Why I'm done trying to be "man enough" | Justin Baldoni

Prevoditelj: Mira Lenžer Newbould Recezent: Sanda L

As an actor, I get scripts

Kao glumac, dobijem scenarije

and it's my job to stay on script,

i moje je da ih se pridržavam,

to say my lines

da izgovaram svoj tekst

and bring to life a character that someone else wrote.

i oživljavam lik kojeg je netko drugi napisao.

Over the course of my career,

U svojoj karijeri

I've had the great honor

imao sam veliku čast

playing some of the greatest male role models ever

odigrati neke od najvećih muških uloga

represented on television.

ikad prikazanih na televiziji.

You might recognize me as "Male Escort #1."

Možda me prepoznajete kao "Muškog pratitelja br.1".

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

"Photographer Date Rapist,"

"Fotografa silovatelja",

"Shirtless Date Rapist"

"Silovatelja bez majice",

from the award-winning "Spring Break Shark Attack."

iz nagrađivanog filma "Spring Break Shark Attack" (2005).

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

"Shirtless Medical Student,"

"Student medicine bez majice",

"Shirtless Steroid-Using Con Man"

"Prevarant na steroidima bez majice",

and, in my most well-known role, as Rafael.

i, moja najpoznatija uloga, Rafael.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

A brooding, reformed playboy

Zamišljeni, reformirani playboy

who falls for, of all things, a virgin,

koji padne na, zamislite, djevicu

and who is only occasionally shirtless.

i koji samo povremeno nema majicu.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Now, these roles don't represent the kind of man I am in my real life,

Ove me uloge ne predstavljaju onakvog kakav sam u stvarnom životu,

but that's what I love about acting.

ali upravo to i volim kod glume.

I get to live inside characters very different than myself.

Imam priliku živjeti u likovima različitima od mene samog.

But every time I got one of these roles, I was surprised,

No, svaki put kad bih dobio takvu ulogu, ostao bih iznenađen,

because most of the men I play ooze machismo,

jer većina muškaraca koje glumim zrači muževnošću,

charisma and power,

karizmom i snagom,

and when I look in the mirror, that's just not how I see myself.

a kad se pogledam u zrcalo, sebe ne doživljavam tako.

But it was how Hollywood saw me,

No, tako me je doživio Hollywood,

and over time, I noticed a parallel

a s vremenom sam primijetio paralelu

between the roles I would play as a man

među ulogama muškaraca koje sam glumio,

both on-screen and off.

na ekranu i u stvarnom životu.

I've been pretending to be a man that I'm not my entire life.

Cijeli život pravio sam se da sam netko tko nisam.

I've been pretending to be strong when I felt weak,

Hinio sam da sam snažan kada sam bio ranjiv,

confident when I felt insecure

da sam siguran u sebe, kada to nisam bio,

and tough when really I was hurting.

i da sam jak kada sam, zapravo, patio.

I think for the most part I've just been kind of putting on a show,

Mislim da sam se uglavnom pretvarao,

but I'm tired of performing.

ali umoran sam od glumatanja.

And I can tell you right now

I mogu vam reći

that it is exhausting trying to be man enough for everyone all the time.

da je iscrpljujuće pokušavati stalno i sve muški podnositi.

Now -- right?

Nije li tako?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

My brother heard that.

Moj brat je to čuo.

Now, for as long as I can remember, I've been told

Otkad pamtim za sebe, govorili su mi

the kind of man that I should grow up to be.

kakav čovjek moram postati.

As a boy, all I wanted was to be accepted and liked by the other boys,

Kao dijete, samo sam želio da me ostali dječaci prihvate i vole,

but that acceptance meant I had to acquire

ali to je podrazumijevalo

this almost disgusted view of the feminine,

da mi se ženstvenost gotovo mora gaditi,

and since we were told that feminine is the opposite of masculine,

a kako su nas učili da je ženstveno obrnuto od muževnog,

I either had to reject embodying any of these qualities

morao sam ili odbiti utjelovljenje oba svojstva,

or face rejection myself.

ili biti odbijen od drugih.

This is the script that we've been given.

Svi smo dobili ovaj isti scenarij.

Right? Girls are weak, and boys are strong.

Nije li tako? Cure su slabe, dečki su snažni.

This is what's being subconsciously communicated

Ta se poruka podsvjesno šalje

to hundreds of millions of young boys and girls all over the world,

stotinama milijuna dječaka i djevojčica diljem svijeta,

just like it was with me.

kao što je poslana meni.

Well, I came here today to say, as a man

E pa, danas sam, kao muškarac, došao reći

that this is wrong, this is toxic,

da je to pogrešno, toksično,

and it has to end.

i da mora prestati.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Now, I'm not here to give a history lesson.

Nisam ovdje da držim predavanja o povijesti.

We likely all know how we got here, OK?

Svi vjerojatno znamo kako smo ovamo dospjeli, je li tako?

But I'm just a guy that woke up after 30 years and realized

Ja sam samo tip koji se probudio nakon 30 godina i shvatio

that I was living in a state of conflict,

da sam živio u stanju sukoba,

conflict with who I feel I am in my core

između onoga što osjećam da u suštini jesam

and conflict with who the world tells me as a man I should be.

i onoga kakav bih trebao biti prema očekivanjima drugih.

But I don't have a desire

No, nije mi želja

to fit into the current broken definition of masculinity,

uklopiti se u trenutačnu razbijenu definiciju muževnosti,

because I don't just want to be a good man.

jer ja ne želim biti samo dobar muškarac.

I want to be a good human.

Želim biti dobar čovjek.

And I believe the only way that can happen

I vjerujem da se to može dogoditi samo ako

is if men learn to not only embrace the qualities

muškarci nauče ne samo prihvaćati svoje kvalitete

that we were told are feminine in ourselves

za koje su nam tvrdili da su ženstvene,

but to be willing to stand up,

već i da budu spremni zauzeti se,

to champion and learn from the women who embody them.

boriti se i učiti od žena koje ih utjelovljuju.

Now, men --

E sada, muškarci --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I am not saying that everything we have learned is toxic. OK?

Ne kažem da je sve što smo naučili toksično, ok?

I'm not saying there's anything inherently wrong with you or me,

Ne kažem da nešto suštinski ne valja s vama ili sa mnom

and men, I'm not saying we have to stop being men.

i ne govorim muškarcima da to više ne budu.

But we need balance, right?

No, treba nam ravnoteža, nije li tako?

We need balance,

Treba nam ravnoteža,

and the only way things will change is if we take a real honest look

a jedini način da se stvari promjene jest da iskreno proučimo

at the scripts that have been passed down to us

tekst koji su nam proslijedili

from generation to generation

iz naraštaja u naraštaj

and the roles that, as men, we choose to take on

i uloge koje smo kao muškarci sami odabirali

in our everyday lives.

za svoju svakodnevicu.

So speaking of scripts,

Kada govorimo o scenariju,

the first script I ever got came from my dad.

prvi sam dobio od svog oca.

My dad is awesome.

Moj je otac fenomenalan.

He's loving, he's kind, he's sensitive, he's nurturing,

Pun je ljubavi, ljubazan, osjetljiv i pažljiv,

he's here.

prisutan je.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

He's crying.

Plače.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

But, sorry, Dad, as a kid I resented him for it,

Oprosti, tata, ali kao dijete to sam mu zamjerao,

because I blamed him for making me soft,

krivio sam ga što me učinio preblagim,

which wasn't welcomed in the small town in Oregon

a to se nije prihvaćalo u gradiću u Oregonu

that we had moved to.

u koji smo preselili.

Because being soft meant that I was bullied.

Jer biti blag značilo je da će te maltretirati.

See, my dad wasn't traditionally masculine,

Vidite, moj tata nije bio tradicionalno muževan,

so he didn't teach me how to use my hands.

pa me nije podučio kako se tući.

He didn't teach me how to hunt, how to fight,

Nije me naučio kako loviti, boriti se,

you know, man stuff.

znate već, te muške stvari.

Instead he taught me what he knew:

Umjesto toga, naučio me ono što je znao:

that being a man was about sacrifice

da je biti muškarac značilo i podnositi žrtve

and doing whatever you can

i činiti sve u vašoj moći

to take care of and provide for your family.

kako biste se pobrinuli za svoju obitelj.

But there was another role I learned how to play from my dad,

No, od svojeg sam tate naučio još jednu ulogu,

who, I discovered, learned it from his dad,

koju je on, kako sam otkrio, naučio od svog tate,

a state senator

državnog senatora

who later in life

koji je u poodmakloj dobi

had to work nights as a janitor to support his family,

morao raditi kao domar noću, kako bi priskrbio za svoju obitelj,

and he never told a soul.

a to nikad nikome nije rekao.

That role was to suffer in secret.

Tu je ulogu u tišini otrpio.

And now three generations later,

I sada, gotovo tri naraštaja kasnije,

I find myself playing that role, too.

i ja igram istu ulogu.

So why couldn't my grandfather just reach out to another man

Zašto moj djed nije jednostavno potražio

and ask for help?

pomoć od drugog muškarca?

Why does my dad to this day still think he's got to do it all on his own?

Zašto moj otac i dan danas smatra da sve mora činiti sam?

I know a man who would rather die

Znam čovjeka koji bi radije umro

than tell another man that they're hurting.

nego drugom muškarcu priznao da pati.

But it's not because we're just all, like, strong silent types.

Ali ne zato što smo svi snažni, tihi tipovi.

It's not. A lot of us men are really good at making friends, and talking,

Ne. Mnogi su među nama dobri u sklapanju prijateljstava, razgovoru,

just not about anything real.

samo ne o nečemu stvarnome.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

If it's about work or sports or politics or women,

Ako se radi o poslu ili sportu, politici ili ženama,

we have no problem sharing our opinions,

bez problema reći ćemo što mislimo,

but if it's about our insecurities or our struggles,

ali ako se radi o našim nesigurnostima ili borbama,

our fear of failure,

strahu od neuspjeha,

then it's almost like we become paralyzed.

gotovo da smo paralizirani.

At least, I do.

Barem je to slučaj sa mnom.

So some of the ways that I have been practicing

Pokušao sam uvježbati

breaking free of this behavior

oslobađanje od takvog ponašanja

are by creating experiences that force me to be vulnerable.

tako da stvorim iskustva koja me čine ranjivim.

So if there's something I'm experiencing shame around in my life,

Pa tako, ako se nečega u svom životu sramim,

I practice diving straight into it,

vježbam kako se upustiti ravno u to,

no matter how scary it is --

ma koliko to bilo strašno,

and sometimes, even publicly.

a ponekad to činim čak i javno.

Because then in doing so

Na taj način,

I take away its power,

oduzmem tomu moć

and my display of vulnerability

i moja otkrivena ranjivost

can in some cases give other men permission to do the same.

može ponukati i druge muškarce da učine isto.

As an example, a little while ago

Primjera radi,

I was wrestling with an issue in my life

nedavno sam se borio s nečim o čemu sam znao

that I knew I needed to talk to my guy friends about,

da moram razgovarati sa svojim muškim prijateljima,

but I was so paralyzed by fear

ali toliko me paralizirao strah

that they would judge me and see me as weak

da će me osuđivati i doživljavati kao slabića,

and I would lose my standing as a leader

te da ću izgubiti svoj položaj vođe,

that I knew I had to take them out of town on a three-day guys trip --

da sam znao da ih moram odvesti na trodnevni muški izlet --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Just to open up. And guess what?

samo da otvorim dušu. I znate što?

It wasn't until the end of the third day

Tek sam potkraj trećeg dana

that I finally found the strength to talk to them

konačno smogao hrabrosti razgovarati s njima

about what I was going through.

o tome što sam proživljavao.

But when I did, something amazing happened.

No, jednom kad jesam, zbilo se nešto divno.

I realized that I wasn't alone,

Shvatio sam da nisam sâm,

because my guys had also been struggling.

jer i moje je dečke to isto mučilo.

And as soon as I found the strength and the courage to share my shame,

I čim sam smogao snage i hrabrosti da podijelim svoj sram,

it was gone.

on je nestao.

Now, I've learned over time

S vremenom sam naučio

that if I want to practice vulnerability,

da si, ako želim vježbati ranjivost,

then I need to build myself a system of accountability.

moram izgraditi sustav odgovornosti.

So I've been really blessed as an actor.

Kao glumac bio sam blagoslovljen.

I've built a really wonderful fan base,

Izgradio sam si divnu bazu obožavatelja,

really, really sweet and engaged,

koji su doista dragi i aktivni

and so I decided to use my social platform

i odlučio sam svoju društvenu platformu iskoristiti

as kind of this Trojan horse

kao neku vrstu trojanskog konja

wherein I could create a daily practice of authenticity and vulnerability.

u kojem mogu svakodnevno vježbati autentičnost i ranjivost.

The response has been incredible.

Reakcije su bile nevjerojatne.

It's been affirming, it's been heartwarming.

Pune odobravanja, topline.

I get tons of love and press and positive messages daily.

Svakodnevno primam na tone ljubavi, publiciteta i pozitivnih poruka.

But it's all from a certain demographic:

No, sve to dolazi iz jedne demografske skupine:

women.

žene.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

This is real.

Istina je.

Why are only women following me?

Zašto me prate samo žene?

Where are the men?

Gdje su muškarci?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

About a year ago, I posted this photo.

Prije otprilike godine dana objavio sam ovu sliku.

Now, afterwards, I was scrolling through some of the comments,

Kasnije sam pregledavao neke od komentara

and I noticed that one of my female fans had tagged her boyfriend in the picture,

i primijetio da je jedna od obožavateljica na slici označila svog dečka,

and her boyfriend responded by saying,

a ovaj je odgovorio:

"Please stop tagging me in gay shit.

"Molim te, prestani me označivati na gay sranjima.

Thx."

Hvala."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

As if being gay makes you less of a man, right?

Kao da te činjenica da si gay čini manje muškarcem.

So I took a deep breath,

Duboko sam udahnnuo

and I responded.

i odgovorio.

I said,

Napisao sam,

very politely, that I was just curious,

vrlo ljubazno, da me zanima,

because I'm on an exploration of masculinity,

budući da istražujem muževnost,

and I wanted to know why my love for my wife

na koji način se ljubav prema mojoj supruzi

qualified as gay shit.

može kvalificirati kao gay sranje.

And then I said, honestly I just wanted to learn.

I dodao - doista, samo želim saznati.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Now, he immediately wrote me back.

Odmah mi je odgovorio.

I thought he was going to go off on me, but instead he apologized.

Očekivao sam da će me napasti, no, on se ispričao.

He told me how, growing up,

Rekao mi je da se, dok je odrastao,

public displays of affection were looked down on.

na javne izljeve nježnosti nije gledalo blagonaklono.

He told me that he was wrestling and struggling with his ego,

Rekao je da se bori sa svojim egom

and how much he loved his girlfriend

te koliko voli svoju djevojku

and how thankful he was for her patience.

i koliko je zahvalan na njezinoj strpljivosti.

And then a few weeks later,

A nekoliko tjedana kasnije,

he messaged me again.

ponovno mi je pisao.

This time he sent me a photo

Ovoga je puta poslao fotografiju,

of him on one knee proposing.

sebe, na koljenu, dok prosi svoju djevojku.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

And all he said was, "Thank you."

I napisao je samo "Hvala ti."

I've been this guy.

I ja sam bio taj tip.

I get it.

Jasno mi je.

See, publicly, he was just playing his role,

U javnosti, on je samo igrao svoju ulogu,

rejecting the feminine, right?

odbijao sve što je ženstveno, ok?

But secretly he was waiting for permission to express himself,

No, potajno je čekao dozvolu da se izrazi,

to be seen, to be heard,

da ga vide i čuju

and all he needed was another man

i trebao mu je samo neki drugi muškarac

holding him accountable and creating a safe space for him to feel,

koji bi ga držao odgovornim i stvorio siguran prostor za osjećaje,

and the transformation was instant.

i preobržaj je bio trenutačan.

I loved this experience,

Jako mi se svidjelo to iskustvo,

because it showed me that transformation is possible,

jer mi je pokazalo da je preobražaj moguć,

čak i preko izravnih poruka.

even over direct messages.

So I wanted to figure out how I could reach more men,

Stoga sam želio vidjeti kako doprijeti do još muškaraca,

but of course none of them were following me.

no, jasno, nijedan me nije pratio.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So I tried an experiment.

Stoga sam proveo eksperiment.

I started posting more stereotypically masculine things --

Počeo sam objavljivati stereotipne muške stvari --

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Like my challenging workouts, my meal plans,

npr. svoje izazovne tjelovježbe, planove obroka,

my journey to heal my body after an injury.

svoj put do ozdravljenja tijela nakon povrede.

And guess what happened?

Pogodite što se dogodilo?

Men started to write me.

Muškarci su mi počeli pisati.

And then, out of the blue, for the first time in my entire career,

I tada, neočekivano, po prvi puta u mojoj karijeri,

a male fitness magazine called me,

nazvali su me iz muškog fitness časopisa,

and they said they wanted to honor me as one of their game-changers.

i rekli da mi žele odati počast kao revolucionaru.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Was that really game-changing?

Je li to doista bilo revolucionarno?

Or is it just conforming?

Ili se radilo samo o konformizmu?

And see, that's the problem.

I, vidite, upravo je tu problem.

It's totally cool for men to follow me

Za muškarce je skroz ok pratiti me

when I talk about guy stuff

dok govorim o muškim stvarima

and I conform to gender norms.

i poštujem rodne norme.

But if I talk about how much I love my wife

No, čim počnem govoriti o ljubavi prema svojoj supruzi,

or my daughter or my 10-day-old son,

ili kćerci, ili pak sinu kojem je tek 10 dana,

how I believe that marriage is challenging but beautiful,

o tome kako vjerujem da je brak izazovan, ali i divan,

or how as a man I struggle with body dysmorphia,

ili kako se, kao muškarac, borim s dismorfijom tijela,

or if I promote gender equality, then only the women show up.

ili promičem ravnopravnost spolova, javljaju se samo žene.

Where are the men?

Gdje su muškarci?

So men, men, men,

Dakle, muškarci, muškarci,

men!

muškarci!

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

I understand.

Razumijem.

Growing up, we tend to challenge each other.

Dok odrastamo, stalno se međusobno izazivamo.

We've got to be the toughest,

Moramo biti najjači,

the strongest, the bravest men that we can be.

najsnažniji i najhrabriji mogući muškarci.

And for many of us, myself included, our identities are wrapped up

I za mnoge od nas, uključujući i mene, naši identiteti ovise o tome

in whether or not at the end of the day we feel like we're man enough.

osjećamo li se na kraju dana dovoljno muškarcima.

But I've got a challenge for all the guys,

No, imam za sve dečke izazov,

because men love challenges.

jer dečki vole izazove.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I challenge you to see if you can use the same qualities

Izazivam vas da vidite možete li iste kvalitete

that you feel make you a man

zbog kojih se osjećate muškarcima,

to go deeper into yourself.

iskoristiti za dublje otkrivanje sebe.

Your strength, your bravery, your toughness:

Vaša snaga, hrabrost, otpornost:

Can we redefine what those mean and use them to explore our hearts?

možemo li redefinirati što one znače i istražiti njima svoja srca?

Are you brave enough

Jeste li dovoljno hrabri

to be vulnerable?

da budete ranjivi?

To reach out to another man when you need help?

Da pomoć potražite od drugog muškarca?

To dive headfirst into your shame?

Da uronite ravno u svoj sram?

Are you strong enough to be sensitive,

Jeste li dovoljno hrabri da budete osjetljivi,

to cry whether you are hurting

da plačete kada vas boli,

or you're happy,

ili kada ste sretni,

even if it makes you look weak?

čak i ako se zbog toga doimate slabima?

Are you confident enough

Jeste li dovoljno sigurni u sebe

to listen to the women in your life?

da slušate žene u vašem životu?

To hear their ideas and their solutions?

Da čujete njihove ideje i rješenja?

To hold their anguish

Da suzbijete njihovu tjeskobu

and actually believe them,

i vjerujete im,

even if what they're saying is against you?

čak i kada je ono što govore protiv vas?

And will you be man enough

I hoćete li biti dovoljno muški

to stand up to other men when you hear "locker room talk,"

da se suprotstavite drugim muškarcima kad čujete "razgovore iz svlačionice",

when you hear stories of sexual harassment?

kad čujete priče o seksualnom zlostavljanju?

When you hear your boys talking about grabbing ass or getting her drunk,

Kad čujete svoje dečke da se hvale jer su neku zgrabili za dupe ili napili,

will you actually stand up and do something

hoćete li ustati i učiniti nešto

so that one day we don't have to live in a world

da jednog dana doživimo i svijet

where a woman has to risk everything

u kojemu žena ne mora sve riskirati

and come forward to say the words "me too?"

i izložiti se, riječima "i ja"?

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

This is serious stuff.

Ovo su ozbiljne stvari.

I've had to take a real, honest look

Morao sam dobro i iskreno promotriti

at the ways that I've unconsciously been hurting the women in my life,

načine kojima sam podsvjesno naudio ženama u svom životu,

and it's ugly.

i to ne izgleda lijepo.

My wife told me that I had been acting in a certain way that hurt her

Supruga mi je rekla da sam radio nešto što ju je boljelo,

and not correcting it.

a da to nisam ispravljao.

Basically, sometimes when she would go to speak,

Praktički bih je, svaki put kad bi ona govorila,

at home or in public,

kod kuće ili u javnosti,

I would just cut her off mid-sentence and finish her thought for her.

prekinuo usred rečenice i završio misao umjesto nje.

It's awful.

To je grozno.

The worst part was that I was completely unaware when I was doing it.

A najgore je to da nisam toga uopće bio svjestan.

It was unconscious.

Bilo je to nesvjesno.

So here I am doing my part,

Dakle, s jedne strane, igram svoju ulogu,

trying to be a feminist,

pokušavam biti feminist,

amplifying the voices of women around the world,

dati glasove ženama u svijetu,

and yet at home,

a s druge strane, kod kuće,

I am using my louder voice to silence the woman I love the most.

koristim svoj glasniji glas da utišam ženu koju najviše volim.

So I had to ask myself a tough question:

Pa sam se morao upitati teško pitanje:

am I man enough

jesam li dovoljno muško

to just shut the hell up and listen?

da jednostavno umuknem i saslušam?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

I've got to be honest. I wish that didn't get an applause.

Moram biti iskren. Volio bih da tu niste pljeskali.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Guys,

Dečki,

this is real.

ovo je stvarno.

And I'm just scratching the surface here,

I samo sam zagrebao ispod površine,

because the deeper we go, the uglier it gets, I guarantee you.

jer što dublje idemo, postaje gadnije, to vam jamčim.

I don't have time to get into porn and violence against women

Nemam vremena govoriti o pornografiji ili nasilju nad ženama,

or the split of domestic duties

ili o podjeli kućanskih obveza,

or the gender pay gap.

kao ni o nejednakim plaćama među spolovima.

But I believe that as men,

No, vjerujem da je vrijeme

it's time we start to see past our privilege

da mi, muškarci, gledamo dalje od svojeg privilegija

and recognize that we are not just part of the problem.

i priznamo da nismo samo dio problema.

Fellas, we are the problem.

Momci, mi jesmo taj problem.

The glass ceiling exists because we put it there,

Stakleni strop postoji jer smo ga mi tamo postavili,

and if we want to be a part of the solution,

i ako želimo biti dio rješenja,

then words are no longer enough.

riječi više nisu dovoljne.

There's a quote that I love that I grew up with from the Bahá'í writings.

Volim jedan citat iz Bahá'í spisa uz koji sam odrastao.

It says that "the world of humanity is possessed of two wings,

Kaže da "svijet čovječanstva ima dva krila,

the male and the female.

muško i žensko krilo.

So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength,

Sve dok oba krila nisu jednako snažna,

the bird will not fly."

ptica ne može poletjeti."

So women,

Stoga, žene,

on behalf of men all over the world

u ime muškaraca cijeloga svijeta,

who feel similar to me,

koji su meni slični,

please forgive us

molim vas oprostite nam

for all the ways that we have not relied on your strength.

za svaki put kada se nismo oslonili na vašu snagu.

And now I would like to ask you to formally help us,

I sad bih vas službeno zamolio da nam pomognete,

because we cannot do this alone.

jer ovo ne možemo sami.

We are men. We're going to mess up.

Muškarci smo. Zabrljat ćemo.

We're going to say the wrong thing. We're going to be tone-deaf.

Reći ćemo nešto pogrešno, nećemo saslušati.

We're more than likely, probably, going to offend you.

Najvjerojatnije ćemo vas i uvrijediti.

But don't lose hope.

Ali, ne gubite nadu.

We're only here because of you,

Ovdje smo samo zbog vas

and like you, as men, we need to stand up and become your allies

i poput vas, mi moramo ustati i postati vaši saveznici

as you fight against

u borbi protiv

pretty much everything.

gotovo svega.

We need your help in celebrating our vulnerability

Treba nam vaša pomoć da odamo počast našoj ranjivosti.

and being patient with us

Imajte strpljenja s nama

as we make this very, very long journey

na ovom vrlo dugom putovanju

from our heads to our hearts.

od naših glava do naših srca.

And finally to parents:

I konačno, poruka roditeljima:

instead of teaching our children

umjesto da svoju djecu učimo

to be brave boys or pretty girls,

da budu hrabri dječaci i lijepe curice,

can we maybe just teach them how to be good humans?

nije li bolje učiti ih da budu dobri ljudi?

So back to my dad.

Vratimo se na mog tatu.

Growing up, yeah, like every boy, I had my fair share of issues,

Kao i svaki dječak, odrastajući, borio sam se s nizom problema.

but now I realize that it was even thanks to his sensitivity

No, sad shvaćam da trebam zahvaliti i njegovoj osjećajnosti

and emotional intelligence

i emocionalnoj inteligenciji,

that I am able to stand here right now talking to you in the first place.

što danas govorim ovdje, pred vama.

The resentment I had for my dad I now realize had nothing to do with him.

Shvaćam da moja netrpeljivost prema njemu nije imala veze s njim,

It had everything to do with me and my longing to be accepted

već sa mnom i mojom željom da me se prihvati

and to play a role that was never meant for me.

i da igram ulogu koja nije meni namijenjena.

So while my dad may have not taught me how to use my hands,

I dok me tata možda nije naučio kako da koristim šake,

he did teach me how to use my heart,

naučio me kako da koristim svoje srce,

and to me that makes him more a man than anything.

i to ga u mojim očima čini većim muškarcem od bilo čega drugoga.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)