Why I'm done trying to be "man enough" | Justin Baldoni

3,598,816 views ใƒป 2018-01-03

TED


ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุฃุฏู†ุงู‡ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ.

ุงู„ู…ุชุฑุฌู…: Nawal Sharabati ุงู„ู…ุฏู‚ู‘ู‚: Ines Azabou
00:12
As an actor, I get scripts
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ูƒู…ู…ุซู„ุŒ ุฃุญุตู„ู ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ู†ุตูˆุต ุงู„ู…ูƒุชูˆุจุฉ
00:15
and it's my job to stay on script,
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ูˆุนู…ู„ูŠ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู† ุฃู„ุชุฒู… ุจุงู„ู†ุต ุงู„ู…ูƒุชูˆุจุŒ
00:18
to say my lines
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ู„ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ู†ุต ุงู„ู…ุทู„ูˆุจ ู…ู†ูŠ
00:19
and bring to life a character that someone else wrote.
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ูˆู„ุฃุฎุฑุฌ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ุดุฎุตูŠุฉ ูƒุชุจู‡ุง ุดุฎุต ุขุฎุฑ.
00:23
Over the course of my career,
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ุทูŠู„ุฉ ุนู…ู„ูŠุŒ
00:25
I've had the great honor
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ูƒุงู† ู„ูŠ ุงู„ุดุฑู ุงู„ูƒุจูŠุฑ
00:27
playing some of the greatest male role models ever
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ู„ุฃู„ุนุจ ุจุนุถ ุฃุนุธู… ู†ู…ุงุฐุฌ ุฃุฏูˆุงุฑ ุงู„ุฐูƒูˆุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฅุทู„ุงู‚
00:31
represented on television.
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู… ุชู‚ุฏูŠู…ู‡ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุดุงุดุฉ ุงู„ุชู„ูุงุฒ.
00:33
You might recognize me as "Male Escort #1."
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ู‚ุฏ ุชุชุนุฑููˆู† ุนู„ูŠ "ู…ุฑุงูู‚ ุงู„ุฐูƒูˆุฑ ุฑู‚ู… 1."
00:36
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
00:38
"Photographer Date Rapist,"
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"ุงู„ู…ุตูˆู‘ุฑ ู…ุบุชุตุจ ู…ู† ูŠูˆุงุนุฏู‡ู†ุŒ"
00:42
"Shirtless Date Rapist"
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"ุนุงุฑูŠ ุงู„ุตุฏุฑ ู…ุบุชุตุจ ู…ู† ูŠูˆุงุนุฏู‡ู†"
00:43
from the award-winning "Spring Break Shark Attack."
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ู…ู† ุงู„ููŠู„ู… ุงู„ุญุงุฆุฒ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฌูˆุงุฆุฒ "ู…ู‡ุงุฌู…ุฉ ุณู…ูƒ ุงู„ู‚ุฑุด ููŠ ุงู„ุนุทู„ุฉ ุงู„ุฑุจูŠุนูŠุฉ."
00:46
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
00:48
"Shirtless Medical Student,"
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ุฅู„ู‰ "ุชู„ู…ูŠุฐ ุงู„ุทุจ ุนุงุฑูŠ ุงู„ุตุฏุฑ"
00:49
"Shirtless Steroid-Using Con Man"
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ุฅู„ู‰ "ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ุงู„ู…ุญุชุงู„ ู…ุชุนุงุทูŠ ุงู„ู…ู†ุดุทุงุช ูˆุนุงุฑูŠ ุงู„ุตุฏุฑ"
00:51
and, in my most well-known role, as Rafael.
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ูˆููŠ ุฏูˆุฑูŠ ุงู„ู…ุดู‡ูˆุฑ ูƒุฑุงูุฆูŠู„.
00:55
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
00:58
A brooding, reformed playboy
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ูˆู„ุฏ ู…ุณุชู‡ุชุฑ ูƒุฆูŠุจ
01:01
who falls for, of all things, a virgin,
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ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠู‚ุนู ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ุŒ ูˆู…ู† ุจูŠู† ูƒู„ ุดูŠุกุŒ ุนุฐุฑุงุก
01:04
and who is only occasionally shirtless.
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ูˆุนุงุฑูŠ ุงู„ุตุฏุฑ ููŠ ู…ุนุธู… ุงู„ู…ู†ุงุณุจุงุช.
01:06
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
01:08
Now, these roles don't represent the kind of man I am in my real life,
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ู„ุง ุชู…ุซู„ู ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุฃุฏูˆุงุฑ ู†ูˆุน ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฃู†ุง ุนู„ูŠู‡ ููŠ ุญู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ ุญูŠุงุชูŠุŒ
01:12
but that's what I love about acting.
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ู„ูƒู† ู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ู…ุง ุฃุญุจู‡ ุญูŠุงู„ ุงู„ุชู…ุซูŠู„.
01:14
I get to live inside characters very different than myself.
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ูŠู†ุจุบูŠ ุนู„ูŠู‘ ุฃู† ุฃุนูŠุด ุฏุงุฎู„ ุงู„ุดุฎุตูŠุงุช ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉ ุนู† ุดุฎุตูŠุชูŠ.
01:18
But every time I got one of these roles, I was surprised,
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ูˆููŠ ูƒู„ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุญุตู„ู ููŠู‡ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุฃุฏูˆุงุฑุŒ ุฃุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุฏู‡ุดุฉุŒ
01:22
because most of the men I play ooze machismo,
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ู„ุฃู† ู…ุนุธู… ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุฃู„ุนุจ ุฃุฏูˆุงุฑู‡ู… ุซู…ุซู„ู ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ุงู„ุนุฏูˆุงู†ูŠ ุงู„ูุธุŒ
01:25
charisma and power,
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ุดุฎุตูŠุฉ ุฌุฐุงุจุฉ ูˆู†ููˆุฐุŒ
01:27
and when I look in the mirror, that's just not how I see myself.
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ูˆุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุฃู†ุธุฑู ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุฑุขุฉุŒ ู„ูŠุณ ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุง ุฃุฑุงู‡ ููŠ ุดุฎุตูŠุชูŠ.
01:30
But it was how Hollywood saw me,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู‡ูƒุฐุง ุฑุฃุชู†ูŠ ู‡ูˆู„ูŠูˆูˆุฏุŒ
01:32
and over time, I noticed a parallel
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ูˆู…ุน ู…ุฑูˆุฑ ุงู„ุฒู…ู†ุŒ ู„ุงุญุธุชู ุงู„ู…ูˆุงุฒู†ุฉ
01:34
between the roles I would play as a man
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ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุฃุฏูˆุงุฑ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃุฑุบุจู ููŠ ุชุฃุฏูŠุชู‡ุง ูƒุฑุฌู„
01:36
both on-screen and off.
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ุณูˆุงุก ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุดุงุดุฉ ูˆุฎุงุฑุฌู‡ุง.
01:41
I've been pretending to be a man that I'm not my entire life.
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ุชุธุงู‡ุฑุชู ู„ุฃูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ู„ู… ุฃูƒู† ุทูŠู„ุฉ ุญูŠุงุชูŠ.
01:45
I've been pretending to be strong when I felt weak,
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ุชุธุงู‡ุฑุชู ู„ุฃูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ุงู„ู‚ูˆูŠ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุดุนุฑุชู ุจุงู„ุถุนูุŒ
01:49
confident when I felt insecure
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ุจุงู„ุซู‚ุฉ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุดุนุฑุชู ุจุนุฏู… ุงู„ุฃู…ุงู†
01:53
and tough when really I was hurting.
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ูˆุจุงู„ู‚ุณูˆุฉ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒู†ุชู ุฃุชุฃู„ู… ููŠ ุงู„ุญู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ.
01:56
I think for the most part I've just been kind of putting on a show,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏู ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ูƒู†ุชู ููŠ ู…ุนุธู… ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ุฃุชุธุงู‡ุฑู ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ ุงู„ุนุฑุถ ูู‚ุทุŒ
02:00
but I'm tired of performing.
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุชุนุจุชู ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุฏุงุก.
02:03
And I can tell you right now
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ูˆุฃุณุชุทูŠุนู ุฃู† ุฃุฎุจุฑูƒู… ุงู„ุขู†
02:05
that it is exhausting trying to be man enough for everyone all the time.
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ุจุฃู†ู‡ ู…ุชุนุจ ุฃู† ุชุญุงูˆู„ ู„ุชูƒูˆู† ุฑุฌู„ู‹ุง ุจู…ุง ูŠูƒููŠ ู„ู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ูƒู„ ุงู„ุฃูˆู‚ุงุช.
02:12
Now -- right?
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ุตุญูŠุญู‹ุงุŸ
02:13
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
02:16
My brother heard that.
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ุณู…ุน ุดู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ ู‡ุฐุง.
02:18
Now, for as long as I can remember, I've been told
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ุญุณุจ ู…ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุชุฐูƒุฑู‡ุŒ ุชู… ุฅุฎุจุงุฑูŠ
02:20
the kind of man that I should grow up to be.
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ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู†ุจุบูŠ ุฃู† ุฃูƒุจุฑ ู„ุฃูƒูˆู† ุฑุฌู„ู‹ุง.
02:23
As a boy, all I wanted was to be accepted and liked by the other boys,
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ูƒุงู† ูƒู„ ู…ุง ุฃุฑุฏุชู‡ ูƒุบู„ุงู… ุฃู† ุฃูƒูˆู† ู…ู‚ุจูˆู„ู‹ุง ูˆู…ุญุจูˆุจู‹ุง ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ุงุฏ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†ุŒ
02:28
but that acceptance meant I had to acquire
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ู„ูƒู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู‚ุจูˆู„ ูƒุงู† ูŠุนู†ูŠ ุงูƒุชุณุงุจ
02:30
this almost disgusted view of the feminine,
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ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู†ุธุฑุฉ ุงู„ู…ุซูŠุฑุฉ ู„ู„ุงุดู…ุฆุฒุงุฒ ุนู† ุงู„ุฃู†ูˆุซุฉุŒ
02:32
and since we were told that feminine is the opposite of masculine,
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ูˆุชู… ุฅุฎุจุงุฑู†ุง ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู†ูˆุซุฉ ู‡ูŠ ุนูƒุณ ุงู„ุฑุฌูˆู„ุฉุŒ
02:35
I either had to reject embodying any of these qualities
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ูˆูƒุงู† ุนู„ูŠู‘ ุฅู…ุง ุฑูุถ ุชุฌุณูŠุฏ ุฃูŠ ู…ู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุตูุงุช
02:38
or face rejection myself.
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ุฃูˆ ุฃู† ุฃูˆุงุฌู‡ ุงู„ุฑูุถ ุจู†ูุณูŠ.
02:41
This is the script that we've been given.
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ู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ู†ุต ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชู… ุชุนู„ูŠู…ู‡ ู„ู†ุง.
02:44
Right? Girls are weak, and boys are strong.
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ุฃู„ูŠุณ ุตุญูŠุญู‹ุงุŸ ุงู„ูุชูŠุงุช ุถุนูŠูุงุชุŒ ูˆุงู„ุฃูˆู„ุงุฏ ุฃู‚ูˆูŠุงุก.
02:48
This is what's being subconsciously communicated
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ู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ู…ุง ุชู… ุชูˆุตูŠู„ู‡ ู„ุง ุดุนูˆุฑูŠู‹ุง
02:50
to hundreds of millions of young boys and girls all over the world,
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ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ุฆุงุช ุงู„ู…ู„ุงูŠูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ุงุฏ ูˆุงู„ูุชูŠุงุช ุตุบุงุฑ ุงู„ุณู† ููŠ ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู†ุญุงุก ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…ุŒ
02:54
just like it was with me.
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ูƒู…ุง ูƒุงู† ู…ุนูŠ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง.
02:56
Well, I came here today to say, as a man
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุงุŒ ุญุถุฑุชู ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู„ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ูƒุฑุฌู„
03:01
that this is wrong, this is toxic,
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ุจุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุฎุงุทุฆุŒ ูˆุฐูˆ ุชุฃุซูŠุฑ ุณูŠุก ุฌุฏู‹ุงุŒ
03:04
and it has to end.
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ูˆูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ูŠู†ุชู‡ูŠ.
03:06
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
03:12
Now, I'm not here to give a history lesson.
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ู„ุณุชู ู‡ู†ุง ู„ุฃู„ู‚ูŠ ุฏุฑุณู‹ุง ุชุงุฑูŠุฎูŠู‹ุง.
03:16
We likely all know how we got here, OK?
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ู†ุญู†ู ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุฌุญ ู†ุนุฑูู ูƒูŠู ุญุถุฑู†ุง ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ู†ุงุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ุตุญูŠุญู‹ุงุŸ
03:18
But I'm just a guy that woke up after 30 years and realized
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุดุงุจ ุงุณุชูŠู‚ุธ ุจุนุฏ 30 ุนุงู…ู‹ุง ูˆุฃุฏุฑูƒุชู
03:21
that I was living in a state of conflict,
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ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุนุดุชู ุญุงู„ุฉ ุตุฑุงุนุŒ
03:23
conflict with who I feel I am in my core
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ุตุฑุงุน ู…ุน ู…ุง ุฃุดุนุฑ ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ููŠ ุฌูˆู‡ุฑูŠ
03:26
and conflict with who the world tells me as a man I should be.
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ูˆุตุฑุงุน ู…ุน ู…ุง ูŠุฎุจุฑู†ูŠ ุจู‡ ุงู„ุนุงู„ู… ุฃู† ุฃูƒูˆู† ูƒุฑุฌู„.
03:30
But I don't have a desire
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ู„ุง ุฃู…ู„ูƒู ุงู„ุฑุบุจุฉ
03:31
to fit into the current broken definition of masculinity,
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ู„ุฃูƒูˆู† ู…ู„ุงุฆู…ู‹ุง ุญุณุจ ุงู„ุชุนุฑูŠู ุงู„ุญุงู„ูŠ ุงู„ู†ุงู‚ุต ู„ู„ุฑุฌูˆู„ุฉุŒ
03:35
because I don't just want to be a good man.
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู„ุง ุฃุฑูŠุฏ ูู‚ุท ุฃู† ุฃูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ุงู„ุทูŠุจ.
03:39
I want to be a good human.
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ุฃุฑูŠุฏู ุฃู† ุฃูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฅู†ุณุงู† ุงู„ุฌูŠุฏ.
03:42
And I believe the only way that can happen
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏู ุจุฃู† ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏุฉ ู„ุญุฏูˆุซ ุฐู„ูƒ
03:44
is if men learn to not only embrace the qualities
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ู‡ูŠ ุฅุฐุง ุชุนู„ู‘ู… ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ู„ูŠุณ ูู‚ุท ุชุจู†ูŠ ุงู„ุตูุงุช
03:46
that we were told are feminine in ourselves
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู… ุฅุฎุจุงุฑู†ุง ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุฃู†ุซูˆูŠุฉ ููŠ ุฏุงุฎู„ู†ุง
03:50
but to be willing to stand up,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุงู„ุฑุบุจุฉ ู„ู„ูˆู‚ูˆูุŒ
03:52
to champion and learn from the women who embody them.
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ู„ุฏุนู… ูˆุงู„ุชุนู„ู… ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก ุงู„ู„ูˆุงุชูŠ ูŠุฌุณุฏู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุตูุงุช.
03:57
Now, men --
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุฃูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ
03:58
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
04:00
I am not saying that everything we have learned is toxic. OK?
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ู„ุง ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุจุฃู† ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ุชุนู„ู…ู†ุงู‡ ู‡ูˆ ุฐูˆ ุชุฃุซูŠุฑ ุณูŠุก ุฌุฏู‹ุงุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ
04:03
I'm not saying there's anything inherently wrong with you or me,
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ูˆู„ุง ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุจุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุฃูŠ ุดูŠุก ุฎุทุฃ ู…ุชุฃุตู„ ู…ุนูƒู… ุฃูˆ ู…ุนูŠุŒ
04:06
and men, I'm not saying we have to stop being men.
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ุฃูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ ู„ุง ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุจุฃู† ุนู„ูŠู†ุง ุงู„ุชูˆู‚ู ู„ู†ูƒูˆู† ุฑุฌุงู„ู‹ุง.
04:09
But we need balance, right?
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ุง ุจุญุงุฌุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ุชูˆุงุฒู†ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ
04:12
We need balance,
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ู†ุญุชุงุฌู ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุชูˆุงุฒู†ุŒ
04:14
and the only way things will change is if we take a real honest look
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ูˆุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุณุชุชุบูŠุฑ ููŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑ ู‡ูŠ ุฅุฐุง ู†ุธุฑู†ุง ุจุตุฏู‚ ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ
04:18
at the scripts that have been passed down to us
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ููŠ ุงู„ู†ุตูˆุต ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชูˆุงุฑุซู†ุงู‡ุง
04:20
from generation to generation
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ุฌูŠู„ู‹ุง ุจุนุฏ ุฌูŠู„
04:22
and the roles that, as men, we choose to take on
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ูˆุงู„ุฃุฏูˆุงุฑ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃุฎุฐู†ุงู‡ุง ูƒุฑุฌุงู„
04:25
in our everyday lives.
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ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชู†ุง ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ูŠุฉ.
04:27
So speaking of scripts,
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ูˆุจู…ู†ุงุณุจุฉ ุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู…ุงุชุŒ
04:28
the first script I ever got came from my dad.
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ุฃูˆู„ ุชุนู„ูŠู…ุงุช ุชู„ู‚ูŠุชู‡ุง ุฃุชุช ู…ู† ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠ.
04:32
My dad is awesome.
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ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠ ุฑุงุฆุน.
04:33
He's loving, he's kind, he's sensitive, he's nurturing,
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ุฅู†ู‡ ู…ุญุจ ูˆู„ุทูŠู ูˆุญุณุงุณ ูˆู…ุฑุจูŠ ุฏุงุนู….
04:40
he's here.
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ูˆุฅู†ู‡ ู‡ู†ุง.
04:42
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
04:48
He's crying.
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ุฅู†ู‡ ูŠุจูƒูŠ.
04:49
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
04:52
But, sorry, Dad, as a kid I resented him for it,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุขุณู ูŠุง ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠุŒ ูƒุทูู„ ู„ู‚ุฏ ุงุณุชุฃุชู ู…ู†ู‡ ู„ุฃุฌู„ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู…ุงุชุŒ
04:56
because I blamed him for making me soft,
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุฃู„ูˆู…ู‡ ู„ุฌุนู„ูŠ ุฑู‚ูŠู‚ู‹ุงุŒ
04:59
which wasn't welcomed in the small town in Oregon
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ุงู„ุฐูŠ ู„ู… ูŠูƒู† ู…ูˆุถุน ุชุฑุญูŠุจ ููŠ ู…ุฏูŠู†ุฉ ุตุบูŠุฑุฉ ููŠ ูˆู„ุงูŠุฉ ุฃูˆุฑูŠุบูˆู†
05:01
that we had moved to.
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุงู†ุชู‚ู„ู†ุง ุฅู„ูŠู‡ุง.
05:03
Because being soft meant that I was bullied.
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ู„ุฃู† ุงู„ุฑู‚ุฉ ุชุนู†ูŠ ุจุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุชุนุฑุถุชู ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุถุงูŠู‚ุงุช.
05:06
See, my dad wasn't traditionally masculine,
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ุชุฑูˆู†ุŒ ู„ู… ูŠูƒู† ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠ ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ุงู„ุชู‚ู„ูŠุฏูŠุŒ
05:08
so he didn't teach me how to use my hands.
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ู… ูŠุนู„ู…ู†ูŠ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ูŠุฏูŠ.
05:10
He didn't teach me how to hunt, how to fight,
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ูˆู„ู… ูŠุนู„ู…ู†ูŠ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุทุงุฑุฏุฉ ุฃูˆ ุงู„ู‚ุชุงู„ุŒ
05:14
you know, man stuff.
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ูƒู…ุง ุชุนู„ู…ูˆู†ุŒ ุฃู…ูˆุฑ ุงู„ุฑุฌู„.
05:17
Instead he taught me what he knew:
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ุจุฏู„ู‹ุง ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุนู„ู…ู†ูŠ ู…ุง ุนุฑูู‡:
05:19
that being a man was about sacrifice
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ู„ุชูƒูˆู† ุฑุฌู„ู‹ุง ูƒุงู† ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุชุถุญูŠุฉ
05:23
and doing whatever you can
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ูˆุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู…ุง ุชุณุชุทูŠุน ุนู…ู„ู‡
05:24
to take care of and provide for your family.
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ู„ุฑุนุงูŠุฉ ูˆุชูˆููŠุฑ ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ู„ุนุงุฆู„ุชูƒ.
05:27
But there was another role I learned how to play from my dad,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ูƒุงู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุฏูˆุฑูŒ ุขุฎุฑ ุชุนู„ู…ุชู‡ ู…ู† ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠ ูˆู‡ูˆ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุชู…ุซูŠู„ ุงู„ุฏูˆุฑุŒ
05:29
who, I discovered, learned it from his dad,
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ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุนู„ู…ู‡ ู…ู† ูˆุงู„ุฏู‡ ูƒู…ุง ุงุชุถุญ ู„ูŠุŒ
05:32
a state senator
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ุนุถูˆ ููŠ ู…ุฌู„ุณ ุงู„ุดูŠูˆุฎ ุนู† ุงู„ูˆู„ุงูŠุฉ
05:33
who later in life
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ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠ ู„ุงุญู‚ู‹ุง ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชู‡
05:35
had to work nights as a janitor to support his family,
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ูƒุงู† ุนู„ูŠู‡ ุฃู† ูŠุนู…ู„ ููŠ ุงู„ู„ูŠุงู„ูŠ ูƒุจูˆู‘ุงุจ ู„ุฏุนู… ุนุงุฆู„ุชู‡ุŒ
05:39
and he never told a soul.
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ูˆู„ู… ูŠุฎุจุฑ ุฃูŠ ุดุฎุต ุฃุจุฏู‹ุง.
05:41
That role was to suffer in secret.
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ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฏูˆุฑ ุฃู† ูŠุนุงู†ูŠ ููŠ ุงู„ุณุฑ.
05:43
And now three generations later,
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ูˆุงู„ุขู† ุจุนุฏ ุซู„ุงุซุฉ ุฃุฌูŠุงู„ุŒ
05:46
I find myself playing that role, too.
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ูˆุฌุฏุชู ู†ูุณูŠ ุฃู„ุนุจู ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุฏูˆุฑ ูƒุฐู„ูƒ.
05:49
So why couldn't my grandfather just reach out to another man
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ู…ุงุฐุง ู„ู… ูŠุณุชุทุน ุฌุฏูŠ ุงู„ูˆุตูˆู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฑุฌู„ู ุขุฎุฑ
05:53
and ask for help?
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ูˆุทู„ุจ ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉุŸ
05:54
Why does my dad to this day still think he's got to do it all on his own?
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ูˆู„ู…ุงุฐุง ู„ุง ูŠุฒุงู„ ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠ ูŠุนุชู‚ุฏู ุญุชู‰ ูŠูˆู…ู†ุง ู‡ุฐุง ุจุฃู† ุนู„ูŠู‡ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ุจู…ูุฑุฏุฉุŸ
05:58
I know a man who would rather die
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ุฃุนุฑูู ุจุฃู† ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ูŠูุถู„ ุงู„ู…ูˆุช
06:01
than tell another man that they're hurting.
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ุนู† ุฅุฎุจุงุฑ ุฑุฌู„ ุขุฎุฑ ุจุฃู†ู‡ ูŠุชุฃู„ู….
06:04
But it's not because we're just all, like, strong silent types.
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู„ูŠุณ ู‡ุฐุง ูู‚ุท ุจุณุจุจ ุฃู†ู†ุง ุฌู…ูŠุนู‹ุงุŒ ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุตุงู…ุชูˆู† ุฃู‚ูˆูŠุงุกุŒ
06:08
It's not. A lot of us men are really good at making friends, and talking,
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ู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒ. ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู†ุง ูƒุฑุฌุงู„ ุฌูŠุฏูŠู† ุญู‚ู‹ุง ููŠ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุกุŒ ูˆุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซุŒ
06:13
just not about anything real.
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ูู‚ุท ู„ูŠุณ ุญูˆู„ ุฃูŠ ุดูŠุก ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ.
06:15
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
06:17
If it's about work or sports or politics or women,
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑู ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุฃูˆ ุงู„ุฑูŠุงุถุฉุŒ ุฃูˆ ุงู„ุณูŠุงุณุฉ ุฃูˆ ุงู„ู†ุณุงุกุŒ
06:21
we have no problem sharing our opinions,
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ู„ูŠุณ ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ ููŠ ุชุจุงุฏู„ ูˆุฌู‡ุงุช ู†ุธุฑู†ุงุŒ
06:24
but if it's about our insecurities or our struggles,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุญูˆู„ ุนุฏู… ุดุนูˆุฑู†ุง ุจุงู„ุฃู…ู† ุฃูˆ ุตุฑุงุนุงุชู†ุงุŒ
06:27
our fear of failure,
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ุฃูˆ ุฎูˆูู†ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ูุดู„ุŒ
06:30
then it's almost like we become paralyzed.
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ุนู†ุฏู‡ุง ู†ุตุจุญ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุฌุญ ุนุงุฌุฒูŠู†.
06:33
At least, I do.
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ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃู‚ู„ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุฃูุนู„ู ุฐู„ูƒ.
06:37
So some of the ways that I have been practicing
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุทุฑู‚ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃู‚ูˆู… ุจู‡ุง
06:40
breaking free of this behavior
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ู„ู„ุชุญุฑุฑ ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุชุตุฑู
06:41
are by creating experiences that force me to be vulnerable.
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ู‡ูŠ ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุชุฌุงุฑุจ ุชุฌุจุฑู†ูŠ ู„ุฃูƒูˆู† ู‡ุดู‹ุง.
06:46
So if there's something I'm experiencing shame around in my life,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ุฅู† ูƒุงู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุดูŠุก ุฃุดุนุฑู ุฃู†ู‡ ุนุงุฑ ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชูŠุŒ
06:50
I practice diving straight into it,
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ุฃู‚ูˆู… ุจุงู„ุบูˆุต ููŠู‡ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ููˆุฑุŒ
06:53
no matter how scary it is --
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ู…ู‡ู…ุง ูƒุงู† ู…ุฎูŠูู‹ุงุŒ
06:55
and sometimes, even publicly.
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ูˆุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู†ุŒ ุญุชู‰ ุนู„ู†ู‹ุง.
06:58
Because then in doing so
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ู„ุฃู† ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุฐู„ูƒ
07:00
I take away its power,
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ุฃุณู„ุจู ุจุนูŠุฏุง ู‚ูˆุชู‡ุงุŒ
07:02
and my display of vulnerability
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ูˆูŠุธู‡ุฑู ุถุนููŠ
07:04
can in some cases give other men permission to do the same.
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ูˆูŠู…ูƒู† ููŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุญุงู„ุงุช ุฃู† ูŠุนุทูŠ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ุงู„ุฅุฐู† ุจุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู†ูุณ ุงู„ุดูŠุก.
07:09
As an example, a little while ago
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ุนู„ู‰ ุณุจูŠู„ ุงู„ู…ุซุงู„ุŒ ู‚ุจู„ ูุชุฑุฉ ู‚ุตูŠุฑุฉ
07:11
I was wrestling with an issue in my life
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ูƒู†ุชู ุฃูƒุงูุญ ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชูŠ
07:13
that I knew I needed to talk to my guy friends about,
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุนุฑูุชู ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุจุญุงุฌุฉ ู„ู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ู…ุน ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูŠ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ุญูˆู„ู‡ุงุŒ
07:17
but I was so paralyzed by fear
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ูƒู†ุชู ุนุงุฌุฒู‹ุง ุจุณุจุจ ุงู„ุฎูˆู
07:21
that they would judge me and see me as weak
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ุจุฃู†ู‡ู… ุณูŠุญูƒู…ูˆู† ุนู„ูŠู‘ ูˆูŠุฑูˆู†ู†ูŠ ูƒุถุนูŠู
07:23
and I would lose my standing as a leader
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ูˆุณุฃูู‚ุฏ ู…ู†ุฒู„ุชูŠ ุงู„ุงุฌุชู…ุงุนูŠุฉ ูƒู‚ุงุฆุฏ
07:27
that I knew I had to take them out of town on a three-day guys trip --
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ูˆุฃุฏุฑูƒุชู ุจุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู†ุจุบูŠ ุขุฎุฐู‡ู… ุฎุงุฑุฌ ุงู„ู…ุฏูŠู†ุฉ ููŠ ุฑุญู„ุฉ ุดุจุงุจูŠุฉ ู„ู…ุฏุฉ ุซู„ุงุซุฉ ุฃูŠุงู…
07:32
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
07:33
Just to open up. And guess what?
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ูˆูุชุญุชู ู„ู‡ู… ู‚ู„ุจูŠุŒ ูˆุฎู…ู†ูˆุง ู…ุงุฐุง ุญุตู„ุŸ
07:36
It wasn't until the end of the third day
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ู„ู… ูŠูƒู† ุญุชู‰ ู†ู‡ุงูŠุฉ ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุงู„ุซุงู„ุซ
07:38
that I finally found the strength to talk to them
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ูˆูˆุฌุฏุชู ุฃุฎูŠุฑู‹ุง ุงู„ู‚ูˆุฉ ู„ู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุฅู„ูŠู‡ู…
07:42
about what I was going through.
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ุญูˆู„ ู…ุง ุฃู…ุฑู ุจู‡.
07:45
But when I did, something amazing happened.
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ูˆุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูุนู„ุชู ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ุญุฏุซ ุดูŠุก ุฑุงุฆุน.
07:47
I realized that I wasn't alone,
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ุฃุฏุฑูƒุชู ุจุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู„ู… ุฃูƒู† ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏุŒ
07:50
because my guys had also been struggling.
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ู„ุฃู† ู„ุฏู‰ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูŠ ุตุฑุงุนุงุช ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
07:53
And as soon as I found the strength and the courage to share my shame,
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ูˆุญุงู„ู…ุง ูˆุฌุฏุชู ุงู„ู‚ูˆุฉ ูˆุงู„ุดุฌุงุนุฉ ู„ุฃุดุงุฑูƒู‡ู… ุนุงุฑูŠุŒ
07:57
it was gone.
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ุชู„ุงุดู‰ุŒ
07:59
Now, I've learned over time
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุชุนู„ู…ุชู ู…ุน ู…ุฑูˆุฑ ุงู„ุฒู…ู†
08:01
that if I want to practice vulnerability,
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ุจุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู„ูˆ ุฃุฑุฏุชู ู…ู…ุงุฑุณุฉ ุงู„ุถุนูุŒ
08:03
then I need to build myself a system of accountability.
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ุนู„ูŠู‘ ุญูŠู†ู‡ุง ุจู†ุงุก ู†ุธุงู… ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุณุงุกู„ุฉ ู„ู†ูุณูŠ.
08:06
So I've been really blessed as an actor.
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ูƒู†ุชู ู…ุญุธูˆุธู‹ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง ูƒู…ู…ุซู„.
08:10
I've built a really wonderful fan base,
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ุจู†ูŠุชู ู‚ุงุนุฏุฉ ุฌู…ุงู‡ูŠุฑูŠุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุงุŒ
08:13
really, really sweet and engaged,
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ุฌู…ูŠู„ุฉ ูˆู…ุดุงุฑูƒุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุงุŒ
08:15
and so I decided to use my social platform
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ูˆู‚ุฑุฑุชู ุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ู…ู†ุตุชูŠ ุงู„ุงุฌุชู…ุงุนูŠุฉ
08:18
as kind of this Trojan horse
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ูƒู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุญุตุงู† ุทุฑูˆุงุฏุฉ
08:20
wherein I could create a daily practice of authenticity and vulnerability.
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ุญูŠุซ ุงุณุชุทุนุชู ุงุจุชุฏุงุน ู…ู…ุงุฑุณุฉ ูŠูˆู…ูŠุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุตุงู„ุฉ ูˆุงู„ุถุนู.
08:25
The response has been incredible.
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ูˆูƒุงู†ุช ุงู„ุงุณุชุฌุงุจุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ.
08:27
It's been affirming, it's been heartwarming.
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ูƒุงู†ุช ู…ุคูƒุฏุฉ ูˆุญู…ูŠู…ุฉ.
08:31
I get tons of love and press and positive messages daily.
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ุฃุญุตู„ ุนู„ู‰ ุฃุทู†ุงู† ู…ู† ุฑุณุงุฆู„ ุงู„ุญุจ ุงู„ู…ุทุจูˆุนุฉ ูˆุงู„ุฅูŠุฌุงุจูŠุฉ ูŠูˆู…ูŠู‹ุง.
08:36
But it's all from a certain demographic:
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ู‡ุง ุฌู…ูŠุนู‹ุง ู…ู† ุนูŠู†ุฉ ุณูƒุงู†ูŠุฉ ู…ุญุฏุฏุฉุŒ
08:40
women.
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ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก.
08:41
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
08:44
This is real.
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ู‡ุฐุง ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ.
08:47
Why are only women following me?
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ู„ู…ุงุฐุง ูŠุชุจุนู†ูŠ ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก ูู‚ุทุŸ
08:50
Where are the men?
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ุฃูŠู† ู‡ู… ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŸ
08:51
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
08:54
About a year ago, I posted this photo.
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ู‚ุจู„ ู†ุญูˆ ุนุงู…ุŒ ู†ุดุฑุชู ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุตูˆุฑุฉ.
08:58
Now, afterwards, I was scrolling through some of the comments,
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ููŠู…ุง ุจุนุฏุŒ ูƒู†ุชู ุฃุชุตูุญู ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุชุŒ
09:01
and I noticed that one of my female fans had tagged her boyfriend in the picture,
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ูˆู„ุงุญุธุชู ุจุฃู† ุฅุญุฏู‰ ุงู„ู…ุนุฌุจุงุช ุฃู„ุญู‚ุช ุงุณู… ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‡ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุตูˆุฑุฉุŒ
09:05
and her boyfriend responded by saying,
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ูˆุฑุฏ ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‡ุง ู‚ุงุฆู„ู‹ุงุŒ
09:07
"Please stop tagging me in gay shit.
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"ุงู„ุฑุฌุงุก ุชูˆู‚ููŠ ุนู† ุฅู„ุญุงู‚ ุงุณู…ูŠ ููŠ ู‡ุฑุงุก ุงู„ู…ุซู„ูŠูŠู†.
09:11
Thx."
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ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ู„ูƒ."
09:12
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
09:14
As if being gay makes you less of a man, right?
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ูˆูƒุฃู† ูƒูˆู†ูƒ ู…ุซู„ูŠ ุงู„ุฌู†ุณ ูŠุฌุนู„ูƒ ุฃู‚ู„ ู…ู† ุฑุฌู„ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ุตุญูŠุญู‹ุงุŸ
09:18
So I took a deep breath,
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ูุชู†ูุณุชู ุนู…ูŠู‚ู‹ุงุŒ
09:21
and I responded.
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ูˆู‚ู…ุชู ุจุงู„ุฑุฏุŒ
09:24
I said,
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ูˆู‚ู„ุชุŒ
09:26
very politely, that I was just curious,
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ุจูƒู„ ุฃุฏุจ ุจุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ูุถูˆู„ูŠุŒ
09:28
because I'm on an exploration of masculinity,
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุงูƒุชุดูู ุฑุฌูˆู„ุชูŠุŒ
09:30
and I wanted to know why my love for my wife
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ูˆุฃุฑุฏุชู ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ู„ู…ุงุฐุง ุญุจูŠ ู„ุฒูˆุฌุชูŠ
09:32
qualified as gay shit.
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ูŠุคู‡ู„ู†ูŠ ู„ู‡ุฑุงุก ู…ุซู„ูŠูŠ ุงู„ุฌู†ุณ.
09:34
And then I said, honestly I just wanted to learn.
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ูˆุซู… ู‚ู„ุชุŒ ุจุตุฑุงุญุฉ ุฃุฑุฏุชู ุงู„ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ูู‚ุท.
09:37
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
09:42
Now, he immediately wrote me back.
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ูƒุชุจ ู„ูŠ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ููˆุฑ ู…ุฑุฉู‹ ุฃุฎุฑู‰.
09:45
I thought he was going to go off on me, but instead he apologized.
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ุงุนุชู‚ุฏุชู ุจุฃู†ู‡ ุณูŠู‡ุงุฌู…ู†ูŠุŒ ู„ูƒู†ู‡ ุจุฏู„ู‹ุง ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุงุนุชุฐุฑ ู„ูŠ.
09:51
He told me how, growing up,
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ูˆุฃุฎุจุฑู†ูŠ ูƒูŠูุŒ ู…ุน ุงู„ุชู‚ุฏู… ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ุฑุŒ
09:53
public displays of affection were looked down on.
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ูˆุฅุธู‡ุงุฑ ุงู„ุนูˆุงุทู ุนู„ู†ู‹ุง ุชุณุชุตุบุฑู ุงู„ุดุฎุต.
09:57
He told me that he was wrestling and struggling with his ego,
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ูˆุฃุฎุจุฑู†ูŠ ุจุฃู†ู‡ ูƒุงู† ูŠูƒุงูุญ ูˆูŠู†ุงุถู„ ู…ุน ุบุฑูˆุฑู‡ ุจู†ูุณู‡/ุงู„ุฃู†ุงุŒ
10:01
and how much he loved his girlfriend
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ูˆุฃู†ู‡ ุฃุญุจ ุตุฏูŠู‚ุชู‡ ูƒุซูŠุฑู‹ุง
10:03
and how thankful he was for her patience.
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ูˆุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู…ุชู† ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู„ุตุจุฑู‡ุง.
10:07
And then a few weeks later,
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ูˆุจุนุฏ ุนุฏุฉ ุฃุณุงุจูŠุนุŒ
10:09
he messaged me again.
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ุฃุฑุณู„ ู„ูŠ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰.
10:12
This time he sent me a photo
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ุฃุฑุณู„ ู„ูŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฑุฉ ุตูˆุฑุฉ
10:15
of him on one knee proposing.
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ู„ู‡ ูˆู‡ูˆ ุฑุงูƒุน ูŠุทู„ุจ ูŠุฏ ุตุฏูŠู‚ุชู‡.
10:16
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
10:22
And all he said was, "Thank you."
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ูˆูƒู„ ู…ุง ู‚ุงู„ู‡: "ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ู„ูƒ."
10:25
I've been this guy.
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ูƒู†ุชู ู…ุซู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุงุจ.
10:27
I get it.
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ุฃุณุชุทูŠุน ูู‡ู… ุฐู„ูƒ.
10:28
See, publicly, he was just playing his role,
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ุฃุชุฑูˆู†ุŒ ุนู„ู†ู‹ุงุŒ ูƒุงู† ูŠู„ุนุจู ุฏูˆุฑู‡ ูู‚ุทุŒ
10:30
rejecting the feminine, right?
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ุจุฑูุถู‡ ุงู„ุฃู†ูˆุซุฉุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ุตุญูŠุญู‹ุงุŸ
10:32
But secretly he was waiting for permission to express himself,
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ู„ูƒู† ููŠ ุงู„ุณุฑุŒ ูƒุงู† ูŠู†ุชุธุฑ ุงู„ุฅุฐู† ู„ู„ุชุนุจูŠุฑ ุนู† ู†ูุณู‡ุŒ
10:37
to be seen, to be heard,
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ู„ูŠุฑุงู‡ ูˆูŠุณู…ุนู‡ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูˆู†ุŒ
10:38
and all he needed was another man
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ูˆูƒุงู† ูƒู„ ู…ุง ุงุญุชุงุฌู‡ ุฑุฌู„ู‹ุง ุขุฎุฑ
10:39
holding him accountable and creating a safe space for him to feel,
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ูŠุฎุถุนู‡ ู„ู„ู…ุณุงุกู„ุฉุŒ ูˆูŠุญุฏุซู ู…ูƒุงู†ู‹ุง ุขู…ู†ู‹ุง ู„ู‡ ู„ูŠุดุนุฑุŒ
10:43
and the transformation was instant.
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ูˆูƒุงู† ุงู„ุชุญูˆู„ ููˆุฑูŠู‹ุง.
10:45
I loved this experience,
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ุฃุญุจุจุชู ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุชุฌุฑุจุฉุŒ
10:47
because it showed me that transformation is possible,
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุฃูˆุถุญุช ู„ูŠ ุจุฃู† ุงู„ุชุญูˆู„ ู…ู…ูƒู†ู‹ุงุŒ
10:50
even over direct messages.
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ุญุชู‰ ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุฑุณุงุฆู„ ู…ุจุงุดุฑุฉ.
10:52
So I wanted to figure out how I could reach more men,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃุฑุฏุชู ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุงู„ูˆุตูˆู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ
10:55
but of course none of them were following me.
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ู„ูƒู† ุจุงู„ุทุจุน ู„ู… ูŠุชุจุนู†ูŠ ุฃูŠ ุฃุญุฏ ู…ู†ู‡ู….
10:57
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
10:59
So I tried an experiment.
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุญุงูˆู„ุชู ุชุฌุฑุจุฉุŒ
11:01
I started posting more stereotypically masculine things --
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ูุจุฏุฃุช ููŠ ู†ุดุฑ ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุนู…ุงู„ ุงู„ู†ู…ุทูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฐูƒูˆุฑูŠุฉุŒ
11:05
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
11:07
Like my challenging workouts, my meal plans,
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ู…ุซู„ ุชุฏุฑูŠุจุงุช ุงู„ุชู…ุงุฑูŠู† ุงู„ุฑูŠุงุถูŠุฉ ุงู„ุตุนุจุฉุŒ ูˆุฎุทุท ูˆุฌุจุงุชูŠ ุงู„ุบุฐุงุฆูŠุฉุŒ
11:11
my journey to heal my body after an injury.
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ุฑุญู„ุชูŠ ู„ุดูุงุก ุฌุณุฏูŠ ุจุนุฏ ุฅุตุงุจุฉ ู…ุง.
11:14
And guess what happened?
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ูˆุฎู…ู‘ู†ูˆุง ู…ุงุฐุง ุญุฏุซุŸ
11:17
Men started to write me.
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ุจุฏุฃ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ูŠูƒุชุจูˆู† ู„ูŠ.
11:19
And then, out of the blue, for the first time in my entire career,
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ูˆุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ูˆูุฌุฃุฉู‹ุŒ ู„ุฃูˆู„ ู…ุฑุฉ ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชูŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ูŠุฉ ุจุฃูƒู…ู„ู‡ุงุŒ
11:22
a male fitness magazine called me,
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ุงุชุตู„ุช ุจูŠ ู…ุฌู„ุฉ ู„ูŠุงู‚ุฉ ุจุฏู†ูŠุฉ ุฎุงุตุฉ ุจุงู„ุฐูƒูˆุฑุŒ
11:25
and they said they wanted to honor me as one of their game-changers.
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ูˆู‚ุงู„ูˆุง ุฃู†ู‡ู… ุฃุฑุงุฏูˆุง ุชูƒุฑูŠู…ูŠ ูƒูˆุงุญุฏ ู…ู† ู…ุบูŠุฑูŠ ุงู„ู„ุนุจุฉ ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู….
11:31
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
11:35
Was that really game-changing?
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ู‡ู„ ูƒุงู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุชุบูŠูŠุฑู‹ุง ู„ู„ุนุจุฉุŸ
11:38
Or is it just conforming?
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ุฃูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ุง ูู‚ุท ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ู…ุทุงุจู‚ุฉุŸ
11:40
And see, that's the problem.
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ูˆุชุฑูˆู†ุŒ ู‡ุฐู‡ ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ.
11:42
It's totally cool for men to follow me
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ุฅู†ู‡ ู„ุฑุงุฆุน ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุฃู† ูŠุชุจุนู†ูŠ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„
11:44
when I talk about guy stuff
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุฃุชุญุฏุซู ุนู† ุฃู…ูˆุฑ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„
11:47
and I conform to gender norms.
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ูˆุฃู…ุชุซู„ู ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ุนุงูŠูŠุฑ ู†ูˆุน ุงู„ุฌู†ุณ.
11:50
But if I talk about how much I love my wife
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฅุฐุง ุชุญุฏุซุชู ุญูˆู„ ูƒู… ุฃุญุจู ุฒูˆุฌุชูŠ
11:54
or my daughter or my 10-day-old son,
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ุฃูˆ ุงุจู†ุชูŠ ุฃูˆ ุงุจู†ูŠ ุงู„ุจุงู„ุบ 10 ุฃูŠุงู… ู…ู† ุงู„ุนู…ุฑุŒ
11:58
how I believe that marriage is challenging but beautiful,
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ูƒูŠู ุฃุคู…ู† ุจุฃู† ุงู„ุฒูˆุงุฌ ู‡ูˆ ุชุญุฏูŠ ู„ูƒู†ู‡ ุฌู…ูŠู„ุŒ
12:02
or how as a man I struggle with body dysmorphia,
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ุฃูˆ ูƒูŠู ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ูƒุฑุฌู„ ุฃุนุงู†ูŠ ู…ู† ุจู†ูŠุชูŠ ุงู„ุฌุณุฏูŠุฉ ุงู„ุนุถู„ูŠุฉุŒ
12:06
or if I promote gender equality, then only the women show up.
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ุฃูˆ ุฅุฐุง ุฏุนู…ุชู ุงู„ู…ุณุงูˆุงุฉ ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุฌู†ุณูŠู†ุŒ ูŠุธู‡ุฑู ู„ุงุญู‚ู‹ุง ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก ูู‚ุท.
12:10
Where are the men?
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ุฃูŠู† ู‡ู… ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŸ
12:12
So men, men, men,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ุฃูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ
12:17
men!
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ุฃูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„!
12:19
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
12:27
I understand.
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ุฅู†ู†ูŠ ุฃูู‡ู…ู.
12:29
Growing up, we tend to challenge each other.
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ู†ูƒุจุฑู ูˆู†ู…ูŠู„ู ู„ู†ุชุญุฏู‰ ุจุนุถู†ุง ุงู„ุจุนุถ.
12:32
We've got to be the toughest,
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ุนู„ูŠู†ุง ุฃู† ู†ูƒูˆู† ุฃู‚ุณู‰ุŒ
12:33
the strongest, the bravest men that we can be.
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ูˆุฃู‚ูˆู‰ุŒ ูˆุฃุดุฌุน ุฑุฌุงู„ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ู†ูƒูˆู†.
12:36
And for many of us, myself included, our identities are wrapped up
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ูˆู„ู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู†ุงุŒ ุจู…ุง ููŠู‡ู… ุฃู†ุงุŒ ุชู… ุชุบู„ูŠู ู‡ูˆูŠุงุชู†ุง
12:40
in whether or not at the end of the day we feel like we're man enough.
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ุณูˆุงุก ุดุนุฑู†ุง ุฃูˆ ู„ู… ู†ุดุนุฑ ููŠ ู†ู‡ุงูŠุฉ ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุจุฃู†ู†ุง ุฑุฌุงู„ ุจู…ุง ููŠู‡ ุงู„ูƒูุงูŠุฉ.
12:45
But I've got a challenge for all the guys,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู„ุฏูŠ ุชุญุฏูŠ ู„ูƒู„ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ
12:47
because men love challenges.
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ู„ุฃู† ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ูŠุญุจูˆู† ุงู„ุชุญุฏูŠุงุช.
12:49
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
12:52
I challenge you to see if you can use the same qualities
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ุฃุชุญุฏุงูƒู… ู„ุฑุคูŠุฉ ุฅู† ูƒุงู† ุจู…ู‚ุฏูˆุฑูƒู… ุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุตูุงุช
12:55
that you feel make you a man
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุดุนุฑูƒู… ุจุฃู†ูƒู… ุฑุฌุงู„
12:57
to go deeper into yourself.
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ู„ู„ุบูˆุต ุฏุงุฎู„ ุฃู†ูุณูƒู….
13:00
Your strength, your bravery, your toughness:
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ู‚ูˆุชูƒู…ุŒ ุดุฌุงุนุชูƒู…ุŒ ูˆู‚ุณูˆุชูƒู…:
13:03
Can we redefine what those mean and use them to explore our hearts?
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ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุฅุนุงุฏุฉ ุชุนุฑูŠู ู…ุงุฐุง ุชุนู†ูŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุตูุงุช ูˆุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู…ู‡ุง ู„ุงุณุชูƒุดุงู ู‚ู„ูˆุจู†ุงุŸ
13:10
Are you brave enough
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ู‡ู„ ุฃู†ุชู… ุดุฌุนุงู† ุจู…ุง ูŠูƒููŠ
13:12
to be vulnerable?
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ู„ุชูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุถุนูุงุกุŸ
13:15
To reach out to another man when you need help?
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ู„ู„ูˆุตูˆู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฑุฌู„ ุขุฎุฑ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุญุชุงุฌููˆู† ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉุŸ
13:18
To dive headfirst into your shame?
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ู„ุชุบูˆุตูˆุง ุฑุฃุณู‹ุง ููŠ ุนุงุฑูƒู…ุŸ
13:22
Are you strong enough to be sensitive,
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ู‡ู„ ุฃู†ุชู… ุฃู‚ูˆูŠุงุก ุจู…ุง ูŠูƒููŠ ู„ุชูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุญุณุงุณูŠู†ุŒ
13:25
to cry whether you are hurting
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ู„ุชุจูƒูˆุง ุณูˆุงุก ูƒู†ุชู… ุชุชุฃู„ู…ูˆู†
13:27
or you're happy,
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ุฃูˆ ูˆุฃู†ุชู… ุณุนุฏุงุก.
13:28
even if it makes you look weak?
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ุญุชู‰ ูˆู„ูˆ ุฌุนู„ูƒู… ู‡ุฐุง ุชุจุฏูˆู† ุถุนูุงุกุŸ
13:31
Are you confident enough
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ู‡ู„ ุฃู†ุชู… ูˆุงุซู‚ูˆู† ุจู…ุง ูŠูƒููŠ
13:34
to listen to the women in your life?
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ู„ู„ุฅุตุบุงุก ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก ุงู„ู…ุชูˆุงุฌุฏุงุช ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชูƒู…ุŸ
13:37
To hear their ideas and their solutions?
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ู„ุณู…ุงุน ุฃููƒุงุฑู‡ู† ูˆุญู„ูˆู„ู‡ู†ุŸ
13:39
To hold their anguish
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ูˆู„ุชุญู…ู„ูˆุง ู…ุนุงู†ุงุชู‡ู†
13:41
and actually believe them,
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ูˆุชุตุฏู‚ูˆู‡ู† ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุนุŒ
13:44
even if what they're saying is against you?
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ุญุชู‰ ูˆู„ูˆ ูƒุงู† ู…ุง ุณูŠู‚ูˆู„ูˆู†ู‡ ุถุฏูƒู…ุŸ
13:47
And will you be man enough
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ู‡ู„ ุณุชูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุฑุฌุงู„ู‹ุง ุจู…ุง ูŠูƒููŠ
13:49
to stand up to other men when you hear "locker room talk,"
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ู„ู„ูˆู‚ูˆู ุฃู…ุงู… ุฑุฌุงู„ ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุณู…ุนูˆู† "ุญุฏูŠุซ ุบุฑู ุชุบูŠูŠุฑ ุงู„ู…ู„ุงุจุณุŒ"
13:53
when you hear stories of sexual harassment?
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ูˆุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุณู…ุนูˆู† ู‚ุตุตู‹ุง ุนู† ุงู„ุชุญุฑุด ุงู„ุฌู†ุณูŠุŸ
13:55
When you hear your boys talking about grabbing ass or getting her drunk,
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุณู…ุนูˆู† ุฃูˆู„ุงุฏูƒู… ูŠุชุญุฏุซูˆู† ุนู† ู„ู…ุณ ู…ุคุฎุฑุฉ ุฅุญุฏุงู‡ู† ุฃูˆ ุฌุนู„ู‡ุง ุชุซู…ู„ุŒ
13:59
will you actually stand up and do something
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ู‡ู„ ุณุชู‚ููˆู† ุญู‚ู‹ุง ูˆุชู‚ูˆู…ูˆู† ุจุนู…ู„ ุดูŠุก
14:01
so that one day we don't have to live in a world
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ุจุญูŠุซ ูŠูˆู…ู‹ุง ู…ุง ู„ุง ู†ุถุทุฑ ู„ู„ุนูŠุด ููŠ ุนุงู„ู…ู
14:03
where a woman has to risk everything
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ุญูŠุซ ูŠูƒูˆู† ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุฑุฃุฉ ุฃู† ุชุถุญูŠ ุจูƒู„ ุดูŠุก
14:05
and come forward to say the words "me too?"
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ูˆุชู…ุถูŠ ู‚ุฏู…ู‹ุง ู„ู‚ูˆู„ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ูƒู„ู…ุงุช "ุฃู†ุง ุฃูŠุถู‹ุงุŸ"
14:07
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
14:18
This is serious stuff.
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ู‡ุฐุง ุฃู…ุฑ ุฎุทูŠุฑ.
14:21
I've had to take a real, honest look
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ูƒุงู† ุนู„ูŠ ุฅู„ู‚ุงุก ู†ุธุฑุฉ ุตุงุฏู‚ุฉ ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠุฉ
14:22
at the ways that I've unconsciously been hurting the women in my life,
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ููŠ ุงู„ุทุฑู‚ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูƒู†ุชู ุฃุณูŠุก ููŠู‡ุง ู„ุง ุดุนูˆุฑูŠู‹ุง ู„ู„ู†ุณุงุก ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชูŠุŒ
14:28
and it's ugly.
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ุฃู…ุฑูŒ ู‚ุจูŠุญ.
14:31
My wife told me that I had been acting in a certain way that hurt her
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ุฃุฎุจุฑุชู†ูŠ ุฒูˆุฌุชูŠ ุจุฃู†ู†ูŠ ูƒู†ุช ุฃุชุตุฑู ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุนูŠู†ุฉ ู…ู…ุง ุฃุณุงุก ุฅู„ูŠู‡ุง
14:36
and not correcting it.
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ูˆู„ู… ุฃู‚ู… ุจุชุตุญูŠุญู‡ุง.
14:39
Basically, sometimes when she would go to speak,
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ููŠ ุงู„ุฃุณุงุณุŒ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุฃุฑุงุฏุช ุฃู† ุชุชุญุฏุซ ููŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู†ุŒ
14:43
at home or in public,
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ููŠ ุงู„ุจูŠุช ุฃูˆ ุนู„ู†ู‹ุงุŒ
14:45
I would just cut her off mid-sentence and finish her thought for her.
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ูƒู†ุชู ุฃู‚ูˆู… ุจู…ู‚ุงุทุนุชู‡ุง ููŠ ู…ู†ุชุตู ุฌู…ู„ุชู‡ุง ูˆุฃูƒู…ู„ู ููƒุฑุชู‡ุง ุจุงู„ู†ูŠุงุจุฉ ุนู†ู‡ุง.
14:51
It's awful.
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ุฅู†ู‡ ุฃู…ุฑูŒ ูุธูŠุน.
14:53
The worst part was that I was completely unaware when I was doing it.
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ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฌุฒุก ุงู„ุฃุณูˆุฃ ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ูƒู†ุชู ุบูŠุฑ ู…ุฏุฑูƒ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒู†ุชู ุฃู‚ูˆู… ุจุฐู„ูƒ.
14:56
It was unconscious.
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ุฅู†ู‡ ุฃู…ุฑูŒ ู„ุง ุดุนูˆุฑูŠ.
14:58
So here I am doing my part,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ูุฅู†ู†ูŠ ู‡ู†ุง ุฃู‚ูˆู… ุจูˆุงุฌุจูŠุŒ
15:00
trying to be a feminist,
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ู…ุญุงูˆู„ู‹ุง ู„ุฃูƒูˆู† ู…ู†ุงุตุฑู‹ุง ู„ู„ู…ุฑุฃุฉุŒ
15:01
amplifying the voices of women around the world,
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ู…ูˆุตู„ู‹ุง ุฃุตูˆุงุช ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…ุŒ
15:04
and yet at home,
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ูˆููŠ ุงู„ุจูŠุชุŒ
15:05
I am using my louder voice to silence the woman I love the most.
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ุฃุณุชุฎุฏู…ู ุตูˆุชูŠ ุงู„ุนุงู„ูŠ ู„ุฅุณูƒุงุช ุตูˆุช ุงู„ู…ุฑุฃุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃุญุจู‡ุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุดูŠุก.
15:11
So I had to ask myself a tough question:
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ูƒุงู† ุนู„ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃุณุฃู„ ู†ูุณูŠ ุณุคุงู„ู‹ุง ุตุนุจู‹ุง:
15:14
am I man enough
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ู‡ู„ ุฃู†ุง ุฑุฌู„ู‹ุง ุจู…ุง ูŠูƒููŠ
15:16
to just shut the hell up and listen?
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ู„ุฃุบู„ู‚ ูู…ูŠ ูˆุฃุณุชู…ุนุŸ
15:18
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
15:20
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
15:24
I've got to be honest. I wish that didn't get an applause.
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ู„ุฃูƒูˆู† ุตุงุฏู‚ู‹ุง ู…ุนูƒู…ุŒ ุฃุชู…ู†ู‰ ู„ูˆ ู…ุง ุญุตู„ุชู ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุชุตููŠู‚.
15:27
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
15:29
Guys,
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ุฃูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุดุจุงุจุŒ
15:31
this is real.
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ู‡ุฐุง ุฃู…ุฑูŒ ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ.
15:33
And I'm just scratching the surface here,
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ูˆุฅู†ู†ูŠ ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุฃุนุงู„ุฌู ุงู„ู…ูˆุถูˆุน ุณุทุญูŠู‹ุง ู‡ู†ุงุŒ
15:35
because the deeper we go, the uglier it gets, I guarantee you.
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ุง ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ู†ุบูˆุตู ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู‚ ุฃูƒุซุฑุŒ ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู‚ุจุญู‹ุงุŒ ุฃุคูƒุฏ ู„ูƒ ุฐู„ูƒ.
15:38
I don't have time to get into porn and violence against women
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ู„ูŠุณ ู„ุฏูŠ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ุงู„ูƒุงููŠ ู„ู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุฅุจุงุญูŠุฉ ูˆุงู„ุนู†ู ุถุฏ ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก
15:41
or the split of domestic duties
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ุฃูˆ ุชู‚ุณูŠู… ุงู„ูˆุงุฌุจุงุช ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ูŠุฉ
15:45
or the gender pay gap.
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ุฃูˆ ุงู„ูุฌูˆุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ุฃุฌูˆุฑ ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุฌู†ุณูŠู†.
15:48
But I believe that as men,
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู†ุง ูƒุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ
15:50
it's time we start to see past our privilege
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ุญุงู† ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ู„ู†ุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุฑุคูŠุฉ ู…ุง ูˆุฑุงุก ุงู…ุชูŠุงุฒู†ุง
15:52
and recognize that we are not just part of the problem.
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ูˆุงู„ุงุนุชุฑุงู ุฃู†ู†ุง ู„ุณู†ุง ูู‚ุท ุฌุฒุกู‹ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ.
15:55
Fellas, we are the problem.
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ูŠุง ุฑูุงู‚ูŠุŒ ู†ุญู† ุงู„ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ ุฐุงุชู‡ุง.
15:56
The glass ceiling exists because we put it there,
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ูŠูˆุฌุฏ ุณู‚ู ุฒุฌุงุฌ ู„ุฃู†ู†ุง ู†ุถุนู‡ ู‡ู†ุงูƒุŒ
16:00
and if we want to be a part of the solution,
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ูˆุฅุฐุง ุฃุฑุฏู†ุง ุฃู† ู†ูƒูˆู† ุฌุฒุกู‹ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ุญู„ุŒ
16:02
then words are no longer enough.
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ุญูŠู†ุฆุฐู’ ู„ู… ุชุนุฏ ุงู„ูƒู„ู…ุงุช ูƒุงููŠุฉ.
16:05
There's a quote that I love that I grew up with from the Bahรก'รญ writings.
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุงู‚ุชุจุงุณ ุฃุญุจู‡ ูˆู†ุดุฃุชู ู…ุนู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ูƒุชุงุจุงุช ุงู„ุจู‡ุงุฆูŠุฉ.
16:10
It says that "the world of humanity is possessed of two wings,
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ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุฃู†ุŒ "ุนุงู„ู… ุงู„ุฅู†ุณุงู†ูŠุฉ ูŠุญูˆุฒู ุนู„ู‰ ุฌู†ุงุญูŠู†ุŒ
16:14
the male and the female.
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ุงู„ุฐูƒุฑ ูˆุงู„ุฃู†ุซู‰ุŒ
16:17
So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength,
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ูุทุงู„ู…ุง ุฃู† ู‡ุฐูŠู† ุงู„ุฌู†ุงุญูŠู† ุบูŠุฑ ู…ุชูƒุงูุฆูŠู† ููŠ ุงู„ู‚ูˆุฉุŒ
16:21
the bird will not fly."
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ูุงู„ุทูŠุฑู ู„ู† ูŠุทูŠุฑ."
16:25
So women,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ุฃูŠุชู‡ุง ุงู„ู†ุณุงุกุŒ
16:27
on behalf of men all over the world
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ุจุงู„ู†ูŠุงุจุฉ ุนู† ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ููŠ ูƒู„ ุฃู†ุญุงุก ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…
16:31
who feel similar to me,
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุดุนุฑูˆู† ู…ุซู„ูŠุŒ
16:34
please forgive us
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ุงู„ุฑุฌุงุก ุณุงู…ุญูˆู†ุง
16:36
for all the ways that we have not relied on your strength.
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ู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ุงู„ุทุฑู‚ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ู… ู†ุนุชู…ุฏู ููŠู‡ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู‚ูˆุชูƒู†.
16:41
And now I would like to ask you to formally help us,
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ูˆุงู„ุขู† ุฃูˆุฏู ุฃู† ุฃุทู„ุจ ู…ู†ูƒู† ุฑุณู…ูŠู‹ุง ู…ุณุงุนุฏุชู†ุงุŒ
16:44
because we cannot do this alone.
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ุง ู„ู† ู†ุณุชุทูŠุน ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ุฐุง ูˆุญุฏู†ุง.
16:46
We are men. We're going to mess up.
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ูู†ุญู† ุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ ูˆุณู†ูุณุฏู ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑ ูˆู†ุณุจุจ ุงู„ููˆุถู‰.
16:48
We're going to say the wrong thing. We're going to be tone-deaf.
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ุณู†ู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ุดูŠุก ุงู„ุฎุงุทู‰ุก. ูˆู„ู† ู†ุฌูŠุฏ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุงู„ุดูŠุก ุจุดูƒู„ู ุฌูŠุฏ.
16:51
We're more than likely, probably, going to offend you.
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ุณู†ู‚ูˆู… ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุฌุญุŒ ุฑุจู…ุงุŒ ุจุงู„ุฅุณุงุกุฉ ุฅู„ูŠูƒู†.
16:53
But don't lose hope.
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู„ุง ุชูู‚ุฏู† ุงู„ุฃู…ู„.
16:56
We're only here because of you,
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ุฅู†ู†ุง ู‡ู†ุง ูู‚ุท ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ูƒู†.
16:59
and like you, as men, we need to stand up and become your allies
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ูˆู…ุซู„ูƒู†ุŒ ูƒุฑุฌุงู„ุŒ ู†ุญุชุงุฌู ุฃู† ู†ู‚ู ูˆู†ุตุจุญ ุญู„ูุงุฆูƒู†
17:02
as you fight against
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ูˆุฃู†ุชู† ุชูƒุงูุญู† ุถุฏ
17:05
pretty much everything.
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ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ุชู‚ุฑูŠุจู‹ุง.
17:08
We need your help in celebrating our vulnerability
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ู†ุญุชุงุฌู ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุชูƒู† ู„ู„ุงุญุชูุงู„ ุจุถุนูู†ุง
17:11
and being patient with us
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ูˆุชุญูˆู„ู† ุจุงู„ุตุจุฑ ู…ุนู†ุง
17:13
as we make this very, very long journey
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ูˆู†ุญู† ู†ุฌุนู„ู ู‡ุฐู‡ ุฑุญู„ุฉ ุทูˆูŠู„ุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุฌุฏู‹ุง
17:17
from our heads to our hearts.
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ู…ู† ุฑุคูˆุณู†ุง ุฅู„ู‰ ู‚ู„ูˆุจู†ุง.
17:20
And finally to parents:
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ูˆุฃุฎูŠุฑู‹ุง ุฅู„ู‰ ุฃูˆู„ูŠุงุก ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑุŒ
17:25
instead of teaching our children
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ุจุฏู„ู‹ุง ู…ู† ุชุนู„ูŠู… ุฃุทูุงู„ู†ุง
17:27
to be brave boys or pretty girls,
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ู„ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุฃูˆู„ุงุฏู‹ุง ุดุฌุนุงู†ู‹ุง ุฃูˆ ูุชูŠุงุช ุฌู…ูŠู„ุงุชุŒ
17:33
can we maybe just teach them how to be good humans?
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ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุฑุจู…ุง ุชุนู„ูŠู…ู‡ู… ูƒูŠู ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุจุดุฑู‹ุง ุทูŠุจูŠู† ูู‚ุทุŸ
17:38
So back to my dad.
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ู„ู„ุนูˆุฏุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠ.
17:41
Growing up, yeah, like every boy, I had my fair share of issues,
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ูƒุจุฑุชูุŒ ู†ุนู…ุŒ ู…ุซู„ ูƒู„ ุงู„ุฃุทูุงู„ุŒ ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠ ู†ุตูŠุจูŠ ุงู„ุนุงุฏู„ ู…ู† ุงู„ู‚ุถุงูŠุงุŒ
17:45
but now I realize that it was even thanks to his sensitivity
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุฏุฑูƒุชู ุงู„ุขู† ุจุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุจูุถู„ ุญุณุงุณูŠุชู‡
17:48
and emotional intelligence
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ูˆุฐูƒุงุฆู‡ ุงู„ุนุงุทููŠ
17:50
that I am able to stand here right now talking to you in the first place.
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ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฌุนู„ู†ูŠ ู‚ุงุฏุฑู‹ุง ู„ุฃู‚ู ู‡ู†ุง ููŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู„ุญุธุฉ ู„ู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุฅู„ูŠูƒู… ููŠ ุงู„ู…ู‚ุงู… ุงู„ุฃูˆู„.
17:55
The resentment I had for my dad I now realize had nothing to do with him.
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ูุงู„ุงุณุชูŠุงุก ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูƒุงู† ูŠุชู…ู„ูƒู†ูŠ ุถุฏ ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠุŒ ุฃุฏุฑูƒู ุงู„ุขู† ุจุฃู† ู„ุง ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ ู„ู‡ ุจู‡.
17:58
It had everything to do with me and my longing to be accepted
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ูƒุงู† ูƒู„ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ูŠุชุนู„ู‚ู ุจูŠ ูˆุญุฏูŠุŒ ูˆุดูˆู‚ูŠ ู„ุฃู† ุฃูƒูˆู† ู…ู‚ุจูˆู„ู‹ุง
18:04
and to play a role that was never meant for me.
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ูˆู„ุฃู† ุฃู„ุนุจ ุฏูˆุฑู‹ุง ู„ู… ุฃูƒู† ุฃุฎุทุท ู„ู‡ ุฃุจุฏู‹ุง.
18:07
So while my dad may have not taught me how to use my hands,
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ูุจูŠู†ู…ุง ู„ู… ูŠุนู„ู…ู†ูŠ ูˆุงู„ุฏูŠ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ูŠุฏูŠู‘ุŒ
18:11
he did teach me how to use my heart,
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ุนู„ู…ู†ูŠ ูƒูŠู ุฃุณุชุฎุฏู…ู ู‚ู„ุจูŠุŒ
18:14
and to me that makes him more a man than anything.
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ูˆุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ุฌุนู„ู‡ ู‡ุฐุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู† ุฃูŠ ุดูŠุก ุฑุฌู„ู‹ุง.
18:17
Thank you.
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ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ู„ูƒู….
18:19
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
ุญูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน

ุณูŠู‚ุฏู… ู„ูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ YouTube ุงู„ู…ููŠุฏุฉ ู„ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ. ุณุชุฑู‰ ุฏุฑูˆุณ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชู… ุชุฏุฑูŠุณู‡ุง ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ู…ุฏุฑุณูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฏุฑุฌุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰ ู…ู† ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู†ุญุงุก ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…. ุงู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุนุฑูˆุถุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒู„ ุตูุญุฉ ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู…ู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ. ูŠุชู… ุชู…ุฑูŠุฑ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุงุช ุจุงู„ุชุฒุงู…ู† ู…ุน ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ. ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุช ุฃูˆ ุทู„ุจุงุช ุŒ ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ุจู†ุง ุจุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ู†ู…ูˆุฐุฌ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ู‡ุฐุง.

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