Charity Tillemann-Dick: After a lung transplant, an aria

92,809 views ใƒป 2011-01-18

TED


ืื ื ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ืœืžื˜ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ.

ืžืชืจื’ื: Avinoam Land ืžื‘ืงืจ: Sigal Tifferet
00:15
You may not know this,
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ืืชื ืื•ืœื™ ืœื ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื ืื‘ืœ
00:17
but you are celebrating an anniversary with me.
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ืืชื ื—ื•ื’ื’ื™ื ืื™ืชื™ ื—ื’ื™ื’ืช ื™ื•ื ืฉื ื”
00:20
I'm not married,
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ืื ื™ ืœื ื ืฉื•ืื”
00:23
but one year ago today,
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ืื‘ืœ ืœืคื ื™ ืฉื ื”, ื‘ื™ื•ื ื”ื–ื” ืžืžืฉ
00:26
I woke up
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ืื ื™ ื”ืชืขื•ืจืจืชื™
00:28
from a month-long coma,
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ืžืชืจื“ืžืช ืฉืœ ื—ื•ื“ืฉ
00:31
following a double lung transplant.
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ื•ื–ื” ืื—ืจื™ ื ื™ืชื•ื— ื”ืฉืชืœืช ืจื™ืื•ืช.
00:35
Crazy, I know. Insane.
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ืงืฉื” ืœื”ืืžื™ืŸ, ืื ื™ ื™ื•ื“ืขืช
00:40
Thank you.
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ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”.
00:42
Six years before that,
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ืฉืฉ ืฉื ื™ื ืœืคื ื™ ื–ื”
00:45
I was starting my career
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ืื ื™ ื”ืชื—ืœืชื™ ืืช ื”ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ืฉืœื™
00:47
as an opera singer in Europe,
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ื›ื–ืžืจืช ืื•ืคืจื” ื‘ืื™ืจื•ืคื”,
00:49
when I was diagnosed with
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ื•ืื– ืื ื™ ืื•ื‘ื—ื ืชื™ ืขื
00:51
idiopathic pulmonary hypertension --
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ื™ืชืจ ืœื—ืฅ ื“ื ืจื™ืืชื™ ืื™ื“ื™ื•ืคื˜ื™
00:54
also known as PH.
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ืฉื™ื“ื•ืข ื’ื ื‘ืฉื PH
00:56
It happens when there's a thickening
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ื–ื” ืงื•ืจื” ื›ืืฉืจ ื™ืฉ ื”ืชืขื‘ื•ืช
00:59
in the pulmonary veins,
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ื‘ื•ืจื™ื“ื™ ื”ืจื™ืื”
01:01
making the right side of the heart
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ื•ื–ื” ื’ื•ืจื ืœืฆื“ ื”ื™ืžื™ื ื™ ืฉืœ ื”ืœื‘
01:03
work overtime,
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ืœืขื‘ื•ื“ ืฉืขื•ืช ื ื•ืกืคื•ืช,
01:05
and causing what I call
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ืื ื™ ืงื•ืจืืช ืœื–ื”
01:07
the reverse-Grinch effect.
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ืชื•ืคืขืช ื’ืจื™ื ืฅ' ื”ืคื•ื›ื”
01:09
My heart was three-and-a-half sizes
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ื”ืœื‘ ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื” ืคื™ ืฉืœื•ืฉ ื•ื—ืฆื™ ืคืขืžื™ื
01:11
too big.
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ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื“ื™ ื’ื“ื•ืœ.
01:14
Physical activity becomes very difficult
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ืคืขื™ืœื•ืช ืคื™ื–ื™ืช ื ืขืฉื™ืช ืงืฉื” ืžืื•ื“
01:16
for people with this condition,
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ืขื‘ื•ืจ ืื ืฉื™ื ื‘ืžืฆื‘ ื”ื–ื”
01:19
and usually after two to five years,
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ื•ื‘ื“ืจืš ื›ืœืœ ืื—ืจื™ ื‘ื™ืŸ ืฉื ืชื™ื™ื ืขื“ ื—ืžืฉ ืฉื ื™ื
01:22
you die.
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ื”ื ืžืชื™ื.
01:24
I went to see this specialist,
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ื”ืœื›ืชื™ ืœืจืื•ืช ืžื•ืžื—ื” ื‘ื ื•ืฉื,
01:26
and she was top-of-the-field
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ื”ื™ื ื ื—ืฉื‘ื” ื”ื›ื™ ื˜ื•ื‘ื”,
01:28
and told me I had to stop singing.
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ื•ื”ื™ื ืืžืจื” ืœื™ ืฉืื ื™ ื—ื™ื™ื‘ืช ืœื”ืคืกื™ืง ืœืฉื™ืจ
01:31
She said, "Those high notes are going to kill you."
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ื”ื™ื ืืžืจื”: "ื”ืชื•ื™ื ื”ื’ื‘ื•ื”ื™ื ื”ืืœื” ื”ื•ืœื›ื™ื ืœื”ืจื•ื’ ืื•ืชืš".
01:34
While she didn't have any medical evidence
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ืื•ืžื ื ืœื ื”ื™ื” ืœื” ืฉื•ื ืขื“ื•ืช ืจืคื•ืื™ืช
01:36
to back up her claim
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ืœื’ื‘ื•ืช ืืช ื˜ืขื ืชื”
01:38
that there was a relationship
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ืฉื™ืฉ ืงืฉืจ
01:40
between operatic arias
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ื‘ื™ืŸ ืืจื™ื•ืช ืื•ืคืจืื™ื•ืช
01:42
and pulmonary hypertension,
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ืœื™ืชืจ ืœื—ืฅ ื“ื ืจื™ืืชื™,
01:44
she was absolutely emphatic
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ื”ื™ื ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ื‘ื˜ื•ื—ื” ืœื—ืœื•ื˜ื™ืŸ
01:46
I was singing my own obituary.
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ืฉืื ื™ ืฉืจื” ืืช ื”ื”ืกืคื“ ืฉืœ ืขืฆืžื™.
01:50
I was very limited by my condition, physically.
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ืื ื™ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžืื•ื“ ืžื•ื’ื‘ืœืช ื‘ื’ืœืœ ื”ืžื—ืœื” ื”ื–ืืช
01:53
But I was not limited when I sang,
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ืื‘ืœ, ื›ืฉืฉืจืชื™ ืื ื™ ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžื•ื’ื‘ืœืช ื‘ื›ืœืœ
01:56
and as air came up from my lungs,
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ื•ืื™ืš ืฉื”ืื•ื•ื™ืจ ื™ืฆื ืžื”ืจื™ืื•ืช ืฉืœื™
01:58
through my vocal cords
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ื“ืจืš ืžื™ืชืจื™ ื”ืงื•ืœ ืฉืœื™
02:00
and passed my lips as sound,
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ื•ืžืชื•ืš ืคื™ ื›ืžื•ืกื™ืงื”
02:03
it was the closest thing I had ever come
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ืื ื™ ื”ืชืงืจื‘ืชื™ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื›ืœ ื–ืžืŸ ืื—ืจ ื‘ื—ื™ื™
02:06
to transcendence.
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ืœื”ืชืขืœื•ืช.
02:10
And just because of someone's hunch,
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ื•ืื ื™ ืœื ื”ืชื›ื•ื•ื ืชื™ ืœื•ื•ืชืจ ืขืœ ืฉื™ืจื”
02:12
I wasn't going to give it up.
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ื‘ื’ืœืœ ื ื™ื—ื•ืฉ ืฉืœ ืžื™ืฉื”ื•.
02:15
Thankfully, I met Reda Girgis,
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ืœืžืจื‘ื” ื”ืžื–ืœ, ืคื’ืฉืชื™ ืืช ืจื™ื“ื ื’ื™ืจื’ื™ืก
02:18
who is dry as toast,
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ืื“ื ื™ื‘ืฉ ื•ืžืฉืขืžื,
02:20
but he and his team at Johns Hopkins
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื•ื ื•ื”ืฆื•ื•ืช ื‘ื‘ื™ืช ื”ื—ื•ืœื™ื ื’'ื•ื ืก ื”ื•ืคืงื™ื ืก
02:23
didn't just want me to survive,
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ืœื ืจืฆื• ืจืง ืฉืื ื™ ืืฉืจื•ื“
02:25
they wanted me
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ื”ื ื’ื ืจืฆื•
02:27
to live a meaningful life.
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ืฉืื ื™ ืื—ื™ื” ื—ื™ื™ื ืžืฉืžืขื•ืชื™ื™ื.
02:30
This meant making trade-offs.
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ืคื™ืจื•ืฉ ื”ื“ื‘ืจ, ืœื”ืชืคืฉืจ.
02:33
I come from Colorado.
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ืื ื™ ืžื’ื™ืข ืžืงื•ืœื•ืจื“ื•.
02:35
It's a mile high,
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ื–ืืช ืžื“ื™ื ื” ื‘ื’ื•ื‘ื” ืงื™ืœื•ืžื˜ืจ,
02:37
and I grew up there with my 10 brothers and sisters
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ื•ืื ื™ ื’ื“ืœืชื™ ืขื 10 ืื—ื™ื ื•ืื—ื™ื•ืช
02:40
and two adoring parents.
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ื•ืฉื ื™ ื”ื•ืจื™ื ืื•ื”ื‘ื™ื.
02:42
Well, the altitude exacerbated my symptoms.
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ื”ื’ื•ื‘ื” ื”ื—ืจื™ืฃ ืืช ื”ืกื™ืžืคื˜ื•ืžื™ื ืฉืœื™,
02:45
So I moved to Baltimore to be near my doctors
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ืื– ืขื‘ืจืชื™ ืœื’ื•ืจ ื‘ื‘ื•ืœื˜ื™ืžื•ืจ ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืงืจื•ื‘ื” ืœืจื•ืคืื™ื ืฉืœื™
02:47
and enrolled in a conservatory nearby.
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ื•ื ืจืฉืžืชื™ ื‘ืงื•ื ืกืจื‘ื˜ื•ืจื™ื•ืŸ ื‘ืื–ื•ืจ
02:51
I couldn't walk as much as I used to,
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ืื ื™ ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืœื›ืช ื‘ื›ืžื•ืช ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืจื’ื™ืœื”
02:53
so I opted for five-inch heels.
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ืื– ื”ืชื—ืœืชื™ ืœืœื›ืช ืขื ืขืงื‘ื™ื ืฉืœ 5 ื™ื ืฅ',
02:56
And I gave up salt,
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ื•ื™ืชืจืชื™ ืขืœ ืžืœื—,
02:58
I went vegan,
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ื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื˜ื‘ืขื•ื ื™ืช,
03:00
and I started taking huge doses of
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ื•ื”ืชื—ืœืชื™ ืœืงื—ืช ืžื ื•ืช ืขื ืงื™ื•ืช ืฉืœ --
03:04
sildenafil,
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ืกื™ืœื“ื ืคื™ืœ--
03:06
also known as Viagra.
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ื’ื ื™ื“ื•ืข ื‘ื›ื™ื ื•ื™ื• ื•ื™ืื’ืจื”
03:09
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
03:15
My father and my grandfather were always looking for the newest thing
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ืื‘ื ืฉืœื™ ื•ืกื‘ื ืฉืœื™ ืชืžื™ื“ ื—ื™ืคืฉื• ืืช ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ื—ื“ืฉ ื”ื‘ื
03:18
in alternative or traditional therapies
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ื‘ืจืคื•ืื” ืืœื˜ืจื ื˜ื™ื‘ื™ืช ืื• ืžืกื•ืจืชื™ืช
03:20
for PH,
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ืœืจืคื PH,
03:22
but after six months,
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ืื‘ืœ ืื—ืจื™ ืฉื™ืฉื” ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื,
03:24
I couldn't walk up a small hill. I couldn't climb a flight of stairs.
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ืื ื™ ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืขืœื•ืช ื‘ืžืขืœื” ื’ื‘ืขื” ืงื˜ื ื” ืื• ื’ืจื ืžื“ืจื’ื•ืช,
03:27
I could barely stand up
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ืื ื™ ื‘ืงื•ืฉื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืขืžื•ื“
03:29
without feeling like I was going to faint.
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ื‘ืœื™ ืœื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ ืฉืื ื™ ืขื•ืžื“ืช ืœื”ืชืขืœืฃ.
03:31
I had a heart catheterization,
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ืขื‘ืจืชื™ ืฆื™ื ืชื•ืจ ื‘ืœื‘
03:33
where they measure this internal arterial pulmonary pressure,
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ืฉื‘ื• ืžื•ื“ื“ื™ื ืืช ื”ืœื—ืฅ ื”ืจื™ืืชื™ ืขื•ืจืงื™,
03:36
which is supposed to be between 15 and 20.
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ื”ืœื—ืฅ ื”ื™ื” ืืžื•ืจ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ื™ืŸ 15 ืœ20
03:39
Mine was 146.
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ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื” 146.
03:42
I like to do things big,
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ืื ื™ ืื•ื”ื‘ืช ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื‘ื’ื“ื•ืœ.
03:45
and it meant one thing:
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ื•ื–ื” ืืžืจ ื“ื‘ืจ ืื—ื“:
03:47
there is a big gun treatment
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ื™ืฉื ื• ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ื’ื“ื•ืœ ื•ืžืกื•ื›ืŸ
03:49
for pulmonary hypertension called Flolan,
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ืขื‘ื•ืจ ื™ืชืจ ืœื—ืฅ ื“ื ืฉืงื•ืจืื™ื ืœื• ืคืœื•ืœืืŸ
03:52
and it's not just a drug;
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ื•ื–ื” ืœื ืจืง ืกื,
03:54
it's a way of life.
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ื–ืืช ื“ืจืš ื—ื™ื™ื.
03:56
Doctors insert a catheter into your chest,
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ื”ืจื•ืคืื™ื ืžื›ื ื™ืกื™ื ืงื˜ื˜ืจ ืœืชื•ืš ื”ื—ื–ื”,
03:59
which is attached to a pump
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ื”ืงื˜ื˜ืจ ืžื—ื•ื‘ืจ ืœืžืฉืื‘ื”
04:01
that weighs about four-and-a-half pounds.
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ืฉืฉื•ืงืœืช ื‘ืขืจืš ืฉื ื™ ืงื™ืœื•.
04:05
Every day, 24 hours, that pump is at your side,
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ื•ื›ืœ ื™ื•ื, 24 ืฉืขื•ืช ื‘ื™ืžืžื”, ื”ืžืฉืื‘ื” ื”ื–ืืช ื ืžืฆืืช ืœื™ื“ืš,
04:08
administering medicine
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ื•ืžืขื‘ื™ืจ ืชืจื•ืคื•ืช
04:10
directly to your heart,
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ื™ืฉืจ ืœืชื•ืš ื”ืœื‘.
04:13
and it's not
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ืœื ืžื“ื•ื‘ืจ
04:15
a particularly preferable
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ื‘ืชืจื•ืคื” ืžื•ืขื“ืคืช
04:18
medicine in many senses.
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ื‘ืจื•ื‘ ื”ืžื•ื‘ื ื™ื.
04:20
This is a list of the side effects:
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ื™ืฉ ืจืฉื™ืžื” ืืจื•ื›ื” ืฉืœ ืชื•ืคืขื•ืช ืœื•ื•ืื™:
04:23
if you eat too much salt,
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ืื ืื•ื›ืœื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื“ื™ ืžืœื—,
04:26
like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,
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ืœื“ื•ื’ืžื” ืกื ื“ื‘ื™ืฅ' ืขื ื—ืžืืช ื‘ื•ื˜ื ื™ื ื•ืจื™ื‘ื”
04:28
you'll probably end up in the ICU.
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ืกื‘ื™ืจ ืœื”ื ื™ื— ืฉืชืžืฆืื• ืืช ืขืฆืžื›ื ื‘ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ื ืžืจืฅ
04:31
If you go through a metal detector,
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ืื ื”ื•ืœื›ื™ื ื“ืจืš ื’ืœืื™ ืžืชื›ื•ืช,
04:33
you'll probably die.
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ืกื‘ื™ืจ ืœื”ื ื™ื— ืฉืชืžื•ืชื•
04:35
If you get a bubble in your medicine --
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ืื ื ื•ืฆืจืช ื‘ื•ืขื” ื‘ืžื›ื•ื ื” ืฉืœ ื”ืชืจื•ืคื” --
04:38
because you have to mix it every morning --
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ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉืฆืจื™ืš ืœืขืจื‘ื‘ ืืช ื”ืชืจื•ืคื•ืช ื›ืœ ื™ื•ื --
04:40
and it stays in there,
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ื•ื”ื‘ื•ืขื” ื ืฉืืจืช ืฉื,
04:42
you probably die.
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ืกื‘ื™ืจ ืœื”ื ื™ื— ืฉืชืžื•ืชื•
04:44
If you run out of medicine, you definitely die.
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ืื ื™ื’ืžืจื• ืœื›ื ื”ืชืจื•ืคื•ืช, ืืชื ื‘ื˜ื•ื— ืชืžื•ืชื•.
04:47
No one wants to go on Flolan.
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ืืฃ ืื—ื“ ืœื ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ืฉืชืžืฉ ื‘ืคืœื•ืœืืŸ.
04:49
But when I needed it,
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืฆืจื™ื›ื” ืื•ืชื•,
04:52
it was a godsend.
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ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืžืชื ื” ืžืฉืžื™ื™ื
04:56
Within a few days, I could walk again.
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ืชื•ืš ื›ืžื” ื™ืžื™ื, ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืœื›ืช ืฉื•ื‘.
04:59
Within a few weeks, I was performing,
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ืชื•ืš ืžืกืคืจ ืฉื‘ื•ืขื•ืช, ืื ื™ ื”ื•ืคืขืชื™ ืฉื•ื‘.
05:02
and in a few months,
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ื•ืื—ืจื™ ื›ืžื” ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื,
05:04
I debuted at the Kennedy Center.
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืœื™ ื‘ื›ื•ืจื” ื‘ืžืจื›ื– ืงื ื“ื™.
05:07
The pump was a little bit problematic when performing,
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ื”ืžืฉืื‘ื” ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ื˜ื™ืคื” ื‘ืขื™ื™ืชื™ืช ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ื”ื”ื•ืคืขื”,
05:11
so I'd attach it to my inner thigh
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ืื– ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžื—ื‘ืจืช ืื•ืชื” ืœื™ืจืš ื”ืคื ื™ืžื™ืช ืฉืœื™
05:13
with the help of the girdle and an ACE bandage.
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ื‘ืขื–ืจืช ื”ืžื—ื•ืš ื•ืชื—ื‘ื•ืฉืช ACE
05:16
Literally hundreds of elevator rides
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ืื ื™ ื”ืขื‘ืจืชื™
05:18
were spent with me alone
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ืžืื•ืช ื ืกื™ืขื•ืช ื‘ืžืขืœื™ืช ืœื‘ื“
05:20
stuffing the pump into my Spanx,
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ืžื ืกื” ืœื“ื—ื•ืฃ ืืช ื”ืžืฉืื‘ื” ืœืชื•ืš ื”ืกืคื ืงืก ืฉืœื™,
05:23
hoping the doors wouldn't open unexpectedly.
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ืžืงื•ื•ื” ืฉื”ื“ืœืชื•ืช ืœื ื™ืคืชื—ื• ืคืชืื•ื.
05:28
And the tubing coming out of my chest
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ื”ืฆื™ื ื•ืจ ืฉื™ืฆื ืžื”ื—ื–ื” ืฉืœื™
05:31
was a nightmare for costume designers.
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ื”ื™ื” ืกื™ื•ื˜ ืฉืœ ืžืขืฆื‘ื™ ืชืœื‘ื•ืฉื•ืช.
05:34
I graduated from graduate school in 2006,
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ืกื™ื™ืžืชื™ ืืช ื”ืชื•ืืจ ื”ืฉื ื™ ื‘2006,
05:37
and I got a fellowship to go back to Europe.
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ื•ืื ื™ ืงื™ื‘ืœืชื™ ืžืœื’ื” ืœื—ื–ื•ืจ ืœืื™ืจื•ืคื”.
05:40
A few days after arriving,
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ื›ืžื” ื™ืžื™ื ืื—ืจื™ ืฉื”ื’ืขืชื™,
05:42
I met this wonderful, old conductor
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ืคื’ืฉืชื™ ืžื ืฆื— ื–ืงืŸ ื ืคืœื,
05:44
who started casting me in all of these roles.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ืœืœื”ืง ืื•ืชื™ ื‘ื›ืœ ืžื™ื ื™ ืชืคืงื™ื“ื™ื.
05:46
And before long, I was commuting
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ื•ืื—ืจื™ ื–ืžืŸ ืงืฆืจ, ืื ื™ ื ืกืขืชื™
05:48
between Budapest, Milan
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ื‘ื™ืŸ ื‘ื•ื“ืืคืฉื˜, ืžื™ืœืืŸ
05:50
and Florence.
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ื•ืคื™ืจื ืฆื”.
05:52
Though I was attached
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ืืคื™ืœื• ืฉืื ื™ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžื—ื•ื‘ืจืช
05:54
to this ugly, unwanted,
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ืœื—ื™ื™ืช ื”ืžื—ืžื“ ื”ืžื›ืื ื™ืช
05:56
high-maintenance, mechanical pet,
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ื”ืžื›ื•ืขืจืช ื•ื”ืœื ืจืฆื•ื™ื” ื”ื–ืืช
05:58
my life was kind of like the happy part in an opera --
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ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื• ื›ืžื• ื”ื—ืœืง ื”ืฉืžื— ืฉืœ ืื•ืคืจื”
06:01
very complicated,
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ืžืื•ื“ ืžืกื•ื‘ื›ื™ื,
06:03
but in a good way.
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ืื‘ืœ ื‘ื“ืจืš ื˜ื•ื‘ื”.
06:05
Then in February
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ืื– ื‘ืคื‘ืจื•ืืจ
06:08
of 2008,
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ืฉืœ 2008
06:10
my grandfather passed away.
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ืกื‘ื ืฉืœื™ ื ืคื˜ืจ.
06:12
He was a big figure in all of our lives,
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ื”ื•ื ื”ื™ื” ื“ืžื•ืช ืžืื•ื“ ื—ืฉื•ื‘ื” ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœ ื›ื•ืœื ื•,
06:14
and we loved him very much.
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ื•ืžืื•ื“ ืื”ื‘ื ื• ืื•ืชื•.
06:18
It certainly didn't prepare me
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ื–ื” ื‘ื”ื—ืœื˜ ืœื ื”ื›ื™ืŸ ืื•ืชื™
06:20
for what came next.
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ืœืžื” ืฉื‘ื ืื—ืจื™ ื–ื”.
06:22
Seven weeks later,
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ืฉื‘ืขื” ืฉื‘ื•ืขื•ืช ืœืื—ืจ ืžื›ืŸ,
06:24
I got a call from my family.
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ื”ืชืงืฉืจื• ืืœื™ื™ ืžื”ืžืฉืคื—ื” ืฉืœื™.
06:27
My father had been in a catastrophic car accident,
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ืื‘ื ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื” ื‘ืชืื•ื ืช ื“ืจื›ื™ื ืงื˜ืกื˜ืจื•ืคืœื™ืช
06:31
and he died.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืžืช.
06:34
At 24, my death would have been
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ื‘ื’ื™ืœ 24, ื”ืžื•ื•ืช ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื”
06:36
entirely expected.
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ืฆืคื•ื™ ืœื—ืœื•ื˜ื™ืŸ
06:39
But his --
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ืื‘ืœ ืฉืœื• --
06:42
well, the only way I can articulate how it felt
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ื”ื“ืจืš ื”ื™ื—ื™ื“ื” ืฉื‘ื” ืื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื‘ื˜ื ืื™ืš ื”ืจื’ืฉืชื™
06:45
was that it precipitated
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ื”ื™ื ืฉื–ื” ื–ื™ืจื–
06:47
my medical decline.
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ืืช ื”ื™ืจื™ื“ื” ื”ืจืคื•ืื™ืช ืฉืœื™.
06:50
Against my doctors' and family's wishes,
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ื›ื ื’ื“ ื”ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช ืฉืœ ื”ืจื•ืคืื™ื ืฉืœื™ ื•ื”ืžืฉืคื—ื” ืฉืœื™,
06:53
I needed to go back for the funeral.
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ืื ื™ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืฆืจื™ื›ื” ืœืœื›ืช ืœืœื•ื•ื™ื”.
06:55
I had to say goodbye
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ืื ื™ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื—ื™ื™ื‘ืช ืœื”ื™ืคืจื“
06:57
in some way, shape or form.
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ื‘ื“ืจืš ื›ื–ื• ืื• ืื—ืจืช.
07:00
But soon I was showing signs of right-heart failure,
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ืื‘ืœ ืžื”ืจ ืžืื•ื“ ื’ื™ืœื™ืชื™ ืกื™ืžื ื™ื ืฉืœ ืื™ ืกืคื™ืงืช ืœื‘ ื™ืžื ื™ืช
07:03
and I had to return to sea level,
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ื•ืื ื™ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื—ื™ื™ื‘ืช ืœื—ื–ื•ืจ ืœื’ื•ื‘ื” ื™ื
07:05
doing so knowing
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ื•ื™ื“ืขืชื™ ืฉื›ืฉืื ื™ ืขื•ืฉื” ืืช ื–ื”
07:07
that I probably would never see my home again.
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ืื ื™ ื›ื ืจืื” ืืฃ ืคืขื ืœื ืืจืื” ืฉื•ื‘ ืืช ื”ื‘ื™ืช ืฉืœื™
07:12
I canceled most of my engagements that summer,
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ืื ื™ ื‘ื™ื˜ืœืชื™ ืืช ืจื•ื‘ ื”ืขื™ืกื•ืงื™ื ืฉืœื™ ื‘ืื•ืชื• ื”ืงื™ืฅ
07:15
but I had one left in Tel Aviv, so I went.
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืœื™ ื”ื•ืคืขื” ืื—ืช ื‘ืชืœ ืื‘ื™ื‘, ืื– ื”ืœื›ืชื™.
07:19
After one performance,
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ื•ืื—ืจื™ ื”ื•ืคืขื” ืื—ืช,
07:21
I could barely drag myself
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ืื ื™ ื‘ืงื•ืฉื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœื’ืจื•ืจ ืืช ืขืฆืžื™
07:23
from the stage to the taxicab.
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ืžื”ื‘ืžื” ืœืžื•ื ื™ืช.
07:25
I sat down and felt the blood
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ืื ื™ ื”ืชื™ื™ืฉื‘ืชื™ ื•ื”ืจื’ืฉืชื™ ืืช ื”ื“ื
07:27
rush down from my face,
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ื™ื•ืจื“ ืžื”ืคื ื™ื ืฉืœื™.
07:30
and in the heat of the desert,
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ื•ื‘ื—ื•ื ืฉืœ ื”ืžื“ื‘ืจ,
07:33
I was freezing cold.
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ืื ื™ ื”ืจื’ืฉืชื™ ืงืคื•ืื”.
07:35
My fingers started turning blue,
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ื”ืืฆื‘ืขื•ืช ืฉืœื™ ืฉื™ื ื• ืฆื‘ืข ืœื›ื—ื•ืœ,
07:37
and I was like, "What is going on here?"
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ื•ืื ื™ ื—ืฉื‘ืชื™, "ืžื” ืงื•ืจื” ืคื”?"
07:40
I heard my heart's valves
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ืื ื™ ืฉืžืขืชื™ ืืช ื”ืฉืกืชื•ืžื™ื ืฉืœ ื”ืœื‘ ืฉืœื™
07:42
snapping open and closed.
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ื ืคืชื—ื™ื ื•ื ืกื’ืจื™ื ื‘ื›ื•ื—.
07:44
The cab stopped,
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ื”ืžื•ื ื™ืช ื ืขืฆืจื”,
07:46
and I pulled my body from it
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ื•ืื ื™ ื’ืจืจืชื™ ืืช ื”ื’ื•ืฃ ืฉืœื™ ืžืžื ื”
07:48
feeling each ounce of weight
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ื‘ืขื•ื“ื™ ืžืจื’ื™ืฉื” ื›ืœ ื’ืจื ืฉืœ ืžืฉืงืœ
07:50
as I walked to the elevator.
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ื›ืฉื”ืœื›ืชื™ ืœื›ื™ื•ื•ืŸ ื”ืžืขืœื™ืช.
07:52
I fell through my apartment door
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ืื ื™ ื ืคืœืชื™ ืœืชื•ืš ื”ื“ื™ืจื” ืฉืœื™
07:54
and crawled to the bathroom
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ื•ื’ืจืจืชื™ ืืช ืขืฆืžื™ ืœืฉื™ืจื•ืชื™ื
07:56
where I found my problem:
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ื•ืฉื ืžืฆืืชื™ ืืช ื”ื‘ืขื™ื” ืฉืœื™:
07:58
I had forgotten to mix in
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ืื ื™ ืฉื›ื—ืชื™ ืœืขืจื‘ื‘ ื•ืœื”ื›ื ื™ืก
08:00
the most important part of my medicine.
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ืืช ื”ื—ืœืง ื”ื—ืฉื•ื‘ ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ื‘ืชืจื•ืคื” ืฉืœื™.
08:02
I was dying,
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ืื ื™ ื’ืกืกืชื™.
08:04
and if I didn't mix that stuff up fast,
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ื•ืื ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžืขืจื‘ื‘ืช ืืช ื”ืชืจื•ืคื” ืžื”ืจ,
08:06
I would never leave that apartment alive.
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ืื ื™ ืืฃ ืคืขื ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื™ื•ืฆืืช ืžื”ื“ื™ืจื” ื”ื–ืืช.
08:09
I started mixing,
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ื”ืชื—ืœืชื™ ืœืขืจื‘ื‘,
08:11
and I felt like everything was going to fall out through one hole or another,
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ื•ืื ื™ ื”ืจื’ืฉืชื™ ื›ืื™ืœื• ื”ื›ืœ ืขื•ืžื“ ืœื™ืคื•ืœ ื”ื—ื•ืฆื” ื“ืจืš ื—ื•ืจ ืื—ื“ ืื• ืื—ืจ,
08:14
but I just kept on going.
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ืžืฉื›ืชื™ ืœืขืจื‘ื‘.
08:16
Finally, with the last bottle in and the last bubble out,
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ื‘ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื“ื‘ืจ, ื”ื›ื ืกืชื™ ืืช ื”ื‘ืงื‘ื•ืง ื”ืื—ืจื•ืŸ ื•ื”ื•ืฆืืชื™ ืืช ื”ื‘ื•ืขื” ื”ืื—ืจื•ื ื”
08:18
I attached the pump to the tubing
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ื•ื—ื™ื‘ืจืชื™ ืืช ื”ืžืฉืื‘ื” ืืœ ื”ืฆื™ื ื•ืจ
08:20
and lay there hoping it would kick in
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ื•ืฉื›ื‘ืชื™ ืฉื, ืžืงื•ื•ื” ืฉื”ืชืจื•ืคื” ืชืชื—ื™ืœ ืœืคืขื•ืœ
08:22
soon enough.
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ืžืกืคื™ืง ืžื”ืจ.
08:25
If it didn't, I'd probably see my father
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ื•ืื ืœื, ืกื‘ื™ืจ ืœื”ื ื™ื— ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื ืชืงืœืช ื‘ืื‘ื ืฉืœื™
08:27
sooner than I anticipated.
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ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื•ืงื“ื ืžืฉื—ืฉื‘ืชื™.
08:29
Thankfully, in a few minutes,
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ืœืžืจื‘ื” ื”ืžื–ืœ, ืื—ืจื™ ื›ืžื” ื“ืงื•ืช
08:32
I saw the signature hive-like rash
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ืจืื™ืชื™ ืืช ื”ืคืจื™ื—ื” ื‘ืฆื•ืจืช ื›ื•ื•ืจืช
08:35
appear on my legs,
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ืฉืžื•ืคื™ืขื” ืขืœ ื”ืจื’ืœ,
08:37
which is a side effect of the medication,
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ืฉื”ื™ื ืชื•ืคืขืช ืœื•ื•ืื™ ืฉืœ ื”ืชืจื•ืคื”,
08:39
and I knew I'd be okay.
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ื•ื™ื“ืขืชื™ ืฉืื ื™ ืื”ื™ื” ื‘ืกื“ืจ.
08:41
We're not big on fear in my family,
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ืคื—ื“ ื”ื•ื ืœื ื—ืœืง ืžืฉืžืขื•ืชื™ ื‘ืžืฉืคื—ื” ืฉืœื™,
08:44
but I was scared.
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื™ ืคื—ื“ืชื™.
08:46
I went back to the States,
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ื—ื–ืจืชื™ ืœืืจื”"ื‘,
08:48
anticipating I'd return to Europe,
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ื‘ืฆื™ืคื™ื” ืœื—ื–ื•ืจ ืœืื™ืจื•ืคื”,
08:50
but the heart catheterization
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ืื‘ืœ ืฆื ืชื•ืจ ื”ืœื‘
08:52
showed that I wasn't going anywhere
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ื”ืจืื” ืฉืื ื™ ืœื ื”ื•ืœื›ืช ืœืฉื•ื ืžืงื•ื
08:55
further that a flight-for-life from Johns Hopkins Hospital.
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ืฉืจื—ื•ืง ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžืžืจื—ืง ื˜ื™ืกื” ืœื‘ื™ื”"ื— ื’'ื•ื ืก ื”ื•ืคืงื™ื ืก.
08:57
I performed here and there,
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ื”ื•ืคืขืชื™ ืคื” ื•ืฉื,
08:59
but as my condition deteriorated,
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ืคื™ ืฉื”ืžืฆื‘ ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื“ืจื“ืจ
09:01
so did my voice.
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ื›ืš ื’ื ื”ืงื•ืœ ืฉืœื™.
09:03
My doctor wanted me to get on the list for a lung transplant.
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ื”ืจื•ืคืื™ื ืฉืœื™ ืจืฆื• ืฉืื ื™ ืื›ื ืก ืœืชื•ืจ ืœื”ืฉืชืœืช ืจื™ืื•ืช
09:06
I didn't.
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื™ ืœื.
09:08
I had two friends who had recently died
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ื”ื™ื• ืœื™ ืฉื ื™ ื—ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉืžืชื•
09:11
months after having very challenging surgeries.
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ื›ืžื” ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื ืื—ืจื™ ื ื™ืชื•ื—ื™ื ืงืฉื™ื ืžืื•ื“
09:14
I knew another young man, though, who had PH
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ื•ืื ื™ ืคื’ืฉืชื™ ืื“ื ืื—ืจ, ืฉื”ื™ื” ืœื• PH
09:17
who died while waiting for one.
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ืฉืžืช ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ืฉื—ื™ื›ื” ืœื”ืฉืชืœื”.
09:19
I wanted to live.
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ืื ื™ ืจืฆื™ืชื™ ืœื—ื™ื•ืช.
09:21
I thought stem cells were a good option,
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ืื ื™ ื—ืฉื‘ืชื™ ืฉืชืื™ ื’ื–ืข ื”ื™ื• ืื•ืคืฆื™ื” ื˜ื•ื‘ื”,
09:23
but they hadn't developed to a point
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื ืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ืœื ืคื•ืชื—ื• ืœืจืžื”
09:25
where I could take advantage of them yet.
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ืฉื‘ื” ืื•ื›ืœ ืœื ืฆืœ ืื•ืชื.
09:29
I officially took a break from singing,
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ืœืงื—ืชื™ ื”ืคืกืงื” ืจืฉืžื™ืช ืžืฉื™ืจื”
09:31
and I went to the Cleveland Clinic
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ื•ื”ืœื›ืชื™ ืœืžืจืคืื” ืฉืœ ืงืœื™ื‘ืœื ื“
09:33
to be reevaluated
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ืœื”ืขืจื›ื” ืžื—ื•ื“ืฉืช
09:35
for the third time in five years, for transplant.
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ื‘ืคืขื ื”ืฉืœื™ืฉื™ืช ื‘ื—ืžืฉ ืฉื ื™ื ื”ืื—ืจื•ื ื•ืช, ืœื”ืฉืชืœื”.
09:38
I was sitting there kind of unenthusiastically talking
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ื™ืฉื‘ืชื™ ืฉื ื•ื“ื™ื‘ืจืชื™ ื‘ืฆื•ืจื” ื—ืกืจืช ื”ืชืœื”ื‘ื•ืช
09:41
with the head transplant surgeon,
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ืขื ื”ืžื ืชื— ื”ืื—ืจืื™ ืขืœ ื”ืฉืชืœื”
09:44
and I asked him if I needed a transplant,
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ื•ืฉืืœืชื™ ืื•ืชื•: "ืื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื–ืงื•ืงื” ืœื”ืฉืชืœื”,
09:47
what I could do to prepare.
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ืžื” ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืชื›ื•ื ืŸ.
09:49
He said, "Be happy.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืขื ื”: "ืชื”ื™ื™ ืฉืžื—ื”.
09:51
A happy patient
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ืคืฆื™ืื ื˜ ืฉืžื—
09:53
is a healthy patient."
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ื”ื•ื ืคืฆื™ืื ื˜ ื‘ืจื™ื."
09:56
It was like in one verbal swoop
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ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื›ืื™ืœื• ื‘ื‘ืช ืื—ืช
09:58
he had channeled my thoughts
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ื”ื•ื ืชื™ืขืœ ืืช ื”ืžื—ืฉื‘ื•ืช ืฉืœื™
10:00
on life and medicine
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ืขืœ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื, ืขืœ ืจืคื•ืื”
10:02
and Confucius.
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ื•ืขืœ ืงื•ื ืคื•ืฆื™ื•ืก.
10:04
I still didn't want a transplant,
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ืื ื™ ืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ืœื ืจืฆื™ืชื™ ื”ืฉืชืœื”,
10:07
but in a month,
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ืื‘ืœ ืื—ืจื™ ื—ื•ื“ืฉ,
10:09
I was back in the hospital
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ืื ื™ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืฉื•ื‘ ื‘ื‘ื™ืช ื”ื—ื•ืœื™ื,
10:11
with some severely edemic kankles --
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ืขื ื‘ืฆืงืช ืงืฉื” ื‘ืงืจืกื•ืœื™ื™ื -
10:14
very attractive.
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ืžืื•ื“ ืžื•ืฉืš.
10:17
And it was right-heart failure.
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ื•ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืื™-ืกืคื™ืงืช ืœื‘ ื™ืžื ื™ืช
10:21
I finally decided
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ื•ืกื•ืฃ ืกื•ืฃ ื”ื—ืœื˜ืชื™
10:23
it was time to take my doctor's advice.
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ืฉื”ื’ื™ืข ื”ื–ืžืŸ ืœืงื‘ืœ ืืช ื”ืขืฆื” ืฉืœ ื”ืจื•ืคื ืฉืœื™.
10:27
It was time for me to go to Cleveland
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ื”ื’ื™ืข ื”ื–ืžืŸ ืœืœื›ืช ืœืงืœื™ื‘ืœื ื“
10:30
and to start the agonizing wait
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ื•ืœื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ืœื—ื›ื•ืช
10:33
for a match.
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ืœื”ืชืืžื”.
10:35
But the next morning,
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ืื‘ืœ ืœืžื—ืจืช ื‘ื‘ื•ืงืจ
10:37
while I was still in the hospital,
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ื‘ืขื•ื“ื™ ื‘ื‘ื™ืช ื”ื—ื•ืœื™ื
10:39
I got a telephone call.
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ืงื™ื‘ืœืชื™ ืฉื™ื—ืช ื˜ืœืคื•ืŸ.
10:41
It was my doctor in Cleveland,
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ื”ืฉื™ื—ื” ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืžื”ืจื•ืคืื” ืฉืœื™ ื‘ืงืœื™ื‘ืœื ื“,
10:43
Marie Budev.
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ืžืจื™ ื‘ื•ื“ื•ื•.
10:45
And they had lungs.
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ื”ื™ื” ืœื”ื ื–ื•ื’ ืจื™ืื•ืช.
10:48
It was a match.
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ื•ื”ื ื”ื™ื• ืžืชืื™ืžื™ื ืขื‘ื•ืจื™.
10:50
They were from Texas.
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ื”ื ื”ื™ื• ืžื˜ืงืกืก,
10:52
And everybody was really happy for me,
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ื•ื›ืœื ื”ื™ื• ืฉืžื—ื™ื ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื™,
10:55
but me.
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ื—ื•ืฅ ืžืžื ื™.
10:57
Because, despite their problems,
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ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉืœืžืจื•ืช ื”ื‘ืขื™ื•ืช ืฉื”ื™ื• ื‘ื”ื,
10:59
I had spent my whole life training my lungs,
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ื›ืœ ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœื™ ืื ื™ ืื™ืžื ืชื™ ืืช ื”ืจื™ืื•ืช ืฉืœื™,
11:02
and I was not particularly enthusiastic
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ื•ืื ื™ ืœื ื‘ื“ื™ื•ืง ืฉืžื—ืชื™
11:04
about giving them up.
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ืœื•ื•ืชืจ ืขืœื™ื”ื.
11:06
I flew to Cleveland,
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ื˜ืกืชื™ ืœืงืœื™ื‘ืœื ื“.
11:09
and my family rushed there
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ื•ื”ืžืฉืคื—ื” ืฉืœื™ ืžื™ื”ืจื” ืœืฉื
11:11
in hopes that they would meet me
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ื‘ืชืงื•ื•ื” ืฉื”ื ื™ืคื’ืฉื• ืื•ืชื™
11:13
and say what we knew
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ื•ื™ืืžืจื• ืžื” ืฉื™ื“ืขื ื•
11:15
might be our final goodbye.
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ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืœื”ืชืจืื•ืช.
11:17
But organs don't wait,
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ืื‘ืœ ืื™ื‘ืจื™ื ืœื”ื—ืœืคื” ืœื ืžื—ื›ื™ื.
11:20
and I went into surgery
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ื•ืื ื™ ื ื›ื ืกืชื™ ืœื ื™ืชื•ื—
11:22
before I could say goodbye.
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ืœืคื ื™ ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœื”ื’ื™ื“ ืœื”ืชืจืื•ืช.
11:26
The last thing I remember
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ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ืื—ืจื•ืŸ ืฉืื ื™ ื–ื•ื›ืจืช
11:28
was lying on a white blanket,
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ื”ื™ื” ืฉืฉื›ื‘ืชื™ ืขืœ ืฉืžื™ื›ื” ืœื‘ื ื”,
11:31
telling my surgeon that I needed to see my mother again,
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ืื•ืžืจืช ืœืžื ืชื— ืฉืื ื™ ื—ื™ื™ื‘ืช ืœืจืื•ืช ืืช ืืžื ืฉืœื™ ืฉื•ื‘,
11:34
and to please try and save my voice.
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ื•ืฉื‘ื™ืงืฉืชื™ ืžืžื ื• ืœื”ืฆื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืงื•ืœ ืฉืœื™.
11:37
I fell into this apocalyptic dream world.
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ืื ื™ ื ื›ื ืกืชื™ ืœืขื•ืœื ื—ืœื•ืžื•ืช ืืคื•ืงืœื™ืคื˜ื™.
11:41
During the thirteen-and-a-half-hour surgery,
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ื‘ื–ืžืŸ ื”ื ื™ืชื•ื— ืฉืขืจืš ืฉืœื•ืฉ ืขืฉืจื” ื•ื—ืฆื™ ืฉืขื•ืช,
11:43
I flatlined twice,
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ื”ืœื‘ ืฉืœื™ ื”ืคืกื™ืง ืœืคืขื•ื ืคืขืžื™ื™ื,
11:46
40 quarts of blood
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40 ืœื™ื˜ืจื™ื ืฉืœ ื“ื
11:49
were infused into my body.
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ื”ื•ื—ื“ืจื• ืœืชื•ืš ื”ื’ื•ืฃ ืฉืœื™
11:51
And in my surgeon's 20-year career,
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ื•ื‘ืงืจื™ื™ืจื” ื”ื‘ืช 20 ืฉื ื” ืฉืœ ื”ืžื ืชื— ืฉืœื™,
11:54
he said it was among the most difficult transplants
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ื”ื•ื ืืžืจ ืฉื–ืืช ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ื”ื”ืฉืชืœื” ื”ื›ื™ ืงืฉื”
11:57
that he's ever performed.
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ืฉื”ื•ื ื‘ื™ืฆืข ืื™ ืคืขื.
12:00
They left my chest open for two weeks.
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ื”ื ื”ืฉืื™ืจื• ืืช ื”ื—ื–ื” ืฉืœื™ ืคืชื•ื— ื‘ืžืฉืš ืฉื‘ื•ืขื™ื™ื.
12:03
You could see my over-sized heart
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ื•ื”ื™ื” ืืคืฉืจ ืœืจืื•ืช ืืช ื”ืœื‘ ื”ืขื ืงื™ ืฉืœื™
12:06
beating inside of it.
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ืคื•ืขื ื‘ืชื•ื›ื•.
12:08
I was on a dozen machines
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ืื ื™ ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืžื—ื•ื‘ืจืช ืœืชืจื™ืกืจ ืžื›ื•ื ื•ืช
12:10
that were keeping me alive.
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ื•ืืœื• ื”ืฉืื™ืจื• ืื•ืชื™ ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื.
12:12
An infection ravaged my skin.
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ื–ื™ื”ื•ื ื”ื—ืจื™ื‘ ืืช ื”ืขื•ืจ ืฉืœื™.
12:20
I had hoped my voice would be saved,
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ืื ื™ ืงื™ื•ื•ื™ืชื™ ืฉื”ืงื•ืœ ืฉืœื™ ื™ื—ื–ื•ืจ,
12:23
but my doctors knew
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ืจื•ืคืื™ื ื™ื“ืขื•
12:25
that the breathing tubes going down my throat
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ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืฉืฆื™ื ื•ืจื•ืช ื”ื ืฉื™ืžื” ืฉื”ื ื”ื›ื ื™ืกื• ื‘ื’ืจื•ืŸ ืฉืœื™
12:27
might have already destroyed it.
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ื›ื‘ืจ ื”ืจืกื• ืื•ืชื•.
12:29
If they stayed in, there was no way I would ever sing again.
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ืื ื”ื ื”ื™ื• ื ืฉืืจื™ื ื‘ื’ืจื•ืŸ ืฉืœื™, ืื™ืŸ ืกื™ื›ื•ื™ ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืฉืจื” ืื™ ืคืขื.
12:32
So my doctor got the ENT,
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ืื– ื”ืจื•ืคืื™ื ื”ื‘ื™ืื• ืืช ื”ENT--
12:35
the top guy at the clinic, to come down
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ื”ืื™ืฉ ื”ืื—ืจืื™ ืขืœ ื”ืžืจืคืื” -- ืœื‘ื•ื
12:38
and give me surgery
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ื•ืœืชืช ืœื™ ื ื™ืชื•ื—
12:40
to move the tubes around my voice box.
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื•ืฆื™ื ืืช ื”ืฆื™ื ื•ืจื•ืช ืกื‘ื™ื‘ ืชื™ื‘ืช ื”ืงื•ืœ ืฉืœื™.
12:44
He said it would kill me.
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ื”ื•ื ืืžืจ ืฉื–ื” ื™ื”ืจื•ื’ ืื•ืชื™.
12:46
So my own surgeon performed the procedure
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ืื– ื”ืžื ืชื— ืฉืœื™ ื‘ื™ืฆืข ืืช ื”ืชื”ืœื™ืš
12:48
in a last-ditch attempt to save my voice.
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ื‘ื ื™ืกื™ื•ืŸ ืื—ืจื•ืŸ ืœื”ืฆื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืงื•ืœ ืฉืœื™.
12:51
Though my mom couldn't say goodbye to me
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ืœืžืจื•ืช ืฉืืžื ืฉืœื™ ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ื”ื™ืชื” ืœื”ื™ืคืจื“ ืžืžื ื™
12:53
before the surgery,
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ืœืคื ื™ ื”ื ื™ืชื•ื—,
12:55
she didn't leave my side
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ื”ื™ื ืœื ืขื–ื‘ื” ืื•ืชื™ ืœืจื’ืข
12:58
in the months of recovery that followed.
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ื‘ืžื”ืœืš ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ ื”ื”ืชืื•ืฉืฉื•ืช ืœืื—ืจ ืžื›ืŸ.
13:01
And if you want an example
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ื•ืื ืืชื ืจื•ืฆื™ื ื“ื•ื’ืžื
13:03
of perseverance,
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ืฉืœ ื”ืชืžื“ื”,
13:05
grit and strength
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ื•ืฉืœ ื›ื•ื—
13:07
in a beautiful, little package,
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ื‘ืชื•ืš ื—ื‘ื™ืœื” ืงื˜ื ื” ื•ื™ืคื™ืคื™ื”,
13:10
it is her.
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ืื– ื”ื™ื ื›ื–ืืช.
13:15
One year ago
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ืœืคื ื™ ืฉื ื”
13:17
to this very day,
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ื‘ื™ื•ื ื”ื–ื” ืžืžืฉ,
13:20
I woke up.
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ื”ืชืขื•ืจืจืชื™.
13:22
I was 95 lbs.
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ืฉืงืœืชื™ 43 ืงื™ืœื•ื’ืจื
13:24
There were a dozen tubes
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ื”ื™ื• ื›ืœ ืžื™ื ื™ ืฆื™ื ื•ืจื•ืช
13:26
coming in and out of my body.
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ืฉื™ืฆืื• ื•ื ื›ื ืกื• ืœื’ื•ืฃ ืฉืœื™.
13:28
I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk,
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ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืœื›ืช, ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœื“ื‘ืจ,
13:30
I couldn't eat, I couldn't move,
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ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืื›ื•ืœ, ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœื–ื•ื–,
13:32
I certainly couldn't sing,
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ื‘ื˜ื— ืฉืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืฉื™ืจ,
13:34
I couldn't even breathe,
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ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืืคื™ืœื• ืœื ืฉื•ื,
13:37
but when I looked up
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ืฉื”ืกืชื›ืœืชื™ ืœืžืขืœื”
13:40
and I saw my mother,
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ื•ืจืื™ืชื™ ืืช ืืžื ืฉืœื™,
13:43
I couldn't help but smile.
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ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืฉืœื ืœื—ื™ื™ืš.
13:47
Whether by a Mack truck
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ื‘ื™ืŸ ืื ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืžืฉืื™ืช
13:50
or by heart failure
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ืื• ืื™ ืกืคื™ืงืช ืœื‘
13:52
or faulty lungs,
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ืื• ืจื™ืื•ืช ืœืงื•ื™ื•ืช,
13:54
death happens.
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ืžื•ื•ืช ืงื•ืจื”.
13:56
But life isn't really just about avoiding death, is it?
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ืื‘ืœ ืžื˜ืจืช ื”ื—ื™ื™ื ื”ื™ื ืœื ื‘ืืžืช ืจืง ื”ื™ืžื ืขื•ืช ืžืžื•ื•ืช, ื ื›ื•ืŸ?
14:00
It's about living.
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ืžื“ื•ื‘ืจ ื’ื ื‘ืœื—ื™ื•ืช.
14:03
Medical conditions don't negate the human condition.
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ืžืฆื‘ื™ื ืจืคื•ืื™ื™ื ืื™ื ื ืฉื•ืœืœื™ื ืืช ื”ืžืฆื‘ ื”ืื ื•ืฉื™.
14:07
And when people are allowed
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ื•ื›ืฉืื ืฉื™ื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื
14:09
to pursue their passions,
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ืœืจื“ื•ืฃ ืื—ืจื™ ื”ืชืฉื•ืงื•ืช ืฉืœื”ื,
14:11
doctors will find they have better,
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ื”ืจื•ืคืื™ื ื™ื’ืœื• ืฉื™ืฉ ืœื”ื
14:13
happier and healthier patients.
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ืคืฆื™ืื ื˜ื™ื ืฉืžื—ื™ื ื•ื‘ืจื™ืื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ.
14:15
My parents were totally stressed out
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ื”ื”ื•ืจื™ื ืฉืœื™ ื”ื™ื• ืžืื•ื“ ืœื—ื•ืฆื™ื
14:18
about me going and auditioning
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ืฉืื ื™ ื”ืœื›ืชื™ ืœืžื‘ื—ื ื™ ื‘ื“
14:20
and traveling and performing all over the place,
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ื•ืฉื˜ื™ื™ืœืชื™ ื•ื”ื•ืคืขืชื™ ื‘ื›ืœ ืžืงื•ื,
14:23
but they knew that it was much better for me to do that
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื ื™ื“ืขื• ืฉื–ื” ืขื“ื™ืฃ ืœื™ ื‘ื”ืจื‘ื”
14:25
than be preoccupied with my own mortality all of the time.
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ืžืืฉืจ ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืจืง ืขืœ ื”ืžื•ื•ืช ืฉืœื™ ื›ืœ ื”ื–ืžืŸ.
14:29
And I'm so grateful they did.
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ื•ืื ื™ ื›ืœ ื›ืš ืฉืžื—ื” ืฉื”ื ื”ื‘ื™ื ื• ืืช ื–ื”.
14:31
This past summer, when I was running and singing
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ื‘ืงื™ืฅ ื”ืื—ืจื•ืŸ ืฉื‘ื• ืจืฆืชื™ ื•ืฉืจืชื™
14:34
and dancing and playing with my nieces and my nephews
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ื•ืจืงื“ืชื™ ื•ืฉื™ื—ืงืชื™ ืขื ื”ืื—ื™ื™ื ื™ื ื•ื”ืื—ื™ื™ื ื•ืช ืฉืœื™,
14:37
and my brothers and my sisters and my mother and my grandmother
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ื•ื”ืื—ื™ื ื•ื”ืื—ื™ื•ืช ืฉืœื™, ื•ืืžื ื•ืกื‘ืชื ืฉืœื™
14:40
in the Colorado Rockies,
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ื‘ื”ืจื™ ื”ืจื•ืงื™ ื‘ืงื•ืœื•ืจื“ื•,
14:42
I couldn't help but think of that doctor
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ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืฉืœื ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืขืœ ืื•ืชื” ืจื•ืคืื”
14:44
who told me that I couldn't sing.
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ืฉืืžืจื” ืœื™ ืฉืื ื™ ืœื ืื•ื›ืœ ืœืฉื™ืจ.
14:47
And I wanted to tell her,
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ื•ืื ื™ ืจืง ืจืฆื™ืชื™ ืœื”ื’ื™ื“ ืœื”,
14:49
and I want to tell you,
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ื•ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ื’ื™ื“ ืœื›ื,
14:52
we need to stop letting disease
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ืื ื—ื ื• ื—ื™ื™ื‘ื™ื ืœื”ืคืกื™ืง ืœื”ืจืฉื•ืช ืœืžื—ืœื•ืช
14:55
divorce us from our dreams.
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ืœื”ืคืจื™ื“ ืื•ืชื ื• ืžื”ื—ืœื•ืžื•ืช ืฉืœื ื•.
14:58
When we do,
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ื›ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืขื•ืฉื™ื ื–ืืช,
15:00
we will find that patients
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ืื ื—ื ื• ื ื’ืœื” ืฉืคืฆื™ืื ื˜ื™ื
15:02
don't just survive;
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ืœื ืจืง ืฉื•ืจื“ื™ื,
15:05
we thrive.
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืžืฉื’ืฉื’ื™ื.
15:08
And some of us
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ื•ื—ืœืง ืžืืชื ื•
15:10
might even sing.
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ืืคื™ืœื• ื™ืฉื™ืจื•.
15:13
(Applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
15:17
[Singing: French]
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[ืฉื™ืจื”: ืฆืจืคืชื™ืช]
17:37
Thank you.
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ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”
17:39
(Applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
17:45
Thank you.
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ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”.
17:47
And I'd like to thank my pianist, Monica Lee.
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ื•ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ื•ื“ื•ืช ืœืคืกื ืชืจื ื™ืช ืฉืœื™, ืžื•ื ื™ืงื” ืœื™.
17:50
(Applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
17:55
Thank you so much.
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ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”.
17:57
Thank you.
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ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”.
ืขืœ ืืชืจ ื–ื”

ืืชืจ ื–ื” ื™ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืกืจื˜ื•ื ื™ YouTube ื”ืžื•ืขื™ืœื™ื ืœืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช. ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืขื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื. ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืฆื’ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื“ืฃ ื•ื™ื“ืื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ืžืฉื. ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื’ื•ืœืœื•ืช ื‘ืกื ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืขื ื”ืคืขืœืช ื”ื•ื•ื™ื“ืื•. ืื ื™ืฉ ืœืš ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืื• ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช, ืื ื ืฆื•ืจ ืื™ืชื ื• ืงืฉืจ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ืคืก ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ื–ื”.

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