7 common questions about workplace romance | The Way We Work, a TED series

Translator: Leslie Gauthier Reviewer: Krystian Aparta

Prevodilac: Kristina Radosavljević Lektor: Ivana Krivokuća

Workplace romance can be a tricky topic.

Romansa na radnom mestu može biti nezgodna tema.

(Music)

(Muzika)

[The Way We Work]

(Način na koji radimo)

How do we manage the boundaries

Kako postavljamo granice

između ličnog i profesionalnog života?

between our personal and professional lives?

How do we deal with gender imbalances and power dynamics in the workplace?

Kako se nosimo sa polnom neravnotežom i dinamikom snaga na radnom mestu?

There's a lot of gray area in workplace romance.

Mnogo je sivih zona kada govorimo o vezi na radnom mestu.

I'd like to take a few minutes

Odvojiću nekoliko minuta

and answer some of your frequently asked questions.

i odgovoriti na neke od vaših često postavljenih pitanja.

So, question one: Should I date my coworker?

Prvo pitanje: „Da li treba da izlazim sa svojim kolegom?“

Uh ... it depends.

Uh... zavisi.

Do you want to date your coworker for a bit of fun?

Da li želite da izađete sa kolegom zabave radi?

Do you want to date your coworker to hook up?

Da li želite da izađete sa kolegom zbog neobavezne veze?

Because then you're really better off on Tinder.

U tom slučaju, bolje probajte sa Tinderom.

If you want to date your coworker

Ako želite da izađete sa kolegom

because you really, sincerely think you're falling in love with them

jer stvarno i iskreno mislite da ste se zaljubili,

or there's a real potential for a long-term, committed relationship,

ili da postoji stvarni potencijal za dugoročnu i posvećenu vezu,

maybe you should date your coworker.

možda bi trebalo da izađete sa njim.

Studies show that your coworkers are generally positive about it

Istraživanja pokazuju da kolege u principu odobravaju to,

if they perceive that you're falling in love

ukoliko primete da ste zaljubljeni

and genuinely care about each other.

i da vam je zaista stalo jedno do drugog.

It's when your coworkers sense that something else is in play --

Kada kolege osete da je nešto drugo u igri,

that can be disruptive.

to može biti ometajući faktor.

Question two:

Drugo pitanje: „Da li treba da izlazim sa svojim šefom?“

Should I date my boss?

In almost all cases, no, you should not date your boss,

U gotovo svim slučajevima, ne, ne treba da izlazite sa svojim šefom,

because now, you've got a power dynamic.

zato što tu imate dinamiku moći.

Kada postoji veza između nadređenog i podređenog,

When there's a relationship between a boss and a subordinate,

it generates a lot of negative feelings,

ona uključuje dosta negativnih emocija,

a te negativne emocije često padnu na teret osobi koja je na nižem položaju.

and the negative feelings tend to fall on the person

who's lower on the totem pole.

People usually assume some kind of favoritism,

Ljudi često pretpostavljaju neki oblik pristrasnosti,

some kind of inside knowledge,

neku vrstu dodatnih informacija,

and there can be resentment stirred up by that.

i mogu imati odbojnost prema tome.

There was a study published last year

Jedno istraživanje, objavljeno prošle godine,

that suggested dating a superior can even have a negative impact on your career.

pokazalo je da veza sa nadređenim može negativno uticati na vašu karijeru.

The researchers asked third-party evaluators online

Istraživači su pitali, onlajn, nezavisne ocenjivače

to imagine that they worked at a law firm.

da zamisle da rade u advokatskoj firmi.

They asked them to make recommendations on which employee should get picked

Od njih je zatraženo da preporuče koje kolege bi trebalo izabrati

for a special training program

za specijalni program obuke,

and which should get promoted to partner.

a koji treba da budu unapređeni u partnera.

They looked at credentials for imaginary employees,

Pregledali su dosijee izmišljenih zaposlenih,

and when it was stated that an employee had been dating

i kada bi ustanovili da se zaposleni viđa,

or was in a relationship with a superior,

ili da je u vezi sa nadređenim,

the evaluators were less likely to pick that person for the training program

ređe bi birali tu osobu

za program obuke ili unapređenje,

or the promotion,

even if they had the exact same credentials

čak i ako bi one imale iste akreditive

as someone who wasn't dating their boss.

kao neko drugi ko se nije viđao sa šefom.

The evaluators were also quick to dismiss their accomplishments.

Ocenjivači bi takođe veoma brzo odbacili sva njihova dostignuća.

Question three:

Treće pitanje:

Can I date someone who reports to me?

„Mogu li da se viđam sa nekim ko mi podnosi izveštaj?“

Still a big no.

I dalje veliko ne.

You may not feel like you're really the boss, right?

Ne osećate se baš kao šef, zar ne?

But you are, and there's a power dynamic there

Ali vi to jeste, i zbog toga postoji dinamika moći

that's simply not there for other couples.

koja ne postoji kod drugih parova.

If you really believe there is a sincere, honestly felt, personal connection

Ako zaista verujete da postoji iskreno osećanje, bliska veza

that would be lasting and meaningful,

koja bi mogla da bude dugovečna i smislena,

one of you may need to move,

jedno od vas će možda morati da ode,

and it shouldn't always be the person who's lower in the company pecking order.

i to ne bi trebalo uvek da bude osoba sa nižeg hijerarhijskog nivoa kompanije.

Question four:

Četvrto pitanje:

I've just started seeing a coworker.

„Upravo sam počela da se zabavljam sa kolegom.

How do we handle things?

Kako da se nosimo sa tim?“

I get this question a lot.

Često dobijam ovo pitanje.

"Are they dating? Are they not dating?"

„Da li se oni zabavljaju? Ili ne?”

Don't keep it a secret.

Nemojte to držati u tajnosti.

You don't have to make a big deal of it, but secrecy tends to be corrosive.

Ne morate od toga da pravite slona, ali tajnovitost ume da nanese štetu.

People tend to see workplace couples as a coalition or a unit,

Ljudi često vide parove na radnom mestu kao uniju ili celinu,

so try to make it clear to your coworkers that you're not the same person;

zato pokušajte da razjasnite kolegama da vi niste jedna osoba;

you love each other, but you are going to disagree.

vi se volite, ali se nećete slagati oko svega.

Question five:

Peto pitanje:

Why are coworkers often attracted to each other?

„Zašto se kolege često međusobno privlače?“

Well, the obvious answer is people tend to be attracted to each other

Očigledan odgovor na ovo pitanje je da ljude često privlače oni

the more time they spend together.

sa kojima provode dosta vremena.

But there's another ingredient that has to be added:

Ali uz to mora postojati još nešto.

attraction tends to happen

Privlačnost se dešava

when there's work that demands close collaboration.

kada rad zahteva blisku saradnju.

So imagine you have a big group project with a tight deadline

Zamislite da imate veliki projekat, sa kratkim rokom,

and you're working late nights and brainstorming ideas.

i radite do kasno u noć, razmenjujete ideje.

You look up, and across the table,

Pogledate, kad prekoputa vas,

one of your colleagues throws out a really great idea.

jedna od vaših koleginica da stvarno odličnu ideju.

You may feel something, and that's natural.

Možete osetiti nešto, što je potpuno prirodno.

We call this task interdependence.

Mi to zovemo međuzavisnost zadatka.

It's a ripe ground for attraction.

To je pogodno tlo za privlačnost.

The second reason why people at work are attracted to each other

Drugi razlog zašto ljudi na poslu privlače jedno drugo

je taj što su često veoma slični.

is they may often be similar to each other.

There's two old adages:

Postoje dve stare izreke:

"Birds of a feather flock together." And "Opposites attract."

„Svaka ptica svome jatu leti” i „Suprotnosti se privlače.”

Well, the psychological research suggests ...

Psihološka istraživanja ukazuju...

birds of a feather flock together,

svaka ptica svome jatu leti,

and we like people who are like us.

i mi volimo ljude koji su kao mi.

Question six:

My coworkers are flirting.

Šesto pitanje:

„Moje kolege flertuju.

I'm annoyed. What do I do?

To me nervira. Šta da radim?“

Some researchers argue that for people flirting at work,

Neki istraživači tvrde da je za ljude koji flertuju na poslu

flirting is good and it boosts creativity.

to dobro i povećava kreativnost.

But my own research suggests things are different

Ali moje lično istraživanje ukazuje da su stvari malo drugačije

for people who are watching or who are subjected to the flirting.

za one koji to posmatraju i za one sa kojima se flertuje.

It can be awkward, right?

Može biti malo čudno, zar ne?

Witnessing flirtation in the workplace creates a sense of not knowing the rules,

Prisustvovati flertovanju na poslu stvara osećaj da se ne znaju pravila,

not knowing what's going on,

da se ne zna šta se tačno dešava,

or maybe seeing something that you shouldn't be seeing.

ili da ste možda videli nešto što nije trebalo da vidite.

People who frequently witness flirting at work --

Ljudi koji su često svedoci flerta na poslu

they actually report feeling less satisfied in their jobs,

iskazuju da su manje zadovoljni na poslu,

and they feel less valued by their company.

i imaju osećaj da ih njihova kompanija manje ceni.

They're more likely to give a negative appraisal of the work environment,

Češće daju negativne ocene radnom okruženju,

and they may even consider leaving.

i mogu čak razmišljati o otkazu.

For women, this association can be even stronger.

Za žene je ovo osećanje još snažnije.

This appears to be the case

Ovo se dešava čak i u slučajevima

even when people report not being bothered by the flirting.

kada ljudi kažu da im ne smeta flert.

It's true even when they say they enjoy it.

Isto je čak i kada kažu da uživaju u tome.

So, a flirtatious environment really could be toxic.

Dakle, okruženje sa flertovanjem može stvarno biti toksično.

Question seven:

Sedmo pitanje:

Do I need a policy on workplace relationships?

„Da li su mi potrebna pravila o vezi na radnom mestu?“

You certainly need a policy on a sexual harassment,

Svakako su vam potrebna pravila o seksualnom uznemiravnju,

and I think most HR departments recognize that.

i mislim da većina odeljenja za ljudske resurse to prepoznaje.

But for the kind of consensual behavior we've been talking about,

Ali za ovu vrstu dobrovoljnog ponašanja o kojoj smo pričali, malo je drugačije.

it's a little different.

As much as people in HR would love to wave a magic wand

Ma koliko bi ljudi iz ljudskih resursa voleli da mahnu čarobnim štapićem

and say, "Thou shall not fall in love at work,"

i kažu: „Ne zaljubljujte se na poslu,”

it's just not realistic.

to jednostavno nije realno.

Emotional connection and sexuality is who we are.

Emotivne veze i seksualnost je ono što smo mi.

I kind of want you to flip the script a little bit.

Ja nekako želim da malo preokrenete stvari.

I encourage HR to really think more broadly

Ja podstičem ljudske resurse da razmišljaju šire

about their role in not necessarily stamping out office romance,

o svojoj ulozi, a ne nužno o suzbijanju kancelarijske romanse,

because I don't think that's realistic,

zato što mislim da je to nerealno,

but how do I help create a workplace climate and culture

nego kako da stvorimo poslovnu klimu i kulturu

where people feel respected for their individual contributions,

gde se ljudi osećaju poštovano zbog svojih ličnih zasluga,

not for their appearance or their gender,

a ne zbog svog izgleda, pola,

or their personal relationships?

ili ličnih veza.

So the larger question is,

Veće je pitanje:

how do you make sure people are valued and respected?

kako osigurati da su ljudi cenjeni i poštovani?