When do kids start to care about other people's opinions? | Sara Valencia Botto

譯者: Yixuan Chen 審譯者: Thomas Tam

I'd like you to take a moment

我想請你花一點時間

and consider what you are wearing right now.

想想你現在所穿的是什麼

I have a deep, philosophical question for you.

我有一個深刻的哲學問題想問你

為什麼我們現在 都沒有穿著舒服的睡衣？

Why are we not all wearing comfortable pajamas right now?

(Laughter)

（笑）

Well, I'm a psychologist and not a mind reader,

我是個心理學家 可不是個會讀心術的人

although many people think that's the same thing.

雖然很多人都覺得那是同一回事

I can bet you that your response is somewhere along the lines of,

我打賭你的回答 會是接下來的這句話：

"I'm expected to not wear pj's in public"

「我可不想在公共場合穿睡衣」

or "I don't want people to think I am a slob."

或者：「我不想 讓別人認爲我是個懶人」

Either way, the fact that we all chose to wear business casual clothing,

無論你的答案是什麽，事實上 我們全部都選擇穿著半正式服飾

as opposed to our favorite pair of sweatpants,

而不是我們最喜歡的一條運動褲

is not a silly coincidence.

並不是個傻乎乎的巧合

Instead, it reveals two defining human characteristics.

相反，它揭示了兩個人類特徵

The first is that we are cognizant of what other people value,

首先我們瞭解到別人的價值觀是什麽

like what they will approve or disapprove of,

就像他們會贊成或不贊成某件事

such as not wearing pj's to these sorts of settings.

比如在某些場合不穿睡衣

And two, we've readily used this information to guide our behavior.

第二，我們很容易以這樣的信息 指導我們的行為

Unlike many other species,

與其他任何種類不同

humans are prone to tailor their behavior in the presence of others

人類很容易在別人面前 調整自己的行爲

to garner approval.

以獲得別人的讚許

We spend valuable time putting on make up,

我們花費寶貴的時間化妝

choosing the right picture and Instagram filter,

選擇正確的圖片和 IG 濾鏡

and composing ideas that will undoubtedly change the world

並且寫下那些無疑會改變世界的想法

in 140 characters or less.

但是得在 140 字以内

Clearly, our concern with how other people will evaluate us

顯而易見的是 關心別人怎樣評價我們

is a big part of being human.

是人類的重要組成部分

Despite this being a big human trait, however,

儘管這是人類的一大特點

我們卻相對較少瞭解 我們什麼時候開始

we know relatively little about when and how

以及為什麼會關心別人的想法

we come to care about the opinion of others.

Now, this is a big question that requires many studies.

這是一個需要許多研究的龐大議題

But the first step to uncovering this question

但是解開這個問題的第一步

is to investigate when in development

是在逐漸成長的過程中調查

we become sensitive to others' evaluations.

我們是從什麽時候 對別人的評價開始敏感

I have spent the past four years at Emory University

我花了過去的四年時間在埃默里大學

investigating how an infant,

研究原本可以在雜貨店內大大方方地 穿著連身衣亂跑的嬰兒

who has no problem walking around the grocery store in her onesie,

develops into an adult that fears public speaking

怎樣成長為一個因懼怕被負面評價 而害怕在公共場合説話的成年人

for fear of being negatively judged.

(Laughter)

（笑）

Now, this is usually a point when people ask me,

這通常是人們會問我的問題：

"How do you investigate this question, exactly?

「你到底是怎樣調查這個問題？

Infants can't talk, right?"

嬰兒不會説話，對吧？」

Well, if my husband were up here right now,

好吧， 如果我丈夫現在出現在這裏

he would tell you that I interview babies,

他會告訴你我真的是訪問寶寶

because he would rather not say that his wife experiments on children.

因為他不會想說 他的妻子用孩子做實驗

(Laughter)

（笑）

In reality, I design experiments for children,

其實， 我給孩子們設計的實驗

usually in the form of games.

通常是以遊戲的形式實行的

Developmental psychologist Dr. Philippe Rochat and I

發展心理學家菲利普·羅莎博士與我

designed a "game" called "The Robot Task"

設計了一個叫做 「機器人的任務」的「遊戲」

to explore when children would begin to be sensitive

用來探索什麽時候孩子們會開始

to the evaluation of others.

對別人的評價變得敏感

Specifically, the robot task captures when children, like adults,

具體來説，機器人的任務 能夠捕捉到孩子像成人一樣

strategically modify their behavior when others are watching.

當別人在注視他們時 戰略性地改變他們的行爲

做實驗時，我們向 14 至 24 個月大的嬰兒展示

To do this, we showed 14 to 24-month-old infants

how to activate a toy robot,

怎樣啟動一個玩具機器人

and importantly, we either assigned a positive value,

並且更重要的是 我們要麼給一個正面的價值觀

saying "Wow, isn't that great!"

說：「哇，這個真棒」

or a negative value, saying, "Oh, oh. Oops, oh no,"

要麼給出個負面的價值觀說： 「 哦，糟糕，哦不」

after pressing the remote.

在按下遙控器後說

Following this toy demonstration,

在這個玩具示範之後

we invited the infants to play with the remote,

我們邀請嬰兒們玩遙控器

and then either watched them

然後要麼注視著他們

or turned around and pretended to read a magazine.

要麼轉過頭去假裝讀雜誌

這個設想是如果在 24 個月大時

The idea was that if by 24 months,

children are indeed sensitive to the evaluation of others,

幼兒確實對他人的評價敏感的話

then their button-pressing behavior should be influenced

那麼他們按遙控器的行爲 應該會被影響

not only by whether or not they're being watched

不僅因他們是否被注視而影響

but also by the values that the experimenter expressed

而且還因當他們按下遙控器時 實驗員表達出的評價所影響

towards pressing the remote.

So for example,

舉個例子

we would expect children to play with the positive remote significantly more

我們會看到孩子在被觀察時 明顯的多玩正面的遙控

if they were being observed

but then choose to explore the negative remote

但是當沒人注意他們時 他們會選擇玩負面的遙控

once no one was watching.

To really capture this phenomenon, we did three variations of the study.

為了真正捕捉到這個現象 我們做了三個不同版本的研究

Study one explored how infants would engage with a novel toy

第一個研究探討嬰兒如何在

沒有給出任何價值觀和指令時 使用一個新玩具

if there were no values or instructions provided.

So we simply showed infants how to activate the toy robot,

所以我們簡單向嬰兒 展示怎樣啟動玩具機器人

but didn't assign any values,

但是沒有給出任何的評價

and we also didn't tell them that they could play with the remote,

並且我們沒有告訴他們可以玩遙控器

這給他們提供了一個非常模糊的情況

providing them with a really ambiguous situation.

In study two,

在第二個研究中

we incorporated the two values, a positive and a negative.

我們將兩個價值觀結合起來 一個正面的，和一個負面的

And in the last study, we had two experimenters and one remote.

在最後一個研究中 我們設置了兩個實驗員和一個遙控器

One experimenter expressed a negative value towards pressing the remote,

一個實驗員對按遙控器的行爲 給出負面的價值觀

saying, "Yuck, the toy moved,"

說：「糟糕，玩具動了」

while the other experimenter expressed a positive value, saying,

而另一個實驗員 給出正面價值觀時說：

「吔，玩具動了」

"Yay, the toy moved."

And this is how the children reacted to these three different scenarios.

這就是孩子們 對三種不同場景的反應

So in study one, the ambiguous situation,

那麽在第一個研究中 在這個模糊不清的處境裏

I'm currently watching the child.

我正在看著這個孩子

She doesn't seem to be too interested in pressing the remote.

她看起來對按遙控器不太感興趣

Once I turned around --

一旦我轉過頭去

現在她已經準備好按遙控器了

now she's ready to play.

(Laughter)

（笑）

Currently, I'm not watching the child.

現在，我沒有注視孩子

She's really focused.

她真的很專注

I turn around.

我轉過來了

(Laughter)

（笑）

She wasn't doing anything, right?

她什麼也沒做了，對吧？

In study two, it's the two remotes,

在研究二中，是兩個遙控器的

one with the positive and one with the negative value.

一個是正面的，另一個是負面的

I'm currently observing the child.

我現在正在觀察這個孩子

And the orange remote is a negative remote.

橘色的遙控器是個負面遙控器

She's just looking around, looking at me, hanging out.

她僅僅是環顧四周，看看我，

Then I turn around ...

然後我轉過頭

(Laughter)

（笑）

That's what she's going for.

這就是她的目標

I'm not watching the child.

我沒有在看著孩子

He wants the mom to play with it, right?

他想讓媽媽陪他一起玩玩具，是吧？

Take a safer route.

真是很安全的一步棋

I turn around ...

我回頭

(Laughter)

（笑）

He wasn't doing anything, either.

他也什麼都不做了

Yeah, he feels awkward.

是啊，他覺得好尷尬

(Laughter)

（笑）

Everyone knows that side-eyed glance, right?

大家都看到那側眼一瞥了，是吧？

Study three, the two experimenters, one remote.

研究三，是兩個實驗員和一個遙控器

The experimenter that reacted negatively towards pressing the remote

對按遙控器表現出負面態度的 實驗員看著孩子時

is watching the child right now.

She feels a little awkward, doesn't know what to do, relying on Mom.

她看起來有一小點尷尬 靠在媽媽身上不知道該做什麽

And then, she's going to turn around

然後，實驗員轉過頭去

so that the experimenter that expressed a positive response is watching.

所以只有表現正面回應的 實驗員在注視著孩子

Coast is clear -- now she's ready to play.

危險已經過去了，她開始行動了

(Laughter)

（笑）

So, as the data suggests,

因此，正如數據所示

we found that children's button-pressing behavior

我們發現兒童按遙控器的行爲

was indeed influenced by the values and the instructions of the experimenter.

確實是被實驗員的 價值觀與指令所影響

Because in study one, children did not know

因為在研究一裡，孩子們不知道

what would be positively or negatively evaluated,

什麼是肯定的或否定的評價

they tended to take the safest route

他們傾向於採取最安全的路徑

and wait until I turned my back to press the remote.

並且等到我轉過頭去才按下遙控器

Children in study two

在第二個研究中的孩子們

chose to press the positive remote significantly more when I was watching,

當我注意的時候，他們選擇按下 正面遙控器的次數明顯更多

but then once I turned my back,

但是只要我一轉過身

they immediately took the negative remote and started playing with it.

他們便立即拿起並開始玩 負面的遙控器

Importantly, in a control study,

重要的是，在對照研究中

where we removed the different values of the remotes --

我們刪除了遙控器的不同價值

so we simply said, "Oh, wow" after pressing either of the remotes --

所以我們只是在按下 任意一個遙控器後說：「哦，哇」

children's button-pressing behavior no longer differed across conditions,

孩子們的按壓行為不再因條件而不同

suggesting that it was really the values that we gave the two remotes

表明我們給這兩個遙控器的評價

that drove the behavior in the previous study.

的確推動了之前研究中的行為

Last but not least,

最後但跟之前同樣重要的是

children in study three chose to press a remote significantly more

在第三個研究中 在表示正面的實驗員注視時

when the experimenter that expressed a positive value was watching,

孩子們選擇按下 遙控器的次數明顯更多

as opposed to the experimenter that had expressed a negative value.

而在負面價值觀的實驗員 注視時表現則相反

Not coincidentally,

這並非巧合

it is also around this age that children begin to show embarrassment

大概就在這個年齡上下

兒童在可能引起負面評價的情況下 開始表現出困窘

in situations that might elicit a negative evaluation,

such as looking at themselves in the mirror

比如在看鏡子裡的自己時

and noticing a mark on their nose.

發現他們鼻子上有個印記

The equivalent of finding spinach in your teeth, for adults.

對成年人來説相當於 看到卡在牙齒裡的菠菜葉

(Laughter)

（笑）

So what can we say, based on these findings?

那麼基於這些發現 我們可以得出什麽結論呢？

Besides the fact that babies are actually really, really sneaky.

除了嬰兒們其實都很狡猾這一事實

(Laughter)

（笑）

From very early on, children, like adults,

從很早開始，兒童就像成年人一樣

are sensitive to the values that we place on objects and behaviors.

對我們放置在目標 與行為上的價值很敏感

And importantly, they use these values to guide their behavior.

重要的是， 他們用這些價值觀 來指導他們的行為

Whether we're aware of it or not,

無論我們是否意識到

we're constantly communicating values to those around us.

我們總是在不斷地 向身邊的人傳達價值觀

Now, I don't mean values like "be kind" or "don't steal,"

現在，我不是在講像「行善」 或「不偷盜」這樣的價值觀

although those are certainly values.

雖然這些無疑都是價值觀

I mean that we are constantly showing others, specifically our children,

我想說的是，我們常常向他人 特別是我們的孩子

what is likeable, valuable and praiseworthy, and what is not.

展示什麼是討人喜歡的、有價值的 和可貴的，以及什麼不是

And a lot of the times,

並且很多時候

we actually do this without even noticing it.

實際上我們甚至 沒有注意到我們這樣做

Psychologists study behavior to explore the contents of the mind,

心理學家研究行為來探索内心

because our behavior often reflects our beliefs,

因為我們的行為經常反應我們的信念

our values and our desires.

我們的價值觀和我們的願望

Here in Atlanta, we all believe the same thing.

在亞特蘭大，我們都相信同樣的事情

That Coke is better than Pepsi.

可口可樂比百事可樂好

(Applause)

（鼓掌）

Now, this might have to do with the fact that Coke was invented in Atlanta.

這可能與可口可樂 是在亞特蘭大發明的事實有關

But regardless,

但無論如何

this belief is expressed in the fact that most people will chose to drink Coke.

這種信念表達的事實是 大多數人會選擇喝可口可樂

In the same way,

以同樣的方式

we are communicating a value

我們正在傳達價值觀

when we mostly complement girls

在多數情況我們讚美女孩時

for their pretty hair or their pretty dress,

會讚美她們漂亮的髮型 或漂亮的裙子

but boys, for their intelligence.

但是讚美男生時 會稱讚他們的聰明才智

Or when we chose to offer candy, as opposed to nutritious food,

或者當我們選擇給糖而不是營養品

as a reward for good behavior.

作為表現很好時的獎勵

Adults and children are incredibly effective

成人與兒童能非常有效的

at picking up values from these subtle behaviors.

從這些微妙的行為中獲取價值

And in turn, this ends up shaping their own behavior.

而到頭來，這最終會塑造自己的行為

The research I have shared with you today

今天我和大家所分享的這個研究

suggests that this ability emerges very early in development,

表明這種能力在成長的早期出現

before we can even utter a complete sentence

甚至早於我們可以說出 一個完整的句子

or are even potty-trained.

或者說甚至早於我們如厠訓練之前

And it becomes an integral part of who we grow up to be.

它成為我們成長中 一個不可或缺的部分

So before I go,

所以在我離開前

I'd like to invite you to contemplate on the values

我想邀請你思考一下

that we broadcast in day-to-day interactions,

我們在日復一日的生活中 應用的價值觀

and how these values might be shaping the behavior of those around you.

以及這些價值觀 可能怎樣塑造你平常的行爲

For example, what value is being broadcasted

例如，當我們花費大量時間 對著手機傻笑

when we spend more time smiling at our phone

而不是對別人微笑時

than smiling with other people?

什麽樣的價值觀正在上演

Likewise, consider how your own behavior has been shaped by those around you,

同樣的，考慮一下你身邊的人 如何塑造你的行為

in ways you might not have considered before.

並且是以你以往 都沒有想過的方式塑造

To go back to our simple illustration,

回到我們簡單的話題中去

do you really prefer Coke over Pepsi?

比較百事可樂，你真的 更喜歡可口可樂嗎？

Or was this preference simply driven by what others around you valued?

或者這種偏好只是因為 你身邊的人的觀點而驅使你這樣做？

Parents and teachers certainly have the privilege

老師們和家長們無疑是有特權

to shape children's behavior.

去塑造孩子們的行為

But it is important to remember

但是更重要的是要記得

that through the values we convey in simple day-to-day interactions,

通過我們在簡單的日常互動中 所傳達的價值觀

we all have the power to shape the behavior of those around us.

我們能夠有能力塑造 我們身邊的人的行為

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）