Abha Dawesar: Life in the "digital now"

譯者: Coco Shen 審譯者: Chingwen Kao

I was in New York during Hurricane Sandy,

颶風桑迪來的時候我正在紐約，

and this little white dog called Maui

和這個叫毛伊的小白狗

was staying with me.

住在一起。

Half the city was dark because of a power cut,

因為斷電，半個城市都是黑漆漆的。

and I was living on the dark side.

我就住在黑漆漆的這一邊。

Now, Maui was terrified of the dark,

當時，毛伊很怕黑，

so I had to carry him up the stairs,

我只好帶著牠上樓。

actually down the stairs first, for his walk,

其實是先下樓去遛狗，

and then bring him back up.

然後再把牠帶回來。

I was also hauling gallons of bottles of water

我每天還要拖著好幾加侖的瓶裝水

up to the seventh floor every day.

爬到七樓。

And through all of this,

這期間，

I had to hold a torch between my teeth.

我不得不咬著火炬當照明。

The stores nearby were out of flashlights

附近商店沒有手電筒、

and batteries and bread.

電池和麵包。

For a shower, I walked 40 blocks

為了洗個澡，我走了40個街區，

to a branch of my gym.

到我健身中心的另一個分店去。

But these were not the major preoccupations of my day.

但是這些都不是我那時候關心的主要問題。

It was just as critical for me to be the first person in

對我來說重要的是我要最早到達

at a cafe nearby with extension cords and chargers

附近的一家咖啡館，拿著我的延長線及充電器

to juice my multiple devices.

給我的幾個電子設備充電。

I started to prospect under the benches of bakeries

我開始尋找麵包店的長椅下

and the entrances of pastry shops for plug points.

和糕餅店出入口的那些插座。

I wasn't the only one.

我不是唯一這樣做的人。

Even in the rain, people stood between Madison and 5th Avenue

即使是雨天，人們打著雨傘站在麥迪森大街和第五大道之間

under their umbrellas charging their cell phones

好從路邊的商家那兒

from outlets on the street.

給他們的手機充電。

Nature had just reminded us

自然提醒了我們，

that it was stronger than all our technology,

它比我們所有的技術更加強大，

and yet here we were, obsessed about being wired.

但是我們仍然癡迷於這些需要電線的東西。

I think there's nothing like a crisis

我覺得沒有什麼比一場危機

to tell you what's really important and what's not,

更能讓你明白什麼重要而什麼不重要。

and Sandy made me realize that our devices

颶風桑迪讓我意識到我們的電子設備

and their connectivity matter to us

和它們的連線能力對我們來說，

right up there with food and shelter.

就跟我們的食物和住所一樣重要。

The self as we once knew it no longer exists,

我們瞭解的那部分自我已不存在，

and I think that an abstract, digital universe

我覺得，一個抽象的、 數位的宇宙

has become a part of our identity,

已經成了我們本身的一部分，

and I want to talk to you about what I think that means.

今天我就是想談談我是怎麼看待這件事的。

I'm a novelist, and I'm interested in the self

我是一位小說家，對認識自我（這樣的話題）很感興趣，

because the self and fiction have a lot in common.

因為自我和小說有很多共同點。

They're both stories, interpretations.

他們都是故事，都有解釋。

You and I can experience things without a story.

沒有故事，你和我也可以體驗不同的事情。

We might run up the stairs too quickly

我們可能爬樓梯爬得太快了，

and we might get breathless.

可能都喘不上氣來。

But the larger sense that we have of our lives,

我們對生活的感受越是強烈，

the slightly more abstract one, is indirect.

它就越是抽象的，不直接的。

Our story of our life is based on direct experience,

我們生活裡的故事都是建立在直接經驗上，

but it's embellished.

但那都是點綴。

A novel needs scene after scene to build,

小說需要一個場景接著一個場景來建構，

and the story of our life needs an arc as well.

我們的人生故事同樣需要一個弧線，

It needs months and years.

需要成年成月的故事積累。

Discrete moments from our lives are its chapters.

我們生命中那些聚散離合都自成章節，

But the story is not about these chapters.

但故事並不來自這些章節，

It's the whole book.

故事就是這整本書本身。

It's not only about the heartbreak and the happiness,

它不僅只關於傷心欲絕和喜氣洋洋，

the victories and the disappointments,

不僅只關於勝利和失望，

but it's because how because of these,

它闡述了因為這些事件，

and sometimes, more importantly, in spite of these,

有時更重要的是，即便沒有這些事件，

we find our place in the world

我們如何得以在這個世界上找到自己的位置，

and we change it and we change ourselves.

我們如何改變世界、改變我們自己。

Our story, therefore, needs two dimensions of time:

因此我們的故事需要有兩個時間軸：

a long arc of time that is our lifespan,

時間的長軸是我們的壽命，

and the timeframe of direct experience

而每個直接體驗的當下

that is the moment.

就是某個時刻。

Now the self that experiences directly

能直接體驗的那個自我，

can only exist in the moment,

只存在於某個特定的時刻，

but the one that narrates needs several moments,

但是人都需要一連串的片段

a whole sequence of them,

才能組合成一個故事。

and that's why our full sense of self

所以我們對自我的認識

needs both immersive experience

不僅需要大量的經歷，

and the flow of time.

還需要流動的時間軸。

Now, the flow of time is embedded in everything,

時光流逝的痕跡都鑲嵌在每一個事件裡，

in the erosion of a grain of sand,

鑲嵌在被侵蝕的沙粒裡，

in the budding of a little bud into a rose.

鑲嵌在萌萌欲綻的玫瑰花苞裡。

Without it, we would have no music.

沒有時光的流逝，我們就沒有音樂可聽。

Our own emotions and state of mind

我們的自我情感和意識狀態，

often encode time,

經常編寫在時光裡，

regret or nostalgia about the past,

無論是對過去的遺憾和留戀，

hope or dread about the future.

還是對未來的展望和恐懼。

I think that technology has altered that flow of time.

我想科技改變了通常意義上的時間流逝。

The overall time that we have for our narrative,

我們的故事及生命的長度

our lifespan, has been increasing,

不停在增加，

but the smallest measure, the moment, has shrunk.

但是可紀錄的最小片斷、最短時刻卻在減小。

It has shrunk because our instruments enable us

歸功於我們的電子設備，我們可以紀錄的

in part to measure smaller and smaller units of time,

時間單位越來越小，

and this in turn has given us a more granular understanding

因此，我們可以更加詳細地認識

of the material world,

這個物質世界，

and this granular understanding

如此詳細地認識

has generated reams of data

產生了大量的數據，

that our brains can no longer comprehend

以致於我們的大腦不再能夠全部理解，

and for which we need more and more complicated computers.

為此我們需要更多複雜的電腦。

All of this to say that the gap

這說明我們可以感知的事物

between what we can perceive and what we can measure

和我們可以紀錄的事物之間

is only going to widen.

的差距只會逐漸擴大。

Science can do things with and in a picosecond,

科學可以紀錄皮妙以內的事件，

but you and I are never going to have the inner experience

但你和我卻永遠不可能有

of a millionth of a millionth of a second.

一兆分之一秒的體驗。

You and I answer only to nature's rhythm and flow,

我和你只能對自然的節律和流動，

to the sun, the moon and the seasons,

對太陽、 月亮和季節變化做出回應。

and this is why we need that long arc of time

這就是為甚麼我們需要一個長的足以涵蓋

with the past, the present and the future

過去、 現在和未來的時間弧

to see things for what they are,

來理解事情的原由，

to separate signal from noise

來分辨噪音中的信號

and the self from sensations.

和感知中的自我。

We need time's arrow to understand cause and effect,

我們需要時間弧來理解因果關係，

not just in the material world,

不只是在物質的世界裡，

but in our own intentions and our motivations.

也在我們自己的意圖和動機裡。

What happens when that arrow goes awry?

當時間弧線的指針出現偏差時，會發生什麼呢？

What happens when time warps?

當時間扭曲時，會發生什麼呢？

So many of us today have the sensation

我們很多人現在都有這種的感覺，

that time's arrow is pointing everywhere

那就是時間軸在四處亂指，

and nowhere at once.

沒有哪次是一致的。

This is because time doesn't flow in the digital world

這是因為時間在數位世界裡的流動方式

in the same way that it does in the natural one.

和在自然界裡不一樣。

We all know that the Internet has shrunk space

我們都知道網路縮小了空間

as well as time.

與時間。

Far away over there is now here.

遠方發生的事情就像在這裡發生的。

News from India is a stream on my smartphone app

來自印度的新聞成了我智慧型手機app裡的一則消息，

whether I'm in New York or New Delhi.

無論我是身在紐約或新德里。

And that's not all.

不只這樣，

Your last job, your dinner reservations from last year,

你上一份工作、去年的晚餐訂位、

your former friends, lie on a flat plain with today's friends,

你以前的朋友，和你的新朋友一起躺在平原上，

because the Internet also archives,

這都是由於網路具存檔功能，

and it warps the past.

能扭曲過去。

With no distinction left between the past,

由於過去、現在和未來，

the present and the future, and the here or there,

這裡或那裡，已經沒有分別，

we are left with this moment everywhere,

而我們無時無刻都身處在這樣的時刻裡，

this moment that I'll call the digital now.

這樣的時刻我稱之為數位現在式。

Just how can we prioritize

問題是我們如何

in the landscape of the digital now?

對數位世界裡的事件進行先後排序呢？

This digital now is not the present,

數位世界裡的現在並不代表此時此刻，

because it's always a few seconds ahead,

而通常是發生在幾秒前，

with Twitter streams that are already trending

透過推特傳播的消息，

and news from other time zones.

和來自其他地區的新聞。

This isn't the now of a shooting pain in your foot

這已經不是你腳上中了槍傷的現在，

or the second that you bite into a pastry

也不是你在糕點上咬上一口的那一刻，

or the three hours that you lose yourself in a great book.

或者你在一本很棒的書裡沉浸的那三個小時。

This now bears very little physical

這個"現在"已經不足以為我們的自我狀態

or psychological reference to our own state.

提供任何身體性或心理性的佐證。

Its focus, instead, is to distract us

相反的，它在路上每一個轉彎處

at every turn on the road.

試圖分散我們的注意力。

Every digital landmark is an invitation

數位世界的每個路標都在

to leave what you are doing now to go somewhere else

邀請你離開正在專注的事情，去其他的地方

and do something else.

做其他的事情。

Are you reading an interview by an author?

你正在閱讀一個作家的專訪嘛？

Why not buy his book? Tweet it. Share it.

為什麼不買他的書？推它？分享它？

Like it. Find other books exactly like his.

喜歡它？搜尋同類型的其他書籍。

Find other people reading those books.

搜尋同在閱讀這本書的讀者。

Travel can be liberating,

旅行可以是非常自由的，

but when it is incessant, we become

但當它變得無休止時，我們也就成了

permanent exiles without repose.

沒有休息日的流亡者。

Choice is freedom, but not when it's constantly

選擇是自由的，但如果不斷地為了

for its own sake.

選擇而選擇，那就不是自由了。

Not just is the digital now far from the present,

數位現在式已不僅不是現在，

but it's in direct competition with it,

它還直接和真正的現在在競爭。

and this is because not just am I absent from it,

這是因為不僅我在真正的現在缺席，

but so are you.

你也是如此。

Not just are we absent from it, but so is everyone else.

不僅僅是我們缺席，其他人也是如此。

And therein lies its greatest convenience and horror.

所以，這裡存在著巨大的便利和隱憂。

I can order foreign language books in the middle of the night,

我可以在大半夜從網路上訂購外文書籍、

shop for Parisian macarons,

購買巴黎的馬卡龍、

and leave video messages that get picked up later.

給才剛接到的訊息做影音回覆。

At all times, I can operate

我總是可以

at a different rhythm and pace from you,

在踩著和你不同的節奏與步調時，

while I sustain the illusion

同時擁有著與你的時空

that I'm tapped into you in real time.

緊密相扣的幻覺。

Sandy was a reminder

桑迪颶風是一個提醒，

of how such an illusion can shatter.

提醒我們可以去粉碎這樣的幻覺。

There were those with power and water,

有些人有電有水，

and those without.

有些人卻沒有。

There are those who went back to their lives,

有些人的日常生活已經恢復，

and those who are still displaced

有些人即使已經過了好幾個月，

after so many months.

卻仍然流離失所。

For some reason, technology seems to perpetuate

出於某些原因，科技產品對於

the illusion for those who have it that everyone does,

那些一直擁有它的人來說幾乎成了一個永恆的幻覺，

and then, like an ironic slap in the face,

然後，就像一記打在臉上的諷刺耳光，

it makes it true.

這幻覺成真了。

For example, it's said that there are more people

舉例來說，有人說在印度，人們持有手機的比率

in India with access to cell phones than toilets.

比有廁所可上的比率還要來得高。

Now if this rift, which is already so great

若缺乏基礎建設與科技普及間

in many parts of the world,

存在著無法跨越的鴻溝，

between the lack of infrastructure and the spread of technology,

而這巨大鴻溝在世上許多地區

isn't somehow bridged,

都已普遍存在著，

there will be ruptures between the digital

那麼數位世界和真實世界

and the real.

將會有更多的裂隙。

For us as individuals who live in the digital now

生活在數位現在式裡的我們，

and spend most of our waking moments in it,

把大部分清醒的時間花在數位產品上，

the challenge is to live in two streams of time

我們面臨的挑戰是得在兩個平行

that are parallel and almost simultaneous.

且幾乎同步進行著的時間軸裡生活著。

How does one live inside distraction?

我們如何在這樣的煩亂中生活？

We might think that those younger than us,

我們也許會覺得，那些比我們年輕，

those who are born into this, will adapt more naturally.

生來就接觸這些電子產品的孩子，會更快地適應這樣的生活。

Possibly, but I remember my childhood.

也許吧。 但我記得我的童年，

I remember my grandfather revising

我記得我的祖父

the capitals of the world with me.

和我一起研究世界各地的首都。

Buda and Pest were separated by the Danube,

布達和佩斯被多瑙河分開，

and Vienna had a Spanish riding school.

維也納有西班牙騎術學校。

If I were a child today, I could easily learn this information

如果我是現在的孩子，我可以輕鬆地

with apps and hyperlinks,

通過app和超連結來學到這些資訊，

but it really wouldn't be the same,

但一定和我所學的不同，

because much later, I went to Vienna,

因為我長大後去過維也納，

and I went to the Spanish riding school,

我去看了西班牙騎術學校，

and I could feel my grandfather right beside me.

我能感覺到我的祖父就在我身邊。

Night after night, he took me up on the terrace,

夜復一夜，他把我帶到露臺上

on his shoulders, and pointed out Jupiter

我坐在他的肩上，他為我指出哪個是木星、

and Saturn and the Great Bear to me.

土星，還有大熊星座。

And even here, when I look at the Great Bear,

甚至在這裡，當我看著大熊星座，

I get back that feeling of being a child,

我能感覺自己回到了童年時，

hanging onto his head and trying to balance myself

騎在他的肩上盡量保持平衡

on his shoulder,

的樣子，

and I can get back that feeling of being a child again.

我仍能找回童年時的感受。

What I had with my grandfather was wrapped

和祖父待在一起時的種種感覺，

so often in information and knowledge and fact,

與那時學到的信息、知識和事實緊密連結，

but it was about so much more

但那些記憶包含的，

than information or knowledge or fact.

要比單純的信息、知識和事實要多得多。

Time-warping technology challenges

科技扭曲了時間的意涵，也挑戰著

our deepest core,

我們內心最深處的自我，

because we are able to archive the past

因為我們能夠將過去存檔，

and some of it becomes hard to forget,

使得有些事件變得難以忘懷，

even as the current moment

這甚至讓當下這個片刻，

is increasingly unmemorable.

逐漸變得毫不起眼。

We want to clutch, and we are left instead

我們想要留住每個時刻，

clutching at a series of static moments.

卻反而只抓住一系列靜止的時刻。

They're like soap bubbles that disappear when we touch them.

他們就像肥皂泡沫，一碰到就消失。

By archiving everything, we think that we can store it,

通過存檔，我們認為一切都可保存下來，

but time is not data.

但時間不是資料，

It cannot be stored.

它不能被存儲。

You and I know exactly what it means like

你和我都很清楚的了解

to be truly present in a moment.

如何真實的去感受當下。

It might have happened while we were

這可能發生在我們

playing an instrument,

演奏樂器時、

or looking into the eyes of someone we've known

或者一眼望進一個認識多年的人

for a very long time.

的眼眸裡時。

At such moments, our selves are complete.

在這些時刻裡，我們擁有了完整的自我。

The self that lives in the long narrative arc

在生命敘事長軸上的我

and the self that experiences the moment

與正在體驗當下的自我

become one.

合而為一。

The present encapsulates the past

"現在"壓縮了過去

and a promise for the future.

與對未來的承諾。

The present joins a flow of time

"現在"參與了時間的洪流，

from before and after.

串連起過去和未來。

I first experienced these feelings with my grandmother.

我第一次經歷這種感覺是在和祖母相處時。

I wanted to learn to skip, and she found an old rope

我想要學跳繩，於是她找來了一條舊繩子，

and she tucked up her sari

接著她捲起莎麗後

and she jumped over it.

就跳過了那繩子。

I wanted to learn to cook, and she kept me in the kitchen,

我想要學做飯，她把我留在廚房裡，

cutting, cubing and chopping for a whole month.

讓我又切又剁了整整一個月。

My grandmother taught me that things happen

祖母教導我事情的發生需要時間來消化，

in the time they take, that time can't be fought,

這段時間是必要的，

and because it will pass and it will move,

又因為這段時間會過去、會繼續向前進，

we owe the present moment our full attention.

所以我們應用心專注"現在"這個當下。

Attention is time.

專注就是時間。

One of my yoga instructors once said

我的一個瑜伽導師曾經說過：

that love is attention,

愛就是專注，

and definitely from my grandmother,

而對我祖母來說，

love and attention were one and the same thing.

愛和專注絕對是同一個東西。

The digital world cannibalizes time,

數位世界正吞噬著時間，

and in doing so, I want to suggest

因此，我要提醒大家

that what it threatens

它威脅到的

is the completeness of ourselves.

是我們自我的完整性。

It threatens the flow of love.

它威脅到了愛的交流。

But we don't need to let it.

但我們可以避免這樣的情況發生。

We can choose otherwise.

我們可以選擇其它的辦法。

We've seen again and again

我們已反覆見識到

just how creative technology can be,

科技的創造力是如何體現在

and in our lives and in our actions,

我們的生活和我們的行動裡，

we can choose those solutions and those innovations

我們可以從中選出能還原時間流的

and those moments that restore the flow of time

解決方案、嶄新技術與吉光片羽，

instead of fragmenting it.

而不是讓時間分裂。

We can slow down and we can tune in

我們可以放慢腳步並調整自我

to the ebb and flow of time.

以配合時間流的潮起潮落。

We can choose to take time back.

我們可以選擇把時間找回來。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）