because she can use her time for other things:

jer može da koristi svoje vreme za druge stvari:

avoiding predators, taking care of young,

izbegavanje grabljivica, brigu o mladima,

finding and ingesting food.

nalaženje hrane i njeno unošenje u organizam.

But biologists have repeatedly observed

Ali biolozi su u više navrata uočili

that females choose to have sex

da ženke biraju da imaju odnose

with the males that have the long appendages.

sa mužjacima koji imaju dugačke nastavke.

Why do they do this?

Zašto to rade?

Well, according to the biological literature,

Pa, prema biološkoj literaturi:

"During copulation, the genitalia of certain males

"Za vreme snošaja, genitalije određenih mužjaka

may elicit more favorable female responses

mogu izazvati povoljnije reakcije ženki

through superior mechanical or stimulatory interaction

kroz mehaničku ili stimulatornu interakciju

with the female reproductive tract."

sa reproduktivnim traktom ženke."

Mm-hm.

Mhm.

These are Mexican guppies,

Ovo su meksički gupiji,

and what you see on their upper maxilla

i ono što vidite na njihovoj gornjoj vilici

is an outgrowth of epidermal filaments,

su izdanci epidermalnih vlakana,

and these filaments basically form

i ova vlakna praktično formiraju

a fish mustache, if you will.

riblje brkove, može se reći.

Now males have been observed to prod

Primećeno je da mužjaci probijaju

the female's genital opening

genitalni otvor ženki

prior to copulating with her,

pre snošaja sa njom,

and in what I have lovingly termed the Magnum, P.I. hypothesis,

i u onome što sam s ljubavlju nazvala hipotezom detektiva Magnuma,

females are overwhelmingly more likely to be found

ženke je sa velikom većinom verovatnije naći

with males that have these fish mustaches.

sa mužjacima koji imaju te riblje brkove.

A little guppy porn for you right there.

Evo malog gupi pornografije za vas.

So we've seen very different strategies

Dakle, videli smo veoma različite strategije

that males are using when it comes to

koje mužjaci koriste kada se radi

winning a female partner.

o osvajanju ženke partnera.

We've seen a coercion strategy in which sexual structures are used in a forceful way

Videli smo strategiju prinude

u kojoj se seksualne strukture koriste na nasilan način

to basically make a female have sex.

da bi primorali ženku na seks.

We've also seen a titillation strategy

Takođe smo videli strategiju uzbuđenja

where males are actually

gde mužjaci zaista

pleasing their female partners into choosing them

udovoljavaju ženskim partnerima kako bi ih odabrale

as a sex partner.

kao seksualnog partnera.

Now unfortunately, in the animal kingdom,

Nažalost, u životinjskom carstvu,

it's the coercion strategy that we see

strategija prisile je ona koju vidimo

time and time again.

iznova i iznova.

It's very common in many phyla,

Vrlo je učestala u mnogim filumima,

from invertebrates to avian species,

od beskičmenjaka do ptičjih vrsta,

mammals, and, of course, even in primates.

sisara, i naravno, čak i kod primata.

Now interestingly, there are a few mammalian species

Zanimljivo je da ima nekoliko vrsta sisara

in which females have evolved specialized genitalia

kod kojih su ženke razvile specijalizovane genitalije

that doesn't allow for sexual coercion to take place.

koje ne dozvoljavaju da se dogodi prinudan seks.

Female elephants and female hyenas

Ženke slona i hijene

have a penile clitoris,

imaju penisni klitoris,

or an enlarged clitoral tissue that hangs externally,

ili uvećano klitorisno tkivo koje visi spolja,

much like a penis,

dosta slično penisu,

and in fact it's very difficult to sex these animals

i zapravo je veoma teško odrediti pol ovih životinja

by merely looking at their external morphology.

samo gledajući njihovu spoljašnju morfologiju.

So before a male can insert his penis into a female's vagina,

Pre nego što mužjak može da stavi svoj penis u vaginu ženke,

she has to take this penile clitoris

ona mora da uzme taj penisni klitoris

and basically inside-out it in her own body.

i praktično da ga okrene u svoje telo.

I mean, imagine putting a penis into another penis.

Mislim, zamislite stavljanje penisa u drugi penis.

It's simply not going to happen

To se prosto neće dogoditi

unless the female is on board with the action.

osim ako je ženka saglasna sa akcijom.

Now, even more interesting is the fact

Još zanimljivija je činjenica

that elephant and hyena societies

da su društva slonova i hijena

are entirely matriarchal:

potpuno matrijarhalna:

they're run by females, groups of females,

vode ih ženke, grupe ženki,

sisters, aunts and offspring,

sestre, tetke i potomci,

and when young males attain sexual maturity,

a kada mladi mužjaci dostignu seksualnu zrelost,

they're turfed out of the group.

bivaju izbačeni iz grupe.

In hyena societies, adult males

U društvima hijena, odrasli mužjaci

are actually the lowest on the social scale.

su zapravo na najnižem položaju društvene lestvice.

They can take part in a kill only after

Mogu da uzmu deo plena tek nakon

everybody else, including the offspring.

svih drugih, uključujući najmlađe.

So it seems that when you take the penis power

Tako da izgleda da kada oduzmete moć penisa mužjaku,

away from a male,

oduzimate i svu socijalnu moć koju ima.

you take away all the social power he has.

So what are my take-home messages from my talk today?

Dakle, koje su poruke mog govora koje treba poneti kući danas?

Well, sex is just so much more

Pa, seks je mnogo više

than insert part A into slot B

od ubacivanja dela A u prorez B

and hope that the offspring run around everywhere.

i nade da će potomci trčati svuda okolo.

The sexual strategies and reproductive structures

Seksualne strategije i reproduktivne strukture

that we see in the animal kingdom basically

koje vidimo u životinjskom carstu u suštini diktiraju

dictate how males and females will react to each other,

kako će mužjaci i ženke reagovati jedni na druge,

which then dictates how populations and societies

što zatim uslovljava kako se populacije i društva

form and evolve.

formiraju i razvijaju.

So it may not be surprising to any of you

Zato možda nikome od vas neće biti iznenađenje

that animals, including ourselves,

da životinje, uključujući nas,

spend a good amount of time thinking about sex,

provode dosta vremena misleći na seks,

but what might surprise you is the extent to which

ali ono što vas može iznenaditi je opseg u kome

so many other aspects of their lives and our lives

su mnogi drugi aspekti njihovih i naših života

are influenced by it.

pod uticajem toga.

So thank you, and happy daydreaming.

Hvala vam, i srećno maštanje.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)