Lemn Sissay: A child of the state

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast

Traducător: Simona Sanda-Mir Corector: Ariana Bleau Lugo

Having spent 18 years as a child of the state

După 18 ani petrecuţi prin centre de plasament

in children's homes and foster care,

şi pe la asistenţi maternali,

you could say that I'm an expert on the subject,

s-ar putea spune că sunt expert în domeniu.

and in being an expert, I want to let you know that

În această calitate, ţin să precizez

being an expert does in no way make you right

că experţii nu deţin nicidecum

in light of the truth.

adevărul absolut.

If you're in care, legally the government is your

Dacă eşti copilul statului, guvernul ţi-e părinte,

parent, loco parentis.

din punct de vedere juridic, loco parentis.

Margaret Thatcher was my mother. (Laughter)

Margaret Thatcher a fost mama mea. (Râsete)

Let's not talk about breastfeeding. (Laughter)

Prefer să nu vorbim despre alăptare. (Râsete)

Harry Potter was a foster child.

Harry Potter era orfan.

Pip from "Great Expectations" was adopted;

Pip, din romanul „Marile Speranţe”, era adoptat.

Superman was a foster child;

Superman era orfan.

Cinderella was a foster child;

Cenuşăreasa era orfană de mamă.

Lisbeth Salander, the girl with the dragon tattoo,

Lisbeth Salander, fata cu tatuajul cu dragon,

was fostered and institutionalized;

era un copil orfan, instituţionalizat;

Batman was orphaned;

Batman rămăsese orfan;

Lyra Belacqua from Philip Pullman's "Northern Lights"

Lyra Belacqua, din romanul lui Philip Pullman „Compasul de aur”,

was fostered;

era orfană.

Jane Eyre, adopted;

Jane Eyre, adoptată;

Roald Dahl's James from "James and the Giant Peach;"

James, din romanul lui Roald Dahl „James şi piersica uriaşă”;

Matilda; Moses -- Moses! (Laughter)

Matilda; Moise! (Râsete)

Moses! (Laughter) --

Moise! (Râsete)

the boys in Michael Morpurgo's "Friend or Foe;"

Băieţii din „Prieten sau duşman” de Michael Morpurgo;

Alem in Benjamin Zephaniah's "Refugee Boy;"

Alem din „Refugiatul” de Benjamin Zephaniah;

Luke Skywalker --

Luke Skywalker,

Luke Skywalker! (Laughter) --

Luke Skywalker! (Râsete)

Oliver Twist;

Oliver Twist;

Cassia in "The Concubine of Shanghai" by Hong Ying;

Cassia, din „Concubina din Shangai” de Hong Ying;

Celie in Alice Walker's "The Color Purple."

Celie, din „Culoarea violet” de Alice Walker.

All of these great fictional characters, all of them

Toate aceste mari personaje,

who were hurt by their condition,

care au suferit din pricina condiţiei lor,

all of them who spawned thousands of other books

şi au inspirat mii de alte cărţi şi filme,

and other films, all of them

spun povestea unor copii

were fostered, adopted or orphaned.

rămaşi orfani, crescuţi de părinţi adoptivi sau vitregi.

It seems that writers know that the child

Scriitorii au intuit că, rămaşi fără familie,

outside of family reflects on what family truly is

copiii reflectează la ce e realmente familia,

more than what it promotes itself to be.

dincolo de ceea ce se pretinde a fi.

That is, they also use extraordinary skills

Ei îşi folosesc, de altfel, aptitudinile neobişnuite

to deal with extraordinary situations on a daily basis.

pentru a face faţă zilnic unor situaţii neobişnuite.

How have we not made the connection?

Cum de nu ne-am dat seama?

And why have we not made the connection, between

Şi de ce nu ne-am dat seama?

— How has that happened? —

Cum de n-am văzut legătura dintre

between these incredible characters of popular culture

aceste remarcabile personaje beletristice sau biblice

and religions, and the fostered, adopted or orphaned child

şi copiii orfani sau adoptaţi din jurul nostru?

in our midst? It's not our pity that they need.

Nu de mila noastră au nevoie.

It's our respect.

Ci de respectul nostru.

I know famous musicians,

Cunosc muzicieni celebri,

I know actors and film stars and millionaires and novelists

actori, vedete, milionari, romancieri,

and top lawyers and television executives

avocaţi renumiţi, directori de televiziune,

and magazine editors and national journalists

editori şi jurnalişti recunoscuţi la nivel naţional,

and dustbinmen and hairdressers, all who were

gunoieri şi coafeze, care au rămas orfani

looked after children, fostered, adopted or orphaned,

sau au fost crescuţi de părinţi vitregi sau adoptivi.

and many of them grow into their adult lives

Deveniţi adulți, mulţi ezită

in fear of speaking of their background, as if it may

să vorbească despre trecut,

somehow weaken their standing in the foreground,

de parcă şi-ar pierde rangul.

as if it were somehow Kryptonite, as if it were a time bomb

Ca şi când trecutul ar fi o rocă de Kryptonite,

strapped on the inside. Children in care,

o bombă cu ceas lăuntrică.

who've had a life in care, deserve the right

Copiii aflaţi în grija statului merită

to own and live the memory of their own childhood.

să stăpânească şi să traiască amintirea propriei copilării.

It is that simple.

Nu e nicio filosofie.

My own mother — and I should say this here —

Mama mea a venit în această ţară

she same to this country in the late '60s,

la finele anilor '60.

and she was, you know, she found herself pregnant,

Rămăsese însărcinată, ca toate femeile, la acea vreme.

as women did in the late '60s. You know what I mean?

Ştiţi la ce mă refer?

They found themselves pregnant.

Rămâneau însărcinate.

And she sort of, she had no idea of the context

Habar n-avea

in which she'd landed.

ce o aştepta.

In the 1960s -- I should give you some context -- in the 1960s,

În anii '60, că să vă faceţi o idee,

if you were pregnant and you were single,

dacă erai însărcinată şi necăsătorită,

you were seen as a threat to the community.

erai o ameninţare pentru comunitate.

You were separated from your family by the state.

Statul te separa de familie.

You were separated from your family and placed into

Te internau într-un centru

mother and baby homes.

pentru mame şi copii mici.

You were appointed a social worker.

Ţi se desemna un asistent social.

The adoptive parents were lined up.

Părinţii adoptivi stăteau la rând.

It was the primary purpose of the social worker, the aim,

Principalul scop al asistentului social era

to get the woman at her most vulnerable time

să determine mama să semneze actele de adopţie,

in her entire life, to sign the adoption papers.

în cel mai critic moment din viaţa ei.

So the adoption papers were signed.

Aşadar, actele erau semnate.

The mother and baby's homes were often run by nuns.

Centrele pentru mame erau conduse adesea de călugăriţe.

The adoption papers were signed,

Se semnau actele de adopţie,

the child was given to the adoptive parents, and the mother

copilul era dat familiei adoptive,

shipped back to her community

iar mama se întorcea în comunitate,

to say that she'd been on a little break.

spunând că fusese într-o scurtă vacanţă.

A little break.

O scurtă vacanţă.

A little break.

O scurtă vacanţă.

The first secret of shame for a woman

Primul secret ruşinos al unei femei,

for being a woman, "a little break."

„o scurtă vacanţă”.

The adoption process took, like, a matter of months,

Procesul de adopţie dura câteva luni,

so it was a closed shop, you know, sealed deal,

era ca un contract,

an industrious, utilitarian solution:

cu utilitate imediată,

the government, the farmer,

între guvern, fermierul,

the adopting parents, the consumer,

şi familia adoptatoare, consumatorul,

the mother, the earth, and the child, the crop.

mama, lumea şi copilul, recolta.

It's kind of easy to patronize the past,

E uşor să privim trecutul de sus,

to forego our responsibilities in the present.

şi să renunţăm la responsabilităţile din prezent.

What happened then is a direct reflection

Ce se întâmpla atunci reflectă perfect

of what is happening now. Everybody believed themselves

ce se întâmplă azi. Toţi credeau că fac ce trebuie,

to be doing the right thing by God and by the state

ce ar dori Dumnezeu şi statul

for the big society, fast-tracking adoption.

pentru societate: adopţii rapide.

So anyway, she comes here, 1967, she's pregnant,

Cum vă ziceam, a venit în 1967, gravidă,

and she comes from Ethiopia that was celebrating

din Etiopia,

its own jubilee at the time

care îşi celebra jubileul,

under the Emperor Haile Selassie,

în vremea împăratului Haile Selassie,

and she lands months before the Enoch Powell speech,

cu câteva luni înaintea discursului lui Enoch Powell,

the "Rivers of Blood" speech.

intitulat „Râuri de sânge” ("Rivers of Blood").

She lands months before the Beatles release "The White Album,"

Cu câteva luni înainte de lansarea albumului Beatles „The White Album”.

months before Martin Luther King was killed.

Cu câteva luni înainte de asasinarea lui Martin Luther King.

It was a summer of love if you were white.

Pentru albi, era vara iubirii.

If you were black, it was a summer of hate.

Pentru negri, o vară de ură.

So she goes from Oxford, she's sent to the north of England

Părăseşte Oxfordul, fiind trimisă în nordul Angliei,

to a mother and baby home, and appointed a social worker.

la un centru pentru mame şi bebeluşi, unde i se atribuie un asistent social.

It's her plan. You know, I have to say this in the Houses --

Planul ei era să...Trebuie să afle şi parlamentarii...

It's her plan to have me fostered for a short period of time

Planul ei era să mă lase în grija statului

while she studies. But the social worker,

doar cât să-şi termine studiile.

he had a different agenda.

Asistentul social avea însă alte planuri.

He found the foster parents, and he said to them,

M-a încredinţat unei familii, spunând:

"Treat this as an adoption. He's yours forever.

„Consideraţi că l-aţi adoptat. E al vostru pentru totdeauna.

His name is Norman." (Laughter)

Numele lui e Norman." (Râsete)

Norman! (Laughter)

Norman! (Râsete)

Norman!

Norman!

So they took me. I was a message, they said.

Aşa că m-au luat. E un semn, şi-au zis ei.

I was a sign from God, they said.

Un semn de la Dumnezeu.

I was Norman Mark Greenwood.

Eu eram Norman Mark Greenwood.

Now, for the next 11 years, all I know is that this woman,

În următorii 11 ani, am trăit cu gândul

this birth woman, should have her eyes scratched out

că femeia care mă născuse merita tot răul din lume

for not signing the adoption papers. She was an evil woman

pentru că nu semnase actele de adopţie. Era o femeie rea,

too selfish to sign, so I spent those 11 years

prea egoistă să se sinchisească.

kneeling and praying.

Mi-am petrecut acei 11 ani, în genunchi, rugându-mă.

I tried praying. I swear I tried praying.

Am încercat cu rugăciuni. Jur!

"God, can I have a bike for Christmas?"

„Dă, Doamne, să primesc o bicicletă de Crăciun!"

But I would always answer myself, "Yes, of course you can."

Şi-mi răspundeam tot eu: „Sigur că da!"

(Laughter)

(Râsete)

And then I was supposed to determine whether that

Apoi trebuia să văd dacă acela fusese

was the voice of God or it was the voice of the Devil.

glasul Domnului, sau al diavolului.

And it turns out I've got the Devil inside of me.

Se pare că aveam pe dracul in mine.

Who knew? (Laughter)

Cine ar fi zis? (Râsete)

So anyway, two years sort of passed,

Şi aşa au trecut vreo doi ani,

and they had a child of their own,

şi a venit pe lume primul copil al părinţilor adoptivi.

and then another two years passed, and they had another child of their own,

După alţi doi ani, a venit şi al doilea.

and then another time passed

După un timp,

and they had another child that they called an accident,

au mai făcut un copil, din greşeală, cum spuneau ei.

which I thought was an unusual name. (Laughter)

Mi se părea mie că e un nume cam ciudat. (Râsete)

And I was on the cusp of, sort of, adolescence,

Eram deja aproape adolescent,

so I was starting to take biscuits from the tin without asking.

când am început să calc pe bec.

I was starting to stay out a little bit late, etc., etc.

Veneam mai târziu acasă, una, alta.

Now, in their religiosity, in their naivete,

Ai mei, mai bisericoşi şi naivi din fire,

my mom and dad, which I believed them to be forever,

deşi îmi spuseseră că vor fi părinţii mei toată viaţa,

as they said they were, my mom and dad

au ajuns la concluzia

conceived that I had the Devil inside of me.

că aveam pe dracul în mine.

And what -- I should say this here, because this is how

Într-o zi - atunci am înţeles

they engineered my leaving.

că eram în plus -

They sat me at a table, my foster mom, and she said to me,

stăteam la masă, când ai mei mi-au spus:

"You don't love us, do you?" At 11 years old.

„Tu nu ne iubeşti, aşa e ?" Aveam doar 11 ani.

They've had three other children. I'm the fourth. The third was an accident.

Ei mai aveau 3 copii. Eu eram al patrulea. Al treilea era din greşeală.

And I said, "Yeah, of course I do." Because you do.

Eu am zis: „Ba da, sigur ca vă iubesc".

My foster mother asked me to go away to think about love

Mama mi-a zis să plec, să mă gândesc la ce e dragostea,

and what it is and to read the Scriptures and to come back tomorrow

să citesc din Scripturi, şi să-i dau, a doua zi,

and give my most honest and truthful answer.

un răspuns sincer şi din inimă.

So this was an opportunity. If they were asking me

Întrucât mă întrebau dacă-i iubesc sau nu,

whether I loved them or not, then I mustn't love them,

însemna că nu trebuie să-i iubesc.

which led me to the miracle of thought that I thought they wanted me to get to.

Aşa am ajuns la concluzia la care, credeam eu, voiau şi ei să ajung:

"I will ask God for forgiveness and His light will shine

„Îi voi cere Domnului iertare, iar lumina Lui va străluci prin mine,

through me to them. How fantastic." This was an opportunity.

pănă la ei. Grozav!" Era perfect.

The theology was perfect, the timing unquestionable,

Abordarea teologică n-avea cusur, sincronizarea era perfectă,

and the answer as honest as a sinner could get.

iar un răspuns mai sincer nici că se putea:

"I mustn't love you," I said to them. "But I will ask God for forgiveness."

„Nu trebuie să vă iubesc", le-am zis, „dar o să-i cer iertare lui Dumnezeu".

"Because you don't love us, Norman,

„Dacă nu ne iubeşti, Norman,

clearly you've chosen your path."

e limpede că ţi-ai ales calea."

Twenty-four hours later, my social worker,

A doua zi, asistentul social,

this strange man who used to visit me every couple of months,

un om ciudat care mă vizita o dată la două luni,

he's waiting for me in the car as I say goodbye to my parents.

mă aştepta în maşină pe când îmi luam rămas bun de la părinţi.

I didn't say goodbye to anybody, not my mother, my father,

Nu mi-am luat la revedere de la nimeni, nici de la mama,

my sisters, my brothers, my aunts, my uncles,

nici de la tata, fraţi, unchi, mătuşi,

my cousins, my grandparents, nobody.

veri sau bunici; de la nimeni.

On the way to the children's home, I started to ask myself,

Pe drum către orfelinat, mă gândeam:

"What's happened to me?"

„Ce se întâmplă cu mine?"

It's not that I'd had the rug pulled from beneath me

Parcă îmi fugea pământul de sub picioare,

as much as the entire floor had been taken away.

pur şi simplu.

When I got to the —

Odată ajuns,

For the next four, five years,

aveam să schimb patru instituţii

I was held in four different children's homes.

în patru, cinci ani.

On the third children's home, at 15,

În cea de-a treia am ajuns la 15 ani.

I started to rebel, and what I did was,

Devenisem mai rebel, şi într-o zi,

I got three tins of paint, Airfix paint that you use for models,

am cumpărat trei cutii de vopsea, marca Airfix,

and I was -- it was a big children's home, big Victorian children's home --

şi m-am urcat în turela clădirii,

and I was in a little turret at the top of it,

o clădire mare, în stil victorian,

and I poured them, red, yellow and green,

de unde am turnat vopseaua roşie, galbenă şi verde,

the colors of Africa, down the tiles.

în culorile Africii, pe ţigle.

You couldn't see it from the street, because the home

Nu se vedea din stradă,

was surrounded by beech trees.

clădirea fiind înconjurată de fagi.

For doing this, I was incarcerated for a year

Pentru fapta mea, am stat un an,

in an assessment center which was actually

la un centru de evaluare, care era, de fapt,

a remand center. It was a virtual prison

un centru de detenţie juvenilă.

for young people.

O închisoare de tineri.

By the way, years later, my social worker said

Apropos, peste ani, am aflat de la asistentul social

that I should never have been put in there.

că n-ar fi trebuit să fiu trimis acolo.

I wasn't charged for anything. I hadn't done anything wrong.

Nu eram acuzat de nimic. Nu făcusem nimic ilegal.

But because I had no family to inquire about me,

Dar pentru că n-aveam pe nimeni să-mi poarte de grijă,

they could do anything to me.

puteau face ce voiau cu mine.

I'm 17 years old, and

La 17 ani,

they had a padded cell.

mă aştepta o celulă capitonată,

They would march me down corridors in last-size order.

şi o viaţă de „Înainte, marş!" pe coridoare.

They -- I was put in a dormitory

Apoi, am stat în cameră

with a confirmed Nazi sympathizer.

cu un vădit simpatizant nazist.

All of the staff were ex-police -- interesting --

Personalul era format, în întregime - curios lucru -

and ex-probation officers.

din foşti ofiţeri de poliţie.

The man who ran it was an ex-army officer.

Directorul centrului era un fost ofiţer de armată.

Every time I had a visit by a person who I did not know

De câte ori mă vizita o persoană necunoscută,

who would feed me grapes, once every three months,

care îmi aducea struguri, o dată la trei luni,

I was strip-searched.

eram percheziţionat la sânge.

That home was full of young boys who were on remand

Centrul era plin de tineri arestaţi preventiv

for things like murder.

pentru delicte grave precum omorul.

And this was the preparation that I was being given

Astfel eram eu pregătit pentru viaţă,

after 17 years as a child of the state.

după 17 ani petrecuţi în grija statului.

I have to tell this story.

E o poveste ce merită spusă.

I have to tell it, because there was no one

Trebuie s-o spun, pentru ca n-a avut cine

to put two and two together.

să pună lucrurile cap la cap.

I slowly became aware that I knew nobody

Am realizat treptat că nu ştiam pe nimeni

that knew me for longer than a year.

care să mă cunoască de mai mult de un an.

See, that's what family does.

Ăsta e, de fapt, rolul familiei.

It gives you reference points.

Să-ţi dea puncte de reper.

I'm not defining a good family from a bad family.

Nu mă refer la ce face o familie bună şi alta, rea.

I'm just saying that you know when your birthday is

Spun doar că ştii când e ziua ta de naştere

by virtue of the fact that somebody tells you when your birthday is,

fiindcă are cine să-ţi spună:

a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, an aunt, an uncle,

mama, tata, sora, fratele, mătuşa, unchiul,

a cousin, a grandparent. It matters to someone,

verii, bunicii. Cuiva îi pasă,

and therefore it matters to you. Understand,

şi de-asta îţi pasă şi ţie.

I was 14 years old, tucked away in myself, into myself,

La 14 ani, ţineam totul în mine,

and I wasn't touched either, physically touched.

nu ştiam ce înseamnă o mângâiere.

I'm reporting back. I'm reporting back simply to say that

Vă povestesc toate astea

when I left the children's home I had two things

fiindcă îmi doream două lucruri

that I wanted to do. One was to find my family,

când am părăsit centrul.

and the other was to write poetry.

Să-mi găsesc familia şi să scriu poezie.

In creativity I saw light.

În creaţie, am văzut lumina.

In the imagination I saw the endless possibility of life,

Fantezia mi-a oferit posibilităţi nelimitate în viaţă,

the endless truth, the permanent creation of reality,

adevărul nesfârşit, recrearea permanentă a realităţii.

the place where anger was an expression

Un loc în care furia e expresia nevoii de iubire,

in the search for love, a place where dysfunction

un loc în care disfuncţia

is a true reaction to untruth.

apare ca reacţie la neadevăr.

I've just got to say it to you all: I found all of my family

Mi-am găsit familia ca adult.

in my adult life. I spent all of my adult life finding them,

Mi-am petrecut toată viaţa de adult căutând-o,

and I've now got a fully dysfunctional family just like everybody else.

şi am azi o familie perfect imperfectă, ca tot omu'.

But I'm reporting back to you to say quite simply

V-am spus toate astea pentru că eu cred

that you can define how strong a democracy is

că modul în care un guvern îşi tratează copiii

by how its government treats its child.

dă măsura democraţiei sale.

I don't mean children. I mean the child of the state.

Şi nu mă refer aici la toţi copiii. Ci la copiii statului.

Thanks very much. It's been an honor. (Applause)

Vă mulţumesc! Sunt onorat! (Aplauze)

(Applause)

(Aplauze)