Bruce Feiler: Agile programming -- for your family

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Prevodilac: Mile Živković Lektor: Anja Saric

So here's the good news about families.

Evo dobre vesti vezane za porodicu.

The last 50 years have seen a revolution

U proteklih 50 godina prisustvovali smo revoluciji toga

in what it means to be a family.

šta znači biti porodica.

Postoje pastorske porodice, porodice sa usvojenom decom,

We have blended families, adopted families,

we have nuclear families living in separate houses

nuklearne porodice koje žive u odvojenim kućama

and divorced families living in the same house.

i razvedene porodice koje žive u istoj kući.

But through it all, the family has grown stronger.

Ali uprkos svemu ovome, porodica je postala jača.

Eight in 10 say the family they have today

Osmoro od desetoro ljudi kažu da je porodica koju imaju danas

is as strong or stronger than the family they grew up in.

isto toliko jaka ili još jača od porodice u kojoj su odrasli.

Now, here's the bad news.

A evo i loših vesti.

Nearly everyone is completely overwhelmed

Skoro svi su u potpunosti savladani

by the chaos of family life.

haosom koji vlada u porodičnom životu.

Every parent I know, myself included,

Svi roditelji koje znam, uključujući i mene,

feels like we're constantly playing defense.

osećaju se kao da konstantno igraju u odbrani.

Just when our kids stop teething, they start having tantrums.

Čim našoj deci prestanu da rastu zubi, javljaju se nastupi besa.

Just when they stop needing our help taking a bath,

Čim im više ne treba naša pomoć pri kupanju,

they need our help dealing with cyberstalking or bullying.

potrebna im je pomoć da se izbore sa sajber-uhođenjem ili maltretiranjem.

And here's the worst news of all.

A evo najgore vesti od svih.

Our children sense we're out of control.

Naša deca su svesna da gubimo kontrolu.

Ellen Galinsky of the Families and Work Institute

Elen Galinski sa Instituta za porodicu i rad

asked 1,000 children, "If you were granted

pitala je 1000 dece: "Da imate

one wish about your parents, what would it be?"

jednu želju u vezi sa vašim roditeljima, šta bi ona bila?"

The parents predicted the kids would say,

Roditelji su pretpostavili da će deca reći

spending more time with them.

da je to da provode više vremena s njima.

They were wrong. The kids' number one wish?

Pogrešili su. Šta je dečija želja broj jedan?

That their parents be less tired and less stressed.

Da im roditelji budu odmorniji i pod manjim stresom.

So how can we change this dynamic?

Kako možemo da promenimo ovu dinamiku?

Are there concrete things we can do to reduce stress,

Da li postoje neke određene stvari kojima možemo da umanjimo stres

draw our family closer,

i približimo naše porodice

and generally prepare our children to enter the world?

i uopšteno spremimo našu decu za ulazak u svet?

I spent the last few years trying to answer that question,

Proveo sam proteklih nekoliko godina pokušavajući da nađem odgovor,

traveling around, meeting families, talking to scholars,

putovao sam, upoznavao porodice, razgovarao sa naučnicima,

experts ranging from elite peace negotiators

stručnjacima, od elitnih mirovnih pregovarača

to Warren Buffett's bankers to the Green Berets.

preko uspešnih bankara, do američkih vojnika.

I was trying to figure out, what do happy families do right

Pokušavao sam da shvatim šta srećne porodice rade drugačije

and what can I learn from them to make my family happier?

i šta mogu da naučim od njih kako bi moja porodica bila srećnija.

I want to tell you about one family that I met,

Želim da vam kažem nešto o jednoj porodici

and why I think they offer clues.

koju sam sreo i zašto mislim da nam ona nudi smernice.

At 7 p.m. on a Sunday in Hidden Springs, Idaho,

U 7 časova popodne nedeljom u Hiden Springsu, u Ajdahu,

where the six members of the Starr family are sitting down

šestoro članova porodice Star zasedaju

to the highlight of their week: the family meeting.

za vrhunac njihove nedelje: porodični sastanak.

The Starrs are a regular American family

Porodica Star je prosečna američka porodica

with their share of regular American family problems.

sa prosečnim problemima američke porodice.

David is a software engineer. Eleanor takes care

Dejvid je softverski inženjer. Elenor brine

of their four children, ages 10 to 15.

o njihovih četvoro dece, starosti između 10 i 15 godina.

One of those kids tutors math on the far side of town.

Jedno od te dece ide na matematiku na suprotnom delu grada.

One has lacrosse on the near side of town.

Jedno trenira lakros u blizini.

One has Asperger syndrome. One has ADHD.

Jedno pati od Aspergerovog sindroma. Jedno ima hiperkinetički poremećaj.

"We were living in complete chaos," Eleanor said.

"Živeli smo u potpunom haosu," rekla je Elenor.

What the Starrs did next, though, was surprising.

Sledeće što je porodica Star uradila, ipak, bilo je iznenađujuće.

Instead of turning to friends or relatives,

Umesto da su se obratili prijateljima ili rođacima,

they looked to David's workplace.

oni su pogledali Dejvidovo radno mesto.

They turned to a cutting-edge program called agile development

Osvrnuli su se na inovativan program - agilni razvoj,

that was just spreading from manufacturers in Japan

koji se u tom trenutku širio od proizvođača u Japanu

to startups in Silicon Valley.

do startap kompanija u Silikonskoj dolini.

In agile, workers are organized into small groups

U agilnom okruženju, radnici su podeljeni u male grupe

and do things in very short spans of time.

i rade stvari u veoma kratkom vremenskom roku.

So instead of having executives issue grand proclamations,

Umesto da direktori izdaju velike proglase,

the team in effect manages itself.

tim u stvari upravlja samim sobom.

Postoji stalna povratna informacija. Dnevne sesije o najnovijim informacijama.

You have constant feedback. You have daily update sessions.

You have weekly reviews. You're constantly changing.

Postoje nedeljni pregledi. Stalno se menjate.

David said when they brought this system into their home,

Dejvid je rekao da se kada je uveo ovaj sistem u njihov dom,

the family meetings in particular increased communication,

posebno porodične sastanke, komunikacija poboljšala,

decreased stress, and made everybody

stres smanjio i svako je bio

happier to be part of the family team.

srećniji što je deo porodičnog tima.

When my wife and I adopted these family meetings and other techniques

Kada smo moja supruga i ja usvojili ove porodične sastanke i druge tehnike

into the lives of our then-five-year-old twin daughters,

u živote naših tada petogodišnjih bliznakinja,

it was the biggest single change we made since our daughters were born.

to je bila najveća promena od kada su naše ćerke rođene.

And these meetings had this effect

Ovi sastanci su imali toliki efekat,

while taking under 20 minutes.

a trajali su manje od 20 minuta.

So what is Agile, and why can it help

Šta je onda agilno, i zašto ono može da pomogne

with something that seems so different, like families?

s nečim što deluje toliko različito, kao što su porodice?

In 1983, Jeff Sutherland was a technologist

1983. Džef Saderlend bio je tehnolog

at a financial firm in New England.

u finansijskoj firmi u Novoj Engleskoj.

He was very frustrated with how software got designed.

Bio je veoma frustriran načinom na koji se vršio dizajn softvera.

Companies followed the waterfall method, right,

Kompanije su pratile metodu vodopada,

in which executives issued orders that slowly trickled down

u kojoj su nadređeni izdavali naređenja, koja su polako curela

to programmers below,

ka programerima pod njima

and no one had ever consulted the programmers.

i niko se nikada nije konsultovao sa programerima.

Eighty-three percent of projects failed.

83 procenta projekata je bilo neuspešno.

They were too bloated or too out of date

Bili su preobimni ili su previše kasnili

by the time they were done.

do vremena kada bi ih dovršili.

Sutherland wanted to create a system where

Saderlend je želeo da stvori sistem u kome

ideas didn't just percolate down but could percolate up from the bottom

ideje neće teći samo ka dole, nego će se i uspinjati na gore

and be adjusted in real time.

i biti prilagođavane u realnom vremenu.

He read 30 years of Harvard Business Review

Iščitao je 30 godina Harvardskog poslovnog časopisa

before stumbling upon an article in 1986

kada je naleteo na članak iz 1986.

called "The New New Product Development Game."

pod nazivom: "Nova nova igra razvoja proizvoda".

U njemu je stajalo da se tempo poslovanja ubrzava -

It said that the pace of business was quickening --

and by the way, this was in 1986 --

imajte na umu, ovo je bilo 1986. -

and the most successful companies were flexible.

i da su najuspešnije kompanije fleksibilne.

It highlighted Toyota and Canon

Tojota i Kenon su izdvojene, a njihovi

and likened their adaptable, tight-knit teams to rugby scrums.

usko povezani, prilagodljivi timovi poređeni su sa gomilom u ragbiju.

As Sutherland told me, we got to that article,

Kao što mi je Saderlend rekao, stigli smo do tog članka

and said, "That's it."

i rekli: "To je to."

In Sutherland's system, companies don't use

Prema Saderlendovom sistemu, kompanije nemaju

large, massive projects that take two years.

velike, masivne projekte koji traju po dve godine.

They do things in small chunks.

One to rade rasparčano.

Nothing takes longer than two weeks.

Ništa ne traje duže od dve nedelje.

So instead of saying, "You guys go off into that bunker

Umesto da kažemo: "Vi momci idite u ono skladište

and come back with a cell phone or a social network,"

i dođite nam sa telefonom ili društvenom mrežom,"

you say, "You go off and come up with one element,

mi govorimo: "Idite i smislite jedan element

i donesite nam ga. Hajde da popričamo o njemu. Da ga prilagodimo."

then bring it back. Let's talk about it. Let's adapt."

You succeed or fail quickly.

Uspeh ili neuspeh se dešava brzo.

Today, agile is used in a hundred countries,

Danas, agilni pristup koristi se u stotinu država

and it's sweeping into management suites.

i zalazi i u modele upravljanja.

Inevitably, people began taking some of these techniques

Neizbežno, ljudi počinju da preuzimaju neke

and applying it to their families.

od ovih tehnika i primenjuju ih na svoje porodice.

You had blogs pop up, and some manuals were written.

Pojavilo se nekoliko blogova i pisali su uputstva.

Even the Sutherlands told me that they had

Čak mi je i Saderlend rekao da su oni

an Agile Thanksgiving,

imali agilan Dan zahvalnosti,

where you had one group of people working on the food,

gde je jedna grupa ljudi spremala hranu,

one setting the table, and one greeting visitors at the door.

jedna postavljala sto, a jedna na vratima pozdravljala goste.

Sutherland said it was the best Thanksgiving ever.

Saderlend je rekao da je to bio najbolji Dan zahvalnosti ikada.

So let's take one problem that families face,

Hajde da uzmemo jedan problem sa kojim se porodice suočavaju,

crazy mornings, and talk about how agile can help.

užurbana jutra, i hajde da vidimo kako agilnost može da pomogne.

A key plank is accountability,

Ključan element je obaveštenost i zato

so teams use information radiators,

timovi koriste odašiljače informacija,

these large boards in which everybody is accountable.

ogromne table na kojima se nalaze svi članovi.

So the Starrs, in adapting this to their home,

Porodica Star je ovo prilagodila svom domu

created a morning checklist

stvaranjem jutarnjeg spiska obaveza

in which each child is expected to tick off chores.

na kome svako dete obeležava završene poslove.

Onog jutra kada sam ih posetio, Elenor je sišla niz stepenice,

So on the morning I visited, Eleanor came downstairs,

poured herself a cup of coffee, sat in a reclining chair,

nasula sebi šolju kafe, sela na stolicu sa naslonom

and she sat there,

i dok je sedela tamo

kind of amiably talking to each of her children

ljubazno je razgovarala sa svakim detetom

as one after the other they came downstairs,

kako su se jedno po jedno spuštali sa sprata,

checked the list, made themselves breakfast,

označavali listu i spremali sebi doručak,

checked the list again, put the dishes in the dishwasher,

ponovo označavali listu, stavili posuđe u mašinu,

rechecked the list, fed the pets or whatever chores they had,

vratili se na listu, nahranili ljubimce ili obavili neku drugu obavezu,

checked the list once more, gathered their belongings,

joj jednom obeležili listu, skupili stvari

and made their way to the bus.

i krenuli na autobus.

It was one of the most astonishing family dynamics I have ever seen.

Bila je to jedna od najzapanjujućih porodičnih dinamika koje sam video.

And when I strenuously objected this would never work in our house,

I kada sam uporno tvrdio da ovo nikad ne bi funkcionisalo kod nas,

our kids needed way too much monitoring,

da je našoj deci potrebno mnogo više nadgledanja,

Eleanor looked at me.

Elenor me je pogledala.

"That's what I thought," she said.

"To sam i ja mislila".

"I told David, 'keep your work out of my kitchen.'

"Rekla sam Dejvidu: 'Drži posao podalje od moje kuhinje.'

But I was wrong."

Ali sam pogrešila."

So I turned to David: "So why does it work?"

Okrenuo sam se ka Dejvidu: "Zašto ovo radi?"

He said, "You can't underestimate the power of doing this."

Rekao je: "Ne smemo potcenjivati snagu ovoga."

And he made a checkmark.

Otkačio je stavku na listi.

He said, "In the workplace, adults love it.

Rekao je: "Odrasli vole ovo da rade na radnom mestu.

With kids, it's heaven."

Sa decom, ovo je raj."

The week we introduced a morning checklist into our house,

One nedelje kada smo uveli jutarnju listu u naš dom,

it cut parental screaming in half. (Laughter)

roditeljska vika se prepolovila. (Smeh)

But the real change didn't come until we had these family meetings.

Ali se stvarna promena nije desila dok nismo uveli porodične sastanke.

So following the agile model, we ask three questions:

Prateći agilni model, postavljamo tri pitanja:

Šta je funkcionisalo ove nedelje u našoj porodici,

What worked well in our family this week,

what didn't work well, and what will we agree to work on in the week ahead?

šta nije funkcionisalo i na čemu se slažemo da ćemo raditi sledeće nedelje?

Everyone throws out suggestions

Svako iznosi predloge

and then we pick two to focus on.

i biramo dva na koja se usredređujemo.

And suddenly the most amazing things started coming out of our daughters' mouths.

I iznenada, naše devojčice su počele da govore najneverovatnije stvari.

What worked well this week?

Šta je funkcionisalo ove nedelje?

Getting over our fear of riding bikes. Making our beds.

Prevazišli smo strah od voženja bicikala. Nameštanja kreveta.

What didn't work well? Our math sheets,

Šta nije funkcionisalo? Zadaci iz matematike,

or greeting visitors at the door.

pozdravljanje gostiju na vratima.

Like a lot of parents, our kids are something like Bermuda Triangles.

Kao i u većini porodica, naša deca su nešto poput Bermudskog trougla.

Like, thoughts and ideas go in, but none ever comes out,

Misli i ideje ulaze, ali nikad nijedna ne izlazi.

I mean at least not that are revealing.

Barem ne neke od značaja.

This gave us access suddenly to their innermost thoughts.

Ovo nam je odjednom pružilo pristup njihovim najskrivenijim mislima.

Ali nas je najviše iznenadilo kada smo se

But the most surprising part was when we turned to,

what are we going to work on in the week ahead?

osvrnuli na to šta ćemo da radimo naredne nedelje.

You know, the key idea of agile is that

Znate, ključ agilnosti je da timovi

teams essentially manage themselves,

suštinski upravljaju samim sobom

and it works in software and it turns out that it works with kids.

i to radi u razvoju softvera i ispostavilo se da radi i sa decom.

Our kids love this process.

Naša deca vole ovaj proces.

So they would come up with all these ideas.

Dolazili bi nam sa mnogim idejama.

You know, greet five visitors at the door this week,

Pozdraviti pet gostiju na vratima ove nedelje,

get an extra 10 minutes of reading before bed.

čitati 10 minuta više pre spavanja.

Kick someone, lose desserts for a month.

Mesec dana bez deserta ako šutnu nekoga.

It turns out, by the way, our girls are little Stalins.

Ispostavilo se, inače, da su naša deca mali Staljini.

We constantly have to kind of dial them back.

Stalno smo morali da ih usmeravamo.

Now look, naturally there's a gap between

Vidite, prirodno je da postoji jaz između

their kind of conduct in these meetings and their behavior the rest of the week,

njihovog ponašanja na ovim sastancima i ponašanja tokom ostatka sedmice,

but the truth is it didn't really bother us.

ali to nama nije zaista smetalo.

It felt like we were kind of laying these underground cables

Imali smo osećaj kao da postavljamo neke podzemne veze

that wouldn't light up their world for many years to come.

koje neće osvetljavati njihov svet još godinama.

Three years later -- our girls are almost eight now --

3 godine kasnije - naše devojčice imaju skoro 8 godina -

We're still holding these meetings.

još uvek održavamo ove sastanke.

My wife counts them among her most treasured moments as a mom.

Moja supruga ih ubraja među najdraže trenutke majčinstva.

So what did we learn?

Šta smo naučili?

The word "agile" entered the lexicon in 2001

Reč "agilno" ušla je u rečnik 2001.

when Jeff Sutherland and a group of designers

kada su se Džef Saderlend i grupa dizajnera

met in Utah and wrote a 12-point Agile Manifesto.

susreli u Juti i sastavili Manifesto agila u 12 tačaka.

I think the time is right for an Agile Family Manifesto.

Mislim da je stiglo vreme za Manifesto porodičnog agila.

I've taken some ideas from the Starrs and from many other families I met.

Preuzeo sam neke od ideja od Starovih i drugih porodica sa kojima sam se susreo.

I'm proposing three planks.

Predlažem tri osnovna načela.

Plank number one: Adapt all the time.

Načelo broj jedan: Stalno se prilagođavajte.

When I became a parent, I figured, you know what?

Kada sam postao roditelj, mislio sam, znate šta?

We'll set a few rules and we'll stick to them.

Postavićemo nekoliko pravila i držaćemo ih se.

That assumes, as parents, we can anticipate every problem that's going to arise.

To pretpostavlja, da mi, kao roditelji, predviđamo svaki problem koji će naići.

We can't. What's great about the agile system

To je nemoguće. Ono što je sjajno u agilnom sistemu je

is you build in a system of change

što se on gradi tokom promena

tako da možete da reagujete na ono što se dešava u realnom vremenu.

so that you can react to what's happening to you in real time.

It's like they say in the Internet world:

Kao što kažu na internetu:

if you're doing the same thing today you were doing six months ago,

ako danas radite istu stvar koju ste radili pre šest meseci,

you're doing the wrong thing.

ne radite pravu stvar.

Parents can learn a lot from that.

Roditelji mogu mnogo da nauče iz toga.

But to me, "adapt all the time" means something deeper, too.

Ali za mene "stalno prilagođavanje" znači i nešto više.

We have to break parents out of this straitjacket

Moramo da oslobodimo roditelje od sulude ideje

that the only ideas we can try at home

da su jedine ideje koje možemo da pokušamo kod kuće

are ones that come from shrinks or self-help gurus

one koje dolaze od psihologa ili gurua za samopomoć

or other family experts.

ili drugih porodičnih stručnjaka.

The truth is, their ideas are stale,

Njihove ideje su zastarele,

whereas in all these other worlds there are these new ideas

dok se svuda oko nas nalaze nove ideje

to make groups and teams work effectively.

pomoću kojih grupe i timovi uspešno sarađuju.

Let's just take a few examples.

Uzmimo nekoliko primera.

Let's take the biggest issue of all: family dinner.

Uzmimo najveći problem: porodični ručak.

Everybody knows that having family dinner

Svi znaju da su porodični ručkovi

with your children is good for the kids.

dobri za decu.

But for so many of us, it doesn't work in our lives.

Ali za mnoge od nas to nije izvodljivo.

Upoznao sam poznatog kuvara u Nju Orleansu koji je rekao:

I met a celebrity chef in New Orleans who said,

"No problem, I'll just time-shift family dinner.

"Nema problema, pomeriću porodični ručak.

I'm not home, can't make family dinner?

Nisam kod kuće i ne mogu da kuvam?

We'll have family breakfast. We'll meet for a bedtime snack.

Imaćemo porodični doručak. Sastaćemo se za užinu pred spavanje.

We'll make Sunday meals more important."

Nedeljni ručak će biti važniji."

And the truth is, recent research backs him up.

Skorašnja istraživanja podupiru njegove reči.

It turns out there's only 10 minutes of productive time

Ispostavilo se da postoji samo 10 minuta produktivnog vremena

in any family meal.

prilikom bilo kog porodičnog obroka.

The rest of it's taken up with "take your elbows off the table" and "pass the ketchup."

Ostatak vremena oduzima "pomeri laktove sa stola" i "dodaj kečap".

You can take that 10 minutes and move it

Tih 10 minuta može se pomeriti

to any part of the day and have the same benefit.

na bilo koji deo dana i imaće isti doprinos.

So time-shift family dinner. That's adaptability.

Pomeranje porodičnog ručka. To je prilagođavanje.

An environmental psychologist told me,

Psiholog okoline mi je rekao:

"If you're sitting in a hard chair on a rigid surface,

"Ako sedite na tvrdoj stolici na krutoj površini

you'll be more rigid.

i vi ćete biti kruti."

If you're sitting on a cushioned chair, you'll be more open."

Ako sedite na mekoj stolici, bićete otvoreniji."

Rekla mi je: "Kada vaspitavate decu,

She told me, "When you're discipling your children,

sit in an upright chair with a cushioned surface.

sedite u stolici sa ravnim naslonom koja ima jastuk.

The conversation will go better."

Razgovor će bolje teći."

My wife and I actually moved where we sit for difficult conversations

Supruga i ja smo promenili mesto gde vodimo teške razgovore

because I was sitting above in the power position.

jer sam ja sedeo više, na mestu moći.

So move where you sit. That's adaptability.

Promenite mesto na kome sedite. To je prilagođavanje.

The point is there are all these new ideas out there.

Suština je da postoje sve ove nove ideje.

We've got to hook them up with parents.

Moramo ih povezati sa roditeljstvom.

So plank number one: Adapt all the time.

Dakle, prvo načelo: Stalno se prilagođavajte.

Be flexible, be open-minded, let the best ideas win.

Budite fleksibilni, otvoreni, dozvolite da pobedi najbolja ideja.

Plank number two: Empower your children.

Načelo broj dva: Osposobite svoju decu.

Our instinct as parents is to order our kids around.

Naš instinkt kao roditelja je da naređujemo deci.

It's easier, and frankly, we're usually right.

Lakše je, a iskreno, obično smo u pravu.

There's a reason that few systems have been more

Postoji razlog zašto je porodica

waterfall over time than the family.

jedan od sistema koji je najviše nalik vodopadu.

But the single biggest lesson we learned

Ali najbitnija lekcija koju smo naučili

is to reverse the waterfall as much as possible.

je da vodopad preokrenemo što je više moguće.

Enlist the children in their own upbringing.

Angažujte decu u njihovom odgajanju.

Just yesterday, we were having our family meeting,

Juče smo imali porodični sastanak

and we had voted to work on overreacting.

i složili smo se da radimo na preteranim reakcijama.

So we said, "Okay, give us a reward and give us a punishment. Okay?"

Rekli smo: "Okej, dajte nam nagradu i kaznu. U redu?"

So one of my daughters threw out, you get five minutes of overreacting time all week.

Jedna od ćerki je predložila, nedeljno imamo pet minuta za preterane reakcije.

So we kind of liked that.

To nam se svidelo.

But then her sister started working the system.

Ali njena sestra je počela da koristi sistem.

She said, "Do I get one five-minute overreaction

Rekla je: "Da li imam jednu preteranu reakciju od pet minuta

or can I get 10 30-second overreactions?"

ili 10 preteranih reakcija od 30 sekundi?

I loved that. Spend the time however you want.

To mi se svidelo. Provodi vreme kako želiš.

Now give us a punishment. Okay.

Sad nam daj kaznu. U redu.

If we get 15 minutes of overreaction time, that's the limit.

Ako preterano reagujemo 15 minuta, to je ograničenje.

Every minute above that, we have to do one pushup.

Za svaki minut preko toga, moramo da uradimo jedan sklek.

So you see, this is working. Now look, this system isn't lax.

Vidite, to je rad. Gledajte, sistem nije blag.

There's plenty of parental authority going on.

Ima dosta roditeljskog autoriteta.

But we're giving them practice becoming independent,

Ali vežbamo ih u tome da budu nezavisne,

which of course is our ultimate goal.

što je naravno naš krajnji cilj.

Just as I was leaving to come here tonight,

Baš kada sam kretao ovde večeras,

one of my daughters started screaming.

jedna od mojih ćerki počela je da vrišti.

The other one said, "Overreaction! Overreaction!"

Druga je rekla: "Preterana reakcija! Preterana reakcija!"

and started counting, and within 10 seconds it had ended.

i počela je da broji, i to se završilo nakon 10 sekundi.

To me that is a certified agile miracle.

Za mene je to potvrda čuda agilnosti.

(Laughter) (Applause)

(Smeh) (Aplauz)

And by the way, research backs this up too.

Uzgred, ovo je potvrđeno i istraživanjem.

Children who plan their own goals, set weekly schedules,

Deca koja postavljaju svoje ciljeve, imaju nedeljne rasporede,

evaluate their own work build up their frontal cortex

procenjuju svoj rad, poboljšavaju frontalni korteks

and take more control over their lives.

i imaju više kontrole nad svojim životima.

The point is, we have to let our children succeed on their own terms,

Poenta je sledeća - moramo dozvoliti deci da uspeju pod sopstvenim uslovima,

and yes, on occasion, fail on their own terms.

i da, ponekad da prihvatimo i njihove.

I was talking to Warren Buffett's banker,

Pričao sam sa bankarom Vorena Bafeta

and he was chiding me for not letting my children

i gunđao mi je što ne dopuštam deci

make mistakes with their allowance.

da greše sa svojim džeparcem.

And I said, "But what if they drive into a ditch?"

I rekao sam: "A šta ako nalete na zid?"

He said, "It's much better to drive into a ditch

On je rekao: "Bolje je da nalete na zid

with a $6 allowance than a $60,000-a-year salary

sa džeparcem od 6 dolara nego platom od 60 000 dolara

or a $6 million inheritance."

ili nasledstvom od 6 miliona dolara."

So the bottom line is, empower your children.

Suština je u tome da osposobite svoju decu.

Plank number three: Tell your story.

Načelo broj tri: ispričajte svoju priču.

Adaptability is fine, but we also need bedrock.

Prilagodljivost je u redu, ali su nam potrebni i temelji.

Džim Kolins, pisac knjige "Dobro do sjajnog",

Jim Collins, the author of "Good To Great,"

told me that successful human organizations of any kind

rekao mi je da sve uspešne ljudske organizacije

have two things in common:

imaju dve zajedničke stvari:

they preserve the core, they stimulate progress.

čuvaju jezgro i stimulišu napredak.

So agile is great for stimulating progress,

Agilnost je sjajna za stimulaciju napretka

but I kept hearing time and again, you need to preserve the core.

ali sam sve češće čuo da treba da se sačuva jezgro.

So how do you do that?

Pa kako to uraditi?

Collins coached us on doing something

Kolins nas je podučavao da radimo nešto

that businesses do, which is define your mission

što rade firme, da definišemo svoju misiju

and identify your core values.

i otkrijemo svoje ključne vrednosti.

So he led us through the process of creating a family mission statement.

Proveo nas je kroz proces stvaranja izjave o misiji naše porodice.

We did the family equivalent of a corporate retreat.

Uradili smo porodičnu verziju poslovnog sastanka.

We had a pajama party.

Imali smo žurku u pidžamama.

I made popcorn. Actually, I burned one, so I made two.

Napravio sam kokice. Zapravo, prve sam spalio, pa sam napravio još jedne.

My wife bought a flip chart.

Supruga je kupila konferencijsku tablu.

And we had this great conversation, like, what's important to us?

Imali smo sjajan razgovor o tome šta nam je bitno.

What values do we most uphold?

Koje vrednosti najviše cenimo?

And we ended up with 10 statements.

Dobili smo 10 izjava.

We are travelers, not tourists.

Mi smo putnici, ne turisti.

We don't like dilemmas. We like solutions.

Ne volimo dileme, već rešenja.

Again, research shows that parents should spend less time

Još jednom, istraživanja pokazuju da roditelji treba da provode

worrying about what they do wrong

manje vremena brinući o tome šta rade kako ne treba

and more time focusing on what they do right,

a više vremena fokusirajući se na ono što rade kako treba,

worry less about the bad times and build up the good times.

da manje brinu o lošim vremenima i rade na dobrim.

This family mission statement is a great way to identify

Ova izjava o misiji je sjajan način da identifikujete

what it is that you do right.

šta je to što radite dobro.

A few weeks later, we got a call from the school.

Nekoliko nedelja kasnije, zvali su nas iz škole.

One of our daughters had gotten into a spat.

Jedna od naših ćerki se posvađala s nekim.

And suddenly we were worried, like, do we have a mean girl on our hands?

Odjednom smo se zabrinuli, da li je ona zlobna?

Nismo znali šta radimo, pa smo je pozvali u moju kancelariju.

And we didn't really know what to do,

so we called her into my office.

The family mission statement was on the wall,

Izjava o misiji bila je na zidu

and my wife said, "So, anything up there seem to apply?"

a moja supruga je rekla: "Da li je nešto odatle primenljivo?"

And she kind of looked down the list, and she said,

Pogledala je na listu i rekla:

"Bring people together?"

"Spajanje ljudi?"

Suddenly we had a way into the conversation.

Odjednom smo imali početak razgovora.

Another great way to tell your story

Još jedan sjajan način

is to tell your children where they came from.

da ispričate priču je da deci kažete nešto o poreklu.

Researchers at Emory gave children a simple

Istraživači iz Emorija su decu jednostavno pitali:

"what do you know" test.

"Šta znate?"

Do you know where your grandparents were born?

Znate li gde su rođeni vaši baba i deda?

Znate li u koju srednju školu su išli vaši roditelji?

Do you know where your parents went to high school?

Do you know anybody in your family

Znate li nekoga u vašoj porodici

who had a difficult situation, an illness, and they overcame it?

ko je bio u teškoj situaciji poput bolesti, i da je prevazišao to?

The children who scored highest on this "do you know" scale

Deca sa najvišim rezultatima na ovom testu

had the highest self-esteem and a greater sense they could control their lives.

imala su najviše samopouzdanja i najjači osećaj kontrole nad svojim životima.

The "do you know" test was the single biggest predictor

Test "šta znaš" je bio najveći faktor predviđanja

of emotional health and happiness.

emotivnog zdravlja i sreće.

As the author of the study told me,

Kao što je rekao autor istraživanja,

children who have a sense of -- they're part of a larger narrative

deca koja imaju osećaj - deo su veće priče

have greater self-confidence.

i imaju više samopouzdanja.

So my final plank is, tell your story.

Poslednje načelo je - ispričajte svoju priču.

Spend time retelling the story of your family's positive moments

Provedite vreme prepričavajući pozitivne trenutke vaše porodice

and how you overcame the negative ones.

i kako ste prevazišli negativne.

If you give children this happy narrative,

Ako deci date ove srećne priče,

you give them the tools to make themselves happier.

dajete im alat da sebe učine srećnijima.

Bio sam tinejdžer kada sam prvi put čitao Anu Karenjinu

I was a teenager when I first read "Anna Karenina"

and its famous opening sentence,

i čuvenu prvu rečenicu knjige:

"All happy families are alike.

"Sve srećne porodice liče jedna na drugu.

Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

Svaka nesrećna porodica je nesrećna na svoj način."

When I first read that, I thought, "That sentence is inane.

Kada sam prvi put to pročitao, pomislio sam: "Ta rečenica je glupa.

Of course all happy families aren't alike."

Naravno da sve srećne porodice ne liče jedna na drugu."

But as I began working on this project,

Ali kako sam počeo da radim na ovom projektu,

I began changing my mind.

počeo sam da menjam mišljenje.

Recent scholarship has allowed us, for the first time,

Nedavna stipendija nam je dozvolila da po prvi put

to identify the building blocks

identifikujemo osnove

that successful families have.

srećnih porodica.

I've mentioned just three here today:

Danas sam spomenuo samo tri:

Adapt all the time, empower the children, tell your story.

stalno prilagođavanje, osposobljavanje i pričanje svoje priče.

Is it possible, all these years later, to say Tolstoy was right?

Da li je nakon svih ovih godina moguće reći da je Tolstoj bio u pravu?

The answer, I believe, is yes.

Verujem da to jeste slučaj.

When Leo Tolstoy was five years old,

Kada je Lav Tolstoj imao pet godina,

his brother Nikolay came to him

njegov brat Nikolaj mu je prišao

and said he had engraved the secret to universal happiness

i rekao da je urezao tajnu opšte sreće

on a little green stick, which he had hidden

na mali zeleni štap koji je sakrio

in a ravine on the family's estate in Russia.

u uvali na porodičnom imanju u Rusiji.

If the stick were ever found, all humankind would be happy.

Kada bi neko pronašao štap, celo čovečanstvo bilo bi srećno.

Tolstoy became consumed with that stick, but he never found it.

Tolstoj je postao opsednut tim štapom, ali ga nikada nije našao.

In fact, he asked to be buried in that ravine where he thought it was hidden.

Zapravo, tražio je da ga sahrane u toj uvali gde je mislio da je skriven.

He still lies there today, covered in a layer of green grass.

I danas počiva tamo, pokriven slojem zelene trave.

That story perfectly captures for me

Ova priča za mene savršeno obuhvata

the final lesson that I learned:

poslednju lekciju koju sam naučio:

Happiness is not something we find,

sreću ne nalazimo,

it's something we make.

već je stvaramo.

Almost anybody who's looked at well-run organizations

Skoro svako ko je pogledao ogranizacije sa dobrim vođstvom

has come to pretty much the same conclusion.

došao je do skoro istog zaključka.

Greatness is not a matter of circumstance.

Uspeh nije stvar okolnosti.

It's a matter of choice.

Stvar je izbora.

You don't need some grand plan. You don't need a waterfall.

Ne treba vam neki veliki plan. Ne treba vam vodopad.

You just need to take small steps,

Samo koračajte malim koracima,

accumulate small wins,

zbrajajte male pobede

keep reaching for that green stick.

i nastavite da posežete za tim zelenim štapom.

In the end, this may be the greatest lesson of all.

Možda je na kraju ovo i najveća lekcija.

What's the secret to a happy family? Try.

Šta je tajna srećne porodice? Pokušajte.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)