John Hodgman: A brief digression on matters of lost time

譯者: Coco Shen 審譯者: Zhu Jie

You all know this story.

你們都知道這個故事.

In the summer of 1950,

在1950年的夏天,

Enrico Fermi, the Italian-American physicist

Enrico Fermi, 美國的意大利籍物理學家

and atomic-pile builder,

原子反應堆建造者

went to lunch at Los Alamos National Laboratory

在Los Alamos 國家實驗室和一些同事們共進午餐,

and joined some colleagues there, and asked them a question:

他問了一個問題:

"Where is everybody?"

"大家都去了哪?"

This confused his colleagues, obviously,

很顯然,這句話讓大家都很困惑.

because they were sitting right there with him.

因為他們正跟他坐在一起.

And then he had to clarify that he wasn't talking about them.

他不得不解釋說他不是在說他們

He was talking about the space aliens.

而是那些外星人

You see, this was only a few years after

這件事發生在

the supposed flying saucer crash

新墨西哥州的羅斯威爾

at Roswell, New Mexico.

飛碟墜毀事件的幾年之後.

And even though that turned out to be nothing,

雖然結果是沒事

nothing at all --

完全沒事

(Laughter) --

(笑聲)

merely a downed weather balloon

僅僅是天上掉下來的一個氣象氣球,

piloted by small hairless men

被一個張著嘴的無毛人

with slits for mouths ...

駕駛的氣球.

Still, America had gone saucer-mad,

然而, 美國人已經對飛碟發狂了

even famous scientists

即使是正在吃飯的

who were eating lunch.

著名科學家.

Fermi's reasoning, if I may paraphrase badly,

Fermi的推論, 恕我詮釋的不好,

is that the universe is so vast

這宇宙是如此的寬廣

that it stands to reason,

順理成章

there should be other intelligent life out there.

會有其它睿智的生命存在於宇宙中.

And the universe is so old

而且宇宙是如此的古老

that unless we were the very first civilization ever to evolve,

除非我們是第一個進化的文明,

we should have some evidence of their existence by now.

我們現在應該有一些外星人存在的證據.

And yet, to the best of our knowledge, we are alone.

然而, 據我們所知, 我們是孤獨的.

"Where is everybody?" asked Fermi,

"大家都去了哪裡?" Fermi問,

and his colleagues had no answer.

他和他的同事都沒法回答.

Fermi then went on with the same blunt logic

Fermi之後就繼續用這種愚笨的邏輯

to disprove fairies,

去反駁童話,還有

Sasquatch, God,

大腳野人, 上帝,

the possibility of love --

真愛的可能性--

and thereafter, as you know,

再後來, 你也知道,

Enrico Fermi ate alone.

Enrico Fermi自此獨自用餐.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Now,

現在,

I am not a scientist.

我不是一名科學家.

I have never built an atomic pile.

我從來沒創造過原子反應堆

Although, I might argue that, technically,

雖然, 我很可能會爭論,技術上講.

every pile is atomic.

任何一個堆都是由原子構成的.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

However, with respect, I might point out two possibilities

無論如何, 帶著景仰, 我要指出Enrico Fermi也許

that Enrico Fermi perhaps did not consider.

沒有考慮到的兩種可能.

One is that the aliens might be

一種是外星人也許

very far away.

非常非常遠.

Perhaps, I dare say,

大概吧, 我敢說,

even on other planets.

甚至在其它的行星上.

The other possibility --

另一種可能性 --

(Laughter) --

(笑聲)

is, perhaps, Enrico Fermi himself

就是, 有可能 Enrico Fermi本人

was an alien.

就是一個外星人.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Think about it.

想像一下.

Isn't it a little convenient

在世界大戰期間,

that in the midst of the World War, out of nowhere,

一個不知道哪裡來的意大利科學家

suddenly an Italian scientist showed up

突然帶著一種可以改變世界的

with an amazing new technology

令人吃驚的新技術

that would transform everything in the world

出現在世界面前,

and darken the history of the human species forever after?

並且自此改變了人類歷史. 這是不是太輕鬆了?

And isn't it a little strange

並且是不是有點奇怪

that he required no payment for this?

他並不要求任何報酬?

That he asked for only one thing --

他只要求一件事:

a gift of two healthy sperm whales?

要兩個健康的抹香鯨作為禮物?

That's -- that's not true.

當然, 那並不是真的.

But it is strange.

不過太怪異了.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And if Enrico Fermi were indeed a space alien,

並且如果Enrico Fermi 當時真是一個外星人,

wouldn't he be the first to have tried to convince

他為什麼不先去

his fellow scientists

嘗試說服他身邊的科學家

that the space aliens are not already here?

外星人還沒有來過?

For it is given in certain UFO-ology

對於發表的飛碟學說

or UFOlogy circles,

或者不明飛行物學說,

that the aliens are already here and have been for millennia;

他們認為外星人曾經來訪並且千年之前就曾來過.

that they have walked among us in disguise,

他們帶著偽裝跟我們一起生活,

observing us, guiding our evolution

觀察我們, 引導我們進化

from ape to man --

從猿到人 --

if you believe in that sort of thing --

如果你相信這種東西的話.

and, occasionally, kidnapping us in their flying saucers

並且, 他們偶然把我們綁架到他們的飛碟

and taking us away to have sex with us in pyramids.

並把我們帶到金字塔里發生性關係.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

It's a difficult theory to discount,

這是一個沒有人相信的深奧的理論,

I think you'll agree.

我想你也這麼認為的.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

For even in my own life,

即使在我的生活中

there are memories I have

也有些回憶是我很難

that are difficult to explain --

能夠解釋的通的 --

happenings that are so odd and unaccountably weird,

有些事情就那麼非常神奇的,莫明奇妙的發生了.

that it is difficult to imagine

所以很難想像

they were not the result

我們的一生中,

of prolonged and frequent contact with aliens throughout my life.

他們始終堅持並且頻繁的聯繫外星人

For how else will you explain

對於其它你要說的

the amazing and absolutely true

那些我親身經歷的

close encounters that I had

令人吃驚並且絕對真實的遭遇

and will describe to you now?

我現在就告訴你.

Encounter one: Ocean City, New Jersey, 1980.

遭遇一: 1980年 新澤西的歐欣城.

This was the summer when the special edition of

那是個夏天, 正好趕上《第三類接觸》的

"Close Encounters of the Third Kind" was released.

特別版發布.

And I went on vacation with my parents to the Jersey shore.

我和父母一起去新澤西的濱海度假.

Within 12 hours, I was horribly sunburned,

我在12個小時內被嚴重的曬傷,

just like Richard Dreyfuss in the movie.

嚴重的就像電影裡的Richard Dreyfuss.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And so I spent the rest of the vacation

所以我剩餘的假期,

largely sitting outside our little rental house at night,

基本上只能在晚上坐在我們租來的小房子外面,

the sidewalk still warm from the sun,

享受人行道殘存的太陽餘溫,

watching the skies for UFOs.

尋找著天空的不明飛行物.

What did I see? Stars, satellites,

我都是看到了什麼? 星星, 人造衛星,

blinking airplanes -- typical sky junk.

閃礫的飛機 -- 典型的天空垃圾.

Occasionally, kids would come and

小朋友們偶爾會過來,

join me and watch,

加入我一起觀察,

but their necks soon got sore, and they would go off to the boardwalk

他們的脖子很快就酸了, 所以他們離開人行道

to play video games and mingle with humans.

去玩遊戲機或找別人玩.

I was pretty good at the video games. I was not very good at the other part,

我曾很擅長游戲機. 但我不擅長別的,

so I stayed alone with the cosmos.

所以我還是一個人跟宇宙呆著吧.

And that's when it happened.

就是在這時發生的,

An elderly couple came walking down the street.

一對老夫婦在街上溜達.

I would say they were in their late seventies,

我覺得他們有七十多了,

and I would say that they were on a date,

還覺得他們在約會,

because he was wearing a very neat little suit

因為他穿著很整潔的套裝

with a yellow tie -- a brown suit.

棕色套裝裡還打著黃領帶.

And she was wearing a cardigan, because it was now fully night

因為並不是深夜, 女士穿了一件羊毛上衣,

and a chill was coming in off the ocean.

涼風從海面上吹過來.

I remember, for some reason,

我記得, 出於某種原因,

that they were exactly the same height.

他們身高相同.

And then they stopped, and the man turned to me

然後他們停住了, 這個男人轉向身

and said,

問我,

"What are you looking for,

"你在看什麼呢?"

flying saucers?"

"飛碟?"

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

You have to admit, that's a pretty boss piece of detective work

你不得不承認, 這個老男人在約會時

for an old man on a date.

非常像一名偵探.

But what was stranger still --

但還有很奇怪的是 --

and even I realized it at the time,

我意識到了在那個時間,

as a nine-year-old child --

作為一個九歲的小孩 --

was that they stopped at all.

他們停下來

That this old man would interrupt his moonlight stroll

這個老男人在跟他女朋友在月光下停下來

with his sweetheart with the precise reason

用一個準確的問題

of making fun of a child.

去跟一個小孩看玩笑.

"Oh," he said,

"哦." 他說,

"little green men."

"小綠人"

And then his girlfriend joined in, too.

這時, 他女朋友也加入進來.

"There's no such thing as space men," she said.

"外星人根本不存在," 她說.

"There's no such thing."

"沒那種東西."

And then they both laughed. "Ha, ha, ha."

然後他們同時哈哈一笑.

I looked around.

我環顧四周.

The street was entirely empty.

街道已經全空了.

I had stopped hearing the sound of the ocean.

我聽不到大海的聲音.

It was as though time had stopped.

彷彿時間停止了.

I did not know why they were teasing me.

我不知道他們為什麼逗我.

I looked into their strangely angry faces,

我觀察他們陌生的臉孔,

and I remember wondering,

並且我感覺很奇怪

are they wearing rubber masks?

他們是不是帶的橡膠面具?

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And what would be behind those rubber masks, if they were?

躲在面具後面的是什麼?

Giant, almond-shaped, unblinking eyes?

他們是不是有一雙巨大的, 一眨不眨的杏仁一樣的雙眼?

Slits for mouths?

裂縫一樣的嘴巴?

The old man crooked his finger as though he were firing a gun,

這個做了一個開槍的手勢,

and then he made laser sounds.

並且他發出激光槍的聲音,

"Kew, kew, kew --

咻,咻,咻--

watch out."

"小心!"

And they turned at once and walked away.

然後他們轉身接著散步.

The old man reached out

那個老男人伸出

his knobbly claw

他年邁粗糙的手

for the woman's hand,

拉住女人的手,

and found it, and left me alone.

然後留下我一個人.

Now, you could describe this as a simple misunderstanding --

現在, 你可以把這個當成一次簡單的誤會--

a strange encounter among humans.

一個人類之間的奇怪的邂逅.

Maybe it was swamp gas, but --

也許它只是浮雲, 但是 --

(Laughter) --

(笑聲)

I know what I saw.

我知道我看到了什麼.

Close encounter two: Brookline, Massachusetts, 1984.

遭遇二: 1984年馬薩諸塞的布魯克林

I went to see the movie "Dune,"

我去那裡看電影"沙丘"

and a girl talked to me. Now, on its face --

一個女孩跟我搭訕, 從表面上看 --

(Laughter) --

(笑聲)

this is impossible on its face, I realize --

我意識到,這從表面上看是不可能的 --

but it is absolutely true.

但它確實是真的.

It was opening night, naturally.

當時是首場演出. 自然地.

I went with my friend Tim McGonigal, who sat on my left.

我跟我的朋友Tim McGonigal一起去看的, 他坐我左邊.

On my right was the girl in question.

我右邊是問我問題的女孩

She had long, curly black hair, a blue jean jacket.

她有長長的,捲曲的頭髮, 藍色的工服.

I remember, she had some sort of injury to her ankle,

我記得,她的腳有點受傷,

an Ace bandage, and she had crutches.

有綁帶和拐杖.

She was very tall, I would say.

我認為她很高,

I was starting high school at the time. I would say she was a junior,

我那時是高年級學員. 我覺得她應該是低年級的,

but I had never seen her before. She didn't go to my school.

但我從來沒有見到過他. 她也不去我們學校.

I didn't know her name, and I never will.

我不知道她的名字, 而且永遠不會知道

She was sitting with someone who I presume was her mother,

她跟一個像她媽媽一樣的人一起坐著,

and they were talking about the novel, "Dune."

她們正在討論小說<沙丘魔堡>

They were both big fans, mother and daughter --

她們兩個都很喜歡, 媽媽和女兒 --

very unusual.

這很少見

They were talking about how their favorite characters

她們正在討論最喜歡的角色

were the giant sandworms.

是那個巨大的沙蟲.

And then it got stranger.

這時, 事情變的更怪了.

That's when she turned to me and said,

那時, 她轉向我並問道,

"Are you looking forward to seeing the movie?"

"你想看這部電影嗎?"

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

First of all, I was embarrassed

剛開始, 我很尷尬

because I had not read the novel "Dune" at that time.

因為我從來沒讀過小說<沙丘魔堡>.

I was merely a connoisseur of movies

我的影片鑒賞範圍只在於那些

featuring desert planets, as I still am.

充滿沙漠的行星片 現在也是.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But it was also the tone of how she asked the question:

但她還是問了很多的問題:

apropos of nothing, like she didn't even care about the answer,

沒什麼實質的東西, 就像她根本不介意答案一樣,

as though she just wanted to talk to me.

彷彿她只是想跟我聊天一樣.

I did not know what to say. I said, "Yes."

我不知道要說什麼. 我只說"是的."

I did not even turn my head.

我甚至都不轉過頭來.

The movie began.

電影開始了.

I need not remind you that this was David Lynch's version of "Dune,"

我不需要提醒你那部電影是大偉林區版的,

in which all of the characters

在所有的角色裡,

were sexy and deformed at the same time.

畸形和性感同時存在.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

There was a character called the Third-Stage Guild Navigator,

有一個主角覺劇場版航海家,

which was a kind of giant, floating fetus-creature

這是一個巨大的池塘,她孕育著生命

that lived in a giant tank with this orange mist

這個巨大的池塘散發著香橙的

of psychedelic spice

迷幻味道

swirling around him,

環繞著他,

allowing him to bend space and time.

讓他有能力扭曲時間與空間.

He could never leave the tank

並永遠不能離開這個池塘

or interact with the outside world.

或者說與外界有任何联系.

He had become, in his isolation,

他認為,在他的獨立的世界,

so deformed and so sexy,

醜陋與性感是並存的,

that he had to talk through a kind of old-timey radio

他通過一種老式的電台

to the outside world, and could never touch them.

向外界傳播,但是永遠觸及不到他們.

I mean, I liked him a lot better than the sandworms.

我是說,我喜歡他們勝過沙蟲.

The sandworms were fine, but your favorite character?

沙蟲固然好,但要成為我最喜歡的角色?

Please.

算了吧

When the movie ended,

當影片結束,

everyone seemed very happy

每個人洋溢著笑容

to get up and get out of the theatre as soon as possible.

都匆忙的走出了影院.

Except for the girl.

除了一個女孩.

As I walked out, her pace slowed.

當我走過她身邊,她放緩步伐.

Perhaps it was the crutches,

也許她拄著拐杖,

but it seemed --

假裝是這樣--

(Laughter) --

(笑聲)

it seemed as though she might want to talk to me again.

看來她還想和我搭訕.

When I say it out loud, it sounds so ridiculous,

當我說出來,聽起來卻很滑稽,

but I can only come to the conclusion

我只能得出這樣的結論

that it was what, in the alien abductee community,

這是一個外星球社區

they call a "screen memory":

他們稱之為"遮蔽性記憶"

a ridiculous false recollection designed by their brain

大腦給他們一個可笑錯誤的記憶

to cover up some trauma -- say, of being kidnapped

去掩蓋一些創傷--被外星人綁架後

and flown off to a sex pyramid.

飛往金字塔發生性關係.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And so I sure am glad

我當然很高興

I did not slow down to talk to her.

所以我並沒有慢下腳步跟她說話.

I sure am glad I never saw her again.

我很高興從那時起我再沒見過她.

Close encounter three: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,

遭遇三:賓夕法尼亞州的費城,

1989.

1989年

In the mid-to-late '80s,

八十世紀末,

the novelist Whitley Strieber wrote a book called "Communion,"

小說家Whitley Strieber寫了本自傳<交流>,

in which he described his own lifelong experiences

自傳中他描述了

being abducted by aliens.

被外星人綁架的經歷.

And he also described the phenomenon known in this community

還有一些奇怪的現象

as "lost time,"

稱之為"間接性失憶"

where Whitley Strieber would suddenly become aware

Whitley Strieber突然意識到

that he could not remember the previous ten minutes,

他不記得十分鐘以前發生的事,

or the previous ten hours, or the previous ten days.

甚至十小時,十天.

And would come to the conclusion that that was when the aliens

得出的結論是,當外星人

were taking him and giving him rectal probes.

抓住他後給他做直腸探頭.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

This book became, naturally, an enormous best-seller.

這本書成為史上最牛的暢銷書籍.

This image by Ted Joseph was from that book,

圖片是由Ted Joseph提供,

and was his, sort of, police sketch

圖片從某種意義上

of what the creatures looked like

像警方示意圖

that Whitley Strieber had described to him.

Whitley Strieber說到.

And it was so successful that they made it into a movie.

這是一個非常棒的電影題材.

And in 1989, the way I remember it,

記得在1989年,

I was in Philadelphia

我去費城--

visiting my girlfriend, and we decided,

拜訪我女朋友,我們臨時決定,

apropos of nothing, to go see this movie.

去看電影.

And the way I remember it, the movie featured these details.

我記得,電影展現了許多細節.

One: Whitley Strieber

一:Whitley Strieber

was played by Christopher Walken.

由Christopher Walken扮演.

Two: the alien was played by a rubber puppet.

二:外星人的扮演者是橡膠面具.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Three: there was a surprisingly long

三:有一個出乎意料的

sequence of the film in which the rubber puppet

長序列橡膠面具電影

gives Christopher Walken a rectal probe.

給Christopher Walken做直腸探頭.

Four: this was being shown

四:影片正在上映

in a regular movie theater in Center City, Philadelphia.

在費城的各大影院.

Five: all of which is to say,

五:所有人都說,

they made a movie out of the book, "Communion,"

電影是由"交流"改編.

and it starred Christopher Walken.

主角是 Christopher Walken.

Does something seem strange about this to you?

是哪裡出了問題?

Something odd? Something off? Something wrong with this picture?

靈異事件？虛構事物？照片的毛病？

Think about it. Yes. The answer is:

想一想，是的。答案是：

I had a girlfriend. What?

我曾經有個女朋友.瘋了麼?

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

How did this happen? When did this happen?

這是如何發生的?什麼時候發生的?

I remember walking out of the theater

我記得我走出影院

and becoming suddenly aware of this fact,

並突然意識到這是真的,

as we walked hand in hand,

正如我們手牽手漫步,

and pondering these very same questions.

卻思考著同樣的問題.

And to this day, I have no answer for you.

至今,我都無法回答.

Close encounter four: the Algarve,

遭遇四: 阿爾加瓦

Portugal, 1991.

葡萄牙,1991.

Some years later, I and this woman --

許多年過後,我和這個女人--

we'll call her "Catherine Fletcher" --

我們將稱她為“Catherine Fletcher”-

(Laughter) --

(笑聲)

went traveling through the south of Portugal together.

我們穿越葡萄牙南部去旅行.

We stayed in old, crumbling, walled cities,

我們住在古老的搖搖欲墜的圍城裡.

in tiny little hotels,

在小旅館裡,

and we would climb up to the roof and drink Vinho Verde

我們爬到屋頂喝著葡萄牙清酒

and watch the sun set and play checkers.

看日落玩跳棋.

What? Did we do this? Really? Does anyone do this?

什麼?我們做了這些麼?真的麼?有人會做這樣的事情麼?

We went to some topless beaches.

我們去裸體海灘

Excuse me? No, not in my life.

醒醒?我不是在做夢吧.

For what it's worth, we went to Sagres,

不論真偽.我們去了葡萄牙的一個小鎮,

which was considered, at the time, to be the end of the world.

曾經一度﹐人們認為它就是世界的終點

And there I was chased by a pack of feral dogs on the dock,

在那裡我被野狗追咬,

and the lead dog bit me on the ass,

最後領頭的狗咬了我的屁股,

requiring me to go to a strange Portuguese clinic

他們帶我去一個陌生的葡萄牙診所

and receive an ass shot.

接受屁股的治療.

Make of that what you will.

你可以合理的遐想一下.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Our last day in Portugal,

在葡萄牙的最後一天,

we were in the district capital of Faro,

我們在葡萄牙的首府,

and Catherine decided that she wanted to go to the beach

Catherine想去海灘轉一圈

one last time.

最後一圈.

Now, Faro is a bustling little city,

Faro是個熱鬧的小城市,

and to get to the beach, she explained, you would have to take

她說去海邊要乘公交車

a bus and then a boat.

再換乘個小船.

And did I want to come with?

你願意跟我一起去麼?

But I was exhausted and dog-bitten, and so I said, "No."

我摸著被咬壞的屁股已經筋疲力盡了,我說"我不去了."

I remember what she looked like before she left.

至今我還記得她黯然離開時失望的眼神.

The freckles had grown

這個雀斑女已經長大

and multiplied on her face and shoulders,

雀斑在她的臉龐和肩頭上倍增,

clustering into a kind of a tan.

匯聚成一種巧克力色.

A tan, we were both tan --

結果我們皮膚都曬成了巧克力色.

is this true?

這是真的嗎?

Her eyes were extra bright and extra blue, as a result.

她的眼睛是藍色的格外的亮,最後.

She was smiling.

她笑了.

She was a single woman about to go alone into a country,

一個單身女人獨自到一個陌生的國家,

not even speaking the language,

甚至沒有相通的語言,

to travel alone by bus and boat

獨自乘著公車和小船去旅行

to go to a beach she did not know

去一個連她自己都不知道在哪的海灘

or had never seen.

或者她從未見過.

I loved her, and then she went out

我愛她,當她走到那個奇怪的

into that strange, alien land.

外星人領域.

It took me some time to come to my senses.

我重新整理了我的思緒.

I had my own "lost time" moment,

我有屬於我的"失憶時段",

where I woke up and suddenly realized

我突然醒了,意識到

it was very late in the day, almost dinnertime,

時間已經不早了,差不多到了晚飯時間,

and she had not come back.

但她還沒回來

Nervous, I went down to the street to look for her.

我感到不安,於是上街去找她.

Now, I did not speak Portuguese.

現在,我不會葡萄牙語.

I did not know where the beach was.

我也不知道沙灘在哪?

I could not call her on a cell phone because this was 1991,

我同樣不能打電話給她因為那是1991年,

and the aliens had not given us that technology yet.

那時外星人也沒給我們這項技術.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I realized that the day would only have

我意識到這一天只有

two possible outcomes:

只有兩種可能的結果:

either Catherine would come back to the hotel,

Catherine 自己回到小旅館

or she would never come back to the hotel.

或者她再也不回來了.

And so I sat down to wait.

我只能坐下來等.

I did not watch the skies, but the very end of the street

我沒有注視著天空,而是盯著街道的盡頭

where the buses and cars and pedestrians

那裡的公車汽車和行人

and little scooters were moving along.

和小踏板車在前行著.

And I watched those constellations shift,

我看著那些星球的轉變,

hoping that they would part and I would see her face.

多希望他們能讓我看到你的臉.

It was at that moment,

就在那一刻,

in that very small town of 30,000 or so,

在一個容納30000人的小鎮上,

that I truly appreciated the vastness of the universe

我真正欣賞到宇宙的浩瀚

and the searching we might do in it.

搜尋我們想要的.

And that's when the Liberians came along.

那時利比里亞人走了過來.

Five young men -- all laughing, happy, traveling together,

5個年輕人--他們都開心的笑著同行,

coming back to this hotel where they were staying.

回到他們的住所.

One of them was named Joseph, and he asked me

其中一個名叫Joseph,他問我我來做什麼,

what was I doing, and I explained.

我向他解釋.

And he said, "Don't worry." He was sure that Catherine would be safe.

他說,"不要擔心,"他確信Catherine是安全的.

But he did not seem so very sure,

但他看起來不太確信,

for he sat down to wait with me.

因為他跟我一起坐下來.

And for the next two hours, they all waited with me:

接下來的兩個小時,他們和我一起等待.

taking turns, going up to their room, coming back,

他們輪流來我房間

telling me jokes, distracting me.

講笑話安慰我,分散我的注意力.

Two hours, they gave me a message.

兩小時後,他們給我捎口信.

We are not alone.

我們並不孤獨.

And then, in the middle of a sentence, at the very birth of twilight,

這時,字裡行間之中讓人感到暮光的開始.

I turned and looked down the street.

我轉過身來,看著街上.

The stars aligned, and she came back.

星星排成一排,她回來了.

She was smiling. She did not understand why I was so worried.

她笑著,她並不知道我為何而難過.

Neither did the Liberians,

利比里亞人也不理解,

although there was a huge amount of relief in their laughter

他們的笑聲裡有著很多的寬慰.

as they clapped us on the back, and went back up to their room

他們在心底為我們鼓掌,默默回到房間

and left us alone in the street, holding hands.

讓我們獨自在街上,手牽手.

An event like this leaves a scar on the memory,

這像記憶中的傷痛,

much like a piece of alien technology

被一個叫做"葡萄牙的醫生"的人

that has been inserted into your buttocks

把一塊外星人的高科技

by a "Portuguese doctor."

植入到你的臀部.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And even now, a decade and a half later,

即使到現在,15年以後,

even now that we are married,

我們結婚了,

I look for her still, whenever she is not in the room.

我隨時找她時她仍不在房間.

And even though, I think you'll agree, it is probable

我認為你也同意,

that during the time she was away,

很可能是在她外出時,

she was kidnapped and replaced by an alien clone,

被外星人綁架甚至複製,

I love her and wait for her still.

但我會一直愛她,等著她.

Thank you for your kind attention.

感謝您的關注.

(Applause)

(掌聲)