Should you care what your parents think?

583,926 views ・ 2022-10-04

TED-Ed


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

Prevodilac: Una Kavazović Lektor: Milenka Okuka
00:08
If I told you not to press this big red button,
0
8588
4880
Ako vam kažem da ne pritisnete ovo veliko crveno dugme,
00:14
what would you do?
1
14552
1293
šta biste uradili?
00:16
For many people, there’s no greater motivation to do something
2
16345
3629
Za mnoge ljude nema veće motivacije da urade nešto
00:19
than being told they can’t.
3
19974
2127
od toga da im se kaže da to ne mogu.
00:22
So, what is it about being told “no” that triggers this response?
4
22351
5715
Pa, šta je to kod reči „ne” što izaziva ovakvu reakciju?
00:29
One of the most enduring explanations for this behavior
5
29067
3420
Jedno od najdugoročnijih objašnjenja za ovo ponašanje
00:32
is what psychologists call reactance theory.
6
32487
3670
je ono što psiholozi nazivaju teorijom reaktanse.
00:36
Reactance is a motivational state that occurs
7
36741
3420
Reaktansa je motivaciono stanje koje se javlja
00:40
when people feel their freedom is being threatened,
8
40161
3170
kada ljudi osećaju da njihova sloboda biva ugrožena,
00:43
and it compels them to take actions they see as restoring that freedom.
9
43456
4796
što ih navodi da preduzimaju radnje za koje misle da će im tu slobodu vratiti.
00:48
Sometimes this emerges as general frustration or direct argument,
10
48795
4713
Ponekad se ovo ispoljava kao opšta frustracija ili direktna rasprava,
00:53
but the most straightforward response
11
53508
2127
ali najdirektniji odgovor
00:55
is to simply do the thing they were told not to.
12
55635
3503
je rađenje onoga što im je rečeno da ne smeju.
00:59
This behavior plays out in public spaces,
13
59722
2628
Ovo ponašanje se dešava u javnom prostoru,
01:02
like when people ignore health campaigns they perceive as overbearing,
14
62350
3754
kada ljudi ignorišu zdravstvene kampanje koje vide kao opresivne,
01:06
and in private spaces, like parent-child relationships.
15
66104
4004
i u privatnom prostoru, kao što je odnos roditelj-dete.
01:10
However, there are situations where something being forbidden
16
70233
4129
Međutim, ima situacija kada zabrana neke stvari
01:14
actually makes it less tempting.
17
74362
2586
nju zapravo čini manje privlačnom.
01:17
In 1972, psychologists at the University of Colorado
18
77782
4671
Godine 1972, psiholozi sa univerziteta u Koloradu
01:22
wanted to know if a romantic relationship facing parental disapproval
19
82453
4922
su želeli da znaju da li romantična veza koja nailazi na osudu roditelja
01:27
was more likely to strengthen or crumble under the pressure.
20
87375
4129
ima veće šanse da ojača ili da se raspadne pod pritiskom.
01:32
To answer this question, they surveyed 140 couples,
21
92004
4171
Da bi dali odgovor na ovo pitanje, ispitali su 140 parova,
01:36
varying widely in measures of happiness,
22
96259
2460
koji su se razlikovali po nivou sreće,
01:38
but all fairly serious in terms of commitment.
23
98803
3086
ali koji su svi bili prilično ozbiljni po pitanju odanosti.
01:42
Only some couples reported perceived parental opposition to their relationship
24
102640
4796
Samo nekoliko parova je zapazilo protivljenje roditelja njihovoj vezi
01:47
over the study’s six-month period.
25
107436
2086
tokom šest meseci trajanja istraživanja.
01:49
But those that did also reported a steady increase in love for one another.
26
109730
5464
Ali oni koji jesu su takođe prijavili stalni porast međusobne ljubavi.
01:55
The researchers named this trend the Romeo and Juliet Effect
27
115862
4629
Istraživači su nazvali ovaj trend efekat Romea i Julije
02:00
after literature’s most famous forbidden lovers
28
120491
2920
po najpoznatijim zabranjenim ljubavnicima u književnosti
02:03
and concluded that the results were largely motivated by reactance.
29
123536
4087
i zaključili da su rezultati bili u velikoj meri motivisani reaktansom.
02:07
But in the decades since this publication,
30
127707
2586
Međutim, u decenijama nakon ove studije,
02:10
most follow-up studies have suggested the opposite is true.
31
130418
4171
većina narednih istraživanja je sugerisala da je suprotno zapravo tačno.
02:15
In fact, the long-term success of a romantic relationship
32
135548
3754
U stvari, dugotrajni uspeh romantične veze
02:19
can be predicted by the perceived approval or disapproval
33
139302
4212
se može predvideti na osnovu zapaženog odobravanja ili neodobravanja
02:23
of the couple’s friends and family.
34
143514
2127
od strane prijatelja i porodice tog para.
02:26
This trend is known as the Social Network Effect.
35
146267
4296
Ovaj trend je poznat kao efekat društvene mreže.
02:31
So why doesn’t reactance win out over the Social Network Effect?
36
151272
4504
Pa, zašto onda reaktansa ne pobedi nad efektom društvene mreže?
02:36
You might think it’s because we value our existing relationships
37
156027
3170
Možete pomisliti da je tako jer cenimo naše postojeće veze
02:39
over our potential relationships.
38
159197
2544
više od naših potencijalnih veza.
02:41
But in most cases, disapproving friends and family
39
161741
3753
Međutim, u većini slučajeva, negodujući prijatelji i porodica
02:45
are just voicing negative opinions or passively not supporting a relationship.
40
165494
4922
samo izražavaju negativno mišljenje ili pasivno ne podržavaju vezu.
02:50
It’s rarely a dramatic choice of us or them.
41
170750
3503
Retko je to dramatičan izbor između nas i njih.
02:54
And when it comes to parents,
42
174545
1627
A kada se radi o roditeljima,
02:56
most people with good relationships with their parents
43
176172
2586
većina ljudi sa dobrim odnosima sa svojim roditeljima
02:58
feel they can ignore their parent’s advice without serious consequences,
44
178758
4629
oseća da mogu da ignorišu savete roditelja bez ozbiljnih posledica,
03:03
while people with bad parental relationships
45
183679
2628
dok ljude sa lošim odnosima sa roditeljima
03:06
often don’t care what they think anyway.
46
186307
2586
često uopšte i ne zanima šta oni misle.
03:09
So if disapproved relationships are more likely to fail,
47
189393
3671
Ako veze koje nailaze na neodobravanje imaju veće šanse da propadnu,
03:13
does this mean we’re not willing to fight to date who we want?
48
193397
3212
da li ovo znači da nismo voljni da se borimo za onog koga želimo?
03:17
Well, it might vary from person to person.
49
197109
3170
To se može razlikovati od osobe do osobe.
03:20
One theory is that there’s actually two types of reactance:
50
200738
4213
Jedna teorija je da zapravo postoje dva tipa reaktanse:
03:24
defiant reactance, which is impulsively doing the opposite of what we’re told,
51
204951
4462
prkosna reaktansa, gde impulsivno radimo suprotno od onog što nam je rečeno,
03:29
and independent reactance, which reflects our deeper desire to make our own choices.
52
209580
6048
i nezavisna reaktansa, koja oslikava našu dublju želju da sami donosimo odluke.
03:35
For example, if you tell someone with high defiant reactance to lower their voice,
53
215920
5839
Na primer, ako kažete nekome sa visokom prkosnom reaktansom da govori tiše,
03:41
they’ll probably start shouting.
54
221759
1919
verovatno će početi da viče.
03:44
Whereas someone with high independent reactance is more likely
55
224387
3753
Dok će neko sa visokom nezavisnom reaktansom verovatno
03:48
to simply ignore the request and do what they believe is appropriate.
56
228140
4338
da prosto ignoriše zahtev i uradi ono što veruje da je prikladno.
03:53
So when it comes to relationship disapproval,
57
233271
2877
Tako da, kada se radi o neodobravanju veze,
03:56
a defiant person might respond by pursuing their romance in secret,
58
236148
4630
prkosna osoba možda odgovori nastavkom svoje romanse u tajnosti,
04:00
but that doesn’t change how the group’s opinion
59
240987
2377
ali to ne menja kako mišljenje grupe
04:03
negatively impacts their relationship.
60
243364
2502
negativno utiče na njihovu vezu.
04:06
Conversely, someone with a particularly independent personality might be capable
61
246993
5588
Obratno, neko sa naročito nezavisnom ličnošću možda bude sposoban
04:12
of ignoring their friends’ concerns and loving whomever they want.
62
252581
3963
da ignoriše zabrinutost prijatelja i da voli koga god želi.
04:18
The idea of defiant and independent reactance is fairly new,
63
258087
4504
Ideja o prkosnoj i nezavisnoj reaktansi je prilično nova
04:22
and researchers are still working to uncover all the motivations
64
262800
3295
i istraživači još uvek rade na tome da otkriju sve motivacije
04:26
behind the Social Network Effect.
65
266095
2336
koje stoje iza efekta društvene mreže.
04:28
But these theories help illuminate the important relationship
66
268848
3170
Međutim, ove teorije pomažu da se rasvetli bitna veza
04:32
between reactance and our competing needs for independence and inclusion.
67
272018
5130
između reaktanse i naših potreba za nezavisnošću i inkluzijom.
04:37
How we balance these desires varies across individuals and cultures.
68
277898
5005
Način na koji balansiramo ove želje zavisi i od pojedinaca i kultura.
04:43
But no matter how prone to reactance we may be,
69
283112
3420
Međutim, bez obzira na to koliko skloni reaktansi možemo biti,
04:46
our social networks are vital to our sense of identity and well-being.
70
286532
5130
naše društvene mreže su vitalne za naš osećaj identiteta i blagostanja.
04:52
This is especially true in our romantic relationships.
71
292580
3920
Ovo je posebno istinito za naše romantične veze.
04:56
Studies have found that support from a few close companions
72
296709
3962
Studije su pokazale da podrška nekoliko bliskih prijatelja
05:00
can help buffer against disapproval from others.
73
300671
3253
može pomoći da se ublaži neodobravanje od strane drugih.
05:04
And most relationships do better once the individuals involved
74
304091
3337
Većina veza se poboljša kada pojedinci uključeni u nju
05:07
find supportive social networks.
75
307428
2502
nađu društvene mreže koje ih podržavaju.
05:10
This outcome might not seem as romantic as a forbidden love affair,
76
310264
4171
Rezultat možda ne izgleda romantično koliko i zabranjena ljubavna afera,
05:14
but it’s actually in keeping with the story of Romeo and Juliet,
77
314685
4254
ali zapravo odgovara priči o Romeu i Juliji,
05:19
whose embattled relationship couldn't endure the threats of extreme disapproval.
78
319231
5923
čija sukobljena veza nije mogla da izdrži pretnje velikog neodobravanja.
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7