John Hodgman: A brief digression on matters of lost time

Prevodilac: Vesna Savić Lektor: Mile Živković

You all know this story.

Svi znate sledeću priču.

In the summer of 1950,

Leta 1950. godine,

Enrico Fermi, the Italian-American physicist

Enriko Fermi, italijansko-američki fizičar

and atomic-pile builder,

i graditelj nuklearnog reaktora,

went to lunch at Los Alamos National Laboratory

otišao je na ručak u Nacionalnoj laboratoriji u Los Alamosu u SAD,

and joined some colleagues there, and asked them a question:

pridružio se kolegama i postavio im pitanje:

"Where is everybody?"

„Gde su svi?"

This confused his colleagues, obviously,

To je zbunilo njegove kolege, očigledno

because they were sitting right there with him.

zato što su svi sedeli pored njega.

And then he had to clarify that he wasn't talking about them.

Onda je pojasnio da ne misli na njih.

He was talking about the space aliens.

Mislio je na svemirce.

You see, this was only a few years after

Vidite, to se desilo samo nekoliko godina nakon

the supposed flying saucer crash

navodnog pada letećeg tanjira

at Roswell, New Mexico.

u Rozvelu, u Nju Meksiku.

And even though that turned out to be nothing,

I iako se ispostavilo da to nije bilo ništa,

nothing at all --

skroz ništa -

(Laughter) --

(smeh) -

merely a downed weather balloon

ništa drugo do običnog oborenog meteorološkog balona,

piloted by small hairless men

kojim su upravljala oniža ćelava bića

with slits for mouths ...

s prorezom umesto usta...

Still, America had gone saucer-mad,

Amerika je ipak poludela za letećim tanjirma,

even famous scientists

čak i poznati naučnici

who were eating lunch.

koji su samo ručali.

Fermi's reasoning, if I may paraphrase badly,

Fermijeva logika, ako smem da ga loše parafraziram,

is that the universe is so vast

bila je da je univerzum toliko ogroman

that it stands to reason,

da je sasvim očekivano

there should be other intelligent life out there.

da negde tamo treba da postoji još inteligentnih bića.

And the universe is so old

Univerzum je toliko star

that unless we were the very first civilization ever to evolve,

da, osim ako smo prva prvcijata civilizacija koja je ikad postojala,

we should have some evidence of their existence by now.

do sad treba da imamo neke dokaze o njihovom postojanju.

And yet, to the best of our knowledge, we are alone.

Bar koliko smo do sad obavešteni, sami smo.

"Where is everybody?" asked Fermi,

„Gde su svi?", upitao je Fermi,

and his colleagues had no answer.

a njegove kolege nisu imale odgovor.

Fermi then went on with the same blunt logic

Fermi je nastavio sa istom šturom logikom

to disprove fairies,

kako bi dokazao postojanje vila,

Sasquatch, God,

Saskvoča, boga,

the possibility of love --

mogućnost voljenja -

and thereafter, as you know,

i stoga je, kao što već znate,

Enrico Fermi ate alone.

Enriko Fermi jeo sam.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Now,

Sad,

I am not a scientist.

ja nisam naučnik.

I have never built an atomic pile.

Nikada nisam gradio nuklearni reaktor.

Although, I might argue that, technically,

Premda, mogu tvrditi da je, u suštini,

every pile is atomic.

svaki reaktor nuklearni.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

However, with respect, I might point out two possibilities

Ipak, s dužnim poštovanjem, istakao bih dve mogućnosti

that Enrico Fermi perhaps did not consider.

koje Enriko Fermi možda nije uzeo u obzir.

One is that the aliens might be

Prva je da vanzemaljci mogu biti

very far away.

veoma daleko.

Perhaps, I dare say,

Možda, usudio bih se da kažem,

even on other planets.

čak i na drugim planetama. (Smeh)

The other possibility --

Druga mogućnost -

(Laughter) --

(smeh) -

is, perhaps, Enrico Fermi himself

je da je možda i sam Enriko Fermi

was an alien.

bio vanzemaljac.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Think about it.

Razmislite.

Isn't it a little convenient

Nije li malo zgodno

that in the midst of the World War, out of nowhere,

to što se usred Drugog svetskog rata odjednom

suddenly an Italian scientist showed up

niotkuda pojavio jedan italijanski naučnik

with an amazing new technology

sa sjajnom novom tehnologijom

that would transform everything in the world

koja bi promenila sve na svetu

and darken the history of the human species forever after?

i zauvek zamračila istoriju ljudske vrste?

And isn't it a little strange

I nije li malo čudno

that he required no payment for this?

to što nije tražio nikakvu naknadu za to?

That he asked for only one thing --

I to što je tražio samo jedno -

a gift of two healthy sperm whales?

da mu se daju dve zdrave ulješure?

That's -- that's not true.

To - to nije istina.

But it is strange.

Ali jeste čudno.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And if Enrico Fermi were indeed a space alien,

I ako je Enriko Fermi stvarno bio svemirac,

wouldn't he be the first to have tried to convince

ne bi li on prvi pokušao da ubedi

his fellow scientists

svoje kolege naučnike

that the space aliens are not already here?

da svemirci nisu tamo?

For it is given in certain UFO-ology

U NLO-ogiji,

or UFOlogy circles,

ili NLOloškim krugovima,

that the aliens are already here and have been for millennia;

smatra se da su vanzemaljci već ovde i da su tu bili stolećima,

that they have walked among us in disguise,

da se kreću prerušeni,

observing us, guiding our evolution

posmatrajući nas, vodeći našu evoluciju

from ape to man --

od majmuna do čoveka -

if you believe in that sort of thing --

ako verujete u te priče -

and, occasionally, kidnapping us in their flying saucers

i da neke od nas povremeno kidnapuju u svoje leteće tanjire

and taking us away to have sex with us in pyramids.

i odvode kako bi upražnjavali seks u piramidama.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

It's a difficult theory to discount,

Teško je odbaciti tu teoriju,

I think you'll agree.

složićete se.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

For even in my own life,

Čak i u mom iskustvu

there are memories I have

postoje sećanja za koja

that are difficult to explain --

mi je teško da objasnim -

happenings that are so odd and unaccountably weird,

dešavanja koja su toliko neobična i neobjašnjivo čudna

that it is difficult to imagine

da je teško zamisliti

they were not the result

da nisu rezultat

of prolonged and frequent contact with aliens throughout my life.

dugog i čestog kontakta s vanzemaljcima tokom mog života.

For how else will you explain

Jer kako biste drugačije objasnili moje

the amazing and absolutely true

zapanjujuće i potpuno stvarne

close encounters that I had

bliske susrete

and will describe to you now?

koje ću vam sada opisati?

Encounter one: Ocean City, New Jersey, 1980.

Susret broj 1: Oušn Siti, Nju Džerzi, 1980.

This was the summer when the special edition of

Tog leta je izašlo specijalno izdanje

"Close Encounters of the Third Kind" was released.

knjige „Bliski susreti treće vrste".

And I went on vacation with my parents to the Jersey shore.

Bio sam na odmoru sa roditeljima na morskoj obali u Džerziju.

Within 12 hours, I was horribly sunburned,

Za 12 časova sam užasno izgoreo na suncu,

just like Richard Dreyfuss in the movie.

baš kao i Ričard Drajfus u filmu.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And so I spent the rest of the vacation

I tako sam ostatak odmora proveo

largely sitting outside our little rental house at night,

uglavnom sedeći uveče ispred male iznajmljene kuće,

the sidewalk still warm from the sun,

na trotoaru još toplom od sunca,

watching the skies for UFOs.

i posmatrao nebo u potrazi za NLO-ima.

What did I see? Stars, satellites,

Šta sam video? Zvezde, satelite,

blinking airplanes -- typical sky junk.

trepćuće avione - tipične nebeske gluposti.

Occasionally, kids would come and

Povremeno bi mi se deca

join me and watch,

pridruživala i posmatrala,

but their necks soon got sore, and they would go off to the boardwalk

ali bi ih brzo zaboleli vratovi, te bi produžili drvenim putićem

to play video games and mingle with humans.

da igraju video-igrice i mešaju se s ljudskim bićima.

I was pretty good at the video games. I was not very good at the other part,

Ja sam bio dobar u igricama, ali ne i u onom drugom,

so I stayed alone with the cosmos.

tako da sam ostajao sam sa kosmosom.

And that's when it happened.

I tada se desilo.

An elderly couple came walking down the street.

Stariji par je išao ulicom.

I would say they were in their late seventies,

Rekao bih da su bili u kasnim sedamdesetim

and I would say that they were on a date,

i rekao bih da su bili na ljubavnom sastanku,

because he was wearing a very neat little suit

zato što je on bio u lepom odelcetu

with a yellow tie -- a brown suit.

sa žutom kravatom - odelo braon boje.

And she was wearing a cardigan, because it was now fully night

Ona je bila u džemperu jer je već bila mrkla noć

and a chill was coming in off the ocean.

te je hladnoća dolazila sa okeana.

I remember, for some reason,

Sećam se, iz nekog razloga,

that they were exactly the same height.

da su bili tačno iste visine.

And then they stopped, and the man turned to me

Zastali su i čovek se okrenuo ka meni

and said,

i rekao:

"What are you looking for,

„Šta to tražiš,

flying saucers?"

leteće tanjire?"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

You have to admit, that's a pretty boss piece of detective work

Morate priznati da je to prilično dobro obavljen detektivski posao

for an old man on a date.

za jednog starca na ljubavnom sastanku.

But what was stranger still --

Ali još čudnije -

and even I realized it at the time,

što sam čak i ja tad shvatio

as a nine-year-old child --

kao devetogodišnji dečak -

was that they stopped at all.

bilo je to što su uopšte zastali.

That this old man would interrupt his moonlight stroll

To što je taj starac prekinuo svoju šetnju pod mesečinom

with his sweetheart with the precise reason

sa svojom ljubavlju samo da bi

of making fun of a child.

ismevao neko dete.

"Oh," he said,

„Ah", rekao je,

"little green men."

„mali zeleni."

And then his girlfriend joined in, too.

A onda mu se i partnerka pridružila.

"There's no such thing as space men," she said.

„Svemirci ne postoje", reče ona.

"There's no such thing."

„Ne postoje."

And then they both laughed. "Ha, ha, ha."

Potom su se oboje nasmejali: „Ha ha ha!"

I looked around.

Osvrnuo sam se.

The street was entirely empty.

Ulica je bila potpuno pusta.

I had stopped hearing the sound of the ocean.

Nisam više čuo okean.

It was as though time had stopped.

Vreme kao da je stalo.

I did not know why they were teasing me.

Nisam shvatao zašto su me začikavali.

I looked into their strangely angry faces,

Posmatrao sam njihova neobično ljuta lica

and I remember wondering,

i sećam se da sam se pitao

are they wearing rubber masks?

da li nose gumene maske.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And what would be behind those rubber masks, if they were?

A ako ih nose, šta bi bilo ispod njih?

Giant, almond-shaped, unblinking eyes?

Krupne netrepćuće oči u obliku badema?

Slits for mouths?

Prorezi umesto usta?

The old man crooked his finger as though he were firing a gun,

Starac je savio prst kao da puca iz pištolja,

and then he made laser sounds.

a onda je proizvodio zvuke laserskog oružja.

"Kew, kew, kew --

„Piju piju piju -

watch out."

pazi se."

And they turned at once and walked away.

Odjednom su se okrenuli i odšetali.

The old man reached out

Starac je ispružio

his knobbly claw

svoju čvorastu kandžu

for the woman's hand,

ka ženinoj šaci,

and found it, and left me alone.

pronašao ju je, a mene ostavio za sobom.

Now, you could describe this as a simple misunderstanding --

Ovo se može opisati kao običan nesporazum -

a strange encounter among humans.

jedan čudni susret ljudskih bića.

Maybe it was swamp gas, but --

Možda su u pitanju bila isparenja iz močvare, ali -

(Laughter) --

(Smeh) -

I know what I saw.

ja znam šta sam video.

Close encounter two: Brookline, Massachusetts, 1984.

Bliski susret broj 2: Bruklin, Masačusets, 1984. godine.

I went to see the movie "Dune,"

Krenuo sam da odgledam film „Dina"

and a girl talked to me. Now, on its face --

i jedna devojka je pričala sa mnom. Na njenom licu -

(Laughter) --

(Smeh) -

this is impossible on its face, I realize --

ovo je nemoguće na njenom licu, shvatam i sam -

but it is absolutely true.

ali je potpuno istinito.

It was opening night, naturally.

Naravno, bila je premijera.

I went with my friend Tim McGonigal, who sat on my left.

Išao sam s prijateljem Timom Makgonaglom, koji je sedeo s moje leve strane.

On my right was the girl in question.

S desne strane bila je pomenuta devojka.

She had long, curly black hair, a blue jean jacket.

Imala je dugu, kovrdžavu crnu kosu, plavu teksas-jaknu.

I remember, she had some sort of injury to her ankle,

Sećam se da je joj je nožni članak bio povređen,

an Ace bandage, and she had crutches.

da je imala rastegljivi zavoj i štake.

She was very tall, I would say.

Rekao bih da je bila vrlo visoka.

I was starting high school at the time. I would say she was a junior,

Ja sam u to vreme bio prva godina srednje škole, a rekao bih da je ona bila četvrta,

but I had never seen her before. She didn't go to my school.

ali je nikada ranije nisam video. Nije išla u moju školu.

I didn't know her name, and I never will.

Nisam joj znao ime, i nikada ga neću ni saznati.

She was sitting with someone who I presume was her mother,

Sedela je s osobom koja joj je, pretpostavljam, bila majka

and they were talking about the novel, "Dune."

i pričale su o romanu „Dina".

They were both big fans, mother and daughter --

Obe su bile fanovi knjige, i majka i ćerka -

very unusual.

što je vrlo neobično.

They were talking about how their favorite characters

Pričale su kako su im omiljeni likovi

were the giant sandworms.

bili džinovski pustinjski crvi.

And then it got stranger.

A onda je postalo čudno.

That's when she turned to me and said,

Onda se okrenula ka meni i upitala:

"Are you looking forward to seeing the movie?"

„Je l' jedva čekaš da vidiš film?"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

First of all, I was embarrassed

Prvo i prvo, posramio sam se

because I had not read the novel "Dune" at that time.

jer tad nisam bio pročitao roman „Dina".

I was merely a connoisseur of movies

Bio sam samo poznavalac filmova

featuring desert planets, as I still am.

s pustim planetama, što sam i dalje.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But it was also the tone of how she asked the question:

Ali ton njenog pitanja -

apropos of nothing, like she didn't even care about the answer,

bez posebnog razloga, bio je kao da uopšte nije marila za odgovor,

as though she just wanted to talk to me.

kao da je samo želela da razgovara sa mnom.

I did not know what to say. I said, "Yes."

Nisam znao šta da kažem. Odgovorio sam: „Da."

I did not even turn my head.

Nisam čak ni okrenuo glavu.

The movie began.

FIlm je počeo.

I need not remind you that this was David Lynch's version of "Dune,"

Ne treba da vas podsećam da je to bila verzija „Dine" Dejvida Linča

in which all of the characters

u kojoj su svi likovi

were sexy and deformed at the same time.

bili seksi i deformisani u isto vreme.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

There was a character called the Third-Stage Guild Navigator,

U filmu ima lik koji se zove Navigator esnafa trećeg stepena,

which was a kind of giant, floating fetus-creature

koji je neka vrsta džinovskog, plutajućeg bića-fetusa

that lived in a giant tank with this orange mist

koje živi u džinovskom rezervoaru sa narandžastom izmaglicom

of psychedelic spice

psihodeličnih začina

swirling around him,

koji su kružili oko njega,

allowing him to bend space and time.

i koji su mu omogućavali da savija prostor i vreme.

He could never leave the tank

Nije mogao da izađe iz rezervoara

or interact with the outside world.

ili da komunicira sa spoljnim svetom.

He had become, in his isolation,

Postao je, u toj izolaciji,

so deformed and so sexy,

toliko deformisan i seksi

that he had to talk through a kind of old-timey radio

da je morao da sa spoljnim svetom razgovara preko nekakvog starinskog radija,

to the outside world, and could never touch them.

i ništa nije mogao dotaći.

I mean, I liked him a lot better than the sandworms.

Mislim, on mi se više sviđao od pustinjskih crva.

The sandworms were fine, but your favorite character?

Oni su bili dobri, ali da vam budu omiljeni likovi?

Please.

Molim vas.

When the movie ended,

Kada se film završio

everyone seemed very happy

svi su jedva čekali

to get up and get out of the theatre as soon as possible.

da ustanu i odu iz bioskopa što pre.

Except for the girl.

Svi osim te devojke.

As I walked out, her pace slowed.

Kako sam išao ka izlazu, ona je usporila korak.

Perhaps it was the crutches,

Možda je to bilo zbog štaka,

but it seemed --

ali je delovalo -

(Laughter) --

(Smeh) -

it seemed as though she might want to talk to me again.

delovalo je kao da je izgleda htela da opet razgovaramo.

When I say it out loud, it sounds so ridiculous,

Kada to izgovorim zvuči smešno,

but I can only come to the conclusion

ali mogu samo da zaključim

that it was what, in the alien abductee community,

da je u pitanju bilo ono što se u krugovima ljudi koje su vanzemaljci oteli

they call a "screen memory":

zove „lažno sećanje":

a ridiculous false recollection designed by their brain

smešno lažno sećanje koje mozak nadomisli

to cover up some trauma -- say, of being kidnapped

kako bi se potisnula trauma - recimo, da vas kidnapuju

and flown off to a sex pyramid.

i odvedu u piramidu za seks.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And so I sure am glad

Tako da mi je veoma drago

I did not slow down to talk to her.

što nisam usporio da razgovaram s njom.

I sure am glad I never saw her again.

Veoma mi je drago što je nikada nisam ponovo video.

Close encounter three: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,

Bliski susret broj 3: Filadelfija, Pensilvanija,

1989.

1989. godine.

In the mid-to-late '80s,

Sredinom ili krajem osamdesetih,

the novelist Whitley Strieber wrote a book called "Communion,"

romanopisac Vitli Striber napisao je knjigu „Pričest"

in which he described his own lifelong experiences

u kojoj opisuje svoja dugogodišnja iskustva

being abducted by aliens.

otimanja od strane vanzemaljaca.

And he also described the phenomenon known in this community

Takođe opisuje i fenomen tih krugova

as "lost time,"

koji se zove „izgubljeno vreme",

where Whitley Strieber would suddenly become aware

kada bi Vitli Striber iznenada postao svestan

that he could not remember the previous ten minutes,

toga da ne može da se seti prethodnih deset minuta

or the previous ten hours, or the previous ten days.

ili deset časova ili deset dana.

And would come to the conclusion that that was when the aliens

I došao je do zaključka da su ga tada vanzemaljci

were taking him and giving him rectal probes.

odvodili i pregledali mu rektum.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

This book became, naturally, an enormous best-seller.

Ta knjiga je, sasvim prirodno, postala veliki bestseler.

This image by Ted Joseph was from that book,

Ova slika Teda Džozefa je iz te knjige

and was his, sort of, police sketch

i to je neka vrsta policijskog crteža

of what the creatures looked like

izgleda tih stvorenja

that Whitley Strieber had described to him.

koja mu je Vitli Striber opisao.

And it was so successful that they made it into a movie.

Knjiga je bila tako uspešna da su po njoj snimili film.

And in 1989, the way I remember it,

A 1989. godine, po mom sećanju,

I was in Philadelphia

bio sam u Filadelfiji

visiting my girlfriend, and we decided,

u poseti devojci i odlučili smo

apropos of nothing, to go see this movie.

bez posebnog razloga, da odgledamo taj film.

And the way I remember it, the movie featured these details.

Po mom sećanju, u filmu su se dešavale sledeće stvari:

One: Whitley Strieber

prvo, Vitlija Stribera

was played by Christopher Walken.

igrao je Kristofer Voken.

Two: the alien was played by a rubber puppet.

Drugo, vanzemaljca je glumila gumena lutka.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Three: there was a surprisingly long

Treće, u filmu je bila prikazana iznenađujuće duga

sequence of the film in which the rubber puppet

scena u kojoj gumena lutka

gives Christopher Walken a rectal probe.

pregleda rektum Kristofera Vokena.

Four: this was being shown

Četvrto, to je prikazivano

in a regular movie theater in Center City, Philadelphia.

u običnom bioskopu u Senter sitiju, u Filadelfiji.

Five: all of which is to say,

Peto, to sve govori

they made a movie out of the book, "Communion,"

da su napravili film od knjige „Pričest"

and it starred Christopher Walken.

i da je glavnu ulogu igrao Kristofer Voken.

Does something seem strange about this to you?

Da li vam je tu nešto čudno?

Something odd? Something off? Something wrong with this picture?

Nešto čudno? Nešto neobično? Nešto pogrešno?

Think about it. Yes. The answer is:

Razmislite. Jeste. Odgovor je:

I had a girlfriend. What?

ja sam imao devojku. Molim?

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

How did this happen? When did this happen?

Kako se to dogodilo? Kada se to dogodilo?

I remember walking out of the theater

Sećam se da sam, dok smo izlazili iz bioskopa,

and becoming suddenly aware of this fact,

iznenada postajao svestan te činjenice,

as we walked hand in hand,

dok smo se držali za ruke

and pondering these very same questions.

i razmišljali o tim istim pitanjima.

And to this day, I have no answer for you.

I do dana današnjeg nemam odgovor.

Close encounter four: the Algarve,

Bliski susret broj 4: Algarvi,

Portugal, 1991.

Portugalija, 1991. godine.

Some years later, I and this woman --

Nekoliko godina kasnije, ja sam s tom ženom -

we'll call her "Catherine Fletcher" --

zvaćemo je „Ketrin Flečer" -

(Laughter) --

(Smeh) -

went traveling through the south of Portugal together.

putovao južnom Portugalijom.

We stayed in old, crumbling, walled cities,

Odsedali smo u malim hostelima

u starim ruševitim gradovima opasanim zidinama,

in tiny little hotels,

and we would climb up to the roof and drink Vinho Verde

i jednom smo se popeli na krov i pili Vinjo verde,

and watch the sun set and play checkers.

gledali zalazak sunca i igrali mice.

What? Did we do this? Really? Does anyone do this?

Molim? Jesmo to mi radili? Stvarno? Ko to još radi?

We went to some topless beaches.

Išli smo na toples-plaže.

Excuse me? No, not in my life.

Kako molim? Ne, ne u mom životu.

For what it's worth, we went to Sagres,

Ako vam išta znači, bili smo u tvrđavi Sagres

which was considered, at the time, to be the end of the world.

koju su svojevremeno smatrali krajem sveta.

And there I was chased by a pack of feral dogs on the dock,

I eto mene kako trčim jer me juri čopor divljih pasa na doku,

and the lead dog bit me on the ass,

i onda me vođa ujede za dupe,

requiring me to go to a strange Portuguese clinic

zbog čega moram da odem u čudnu portugalsku kliniku

and receive an ass shot.

i primim injekciju u dupe.

Make of that what you will.

Shvatite to kako želite.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Our last day in Portugal,

Poslednjeg dana u Portugaliji

we were in the district capital of Faro,

bili smo u prestonici okruga Faro,

and Catherine decided that she wanted to go to the beach

i Ketrin je odlučila da hoće da ode na plažu

one last time.

poslednji put.

Now, Faro is a bustling little city,

Pošto je Faro jedan užurbani gradić,

and to get to the beach, she explained, you would have to take

da biste došli do plaže, objasnila je, morali biste

a bus and then a boat.

da idete autobusom i čamcem.

And did I want to come with?

Da li sam i ja hteo da pođem?

But I was exhausted and dog-bitten, and so I said, "No."

Bio sam iscrpljen i izujedan te sam rekao da neću.

I remember what she looked like before she left.

Sećam se kako je izgledala pre nego što je otišla.

The freckles had grown

Pojavile su joj se pege

and multiplied on her face and shoulders,

i umnožile se na licu i ramenima,

clustering into a kind of a tan.

formirajući neku vrstu tamnog tena.

A tan, we were both tan --

Oboje smo bili pocrneli -

is this true?

da li je to moguće?

Her eyes were extra bright and extra blue, as a result.

Oči su joj bile izrazito svetle i izrazito plave zbog toga.

She was smiling.

Smešila se.

She was a single woman about to go alone into a country,

Ona je bila žena koja je htela da sama krene nekom zemljom

not even speaking the language,

a da i ne zna jezik,

to travel alone by bus and boat

da sama putuje autobusom ili čamcem,

to go to a beach she did not know

da ode na plažu koju ne poznaje

or had never seen.

i koju nikad nije videla.

I loved her, and then she went out

Voleo sam je, i izašla je

into that strange, alien land.

u tu čudnu, stranu zemlju.

It took me some time to come to my senses.

Trebalo mi je malo vremena da dođem k sebi.

Imao sam sopstveni momenat „izgubljenog vremena"

I had my own "lost time" moment,

where I woke up and suddenly realized

jer sam se probudio i odjednom shvatio

it was very late in the day, almost dinnertime,

da je dan skoro prošao, da je bilo skoro vreme za večeru

and she had not come back.

i da se ona nije vratila.

Nervous, I went down to the street to look for her.

Sav nervozan, izašao sam na ulicu da je potražim.

Now, I did not speak Portuguese.

Nisam znao portugalski.

I did not know where the beach was.

Nisam znao gde je plaža.

I could not call her on a cell phone because this was 1991,

Nisam mogao da je nazovem na mobilni jer je to bilo 1991. godine,

and the aliens had not given us that technology yet.

a vanzemaljci nam još uvek nisu dali tu tehnologiju.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I realized that the day would only have

Shvatio sam da postoje samo

two possible outcomes:

dva moguća ishoda tog dana:

either Catherine would come back to the hotel,

ili bi se Ketrin vratila u hotel

or she would never come back to the hotel.

ili se ne bi vratila nikad.

And so I sat down to wait.

Tako sam seo i čekao.

I did not watch the skies, but the very end of the street

Nisam posmatrao nebo nego sam kraj ulice

where the buses and cars and pedestrians

duž koje su se autobusi, auti, pešaci

and little scooters were moving along.

i mali skuteri kretali.

And I watched those constellations shift,

Posmatrao sam kako se te skupine pomeraju

hoping that they would part and I would see her face.

i nadao sam se da će se razmaći i da će se ona pomoliti.

It was at that moment,

U tom trenutku sam,

in that very small town of 30,000 or so,

u tom gradiću od oko 30.000 ljudi,

that I truly appreciated the vastness of the universe

istinski cenio veličinu svemira

and the searching we might do in it.

i potragu za tim šta mi tu radimo.

And that's when the Liberians came along.

Tada su naišli Liberijci.

Five young men -- all laughing, happy, traveling together,

Pet mladića - koji su bili nasmejani, srećni i putovali zajedno,

coming back to this hotel where they were staying.

vraćali su se u hotel u kome su bili odseli.

One of them was named Joseph, and he asked me

Jedan od njih se zvao Džozef i pitao me je

what was I doing, and I explained.

šta radim, i ja sam objasnio.

And he said, "Don't worry." He was sure that Catherine would be safe.

On odgovori: „Nemoj se brinuti." Bio je uveren da je Ketrin dobro.

But he did not seem so very sure,

Ali nije delovao sigurno

for he sat down to wait with me.

jer je seo da pričeka sa mnom.

And for the next two hours, they all waited with me:

U naredna dva sata svi su čekali sa mnom:

taking turns, going up to their room, coming back,

na smenu su se penjali do svoje sobe, vraćali se,

telling me jokes, distracting me.

pričali viceve, odvlačili mi pažnju.

Two hours, they gave me a message.

Za dva sata su mi dali poruku.

We are not alone.

Nismo mi sami.

And then, in the middle of a sentence, at the very birth of twilight,

A onda, usred rečenice, u sam sumrak

I turned and looked down the street.

sam se okrenuo i pogledao ka ulici.

The stars aligned, and she came back.

Zvezde su se poravnale i ona se vratila.

She was smiling. She did not understand why I was so worried.

Smešila se. Nije shvatala zašto sam se toliko brinuo.

Neither did the Liberians,

Nisu ni Liberijci,

although there was a huge amount of relief in their laughter

iako se u njihovom smehu osećalo ogromno olakšanje

as they clapped us on the back, and went back up to their room

dok su nas tapšali po leđima i vratili se u svoju sobu

and left us alone in the street, holding hands.

i ostavili nas same na ulici kako se držimo za ruke.

An event like this leaves a scar on the memory,

Takav događaj ostavlja trag u pamćenju,

much like a piece of alien technology

slično kao neka vanzemaljska tehnologija

that has been inserted into your buttocks

koja vam je stavljena među guzove

by a "Portuguese doctor."

od strane „portugalskog doktora".

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And even now, a decade and a half later,

Čak i sada, deceniju i po nakon tog događaja,

even now that we are married,

čak i sada kada smo venčani,

I look for her still, whenever she is not in the room.

uvek je tražim, kad god nije u istoj prostoriji.

And even though, I think you'll agree, it is probable

Mislim da ćete se svi složiti, čak i da postoji mogućnost

that during the time she was away,

da su je tokom tog vremena kada je bila odsutna

she was kidnapped and replaced by an alien clone,

kidnapovali i zamenili vanzemaljskim klonom,

I love her and wait for her still.

ja je volim i i dalje je čekam.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Hvala vam na pažnji.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)