An intergalactic guide to using a defibrillator | Todd Scott

翻译人员: Hancheng Li 校对人员: Yaqi Huang

Last year, I got a chance to watch the new "Star Wars" movie,

去年我有一次去看了 全新的《星球大战》电影，

这部电影很棒，

which was fantastic,

but one thing kept bugging me.

但是有件事一直让我很困惑。

我不知道你们有没有注意到。

I don't know if you noticed this or not.

在那个技术极其先进的世界，

In this entirely technically advanced world,

I did not see a single AED anywhere,

我竟然找不到一台AED，

which was totally shocking --

这让我非常震惊——

almost as shocking as not knowing what an AED is,

差不多和一个人不知道 AED到底是什么同样震惊，

which you guys do know.

我相信你们都知道的。

But for those at home,

但对于那些不知道的人，

an AED is an automated external defibrillator.

AED是自动体外心脏除颤器。

It's the device you use when your heart goes into cardiac arrest

你在心脏骤停时就会用这台仪器，

to shock it back into a normal rhythm,

去电击心脏使其恢复正常起搏，

or, as one of the guys I was teaching a class to referred to it as:

或者，用我其中一个学生的话说就是：

"The shocky-hearty-box thing."

“那个电电心脏的盒子啥的。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But I really can't blame the Empire,

但我真的没法怪罪银河帝国，

since health and safety regulations

因为健康和安全规章

aren't really their first order of business.

也不是他们最重要的事情。

Though, even if we --

虽然，如果我们……

I think worse than not having an AED would be if there was one there,

我觉得比没有AED更糟糕的是， 的确有一台AED，

but just, no one knew where to find it.

却没有人知道它放在哪里。

这些设备可以极大提升 人们存活的几率，

These devices can drastically increase your chance of survival --

almost like a tauntaun on Hoth.

就好像咚咚兽对于霍斯星人一样。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But I'm pretty sure that stormtrooper is going to be toast,

但我十分确信 帝国冲锋队会死得很惨，

regardless if we have an AED or not,

无论我们手头是否有AED，

since what happens is the chest plate is going to be quite hard to get off,

因为他们的胸甲太难取下来了，

and like that tauntaun,

而就像咚咚兽一样，

the AED has a very short window of time at which it's highly effective.

AED最高效的工作时间范围非常窄。

In this case -- basically, we've got to use it within the first 10 minutes.

对于这种情况，我们必须在 心脏骤停10分钟内使用。

The Jedi, on the other hand, have no problems with their outfits.

而绝地武士又不同， 他们的着装完全不会影响。

Those robes open straight up,

那些袍子直接就打开了，

you can place the pads right onto the chest --

你可以把电极板直接摁到胸口上，

so upper-right-hand side of the chest,

分别放在胸口右上侧，

lower left,

还有左下侧，

等到AED自动判定 心律是否适合电击，

wait for the unit to determine if it's a shockable rhythm

and get ready to shock.

然后就自己放电了。

But, the Jedi do have a problem.

但是绝地武士的确有个问题，

They have a head appendage issue.

就是他们头上长着的触角。

And so I can be totally clear, thinking I'm ready to go,

假如我都准备好给他电击了，

but I'm accidentally touching a tentacle

但自己不小心碰到了他的触角，

and inadvertently shocking myself.

结果很不幸地把我自己电死了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So before you hit that button, make sure you are clear

所以在你按下电击按钮前， 务必保证自己安全，

and everyone else is clear.

其他人也安全。

Going back to that stormtrooper:

回到帝国冲锋队的话题，

If I did get that chest plate off in time,

假如我把胸甲及时取下来了，

what would you do if you suddenly found there was a Wookiee under there,

假如你突然发现是个伍基人， 你会怎么办？

或者是两个伊沃克人？

or possibly two Ewoks?

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Well, lucky for us,

那么很幸运的是，

in the kit there's actually a razor,

AED套件里有剃须刀，

and we can use that to shave the chest on the upper right-hand side

能够把胸口右上方的毛发剃掉，

左下方也一样。

and the lower left.

Wookiees also have another problem.

伍基人还有一个问题，

They have an accessory issue.

他们身上会佩戴其他东西。

What we want to do is remove these --

我们一定要把这些摘掉，

anything between the two pads we want to remove,

任何挡在两个电极板间的东西 都要取下来，

since it can cause something called "arcing."

因为它可以造成一种叫 “电弧放电”的现象。

对于那些不知道电弧放电的人，

For those who don't know what arcing is,

do you remember the Emperor,

你们大概记得西斯皇帝

可以从手指尖放电……

when he shoots electricity out the ends of his fingers --

（笑声）

那大概跟电弧放电差不多了。

(Laughter)

that would be kind of like arcing.

Another thing that --

另外一件事……

哦！顺便提一句， 他能这么做是因为穿了羊毛袜子。

Oh! By the way, he creates that by wearing wool socks under his robes.

（笑声）

(Laughter)

We can also get arcing if we have an extremely wet chest.

如果胸口太潮湿的话 也会引起电弧放电。

The electricity travels across the surface instead of through the heart.

电流通过皮肤表面传导 而非经过心脏。

We can correct this with the immortal words of Douglas Adams:

我们可以引用道格拉斯·亚当斯的 不朽名言予以修正：

"Don't panic," which most of us have done today --

“不要恐慌。” 我相信大家都会照做的……

and also always having a towel.

然后赶紧去找一条毛巾。

这些都是警世良言啊。

So, good words to go by.

不幸的是……这个金属的比基尼， 却让我们感到很恐慌，

The metal bikini -- unfortunately, this is where panic sets in --

like the modern bra,

就像现代的胸罩一样，

we have to make sure we remove,

我们一定要把它取下来，

because this can cause severe arcing along with burns.

因为它会造成强烈的电弧 还有灼伤现象。

But unfortunately this opens up an issue

但是这又引来一个棘手的问题，

that's almost as controversial as talking about the prequels.

几乎跟讨论星战前传一样棘手。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

The mere mention of the word "nipples,"

只需提到“乳头”这一个词，

and people get into a little bit of a tizzy.

大家就开始感到很紧张。

By the way, that is not a nipple, that's a cupcake.

顺带提一下，这不是乳头， 这只是个纸杯蛋糕。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Chances are, if you do have to use this,

比较现实的情况是， 假如你要用AED，

也应该是用在你认识的人身上。

this is going to be on someone you know.

一定记得，每个人都有乳头，

And remember, everyone has nipples,

except for Jabba.

除了贾巴。

（笑声）

(Laughter)

But he does love cupcakes.

但是他却很喜欢纸杯蛋糕。

Speaking about Jabba,

提到贾巴，

if we do have to use an AED on him,

如果我们要对他用AED，

remember pad placement is the same,

放置电极板的位置是一样的，

even though he doesn't have nipples.

即使他的确没有乳头。

So it's going to be upper right-hand side, lower left.

所以是胸口右上方、左下方。

If we were going through, we're shocking, getting ready to go --

之后我们准备好了， 我们可以开始电击了……

在电击完了之后，

after we've done the shock,

one of the things we need to do is remember to do compression.

我们记得要做的一件事是心脏按压。

The preferred method is 30 compressions and two breaths

最好的方式是按压30次， 之后人工呼吸2次，

in the center of the chest, between the nipples,

位置在胸口中心，乳头之间，

pressing down at least two inches,

向下按压至少5厘米，

no more than two and a half,

不要超过6.5厘米左右，

at a rate of at least 100 beats a minute,

频率至少每分钟100次，

no more than 120.

不要超过120次。

Unfortunately, due to the size of Jabba's mouth

但又有个问题， 鉴于贾巴的嘴尺寸太大，

and also what he puts in said mouth,

而且他在嘴里塞的各种东西，

we may not want to actually do the mouth-to-mouth part.

我们可能不太想做嘴对嘴呼吸那部分。

So instead, we can do compression-only CPR.

那么我们就可以做 只有心脏按压的复苏。

The way of remembering the compression-only part

大家要记得这种只用按压的步骤，

is we can actually use the Imperial March.

因为我们可以直接用帝国进行曲。

I would sing it for you --

我可以唱给你们听……

(Laughter)

（笑声）

但可惜的是，这种事情 还是交给审讯机器人去做吧。

Unfortunately, that would be more something an interrogation droid would do.

Yoda.

聊聊尤达。

Small little guy, like a baby.

这个小个子，跟小孩儿一样。

What we do is basically treat him like a baby,

我们某种程度把他当成一个小孩儿，

in the sense that we're going to place one pad in the center of the chest

其实意味着我们把一个电极板 放在他胸口中心，

and one in the back.

另一个放在背后。

假如我们把它们都放在胸前，

If we place them both in the front,

they can be too close and cause severe arcing,

它们因为靠的太近， 会引发强烈的电弧，

so we want to avoid that.

所以我们要尽量避免。

Hopefully, this helped to clarify

希望我的讲解能够

帮助大家理解在星战世界中 如何使用AED，

and put some light on some of the darker issues

of using an AED in the Star Wars universe,

解决了一些比较禁忌的问题，

or any universe in total.

在其它世界也一样。

I'll leave you with one point.

我最后给大家一个忠告。

Remember, if you do find yourself dealing with a Wookiee,

务必记得，如果你真的要给 伍基人做心肺复苏，

do not shave the entire Wookiee.

千万别把他全身的毛都剃了。

这实在太耗时间，

This takes way too much time,

and it only pisses them off.

而且他们也会相当不爽的。

（笑声）

(Laughter)

非常感谢。

Thank you very much.

(Applause)

（掌声）