My son was a Columbine shooter. This is my story | Sue Klebold | TED

12,235,632 views ・ 2017-02-27

TED


μ•„λž˜ μ˜λ¬Έμžλ§‰μ„ λ”λΈ”ν΄λ¦­ν•˜μ‹œλ©΄ μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.

λ²ˆμ—­: Kyo young Chu κ²€ν† : Jihyeon J. Kim
00:12
The last time I heard my son's voice
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μ œκ°€ λ§ˆμ§€λ§‰μœΌλ‘œ μ•„λ“€μ˜ λͺ©μ†Œλ¦¬λ₯Ό 듀은 것은
00:15
was when he walked out the front door
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λ“±κ΅ν•˜λŸ¬ 문을 λ‚˜μ„€ λ•Œμ˜€μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:17
on his way to school.
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00:20
He called out one word in the darkness:
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κ·ΈλŠ” μ–΄λ‘  μ†μ—μ„œ ν•œλ§ˆλ””λ₯Ό λ˜μ‘ŒμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:23
"Bye."
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"λ‹€λ…€μ˜€κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€."
00:24
It was April 20, 1999.
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κ·Έ 날은 1999λ…„ 4μ›” 20μΌμ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:28
Later that morning, at Columbine High School,
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κ·Έλ‚  μ˜€μ „ μ½œλŸΌλ°”μΈ κ³ λ“±ν•™κ΅μ—μ„œ
00:31
my son Dylan and his friend Eric
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제 μ•„λ“€ λ”œλŸ°κ³Ό 친ꡬ 에릭은
00:34
killed 12 students and a teacher
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학생 12λͺ…κ³Ό ꡐ사 1λͺ…을 죽이고
00:38
and wounded more than 20 others before taking their own lives.
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20λͺ…이 λ„˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ„ λ‹€μΉ˜κ²Œ ν•œ λ’€ 슀슀둜 λͺ©μˆ¨μ„ λŠμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:42
Thirteen innocent people were killed,
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13λͺ…μ˜ λ¬΄κ³ ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ μ‚΄ν•΄λ‹Ήν–ˆκ³ 
00:46
leaving their loved ones in a state of grief and trauma.
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ν”Όν•΄μžμ˜ κ°€μ‘±λ“€μ—κ²ŒλŠ” μŠ¬ν””κ³Ό 트라우마λ₯Ό λ‚¨κ²ΌμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:50
Others sustained injuries,
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외상을 λ‹Ήν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€λ„ μžˆμ—ˆκ³ 
00:52
some resulting in disfigurement and permanent disability.
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평생 μž₯μ• λ₯Ό μ•ˆκ³  μ‚΄μ•„κ°€μ•Ό ν•˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒλ“€λ„ μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:57
But the enormity of the tragedy
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 이 λΉ„κ·Ήμ˜ 규λͺ¨λ₯Ό
00:59
can't be measured only by the number of deaths and injuries that took place.
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단지 μ‚¬λ§μžμ™€ λΆ€μƒμž 수만으둜 μΈ‘μ •ν•  μˆ˜λŠ” 없을 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:04
There's no way to quantify the psychological damage
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사건 λ‹Ήμ‹œ 학ꡐ에 μžˆμ—ˆλ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€κ³Ό
01:07
of those who were in the school,
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ꡬ쑰 및 사건 ν˜„μž₯ μˆ˜μŠ΅μ„ λ§‘μ•˜λ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ˜
01:09
or who took part in rescue or cleanup efforts.
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정신적 ν”Όν•΄λ₯Ό μˆ˜λŸ‰μœΌλ‘œ ν™˜μ‚°ν•˜λŠ”κ²ƒμ€ λΆˆκ°€λŠ₯ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:14
There's no way to assess the magnitude of a tragedy like Columbine,
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μ»¬λŸΌλ°”μΈ μ‚¬νƒœμ™€ 같은 λΉ„κ·Ήμ˜ 규λͺ¨λ₯Ό μΈ‘μ •ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” 방법은 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:18
especially when it can be a blueprint
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특히 κ·Έ μ‚¬νƒœκ°€ 또 λ‹€λ₯Έ μž”ν˜Ήν•œ ν–‰μœ„λ₯Ό 저지λ₯΄λ €λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ²Œ
01:20
for other shooters who go on to commit atrocities of their own.
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μ„ λ‘€λ‘œ μž‘μš©ν•  수 μžˆμ„ λ•ŒλŠ” λ”μš± κ·Έλ ‡μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:25
Columbine was a tidal wave,
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μ»¬λŸΌλ°”μΈμ€ λ°€λ €μ˜€λŠ” 해일과 κ°™μ•˜μœΌλ©°
01:28
and when the crash ended,
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그리고 해일이 λ©Žμ—ˆμ„ λ•Œ
01:29
it would take years for the community and for society
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지역 곡동체와 μ‚¬νšŒκ°€ κ·Έ 영ν–₯을 λ°›μ•„λ“€μ΄λŠ” λ°λŠ”
01:33
to comprehend its impact.
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였랜 μ‹œκ°„μ΄ 걸릴 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:36
It has taken me years to try to accept my son's legacy.
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μ œκ°€ μ•„λ“€μ˜ 운λͺ…을 λ°›μ•„λ“€μ΄λŠ” 것도 수 년이 κ±Έλ ΈμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:41
The cruel behavior that defined the end of his life
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그의 λ§ˆμ§€λ§‰ 생을 μ •μ˜ν•œ μž”ν˜Ήν•œ ν–‰μœ„λŠ”
01:44
showed me that he was a completely different person from the one I knew.
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아듀이 μ œκ°€ μ•„λŠ” 그의 λͺ¨μŠ΅κ³Ό μ™„μ „νžˆ λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄μ—ˆμŒμ„ λ³΄μ—¬μ€¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:49
Afterwards people asked,
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κ·Έ 후에, μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ 제게 λ¬Όμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:51
"How could you not know?
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"μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ λͺ¨λ₯Ό μˆ˜κ°€ 있죠?
01:54
What kind of a mother were you?"
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μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ μ—„λ§ˆκ°€ 그럴 수 있죠?"
01:57
I still ask myself those same questions.
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μ €λŠ” μ§€κΈˆκΉŒμ§€λ„ 제게 같은 μ§ˆλ¬Έμ„ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:00
Before the shootings, I thought of myself as a good mom.
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총격 사건 이전에, 제 μžμ‹ μ„ 쒋은 μ—„λ§ˆλΌκ³  μƒκ°ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:04
Helping my children become caring,
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μ €μ˜ 아이듀이 배렀심 깊고, κ±΄κ°•ν•˜κ³ 
02:07
healthy, responsible adults
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μ±…μž„κ° μžˆλŠ” μ–΄λ₯ΈμœΌλ‘œ μ„±μž₯ν•˜λ„λ‘ λ„μ™€μ£ΌλŠ” 것이
02:09
was the most important role of my life.
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제 μΈμƒμ—μ„œ κ°€μž₯ μ€‘μš”ν•œ μ—­ν• μ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:13
But the tragedy convinced me that I failed as a parent,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ κ·Έ 비극은 μ œκ°€ μ‹€νŒ¨ν•œ λΆ€λͺ¨λΌκ³  μƒκ°ν•˜κ²Œ ν–ˆκ³ 
02:17
and it's partially this sense of failure that brings me here today.
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μ œκ°€ 여기에 μ„œκ²Œ 된 μ΄μœ κ°€ λ°”λ‘œ κ·Έ 생각 λ•Œλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:23
Aside from his father,
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그의 아버지λ₯Ό μ œμ™Έν•˜λ©΄
02:24
I was the one person who knew and loved Dylan the most.
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μ œκ°€ λ”œλŸ°μ„ κ°€μž₯ 잘 μ•Œκ³ , μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:28
If anyone could have known what was happening,
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λ§Œμ•½ 무언가 잘λͺ»λ˜μ—ˆμŒμ„ μ•Œμ•„μ±˜μ„ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ μžˆμ—ˆλ‹€λ©΄
02:30
it should have been me, right?
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그것은 μ €μ˜€μ–΄μ•Ό ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. κ·Έλ ‡μ£ ?
02:33
But I didn't know.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ €λŠ” μ•Œμ§€ λͺ»ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:37
Today, I'm here to share the experience
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였늘, μ €λŠ” 타인을 죽이고, λ‹€μΉ˜κ²Œ ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒμ˜
02:39
of what it's like to be the mother of someone who kills and hurts.
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μ–΄λ¨Έλ‹ˆκ°€ λ˜λŠ” κ²½ν—˜μ„ λ‚˜λˆ„κ³ μž 이 μžλ¦¬μ— μ„°μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:44
For years after the tragedy, I combed through memories,
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비극이 μΌμ–΄λ‚œ ν›„, μ €λŠ” λΆ€λͺ¨λ‘œμ„œ μ‹€νŒ¨ν•œ 뢀뢄을
02:47
trying to figure out exactly where I failed as a parent.
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μ •ν™•νžˆ νŒŒμ•…ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•΄ 기얡을 λ”λ“¬μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:52
But there are no simple answers.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ κ°„λ‹¨ν•œ 정닡은 μ—†μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:54
I can't give you any solutions.
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„κ»˜ 해결책을 μ œμ‹œν•  μˆ˜λ„ μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:57
All I can do
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μ œκ°€ ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” κ²ƒμ΄λΌκ³ λŠ”
02:59
is share what I have learned.
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μ œκ°€ 배운 것을 κ³΅μœ ν•˜λŠ” 것 λΏμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:03
When I talk to people who didn't know me before the shootings,
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총격 사건 이전에 λŠ” μ €λ₯Ό μ•Œμ§€ λͺ»ν–ˆλ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€κ³Ό
03:06
I have three challenges to meet.
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이야기할 λ•Œ μ„Έ 가지 μ–΄λ €μš΄ 점이 μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:09
First, when I walk into a room like this,
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첫 λ²ˆμ§ΈλŠ”, μ΄λŸ¬ν•œ κ³΅κ°„μœΌλ‘œ λ“€μ–΄μ˜¬ λ•Œ
03:13
I never know if someone there has experienced loss
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그곳에 제 아듀이 ν•œ 일 λ•Œλ¬Έμ—
03:16
because of what my son did.
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λˆ„κ΅°κ°€λ₯Ό μžƒμ€ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ μžˆλŠ”μ§€ μ•Œμ§€ λͺ»ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:19
I feel a need to acknowledge the suffering caused by a member of my family
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μ €λŠ” 이 μžλ¦¬μ—μ„œ 슀슀둜 ν•  수 μ—†λŠ”
03:24
who isn't here to do it for himself.
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제 가쑱을 λŒ€μ‹ ν•΄ κ·Έκ°€ μ΄ˆλž˜ν•œ 고톡을 인정할 ν•„μš”μ„±μ„ λŠκΌˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:26
So first, with all of my heart,
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μš°μ„ , 제 아듀이 μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„κ»˜
03:30
I'm sorry if my son has caused you pain.
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고톡을 μ•ˆκ²¨μ€¬λ‹€λ©΄ μ§„μ‹¬μœΌλ‘œ μ‚¬κ³Όλ“œλ¦¬κ³  μ‹ΆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:35
The second challenge I have
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두 번째 μ–΄λ €μš΄ 점은
03:37
is that I must ask for understanding and even compassion
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μ œκ°€ μ•„λ“€μ˜ μžμ‚΄μ— λŒ€ν•΄ 이야기할 λ•Œ
03:42
when I talk about my son's death as a suicide.
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ˜ 이해와 μ‹¬μ§€μ–΄λŠ” 연민을 κ΅¬ν•΄μ•Όν•œλ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:46
Two years before he died,
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아듀이 μ£½κΈ° 2λ…„ μ „
03:48
he wrote on a piece of paper in a notebook
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곡책 ν•œ 켠에 μžν•΄ν•œλ‹€λŠ” 글을 λ‚¨κ²ΌμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:50
that he was cutting himself.
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03:53
He said that he was in agony
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슀슀둜 고톡받고 있으며
03:54
and wanted to get a gun so he could end his life.
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총을 κ΅¬ν•΄μ„œ 생을 λ§ˆκ°ν•˜κ³  μ‹Άλ‹€κ³  글을 μΌμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:57
I didn't know about any of this until months after his death.
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μ €λŠ” 제 아듀이 μ£½κ³  ν•œ 달 λ’€κΉŒμ§€λ„ 이λ₯Ό μ•Œμ§€ λͺ»ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:02
When I talk about his death as a suicide,
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μ œκ°€ μžμ‚΄λ‘œ μ•„λ“€μ˜ μ£½μŒμ„ 말할 λ•Œ
04:05
I'm not trying to downplay the viciousness he showed at the end of his life.
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그의 μ‚Άμ˜ λ§ˆμ§€λ§‰μ— λ³΄μ˜€λ˜ μž”μΈν•¨μ„ μ€„μ΄κ³ μž ν•˜λŠ” 것은 μ•„λ‹™λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:10
I'm trying to understand
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μ €λŠ” μžμ‚΄μ— λŒ€ν•œ 그의 생각이
04:12
how his suicidal thinking
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μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ μ‚΄μΈμœΌλ‘œ μ΄μ–΄μ‘ŒλŠ”μ§€λ₯Ό μ΄ν•΄ν•˜λ €λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:14
led to murder.
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04:16
After a lot of reading and talking with experts,
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책을 많이읽고, 전문가와 μƒλ‹΄ν•œ 끝에
04:20
I have come to believe
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μ €λŠ” 제 아듀이 총격 사건에 μ—°λ£¨λœ 것이
04:21
that his involvement in the shootings was rooted not in his desire to kill
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남을 μ£½μ΄λ €λŠ” 것이 μ•„λ‹ˆλΌ 슀슀둜λ₯Ό μ£½μ΄λ €λŠ” 것에
04:27
but in his desire to die.
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κΈ°μΈν–ˆλ‹€κ³  κ²°λ‘  λ‚΄λ ΈμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:30
The third challenge I have when I talk about my son's murder-suicide
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제 μ•„λ“€μ˜ 살인과 μžμ‚΄μ— λŒ€ν•΄ 이야기할 λ•Œλ§ˆμ£Όν•˜λŠ” μ„Έ 번째 어렀움은
04:35
is that I'm talking about mental health --
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μ •μ‹  건강에 λŒ€ν•΄ μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:39
excuse me --
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μ£„μ†‘ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:40
is that I'm talking about mental health,
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μ •μ‹  건강, μ•„λ‹ˆλ©΄
04:43
or brain health, as I prefer to call it, because it's more concrete.
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μ €λŠ” 더 μ •ν™•ν•˜κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμ— λ‡Œ 건강이라고 λΆ€λ₯΄κ³  μ‹ΆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:47
And in the same breath, I'm talking about violence.
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그리고 λ™μ‹œμ—, 폭λ ₯에 λŒ€ν•΄ μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:51
The last thing I want to do is to contribute to the misunderstanding
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μ €λŠ” μ •μ‹  μ§ˆν™˜μ— λŒ€ν•΄ 이미 μ‘΄μž¬ν•˜λŠ” μ˜€ν•΄λ₯Ό 더 λ³΄νƒœλŠ” 일은
04:54
that already exists around mental illness.
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정말 ν•˜κ³  싢지 μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:58
Only a very small percent of those who have a mental illness
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μ •μ‹  μ§ˆν™˜μ„ μ•“κ³  μžˆλŠ” μ‚¬λžŒ 쀑
05:02
are violent toward other people,
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타인에 λŒ€ν•΄ 곡격적인 μ‚¬λžŒμ€ μ†Œμˆ˜μ— λΆˆκ³Όν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:06
but of those who die by suicide,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 슀슀둜 λͺ©μˆ¨μ„ λŠμ€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€ 쀑
05:09
it's estimated that about 75 to maybe more than 90 percent
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75% ν˜Ήμ€ 90% 이상이 μ •μ‹  μ§ˆν™˜μœΌλ‘œ
05:14
have a diagnosable mental health condition of some kind.
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진단될 수 μžˆλŠ” μƒνƒœλ‘œ μΆ”μ •λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:18
As you all know very well,
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λͺ¨λ‘ 잘 μ•„μ‹œλ‹€μ‹œν”Ό
05:19
our mental health care system is not equipped to help everyone,
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우리의 μ •μ‹  건강 치료 μ²΄κ³„λŠ” λͺ¨λ“  μ‚¬λžŒμ„ 도와쀄 수 μ—†μœΌλ©°
05:23
and not everyone with destructive thoughts
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곡격적인 생각을 μ§€λ‹Œ λͺ¨λ“  μ‚¬λžŒμ΄
05:26
fits the criteria
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νŠΉμ • μ§„λ‹¨μ˜ 기쀀을 λ§Œμ‘±ν•˜λŠ” 것은 μ•„λ‹™λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:28
for a specific diagnosis.
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05:31
Many who have ongoing feelings
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지속적인 곡포, λΆ„λ…Έ
05:33
of fear or anger or hopelessness
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λ˜λŠ” μ ˆλ§μ„ λŠλΌλŠ” λ§Žμ€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄
05:36
are never assessed or treated.
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진단을 λ°›κ±°λ‚˜ 치료λ₯Ό 받지 λͺ»ν•˜κ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:39
Too often, they get our attention only if they reach a behavioral crisis.
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그듀이 용인되기 νž˜λ“  행동을 ν•΄μ•Όλ§Œ κ·Έλ“€μ—κ²Œ μ‹ κ²½μ“°λŠ” κ²½μš°κ°€ λ§ŽμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:45
If estimates are correct
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λ§Œμ•½ μžμ‚΄ 쀑 1~2%κ°€ 살인을 λ™λ°˜ν•œλ‹€λŠ” 좔정이 λ§žλ‹€λ©΄
05:47
that about one to two percent of all suicides
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05:50
involves the murder of another person,
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05:53
when suicide rates rise, as they are rising for some populations,
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이미 νŠΉμ • κ³„μΈ΅μ—μ„œ μ¦κ°€ν•˜κ³  μžˆλ“―μ΄, μžμ‚΄λ₯ μ΄ μ¦κ°€ν•œλ‹€λ©΄
05:58
the murder-suicide rates will rise as well.
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살인을 λ™λ°˜ν•œ μžμ‚΄λ₯ λ„ 증가할 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:02
I wanted to understand what was going on in Dylan's mind prior to his death,
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μ €λŠ” λ”œλŸ°μ΄ μ£½κΈ° μ „ μ–΄λ–€ 생각을 ν–ˆλŠ” 지 μ•Œκ³  μ‹Άμ—ˆκ³ 
06:07
so I looked for answers from other survivors of suicide loss.
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ μžμ‚΄λ‘œ μΈν•œ 상싀을 κ²ͺ은 λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ²Œ 닡을 찾으렀 ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:13
I did research and volunteered to help with fund-raising events,
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μ €λŠ” 연ꡬ도 ν•˜κ³ , λͺ¨κΈˆ 행사에 μžμ›λ΄‰μ‚¬μžλ‘œ μ°Έμ—¬ν–ˆμœΌλ©°
06:18
and whenever I could,
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κ°€λŠ₯ν•  λ•Œλ§ˆλ‹€
06:19
I talked with those who had survived their own suicidal crisis
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μžμ‚΄ μœ„κΈ°λ‚˜ μ‹œλ„μ—μ„œ 살아남은 μ‚¬λžŒλ“€κ³Ό μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:24
or attempt.
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06:26
One of the most helpful conversations I had
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κ°€μž₯ 도움이 됐던 λŒ€ν™” 쀑 ν•˜λ‚˜λŠ”
06:28
was with a coworker
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μ œκ°€ λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒκ³Ό μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν•˜λŠ” 것을
06:30
who overheard me talking to someone else
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사무 곡간 λ„ˆλ¨Έλ‘œ 듀은
06:32
in my office cubicle.
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λ™λ£Œμ™€ λ‚˜λˆˆ λŒ€ν™”μ˜€μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:34
She heard me say that Dylan could not have loved me
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κ·Έλ…€λŠ” λ”œλŸ°μ΄ μ €λ₯Ό μ‚¬λž‘ν–ˆλ‹€λ©΄ 그런 λ”μ°ν•œ 일을 저지λ₯΄μ§„
06:38
if he could do something as horrible as he did.
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μ•Šμ•˜μ„ 것이라고 μ œκ°€ λ§ν•œ 것을 λ“€μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:41
Later, when she found me alone,
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이후에 μ œκ°€ 혼자 μžˆμ—ˆμ„ λ•Œ
06:44
she apologized for overhearing that conversation,
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κ·Έλ…€λŠ” λŒ€ν™”λ₯Ό μ—Ώλ“€μ–΄μ„œ λ―Έμ•ˆν•˜λ‹€λ©°
06:47
but told me that I was wrong.
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μ œκ°€ ν‹€λ Έλ‹€κ³  λ§ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:49
She said that when she was a young, single mother
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κ·Έλ…€λŠ” 아이가 μ…‹ λ”Έλ¦° μ–΄λ¦° μ‹±κΈ€λ§˜μ΄μ—ˆμ„ λ•Œ
06:52
with three small children,
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μ‹¬κ°ν•œ μš°μšΈμ¦μ„ κ²ͺμ—ˆκ³ 
06:54
she became severely depressed and was hospitalized to keep her safe.
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슀슀둜의 μ•ˆμ „μ„ μœ„ν•΄ μž…μ›ν–ˆλ‹€κ³  λ§ν•΄μ€¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:59
At the time, she was certain
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κ·Έ λ‹Ήμ‹œ 제 λ™λ£ŒλŠ” μžμ‹ μ΄ 사라지면
07:02
that her children would be better off if she died,
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아이듀이 더 ν–‰λ³΅ν•΄μ§ˆ 것이라고 ν™•μ‹ ν–ˆκ³ 
07:05
so she had made a plan to end her life.
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생을 λ§ˆκ°ν•  κ³„νšκΉŒμ§€ μ„Έμ› λ‹€κ³  ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:08
She assured me that a mother's love was the strongest bond on Earth,
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κ·Έλ…€λŠ” μ–΄λ¨Έλ‹ˆμ˜ μ‚¬λž‘μ΄μ•Όλ§λ‘œ μ„Έμƒμ—μ„œ κ°€μž₯ κ°•λ ₯ν•œ 힘이며
07:12
and that she loved her children more than anything in the world,
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μžμ‹ μ˜ 아이듀을 μ„Έμƒμ—μ„œ 제일 μ‚¬λž‘ν•œλ‹€κ³  ν–ˆμ§€λ§Œ
07:16
but because of her illness,
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마음의 병 λ•Œλ¬Έμ—
07:18
she was sure that they would be better off without her.
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μžμ‹ μ΄ μ—†μ–΄μ•Ό 아이듀이 더 행볡할 것이라고 μƒκ°ν–ˆμ—ˆμ£ .
07:23
What she said and what I've learned from others
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제 λ™λ£Œμ˜ λ§μ΄λ‚˜ μ œκ°€ λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ²Œμ„œ 배운 것은
07:25
is that we do not make the so-called decision or choice
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μ†Œμœ„ μžμ‚΄μ„ '선택'ν•˜λŠ” 것은
07:30
to die by suicide
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ μžλ™μ°¨λ₯Ό '선택'ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμ΄λ‚˜
07:32
in the same way that we choose what car to drive
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ν† μš”μΌ 밀에 μ–΄λ””λ‘œ 갈 지 '선택'ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒκ³ΌλŠ”
07:35
or where to go on a Saturday night.
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λ‹€λ₯΄λ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:38
When someone is in an extremely suicidal state,
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μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ κ·Ήλ„λ‘œ μžμ‚΄ν•  μƒνƒœμ— λ†“μ—¬μžˆλ‹€λŠ” 것은
07:41
they are in a stage four medical health emergency.
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그듀은 4κΈ° μ •μ‹  건강 응급 μƒνƒœμ— μžˆλ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:46
Their thinking is impaired and they've lost access to tools of self-governance.
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κ·Έλ“€μ˜ μ‚¬κ³ λŠ” 정상적이지 λͺ»ν•˜κ³ , 슀슀둜λ₯Ό ν†΅μ œν•  νž˜μ„ μžƒμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:52
Even though they can make a plan and act with logic,
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그듀이 κ³„νšμ„ μ„Έμš°κ³  λ…Όλ¦¬μ μœΌλ‘œ 행동할 μˆ˜λŠ” μžˆκ² μ§€λ§Œ
07:55
their sense of truth is distorted by a filter of pain
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κ³ ν†΅μ΄λΌλŠ” ν•„ν„°λ₯Ό 톡해 사싀을 ν•΄μ„ν•˜λ©΄μ„œ
07:59
through which they interpret their reality.
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ν˜„μ‹€μ„ μ§μ‹œν•˜λŠ” λŠ₯λ ₯은 μ™œκ³‘λ˜μ–΄ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:02
Some people can be very good at hiding this state,
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μ–΄λ–€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ 슀슀둜의 μƒνƒœλ₯Ό ꡉμž₯히 잘 숨기고,
08:06
and they often have good reasons for doing that.
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그런 행동을 ν•  ν•©λ‹Ήν•œ μ΄μœ κ°€ μžˆλŠ” κ²½μš°λ„ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:10
Many of us have suicidal thoughts at some point,
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λ§Žμ€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ μžμ‚΄μ„ μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ” κ²½μš°κ°€ 있긴 ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€λ§Œ
08:13
but persistent, ongoing thoughts of suicide
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지속적이고, 계속적인 생각과
08:17
and devising a means to die
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μ£½λŠ” 방법을 λͺ¨μƒ‰ν•˜λŠ” 것은 병리학적 증상이며
08:19
are symptoms of pathology,
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08:21
and like many illnesses,
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λ§Žμ€ μ§ˆλ³‘μ²˜λŸΌ μ΄λŸ¬ν•œ 상황 λ˜ν•œ
08:23
the condition has to be recognized and treated
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ν•œ 생λͺ…이 λλ‚˜κΈ° 전에 μΈμ§€λ˜κ³ 
08:27
before a life is lost.
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μΉ˜λ£Œλ˜μ–΄μ•Όλ§Œ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:30
But my son's death was not purely a suicide.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 제 μ•„λ“€μ˜ μ£½μŒμ€ 단지 μžμ‚΄λ§Œμ€ μ•„λ‹ˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:34
It involved mass murder.
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μˆ˜λ§Žμ€ μ‚¬λžŒλ„ μ‚΄ν•΄λ˜μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:36
I wanted to know how his suicidal thinking became homicidal.
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μ €λŠ” 그의 μžμ‚΄ 좩동이 살인 μΆ©λ™μœΌλ‘œ μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ λ°”λ€Œμ—ˆλŠ”μ§€ μ•Œκ³ μž ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:43
But research is sparse and there are no simple answers.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 연ꡬ μžλ£ŒλŠ” μ μ—ˆκ³ , κ°„λ‹¨ν•œ 정닡은 μ‘΄μž¬ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:48
Yes, he probably had ongoing depression.
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λ„€, 제 아듀이 지속적인 μš°μšΈμ¦μ„ κ²ͺκ³  μžˆμ—ˆμ„ κ²λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:52
He had a personality that was perfectionistic and self-reliant,
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μ™„λ²½μ£Όμ˜μžμ μ΄κ³ , 슀슀둜 μ˜μ§€ν•˜λŠ” 성격도 μžˆμ—ˆκ³ 
08:58
and that made him less likely to seek help from others.
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덕뢄에 λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ²Œ 쑰언을 κ΅¬ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜μ„ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:03
He had experienced triggering events at the school
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κ·ΈλŠ” ν•™κ΅μ—μ„œ λ°©μ•„μ‡  역할을 ν•˜λŠ” λͺ‡λͺ‡ 사건듀을 κ²ͺμ—ˆκ³ 
09:07
that left him feeling debased and humiliated and mad.
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그것듀은 제 μ•„λ“€μ˜ μžμ‘΄κ°μ„ λ–¨μ–΄λœ¨λ¦¬κ³  λͺ¨μš•κ°κ³Ό λΆ„λ…Έλ₯Ό 느끼게 ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:13
And he had a complicated friendship
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κ·ΈλŠ” 뢄노와 고립감을 κ³΅μœ ν–ˆλ˜ ν•œ μΉœκ΅¬μ™€
09:17
with a boy who shared his feelings of rage and alienation,
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λ³΅μž‘ν•œ μΉœκ΅¬κ΄€κ³„λ₯Ό ν˜•μ„±ν–ˆλŠ”λ°
09:21
and who was seriously disturbed,
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κ·Έ μΉœκ΅¬λŠ” 자제λ ₯κ³Ό 살인 μΆ©λ™μ˜ μ œμ–΄μ™€ κ΄€λ ¨λœ
09:24
controlling and homicidal.
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μ‹¬κ°ν•œ λ¬Έμ œκ°€ μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:28
And on top of this period in his life
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그리고 ꡉμž₯히 μƒμ²˜λ°›κΈ° 쉽고
09:30
of extreme vulnerability and fragility,
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μ—¬λ Έλ˜ 이 μ‹œκΈ°μ—
09:35
Dylan found access to guns
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λ”œλŸ°μ€ 집에 듀인 적도 μ—†λ˜ 총을
09:37
even though we'd never owned any in our home.
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ꡬ할 방법을 μ°Ύμ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:40
It was appallingly easy for a 17-year-old boy to buy guns,
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ν•©λ²•μ μœΌλ‘œκ±΄, λΆˆλ²•μ μœΌλ‘œκ±΄ 17μ‚΄ 아이가 제 ν—ˆλ½μ΄λ‚˜ 인지없이
09:45
both legally and illegally, without my permission or knowledge.
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μ΄μ„κ΅¬ν•˜λŠ” 것은 ν™”κ°€λ‚  μ •λ„λ‘œ μ‰¬μ› μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:51
And somehow, 17 years and many school shootings later,
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그리고 17년이 지났고, λ§Žμ€ 총격 사건이 μžˆμ—ˆμ§€λ§Œ
09:56
it's still appallingly easy.
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μ—¬μ „νžˆ ꡉμž₯히 μ‰½μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:00
What Dylan did that day broke my heart,
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λ”œλŸ°μ΄ κ·Έλ‚  저지λ₯Έ 일은 제 κ°€μŠ΄μ„ μ°’μ–΄μ§€κ²Œ λ§Œλ“€μ—ˆκ³ 
10:05
and as trauma so often does,
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νŠΈλΌμš°λ§ˆκ°€ κ·ΈλŸ¬ν•˜λ“―
10:06
it took a toll on my body and on my mind.
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제 λͺΈκ³Ό λ§ˆμŒμ— 큰 짐을 μ§€μ› μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:11
Two years after the shootings, I got breast cancer,
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총격 사건 이후 μ €λŠ” μœ λ°©μ•”μ΄ 생겼고
10:15
and two years after that, I began to have mental health problems.
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또 2년이 μ§€λ‚˜μ„œλŠ” μ •μ‹  μ§ˆν™˜μ„ μ•“κΈ° μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:20
On top of the constant, perpetual grief
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지속적이고 λμ—†λŠ” μŠ¬ν”” 외에도
10:23
I was terrified that I would run into a family member
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μ €λŠ” λ”œλŸ°μ΄ 죽인 μ‚¬λžŒμ˜ 가쑱을 λ§Œλ‚˜κ±°λ‚˜
10:27
of someone Dylan had killed,
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κΈ°μžλ‚˜ λΆ„λ…Έν•œ μ‹œλ―Όλ“€μ—κ²Œ
10:29
or be accosted by the press
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λ‘˜λŸ¬μ‹Έμ΄μ§€λ‚˜ μ•Šμ„κΉŒ 곡포에 λΉ μ‘ŒμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:31
or by an angry citizen.
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10:34
I was afraid to turn on the news,
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μ €λŠ” λ‰΄μŠ€μ— λ‚˜μ˜¬κΉŒ 두렀웠고
10:37
afraid to hear myself being called a terrible parent or a disgusting person.
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λ”μ°ν•œ λΆ€λͺ¨λ‚˜, μ—­κ²¨μš΄ μ‚¬λžŒμœΌλ‘œ 뢈릴까 λ¬΄μ„œμ› μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:45
I started having panic attacks.
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μ €λŠ” 곡황 μž₯애에 빠지기 μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:49
The first bout started four years after the shootings,
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첫 λ°œμž‘μ€ 총격 사건 이후 4년이 μ§€λ‚˜μ„œ
10:53
when I was getting ready for the depositions
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μ œκ°€ μ¦μ–Έν•˜λŸ¬ 법정에 갈 μ€€λΉ„λ₯Ό ν•˜λ©΄μ„œ
10:55
and would have to meet the victims' families face to face.
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ν¬μƒμžμ˜ 가쑱을 λ§Œλ‚˜μ•Ό ν–ˆμ„ λ•Œ λ²Œμ–΄μ‘ŒμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:59
The second round started six years after the shootings,
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두 번째 λ°œμž‘μ€ 사건 6λ…„ ν›„
11:02
when I was preparing to speak publicly about murder-suicide
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μ»¨νΌλŸ°μŠ€μ—μ„œ 살인 ν›„ μžμ‚΄μ— λŒ€ν•œ
11:06
for the first time at a conference.
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연섀을 μ€€λΉ„ ν•˜λ‹€κ°€ μΌμ–΄λ‚¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:09
Both episodes lasted several weeks.
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두 경우 λͺ¨λ‘ λͺ‡ μ£Όκ°„ μ§€μ†λ˜μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:13
The attacks happened everywhere:
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λ°œμž‘μ€ μž₯μ†Œλ₯Ό 가리지 μ•Šκ³  μΌμ–΄λ‚¬λŠ”λ°
11:16
in the hardware store, in my office,
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λŒ€ν˜• μ² λ¬Όμ μ΄λ‚˜, 제 사무싀
11:19
or even while reading a book in bed.
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심지어 μΉ¨λŒ€μ—μ„œ 책을 읽닀가도 λ‚˜νƒ€λ‚¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:22
My mind would suddenly lock into this spinning cycle of terror
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제 정신은 κ°‘μžκΈ° μ €λ₯Ό 곡포의 κ΅΄λ ˆμ— λ°€μ–΄λ„£μ—ˆκ³ 
11:27
and no matter how I hard I tried
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μ œκ°€ 아무리 슀슀둜λ₯Ό μ§„μ •μ‹œν‚€κ±°λ‚˜
11:29
to calm myself down or reason my way out of it,
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논리적인 μƒκ°μœΌλ‘œ κ·Ήλ³΅ν•˜λ €κ³  λ…Έλ ₯해도
11:33
I couldn't do it.
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κ·Έλ ‡κ²Œ ν•  수 μ—†μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:36
It felt as if my brain was trying to kill me,
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마치 제 λ‡Œκ°€ μ €λ₯Ό 죽이렀 λ“œλŠ” 것 κ°™μ•˜κ³ 
11:39
and then, being afraid of being afraid
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λ¬΄μ„œμ›Œν•˜λŠ” 것에 λŒ€ν•œ κ³΅ν¬λŠ”
11:42
consumed all of my thoughts.
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제 생각을 μ§€λ°°ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:45
That's when I learned firsthand
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κ·Έ λ•Œκ°€ λ°”λ‘œ μ œκ°€
11:46
what it feels like to have a malfunctioning mind,
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정신이 μ˜€μž‘λ™ν•  λ•Œμ˜ 기뢄이 어떀지λ₯Ό 직접 느끼게 된 λ•Œμ΄λ©°
11:50
and that's when I truly became a brain health advocate.
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μ œκ°€ μ§„μ •μœΌλ‘œ λ‡Œ 건강을 μ˜Ήν˜Έν•˜κ²Œ 된 λ•Œμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:55
With therapy and medication and self-care,
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μ•½λ¬Όκ³Ό μ‹¬λ¦¬μΉ˜λ£Œ, 그리고 슀슀둜λ₯Ό λŒλ΄„μœΌλ‘œμ¨
11:58
life eventually returned
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제 삢은 λ§ˆμΉ¨λ‚΄
12:00
to whatever could be thought of as normal under the circumstances.
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정상적이라고 말할 수 μžˆλŠ” λ‹¨κ³„λ‘œ λŒμ•„μ™”μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:05
When I looked back on all that had happened,
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κ·Έ λͺ¨λ“  상황을 돌이켜보면
12:07
I could see that my son's spiral into dysfunction
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μ €λŠ” 제 아듀이 μ •μ‹  μž₯μ• λ₯Ό κ²ͺ은 것이
12:11
probably occurred over a period of about two years,
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2λ…„ 정도에 κ±Έμ³μ„œ μΌμ–΄λ‚¬λ˜ 것 같은데
12:15
plenty of time to get him help,
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제 아듀이 도움이 ν•„μš”ν•˜λ‹€λŠ” 사싀과
12:18
if only someone had known that he needed help
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μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ λ„μšΈ 수 μžˆλŠ”μ§€λ§Œ μ•Œμ•˜λ”λΌλ©΄
12:21
and known what to do.
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도움을 쀄 수 μžˆλŠ” μΆ©λΆ„ν•œ μ‹œκ°„μ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
12:27
Every time someone asks me,
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"μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ κ·Έκ±Έ λͺ°λžμ„ μˆ˜κ°€ 있죠?"
12:30
"How could you not have known?",
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λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ 물을 λ•Œλ§ˆλ‹€
12:32
it feels like a punch in the gut.
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μ €λŠ” λͺ…μΉ˜λ₯Ό μ„Έκ²Œ ν•œ λŒ€ λ§žμ€ 것 κ°™μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:35
It carries accusation and taps into my feelings of guilt
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κ·Έ μ§ˆλ¬Έμ€ μΆ”κΆν•˜λ €λŠ” μ˜λ„λ₯Ό λ‹΄μ•˜μœΌλ©°
12:40
that no matter how much therapy I've had
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μ œκ°€ 아무리 λ§Žμ€ μ‹¬λ¦¬μΉ˜λ£Œλ₯Ό 받더라도
12:42
I will never fully eradicate.
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μ™„μ „νžˆ 떨쳐낼 수 μ—†λŠ” 죄책감에 μ‹œλ‹¬λ¦¬κ²Œ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:45
But here's something I've learned:
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ œκ°€ 배운 것은
12:48
if love were enough
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λ§Œμ•½ μ‚¬λž‘λ§ŒμœΌλ‘œ
12:50
to stop someone who is suicidal
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μžμ‚΄μ„ μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμ„ 막을 수 μžˆμ—ˆλ‹€λ©΄
12:52
from hurting themselves,
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12:54
suicides would hardly ever happen.
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μžμ‚΄μ€ μΌμ–΄λ‚˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜μ„ κ²λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:58
But love is not enough,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ‚¬λž‘λ§ŒμœΌλ‘œλŠ” μΆ©λΆ„ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šκ³ 
13:01
and suicide is prevalent.
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μžμ‚΄μ€ κ³³κ³³μ—μ„œ μΌμ–΄λ‚˜κ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:03
It's the second leading cause of death
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10μ„Έμ—μ„œ 34μ„Έ μ‚¬μ΄μ˜ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ˜ 사망 μš”μΈ 쀑
13:06
for people age 10 to 34,
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μžμ‚΄μ€ 2μœ„μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:09
and 15 percent of American youth
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미ꡭ의 μ²­μ†Œλ…„ 쀑 15%λŠ”
13:12
report having made a suicide plan
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μ‚¬λ§ν•˜λŠ” 해에 μžμ‚΄ κ³„νšμ„ μ„Έμ› λ˜ κ²ƒμœΌλ‘œ μ•Œλ €μ Έ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:14
in the last year.
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13:17
I've learned that no matter how much we want to believe we can,
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아무리 μš°λ¦¬κ°€ ν•  수 μžˆλ‹€κ³  믿어도
13:22
we cannot know or control
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ 느끼고 μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ”
13:25
everything our loved ones think and feel,
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λͺ¨λ“  것을 μ•Œκ±°λ‚˜ ν†΅μ œν•  수 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:28
and the stubborn belief that we are somehow different,
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그리고 남듀과 달리 μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜λŠ” 이듀은
13:32
that someone we love would never think of hurting themselves
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μ ˆλŒ€ μžμ‹  λ˜λŠ” 타인을 λ‹€μΉ˜κ²Œ ν•˜λ €λŠ”
13:35
or someone else,
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생각을 ν•˜μ§€ μ•ŠλŠ”λ‹€λŠ” μ™„κ°•ν•œ 믿음이
13:37
can cause us to miss
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λˆˆμ— λ»”νžˆ λ³΄μ΄λŠ” 것듀을 λ†“μΉ˜κ²Œ ν•  수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:39
what's hidden in plain sight.
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13:43
And if worst case scenarios do come to pass,
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그리고 λ§Œμ•½ μ΅œμ•…μ˜ 상황이 μΌμ–΄λ‚œλ‹€λ©΄,
13:48
we'll have to learn to forgive ourselves for not knowing
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” κ·Έ 사싀을 λͺ°λžκ±°λ‚˜ ν–ˆμ–΄μ•Ό ν•  μ§ˆλ¬Έλ“€μ„ ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜κ±°λ‚˜
13:52
or for not asking the right questions
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μ˜¬λ°”λ₯Έ μΉ˜λ£Œλ²•μ„ 찾지 λͺ»ν–ˆλ‹€κ³  해도
13:54
or not finding the right treatment.
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μžμ‹ μ„ μš©μ„œν•˜λŠ” 방법을 λ°°μ›Œμ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:59
We should always assume
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” 항상 μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄
14:00
that someone we love may be suffering,
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뭐라고 ν•˜κ±΄, μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ ν–‰λ™ν•˜κ±΄
14:03
regardless of what they say
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νž˜λ“  일을 κ²ͺκ³  μžˆμ„ 지도 λͺ¨λ₯Έλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•΄μ•Όλ§Œ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:06
or how they act.
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14:08
We should listen with our whole being,
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” 평가λ₯Ό ν•˜κ±°λ‚˜
14:11
without judgments,
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해결책을 μ œμ•ˆν•˜μ§€ μ•Šκ³ 
14:13
and without offering solutions.
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λͺ¨λ“  것을 κ·€λ‹΄μ•„λ“€μ–΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:19
I know that I will live with this tragedy,
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μ €λŠ” μ œκ°€ 이 λΉ„κ·Ήκ³Ό
14:22
with these multiple tragedies,
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이 λΉ„κ·Ήλ“€κ³Ό
14:24
for the rest of my life.
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평생을 μ‚΄μ•„κ°ˆ 것을 μ••λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:27
I know that in the minds of many,
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μ €λŠ” λ§Žμ€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ²Œ
14:32
what I lost can't compare to what the other families lost.
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그듀이 μžƒμ€ 것과 μ œκ°€ μžƒμ€ 것은 비ꡐ도 λ˜μ§€ μ•ŠμŒμ„ μ••λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:38
I know my struggle doesn't make theirs any easier.
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저도 μ €μ˜ λ…Έλ ₯이 κ·Έλ“€μ˜ 고톡을 μ™„ν™”μ‹œν‚€μ§€ μ•ŠλŠ”λ‹€λŠ” 것을 μ••λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:42
I know there are even some who think I don't have the right to any pain,
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μ–΄λ–€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ μ œκ°€ μ•„νŒŒν•  자격이 μ—†κ³ 
14:48
but only to a life of permanent penance.
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평생을 μ£„μΈμ²˜λŸΌ μ‚΄μ•„κ°€μ•Ό ν•œλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•œλ‹€λŠ” 것도 μ••λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:53
In the end what I know comes down to this:
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μ œκ°€ μ•Œκ²Œ 된 것은 κ²°κ΅­ μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ κ²°λ‘ μ§€μ–΄μ§‘λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:57
the tragic fact is that even the most vigilant and responsible of us
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μŠ¬ν”ˆ 사싀은 아무리 μ±…μž„κ°κ³Ό 경계심이 λ§Žμ€ μ‚¬λžŒμ΄λΌλ„
15:03
may not be able to help,
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도움을 주지 λͺ»ν•  수 μžˆλ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:06
but for love's sake,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ, μ‚¬λž‘μ„ μœ„ν•΄μ„œ
15:08
we must never stop trying
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μ•Œ 수 μ—†λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμ„ μ•ŒκΈ° μœ„ν•œ λ…Έλ ₯을 λ©ˆμΆ°μ„œλŠ” μ•ˆλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:11
to know the unknowable.
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15:13
Thank you.
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κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:14
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
이 μ›Ήμ‚¬μ΄νŠΈ 정보

이 μ‚¬μ΄νŠΈλŠ” μ˜μ–΄ ν•™μŠ΅μ— μœ μš©ν•œ YouTube λ™μ˜μƒμ„ μ†Œκ°œν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ „ 세계 졜고의 μ„ μƒλ‹˜λ“€μ΄ κ°€λ₯΄μΉ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μˆ˜μ—…μ„ 보게 될 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€. 각 λ™μ˜μƒ νŽ˜μ΄μ§€μ— ν‘œμ‹œλ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μžλ§‰μ„ 더블 ν΄λ¦­ν•˜λ©΄ κ·Έκ³³μ—μ„œ λ™μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. λΉ„λ””μ˜€ μž¬μƒμ— 맞좰 μžλ§‰μ΄ μŠ€ν¬λ‘€λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ˜κ²¬μ΄λ‚˜ μš”μ²­μ΄ μžˆλŠ” 경우 이 문의 양식을 μ‚¬μš©ν•˜μ—¬ λ¬Έμ˜ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.

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