9/11 healing: The mothers who found forgiveness, friendship

88,426 views ・ 2011-05-02

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:15
Phyllis Rodriguez: We are here today
0
15260
3000
00:18
because of the fact
1
18260
2000
00:20
that we have what most people consider
2
20260
2000
00:22
an unusual friendship.
3
22260
2000
00:24
And it is.
4
24260
2000
00:26
And yet, it feels natural to us now.
5
26260
3000
00:29
I first learned
6
29260
2000
00:31
that my son had been in the World Trade Center
7
31260
4000
00:35
on the morning of September 11th, 2001.
8
35260
4000
00:39
We didn't know
9
39260
2000
00:41
if he had perished yet
10
41260
2000
00:43
until 36 hours later.
11
43260
3000
00:48
At the time,
12
48260
2000
00:50
we knew that it was political.
13
50260
3000
00:53
We were afraid of what our country was going to do
14
53260
3000
00:56
in the name of our son --
15
56260
2000
00:58
my husband, Orlando, and I and our family.
16
58260
3000
01:01
And when I saw it --
17
61260
2000
01:03
and yet, through the shock,
18
63260
2000
01:05
the terrible shock,
19
65260
2000
01:07
and the terrible explosion in our lives, literally,
20
67260
6000
01:13
we were not vengeful.
21
73260
3000
01:16
And a couple of weeks later
22
76260
2000
01:18
when Zacarias Moussaoui was indicted
23
78260
3000
01:21
on six counts of conspiracy to commit terrorism,
24
81260
5000
01:26
and the U.S. government called for a death penalty
25
86260
3000
01:29
for him, if convicted,
26
89260
2000
01:31
my husband and I spoke out
27
91260
3000
01:34
in opposition to that, publicly.
28
94260
3000
01:37
Through that
29
97260
2000
01:39
and through human rights groups,
30
99260
2000
01:41
we were brought together
31
101260
2000
01:43
with several other victims' families.
32
103260
3000
01:46
When I saw Aicha in the media,
33
106260
3000
01:49
coming over when her son was indicted,
34
109260
3000
01:52
and I thought, "What a brave woman.
35
112260
3000
01:55
Someday I want to meet that woman when I'm stronger."
36
115260
3000
01:58
I was still in deep grief;
37
118260
2000
02:00
I knew I didn't have the strength.
38
120260
2000
02:02
I knew I would find her someday,
39
122260
2000
02:04
or we would find each other.
40
124260
2000
02:06
Because, when people heard that my son was a victim,
41
126260
4000
02:10
I got immediate sympathy.
42
130260
3000
02:13
But when people learned
43
133260
2000
02:15
what her son was accused of,
44
135260
2000
02:17
she didn't get that sympathy.
45
137260
2000
02:19
But her suffering is equal to mine.
46
139260
3000
02:22
So we met in November 2002,
47
142260
3000
02:25
and Aicha will now tell you
48
145260
3000
02:28
how that came about.
49
148260
3000
02:33
(Translator) Aicha el-Wafi: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
50
153260
4000
02:39
I am the mother of Zacarias Moussaoui.
51
159260
4000
02:48
And I asked
52
168260
5000
02:53
the Organization of Human Rights
53
173260
2000
02:55
to put me in touch with the parents of the victims.
54
175260
5000
03:03
So they introduced me
55
183260
3000
03:06
to five families.
56
186260
3000
03:12
And I saw Phyllis, and I watched her.
57
192260
4000
03:17
She was the only mother in the group.
58
197260
3000
03:22
The others were brothers, sisters.
59
202260
4000
03:28
And I saw in her eyes
60
208260
2000
03:30
that she was a mother, just like me.
61
210260
3000
03:34
I suffered a lot as a mother.
62
214260
3000
03:41
I was married when I was 14.
63
221260
3000
03:46
I lost a child when I was 15,
64
226260
3000
03:51
a second child when I was 16.
65
231260
3000
03:57
So the story with Zacarias was too much really.
66
237260
4000
04:03
And I still suffer,
67
243260
4000
04:07
because my son
68
247260
2000
04:09
is like he's buried alive.
69
249260
3000
04:14
I know she really cried for her son.
70
254260
5000
04:19
But she knows where he is.
71
259260
3000
04:28
My son, I don't know where he is.
72
268260
2000
04:30
I don't know if he's alive. I don't know if he's tortured.
73
270260
2000
04:32
I don't know what happened to him.
74
272260
2000
04:38
So that's why I decided to tell my story,
75
278260
2000
04:40
so that my suffering is something positive for other women.
76
280260
3000
04:48
For all the women, all the mothers that give life,
77
288260
4000
04:55
you can give back,
78
295260
2000
04:57
you can change.
79
297260
2000
04:59
It's up to us women,
80
299260
3000
05:02
because we are women,
81
302260
3000
05:05
because we love our children.
82
305260
2000
05:13
We must be hand-in-hand
83
313260
2000
05:15
and do something together.
84
315260
2000
05:19
It's not against women,
85
319260
2000
05:21
it's for us, for us women,
86
321260
2000
05:23
for our children.
87
323260
2000
05:34
I talk against violence, against terrorism.
88
334260
3000
05:37
I go to schools
89
337260
2000
05:39
to talk to young, Muslim girls
90
339260
3000
05:42
so they don't accept to be married against their will very young.
91
342260
4000
05:58
So if I can save one of the young girls,
92
358260
5000
06:03
and avoid that they get married and suffer as much as I did,
93
363260
3000
06:06
well this is something good.
94
366260
2000
06:10
This is why I'm here in front of you.
95
370260
2000
06:12
PR: I would like to say
96
372260
2000
06:14
that I have learned so much from Aicha,
97
374260
3000
06:17
starting with that day we had our very first meeting
98
377260
3000
06:20
with other family members --
99
380260
2000
06:22
which was a very private meeting with security,
100
382260
3000
06:25
because it was November 2002,
101
385260
3000
06:28
and, frankly, we were afraid of the super-patriotism of that time in the country --
102
388260
6000
06:34
those of us family members.
103
394260
4000
06:38
But we were all so nervous.
104
398260
3000
06:41
"Why does she want to meet us?"
105
401260
3000
06:44
And then she was nervous.
106
404260
2000
06:46
"Why did we want to meet her?"
107
406260
2000
06:48
What did we want from each other?
108
408260
3000
06:52
Before we knew each others' names, or anything,
109
412260
3000
06:55
we had embraced and wept.
110
415260
2000
06:57
Then we sat in a circle
111
417260
3000
07:00
with support, with help,
112
420260
2000
07:02
from people experienced in this kind of reconciliation.
113
422260
4000
07:06
And Aicha started,
114
426260
2000
07:08
and she said,
115
428260
2000
07:10
"I don't know if my son
116
430260
3000
07:13
is guilty or innocent,
117
433260
2000
07:15
but I want to tell you how sorry I am
118
435260
3000
07:18
for what happened to your families.
119
438260
5000
07:23
I know what it is to suffer,
120
443260
3000
07:26
and I feel that if there is a crime,
121
446260
4000
07:30
a person should be tried fairly and punished."
122
450260
4000
07:35
But she reached out to us in that way,
123
455260
4000
07:39
and it was, I'd like to say, it was an ice-breaker.
124
459260
4000
07:43
And what happened then is we all told our stories,
125
463260
4000
07:47
and we all connected as human beings.
126
467260
2000
07:49
By the end of the afternoon --
127
469260
2000
07:51
it was about three hours after lunch --
128
471260
4000
07:55
we'd felt as if we'd known each other forever.
129
475260
2000
07:57
Now what I learned from her,
130
477260
2000
07:59
is a woman, not only who could be so generous
131
479260
3000
08:02
under these present circumstances
132
482260
2000
08:04
and what it was then,
133
484260
2000
08:06
and what was being done to her son,
134
486260
2000
08:08
but the life she's had.
135
488260
2000
08:10
I never had met
136
490260
2000
08:12
someone with such a hard life,
137
492260
2000
08:14
from such a totally different culture and environment from my own.
138
494260
5000
08:19
And I feel
139
499260
2000
08:21
that we have
140
501260
2000
08:23
a special connection,
141
503260
2000
08:25
which I value very much.
142
505260
2000
08:27
And I think it's all about
143
507260
3000
08:30
being afraid of the other,
144
510260
2000
08:32
but making that step
145
512260
3000
08:35
and then realizing, "Hey, this wasn't so hard.
146
515260
3000
08:38
Who else can I meet that I don't know,
147
518260
2000
08:40
or that I'm so different from?"
148
520260
3000
08:44
So, Aicha,
149
524260
2000
08:46
do you have a couple of words
150
526260
2000
08:48
for conclusion?
151
528260
2000
08:50
Because our time is up.
152
530260
2000
08:52
(Laughter)
153
532260
3000
09:00
(Translator) AW: I wanted to say
154
540260
2000
09:02
that we have to try to know other people, the other.
155
542260
3000
09:08
You have to be generous,
156
548260
2000
09:10
and your hearts must be generous,
157
550260
2000
09:12
your mind must be generous.
158
552260
3000
09:15
You must be tolerant.
159
555260
2000
09:20
You have to fight against violence.
160
560260
2000
09:26
And I hope that someday we'll all live together
161
566260
3000
09:29
in peace and respecting each other.
162
569260
3000
09:32
This is what I wanted to say.
163
572260
2000
09:34
(Applause)
164
574260
13000
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7