Roger Ebert: Remaking my voice

譯者: Cindy Yang 審譯者: Jenny Yang

Roger Ebert: These are my words, but this is not my voice.

下面的話是我說的，但卻不是我的聲音

This is Alex, the best computer voice

聲音的名字叫 Alex，是我能找到的

I've been able to find,

最好的電腦發音，

which comes as standard equipment on every Macintosh.

每台蘋果電腦上都有的基本功能

For most of my life,

我的前半生，

I never gave a second thought to my ability to speak.

從未擔心過自己說話的能力，

It was like breathing.

說話就像呼吸一樣自然。

In those days, I was living in a fool's paradise.

那些日子裡，我無憂無慮。

After surgeries for cancer

抗癌治療後，

took away my ability to speak, eat or drink,

我失去了講話、咀嚼和喝水的能力。

I was forced to enter this virtual world

我被迫進入了

in which a computer does some of my living for me.

電腦發音的虛擬世界。

For several days now,

幾天來﹐ 在TED，

we have enjoyed brilliant and articulate speakers here at TED.

我們聆聽那些精彩的、抑揚頓挫的演講。

I used to be able to talk like that.

曾經，我也可以那樣演講。

Maybe I wasn't as smart,

就算我沒那麼聰敏，

but I was at least as talkative.

但也算侃侃而談。

I want to devote my talk today

我多麼想用自己的聲音

to the act of speaking itself,

來做今天的演講，

and how the act of speaking or not speaking

然而，講與不能講，

is tied so indelibly to one's identity

是兩種極不同的身份，

as to force the birth of a new person

當你不能發出聲音，

when it is taken away.

你被強迫變成另一個人。

However, I've found that listening to a computer voice

而我覺得聆聽電腦發音，

for any great length of time

不論長短，

can be monotonous.

都很單調。

So I've decided to recruit some of my TED friends

所以我邀請一些我在TED的朋友，

to read my words aloud for me.

來口述我所想說的話。

I will start with my wife, Chaz.

先由我太太Chaz開始。

Chaz Ebert: It was Chaz who stood by my side

Chaz Ebert：“在我三次重建下巴，

through three attempts to reconstruct my jaw

和重建談話能力的期間，

and restore my ability to speak.

都是 Chaz 陪在我身旁。

Going into the first surgery

我的第一次手術，

for a recurrence of salivary cancer

是唾液腺癌復發時，

in 2006,

當時是2006，

I expected to be out of the hospital

當時電視台在等我出院

in time to return to my movie review show,

回去主持我的影評節目

'Ebert and Roeper at the Movies.'

‘艾伯特和羅特論電影’

I had pre-taped enough shows

為了應付我為期六週的手術，

to get me through six weeks of surgery

和之後的恢復期，

and recuperation.

已經預先錄了六週的節目。

The doctors took a fibula bone from my leg

醫生從我腿上取走了一塊腓骨，

and some tissue from my shoulder

從我肩膀裡取走了一些組織，

to fashion into a new jaw.

來重建我的下巴。

My tongue, larynx and vocal cords

我的舌頭，喉嚨和聲帶，

were still healthy and unaffected.

不受影響，仍然健康。

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

CE: I was optimistic,

當時我很樂觀，

and all was right with the world.

覺得一切都好。

The first surgery was a great success.

第一次手術很成功。

I saw myself in the mirror

我看看鏡子裡的自己，

and I looked pretty good.

看上去還不錯。

Two weeks later, I was ready to return home.

兩周後，我準備回家時，

I was using my iPod

我用我的iPod，

to play the Leonard Cohen song

播放了Leonard Cohen的一首歌，

'I'm Your Man'

叫“我是你的男人”，

for my doctors and nurses.

放給我的醫生和護士聽。

Suddenly, I had an episode of catastrophic bleeding.

突然我開始大出血

My carotid artery had ruptured.

我的頸動脈爆裂了。

Thank God I was still in my hospital room

謝天謝地，當時我還在醫院房間，

and my doctors were right there.

我的醫生都還在，

Chaz told me

太太Chaz告訴我，

that if that song hadn't played for so long,

要不是那首歌播的時間夠久，

I might have already been in the car, on the way home,

我可能已經在回家的車上，

and would have died right there and then.

當場就把命丟了。

So thank you, Leonard Cohen,

唉，謝謝 Leonard Cohen，

for saving my life.

謝謝你救了我的命啊。

(Applause)

（觀眾鼓掌）

There was a second surgery --

再來是第二次手術，

which held up for five or six days

持續了五六天

and then it also fell apart.

但後來還是失敗了。

And then a third attempt,

第三次手術，

which also patched me back together pretty well,

嘗試將我下巴修復，

until it failed.

但仍以失敗告終。

A doctor from Brazil said

一個來自巴西的醫生說

he had never seen anyone survive

他從沒見過我這種

a carotid artery rupture.

頸動脈爆裂還活下來的人。

And before I left the hospital,

我在醫院整整待了一年

after a year of being hospitalized,

才出院

I had seven ruptures

總共經歷過7次

of my carotid artery.

頸動脈爆裂。

There was no particular day

再也沒有

when anyone told me

任何人告訴我

I would never speak again;

我能重新講話；

it just sort of became obvious.

因為大家都看得出是怎麼回事。

Human speech

人類的聲音

is an ingenious manipulation of our breath

是由精密控制口腔

within the sound chamber of our mouth

和呼吸系統裡的呼吸

and respiratory system.

而發出的。

We need to be able to hold and manipulate that breath

講話時，我們需要控制呼吸

in order to form sounds.

從而發聲。

Therefore, the system

因而，發聲系統

must be essentially airtight

必須緊密

in order to capture air.

才能控制空氣。

Because I had lost my jaw,

而我失去了下顎，

I could no longer form a seal,

我的口腔漏氣，

and therefore my tongue

因此我的舌頭

and all of my other vocal equipment

以及其他的發聲器官

was rendered powerless.

都無力回天。

Dean Ornish: At first for a long time,

Dean Ornish: "有挺長的一段時間，

I wrote messages in notebooks.

我只能在本子上寫話。

Then I tried typing words on my laptop

後來我試著在手提電腦上打字

and using its built in voice.

讓電腦裡的發音軟體來念。

This was faster,

這快多了，

and nobody had to try to read my handwriting.

別人也不用再嘗試閱讀我的筆跡了。

I tried out various computer voices that were available online,

我試遍了所有網上的電腦發音軟體，

and for several months I had a British accent,

有段時間用的是英式發音的，

which Chaz called Sir Lawrence."

Chaz尊稱它Lawrence先生。

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

"It was the clearest I could find.

那是當時最清楚的一款發音了。

Then Apple released the Alex voice,

隨後，蘋果發佈了Alex版發音軟體，

which was the best I'd heard.

是我認為效果最好的一款

It knew things like the difference

Alex知道

between an exclamation point and a question mark.

驚歎號和問號的句子讀出來不一樣。

When it saw a period, it knew how to make a sentence

看到句號時，它知道怎麼斷句

sound like it was ending instead of staying up in the air.

讀出來的聲音就是降調的而不是繼續懸在空中。

There are all sorts of html codes you can use

有各種HTML編碼

to control the timing and inflection of computer voices,

用來管理電腦發聲的時間和音調，

and I've experimented with them.

那些我都試過。

For me, they share a fundamental problem: they're too slow.

但是對我來說，他們的共同問題是太慢了。

When I find myself in a conversational situation,

比如我在跟人交流時，

I need to type fast and to jump right in.

我就得打字飛快反應迅速。

People don't have the time or the patience

但是別人沒時間或者耐心

to wait for me to fool around with the codes

等著我和那些代碼玩

for every word or phrase.

每個字每句話都得那樣

But what value do we place on the sound of our own voice?

但是我們自己的聲音價值何在呢？

How does that affect who you are as a person?

它對我們的形象有什麽影響？

When people hear Alex speaking my words,

每次人們聽到電腦Alex替我說話時，

do they experience a disconnect?

他們會不會覺得很遙遠生硬？

Does that create a separation or a distance

會不會因此讓我

from one person to the next?

和人們產生距離或隔閡？

How did I feel not being able to speak?

不能講話的感受是怎樣的？

I felt, and I still feel,

我能一直感覺到，

a lot of distance from the human mainstream.

跟人群、社會脫節。

I've become uncomfortable when I'm separated from my laptop.

一離開我的手提電腦我就不自在。

Even then, I'm aware that most people have little patience

即使那樣，我也能感覺到人們對我講話障礙

for my speaking difficulties.

沒啥耐心

So Chaz suggested finding a company that could make a customized voice

之後我的太太Chaz建議最好能找一家公司給我量身打造我的聲音

using my TV show voice

從30年來

from a period of 30 years.

我做的節目裡選我的聲音。

At first I was against it.

最開始我反對。

I thought it would be creepy

我覺得會害怕

to hear my own voice coming from a computer.

聽到自己的聲音從電腦裡出來。

There was something comforting about a voice that was not my own.

我還是習慣電腦發出的聲音不是我自己的。

But I decided then to just give it a try.

但最後我還是決定試試。

So we contacted a company in Scotland

於是我們聯絡了一家在蘇格蘭的公司

that created personalized computer voices.

他們的專業是個人化電腦發音。

They'd never made one from previously-recorded materials.

他們從來沒有從錄製資料裡提取過語音。

All of their voices had been made by a speaker

他們所用的一般都是

recording original words in a control booth.

直接在他們的錄音室錄製的談話。

But they were willing to give it a try.

但他們決定一試。

So I sent them many hours of recordings of my voice,

於是我把以前我節目裡的的聲音發給他們，

including several audio commentary tracks

包括一些電影DVD

that I'd made for movies on DVDs.

裏面的一些我的評論。

And it sounded like me, it really did.

確實聽著像我自己的聲音。

There was a reason for that; it was me.

因為那就是我啊。

But it wasn't that simple.

那是製作也沒那麼簡單。

The tapes from my TV show weren't very useful

那些來自我電視節目的資料並不好用

because there were too many other kinds of audio involved --

因為裏面夾雜太多別的聲音--

movie soundtracks, for example, or Gene Siskel arguing with me --

比如電影背景音或者Gene Siskel和我爭吵的聲音。

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

and my words often had a particular emphasis

因為有時我說一些字句時特別用力

that didn't fit into a sentence well enough.

不太適合重新組合成新句子。

I'll let you hear a sample of that voice.

我讓大家先聽聽當時製作的聲音。

These are a few of the comments I recorded for use

來自我和太太

when Chaz and I appeared on the Oprah Winfrey program.

有次參加Oprah Winfrey的節目。

And here's the voice we call Roger Jr.

下面這段聲音我叫他 羅傑初級版，

or Roger 2.0.

或者羅傑2.0版。

Roger 2.0: Oprah, I can't tell you how great it is

羅傑2.0版：Oprah，我無法形容

to be back on your show.

回到你節目有多麼棒。

We have been talking for a long time,

我們以前聊過很多，

and now here we are again.

現在又開聊啦。

This is the first version of my computer voice.

這是我電腦發音的初級版。

It still needs improvement,

還需改進，

but at least it sounds like me

但是至少聽著像我了

and not like HAL 9000.

而不是什麽HAL 9000。

When I heard it the first time,

我第一次聽的時候，

it sent chills down my spine.

一身雞皮疙瘩。

When I type anything,

我打字輸入，

this voice will speak whatever I type.

它就按我打的開始念。

When I read something, it will read in my voice.

我讀什麽，它就用我的聲音讀什麽。

I have typed these words in advance,

我把要說的提前打出來，

as I didn't think it would be thrilling

因為我覺得看一個人坐在那裡打字

to sit here watching me typing.

不是什麼令人興奮的畫面。

The voice was created by a company in Scotland

這個聲音是蘇格蘭一家公司為我定制，

named CereProc.

公司叫CereProc.

It makes me feel good

我感覺還不錯

that many of the words you are hearing were first spoken

而且很多你們現在聽到的發音都是合成的

while I was commenting on "Casablanca"

用的是我在《卡撒布蘭卡》

and "Citizen Kane."

和《大國民》的錄音。

This is the first voice they've created for an individual.

這也是他們公司第一次為專人製作聲音。

There are several very good voices available for computers,

雖然電腦發音好幾個版本都很好聽，

but they all sound like somebody else,

但是都是別人的聲音啊。

while this voice sounds like me.

只有這個是我自己的。

I plan to use it on television, radio

於是我打算在電視、廣播

and the Internet.

還有網上用。

People who need a voice should know

大家應該知道，

that most computers already come with built-in speaking systems.

很多電腦都自帶發音系統。

Many blind people use them

很多盲人也用

to read pages on the Web to themselves.

有助於他們瀏覽網頁。

But I've got to say, in first grade,

但我得說，一年级的时候

they said I talked too much,

他們抱怨我話多，

and now I still can.

我現在還是這樣。

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

Roger Ebert: As you can hear, it sounds like me,

你聽，確實聽著像我，

but the words jump up and down.

但是發音忽高忽低，

The flow isn't natural.

語調不自然。

The good people in Scotland are still improving my voice,

蘇格蘭公司的人還在改進我的聲音，

and I'm optimistic about it.

我也很樂觀。

But so far, the Apple Alex voice

但目前，蘋果的Alex發音

is the best one I've heard.

是我聽到的最好的了。

I wrote a blog about it

我發表過一篇部落格

and actually got a comment from the actor who played Alex.

給Alex語音錄製聲音的人留言給我。

He said he recorded many long hours in various intonations

他說他錄製了很久，各種語調都錄

to be used in the voice.

以備各種情況。

A very large sample is needed.

需要大量發音樣本。

John Hunter: All my life I was a motormouth.

John Hunter: "曾經的我多麼健談，

Now I have spoken my last words,

而我也不記得何時，

and I don't even remember for sure

我說出了最後一句話

what they were.

也不記得說了什麽。

I feel like the hero of that Harlan Ellison story

我感覺像Harlan Ellison故事里的主人公

titled "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream."

“我沒有嘴，卻必須喊”

On Wednesday, David Christian explained to us

週三的時候，David Christian還給我們講過

what a tiny instant the human race represents

和浩翰的宇宙相比

in the time-span of the universe.

人類文明史多麼短暫

For almost all of its millions and billions of years,

在它數百萬年﹐ 數十億年的歷史中

there was no life on Earth at all.

地球上沒有生命。

For almost all the years of life on Earth,

而在地球有生命的時間裡，

there was no intelligent life.

也沒有高等生物。

Only after we learned to pass knowledge

而當人類開始傳承知識後

from one generation to the next,

一代又一代，

did civilization become possible.

人類文明才得以發展。

In cosmological terms,

要是跟浩翰的宇宙比，

that was about 10 minutes ago.

那也不過是10分鐘之前的事。

Finally came mankind's most advanced and mysterious tool,

而現在居然誕生了人類最進步和神秘的工具，

the computer.

就是電腦。

That has mostly happened in my lifetime.

基本上是我長大後才有。

Some of the famous early computers

著名的早期電腦

were being built in my hometown of Urbana,

在我故鄉厄巴纳製造，

the birthplace of HAL 9000.

也是HAL 9000誕生之地。

When I heard the amazing talk

週三時，

by Salman Khan on Wednesday,

聽到Salman Khan的演講，

about the Khan Academy website

關於Khan學院網站

that teaches hundreds of subjects to students all over the world,

給世界各地的學生傳授各種知識

I had a flashback.

是我回憶起

It was about 1960.

在1960年的時候

As a local newspaper reporter still in high school,

當時我是一名新聞記者，仍在上高中

I was sent over to the computer lab of the University of Illinois

我去了伊利諾伊大學的電腦室

to interview the creators

進行採訪

of something called PLATO.

PLATO的開發者

The initials stood for Programmed Logic

PLATO是自動教學程式的編寫邏輯

for Automated Teaching Operations.

的縮寫

This was a computer-assisted instruction system,

是一種電腦輔助教學系統

which in those days ran on a computer named ILLIAC.

當時在ILLIAC電腦上運行。

The programmers said it could assist students in their learning.

開發者說那個系統可以協助學生學習。

I doubt, on that day 50 years ago,

我懷疑50年前的那天，

they even dreamed of what Salman Khan has accomplished.

他們想也想不到今日Salman Khan的成就。

But that's not the point.

但這不是重點

The point is PLATO was only 50 years ago,

重點是PLATO系統僅僅50年前

an instant in time.

也是很短的時間

It continued to evolve and operated in one form or another

但是PLATO就演變了好幾代

on more and more sophisticated computers,

所用電腦系統也更加的複雜

until only five years ago.

知道5年前

I have learned from Wikipedia

我從維基百科上獲知

that, starting with that humble beginning,

他們從當時簡單的起點，

PLATO established forums, message boards,

到現在已經建立自己的論壇、留言板、

online testing,

線上測試、

email, chat rooms,

郵箱和聊天室

picture languages, instant messaging,

圖片文字、即時通訊，

remote screen sharing

遠距影片分享

and multiple-player games.

多人遊戲。

Since the first Web browser was also developed in Urbana,

還有第一個網頁瀏覽器的產地也是在Urbana

it appears that my hometown

所以我的家鄉

in downstate Illinois

即伊利諾伊南部

was the birthplace

居然是各種

of much of the virtual, online universe we occupy today.

我們今天試用的網絡工具的誕生地。

But I'm not here from the Chamber of Commerce.

但我並不是代表我們商會來推銷啊。

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

I'm here as a man who wants to communicate.

我來這裡是來交流的。

All of this has happened in my lifetime.

上述這些都是發生在我有生之年

I started writing on a computer back in the 1970s

我在70年代就開始在電腦上寫字

when one of the first Atech systems was installed

那會用的還是第一代Atech系統

at the Chicago Sun-Times.

當時我在芝加哥太陽時報。

I was in line at Radio Shack

我在Radio Shack商店排隊

to buy one of the first Model 100's.

購買第一代的Model 100's。

And when I told the people in the press room at the Academy Awards

我在奧斯卡金像獎被採訪的時候，

that they'd better install some phone lines for Internet connections,

我告訴人們要裝一些電話撥號上網，

they didn't know what I was talking about.

他們都不知道我在講什麽。

When I bought my first desktop,

我買第一台桌上型電腦時，

it was a DEC Rainbow.

是一台DEC Rainbow機。

Does anybody remember that?"

還有誰記得它？

(Applause)

（觀眾鼓掌）

"The Sun Times sent me to the Cannes Film Festival

太陽時報派我去坎城電影節

with a portable computer the size of a suitcase

讓我帶著個像手提皮箱大小的“移動式”式電腦

named the Porteram Telebubble.

叫做Porteram Telebubble

I joined CompuServe

我還加入了Compuserve（美國信息服務機構）

when it had fewer numbers

當時他們的會員很少

than I currently have followers on Twitter.

還沒有我現在Twitter微博上關注我的人多呢。

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

CE: All of this has happened

太太：所有這一切

in the blink of an eye.

彷彿發生在轉瞬間。

It is unimaginable

難以想像，

what will happen next.

以後會有什麽出現。

It makes me incredibly fortunate

我非常幸運

to live at this moment in history.

可以能活在這個歷史性的時刻。

Indeed, I am lucky to live in history at all,

說真的，能活在歷史裡已經很幸運了

because without intelligence and memory

因為如果沒有智能和記憶

there is no history.

就沒有歷史。

For billions of years,

億萬年來，

the universe evolved

整個宇宙自轉運作

completely without notice.

從來沒人注意過。

Now we live in the age of the Internet,

但現在我們活在網路時代，

which seems to be creating a form of global consciousness.

全球化意識來臨

And because of it,

也因為此，

I can communicate

我可以如常

as well as I ever could.

與人交流。

We are born into a box

我們這個時代像

of time and space.

時空交叉的盒子

We use words and communication

我們用文字和交流

to break out of it

來突破它

and to reach out to others.

來接觸到其他人

For me, the Internet began

對我來說，網路開始的時候

as a useful tool

只是一種工具

and now has become something I rely on

現在卻成了生活的依賴

for my actual daily existence.

以維持我的存在

I cannot speak;

我不能講話，

I can only type so fast.

我只能飛快打字。

Computer voices

電腦發音的交流

are sometimes not very sophisticated,

有時候比較單調，

but with my computer,

但是我使用電腦，

I can communicate more widely

就可以更廣泛的與人交流

than ever before.

這在以前可沒有。

I feel as if my blog,

我的部落格

my email, Twitter and Facebook

我的電郵，推特和臉書

have given me a substitute

取代了我

for everyday conversation.

的日常對話。

They aren't an improvement,

這不算什麼進步，

but they're the best I can do.

但已經是我有的最好的了。

They give me a way to speak.

它們賦予我一種表達方式。

Not everybody has the patience

並不是每個人都和我太太 Chaz 一樣

of my wife, Chaz.

有耐心

But online,

但是在網上，

everybody speaks at the same speed.

大家書寫的速度是一樣的

This whole adventure

這些嘗試

has been a learning experience.

都是學習的過程。

Every time there was a surgery that failed,

每當我手術失敗的時候，

I was left with a little less flesh and bone.

我下巴的肉和骨頭都更少了

Now I have no jaw left at all.

現在根本就沒有下巴了

While harvesting tissue from both my shoulders,

手術移植我肩膀上的組織，

the surgeries left me with back pain

導致背痛

and reduced my ability to walk easily.

牽制了我的行走能力。

Ironic that my legs are fine,

諷刺的是我的腿還好，

and it's my shoulders that slow up my walk.

是我的肩膀使我行走困難。

When you see me today,

看看今日的我

I look like the Phantom of the Opera.

我簡直是《歌劇魅影》的主角

But no you don't.

不，你不像。

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

It is human nature to look at someone like me

當人們看到我的模樣

and assume I have lost some of my marbles.

很自然地覺得我的只能也不如往常

People --

人們...

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

People talk loudly --

人們講話大聲

I'm so sorry.

抱歉

Excuse me.

抱歉

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

People talk loudly and slowly to me.

人們把聲音放大，速度減低

Sometimes they assume I am deaf.

有時他們覺得我聾了。

There are people who don't want to make eye contact.

有些人不願意和我做目光交流

Believe me, he didn't mean this as --

相信我，他的意思不是 --

anyway, let me just read it.

不管如何，讓我念完

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

You should never let your wife read something like this.

沒有人應該讓自己的太太朗讀這種東西的。

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

It is human nature

人類的本性是

to look away from illness.

把頭在疾病面前別開

We don't enjoy a reminder

我們不喜歡有人來提醒

of our own fragile mortality.

自己隨時可能面臨死亡的事實

That's why writing on the Internet

所以在網路上寫作

has become a lifesaver for me.

成了我的救命法寶

My ability to think and write

我思考和寫作的能力

have not been affected.

並不受影響

And on the Web, my real voice finds expression.

在網路上，我真正的話語有了表達的途徑

I have also met many other disabled people

我也碰到了一些用這種方法溝通的

who communicate this way.

殘障人士

One of my Twitter friends

我在推特上有一個好友

can type only with his toes.

他只能用腳趾打字

One of the funniest blogs on the Web

網路上最搞笑的一個部落格

is written by a friend of mine

是我一個朋友寫的

named Smartass Cripple.

他叫“殘而聰明”

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

Google him and he will make you laugh.

試著Google他，他的部落格會博你一笑。

All of these people are saying, in one way or another,

這些人在各種場合都說

that what you see

眼睛所能見到的

is not all you get.

不是事物的全部。

So I have not come here to complain.

我不是來這裡抱怨的

I have much to make me happy and relieved.

我有很多讓我開心放鬆的東西

I seem, for the time being,

我似乎暫時

to be cancer-free.

沒有癌症威脅

I am writing as well as ever.

我像以往一樣寫作

I am productive.

也很多產

If I were in this condition at any point

如果我現在的狀況

before a few cosmological instants ago,

在以前的話

I would be as isolated as a hermit.

那我會是獨居的隱者

I would be trapped inside my head.

自我糾結

Because of the rush of human knowledge,

正因為人類知識快速發展，

because of the digital revolution,

還有數位革命

I have a voice,

才讓我有了“聲音”

and I do not need to scream.

不用呐喊

RE: Wait. I have one more thing to add.

最後，我還有一事要說

A guy goes into a psychiatrist.

有一個人去找精神科醫生

The psychiatrist says, "You're crazy."

精神病醫生對他說“你瘋了”

The guy says, "I want a second opinion."

那個人說“還有其它診斷嗎”

The psychiatrist says, "All right, you're ugly."

精神病醫生對他說“好吧，你醜死了“

(Laughter)

（觀眾笑）

You all know the test for artificial intelligence -- the Turing test.

大家都知道這是人工智能搞的鬼--Turing測試

A human judge has a conversation

如果是一個人嘗試分辨

with a human and a computer.

人和機器的聲音

If the judge can't tell the machine apart from the human,

如果分辨不出機器和人的話

the machine has passed the test.

機器不就蒙混過關了嗎

I now propose a test for computer voices -- the Ebert test.

現在我用我的電腦發音參加Ebert測試

If a computer voice can successfully tell a joke

如果電腦發音能成功的說個笑話

and do the timing and delivery as well as Henny Youngman,

說笑的口氣和時機能像Henny Youngman一樣

then that's the voice I want.

那就是我想要的聲音了。

(Applause)

（鼓掌）