How America Fails New Parents — and Their Babies | Jessica Shortall | TED Talks

翻译人员: Hong Li 校对人员: Yinchun Rui

What does a working mother look like?

职场妈妈是什么样的？

If you ask the Internet, this is what you'll be told.

如果你在网上搜索， 得到的图片可能是这样的。

Never mind that this is what you'll actually produce

尽管你在屏幕上 敲出来的是这些东西，

if you attempt to work at a computer with a baby on your lap.

这就是当你抱着孩子 在电脑前工作的结果。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But no, this isn't a working mother.

但是，这并不是一个 职场妈妈真正的样子。

You'll notice a theme in these photos. We'll look at a lot of them.

一会儿我们还会展示一些照片， 你会发现一个共同点。

That theme is amazing natural lighting,

那就是绝美的自然光线，

which, as we all know,

这一点，众所周知，

is the hallmark of every American workplace.

是美国办公场所的标志。

There are thousands of images like these.

这样的照片有数千张之多。

Just put the term "working mother" into any Google image search engine,

只要将“职场妈妈”， 输入谷歌图片搜索引擎，

stock photo site.

或者图片素材网站，就能找到。

They're all over the Internet,

网上到处都是这样的照片，

无论是在知名博客中， 还是在新闻报道里，

they're topping blog posts and news pieces,

and I've become kind of obsessed with them and the lie that they tell us

这些照片让我感到不安， 因为它们在说谎，

and the comfort that they give us,

它们在安慰我们，

that when it comes to new working motherhood in America,

说美国那些返回工作岗位的妈妈们，

everything's fine.

一切都很顺利。

But it's not fine.

但事实并非如此。

As a country, we are sending millions of women back to work

美国每年让数百万 刚刚生完小孩的女性

every year, incredibly and kind of horrifically soon

立刻开始上班， 速度之快，令人震惊，

after they give birth.

甚至有点可怕。

That's a moral problem

这是一个道德问题，

but today I'm also going to tell you why it's an economic problem.

但今天我想讲讲 为什么这还是个经济问题。

I got so annoyed and obsessed with the unreality of these images,

这些虚假的照片让我感觉很难受，

which look nothing like my life,

因为它跟我的生活一点都不像，

that I recently decided to shoot and star in a parody series of stock photos

于是我最近决定 自己来拍一组素材照片，

that I hoped the world would start to use

希望大家能开始使用，

just showing the really awkward reality of going back to work

我展示的都是新妈妈们 确实会遇到的尴尬情况，

when your baby's food source is attached to your body.

因为婴儿的食物来源 是固定在妈妈身上的。

I'm just going to show you two of them.

下面我放其中的两张给大家看。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Nothing says "Give that girl a promotion" like leaking breast milk

这个姑娘在做产品说明， 奶水透过裙子渗出来了，

through your dress during a presentation.

不会有人说，“让她升职吧”。

You'll notice that there's no baby in this photo,

这张照片里并没有婴儿，

because that's not how this works,

因为这才是现实，

not for most working mothers.

大多数妈妈都不会带孩子去上班。

Did you know, and this will ruin your day,

还有一件事，你们听了也许会疯掉，

that every time a toilet is flushed, its contents are aerosolized

每冲一次厕所， 脏东西会呈气雾化散开，

and they'll stay airborne for hours?

并在空气中悬浮几个小时。

And yet, for many new working mothers,

而对于许多开始上班的新妈妈们而言，

this is the only place during the day that they can find to make food

厕所是她们白天唯一能找到的地方，

for their newborn babies.

来为自己的宝宝准备食物。

I put these things, a whole dozen of them, into the world.

我拍了很多这样的照片， 好几十张，发到网上。

I wanted to make a point.

我原本只想表明一种态度。

I didn't know what I was also doing was opening a door,

但没想到这件事引起了很大的反响，

because now, total strangers from all walks of life

现在，来自各行各业的陌生人，

write to me all the time

会不停地给我发邮件，

just to tell me what it's like for them to go back to work

与我分享自己 生完孩子数天或者数周后，

within days or weeks of having a baby.

重返工作岗位的感受。

I'm going to share 10 of their stories with you today.

今天我想与大家分享其中的10个故事。

They are totally real, some of them are very raw,

这些故事都是真实的， 有些还很残酷，

and not one of them looks anything like this.

完全不像这张照片这么美好。

Here's the first.

这是第一个。

"I was an active duty service member at a federal prison.

“我是联邦监狱一名现役狱警。

I returned to work after the maximum allowed eight weeks for my C-section.

我在剖腹产后八周开始上班， 这是我能拿到的最长假期。

A male coworker was annoyed that I had been out on 'vacation,'

一名男同事对于我 “休了个长假”很不满意，

so he intentionally opened the door on me while I was pumping breast milk

于是他故意在我挤奶的时候打开门，

and stood in the doorway with inmates in the hallway."

站在门口，身后还站着犯人。”

Most of the stories that these women, total strangers, send to me now,

而大部分给我发邮件的女性， 完全陌生的女性，

are not actually even about breastfeeding.

甚至都没提到母乳喂养的事。

A woman wrote to me to say,

其中一个写到，

"I gave birth to twins and went back to work after seven unpaid weeks.

“我生了一对双胞胎， 在7周无薪假期后开始上班。

Emotionally, I was a wreck.

精神上，我的情绪崩溃了。

Physically, I had a severe hemorrhage during labor, and major tearing,

生理上，我在生产过程中大出血， 还有严重撕裂伤，

so I could barely get up, sit or walk.

我几乎起不来床， 也无法坐立或行走。

My employer told me I wasn't allowed to use my available vacation days

我老板告诉我， 我不能用自己的假期，

because it was budget season."

因为正赶上做预算的时期。”

I've come to believe that we can't look situations like these in the eye

我开始相信，我们 无法接受这些情况，

because then we'd be horrified,

因为这太可怕了，

and if we get horrified then we have to do something about it.

而当我们感到害怕时， 总会做点什么来避免。

So we choose to look at, and believe, this image.

于是我们选择去浏览 并且相信这样的照片。

I don't really know what's going on in this picture,

说实话，我看不懂这张照片，

because I find it weird and slightly creepy.

总感觉哪里怪怪的， 甚至有点让我心里发毛。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Like, what is she doing?

这女的到底在干嘛？

But I know what it tells us.

但是我明白它的目的。

It tells us that everything's fine.

它想告诉我们，一切都好。

This working mother, all working mothers and all of their babies, are fine.

这位职场妈妈，所有职场妈妈， 所有的婴儿，一切都好。

There's nothing to see here.

没什么需要关注的。

And anyway, women have made a choice,

而且，这是女性们自己做出的选择，

so none of it's even our problem.

因此跟我们没什么关系。

I want to break this choice thing down into two parts.

我想把这里的“选择”分成两部分。

The first choice says that women have chosen to work.

第一，是女性自己选择了去工作。

So, that's not true.

然而并非如此。

Today in America, women make up 47 percent of the workforce,

如今的美国，47%的劳动力是女性，

and in 40 percent of American households

在40%的美国家庭中间，

a woman is the sole or primary breadwinner.

女性是唯一的或者主要的经济来源。

Our paid work is a part, a huge part, of the engine of this economy,

女性的有偿劳动是美国经济引擎的 一个零件，很重要的零件，

and it is essential for the engines of our families.

也是我们家庭经济引擎的必要零件。

On a national level, our paid work is not optional.

从国家层面来说，女性的 有偿劳动是必须的。

Choice number two says that women are choosing to have babies,

第二，是女性自己选择了生孩子，

so women alone should bear the consequences of those choices.

因此女性应该独自承担后果。

You know, that's one of those things

这话乍一听，

that when you hear it in passing, can sound correct.

似乎还有点道理。

I didn't make you have a baby.

“我又没强迫你生孩子。

I certainly wasn't there when that happened.

这事儿跟我没关系。”

But that stance ignores a fundamental truth,

但是这种态度忽略了一个基本事实，

which is that our procreation on a national scale is not optional.

就是生育这件事， 从国家层面来说是必须的。

The babies that women, many of them working women, are having today,

女性们——其中很多是职场女性 ——今天生下的孩子，

will one day fill our workforce, protect our shores,

将来会成为劳动力，成为军人，

make up our tax base.

成为纳税人。

Our procreation on a national scale is not optional.

因此，从国家层面来说， 生育是必须的。

These aren't choices.

没法进行选择。

We need women to work. We need working women to have babies.

我们需要女性去工作。 我们还需要工作的女性生孩子。

So we should make doing those things at the same time

这两件事我们同时需要， 那我们至少要保证

at least palatable, right?

这是可行的，对吧？

OK, this is pop quiz time:

好，下面是小测验时间：

what percentage of working women in America do you think

你们觉得在美国， 有多少比例的职场女性

have no access to paid maternity leave?

没办法取得带薪产假？

88 percent.

88%。

88 percent of working mothers will not get one minute of paid leave

88%的职场女性在生完孩子后

after they have a baby.

得不到带薪产假。

So now you're thinking about unpaid leave.

你也许会问，那不带薪的产假呢？

It exists in America. It's called FMLA. It does not work.

这在美国是有的，叫做 《家庭与医疗休假法案》。但是没什么用。

Because of the way it's structured, all kinds of exceptions,

因为它的规定里有很多限制，

half of new mothers are ineligible for it.

有一半的新妈妈根本达不到标准。

Here's what that looks like.

比如有下面这样的情况。

"We adopted our son.

“我们的儿子是收养的。

When I got the call, the day he was born, I had to take off work.

他出生那天，我接到电话，需要请假。

I had not been there long enough to qualify for FMLA,

我在公司工作的时间还不够长， 不适用《家庭与医疗休假法案》，

so I wasn't eligible for unpaid leave.

因此无法享受不带薪休假。

When I took time off to meet my newborn son,

当我去见完我刚出生的儿子后，

I lost my job."

我被开除了。”

These corporate stock photos hide another reality, another layer.

这些素材照片还隐藏了 另一件事实，

Of those who do have access to just that unpaid leave,

那些按规定可以享受 不带薪假期的女性，

most women can't afford to take much of it at all.

却又无法承受长时间的休假。

A nurse told me, "I didn't qualify for short-term disability

一位护士对我讲，“我不符合 短期无劳动能力的标准，

because my pregnancy was considered a preexisting condition.

因为我怀孕这件事发生在前。

We used up all of our tax returns and half of our savings

我花光了所有的退还税款 和一半的积蓄，

during my six unpaid weeks.

用来支付我6周无薪假期的支出。

We just couldn't manage any longer.

时间再长我们就撑不住了。

Physically it was hard, but emotionally it was worse.

首先身体就吃不消， 精神压力也让我濒临崩溃。

I struggled for months being away from my son."

离开我儿子（去上班） 让我难受了好几个月。”

So this decision to go back to work so early,

因此，早些返回工作岗位，

it's a rational economic decision driven by family finances,

是由家庭经济状况决定的， 看起来合情合理，

but it's often physically horrific

但对于（产后妇女的） 身体而言太可怕了，

because putting a human into the world is messy.

因为她们还没有完全恢复。

A waitress told me,

一位女服务员告诉我，

"With my first baby, I was back at work five weeks postpartum.

“生完第一个小孩， 我5周后回去上班。

With my second, I had to have major surgery after giving birth,

而生完第二个， 我在产后动了个大手术，

so I waited until six weeks to go back.

我休息了6周才重新开始上班。

I had third degree tears."

我当时有三度撕裂。”

23 percent of new working mothers in America

在美国，有23%的母亲

will be back on the job within two weeks of giving birth.

生完孩子后2周内就开始上班。

"I worked as a bartender and cook, average of 75 hours a week while pregnant.

“我是一名酒吧招待和厨师， 怀孕期间平均每周工作75小时，

I had to return to work before my baby was a month old,

我不得不在孩子满月前回去上班，

working 60 hours a week.

每周工作60小时。

One of my coworkers was only able to afford 10 days off with her baby."

而我的一个同事只能拿到10天的产假。”

Of course, this isn't just a scenario with economic and physical implications.

毫无疑问，（生孩子）不仅仅会影响 经济状况和身体健康。

Childbirth is, and always will be, an enormous psychological event.

同时，无论是现在还是将来， 它也会对心理造成巨大影响。

A teacher told me,

一位老师告诉我，

"I returned to work eight weeks after my son was born.

“我是在儿子出生后8周开始上班的。

I already suffer from anxiety,

本来我就够焦虑了，

but the panic attacks I had prior to returning to work were unbearable."

但重返工作岗位的恐慌 简直让我难以承受。”

Statistically speaking,

从统计学角度来讲，

the shorter a woman's leave after having a baby,

妇女的产假越短，

the more likely she will be to suffer from postpartum mood disorders

她出现产后情绪失调的 可能性就越大，

like depression and anxiety,

比如抑郁和焦虑，

and among many potential consequences of those disorders,

而在情绪失调 可能带来的诸多后果中，

suicide is the second most common cause of death

自杀的比例很高， 它在妇女产后一年内死亡原因中

in a woman's first year postpartum.

排在第二。

Heads up that this next story --

请注意听下面这个故事——

I've never met this woman, but I find it hard to get through.

我没见过这位女士， 但她的故事让我难以释怀。

"I feel tremendous grief and rage that I lost an essential,

“我感到强烈的悲伤和愤怒， 因为我失去了

irreplaceable and formative time with my son.

与我儿子相处的关键的成长时期， 这段时间是无法弥补的。

Labor and delivery left me feeling absolutely broken.

分娩和生育的过程 让我筋疲力竭。

For months, all I remember is the screaming: colic, they said.

几个月来，我一直忍不住因为腹痛 而大声呻吟，他们说这是疝气。

On the inside, I was drowning.

我的内心已经濒临崩溃。

Every morning, I asked myself how much longer I could do it.

每天早晨，我都问自己还能坚持多久。

I was allowed to bring my baby to work.

我可以带着宝宝去上班。

I closed my office door while I rocked and shushed

当他哭闹时，我别无他法， 只能关上办公室的门，

and begged him to stop screaming so I wouldn't get in trouble.

求他停止哭闹，免得我丢了工作。

I hid behind that office door every damn day

我每天都躲在那扇该死的门背后，

and cried while he screamed.

一边哭泣一边听他哭闹。

I cried in the bathroom while I washed out the pump equipment.

我在洗手间 清洗挤奶器的时候也在流泪。

Every day, I cried all the way to work and all the way home again.

每一天，无论上班还是在家 我都只能以泪洗面。

I promised my boss that the work I didn't get done during the day,

我向老板保证， 白天没干完的工作，

I'd make up at night from home.

晚上我会在家里补上。

I thought, there's just something wrong with me that I can't swing this."

我想，自己肯定出什么问题了， 而且我自己无法解决。”

So those are the mothers.

妈妈们是这种情况。

What of the babies?

那宝宝们呢？

As a country, do we care about the millions of babies

作为一个国家，我们对于 职场女性每年生育的

born every year to working mothers?

数百万婴儿是否关心呢？

I say we don't,

我认为做得不够，

not until they're of working and tax-paying and military-serving age.

我们的关心是从他们可以 工作，纳税，服役时才开始的。

We tell them we'll see them in 18 years,

我们对孩子们说， 等你们满18岁再说吧，

and getting there is kind of on them.

在那之前你们得靠自己。

One of the reasons I know this is that babies whose mothers

为什么说这些，原因之一是， 那些可以在家陪伴宝宝

have 12 or more weeks at home with them

12周或者更久的妈妈们，

are more likely to get their vaccinations and their well checks in their first year,

在孩子一岁前，会更倾向于给宝宝打疫苗， 并且更关注宝宝的健康，

so those babies are more protected from deadly and disabling diseases.

因此这些宝宝们被保护得更好， 不易夭折，也不易患病致残。

But those things are hidden behind images like this.

但这些事实都被隐藏在 类似这样的照片背后。

America has a message for new mothers who work and for their babies.

美国对当了妈妈的职场女性 以及她们的宝宝传递这样的信息。

Whatever time you get together, you should be grateful for it,

无论你的产假是长是短， 都应该心怀感激，

and you're an inconvenience

而且你要意识到，你休产假

to the economy and to your employers.

给经济发展和你的雇主带来了不便。

That narrative of gratitude runs through a lot of the stories I hear.

这种满怀谢意的话， 我在许多故事中都能听到。

A woman told me,

一位女士告诉我，

"I went back at eight weeks after my C-section

“我在剖腹产后休息了8周就上班了，

because my husband was out of work.

因为我丈夫没有工作。

Without me, my daughter had failure to thrive.

我不在身边，女儿过得很不好。

She wouldn't take a bottle.

她不愿意喝奶粉。

She started losing weight.

体重开始下降。

Thankfully, my manager was very understanding.

好在我的经理非常理解我。

He let my mom bring my baby,

他让我母亲带着宝宝来公司，

who was on oxygen and a monitor,

当时宝宝还输着氧，带着监视器，

four times a shift so I could nurse her."

这样我在上班期间能照顾她。”

There's a little club of countries in the world

世界上只有少数几个国家，

that offer no national paid leave to new mothers.

没有实行全民带薪产假。

Care to guess who they are?

能猜到都有哪些国家吗？

The first eight make up eight million in total population.

前8个国家加起来只有800万人口。

They are Papua New Guinea, Suriname and the tiny island nations

有巴布亚新几内亚，苏里南 和几个小的岛国，

of Micronesia, Marshall Islands, Nauru, Niue, Palau and Tonga.

包括密克罗尼西亚，马绍尔群岛， 还有瑙鲁，纽埃，帕劳和汤加。

Number nine is the United States of America,

第9个就是美利坚合众国，

with 320 million people.

拥有3亿2千万人口。

Oh, that's it.

哦，后面没有了。

That's the end of the list.

美国是名单上最后一个。

Every other economy on the planet

这个星球上所有其他国家，

has found a way to make some level of national paid leave work

都有全民带薪产假，时间有长有短，

for the people doing the work of the future of those countries,

来照顾那些为了国家的未来 在工作，在生育的人们，

but we say, "We couldn't possibly do that."

而我们却说，“我们可能办不到。”

We say that the market will solve this problem,

我们认为市场可以解决这个问题，

and then we cheer when corporations offer even more paid leave to the women

大公司们给女士们更多带薪产假， 我们欢欣鼓舞，

who are already the highest-educated and highest-paid among us.

这些女士们原本 就接受了最好的教育，拿着最高的薪水。

Remember that 88 percent?

还记得之前说的88%吗？

Those middle- and low-income women are not going to participate in that.

那些中低收入的女性 根本无法享受这些。

We know that there are staggering economic, financial, physical

我们明白，要改变这一点， 需要我们从经济、财政、生理和心理

and emotional costs to this approach.

各方面都做好充分的准备。

We have decided -- decided, not an accident,

于是我们决定——是决定， 不是意外发生的，

to pass these costs directly on to working mothers and their babies.

将这些负担直接转移到 职场女性和她们的宝宝身上。

We know the price tag is higher for low-income women,

我们知道这些负担对那些 低收入的女性们更加沉重，

therefore disproportionately for women of color.

对于非白人女性更是如此。

We pass them on anyway.

但我们依然这样做了。

All of this is to America's shame.

这一切是美国的耻辱。

But it's also to America's risk.

但同时也让美国陷入了巨大的风险。

Because what would happen

因为，如果有一天，

if all of these individual so-called choices to have babies

所有这些“选择”要孩子的人

started to turn into individual choices not to have babies.

开始选择不要孩子，会怎么样呢？

One woman told me,

一位女士对我说，

"New motherhood is hard. It shouldn't be traumatic.

“新时代的妈妈不好当。 本不应如此痛苦的。

When we talk about expanding our family now,

当我们计划再要一个小孩时，

we focus on how much time I would have to care for myself and a new baby.

考虑得最多的是我能有 多少时间来照顾自己和宝宝。

If we were to have to do it again the same way as with our first,

如果还跟生老大的时候一样，

we might stick with one kid."

那我们宁愿只生一个。”

The birthrate needed in America to keep the population stable

如果要保持美国的人口稳定，

is 2.1 live births per woman.

每位女性平均要生2.1个孩子。

In America today, we are at 1.86.

而美国现在的数字是1.86。

We need women to have babies,

我们需要女性生育孩子，

and we are actively disincentivizing working women from doing that.

而我们却没有为她们 创造充分的条件来实现它。

What would happen to work force, to innovation, to GDP,

如果职场女性一个个都觉得

if one by one, the working mothers of this country were to decide

自己无法承受再要一个孩子，

that they can't bear to do this thing more than once?

这对劳动力、创新、 国内生产总值意味着什么？

I'm here today with only one idea worth spreading,

我今天就想表达一个观点，

and you've guessed what it is.

你们应该已经猜到了。

It is long since time for the most powerful country on Earth

作为地球上最强大的国家，

to offer national paid leave

美国早就应该推行全民带薪产假了，

to the people doing the work of the future of this country

这不单是为了 在为美国的未来拼搏的妈妈们，

and to the babies who represent that future.

也为了代表美国未来的宝宝们。

Childbirth is a public good.

生育是一项公益事业。

This leave should be state-subsidized.

产假应由国家来补贴。

It should have no exceptions for small businesses,

应一视同仁，无论公司大小，

length of employment or entrepreneurs.

工作年限长短或者老板是谁。

It should be able to be shared between partners.

应该能由伴侣双方共享。

I've talked today a lot about mothers,

我今天讲的大部分都是妈妈，

but co-parents matter on so many levels.

但是伴侣中的另一半同样非常重要。

Not one more woman should have to go back to work

不要再让任何女性 一瘸一拐，还流着血

while she is hobbling and bleeding.

就去上班了。

Not one more family should have to drain their savings account

不要再让任何家庭花光积蓄，

to buy a few days of rest and recovery and bonding.

仅仅为了能多休息几天，调养身体。

Not one more fragile infant

不要再让任何脆弱的婴儿

should have to go directly from the incubator to day care

直接从保温箱转到托儿所，

because his parents have used up all of their meager time

仅仅因为他的父母 将仅有的那一点点假期都用于

sitting in the NICU.

守候在新生儿重症监护室。

Not one more working family should be told that the collision

不要再对任何家庭说，

of their work, their needed work and their needed parenthood,

他们作为员工和父母 这两种身份的矛盾，

is their problem alone.

只能由他们自己解决。

The catch is that when this is happening to a new family, it is consuming,

问题在于当这一切发生在 一个新家庭时，会很让人伤脑筋，

and a family with a new baby is more financially vulnerable

有新生儿的家庭的财政状况

than they've ever been before,

比以往任何时候都脆弱，

so that new mother cannot afford to speak up on her own behalf.

因此新妈妈没办法站出来 为自己的利益发声。

But all of us have voices.

但我们可以发声。

I am done, done having babies,

我已经生完孩子了，不想再要了，

and you might be pre-baby,

你可能准备要孩子，

you might be post-baby,

你可能要完孩子了，

you might be no baby.

你可能不打算要孩子。

It should not matter.

这都没关系。

We have to stop framing this as a mother's issue,

我们不该仅仅把它看作是妈妈的事，

or even a women's issue.

或者女性的事。

This is an American issue.

这是全美国的事。

We need to stop buying the lie that these images tell us.

我们应该停止相信这些骗人的照片。

We need to stop being comforted by them.

我们应该停止从中获得安慰。

We need to question why we're told that this can't work

我们应该质疑，为什么美国做不到，

when we see it work everywhere all over the world.

而其他国家都能做到。

We need to recognize that this American reality

我们应该意识到，美国的这一现实，

is to our dishonor and to our peril.

对我们而言是耻辱和危险。

Because this is not,

因为这不是，

this is not,

这也不是，

and this is not what a working mother looks like.

这些都不是，职场妈妈真实的样子。

(Applause)

（掌声）