Intimate photos of a senior love triangle | Isadora Kosofsky

74,096 views ・ 2018-10-19

TED


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譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Bella Chen
00:12
Jeanie, Will and Adina are three senior citizens
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吉妮、威爾,和艾迪娜 是三位年長者,
00:16
connected by a special relationship.
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他們以一種特殊的方式聯繫在一起,
00:19
They view their bond as a shield from the loneliness of aging.
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他們將彼此間的連結視為防護盾, 用來對抗老化的孤獨。
00:24
I first met them at a retirement home in Los Angeles,
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我初次見到他們的地方 是洛杉磯的一間養老院,
00:27
where I had been photographing for three years.
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我已經在那裡做了三年的攝影。
00:30
I saw as they approached the gate one night,
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有一天晚上,我看見他們靠近大門,
00:33
and felt an immediate connection to them.
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我馬上就感覺到 我和他們之間有某種聯繫。
00:36
Although I didn't know the details of their love triangle,
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雖然我不知道他們三角愛情的細節,
00:40
I intuitively felt that I had to find out who they were.
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我的直覺告訴我, 我得查出他們是什麼人。
00:45
Questioning a nurse a day later, she said to me,
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那天過後,我問了 一位護士,她告訴我:
00:49
"Oh, you're talking about the threesome."
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「喔,你說的是那三人組。」
00:52
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
00:53
I was intrigued.
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我很好奇。
00:54
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
00:57
The trio set out on a daily adventure to coffee and doughnut shops,
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這三個人開始一日探險, 去了咖啡廳、甜甜圈店、
01:01
bus stops and street corners.
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公車站,以及街角。
01:04
I soon learned that the purpose of these outings was solace
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我很快就了解,這些旅行的目的
是安慰以及尋找意義。
01:08
and a search for meaning.
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01:10
The trio sought to combat their alienation
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這三人將他們自己 融入到公眾的街道中,
01:13
by literally integrating themselves in public streets.
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以尋求對抗他們的被疏離感。
01:17
Yet, even when arm in arm, no one saw them.
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但,即使是臂挽著臂, 也沒有人看見他們。
01:22
We often think that as we age, we lose the desires held in our youth.
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我們通常會認為,當我們變老, 我們會失去年輕時的慾望。
01:28
Actually, as a teenage photojournalist when I met the trio,
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其實,身為十幾歲的攝影記者, 當我見到三人組時,
01:32
I saw their behavior as a mirror
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我把他們的行為視為一面鏡子,
01:34
to the fears of exclusion and desires for intimacy
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反射出對被排斥的恐懼 及想要親密感的渴望,
01:38
that I also carried.
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這些感覺我也有。
01:41
I related to their invisibility,
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我能同理他們被忽視的感受,
01:43
which pained me during my childhood
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在我童年時,這種感受讓我很痛苦,
01:46
but has become my greatest asset as an immersive documentarian,
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但這也成為我身為沉浸式 記錄工作者珍貴的資產,
01:51
because I can just fade into my empathy.
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因為我可以就這樣 消失在我的同理心當中。
01:55
As we walked down the streets of Hollywood,
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當我們在好萊塢的街道上走著,
01:57
in a neighborhood of screenwriters, actors and filmmakers,
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住這一帶的都是 編劇、演員和製片人,
三人組所承受的漠視, 是每位年長者都在承受的。
02:01
the trio assumed the invisibility that each senior does.
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02:05
I would ask myself,
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我會問我自己:
02:07
"How is it that no one else sees these three human beings?
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「為什麼沒有其他人 看見這三個人?
02:12
Why is it that I am the only one who sees them?"
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為什麼只有我看見他們?」
02:16
Years later, as I began to share this work with the public,
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多年後,當我開始公開 分享這件作品時,
02:20
I noticed that people are largely uncomfortable with this story.
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我注意到大部分人對於 這個故事都會感到不舒服。
02:24
Perhaps it is because the trio doesn't assume conventional notions
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可能是因為這三人組並不符合
世俗對於愛、浪漫, 或伴侶關係的傳統觀念。
02:29
associated with love, romance or partnership.
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02:33
They were unseen in public and shunned by their peers.
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在公眾場合,他們被無視, 在同儕之中,他們被迴避。
02:37
They wanted to belong somewhere
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他們想要有所歸屬,
02:40
but only seemed to belong with each other.
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但他們似乎只歸屬於彼此。
02:43
I wanted to belong somewhere, too.
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我也想要有所歸屬。
02:45
And my camera has been a catalyst for me to belong everywhere.
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我的照相機一直是我的催化劑, 讓我能歸屬於每個地方。
02:50
But beyond challenging sociocultural norms about the elderly,
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但在挑戰傳統社會 所定義的老年人背後,
02:54
the trio sheds light on fear of remoteness.
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這三人組闡釋了對於疏離的恐懼。
02:58
At the end of each day, they return to their respective retirement homes.
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在每天的約會結束後, 他們會回到各自的養老院。
03:03
Under the surface of their aloneness,
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在他們孤獨的表面底下,
03:06
there is a desire for community, for their people.
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有一種渴望,那是對社區、 對專屬於他們的人的渴望;
03:11
There was a sense that they were each yearning for their tribe,
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也有一種感覺,彷彿他們 都嚮往屬於自己的部落,
03:15
but that comfort comes with compromise,
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但那安慰卻來自妥協,
03:18
because Will cannot commit to one woman.
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因為威爾無法只對 一個女人做出承諾。
03:22
Sitting with Jeanie one day in her apartment, she said to me,
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有一天,我和吉妮 坐在她的公寓裡,她對我說:
03:26
"Sharing Will is a thorn in your side.
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「分享威爾對你來說是惱人的事。
03:29
A relationship between a man and a woman is private.
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一個男人和一個女人 之間的關係是私事。
03:33
It is a couple, not a trio."
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是一對,而不是三人組。」
03:37
My process is to essentially become the people I document
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我的工作,是要在本質上 成為我所記錄的人,
03:41
by spending years with them as an observer-occupant,
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我要以觀察者—居住者的身分, 花數年的時間和他們相處,
03:45
to create a safe space, to then become hidden in plain sight.
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來創造出安全的空間, 然後從顯眼的地方隱身消失。
03:50
I was about 17 when I met the trio,
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遇到三人組時,我十七歲,
03:52
and I shadowed them for four years.
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我如影隨形跟了他們四年。
03:55
We actually see, in the breakdown of social development,
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在分析社會發展時, 我們其實可以發現,
03:58
that adolescence and old age look strikingly alike,
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青少年和老年人看起來非常像,
04:03
because both are periods of identity confusion.
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因為兩者都處於 對身分感到困惑的時期。
04:07
I identified with the women.
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我認同這兩位女人。
04:10
But also with Will, who made me aware of the divide in me.
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但也認同威爾,他讓我 意識到我內在的分歧。
04:15
The schism that we each often have
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我們每個人通常都會有分裂,
04:18
about what we crave and the actuality of our situation.
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在我們的渴望和我們的 實際情況之間有著分裂。
04:23
Before shooting this series,
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在拍攝這個系列之前,
04:25
I was also in love with two different people who knew about each other,
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我也愛上了兩個不同的人, 他們兩個認識彼此,
04:29
being the object over which they fought.
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我是他們兩個爭奪的目標。
04:32
But I also knew what it was like to be at the base of the triangle,
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但我也知道在三角形的 底部是什麼樣子,
04:36
like Jeanie or Adina,
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就像吉妮或艾迪娜,
04:38
asking myself,
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我問我自己:
04:39
"Why aren't I enough?"
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「有我不夠嗎?」
04:43
I would look through my viewfinder and see three elderly figures,
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透過我的取景器, 我看見三個年邁的身影,
04:47
and it became impossible to deny that regardless of age,
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我無法否認,不論年齡,
04:51
we were each in pursuit of filling the proverbial hole through other people.
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我們每個人都在追求透過其他人 來填滿俗話所說「洞」。
04:58
Perhaps the discomfort of looking at Jeanie, Will and Adina's story
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也許,看著吉妮、威爾, 和艾迪娜的故事所產生的不舒服,
05:02
is truly a reminder that even at the end of life,
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正是在提醒我們, 即使人生走到最後,
05:07
we may never reach the fantasy we have envisioned for ourselves.
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我們可能也永遠無法達到 我們為自己所想像的夢幻。
05:13
Thank you for listening.
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謝謝聆聽。
05:14
(Applause)
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(掌聲)
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