The birds and the bees are just the beginning | Carin Bondar

翻译人员: 晨星 徐 校对人员: Li Li

Anyone in the room thought about sex today?

在座的各位今天有没有想到过性？

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Yeah, you did.

哈哈，的确如此

Thank you for putting your hand up over there.

谢谢你们把手举起来

Well, I'm here to provide you with

在这里我为大家

some biological validation

不堪的白日梦

for your sordid daydreams.

提供一些生物验证

I'm here to tell you a few things

我要告诉你们一些事

that you might not have known about wild sex.

你不知道的有关野生动物的性生活

Now, when humans think about sex,

当人类想到性的时候

male and female forms

男人和女人的形式

are generally what come to mind,

这通常是他们首先想到的

but for many millions of years,

但上百万年来

such specific categories didn't even exist.

这样细致的分类从没存在过

Sex was a mere fusion of bodies

性是多个生物体之间的

or a trickle of DNA

一种身体结合

shared between two or more beings.

或是DNA的产生

It wasn't until about 500 million years ago

直到5亿年后

that we start to see structures akin to a penis

我们才开始研究阴茎的结构

or a thing that gives DNA out,

产生DNA的物质

and a vagina, something that receives it.

阴道，以及

Now invariably, you're probably thinking about

毫无疑问，你们或许在想

what belongs to our own species,

什么是属于我们的物种

these very familiar structures,

这种为人熟知的结构

but the diversity that we see in sexual structures

但是在动物界

in the animal kingdom that has evolved

性别结构的多样性已经进化到

in response to the multitude of factors

可以应对环境繁殖

surrounding reproduction

所带来的多种因素

is pretty mind-blowing.

这的确令人振奋不已

Penile diversity is especially profuse.

阴茎的多样性随处可见

So this is a paper nautilus.

这是船艄（一种软体动物）

It's a close relative of squid and octopus,

是鱿鱼和章鱼的近亲

and males have a hectocotylus.

公船艄会有一个交接腕

Just what is a hectocotylus?

那什么是交接腕？

A detachable, swimming penis.

一种可拆分的、会游动的阴茎

It leaves the [body of the male],

它会离开公船艄的躯体

finds the female through pheromonal cues in the water,

通过水中的信息素线索找到异性

attaches itself to her body

把自己吸附在异性身上

and deposits the sperm.

储存精子

For many decades, biologists actually felt

几十年来，生物学家一直认为

that the hectocotylus was a separate organism altogether.

交接腕是一个完全分离的生物体

Now, the tapir is a mammal from South America.

貘是一种南美的哺乳动物

And the tapir has a prehensile penis.

它有一个可以盘卷东西的阴茎

It actually has a level of dexterity in its penis

这个阴茎很灵活

much akin to what we have with our hands.

非常类似于我们的手

And it uses this dexterity

它运用这种灵活性

to bypass the vagina altogether

可以迂回阴道

and deposit sperm directly into the female's uterus,

直接把精子储存在异性的子宫里

not to mention it's a pretty good size.

更别说这是一个非常大的阴茎

The biggest penis in the animal kingdom,

动物界最大的阴茎

however, is not that of the tapir.

却不是貘的阴茎

The biggest penis-to-body-size ratio

动物界最悬殊的

in the animal kingdom actually belongs

阴茎身体比例

to the meager beach barnacle,

是看上去可怜巴巴的海滩藤壶

and this video is actually showing you

这个视频向我们展示了

what the human penis would look like

如果人类的阴茎也这么大的话

if it were the same size as that of a barnacle.

会是什么样子

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Mm-hm. (Laughter)

嗯嗯 （笑声）

So with all of this diversity in structure,

鉴于结构的多样性

one might think, then, that penises

有人会想

are fitting neatly into vaginas all over the place

为了能够成功地繁衍后代

for the purposes of successful reproduction.

阴茎必须得很齐整地进入阴道

Simply insert part A into slot B,

如果仅仅是把A插入B槽口

and we should all be good to go.

那就好办多了

But of course, that doesn't exactly happen,

当然，这不太可能会发生

and that's because we can't just take form into account.

因为我们不能仅仅只将形状大小考虑进去

We have to think about function as well,

还得考虑功能的问题

and when it comes to sex,

当提及性的时候

function relates to the contributions made

功能与配子或精子和卵子做出的贡献

by the gametes, or the sperm and the eggs.

密不可分

And these contributions are far from equal.

但他们所做的贡献并不是对等的

Eggs are very expensive to make,

卵子并不容易产生

so it makes sense for females to be very choosy

这使得雌性在和谁分享卵子的事上

about who she shares them with.

非常挑剔

Sperm, on the other hand, is abundant and cheap,

另一方面，精子很多，显得廉价

so it makes more sense for males

这使得雄性

to have a more-sex-is-better strategy

在考虑繁衍下一代时

when it comes to siring members

需要拿出

of future generations.

性越多越好的策略

So how do animals cope

那么动物是如何应对

with these very incongruent needs between the sexes?

两性间这种不平衡的需求？

I mean, if a female doesn't choose a particular male,

我的意思是，如果雌性不局限于某个特定的同伴

or if she has the ability to store sperm

或是她有能力储存精子

and she simply has enough,

并且拥有的量已足

then it makes more sense for her to spend her time

那么她会做些

doing other biologically relevant things:

其它生物活动

avoiding predators, taking care of offspring,

躲避捕食者，培育下一代

gathering and ingesting food.

采集和消化食物

This is, of course, bad news for any male

这对那些还没把精子储存到

who has yet to make a deposit in her sperm bank,

雌性身体的雄性来说确实不是什么好事

and this sets the scene for some pretty drastic strategies

为了能够成功授精

for successful fertilization.

雄性们不得不使出一些策略

This is bedbug sex,

这是臭虫在做爱

and it's aptly termed traumatic insemination.

这被恰如其分地称为创伤性授精

Males have a spiked, barbed penis

雄性有一个尖尖的类似倒钩的阴茎

that they literally stab into the female,

他们通常直接插入雌性身体中

and they don't stab it anywhere near her vagina.

而且并不刺入阴茎附近

They stab it anywhere in her body,

雄性把阴茎很随意地刺入雌性身体

and the sperm simply migrates

因此精子只是通过

through her hemolymph to her ovaries.

她的血淋巴进入卵巢

If a female gets too many stab wounds,

如果雌性的刺伤很多

or if a stab wound happens to become infected,

或是这些刺伤受到感染的话

she can actually die from it.

她可能会因此死去

Now if you've ever been out for a nice,

如果你在湖边

peaceful walk by the lake

悠闲自乐地散步

and happened to see some ducks having sex,

看到鸭子们做爱

you've undoubtedly been alarmed,

你一定会感到很震惊

because it looks like gang rape.

因为这看起来像群奸

And quite frankly, that's exactly what it is.

老实说，事实的确如此

A group of males will grab a female,

一大群雄性会抓住一个雌性

hold her down,

把她按下去

and ballistically ejaculate their spiral-shaped penis

然后不停地用自己螺旋状的阴茎

into her corkscrew-shaped vagina

向雌性同一形状的阴道射入精子

over and over and over again.

一遍又一遍

From flaccid to ejaculation in less than a second.

从一开始的疲软无力道后来的持续射精，这中间的过程不超过一秒

Now the female actually gets the last laugh, though,

但是雌性会赢得最后的胜利

because she can actually manipulate her posture

因为她可以转变自己的境况

so as to allow the sperm of certain suitors

选择那些适宜的精子

better access to her ovaries.

进入自己的卵巢

Now, I like to share stories like this with my audiences

现在我要和你们分享一些故事

because, yeah, we humans,

因为，我们人类

we tend to think sex, sex is fun, sex is good,

总是认为性很好，性充满着乐趣

there's romance, and there's orgasm.

充满着浪漫，充满着性高潮

But orgasm didn't actually evolve

但直到6500万年后

until about 65 million years ago

性高潮才随着哺乳动物的出现

with the advent of mammals.

有所发展

But some animals had it going on quite a bit before that.

但是有些动物在此之前就有所变化

There are some more primitive ways

有一些颇为原始的

of pleasing one's partner.

取悦异性的方法

Earwig males have either

雄性蠼螋的阴茎下部

really large penile appendages

要么很大

or really small ones.

要么很小

It's a very simple genetically inherited trait

这是一种非常简单的基因遗传特性

and the males are not otherwise any different.

其他方面，雄性没有任何差别

Those that have long penile appendages

那些有着长长的阴茎下部的雄性

are not bigger or stronger

看上去并不比其它的高大

or otherwise any different at all.

或是有着其它的不同

So going back to our biological minds, then,

根据生物理念

we might think that females should choose

我们或许认为雌性应当选择

to have sex with the guys that have the shorter appendages,

和那些阴茎下部比较小的雄性做爱

because she can use her time for other things:

这样她可以有更多的时间做其它事

avoiding predators, taking care of young,

躲避捕食者，照顾下一代

finding and ingesting food.

收集和消化食物

But biologists have repeatedly observed

但是生物学家多次注意到

that females choose to have sex

雌性会选择

with the males that have the long appendages.

和那些阴茎下部较长的雄性做爱

Why do they do this?

她们为什么这么做呢？

Well, according to the biological literature,

好吧，根据一些生物学方面的专著

"During copulation, the genitalia of certain males

“在交配过程中

may elicit more favorable female responses

通过一些机械的或是刺激性的交互作用

through superior mechanical or stimulatory interaction

一些雄性的生殖器会运用雌性生殖系统

with the female reproductive tract."

使她们产生更为愉悦的反应。”

Mm-hm.

嗯嗯

These are Mexican guppies,

这是墨西哥古比鱼

and what you see on their upper maxilla

你们可以从它们的上颌骨

is an outgrowth of epidermal filaments,

看到一个表皮细丝的分支

and these filaments basically form

这些细丝形成了

a fish mustache, if you will.

一个鱼须

Now males have been observed to prod

我们已经注意到

the female's genital opening

雄性会在交欢前

prior to copulating with her,

把阴茎刺入雌性的生殖口

and in what I have lovingly termed the Magnum, P.I. hypothesis,

我喜欢把它命名为“夏威夷神探假设” （《夏威夷神探》是美国的一部电视剧）

females are overwhelmingly more likely to be found

雌性会更喜欢和那些有鱼须的雄性

with males that have these fish mustaches.

蹲在一起

A little guppy porn for you right there.

这是一个古比鱼的性爱录像

So we've seen very different strategies

为了赢得一个异性伴侣

that males are using when it comes to

雄性会使用

winning a female partner.

多种策略

We've seen a coercion strategy in which sexual structures are used in a forceful way

我们知道有一种强制策略使得性以一种强迫的方式

to basically make a female have sex.

与雌性发生关系

We've also seen a titillation strategy

还有一种取悦策略

where males are actually

雄性会

pleasing their female partners into choosing them

通过讨好异性

as a sex partner.

来赢得她们的芳心

Now unfortunately, in the animal kingdom,

不幸的是，在动物界

it's the coercion strategy that we see

强制策略

time and time again.

最为常见

It's very common in many phyla,

在各个物种中都可以看到

from invertebrates to avian species,

比如无脊椎动物、鸟类

mammals, and, of course, even in primates.

哺乳动物，甚至在灵长类也很常见

Now interestingly, there are a few mammalian species

有趣的是，在一些哺乳类物种中

in which females have evolved specialized genitalia

雌性进化出一些特定的生殖器

that doesn't allow for sexual coercion to take place.

使得性强迫无法发生

Female elephants and female hyenas

母大象和母鬣狗

have a penile clitoris,

有一个勃起的阴蒂

or an enlarged clitoral tissue that hangs externally,

或是一个外挂的扩大的阴蒂组织

much like a penis,

很像阴茎

and in fact it's very difficult to sex these animals

其实很难仅仅从外在区分

by merely looking at their external morphology.

这些动物的性别

So before a male can insert his penis into a female's vagina,

因此一个雄性在把自己的阴茎插入雄性的卵巢前

she has to take this penile clitoris

雌性会把自己勃起的阴蒂

and basically inside-out it in her own body.

伸出体外

I mean, imagine putting a penis into another penis.

你可以想象，把一个阴茎放在另一个上面

It's simply not going to happen

这事不太可能发生

unless the female is on board with the action.

除非雌性同意

Now, even more interesting is the fact

更为有趣的是

that elephant and hyena societies

大象界和鬣狗界

are entirely matriarchal:

是一个母系社会

they're run by females, groups of females,

它们有一群雌性带领着

sisters, aunts and offspring,

姐妹，姑姑阿姨，以及她们的子孙

and when young males attain sexual maturity,

当年轻的雄性性发育成熟后

they're turfed out of the group.

就会被驱逐出群体

In hyena societies, adult males

在鬣狗界

are actually the lowest on the social scale.

成年雄性的地位最低

They can take part in a kill only after

在猎杀中，他们总是排在最后

everybody else, including the offspring.

甚至不如自己的后代

So it seems that when you take the penis power

由此可见，如果雄性

away from a male,

没有了阴茎

you take away all the social power he has.

他就什么社会能力都没了

So what are my take-home messages from my talk today?

那么今天我要告诉大家什么呢？

Well, sex is just so much more

性不只仅仅是

than insert part A into slot B

把A插入B槽口

and hope that the offspring run around everywhere.

然后子孙满堂

The sexual strategies and reproductive structures

我们在动物界

that we see in the animal kingdom basically

看到的性策略和生殖结构

dictate how males and females will react to each other,

告诉我们两性是如何相互作用的

which then dictates how populations and societies

也告诉我们人口和社会

form and evolve.

如何形成并演变的

So it may not be surprising to any of you

所以动物，包括我们自己

that animals, including ourselves,

花费很多时间想着性的问题

spend a good amount of time thinking about sex,

一点不足为奇

but what might surprise you is the extent to which

但让你们感到惊讶的是

so many other aspects of their lives and our lives

性会在多大程度上

are influenced by it.

影响我们以及它们生活的方方面面

So thank you, and happy daydreaming.

谢谢你们。做个好梦！

(Applause)

（掌声）