A highly scientific taxonomy of haters | Negin Farsad

Prevodilac: Milenka Okuka Lektor: Mile Živković

I'm an Iranian-American Muslim female,

Ja sam iransko-američka muslimanka,

like all of you.

poput svih vas.

And I'm also a social justice comedian,

Takođe sam komičarka društvene pravde,

something that I insist is an actual job.

insistiram da je to stvarni posao.

To explain what that is, let me tell you how I got here.

Da bih to objasnila, ispričaću vam kako sam stigla ovde.

I've performed all over the country.

Nastupala sam širom države.

And let me tell you, America is majestic, right?

I da vam kažem, Amerika je veličanstvena, zar ne?

It's got breathtaking nature,

Ima prirodu koja oduzima dah,

waffle houses

restorane vafli

and diabetes as far as the eye can see.

i dijabetesa dokle ti pogled seže.

It is really something.

Stvarno je nešto posebno.

Now, the American population can be broken up

Sad, američka populacija može da se razloži

into three main categories:

na tri glavne kategorije:

there's mostly wonderful people,

imamo uglavnom divne ljude,

haters

mrzitelje

and Florida.

i Floridu.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Besides Florida, the most troubling category here are the Haters.

Pored Floride, najproblematičnija kategorija ovde su mrzitelji.

They are a minority,

Oni su manjina,

but they overcompensate by being extra loud.

ali to nadoknađuju svojom preteranom glasnošću.

They have the Napoleon complex of demographics,

Imaju Napoleonov demografski kompleks

and yes, some of the men do wear heels.

i, da, neki od muškaraca nose štikle.

As a social justice comedian,

Kao komičarka društvene pravde,

it's my goal to convert these haters,

moj je cilj da preobratim ove mrzitelje,

because they hate a lot of things, which leads to negative outcomes,

zato što oni mrze štošta, to vodi do negativnih ishoda,

like racism, violence and Ted Nugent.

poput rasizma, nasilja i Ted Nudženta.

This is not an exhaustive list;

Nije ovo iscrpna lista;

I'm probably missing 3-7 items.

verovatno mi fali 3-7 stavki.

But the point is,

No, poenta je:

we have to reckon with the haters.

moramo da se bavimo mrziteljima.

But there's variance within this group

Ali imamo varijacije unutar ove grupe

and it's not efficient to go after all of them, right?

i nije efikasno napadati sve njih, zar ne?

So what I've done is created a highly scientific Taxonomy of Haters.

Pa sam ja stvorila krajnje naučnu klasifikaciju mrzitelja.

I basically took all of the haters,

U suštini sam uzela sve mrzitelje,

I put them in a petri dish, like a scientist,

stavila ih u petrijevu posudu, poput naučnice,

and this is what I found.

i ovo sam otkrila.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

First off, we have the trolls.

Pre svega imamo trolove.

These are your garden-variety digital haters.

To su vam uobičajeni digitalni mrzitelji.

They're the people who quit their jobs

To su ljudi koji su napustili poslove

so they can post on YouTube videos all day long.

kako bi mogli da komentarišu Jutjub snimke po ceo dan.

There's also the drive-by haters.

Imamo i mrzitelje u naletu.

Now, these people will be at a stoplight,

Sad, ti ljudi stoje na semaforu,

they'll wait for the light to turn green

čekaju da se uključi zeleno svetlo,

and when it does, they yell, "Go back to your own country!"

a kad se uključi, viču: "Vratite se u svoju zemlju!"

Now back in the day, they would've actually gotten out of their cars

Sad, u stara vremena bi zapravo izašli iz svojih auta

and hated you to your face.

i mrzeli bi vas u lice.

But they just don't make them like they used to --

Ali više ih ne proizvode kao nekada -

which is another sign of the decline in America.

to je još jedan znak propasti Amerike.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

The next category

Sledeća kategorija

is the mission-oriented-bigot- whose-group-affiliation-

su orjentisani-na-misiju-bigoti- čije-grupne-sklonosti-

gives-them-cover-for-hating hater.

im-daju-pokriće-za-mržnju mrzitelji.

These guys like to hate via a seemingly nice organization,

Ovi likovi vole da mrze putem naoko finih organizacija,

like a church or a nonprofit,

poput crkvi ili neprofitnih organizacija,

and they oftentimes like to speak in an old-timey voice.

i često vole da govore arhaičnim glasovima.

But the group I'm most interested in is the swing hater.

Ali grupa koja mene najviše interesuje su neodlučni mrzitelji.

The swing hater is sister to the swing voter --

Neodlučna mrziteljka je sestra neodlučnog glasača -

they just can't decide!

oni prosto ne mogu da se odluče!

They're like ideological sluts

Oni su poput ideoloških drolja

who move from hating to not hating.

koje se kreću od mržnje ka nemržnji.

And they do it because they don't have enough information.

A to rade jer nemaju dovoljno informacija.

This is the group I like to target with social justice comedy.

Ovo je moja omiljena ciljna grupa za komediju društvene pravde.

Why comedy?

Zašto komediju?

Because on a scale of comedy to brochure,

Jer na lestvici od komedije do brošure,

the average American prefers comedy, as you can see from this graph.

prosečan Amerikanac više voli komediju, kao što vidite na ovom grafikonu.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Comedy is very popular.

Komedija je veoma popularna.

And by the way,

I, usput,

this is a mathematically accurate graph,

ovo je matematički precizan grafikon,

generated from fake numbers.

proistekao iz lažnih brojki.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Now, the question is:

Sad, pitanje je:

Why does social justice comedy work?

zašto komedija društvene pravde deluje?

Because, first off, it makes you laugh.

Pre svega, zato što vas zasmejava.

And when you're laughing, you enter into a state of openness.

A kad se smejete, zapadate u stanje otvorenosti.

And in that moment of openness,

A u tom trenutku otvorenosti,

a good social justice comedian can stick in a whole bunch of information,

dobar komičar društvene pravde može da ugura čitavu hrpu informacija,

and if they're really skilled,

a ako su zaista vešti

a rectal exam.

i rektalni pregled.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Here are some ground rules for social justice comedy:

Evo nekih osnovnih pravila kod komedije društvene pravde:

first off, it's not partisan.

pre svega nije stranačka.

This isn't political comedy, this is about justice,

To nije politička komedija, ovde se radi o pravdi,

and no one is against justice.

a niko nije protiv pravde.

Two, it's inviting and warm,

Po dva: dobronamerna je i topla,

it makes you feel like you're sitting inside of a burrito.

osećate se kao da sedite unutar toplog burita.

Three, it's funny but sneaky,

Pod tri: smešno je, ali podmuklo,

like you could be hearing an interesting treatise

kao na primer, slušate zanimljiv traktat

on income inequality,

o nejednakom prihodu,

that's encased in a really sophisticated poop joke.

koji je upakovan u zaista prefinjen vic o kaki.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Here's how I see social justice comedy working.

Evo kako ja vidim komediju društvene pravde na delu.

A few years ago, I rounded up a bunch of Muslim-American comedians --

Pre nekoliko godina sam okupila gomilu muslimansko-američkih komičara -

in a non-violent way --

u nenasilnom maniru -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And we went around the country

I išli smo širom zemlje,

to places like Alabama, Arizona, Tennessee, Georgia --

na mesta poput Alabame, Arizone, Tenesija, Džordžije -

places where they love the Muzzies --

mesta gde vole "mazije" -

and we did stand-up shows.

i imali smo stendap predstave.

We called the tour "The Muslims Are Coming!"

Nazvali smo turneju: "Stižu muslimani!"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

We turned this into a movie,

Pretvorili smo to u film,

and then after the movie came out,

a potom, kad je film izašao,

a known hate group spent 300,000 dollars

poznata grupa mrzitelja je potrošila 300.000 dolara

on an anti-Muslim poster campaign

na protivmuslimansku kampanju posterima

with the MTA -- that's the New York City subway system.

u MTA-u - to jest njujorškoj podzemnoj železnici.

Now, the posters were truly offensive,

Sad, posteri su uistinu bili uvredljivi,

not to mentioned poorly designed --

da ne pominjem loš dizajn -

I mean, if you're going to be bigoted,

mislim, ako ćete da budete bigoti,

you might as well use a better font.

barem koristite bolji font.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But we decided, why not launch our own poster campaign

Ali smo odlučili, zašto da ne pokrenemo sopstvenu kampanju posterima

that says nice things about Muslims,

koja govori lepe stvari o muslimanima,

while promoting the movie.

dok promoviše film.

So myself and fellow comedian Dean Obeidallah

Pa smo ja i kolega komičar Din Obidala

decided to launch the fighting-bigotry- with-delightful-posters campaign.

odlučili da pokrenemo kampanju borbe- protiv-netrpeljivosti-divnim-posterima.

We raised the money, worked with the MTA for over 5 months,

Sakupili smo novac, sarađivali s MTA preko pet meseci,

got the posters approved,

dobili dozvolu za postere

and two days after they were supposed to go up,

i dva dana nakon što je trebalo da postave postere,

the MTA decided to ban the posters,

MTA su odlučili da ih zabrane,

citing political content.

navodeći politički sadržaj kao razlog.

Let's take a look at a couple of those posters.

Pogledajmo nekoliko tih postera.

Here's one.

Evo jednog.

Facts about Muslims:

Činjenice o muslimanima:

Muslims invented the concept of a hospital.

muslimani su izmislili koncept bolnice.

OK.

U redu.

Fact: Grown-up Muslims can do more push-ups than baby Muslims.

Činjenica: odrasli muslimani mogu da urade više sklekova od beba muslimana.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Fact: Muslims invented Justin Timberlake.

Činjenica: muslimani su izmislili Džastina Timberlejka.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Let's take a look at another one.

Pogledajmo još jedan.

The ugly truth about Muslims:

Ružna istina o muslimanima:

they have great frittata recipes.

imaju odlične recepte za fritatu.

Now clearly, frittatas are considered political by the MTA.

Sad, očito da MTA smatra fritatu ispolitizovanom.

Either that, or the mere mention of Muslims in a positive light

To, ili puko pominjanje muslimana u pozitivnom svetlu

was considered political -- but it isn't.

se smatra ispolitizovanim - ali nije.

It's about justice.

Radi se o pravdi.

So we decided to change

Pa smo promenili

our fighting-bigortry- with-delightful-posters campaign

kampanju borbe-protiv- netrpeljivosti-divnim-posterima

and turn it into the fighting-bigotry- with-a-delightful-lawsuit campaign.

i pretvorimo je u kampanju borbe-protiv- netrpeljivosti-divnom-tužbom.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So basically, what I'm saying is a couple of dirt-bag comedians

U suštini vam govorim da je nekoliko ništavnih komičara

took on a major New York City agency

tužilo veliku njujoršku agenciju

and the comedians won.

i komičari su pobedili.

(Applause and cheers)

(Aplauzi i klicanja)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

Victory was a very weird feeling.

Pobeda je imala čudan osećaj.

I was like, "Is this what blonde girls feel like all the time?

U fazonu: "Da li se ovako plavuše osećaju sve vreme?

'Cause this is amazing!"

Jer je neverovatno!"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Here's another example.

Evo još jednog primera.

I'm asked everywhere I go: "Why don't Muslims denounce terrorism?"

Gde god da odem, pitaju me: "Zašto muslimani ne osuđuju terorizam?"

We do. But OK, I'll take the bait.

Osuđujemo. Ali, u redu, zagrišću mamac.

So I decided to launch thedailydenouncer.com.

Pa sam odlučila da pokrenem thedailydenouncer.com.

It's a website that denounces terrorism every day of the week,

To je vebsajt koji svakodnevno osuđuje terorizam,

while taking the weekends off.

uz pauzu tokom vikenda.

Let's take a look at an example.

Pogledajmo jedan primer:

They generally appear as single-panel cartoons,

obično se pojavljuju kao crtaći u jednoj slici:

"I denounce terrorism! I also denounce people who never fill the paper tray!"

"Osuđujem terorizam! Kao i ljude koji nikad ne dopune papir u štampaču!"

The point of the website is that it denounces terrorism

Poenta vebsajta je osuđivanje terorizma,

while recognizing that it's ridiculous

uz prepoznavanje bizarnosti toga

that we have to constantly denounce terrorism.

da moramo stalno da osuđujemo terorizam.

But if bigotry isn't your thing,

No, ako netrpeljivost nije vaš manir,

social justice comedy is useful for all sorts of issues.

komedija društvene pravde je korisna za razna pitanja.

For example, myself and fellow comedian Lee Camp

Na primer, kolega komičar Li Kamp i ja

went to the Cayman Islands to investigate offshore banking.

smo išli na Kajmanska ostrva kako bismo istražili ofšor bankarstvo.

Now, the United States loses something like 300 billion dollars a year

Sad, SAD gubi otprilike 300 milijardi dolara godišnje

in these offshore tax havens.

u ovim ofšor poreskim rajevima.

Not to brag,

Ne hvalim se,

but at the end of every month,

ali na kraju svakog meseca

I have something like 5-15 dollars in disposable income.

imam otprilike 5-15 dolara raspoloživog prihoda.

So we walked into these banks in the Cayman Islands

Te smo ušetali u te banke na Kajmanskim ostrvima

and asked if we could open up a bank account

i pitali smo možemo li da otvorimo bankovni račun

with eight dollars and 27 cents.

sa osam dolara i 27 centi.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

The bank managers would indulge us for 30-45 seconds before calling security.

Menadžeri banke bi nam povlađivali 30-45 sekundi pre pozivanja obezbeđenja.

Security would come out, brandish their weapons,

Obezbeđenje bi izašlo, mahalo svojim oružjem,

and then we would squeal with fear and run away,

a mi bismo zacičali od straha i pobegli

because -- and this is the last rule of social justice comedy --

jer - ovo je poslednje pravilo komedije društvene pravde -

sometimes it makes you want to take a dump in your pants.

ponekad poželite da se ispraznite u gaće.

Most of my work is meant to be fun.

Moj rad bi uglavnom trebalo da bude smešan.

It's meant to generate a connection and laughter.

Trebalo bi da proizvede povezanost i smeh.

But yes, sometimes I get run off the grounds by security.

Ali, da, ponekad me obezbeđenje otera s poseda.

Sometimes I get mean tweets and hate mail.

Ponekad mi stižu zlonamerni tvitovi i zajedljiva pošta.

Sometimes I get voice mails saying that if I continue telling my jokes,

Ponekad dobijam glasovne poruke koje kažu da ako nastavim da pričam svoje viceve,

they'll kill me and they'll kill my family.

ubiće i mene i moju porodicu.

And those death threats are definitely not funny.

A te pretnje smrću, definitivno nisu smešne.

But despite the occasional danger,

No uprkos povremenoj opasnosti,

I still think that social justice comedy is one of our best weapons.

i dalje smatram da je komedija društvene pravde među našim najboljim oružjima.

I mean, we've tried a lot of approaches to social justice,

Mislim, isprobali smo mnogo pristupa društvenoj pravdi,

like war and competitive ice dancing.

poput rata i takmičarskog plesa na ledu.

But still, a lot of things are still kind of awful.

Ali i dalje su mnoge stvari nekako užasne.

So I think it's time we try and tell a really good poop joke.

Te smatram da je vreme da pokušamo da ispričamo zaista dobar vic o kaki.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)