When do kids start to care about other people's opinions? | Sara Valencia Botto

Prevodilac: Ivana Krivokuća Lektor: Kristina Radosavljević

I'd like you to take a moment

Htela bih da na trenutak

and consider what you are wearing right now.

razmislite o odeći koju imate na sebi.

I have a deep, philosophical question for you.

Imam duboko filozofsko pitanje za vas.

Why are we not all wearing comfortable pajamas right now?

Zašto svi sada ne nosimo udobne pidžame?

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Well, I'm a psychologist and not a mind reader,

Pa, ja sam psiholog, a ne neko ko čita misli,

although many people think that's the same thing.

mada mnogi misle da je to isto.

I can bet you that your response is somewhere along the lines of,

Mogu da se kladim da je vaš odgovor nešto u smislu:

"I'm expected to not wear pj's in public"

„Od mene se očekuje da ne nosim pidžamu u javnosti“

or "I don't want people to think I am a slob."

ili „Neću da ljudi misle da sam aljkav.“

Either way, the fact that we all chose to wear business casual clothing,

Bilo kako bilo, činjenica da smo svi odabrali opušteniju poslovnu odeću

as opposed to our favorite pair of sweatpants,

umesto omiljene trenerke

is not a silly coincidence.

nije šašava slučajnost.

Instead, it reveals two defining human characteristics.

To u stvari otkriva dve osobine koje definišu ljude.

The first is that we are cognizant of what other people value,

Prva je da smo svesni onoga što drugi vrednuju,

like what they will approve or disapprove of,

na primer, šta odobravaju ili ne odobravaju,

such as not wearing pj's to these sorts of settings.

kao što je nenošenje pidžame na ovakvim dešavanjima.

And two, we've readily used this information to guide our behavior.

Druga je da spremno koristimo te podatke u upravljanju svojim ponašanjem.

Unlike many other species,

Za razliku od mnogih drugih vrsta,

humans are prone to tailor their behavior in the presence of others

ljudi su skloni da svoje ponašanje prilagode u prisustvu drugih

to garner approval.

kako bi dobili odobravanje.

We spend valuable time putting on make up,

Trošimo dragoceno vreme na šminkanje,

choosing the right picture and Instagram filter,

biranje odgovarajuće slike i filtera za Instagram,

and composing ideas that will undoubtedly change the world

i sastavljanje ideja koje će nesumnjivo promeniti svet

in 140 characters or less.

u 140 ili manje znakova.

Clearly, our concern with how other people will evaluate us

Očigledno je naša briga oko toga kako će nas drugi oceniti

is a big part of being human.

veliki deo ljudske prirode.

Despite this being a big human trait, however,

No, iako je ovo izražena ljudska osobina,

we know relatively little about when and how

znamo relativno malo o tome kada i kako

we come to care about the opinion of others.

nam postane bitno mišljenje drugih ljudi.

Now, this is a big question that requires many studies.

To je veliko pitanje koje iziskuje više istraživanja.

But the first step to uncovering this question

Ali prvi korak ka odgonetanju ovog pitanja

is to investigate when in development

je ispitivanje u kom trenutku u razvoju

we become sensitive to others' evaluations.

postajemo osetljivi na procene drugih.

I have spent the past four years at Emory University

Provela sam protekle četiri godine na Univerzitetu Emori

investigating how an infant,

istražujući kako se beba,

who has no problem walking around the grocery store in her onesie,

koja nema problem sa šetkanjem po prodavnici u bodiću,

develops into an adult that fears public speaking

razvije u odraslu osobu koja se boji javnog govora

for fear of being negatively judged.

iz straha da će neko o njoj negativno prosuđivati.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Now, this is usually a point when people ask me,

Ovde me obično ljudi pitaju:

"How do you investigate this question, exactly?

„Kako to tačno ispituješ?

Infants can't talk, right?"

Bebe ne mogu da govore, zar ne?“

Well, if my husband were up here right now,

Pa, da je moj muž sada ovde,

he would tell you that I interview babies,

rekao bih vam da ja intervjuišem bebe,

because he would rather not say that his wife experiments on children.

jer ne voli da kaže da njegova žena vrši eksperimente na deci.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

In reality, I design experiments for children,

U stvari, ja osmišljavam eksperimente za decu,

usually in the form of games.

obično u vidu igara.

Developmental psychologist Dr. Philippe Rochat and I

Razvojni psiholog dr Filip Rošat i ja

designed a "game" called "The Robot Task"

osmislili smo „igru“ pod imenom „robotski zadatak“

to explore when children would begin to be sensitive

da bismo istražili kada će deca postati osetljiva

to the evaluation of others.

na procene drugih.

Specifically, the robot task captures when children, like adults,

Konkretno, zadatak robota registruje kada deca, poput odraslih,

strategically modify their behavior when others are watching.

strateški menjaju ponašanje dok ih drugi gledaju.

To do this, we showed 14 to 24-month-old infants

Da bismo to uradili, pokazali smo deci uzrasta od 14 do 24 meseca

how to activate a toy robot,

kako da aktiviraju igračku robota,

and importantly, we either assigned a positive value,

i, što je važno, dodelili bismo ili pozitivnu vrednost,

saying "Wow, isn't that great!"

rekavši: „Vau, zar to nije divno!“

or a negative value, saying, "Oh, oh. Oops, oh no,"

ili negativnu vrednost, rekavši: „O, o. Ups, o, ne,“

after pressing the remote.

nakon što bismo ga uključili pomoću daljinskog.

Following this toy demonstration,

Nakon prikazivanja igračke,

we invited the infants to play with the remote,

nudili bismo deci da se igraju sa daljinskim,

and then either watched them

a zatim ih ili posmatrali

or turned around and pretended to read a magazine.

ili se okrenuli i pretvarali se da čitamo časopis.

The idea was that if by 24 months,

Ideja je bila da, ako su sa 24 meseca

children are indeed sensitive to the evaluation of others,

deca zaista osetljiva na procene drugih,

then their button-pressing behavior should be influenced

onda bi na njihovo pritiskanje dugmeta

trebalo da utiče ne samo to da li ih neko posmatra ili ne,

not only by whether or not they're being watched

but also by the values that the experimenter expressed

već i vrednosti koje je izrazio eksperimentator

towards pressing the remote.

prema pritiskanju daljinskog.

So for example,

Tako bismo, na primer,

we would expect children to play with the positive remote significantly more

očekivali da će se deca znatno više igrati sa pozitivnim daljinskim

ako ih neko posmatra,

if they were being observed

but then choose to explore the negative remote

ali da će odabrati da istražuju negativni daljinski kada ih niko ne gleda.

once no one was watching.

To really capture this phenomenon, we did three variations of the study.

Da bismo zaista obuhvatili ovu pojavu, sproveli smo tri varijacije studije.

Study one explored how infants would engage with a novel toy

Prva studija je izučavala kako bi se bebe bavile novom igračkom

if there were no values or instructions provided.

kada se ne izraze nikakve vrednosti niti daju uputstva.

So we simply showed infants how to activate the toy robot,

Jednostavno smo pokazali deci kako da aktiviraju robota,

but didn't assign any values,

ali nismo pridavali nikakvu vrednost,

and we also didn't tell them that they could play with the remote,

a nismo im ni rekli da mogu da se igraju sa daljinskim,

tako da smo obezbedili vrlo neodređenu situaciju.

providing them with a really ambiguous situation.

In study two,

U drugoj studiji

we incorporated the two values, a positive and a negative.

smo uveli dve vrednosti, pozitivnu i negativnu.

And in the last study, we had two experimenters and one remote.

A u poslednjoj studiji smo imali dva eksperimentatora i jedan daljinski.

One experimenter expressed a negative value towards pressing the remote,

Jedan eksperimentator je ispoljavao negativan stav prema daljinskom,

saying, "Yuck, the toy moved,"

rekavši: „Bljak, igračka se pomerila,“

while the other experimenter expressed a positive value, saying,

dok je drugi eksperimentator pokazivao pozitivan stav,

rekavši: „Jej, igračka se pomerila,“

"Yay, the toy moved."

And this is how the children reacted to these three different scenarios.

A deca su ovako reagovala na ova tri različita scenarija.

So in study one, the ambiguous situation,

U prvoj studiji, u neodređenoj situaciji,

I'm currently watching the child.

trenutno posmatram dete.

She doesn't seem to be too interested in pressing the remote.

Ona ne deluje mnogo zainteresovano da pritisne daljinski.

Once I turned around --

Kada se okrenem -

now she's ready to play.

sada je spremna da se igra.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Currently, I'm not watching the child.

Trenutno ne gledam dete.

She's really focused.

Vrlo je fokusirana.

I turn around.

Okrenem se.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

She wasn't doing anything, right?

Ništa nije radila, zar ne?

In study two, it's the two remotes,

U drugoj studiji imamo dva daljinca,

one with the positive and one with the negative value.

jedan pozitivno, drugi negativno ocenjen.

I'm currently observing the child.

Trenutno posmatram dete.

And the orange remote is a negative remote.

Narandžasti daljinski je negativan.

She's just looking around, looking at me, hanging out.

Ona samo gleda okolo, gleda u mene, vrzma se.

Then I turn around ...

Kada se okrenem...

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

That's what she's going for.

Kreće da ga uzme.

I'm not watching the child.

Ja ne gledam dete.

He wants the mom to play with it, right?

On hoće da se mama igra sa njim, je l' da?

Take a safer route.

Odlučuje se za sigurniji put.

I turn around ...

Okrenem se...

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

He wasn't doing anything, either.

Ni on ništa nije radio.

Yeah, he feels awkward.

Da, neprijatno mu je.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Everyone knows that side-eyed glance, right?

Svima je poznat taj pogled sa strane, zar ne?

Study three, the two experimenters, one remote.

Treća studija, dva eksperimentatora, jedan daljinski.

The experimenter that reacted negatively towards pressing the remote

Eksperimentator koji je negativno reagovao na pritiskanje daljinskog

is watching the child right now.

upravo posmatra dete.

She feels a little awkward, doesn't know what to do, relying on Mom.

Malo joj je neprijatno, ne zna šta da radi, oslanja se na mamu.

And then, she's going to turn around

Zatim se okreće

so that the experimenter that expressed a positive response is watching.

tako da posmatra eksperimentator koji je ispoljio pozitivnu reakciju.

Coast is clear -- now she's ready to play.

Opasnost je prošla, sada je spremna za igru.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So, as the data suggests,

Dakle, kako podaci ukazuju,

we found that children's button-pressing behavior

otkrili smo da na ponašanje dece vezano za pritiskanje dugmeta

was indeed influenced by the values and the instructions of the experimenter.

zaista utiču vrednosti i uputstva eksperimentatora.

Because in study one, children did not know

Jer, u prvoj studiji, gde deca nisu znala

what would be positively or negatively evaluated,

da će nešto biti pozitivno ili negativno procenjeno,

they tended to take the safest route

bila su sklona da odaberu najsigurniju opciju

and wait until I turned my back to press the remote.

i čekaju da okrenem leđa da bi pritisnula dugme.

Children in study two

Deca u drugoj studiji

chose to press the positive remote significantly more when I was watching,

birala su da pritisnu pozitivan daljinski znatno češće kada sam gledala,

but then once I turned my back,

ali čim bih okrenula leđa,

they immediately took the negative remote and started playing with it.

odmah bi uzela negativni daljinski i počela da se igraju njim.

Importantly, in a control study,

Važno je da, u kontrolnoj studiji,

where we removed the different values of the remotes --

kada smo uklonili različite vrednosti daljinskog -

so we simply said, "Oh, wow" after pressing either of the remotes --

tako da smo prosto govorili: „O, vau“ nakon pritiskanja bilo kog daljinskog -

children's button-pressing behavior no longer differed across conditions,

pritiskanje dugmeta se kod dece više nije razlikovalo u različitim situacijama,

suggesting that it was really the values that we gave the two remotes

što ukazuje da vrednosti koje smo pridavali daljinskim upravljačima

that drove the behavior in the previous study.

zaista jesu upravljale ponašanjem u prethodnoj studiji.

Last but not least,

Poslednje, ali ne najmanje bitno,

children in study three chose to press a remote significantly more

deca u trećoj studiji birala su da pritisnu daljinski znatno češće

when the experimenter that expressed a positive value was watching,

kada bi ih gledao eksperimentator koji je ispoljio pozitivnu vrednost,

as opposed to the experimenter that had expressed a negative value.

u odnosu na eksperimentatora koji je ispoljio negativnu vrednost.

Not coincidentally,

Nije slučajno

it is also around this age that children begin to show embarrassment

da približno u ovom uzrastu deca počinju da pokazuju da ih je sramota

in situations that might elicit a negative evaluation,

u situacijama koje mogu izazvati negativnu procenu,

such as looking at themselves in the mirror

kao kada se ogledaju

and noticing a mark on their nose.

i primete mrlju na nosu.

The equivalent of finding spinach in your teeth, for adults.

Isto kao kad odrasli pronađu spanać u zubima.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So what can we say, based on these findings?

Dakle, šta možemo zaključiti na osnovu ovih nalaza?

Besides the fact that babies are actually really, really sneaky.

Pored činjenice da su bebe vrlo lukave.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

From very early on, children, like adults,

Deca su, kao i odrasli, od vrlo ranog uzrasta

are sensitive to the values that we place on objects and behaviors.

osetljiva na vrednosti koje pripisujemo predmetima i aktivnostima.

And importantly, they use these values to guide their behavior.

I bitna stvar je da koriste te vrednosti u usmeravanju ponašanja.

Whether we're aware of it or not,

Bilo da smo svesni toga ili ne,

we're constantly communicating values to those around us.

neprestano prenosimo vrednosti u komunikaciji sa ljudima oko nas.

Now, I don't mean values like "be kind" or "don't steal,"

Ne mislim na vrednosti tipa „budi ljubazan“ ili „ne kradi“,

although those are certainly values.

mada to svakako jesu vrednosti.

I mean that we are constantly showing others, specifically our children,

Mislim na to da stalno pokazujemo drugima, a naročito svojoj deci,

what is likeable, valuable and praiseworthy, and what is not.

šta je dopadljivo, korisno i pohvalno, a šta nije.

And a lot of the times,

Često to radimo a da i ne primetimo.

we actually do this without even noticing it.

Psychologists study behavior to explore the contents of the mind,

Psiholozi proučavaju ponašanje kako bi istražili sadržaje uma,

because our behavior often reflects our beliefs,

jer naše ponašanje često odražava naša uverenja,

our values and our desires.

naše vrednosti i želje.

Here in Atlanta, we all believe the same thing.

Ovde u Atlanti, svi verujemo u istu stvar.

That Coke is better than Pepsi.

Da je koka-kola bolja od pepsija.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Now, this might have to do with the fact that Coke was invented in Atlanta.

To možda ima veze sa činjenicom da je koka-kola nastala u Atlanti.

But regardless,

No, kako god,

this belief is expressed in the fact that most people will chose to drink Coke.

to uverenje odražava činjenica da većina ljudi bira da pije koka-kolu.

In the same way,

Isto tako,

we are communicating a value

prenosimo vrednost

when we mostly complement girls

kada devojčicama većinom dajemo komplimente

for their pretty hair or their pretty dress,

zbog lepe kose ili haljine,

but boys, for their intelligence.

a dečacima zbog inteligencije.

Or when we chose to offer candy, as opposed to nutritious food,

Ili kada ponudimo slatkiš, umesto zdrave hrane,

as a reward for good behavior.

kao nagradu za dobro ponašanje.

Adults and children are incredibly effective

Odrasli i deca neverovatno efikasno

at picking up values from these subtle behaviors.

pokupe vrednosti iz tih suptilnih aktivnosti.

I to potom oblikuje njihovo ponašanje.

And in turn, this ends up shaping their own behavior.

The research I have shared with you today

Istraživanje koje sam danas podelila sa vama

suggests that this ability emerges very early in development,

ukazuje da se ova sposobnost javlja vrlo rano u razvoju,

pre nego što naučimo da izgovorimo celu rečenicu,

before we can even utter a complete sentence

or are even potty-trained.

čak i pre nego što se odviknemo od pelena.

And it becomes an integral part of who we grow up to be.

I to postaje sastavni deo osobe u koju odrastamo.

So before I go,

Pre nego što odem,

I'd like to invite you to contemplate on the values

pozvala bih vas da razmislite o vrednostima

that we broadcast in day-to-day interactions,

koje emitujemo u svakodnevnim interakcijama

and how these values might be shaping the behavior of those around you.

i o tome kako te vrednosti možda oblikuju ponašanje ljudi oko vas.

For example, what value is being broadcasted

Na primer, kakva se vrednost odašilje

when we spend more time smiling at our phone

kada više vremena provodimo smejući se uz telefon

than smiling with other people?

nego smejući se sa drugim ljudima?

Likewise, consider how your own behavior has been shaped by those around you,

Isto tako, razmotrite kako ljudi oko vas oblikuju vaše ponašanje,

in ways you might not have considered before.

na načine o kojima možda pre niste razmišljali.

To go back to our simple illustration,

Da se ​​vratimo našoj jednostavnoj ilustraciji,

do you really prefer Coke over Pepsi?

da li zaista više volite koka-kolu nego pepsi?

Or was this preference simply driven by what others around you valued?

Ili je tu sklonost jednostavno podstaklo ono što cene ljudi oko vas?

Parents and teachers certainly have the privilege

Roditelji i nastavnici svakako imaju privilegiju

to shape children's behavior.

da oblikuju ponašanje dece.

But it is important to remember

Ali važno je upamtiti

that through the values we convey in simple day-to-day interactions,

da kroz vrednosti koje saopštavamo u jednostavnim svakodnevnim interakcijama,

we all have the power to shape the behavior of those around us.

svi mi imamo moć da oblikujemo ponašanje ljudi oko nas.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)