Shaka Senghor: Why your worst deeds don't define you | TED

Translator: Kristián Leško Reviewer: Robert Staffen

Twenty-three years ago,

Pred dvadsiatimi troma rokmi,

at the age of 19,

vo veku devätnástich rokov,

I shot and killed a man.

som zastrelil človeka.

I was a young drug dealer

Bol som mladý drogový díler

with a quick temper

s prchkou povahou

and a semi-automatic pistol.

a poloautomatickou pištoľou.

But that wasn't the end of my story.

To však nebol koniec môjho príbehu.

In fact, it was beginning,

Vlastne to bol začiatok

and the 23 years since

a uplynulých 23 rokov

is a story of acknowledgment,

je príbehom prijatia,

apology and atonement.

ospravedlnenia a zmierenia.

But it didn't happen in the way

No nestalo sa to tak,

that you might imagine or think.

ako si predstavujete alebo myslíte.

These things occurred in my life

Tieto veci sa u mňa odohrali

in a way that was surprising,

spôsobom, ktorý bol prekvapujúci,

especially to me.

najmä pre mňa.

See, like many of you,

Pozrite, tak, ako mnohí z vás,

growing up, I was an honor roll student,

aj ja som bol v škole jednotkár,

a scholarship student,

dostával som štipendiá,

with dreams of becoming a doctor.

sníval o tom, že sa stanem doktorom.

But things went dramatically wrong

No veci sa dramaticky pokazili,

when my parents separated

keď sa moji rodičia rozišli

and eventually divorced.

a následne rozviedli.

The actual events are pretty straightforward.

Samotné udalosti boli pomerne priamočiare.

At the age of 17,

Vo veku sedemnástich rokov

I got shot three times

som bol trikrát postrelený,

standing on the corner of my block in Detroit.

keď som stál na rohu našej bytovky v Detroite.

My friend rushed me to the hospital.

Priateľ ma rýchlo odviezol do nemocnice.

Doctors pulled the bullets out,

Doktori vytiahli guľky,

patched me up,

zašili ma

and sent me back to the same neighborhood where I got shot.

a poslali ma späť tam, kde som bol postrelený.

Throughout this ordeal,

Počas celého tohto zážitku

no one hugged me,

ma nikto neobjal,

no one counseled me,

nikto ma neutešoval,

no one told me I would be okay.

nikto mi nepovedal, že budem v poriadku.

No one told me that I would live in fear,

Nikto mi nepovedal, že budem žiť v strachu,

that I would become paranoid,

že začnem byť paranoidný

or that I would react hyper-violently

alebo že začnem na postrelenie

to being shot.

reagovať prehnane násilne.

No one told me that one day,

Nikto mi nepovedal, že jedného dňa

I would become the person behind the trigger.

budem ja stláčať spúšť.

Fourteen months later,

O štrnásť mesiacov neskôr,

at 2 a.m.,

o druhej ráno,

I fired the shots

som vystrelil náboje,

that caused a man's death.

ktoré spôsobili smrť človeka.

When I entered prison,

Keď som vstúpil do väznice,

I was bitter, I was angry, I was hurt.

bol som trpký, nahnevaný, zranený.

I didn't want to take responsibility.

Nechcel som prijať zodpovednosť.

I blamed everybody from my parents

Obviňoval som každého od svojich rodičov

to the system.

až po systém.

I rationalized my decision to shoot

Ospravedlňoval som si svoje rozhodnutie,

because in the hood where I come from,

lebo v oblasti, odkiaľ pochádzam,

it's better to be the shooter

je lepšie byť strelcom,

than the person getting shot.

ako zastreleným.

As I sat in my cold cell,

Keď som sedel vo svojej chladnej cele,

I felt helpless,

cítil som sa bezmocný,

unloved and abandoned.

nemilovaný a opustený.

I felt like nobody cared,

Mal som pocit, že všetkým je to jedno,

and I reacted

a reagoval som

with hostility to my confinement.

na svoje uväznenie nepriateľsky.

And I found myself getting

A zrazu som sa dostával

deeper and deeper into trouble.

hlbšie a hlbšie do problémov.

I ran black market stores,

Prevádzkoval som čierny trh,

I loan sharked,

venoval som sa úžere

and I sold drugs that were illegally smuggled

a predával som drogy, ktoré boli pašované

into the prison.

do väzenia.

I had in fact become

Stal som sa tým,

what the warden of the Michigan Reformatory called

koho dozorcovia Nápravného ústavu Michigan

"the worst of the worst."

volali „najhorší z najhorších“.

And because of my activity,

Pre svoju aktivitu

I landed in solitary confinement

som skončil na samotke

for seven and a half years

na sedem a pol roka

out of my incarceration.

z môjho trestu.

Now as I see it, solitary confinement

Keď sa na to teraz pozerám, samotka

is one of the most inhumane and barbaric places

je jedno z najviac neľudských, barbarských

you can find yourself,

miest, na akých sa môžete nájsť,

but find myself I did.

no ja som sa tam našiel.

One day, I was pacing my cell,

Jedného dňa som sa prechádzal po cele,

when an officer came and delivered mail.

keď prišiel dôstojník a priniesol poštu.

I looked at a couple of letters

Prezrel som si listy

before I looked at the letter

a potom som si všimol list,

that had my son's squiggly handwriting on it.

ktorý mal na sebe krivolaké písmo môjho syna.

And anytime I would get a letter from my son,

Keď som dostal list od syna,

it was like a ray of light

bolo to ako lúč svetla

in the darkest place you can imagine.

na najtmavšom mieste, aké si dokážete predstaviť.

And on this particular day, I opened this letter,

V ten deň som otvoril ten list

and in capital letters, he wrote,

a videl, ako veľkými písmenami napísal:

"My mama told me why you was in prison:

„Mamka mi povedala, prečo si vo väzení:

murder."

vražda.“

He said, "Dad, don't kill.

Písal: „Ocko, nezabíjaj.

Jesus watches what you do. Pray to Him."

Ježiš sa pozerá, čo robíš. Modli sa k Nemu.“

Now, I wasn't religious at that time,

Nebol som v tom čase pobožný,

nor am I religious now,

ani teraz nie som,

but it was something so profound

ale v slovách môjho syna

about my son's words.

bolo niečo veľmi hlboké.

They made me examine things about my life

Prinútili ma skúmať v mojom živote

that I hadn't considered.

veci, o ktorých som nepremýšľal.

It was the first time in my life

Bolo to prvýkrát v mojom živote,

that I had actually thought about the fact

čo som naozaj premýšľal o skutočnosti,

that my son would see me as a murderer.

že môj syn sa na mňa bude pozerať ako na vraha.

I sat back on my bunk

Sadol som si na posteľ

and I reflected on something I had read

a premýšľal o čomsi, čo som čítal

in [Plato],

v [Platónovi]:

where Socrates stated in "Apology"

Sokrates v diele Ospravedlnenie napísal,

that the unexamined life isn't worth living.

že nepreskúmaný život nestojí za to, aby bol žitý.

At that point is when the transformation began.

Vtedy začala premena.

But it didn't come easy.

Nebola však jednoduchá.

One of the things I realized,

Jedna z vecí, ktoré som si uvedomil

which was part of the transformation,

ako súčasť transformácie,

was that there were four key things.

bola, že sú štyri kľúčové veci.

The first thing was,

Prvou vecou bolo,

I had great mentors.

že mám skvelých mentorov.

Now, I know some of you all are probably thinking,

Viem, že väčšina z vás si zrejme myslí:

how did you find a great mentor in prison?

ako si našiel skvelého mentora vo väzení?

But in my case,

V mojom prípade však

some of my mentors

niektorí mentori,

who are serving life sentences

ktorí boli odsúdení na doživotie,

were some of the best people to ever come into my life,

patrili k najlepším ľuďom, akých som v živote stretol,

because they forced me to look at my life honestly,

lebo ma prinútili pozrieť sa na svoj život úprimne

and they forced me to challenge myself

a prinútili ma byť zodpovedným

about my decision making.

v robení rozhodnutí.

The second thing was literature.

Druhou vecou bola literatúra.

Prior to going to prison,

Než som šiel do väzenia,

I didn't know that there were so many brilliant

nevedel som, že existuje toľko úžasných

black poets, authors and philosophers,

čiernych básnikov, autorov a filozofov,

and then I had the great fortune

no potom som mal šťastie:

of encountering Malcolm X's autobiography,

narazil som na autobiografiu Malcolma X

and it shattered every stereotype I had about myself.

a to rozbilo všetky stereotypy, ktoré som vo vzťahu k sebe mal.

The third thing was family.

Treťou vecou bola rodina.

For 19 years, my father stood by my side

Počas 19 rokov môj otec stál po mojom boku

with an unshakable faith,

s neotrasiteľnou vierou,

because he believed that I had what it took

pretože veril, že mám, čo treba,

to turn my life around.

aby som chod svojho života obrátil.

I also met an amazing woman

Stretol som tiež úžasnú ženu,

who is now the mother of my two-year-old son Sekou,

ktorá je teraz matkou môjho dvojročného syna Sekoua,

and she taught me how to love myself

a tá ma naučila, ako milovať seba samého

in a healthy way.

zdravým spôsobom.

The final thing was writing.

Poslednou vecou bolo písanie.

When I got that letter from my son,

Po tom liste od môjho syna

I began to write a journal

som začal písať denník

about things I had experienced in my childhood

o veciach, ktoré som zakúsil počas detstva

and in prison,

a vo väznici,

and what it did is it opened up my mind to the idea

čo otvorilo moju myseľ myšlienke

of atonement.

zmierenia.

Earlier in my incarceration, I had received

Ešte skôr počas uväznenia som dostal

a letter from one of the relatives of my victim,

list od jednej príbuznej mojej obete

and in that letter,

a v tom liste

she told me she forgave me,

mi povedala, že mi odpúšťa,

because she realized I was a young child

lebo si uvedomila, že som mladé dieťa,

who had been abused

ktoré bolo zneužívané,

and had been through some hardships

prešlo mnohými ťažkosťami

and just made a series of poor decisions.

a vykonalo sériu zlých rozhodnutí.

It was the first time in my life

Bolo to prvý raz v mojom živote,

that I ever felt open to forgiving myself.

čo som sa cítil otvorený myšlienke, že by som si mohol odpustiť.

One of the things that happened

Jednou z vecí, čo sa stali

after that experience is that

po tej skúsenosti, bolo,

I thought about the other men who were incarcerated

že som premýšľal o iných väzňoch,

alongside of me,

ktorí boli so mnou,

and how much I wanted to share this with them.

a o tom, ako veľmi to s nimi chcem zdieľať.

And so I started talking to them about

A tak som sa s nimi začal zhovárať

some of their experiences,

o niektorých ich skúsenostiach

and I was devastated to realize

a ničilo ma uvedomenie,

that most of them came from the same abusive environments,

že väčšina z nich pochádzala z rovnakého prostredia plného obťažovania

And most of them wanted help and they wanted to turn it around,

a väčšina z nich chcela pomoc, chceli to všetko zvrátiť,

but unfortunately the system

no nanešťastie systém,

that currently holds 2.5 million people in prison

ktorý momentálne udržuje vo väzení 2,5 milióna ľudí,

is designed to warehouse

je navrhnutý tak, aby uskladňoval,

as opposed to rehabilitate or transform.

nie aby naprával alebo premieňal.

So I made it up in my mind

Takže som sa v duchu rozhodol,

that if I was ever released from prison

že ak niekedy budem prepustený,

that I would do everything in my power

urobím všetko v mojich silách,

to help change that.

aby som to pomohol zmeniť.

In 2010, I walked out of prison

V roku 2010 som vyšiel z väznice

for the first time after two decades.

po prvý raz po dvoch desaťročiach.

Now imagine, if you will,

Ak chcete, skúste si predstaviť,

Fred Flintstone walking into an episode

ako Fred Flinstone vojde do epizódy

of "The Jetsons."

seriálu „The Jetsons“.

That was pretty much what my life was like.

Asi taký bol môj život.

For the first time, I was exposed to the Internet,

Prvýkrát som bol zoznámený s internetom,

social media,

sociálnymi sieťami,

cars that talk like KITT from "Knight Rider."

autami, ktoré rozprávajú ako KITT z Knight Ridera.

But the thing that fascinated me the most

Najviac ma však fascinovala

was phone technology.

technológia telefónov.

See, when I went to prison,

Keď som šiel do väzenia,

our car phones were this big

naše autotelefóny boli takto veľké

and required two people to carry them.

a museli ich nosiť dvaja ľudia.

So imagine what it was like when I first grabbed

Tak si predstavte, keď som vzal do ruky

my little Blackberry

svoje malé Blackberry

and I started learning how to text.

a začal som sa učiť písať správy.

But the thing is, the people around me,

Problém však je, že ľudia okolo mňa

they didn't realize that I had no idea

si neuvedomovali, že som netušil,

what all these abbreviated texts meant,

čo znamenajú všetky tie skratky

like LOL, OMG, LMAO,

ako LOL, OMG, LMAO,

until one day I was having a conversation

až kým som jedného dňa mal rozhovor

with one of my friends via text,

s jedným priateľom cez správy,

and I asked him to do something, and he responded back, "K."

poprosil som ho, aby niečo urobil, a on odpovedal: "K."

And I was like, "What is K?"

Pýtal som sa: "Čo je K?"

And he was like, "K is okay."

Povedal: "K je okej."

So in my head, I was like,

Tak som rozmýšľal:

"Well what the hell is wrong with K?"

„Čo dopekla sa stalo tomu K?“

And so I text him a question mark.

Tak som mu poslal otáznik.

And he said, "K = okay."

A on odpísal: „K = okej“.

And so I tap back, "FU." (Laughter)

Tak som napísal: „FU“. (Smiech)

And then he texts back, and he asks me

Potom mi odpísal a pýtal sa,

why was I cussing him out.

prečo naňho nadávam.

And I said, "LOL FU,"

A ja som napísal: „LOL FU“,

as in, I finally understand.

že „už chápem“ (finally understand).

(Laughter)

(Smiech)

And so fast forward three years,

A tak teraz, po troch rokoch,

I'm doing relatively good.

si vediem celkom dobre.

I have a fellowship at MIT Media Lab,

Mám väzby s laboratóriom MIT,

I work for an amazing company called BMe,

pracujem pre úžasnú spoločnosť zvanú BMe,

I teach at the University of Michigan,

učím na Michiganskej univerzite,

but it's been a struggle

no bol to boj,

because I realize that there are more

lebo si uvedomujem, že je veľa

men and women coming home

mužov a žien, ktorí prídu domov

who are not going to be afforded those opportunities.

a nedostanú také príležitosti.

I've been blessed to work with some amazing

Mal som šťastie pracovať s úžasnými

men and women,

mužmi a ženami, ktorí pomáhajú

helping others reenter society,

iným s návratmi do spoločnosti,

and one of them is my friend named Calvin Evans.

a jedným z nich je môj priateľ Calvin Evans.

He served 24 years for a crime he didn't commit.

Odsedel si 24 rokov za zločin, ktorý nespáchal.

He's 45 years old. He's currently enrolled in college.

Má 45 rokov. Momentálne nastúpil na výšku.

And one of the things that we talked about

Okrem iného sme sa rozprávali

is the three things that I found important

o troch veciach, ktoré boli dôležité

in my personal transformation,

v mojej osobnej premene,

the first being acknowledgment.

z ktorých prvá je prijatie.

I had to acknowledge that I had hurt others.

Musel som pripustiť, že som iných zranil.

I also had to acknowledge that I had been hurt.

Musel som tiež pripustiť, že som bol zranený.

The second thing was apologizing.

Druhou vecou bolo ospravedlnenie.

I had to apologize to the people I had hurt.

Musel som sa ospravedlniť, komu som ublížil.

Even though I had no expectations of them accepting it,

Hoci som nečakal, že by to prijali,

it was important to do because it was the right thing.

bolo to dôležité, lebo to bola správna vec.

But I also had to apologize to myself.

No musel som sa tiež ospravedlniť sebe samému.

The third thing was atoning.

Treťou vecou bolo zmierenie.

For me, atoning meant

Pre mňa zmierenie znamenalo

going back into my community

návrat do mojej komunity

and working with at-risk youth

a prácu s rizikovou mládežou,

who were on the same path,

ktorá bola na rovnakej ceste,

but also becoming at one with myself.

no tiež zmierenie so sebou samým.

Through my experience of being locked up,

Vďaka mojej skúsenosti s väzením

one of the things I discovered is this:

som odhalil napríklad toto:

the majority of men and women

pre väčšinu mužov a žien,

who are incarcerated are redeemable,

ktorí sú uväznení, existuje cesta späť,

and the fact is,

a skutočnosťou je,

90 percent of the men and women who are incarcerated

že 90 percent mužov a žien, ktorí sú uväznení,

will at some point return to the community,

sa v istom čase vráti do komunity

and we have a role in determining what kind

a my hráme rolu pri určovaní, akí

of men and women return to our community.

muži a aké ženy sa vrátia do našej komunity.

My wish today

Mojím želaním dnes je,

is that we will embrace

aby sme prijali

a more empathetic approach

empatickejší prístup

toward how we deal with mass incarceration,

k tomu, ako reagujeme na masové uväznenie,

that we will do away with

aby sme sa zbavili

the lock-them-up-and-throw-away-the-key mentality,

mentality, ktorá ich bezhlavo odsudzuje,

because it's proven it doesn't work.

lebo je dokázané, že nefunguje.

My journey is a unique journey,

Moja cesta je unikátnou cestou,

but it doesn't have to be that way.

ale nemusí to tak byť.

Anybody can have a transformation

Každý môže zažiť premenu,

if we create the space for that to happen.

ak pre ňu vytvoríme miesto.

So what I'm asking today

Takže dnes prosím o to,

is that you envision

aby ste si predstavili

a world where men and women

svet, kde sa z mužov a žien

aren't held hostage to their pasts,

nerobia rukojemníci ich minulosti,

where misdeeds and mistakes

kde vás zlé skutky a chyby

don't define you for the rest of your life.

nedefinujú po zvyšok vášho života.

I think collectively, we can create that reality,

Myslím si, že spoločne to dokážeme urobiť realitou,

and I hope you do too.

a verím, že aj vy si to myslíte.

Thank you.

Ďakujem.

(Applause)

(Potlesk)