The secret to great opportunities? The person you haven't met yet | Tanya Menon

207,989 views ・ 2018-03-08

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:00
I started teaching MBA students
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Prevodilac: Psiho cose Lektor: Tijana Mihajlović
Počela sam da predajem MBA studentima
00:03
17 years ago.
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pre 17 godina.
00:05
Sometimes I run into my students years later.
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Ponekad naletim na svoje studente godinama kasnije,
00:08
And when I run into them, a funny thing happens.
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a kada ih sretnem, smešna stvar se desi.
00:11
I don't remember just their faces;
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Ne pamtim samo njihova lica;
00:13
I also remember where exactly in the classroom they were sitting.
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takođe pamtim gde su tačno sedeli u učionici.
00:18
And I remember who they were sitting with as well.
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I pamtim sa kim su sedeli, takođe.
00:21
This is not because I have any special superpowers of memory.
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Ovo nije zato što imam bilo kakve super moći vezane za pamćenje.
00:26
The reason I can remember them
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Razlog zbog kog mogu da ih se setim
00:28
is because they are creatures of habit.
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je taj što su oni stvorenja navike.
00:31
They are sitting with their favorite people in their favorite seats.
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Sede sa svojim omiljenim ljudima na svojim omiljenim mestima.
00:35
They find their twins, they stay with them for the whole year.
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Nalaze svoje blizance, ostaju sa njima tokom cele godine.
00:39
Now, the danger of this for my students is they're at risk
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Sada, opasnost u svemu ovome za moje studente jeste što oni rizikuju
00:44
of leaving the university with just a few people
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da odu sa univerziteta sa svega nekoliko ljudi
00:48
who are exactly like them.
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koji su potpuno isti kao i oni.
00:49
They're going to squander their chance for an international, diverse network.
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Proćerdaće svoju šansu za međunarodnom, raznolikom mrežom.
00:54
How could this happen to them?
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Kako bi ovo moglo da im se desi?
00:55
My students are open-minded.
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Moji studenti su otvorenog uma.
00:57
They come to business school precisely so that they can get great networks.
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Oni su izabrali poslovnu školu iz razloga da mogu da ostvare sjajnu povezanost.
01:02
Now, all of us socially narrow in our lives, in our school, in work,
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Sada, svi mi smo socijalno ograničeni u našim životima, u našoj školi, u poslu,
01:08
and so I want you to think about this one.
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pa bih želela da razmislite o sledećem.
01:10
How many of you here brought a friend along for this talk?
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Koliko vas ovde je povelo prijatelja sa sobom na ovaj govor?
01:15
I want you to look at your friend a little bit.
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Želim da malo pogledate svog prijatelja.
01:19
Are they of the same nationality as you?
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Da li su iste nacionalnosti kao vi?
01:22
Are they of the same gender as you?
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Da li su istog pola kao vi?
01:25
Are they of the same race?
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Da li su iste rase?
01:26
Really look at them closely.
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Dobro ih pogledajte.
01:29
Don't they kind of look like you as well?
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Zar ne liče malo i na vas?
01:31
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:32
The muscle people are together,
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Mišićavi ljudi su zajedno,
01:33
and the people with the same hairstyles
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i ljudi sa istim frizurama
01:35
and the checked shirts.
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i kariranim košuljama.
01:38
We all do this in life.
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Svi mi radimo to u životu.
01:39
We all do it in life, and in fact, there's nothing wrong with this.
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Svi mi radimo to u životu i, u stvari, ništa nije pogrešno kod toga.
01:43
It makes us comfortable to be around people who are similar.
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Prijatnije nam je da budemo okruženi ljudima koji su nam slični.
01:47
The problem is when we're on a precipice, right?
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Problem je kada se nađemo na rubu propasti, zar ne?
01:50
When we're in trouble, when we need new ideas,
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Kada se nađemo u nevolji, kada nam trebaju nove ideje,
01:52
when we need new jobs, when we need new resources --
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kada nam trebaju novi poslovi, kada nam trebaju novi izvori,
01:56
this is when we really pay a price for living in a clique.
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tada zaista plaćamo cenu toga što živimo u malim grupama.
02:01
Mark Granovetter, the sociologist, had a famous paper
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Mark Granoveter, sociolog, ima poznati rad,
02:06
"The Strength of Weak Ties,"
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„Snagu slabih veza“,
02:08
and what he did in this paper is he asked people
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a on je u tom radu pitao ljude
02:10
how they got their jobs.
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kako su dobili svoje poslove.
02:12
And what he learned was that most people don't get their jobs
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I shvatio je da većina ljudi ne dobija poslove
02:15
through their strong ties -- their father, their mother, their significant other.
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putem jakih veza - njihovog oca, majke, partnera.
02:19
They instead get jobs through weak ties, people who they just met.
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Umesto toga dobijaju poslove putem slabih veza,
od ljudi koje su upravo upoznali.
02:24
So if you think about what the problem is with your strong ties,
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Pa, ako razmislite o tome u čemu je problem sa vašim jakim vezama,
02:27
think about your significant other, for example.
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razmislite i o vašim partnerima, na primer.
02:30
The network is redundant.
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Mreža je suvišna.
02:31
Everybody that they know, you know.
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Svakoga koga oni znaju, znate i vi.
02:34
Or I hope you know them. Right?
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Ili, ja se nadam da ih znate. Zar ne?
02:37
Your weak ties -- people you just met today --
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Vaše slabe veze, ljudi koje ste upoznali danas,
02:39
they are your ticket to a whole new social world.
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vaša su karta ka celom novom društvenom svetu.
02:43
The thing is that we have this amazing ticket to travel our social worlds,
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Stvar je u tome da imamo neverovatnu kartu da putujemo našim društvenim svetovima,
02:48
but we don't use it very well.
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ali je ne koristimo dobro.
02:49
Sometimes we stay awfully close to home.
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Ponekad ostajemo užasno blizu kuće.
02:52
And today, what I want to talk about is:
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I danas, ono o čemu želim da pričam je
02:54
What are those habits that keep human beings so close to home,
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koje su to navike koje drže ljudska bića tako blizu kuće
02:58
and how can we be a little bit more intentional
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i kako svi mi možemo da sa malo više namere
03:01
about traveling our social universe?
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putujemo kroz naš društveni univerzum.
03:03
So let's look at the first strategy.
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Pa, hajde da pogledamo prvu strategiju.
03:06
The first strategy is to use a more imperfect social search engine.
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Prva strategija je da koristimo nesavršeniji društveni pretraživač.
03:12
What I mean by a social search engine
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Pod društvenim pretraživačem podrazumevam
03:14
is how you are finding and filtering your friends.
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način na koji pronalazite i filtrirate prijatelje.
03:19
And so people always tell me,
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I zato mi ljudi uvek govore:
03:21
"I want to get lucky through the network.
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„Želim da mi se posreći putem mreže.
03:23
I want to get a new job. I want to get a great opportunity."
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Želim da dobijem novi posao, veliku priliku.“
Kažem im: „Pa, to je zaista teško
03:26
And I say, "Well, that's really hard,
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03:28
because your networks are so fundamentally predictable."
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zato što su vaše mreže u osnovi tako predvidive.“
03:31
Map out your habitual daily footpath,
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Mapirajte svoju svakodnevnu pešačku zonu
03:34
and what you'll probably discover is that you start at home,
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i ono što ćete verovatno otkriti je da je započinjete kod kuće,
03:38
you go to your school or your workplace,
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idete u školu ili na radno mesto,
03:40
you maybe go up the same staircase or elevator,
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možda se penjete istim stepenicama ili liftom,
03:43
you go to the bathroom -- the same bathroom --
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idete u kupatilo, isto kupatilo
03:46
and the same stall in that bathroom,
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istu WC šolju u kupatilu,
završite u teretani,
03:48
you end up in the gym,
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03:49
then you come right back home.
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zatim se vraćate pravo kući.
03:51
It's like stops on a train schedule.
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To je nalik stanicama u voznom rasporedu.
03:53
It's that predictable.
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Toliko je predvidivo.
03:54
It's efficient, but the problem is, you're seeing exactly the same people.
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Efikasno je, ali problem je u tome što viđate uvek iste ljude.
04:00
Make your network slightly more inefficient.
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Napravite svoju mrežu malo više neefikasnijom.
04:03
Go to a bathroom on a different floor.
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Idite u kupatilo na različitom spratu.
04:06
You encounter a whole new network of people.
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Srešćete se sa potpuno novom mrežom ljudi.
04:09
The other side of it is how we are actually filtering.
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Druga strana toga je način na koji mi zapravo filtriramo.
04:14
And we do this automatically.
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A radimo to automatski.
04:16
The minute we meet someone, we are looking at them, we meet them,
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U trenutku kada upoznamo nekoga, gledamo u njih, upoznajemo ih,
04:19
we are initially seeing,
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inicijalno vidimo:
04:20
"You're interesting."
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„Ti si interesantan.“
04:21
"You're not interesting." "You're relevant."
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„Ti nisi interesantan.“ „Ti si bitan.“
Radimo ovo automatski. Čak ne možemo tome da se odupremo.
04:24
We do this automatically. We can't even help it.
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04:26
And what I want to encourage you to do instead is to fight your filters.
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Želim da vas ohrabrim da se umesto toga borite sa vašim filterima.
04:30
I want you to take a look around this room,
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Želim da razgledate po ovoj prostoriji
04:33
and I want you to identify the least interesting person that you see,
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i želim da identifikujete najmanje interesantnu osobu koju vidite
04:37
and I want you to connect with them over the next coffee break.
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i da se povežete sa njima tokom sledeće pauze za kafu.
04:40
And I want you to go even further than that.
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Želim da odete čak i dalje od toga.
04:42
What I want you to do is find the most irritating person you see as well
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Želim od vas da nađete i najiritantniju osobu koju vidite
04:47
and connect with them.
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i da se povežete sa njom.
04:49
What you are doing with this exercise is you are forcing yourself
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Pomoću ove vežbe prisiljavate sebe
04:56
to see what you don't want to see,
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da vidite ono što ne želite da vidite,
04:58
to connect with who you don't want to connect with,
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da se povežete sa onima sa kojima ne želite da se povežete
05:01
to widen your social world.
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da biste proširili svoj društveni svet.
05:03
To truly widen, what we have to do is,
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Da bismo ga istinski proširili,
treba da se suočimo sa našim smislom za izbore.
05:06
we've got to fight our sense of choice.
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05:08
We've got to fight our choices.
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Treba da se borimo protiv naših izbora.
05:10
And my students hate this, but you know what I do?
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Moji studenti mrze ovo, ali znate šta radim?
05:12
I won't let them sit in their favorite seats.
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Ne dozvoljavam im da sede na omiljenom mestu.
05:15
I move them around from seat to seat.
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Pomeram ih okolo od mesta do mesta.
05:17
I force them to work with different people
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Prisiljavam ih da rade sa različitim ljudima
05:19
so there are more accidental bumps in the network
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tako da ima više slučajnih prepreka u mreži
05:22
where people get a chance to connect with each other.
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gde ljudi dobijaju šansu da se povežu jedni sa drugima.
05:24
And we studied exactly this kind of an intervention at Harvard University.
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Upravo ovu vrstu intervencije smo proučavali na Univerzitetu Harvard.
05:29
At Harvard, when you look at the rooming groups,
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Na Harvardu, kada pogledate u grupe u sobi,
05:32
there's freshman rooming groups, people are not choosing those roommates.
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a imate brucoške cimerske grupe, ljudi ne biraju svoje cimere.
05:36
They're of all different races, all different ethnicities.
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Oni su svi različitih rasa, različite nacionalnosti.
Možda je ljudima u početku nelagodno sa ovim cimerima,
05:39
Maybe people are initially uncomfortable with those roommates,
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ali neverovatna stvar je da,
05:42
but the amazing thing is,
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05:43
at the end of a year with those students,
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na kraju godine sa tim studentima,
05:45
they're able to overcome that initial discomfort.
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oni uspevaju da prevaziđu tu početnu nelagodnost.
05:49
They're able to find deep-level commonalities with people.
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Mogu da pronađu duboke nivoe sličnosti sa ljudima.
05:52
So the takeaway here is not just "take someone out to coffee."
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Tako poruka odavde nije „samo izvedi nekoga na kafu“.
05:58
It's a little more subtle.
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Malo je suptilnija.
05:59
It's "go to the coffee room."
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To je više nalik „idite u prostoriju sa kafom“.
06:02
When researchers talk about social hubs,
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Kada istraživači pričaju o socijalnim petljama,
06:04
what makes a social hub so special is you can't choose;
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ono što ih čini tako specijalnim je da ne možete da birate;
06:08
you can't predict who you're going to meet in that place.
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ne možete da predvidite koga ćete sresti u tom mestu.
06:12
And so with these social hubs, the paradox is, interestingly enough,
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Zato je sa tim socijalnim petljama paradoksalno i veoma interesantno da,
06:17
to get randomness,
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da biste dobili slučajnost,
06:19
it requires, actually, some planning.
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to zahteva, zapravo, malo planiranja.
06:21
In one university that I worked at,
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Na jednom univerzitetu gde sam radila
06:24
there was a mail room on every single floor.
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postojala je soba za poštu na svakom spratu.
06:26
What that meant is that the only people who would bump into each other
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To znači da su jedini ljudi koji će naleteti jedni na druge
06:30
are those who are actually on that floor
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zapravo oni na tom spratu i koji ionako naleću jedni na druge.
06:32
and who are bumping into each other anyway.
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Na drugom univerzitetu gde sam radila postojala je samo jedna prostorija,
06:34
At another university I worked at, there was only one mail room,
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06:37
so all the faculty from all over that building
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tako da su svi sa fakulteta, iz svih delova zgrade,
06:40
would run into each other in that social hub.
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naletali jedni na druge u toj socijalnoj petlji.
06:44
A simple change in planning,
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Jednostavna promena u planiranju
06:47
a huge difference in the traffic of people
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predstavlja veliku razliku za saobraćanje ljudi
06:50
and the accidental bumps in the network.
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i slučajne susrete u mreži.
06:52
Here's my question for you:
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Evo mog pitanja za vas:
06:54
What are you doing that breaks you from your social habits?
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šta radite da se odvojite od svojih socijalnih navika?
06:58
Where do you find yourself
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Gde se pronalazite
06:59
in places where you get injections of unpredictable diversity?
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na mestima gde dobijate injekcije nepredvidive raznovrsnosti?
07:05
And my students give me some wonderful examples.
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A moji studenti mi daju neke predivne primere.
07:07
They tell me when they're doing pickup basketball games,
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Kažu mi da je to kada igraju košarku
07:10
or my favorite example is when they go to a dog park.
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ili, što je moj omiljeni primer, kada idu u park za pse.
07:13
They tell me it's even better than online dating when they're there.
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Kažu mi da je čak bolje od onlajn upoznavanja kada su tamo.
07:17
So the real thing that I want you to think about
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Dakle, zapravo želim da razmislite o tome
07:21
is we've got to fight our filters.
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da treba da se borimo protiv naših filtera.
07:23
We've got to make ourselves a little more inefficient,
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Treba da postanemo malo neefikasniji
07:26
and by doing so, we are creating a more imprecise social search engine.
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a tako stvaramo neprecizniji socijalni pretraživač.
07:31
And you're creating that randomness,
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Stvarate te slučajnosti, tu sreću
07:34
that luck that is going to cause you to widen your travels,
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koja će izazvati proširenje vaših putovanja
07:36
through your social universe.
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kroz vaš socijalni univerzum.
07:38
But in fact, there's more to it than that.
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Ali, u stvari, tu postoji više od toga.
07:41
Sometimes we actually buy ourselves a second-class ticket
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Ponekad zapravo kupujemo sebi kartu druge klase
07:46
to travel our social universe.
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za putovanje našim socijalnim univerzumom.
07:48
We are not courageous when we reach out to people.
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Nismo hrabri kada prilazimo ljudima.
07:52
Let me give you an example of that.
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Dozvolite mi da vam dam primer za to.
07:54
A few years ago, I had a very eventful year.
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Pre nekoliko godina, imala sam godinu prepunu događaja.
07:57
That year, I managed to lose a job,
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Te godine sam uspela da izgubim posao,
08:00
I managed to get a dream job overseas and accept it,
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da dobijem posao iz snova u inostranstvu i da ga prihvatim.
08:03
I had a baby the next month,
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Dobila sam bebu sledećeg meseca.
08:05
I got very sick,
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Veoma sam se razbolela.
08:06
I was unable to take the dream job.
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Nisam mogla da prihvatim posao iz snova.
08:09
And so in a few weeks, what ended up happening was,
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Tako, u narednih nekoliko nedelja, na kraju se desilo
08:12
I lost my identity as a faculty member,
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da sam izgubila identitet kao član fakulteta
08:15
and I got a very stressful new identity as a mother.
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i dobila sam veoma stresni novi identitet kao majka.
08:18
What I also got was tons of advice from people.
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Ono što sam takođe dobila je tona saveta od ljudi.
08:21
And the advice I despised more than any other advice was,
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A savet koji sam prezirala više od bilo kog drugog je:
08:24
"You've got to go network with everybody."
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„Treba da se umrežiš sa svima.“
08:26
When your psychological world is breaking down,
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Kada se vaš psihološki svet ruši,
08:29
the hardest thing to do is to try and reach out
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najteža stvar koju treba da uradite je da pokušate, posegnete
08:32
and build up your social world.
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i sagradite svoj društveni svet.
08:34
And so we studied exactly this idea on a much larger scale.
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Zato smo proučavali upravo ovu ideju na mnogo višem nivou.
08:39
What we did was we looked at high and low socioeconomic status people,
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Posmatrali smo ljude sa visokim i niskim socioekonomskim statusom,
08:45
and we looked at them in two situations.
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a posmatrali smo ih u dve situacije.
08:47
We looked at them first in a baseline condition,
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Posmatrali smo ih prvo u osnovnim uslovima,
08:50
when they were quite comfortable.
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gde su se osećali prilično sigurno.
08:52
And what we found was that our lower socioeconomic status people,
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I otkrili smo da naši ljudi sa nižim socioekonomskim statusom,
08:55
when they were comfortable, were actually reaching out to more people.
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kada su se osećali prijatno, zapravo su dopirali do više ljudi.
Mislili su na više ljudi.
08:59
They thought of more people.
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09:00
They were also less constrained in how they were networking.
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Takođe su bili manje ograničeni u tome kako se umrežavaju.
09:03
They were thinking of more diverse people
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Mislili su na više različitih ljudi od ljudi višeg statusa.
09:05
than the higher-status people.
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Onda smo ih pitali da razmisle o tome da možda izgube posao.
09:07
Then we asked them to think about maybe losing a job.
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09:10
We threatened them.
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Ugrozili smo ih.
09:11
And once they thought about that,
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I kada su počeli da razmišljaju o tome,
09:13
the networks they generated completely differed.
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mreža koju su stvorili kompletno se promenila.
09:16
The lower socioeconomic status people reached inwards.
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Ljudi sa nižim socioekonomskim statusom povukli su se ka unutra.
09:20
They thought of fewer people.
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Mislili su na manje ljudi.
09:21
They thought of less-diverse people.
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Mislili su o manje različitim ljudima.
09:24
The higher socioeconomic status people thought of more people,
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Ljudi sa višim socioekonomskim statusom razmišljali su o više ljudi,
09:27
they thought of a broader network,
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na širu mrežu,
09:29
they were positioning themselves to bounce back from that setback.
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pozicionirali su se tako da mogu da odskoče iz te postavke.
09:34
Let's consider what this actually means.
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Hajde da razmotrimo šta to zapravo znači.
09:37
Imagine that you were being spontaneously unfriended
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Zamislite da vas iznenada ostave
09:41
by everyone in your network
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svi prijatelji iz vaše mreže
09:44
other than your mom, your dad and your dog.
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osim vaše mame, tate i psa.
09:48
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
09:49
This is essentially what we are doing
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To u suštini mi radimo
09:51
at these moments when we need our networks the most.
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u tim trenucima kada nam najviše treba naša mreža.
09:56
Imagine -- this is what we're doing. We're doing it to ourselves.
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Zamislite - to je ono što mi radimo. Mi to radimo sami sebi.
09:59
We are mentally compressing our networks
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Mentalno potiskujemo naše mreže
10:01
when we are being harassed, when we are being bullied,
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kada nas uznemiravaju, maltretiraju,
10:03
when we are threatened about losing a job,
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kada nam preti gubitak posla,
10:06
when we feel down and weak.
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kada se osećamo loše i slabo.
10:08
We are closing ourselves off, isolating ourselves,
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Mi se zatvaramo, izolujemo sebe,
10:11
creating a blind spot where we actually don't see our resources.
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kreiramo slepu tačku gde zapravo ne vidimo naše resurse.
10:15
We don't see our allies, we don't see our opportunities.
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Ne vidimo naše saveznike, ne vidimo naše prilike.
10:18
How can we overcome this?
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Kako da prevaziđemo ovo?
10:20
Two simple strategies.
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Dve jednostavne strategije.
10:21
One strategy is simply to look at your list of Facebook friends
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Jedna je da jednostavno pogledate svoju listu prijatelja sa Fejsbuka
10:25
and LinkedIn friends
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i Linkedina,
10:26
just so you remind yourself of people who are there
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samo da se podsetite na ljude koji su tamo
10:29
beyond those that automatically come to mind.
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pored onih koji vam automatski prođu kroz glavu.
10:32
And in our own research, one of the things we did was,
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U našem istraživanju, jedna od stvari koje smo radili je da smo razmatrali
10:35
we considered Claude Steele's research on self-affirmation:
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istraživanje Kloda Stila o samoprihvatanju:
10:38
simply thinking about your own values,
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jednostavno razmišljajte o sopstvenim vrednostima,
10:41
networking from a place of strength.
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umrežite se sa snažnog mesta.
10:43
What Leigh Thompson, Hoon-Seok Choi and I were able to do is,
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Ono što smo Li Tompson, Hun-Suk Čoi i ja bili u mogućnosti da uradimo
10:46
we found that people who had affirmed themselves first
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je da smo otkrili da ljudi koji su prihvatili sebe prvo
10:49
were able to take advice from people
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bili sposobni da poslušaju savet ljudi
10:51
who would otherwise be threatening to them.
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koji bi drugačije bili pretnja po njih.
10:54
Here's a last exercise.
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Evo i poslednje vežbe.
10:57
I want you to look in your email in-box,
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Želim da pogledate u inboks svog imejla
11:00
and I want you to look at the last time you asked somebody for a favor.
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i da pogledate kada ste poslednji put pitali nekoga za uslugu.
11:04
And I want you to look at the language that you used.
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Želim da obratite pažnju na rečnik koji ste koristili.
11:06
Did you say things like,
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Da li ste rekli stvari kao što su:
11:08
"Oh, you're a great resource,"
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„O, ti si veliki izvor“
11:10
or "I owe you one,"
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ili „Dužan sam ti“,
11:11
"I'm obligated to you."
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„Zadužio si me“?
11:13
All of this language represents a metaphor.
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Sve ove fraze predstavljaju metaforu.
11:16
It's a metaphor of economics,
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To je metafora ekonomije,
11:18
of a balance sheet, of accounting,
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izbalansiranih tabela, računovođa,
11:20
of transactions.
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transakcija.
11:22
And when we think about human relations in a transactional way,
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Kada razmišljamo o ljudskim vezama na transakcioni način,
11:25
it is fundamentally uncomfortable to us as human beings.
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to nam je u osnovi nelagodno kao ljudskim bićima.
11:29
We must think about human relations and reaching out to people
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Treba da razmišljamo i o ljudskim odnosima i dopiranju do ljudi na ljudskije načine.
11:33
in more humane ways.
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11:35
Here's an idea as to how to do so.
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Evo ideje kako to i da uradimo.
11:37
Look at words like "please," "thank you," "you're welcome" in other languages.
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Obratite pažnju na reči „molim“, „hvala“, „nema na čemu“ u drugim jezicima.
Obratite pažnju na bukvalan prevod ovih reči.
11:43
Look at the literal translation of these words.
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11:45
Each of these words is a word that helps us impose upon other people
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Svaka od ovih reči nam pomaže da se nametnemo drugim ljudima
11:49
in our social networks.
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u našim socijalnim mrežama.
11:50
And so, the word "thank you,"
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I tako je reč „hvala“,
11:52
if you look at it in Spanish, Italian, French,
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ukoliko je potražite na španskom, italijanskom, francuskom,
11:55
"gracias," "grazie," "merci" in French.
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„gracias“, „grazie“, „merci“ na francuskom.
11:58
Each of them are "grace" and "mercy."
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Svaka od njih označava naklonost i milost.
12:00
They are godly words.
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To su božanske reči.
12:02
There's nothing economic or transactional about those words.
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Ne postoji ništa ekonomsko ili transakciono u tim rečima.
12:06
The word "you're welcome" is interesting.
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Fraza „nema na čemu“ je interesantna.
12:08
The great persuasion theorist Robert Cialdini says
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Veliki teoretičar ubeđivanja, Robert Saldini, kaže:
„Treba da dobijemo naše usluge nazad.“
12:11
we've got to get our favors back.
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12:12
So we need to emphasize the transaction a little bit more.
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Zato treba da transakciju naglasimo malo više.
12:15
He says, "Let's not say 'You're welcome.'
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On kaže: „Hajde da ne kažemo 'nema na čemu'.
12:17
Instead say, 'I know you'd do the same for me.'"
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Umesto toga recite: 'Znam da ćeš ti uraditi isto za mene.'“
12:20
But sometimes it may be helpful to not think in transactional ways,
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Ali ponekad bi možda bilo od pomoći da ne razmišljamo na transakcione načine,
12:24
to eliminate the transaction, to make it a little bit more invisible.
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da eliminišemo transakciju, da je učinimo malo više nevidljivom.
12:28
And in fact, if you look in Chinese,
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U stvari, ukoliko pogledate na kineskom,
12:30
the word "bú kè qì" in Chinese, "You're welcome," means,
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fraza „bu ka dži", na kineskom „nema na čemu“, znači:
12:33
"Don't be formal; we're family. We don't need to go through those formalities."
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„Nemoj biti formalan; mi smo porodica.
Ne treba da prolazimo kroz te formalnosti.“
12:37
And "kembali" in Indonesian is "Come back to me."
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A „kambali“ na indonežanskom znači „vrati mi se“.
12:41
When you say "You're welcome" next time,
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Kada kažete „nema na čemu“ sledeći put,
12:43
think about how you can maybe eliminate the transaction
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mislite o tome kako možda možete da eliminišete transakciju
12:46
and instead strengthen that social tie.
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i umesto toga ojačate tu socijalnu vezu.
12:49
Maybe "It's great to collaborate," or "That's what friends are for."
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Možda: „Sjajno je sarađivati“ ili: „Tome prijatelji služe.“
12:54
I want you to think about how you think about this ticket that you have
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Želim da razmislite o tome kako razmišljate o toj karti koju imate
12:59
to travel your social universe.
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da putujete vašim socijalnim univerzumom.
13:01
Here's one metaphor.
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Evo još jedne metafore.
13:03
It's a common metaphor: "Life is a journey." Right?
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To je uobičajena metafora: „život je putovanje“. Zar ne?
13:05
It's a train ride,
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To je vožnja vozom,
13:06
and you're a passenger on the train,
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a vi ste putnik u vozu
13:09
and there are certain people with you.
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i tu su određeni ljudi sa vama.
13:11
Certain people get on this train,
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Određeni ljudi ukrcavaju se na ovaj voz
13:13
and some stay with you, some leave at different stops,
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i neki ostaju sa vama, neki odlaze na različitim stanicama,
13:15
new ones may enter.
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novi se mogu ukrcati.
13:17
I love this metaphor, it's a beautiful one.
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Ja volim ovu metaforu; prelepa je.
13:19
But I want you to consider a different metaphor.
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Ali želim da razmotrite drugačiju metaforu.
13:22
This one is passive, being a passenger on that train,
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Ova je pasivna - biti putnik u vozu,
13:25
and it's quite linear.
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i prilično je linearna.
13:27
You're off to some particular destination.
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Uputili ste se ka nekom posebnom odredištu.
13:30
Why not instead think of yourself
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Zašto ne biste umesto toga razmišljali o sebi
13:32
as an atom,
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kao o atomu
13:34
bumping up against other atoms,
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koji se sudara sa drugim atomima,
13:36
maybe transferring energy with them,
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možda razmenjuje energiju sa njima,
13:38
bonding with them a little
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zbližava se sa njima malo
13:39
and maybe creating something new
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i možda stvara nešto novo
13:41
on your travels through the social universe.
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na vašim putovanjima kroz socijalni univerzum.
13:44
Thank you so much.
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Hvala vam puno.
13:45
And I hope we bump into each other again.
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I nadam se da ćemo nabasati jedni na druge ponovo.
13:47
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

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