Love -- you're doing it wrong | Yann Dall'Aglio

453,122 views ใƒป 2014-02-14

TED


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

00:00
Translator: Naรญma Perrella Milani Reviewer: Elisabeth Buffard
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๋ฒˆ์—ญ: K Bang ๊ฒ€ํ† : Young-Lee Seo
00:12
What is love?
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์ผ๊นŒ์š”?
00:15
It's a hard term to define
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์ •์˜ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์–ด๋ ค์šด ๋‹จ์–ด์ด์ง€๋งŒ
00:17
in so far as it has a very wide application.
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๋งค์šฐ ๋‹ค์–‘ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:21
I can love jogging.
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๋‹ฌ๋ฆฌ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ ,
00:23
I can love a book, a movie.
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์ฑ…์ด๋‚˜ ์˜ํ™”๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ• ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ
00:25
I can love escalopes.
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์†ก์•„์ง€ ๊ณ ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
00:28
I can love my wife.
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์ œ ์•„๋‚ด๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๊ตฌ์š”.
00:30
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
00:35
But there's a great difference
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค๋ฉด, ์†ก์•„์ง€ ๊ณ ๊ธฐ์™€ ์ œ ์•„๋‚ด์™€๋Š”
00:38
between an escalope and my wife, for instance.
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์ปค๋‹ค๋ž€ ์ฐจ์ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:43
That is, if I value the escalope,
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์ฆ‰, ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์†ก์•„์ง€ ๊ณ ๊ธฐ์— ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ๋‘๋ฉด,
00:46
the escalope, on the other hand, it doesn't value me back.
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๋ฐ˜๋Œ€๋กœ ์†ก์•„์ง€๊ฐ€ ์ œ๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ๋‘์ง€๋Š” ์•Š๊ฒ ์ง€์š”.
00:53
Whereas my wife, she calls me
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๋ฐ˜๋ฉด์— ์ œ ์•„๋‚ด์˜ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ์—, ์•„๋‚ด๋Š” ์ €๋ฅผ
00:56
the star of her life.
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๊ทธ๋…€์˜ ์ธ์ƒ์—์„œ ๋ณ„์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:58
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
01:00
Therefore, only another desiring conscience
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ, ํ˜ธ๊ฐ์„ ๊ฐ–๋Š” ๋˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์กด์žฌ๋งŒ์ด
01:02
can conceive me as a desirable being.
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์ œ๊ฒŒ ํ˜ธ๊ฐ์„ ๋ณด์ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
01:05
I know this, that's why
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์ €๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:07
love can be defined in a more accurate way
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๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์ด๋ž€ ๊ฒƒ์ด, ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ์ •ํ™•ํ•˜๊ฒŒ๋Š”
01:09
as the desire of being desired.
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์š•๋ง์˜ ๋Œ€์ƒ์ด ๋˜๊ธธ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ์š•๋ง์œผ๋กœ ์ •์˜๋  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ด์œ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:14
Hence the eternal problem of love:
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ถ๊ทน์ ์ธ ๋ฌธ์ œ๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค:
01:16
how to become and remain desirable?
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ˜ธ๊ฐ์ด ๊ฐ€๊ฒŒ ๋˜๊ณ  ๋˜ ํ˜ธ๊ฐ์„ ์œ ์ง€ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ?
01:22
The individual used to find
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๊ฐ๊ฐ์˜ ๊ฐœ์ธ์€
01:26
an answer to this problem
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์ž๊ธฐ ์ž์‹ ์„ ์‚ฌํšŒ์— ํ—Œ์‹ ํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ
01:28
by submitting his life to community rules.
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์ด ๋ฌธ์ œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋‹ต์„ ์ฐพ๊ณคํ•˜์ฃ .
01:31
You had a specific part to play
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์ž๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ํŠน๋ณ„ํ•œ ์—ญํ• ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:33
according to your sex, your age,
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๊ทธ๊ฑด ์„ฑ๋ณ„์ด๋‚˜ ๋‚˜์ด,
01:36
your social status,
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์‚ฌํšŒ์  ์œ„์น˜์— ๋”ฐ๋ผ ๋‹ฌ๋ผ์ง€์ฃ .
01:37
and you only had to play your part
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์‚ฌํšŒ ์ „์ฒด์— ์˜ํ•ด ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ์ธ์ •๋ฐ›๊ณ  ์‚ฌ๋ž‘๋ฐ›์œผ๋ ค๋ฉด
01:39
to be valued and loved by the whole community.
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์ž์‹ ์˜ ์—ญํ• ์„ ์ˆ˜ํ–‰ํ•ด์•ผ๋งŒ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:44
Think about the young woman who must remain chaste before marriage.
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๊ฒฐํ˜ผ ์ „์— ์ˆœ๊ฒฐ์„ ์ง€์ผœ์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ Š์€ ์—ฌ์ธ์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณด์ฃ .
01:47
Think about the youngest son who must obey the eldest son,
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์žฅ๋‚จ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ณต์ข…ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ง‰๋‚ด ์•„์ด๋ฅผ,
01:52
who in turn must obey the patriarch.
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๋˜ ๊ฐ€์žฅ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ณต์ข…ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ์žฅ๋‚จ์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
01:57
But a phenomenon
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ๋ฐ 13์„ธ๊ธฐ์—
02:02
started in the 13th century,
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์ฃผ๋กœ ์„œ๊ตฌ ๋ฅด๋„ค์ƒ์Šค ์‹œ๋Œ€์—
02:05
mainly in the Renaissance, in the West,
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์–ด๋–ค ํ˜„์ƒ์ด ์‹œ์ž‘๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:09
that caused the biggest identity crisis
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์ด ํ˜„์ƒ์œผ๋กœ ๋ง๋ฏธ์•”์•„ ์ธ๋ฅ˜ ์—ญ์‚ฌ์ƒ
02:12
in the history of humankind.
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๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ปค๋‹ค๋ž€ ์ •์ฒด์„ฑ ์œ„๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ๋ฐœ์ƒํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:15
This phenomenon is modernity.
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์ด ํ˜„์ƒ์€ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ๊ทผ๋Œ€์„ฑ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:17
We can basically summarize it through a triple process.
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๊ธฐ๋ณธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ 3๋‹จ๊ณ„๋กœ ์š”์•ฝํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:20
First, a process of rationalization of scientific research,
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์šฐ์„ , ๊ณผํ•™์  ์—ฐ๊ตฌ์˜ ํ•ฉ๋ฆฌํ™” ๊ณผ์ •์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:26
which has accelerated technical progress.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ธฐ์ˆ ์˜ ๋ฐœ์ „์„ ๊ฐ€์†ํ™”ํ•˜์ฃ .
02:28
Next, a process of political democratization,
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๋‹ค์Œ์œผ๋กœ ์ •์น˜์  ๋ฏผ์ฃผํ™”์˜ ๊ณผ์ •์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:33
which has fostered individual rights.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ฐœ์ธ์˜ ๊ถŒ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋ฐœ์ „์‹œ์ผœ์™”์ง€์š”.
02:36
And finally, a process of rationalization of economic production
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ ๊ฒฝ์ œ์  ์ƒ์‚ฐ๊ณผ
02:40
and of trade liberalization.
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๊ต์—ญ์˜ ์ž์œ ํ™” ๊ณผ์ •์ธ๋ฐ์š”.
02:43
These three intertwined processes
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์ด ์„ธ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๊ณผ์ •์ด ๋’ค์–ฝํ˜€
02:46
have completely annihilated
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์„œ๊ตฌ ์‚ฌํšŒ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๋˜
02:49
all the traditional bearings of Western societies,
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๋ชจ๋“  ์ „ํ†ต์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ์™„์ „ํžˆ ํ™ฉํํ™”์‹œ์ผœ ์™”์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:53
with radical consequences for the individual.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋˜ํ•œ ๊ฐœ๊ฐœ์ธ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ธ‰์ง„์ ์ธ ๋ณ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์•ˆ๊ฒจ์ฃผ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:55
Now individuals are free
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์ด์ œ ๊ฐœ๊ฐœ์ธ์€
02:58
to value or disvalue
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์–ด๋–ค ํƒœ๋„๋‚˜ ์„ ํƒ, ๋Œ€์ƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด์„œ
03:01
any attitude, any choice, any object.
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๋งˆ์Œ๋Œ€๋กœ ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ๋ถ€์—ฌํ•˜๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ๋‘์ง€ ์•Š๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:06
But as a result, they are themselves confronted
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ๊ทธ ๊ฒฐ๊ณผ, ๋ณธ์ธ๋“ค๋„ ๋˜‘๊ฐ™์ด
03:12
with this same freedom that others have
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ด๋“ค์ด ์ž๊ธฐ ์ž์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ๋‘๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€ ์•Š์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š”
03:14
to value or disvalue them.
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์ž์œ ์™€ ์ง๋ฉดํ•ด์•ผ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:18
In other words, my value was once ensured
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๋‹ค์‹œ ๋งํ•ด์„œ ํ•œ ๋•Œ๋Š” ์ € ์ž์‹ ์„
03:24
by submitting myself to the traditional authorities.
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์ „ํ†ต์ ์ธ ๊ถŒ์œ„์— ํ—Œ์‹ ํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ์ œ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ€์น˜๊ฐ€ ๋ณด์žฅ๋˜์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:28
Now it is quoted in the stock exchange.
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์ง€๊ธˆ์€ ์ฆ๊ถŒ ๊ฑฐ๋ž˜์†Œ์—์„œ ์ž์ฃผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ง๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๋˜์–ด๋ฒ„๋ ธ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:33
On the free market of individual desires,
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'๊ฐœ๊ฐœ์ธ์˜ ์š•๋ง์„ ์‚ฌ๊ณ  ํŒŒ๋Š” ์ž์œ  ์‹œ์žฅ์—์„œ
03:38
I negotiate my value every day.
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์ €๋Š” ๋งค์ผ ๋งค์ผ ์ œ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ํ˜‘์ƒํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.'
03:42
Hence the anxiety of contemporary man.
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๊ทธ ๊ฒฐ๊ณผ๋Š” ํ˜„๋Œ€์ธ๋“ค์˜ ๋ถˆ์•ˆ๊ฐ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:44
He is obsessed: "Am I desirable? How desirable?
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ํ˜„๋Œ€์ธ๋“ค์€ "๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€์น˜๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ? ๊ทธ ๊ฐ€์น˜๋Š” ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ๋ ๊นŒ?
03:48
How many people are going to love me?"
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๋ช‡ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด๋‚˜ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ• ๊นŒ?'์™€ ๊ฐ™์€ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์— ์‚ฌ๋กœ์žกํ˜€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:51
And how does he respond to this anxiety?
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ํ˜„๋Œ€์ธ๋“ค์€ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ๋ถˆ์•ˆ๊ฐ์— ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋ฐ˜์‘ํ•˜์ฃ ?
03:54
Well, by hysterically collecting symbols of desirability.
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์Œ, ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ์ธ์ • ๋ฐ›๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ์ƒ์ง•๋ฌผ์„ ๋ณ‘์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ˆ˜์ง‘ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:04
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
04:07
I call this act of collecting,
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์ €๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ˆ˜์ง‘ ํ–‰์œ„๋ฅผ,
04:09
along with others, seduction capital.
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์œ ํ˜น ์ž๋ณธ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ถ€๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:13
Indeed, our consumer society
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์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ์†Œ๋น„ ์‚ฌํšŒ๋Š”
04:15
is largely based on seduction capital.
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์ฃผ๋กœ ์œ ํ˜น ์ž๋ณธ์— ๊ธฐ๋ฐ˜์„ ๋‘๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:20
It is said about this consumption that our age is materialistic.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์„ธ๋Œ€๊ฐ€ ๋ฌผ์งˆ๋งŒ๋Šฅ์ฃผ์˜์ ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์†Œ๋น„์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ์—์š”.
04:24
But it's not true! We only accumulate objects
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌผ์งˆ์„ ์ถ•์ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€
04:28
in order to communicate with other minds.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ์†Œํ†ตํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:31
We do it to make them love us, to seduce them.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋„๋ก ํ•ด์„œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ์œ ํ˜นํ•˜๋ ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์—์š”.
04:36
Nothing could be less materialistic, or more sentimental,
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์„ธ์ƒ์— ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ๋„ 10๋Œ€ ์ฐฝ์†Œ๋…„์ด
04:40
than a teenager buying brand new jeans
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์ฒญ๋ฐ”์ง€๋ฅผ ์ƒˆ๋กœ ์‚ฌ์„œ
04:44
and tearing them at the knees,
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๋ฌด๋ฆŽ์„ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์„ ์ž˜๋ผ๋ฒ„๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋œ ๋ฌผ์งˆ์ ์ด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋” ๊ฐ์„ฑ์ ์ผ ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:47
because he wants to please Jennifer.
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์ œ๋‹ˆํผ์—๊ฒŒ ์ž˜๋ณด์ด๋ ค๊ณ  ํ•˜๋Š” ์ผ์ด๊ฒ ์ฃ .
04:49
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
04:51
Consumerism is not materialism.
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์†Œ๋น„์ง€์ƒ์ฃผ์˜๋Š” ๋ฌผ์งˆ๋งŒ๋Šฅ์ฃผ์˜๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:55
It is rather what is swallowed up
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๊ทธ๊ฑด ์˜คํžˆ๋ ค ์ž๋ณธ์ฃผ์˜์˜ ์œ ํ˜น๋ณด๋‹ค
04:57
and sacrificed in the name of the god of love,
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘์˜ ์‹ ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ์ด๋ฆ„์œผ๋กœ
05:00
or rather in the name of seduction capital.
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๋ฌปํ˜€์ง€๊ณ  ํฌ์ƒ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์—์š”.
05:04
In light of this observation on contemporary love,
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ํ˜„์‹œ๋Œ€์˜ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณผ ๋•Œ,
05:10
how can we think of love in the years to come?
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค๊ฐ€์˜ฌ ์‹œ๋Œ€์˜ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ฒ ์–ด์š”?
05:13
We can envision two hypotheses:
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๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๊ฐ€์ •์„ ์ƒ์ •ํ•ด ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค:
05:15
The first one consists of betting
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์ฒซ์งธ๋Š”
05:18
that this process of narcissistic capitalization will intensify.
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ๋‚˜๋ฅด์‹œ์Šค์ ์ธ ์ž๋ณธํ™” ๊ณผ์ •์ด ๋” ์‹ฌํ™”๋˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:24
It is hard to say what shape this intensification will take,
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์‹ฌํ™”๋˜๋ฉด ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒฐ๊ณผ๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜์˜ฌ์ง€ ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ ์–ด๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:28
because it largely depends
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์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋Œ€์ฒด๋กœ
05:29
on social and technical innovations,
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์‚ฌํšŒ์ , ๊ธฐ์ˆ ์ ์ธ ํ˜์‹ ์— ๋‹ฌ๋ ค์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
05:32
which are by definition difficult to predict.
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๊ทธ ํ˜์‹ ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ •์˜์ƒ, ์˜ˆ์ธกํ•˜๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋ ต๊ฑฐ๋“ ์š”.
05:37
But we can, for instance,
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด,
05:39
imagine a dating website
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๋ฐ์ดํŒ… ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋ฅผ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
05:43
which, a bit like those loyalty points programs,
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์•ฝ๊ฐ„ ์ถฉ์„ฑ๋„ ์ ์ˆ˜๋ฅผ ์ฃผ๋Š” ํ”„๋กœ๊ทธ๋žจ ๊ฐ™์€๊ฑฐ์š”.
05:47
uses seduction capital points
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ์— ๋‚˜์ด๋‚˜ ์‹ ์žฅ/์ฒด์ค‘ ๋น„์œจ,
05:50
that vary according to my age, my height/weight ratio,
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๊ต์œก ์ •๋„, ์—ฐ๋ด‰,
05:54
my degree, my salary,
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๋˜๋Š” ์ œ ๊ธฐ๋ก์„ ํด๋ฆญํ•œ ํšŸ์ˆ˜ ๊ฐ™์€ ๊ฒƒ์œผ๋กœ
05:57
or the number of clicks on my profile.
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์œ ํ˜น ์ž๋ณธ ์ ์ˆ˜๋ฅผ ์ฐจ๋“ฑ ์ง€๊ธ‰ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ƒ์ƒํ•ด๋ณด์‹ค ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„ ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:01
We can also imagine
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ํ•œํŽธ ์นœ๋ฐ€๊ฐ์„ ์•ฝํ™”์‹œ์ผœ
06:05
a chemical treatment for breakups
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์ด๋ณ„์„ ๋ถ€์ถ”ํ‚ค๋Š”
06:08
that weakens the feelings of attachment.
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ํ™”ํ•™ ์š”๋ฒ•์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
06:12
By the way, there's a program on MTV already
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์ฐธ๊ณ ๋กœ, ์ด๋ฏธ MTV์—๋Š”
06:16
in which seduction teachers
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์œ ํ˜น์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ๊ฐ•์‚ฌ๊ฐ€
06:20
treat heartache as a disease.
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์‹ฌ์  ๊ณ ํ†ต์„ ์งˆ๋ณ‘์œผ๋กœ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ๋Š” ํ”„๋กœ๊ทธ๋žจ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:24
These teachers call themselves "pick-up artists."
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์ด๋“ค ๊ฐ•์‚ฌ๋“ค์€ ์ž์‹ ๋“ค์„ "์—ฐ์˜ˆ ์˜ˆ์ˆ ๊ฐ€(ํ”ฝ์—…์•„ํ‹ฐ์ŠคํŠธ)"๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•˜์ฃ .
06:28
"Artist" in French is easy, it means "artiste."
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๋ถˆ์–ด๋กœ "์•„ํ‹ฐ์ŠคํŠธ"๋Š” ์‰ฌ์›Œ์š”. "์˜ˆ์ˆ ๊ฐ€"์„ ๋œปํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:31
"Pick-up" is to pick someone up,
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"ํ”ฝ์—…"์ด๋ž€ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์„ ํƒํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ธ๋ฐ
06:34
but not just any picking up -- it's picking up chicks.
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๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ์•„๋ฌด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์„ ํƒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๋งค๋ ฅ์ ์ธ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์„ ์„ ํƒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์—์š”.
06:36
So they are artists of picking up chicks.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ ์ด๋“ค์€ ๋งค๋ ฅ์ ์ธ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์„ ์„ ํƒํ•˜๋Š” ์˜ˆ์ˆ ๊ฐ€๋“ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:40
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
06:42
And they call heartache "one-itis."
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์‹ฌ์ ์ธ ๊ณ ํ†ต์„ "์›-์•„์ดํ‹ฐ์Šค(one-itis)"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ถ€๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:47
In English, "itis" is a suffix that signifies infection.
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์˜์–ด๋กœ "์•„์ดํ‹ฐ์Šค(itis)"๋Š” ๊ฐ์—ผ์„ ๋œปํ•˜๋Š” ์ ‘๋ฏธ์‚ฌ์—์š”.
06:50
One-itis can be translated as "an infection from one."
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ ์›-์•„์ดํ‹ฐ์Šค๋Š” "ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋กœ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ์˜ ๊ฐ์—ผ"์œผ๋กœ ๋ฒˆ์—ญํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:55
It's a bit disgusting. Indeed, for the pick-up artists,
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์ด๊ฑด ์•ฝ๊ฐ„ ์—ญ๊ฒจ์šด๋ฐ, ์‚ฌ์‹ค ์ด๋Ÿฐ "์—ฐ์˜ˆ ์˜ˆ์ˆ ๊ฐ€"๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ
06:59
falling in love with someone
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ๋น ์ง€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€
07:02
is a waste of time,
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์‹œ๊ฐ„ ๋‚ญ๋น„์ฃ .
07:04
it's squandering your seduction capital,
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๋งํ•˜์ž๋ฉด, ์ž์‹ ์˜ ์œ ํ˜น ์ž๋ณธ์„ ํ—ˆ๋น„ํ•ด ๋ฒ„๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์–ด์„œ
07:06
so it must be eliminated
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๋งˆ์น˜ ์งˆ๋ณ‘์ด๋‚˜ ๊ฐ์—ผ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ
07:08
like a disease, like an infection.
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์—†์• ์•ผ ํ•  ์š”์†Œ๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:11
We can also envision
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒŒ๋†ˆ์„ ๋กœ๋งจํ‹ฑํ•˜๊ฒŒ
07:15
a romantic use of the genome.
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์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ์š”.
07:18
Everyone would carry it around
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๋ˆ„๊ตฌ๋‚˜ ๊ทธ๊ฑธ ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ๋‹ค๋‹ˆ๊ณ 
07:22
and present it like a business card
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๋ช…ํ•จ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋‚ด๋ณด์ด๋ฉด์„œ
07:25
to verify if seduction can progress to reproduction.
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์œ ํ˜น์ด 2์„ธ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ–๋Š” ๊ณผ์ •๊นŒ์ง€ ์ด์–ด์งˆ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:30
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
07:34
Of course, this race for seduction,
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๋ฌผ๋ก  ์œ ํ˜น์„ ํ–ฅํ•œ ์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ๊ฒฝ์Ÿ์€
07:39
like every fierce competition,
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๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒฉ๋ ฌํ•œ ๊ฒฝ์Ÿ๊ณผ ๋งˆ์ฐฌ๊ฐ€์ง€๋กœ
07:41
will create huge disparities in narcissistic satisfaction,
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๋‚˜๋ฅด์‹œ์Šค์  ๋งŒ์กฑ๊ฐ์— ์žˆ์–ด์„œ ์—„์ฒญ๋‚œ ์ฐจ์ด๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:46
and therefore a lot of loneliness and frustration too.
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๊ทธ ๊ฒฐ๊ณผ ์—„์ฒญ๋‚œ ์™ธ๋กœ์›€๊ณผ ์ขŒ์ ˆ๊ฐ์„ ์–‘์‚ฐํ•ด๋‚ด์ฃ .
07:50
So we can expect that modernity itself,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์œ ํ˜น ์ž๋ณธ์˜ ๊ธฐ์›์ด๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•œ ํ˜„๋Œ€์„ฑ์ด
07:53
which is the origin of seduction capital, would be called into question.
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์˜๋ฌธ์„ ๋ถˆ๋Ÿฌ ์ผ์œผํ‚ค๋ฆฌ๋ผ ์˜ˆ์ƒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:57
I'm thinking particularly of the reaction
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์ €๋Š” ํŠนํžˆ ์‹ ํŒŒ์‹œ์ŠคํŠธ๋‚˜
08:00
of neo-fascist or religious communes.
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์ข…๊ต ๋‹จ์ฒด์˜ ๋ฐ˜์‘์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:05
But such a future doesn't have to be.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋ฏธ๋ž˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€ ์•Š์•„๋„ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:10
Another path to thinking about love may be possible.
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๊ณ  ๋ฐฉ์‹์ด ๊ฐ€๋Šฅํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:16
But how?
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ๋Ÿด๊นŒ์š”?
08:18
How to renounce the hysterical need to be valued?
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ฐ€์น˜ ์žˆ๊ฒŒ ํ‰๊ฐ€ ๋ฐ›๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐœ์ž‘์ ์ธ ์š•๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ๋ฒ„๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
08:22
Well, by becoming aware of my uselessness.
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๋ฐ”๋กœ ์ž๊ธฐ ์ž์‹ ์ด ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์“ธ๋ชจ์—†๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ธ์ง€ ์ธ์‹ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:26
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:28
Yes,
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๋„ค,
08:29
I'm useless.
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์ €๋Š” ์“ธ๋ชจ์—†๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด์—์š”.
08:32
But rest assured:
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ํ™•์‹คํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์€
08:33
so are you.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๋„ ๋งˆ์ฐฌ๊ฐ€์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:35
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:37
(Applause)
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(๋ฐ•์ˆ˜)
08:41
We are all useless.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋‘ ์“ธ๋ชจ์—†๋Š” ์ธ๊ฐ„๋“ค์ด์—์š”.
08:45
This uselessness is easily demonstrated,
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ๋ฌด์šฉ์„ฑ์€ ์‰ฝ๊ฒŒ ์ฐพ์•„๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ์š”.
08:48
because in order to be valued
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๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ์ง€๋‹ˆ๋ ค๋ฉด
08:52
I need another to desire me,
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์ €๋ฅผ ๊ฐˆ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์žˆ์–ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š”๋ฐ,
08:55
which shows that I do not have any value of my own.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ๋‚˜๋ผ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ํ˜ผ์ž์„œ๋Š” ์•„๋ฌด๋Ÿฐ ๊ฐ€์น˜๊ฐ€ ์—†๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ฆ๋ช…ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:57
I don't have any inherent value.
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๋‚˜๋ผ๋Š” ์กด์žฌ์— ๋‚ด์žฌ์ ์ธ ๊ฐ€์น˜๋Š” ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:02
We all pretend to have an idol;
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ชจ๋‘๋Š” ์šฐ์ƒ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์ฒด ํ•˜๊ณ 
09:05
we all pretend to be an idol for someone else, but actually
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ชจ๋‘๋Š” ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์œ„ํ•œ ์šฐ์ƒ์ด ๋˜๋Š” ์ฒดํ•˜๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:08
we are all impostors, a bit like a man on the street
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋‘ ์‚ฌ๊ธฐ๊พผ์ด์—์š”. ๊ธธ๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ์—์„œ ๋งˆ์ฃผ์น˜๋Š”
09:11
who appears totally cool and indifferent,
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๋ฉ‹์ง€๊ณ  ๋ฌด์‹ฌํ•ด ๋ณด์ด์ง€๋งŒ,
09:14
while he has actually anticipated and calculated
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์‹ค์ œ๋กœ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๋ˆˆ์ด ์ž๊ธฐ ์ž์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ ๋ฆฌ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ
09:17
so that all eyes are on him.
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์˜ˆ์ƒํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋˜๋„๋ก ๊ณ„์‚ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋‚จ์ž ๊ฐ™์ด ๋ง์ด์ฃ .
09:21
I think that becoming aware
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์ €๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ชจ๋‘์—๊ฒŒ ์˜ํ–ฅ์„ ์ฃผ๋Š”
09:23
of this general imposture
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ์‚ฌ๊ธฐ์„ฑ์„
09:25
that concerns all of us
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์ธ์ง€ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด
09:26
would ease our love relationships.
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์ข€ ๋” ํŽธํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:28
It is because I want to be loved
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์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ๋จธ๋ฆฌ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ๋ฐœ ๋๊นŒ์ง€
09:30
from head to toe,
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘ ๋ฐ›๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๊ณ ,
09:32
justified in my every choice,
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๋ชจ๋“  ์„ ํƒ ๊ณผ์ •์ด ์ •๋‹นํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ธ์ •๋ฐ›๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—
09:34
that the seduction hysteria exists.
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์œ ํ˜น์˜ ๊ฐ„์ ˆํ•จ์ด ์กด์žฌํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค..
09:37
And therefore I want to seem perfect
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์ž๊ธฐ ์ž์‹ ์ด ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์ด๊ณ 
09:39
so that another can love me.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์ž์‹ ์„ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๊ธธ ๋ฐ”๋ผ์ฃ .
09:40
I want them to be perfect
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๋˜ ์ž์‹ ์ด ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•จ์„ ํ†ตํ•ด์„œ
09:42
so that I can be reassured of my value.
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์ž๊ธฐ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ€์น˜๋ฅผ ํ™•์ธ ๋ฐ›๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:44
It leads to couples
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋Šฅ๋ ฅ์„ ๊ด‘์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ถ”๊ตฌํ•˜๋Š”
09:47
obsessed with performance
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์—ฐ์ธ๋“ค์ด
09:49
who will break up, just like that,
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๊ฒฐ๊ตญ์—๋Š” ์กฐ๊ธˆ์ด๋ผ๋„ ์‹ค์ˆ˜ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด๋ฉด
09:51
at the slightest underachievement.
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ—ค์–ด์ง€๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:54
In contrast to this attitude,
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ํƒœ๋„์— ๋น„ํ•ด
09:58
I call upon tenderness -- love as tenderness.
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์ €๋Š” ๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฌ์›€์„ ์š”๊ตฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฌ์šด ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์ด์ฃ .
10:00
What is tenderness?
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๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฌ์›€์ด๋ž€ ๋ญ˜๊นŒ์š”?
10:02
To be tender is to accept the loved one's weaknesses.
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๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฝ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ์•ฝ์ ์„ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:06
It's not about becoming a sad couple of orderlies.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์งˆ์„œ์— ์‚ฌ๋กœ์žกํžŒ ์Šฌํ”ˆ ์—ฐ์ธ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:09
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
10:11
That's pretty bad.
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๊ทธ๊ฑด ์•„์ฃผ ๋‚˜์˜์ฃ .
10:13
On the contrary,
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๋ฐ˜๋ฉด์—
10:14
there's plenty of charm and happiness in tenderness.
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๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฌ์›€ ์†์—๋Š” ์—„์ฒญ๋‚œ ๋งค๋ ฅ๊ณผ ํ–‰๋ณต์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:17
I refer specifically to a kind of humor that is unfortunately underused.
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์ €๋Š” ๋ถˆํ–‰ํ•˜๊ฒŒ๋„ ์ž์ฃผ ์‚ฌ์šฉ๋˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š” ์œ ๋จธ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€๋” ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:21
It is a sort of poetry of deliberate awkwardness.
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์˜๋„์ ์ธ ์–ด์ƒ‰ํ•จ์„ ๋ ๋Š” ์ผ์ข…์˜ ์‹œ ํ˜•์‹์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:24
I refer to self-mockery.
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์Šค์Šค๋กœ๋ฅผ ์กฐ๋กฑํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:26
For a couple who is no longer sustained, supported
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์ „ํ†ต์ ์ธ ์ œ์•ฝ์— ์˜ํ•ด์„œ
10:29
by the constraints of tradition,
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๋” ์ด์ƒ ์œ ์ง€๋˜์ง€๋„, ์ง€์ง€๋ฐ›์ง€๋„ ๋ชปํ•˜๋Š” ์—ฐ์ธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ๋Š”
10:31
I believe that self-mockery
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์Šค์Šค๋กœ๋ฅผ ์กฐ๋กฑํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด
10:33
is one of the best means for the relationship to endure.
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๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์ง€์†ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์ˆ˜๋‹จ ๊ฐ€์šด๋ฐ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋ผ๊ณ  ์ €๋Š” ๋ฏฟ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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