9/11 healing: The mothers who found forgiveness, friendship

88,455 views ・ 2011-05-02

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00:15
Phyllis Rodriguez: We are here today
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because of the fact
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that we have what most people consider
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an unusual friendship.
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00:24
And it is.
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And yet, it feels natural to us now.
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00:29
I first learned
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that my son had been in the World Trade Center
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on the morning of September 11th, 2001.
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00:39
We didn't know
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if he had perished yet
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until 36 hours later.
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00:48
At the time,
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we knew that it was political.
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00:53
We were afraid of what our country was going to do
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in the name of our son --
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00:58
my husband, Orlando, and I and our family.
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01:01
And when I saw it --
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and yet, through the shock,
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the terrible shock,
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and the terrible explosion in our lives, literally,
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we were not vengeful.
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01:16
And a couple of weeks later
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01:18
when Zacarias Moussaoui was indicted
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on six counts of conspiracy to commit terrorism,
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and the U.S. government called for a death penalty
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for him, if convicted,
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01:31
my husband and I spoke out
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in opposition to that, publicly.
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01:37
Through that
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01:39
and through human rights groups,
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01:41
we were brought together
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with several other victims' families.
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01:46
When I saw Aicha in the media,
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coming over when her son was indicted,
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and I thought, "What a brave woman.
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Someday I want to meet that woman when I'm stronger."
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I was still in deep grief;
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I knew I didn't have the strength.
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I knew I would find her someday,
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or we would find each other.
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Because, when people heard that my son was a victim,
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I got immediate sympathy.
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But when people learned
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what her son was accused of,
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she didn't get that sympathy.
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02:19
But her suffering is equal to mine.
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02:22
So we met in November 2002,
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and Aicha will now tell you
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how that came about.
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02:33
(Translator) Aicha el-Wafi: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
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02:39
I am the mother of Zacarias Moussaoui.
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02:48
And I asked
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02:53
the Organization of Human Rights
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to put me in touch with the parents of the victims.
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03:03
So they introduced me
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to five families.
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03:12
And I saw Phyllis, and I watched her.
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She was the only mother in the group.
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The others were brothers, sisters.
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03:28
And I saw in her eyes
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that she was a mother, just like me.
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03:34
I suffered a lot as a mother.
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03:41
I was married when I was 14.
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I lost a child when I was 15,
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a second child when I was 16.
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So the story with Zacarias was too much really.
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04:03
And I still suffer,
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because my son
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is like he's buried alive.
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04:14
I know she really cried for her son.
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04:19
But she knows where he is.
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04:28
My son, I don't know where he is.
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I don't know if he's alive. I don't know if he's tortured.
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04:32
I don't know what happened to him.
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04:38
So that's why I decided to tell my story,
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so that my suffering is something positive for other women.
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04:48
For all the women, all the mothers that give life,
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you can give back,
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you can change.
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04:59
It's up to us women,
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05:02
because we are women,
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because we love our children.
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05:13
We must be hand-in-hand
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and do something together.
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05:19
It's not against women,
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05:21
it's for us, for us women,
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for our children.
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05:34
I talk against violence, against terrorism.
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05:37
I go to schools
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to talk to young, Muslim girls
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so they don't accept to be married against their will very young.
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So if I can save one of the young girls,
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and avoid that they get married and suffer as much as I did,
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06:06
well this is something good.
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06:10
This is why I'm here in front of you.
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06:12
PR: I would like to say
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06:14
that I have learned so much from Aicha,
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06:17
starting with that day we had our very first meeting
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06:20
with other family members --
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06:22
which was a very private meeting with security,
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06:25
because it was November 2002,
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06:28
and, frankly, we were afraid of the super-patriotism of that time in the country --
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06:34
those of us family members.
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But we were all so nervous.
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06:41
"Why does she want to meet us?"
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06:44
And then she was nervous.
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06:46
"Why did we want to meet her?"
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06:48
What did we want from each other?
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06:52
Before we knew each others' names, or anything,
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06:55
we had embraced and wept.
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06:57
Then we sat in a circle
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07:00
with support, with help,
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07:02
from people experienced in this kind of reconciliation.
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07:06
And Aicha started,
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07:08
and she said,
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07:10
"I don't know if my son
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is guilty or innocent,
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07:15
but I want to tell you how sorry I am
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07:18
for what happened to your families.
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07:23
I know what it is to suffer,
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07:26
and I feel that if there is a crime,
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a person should be tried fairly and punished."
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07:35
But she reached out to us in that way,
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07:39
and it was, I'd like to say, it was an ice-breaker.
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07:43
And what happened then is we all told our stories,
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07:47
and we all connected as human beings.
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07:49
By the end of the afternoon --
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07:51
it was about three hours after lunch --
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we'd felt as if we'd known each other forever.
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07:57
Now what I learned from her,
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is a woman, not only who could be so generous
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08:02
under these present circumstances
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and what it was then,
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and what was being done to her son,
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but the life she's had.
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08:10
I never had met
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someone with such a hard life,
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from such a totally different culture and environment from my own.
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08:19
And I feel
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that we have
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a special connection,
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which I value very much.
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08:27
And I think it's all about
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being afraid of the other,
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but making that step
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and then realizing, "Hey, this wasn't so hard.
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Who else can I meet that I don't know,
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or that I'm so different from?"
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08:44
So, Aicha,
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08:46
do you have a couple of words
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for conclusion?
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08:50
Because our time is up.
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08:52
(Laughter)
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09:00
(Translator) AW: I wanted to say
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that we have to try to know other people, the other.
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09:08
You have to be generous,
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and your hearts must be generous,
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09:12
your mind must be generous.
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09:15
You must be tolerant.
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09:20
You have to fight against violence.
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And I hope that someday we'll all live together
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in peace and respecting each other.
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09:32
This is what I wanted to say.
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09:34
(Applause)
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