The perks of being a pirate | Tom Nash

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Krystian Aparta

翻译人员: Saanman Fong 校对人员: Wanting Zhong

Often when I'm out in public,

当我在公共场所的时候，

a child will stare at me.

总会有个小孩盯着我。

And if the child is particularly brave, they'll approach me and ask:

如果这个小孩比较勇敢， 他会走过来问我：

"Are you a pirate?"

“你是海盗吗？”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

To which I then need to respond,

而我就得再一次回答，

once again,

"Yes."

“没错。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I mean, let's be honest:

我是说，大家都知道的：

I've got two hooks, prosthetic legs and a penchant for hard liquor.

我手装俩钩子， 双腿义肢，还嗜好烈酒。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

All I need is an eye-patch and a parrot, and I'm basically there.

再加一个眼罩 和一只鹦鹉就齐活了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But I like being a pirate.

不过我喜欢当海盗。

I find many advantages to having a disability,

我发觉残疾也能有许多好处，

and I'm not just talking about the money I save on gloves ...

我指的不仅是可以 省下买手套的钱……

(Laughter)

（笑声）

or the fantastically legitimate excuse for never having to master chopsticks.

或是有不用学用筷子的 极其合理的借口。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I'm talking about real advantages I feel I've gained,

我指的是在经受了 身体上的患难后，

having gone through physical adversity.

我觉得我真正得到的好处。

When I was 19, I contracted a disease

在我 19 岁时， 我染上了一种病，

that resulted in the loss of both my arms at the elbows,

使我失去了手肘以下的双臂，

both my legs below the knee,

膝盖以下的双腿，

and left enough scars on my face to elicit jealousy in Freddy Krueger.

在我脸上留下的伤疤之多， 可以让杀手弗莱迪都嫉妒三分。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Now, I may never be able to communicate in sign language,

我也许永远也不能 用手语交流了，

but my increased resilience and general ability to problem-solve

但我的适应力和解决问题的 能力已经得到大幅提高，

has been heightened by being forced to think laterally

因为我被迫横向思考，

to overcome problems that most people aren't faced with.

来克服大多数人 都不会遇到的问题。

One of the first lessons that I learned

我最早学会的一课

immediately followed the painful and arduous task

伴随着重新学走路这项

of learning how to walk again,

痛苦而艰巨的任务，

but it went on to pay dividends for the rest of my life.

不过我的余生都从中受益。

It happened when I attempted to step up a curb.

那是在我尝试踏上 马路牙子的时候。

Now as rudimentary as this action sounds to most of you,

虽说对于你们中大多数人来说， 这动作听起来很基础，

stepping up a curb is somewhat of a challenge

但对于我们这些 脚踝没法动的人来说，

for those of us without ankle movement.

踏上马路牙子算是一种挑战。

So I tried stepping up the curb

于是我试图用我熟知的办法，

the way I'd always known how, front on,

从正面踩上马路牙子，

for days on end,

可连续多日的尝试

with no success,

都以失败告终，

until it became obvious that the time and effort

直到能明显察觉，

I was investing into this endeavor was clearly disproportionate

我投入的时间与努力

to the benefit of its outcome.

和它带来的好处 根本不成正比。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So, I decided to inspect the problem from a different angle.

所以我决定从另外的角度 来审视这个问题。

If I couldn't use an ankle joint

如果我没法用踝关节

to achieve the range of motion that I required to mount the curb,

做出足够幅度的动作 来登上马路牙子，

I would have to use a different joint,

我就得用别的的关节，

like my hip.

比如我的髋关节。

So I turned my body perpendicular to the curb

于是我把身体扭成与路边垂直，

and placed my foot up sideways,

把我的一只脚侧着放上去，

and I was able to step up immediately.

然后我一下子就能踏上去了。

Within five minutes,

五分钟之内，

no staircase was safe from my advances.

没有楼梯能逃过我前进的步伐。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

That very day, I climbed a staircase of three flights,

就在那一天， 我一口气爬上了三层楼梯，

which I was quite impressed with as well,

连我自己都震惊了，

except I realized that I didn't know how to get back down again.

然后我发现， 我不知道该怎么下楼梯。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

That was a long weekend.

那可真是个漫长的周末。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Now, in my past life as an able-bodied person,

在我过去身体还健全时，

I'd been a guitarist.

我曾是个吉他手。

I was alright as a player,

我弹得还算可以，

but I'd never really taken it further.

不过从没有要更上一层楼。

I'd never really started a band or played live all that much.

我从没组建过乐队， 或是频繁现场演出。

Nonetheless, music was a great passion of mine,

但无论如何， 音乐是我的一大挚爱，

and when I lost my arms,

当我失去双臂的时候，

the idea that it may no longer be a part of my life

想到音乐可能从此与我无缘，

critically challenged my will to keep living.

我的求生意志 便受到了致命打击。

However, the thought that emerged

但是，在出院之后，

immediately after being discharged from hospital was:

我立刻想到的是：

"If Ray Charles can play the piano while blind as a bat,

“如果雷 · 查尔斯（Ray Charles） 眼盲得像只蝙蝠也可以弹钢琴，

let's get to work on a solution for this guitar problem."

我也可以为这个吉他难题想想办法。”

So, consulting with an engineer,

于是，咨询了一位工程师后，

I designed a slide system that would hook into my left hook,

我设计了一个滑音管装置， 钩在我的左手钩子上，

and I devised another pick-holder system that would clip into my right hook.

然后我又设计了一个拨片 固定装置，夹在我右手钩子上。

Now, if this worked,

如果这样行得通， 我就可以把吉他平放在腿上，

I would be able to play the guitar open tuned on my lap, like a slide.

用开放定弦弹奏， 像幻灯片吉他那样。

So after weeks of testing and alterations,

经过数周的调试和修改之后，

I finally had the accessories back to play the guitar again,

我终于有装备 可以重新弹吉他了，

and I was right back where I was before losing my hands --

然后我立刻回到了 我失去双手前的状态——

being issued with noise complaints from my neighbors, obviously.

那自然是被邻居投诉噪音太大。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But this time, I took it further.

不过这次，我又更进一步，

I started a band with my friends.

和朋友们组建了一支乐队。

We wrote songs and recorded them.

我们自己写歌、录音，

We even played gigs to real people.

甚至还给真人观众们演出。

Not as many as this.

没像现在那么多人啦。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But even though it was a just a tiny step,

尽管这只是一小步，

it was a giant leap from what I'd achieved when I was all in one piece.

但和我还完好无缺时的成就相比， 这已经是一次巨大的飞跃。

Now while relearning every action that one has ever cultivated

的确，重学每一个 曾经习得的动作

might seem like a significant undertaking --

听起来像是件 任重而道远的事情——

and believe me, it very much was, in the short term --

而且相信我，在短期来说， 它的确如此——

it was nonetheless having a positive effect

它依然积极地影响了

on the way that I approached everything else in my life.

我处理人生中所有 其他事情的方式。

Not only did it transform my ability to problem-solve,

它不仅仅转变了 我解决困难的能力，

but I also felt I became more pragmatic,

它还让我变得更加务实，

less sensitive to hindrances,

对挫折没那么敏感，

in some cases, more patient,

在某些情况下，更有耐心，

and magically transformed people's abilities

还能很神奇地让人们

to offer me their seats on public transport.

在公共交通工具上给我让座。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Trivial setbacks began to pale in comparison

琐碎的小挫折 跟我之前克服的困难

to challenges I'd previously overcome,

相比就相形见绌了，

and this allowed me to take a calm and measured approach to these challenges,

而这让我可以冷静谨慎 地面对这些挑战，

keeping them in perspective

保持客观务实，

and often even finding new and improved ways to overcome them.

还经常能发现更好的新办法 来克服困难。

The benefit of not dwelling on the negative

不拘泥于负能量，

and just getting on with the task at hand

只管完成手头上的任务，

became self-evident.

这样做的好处不言而喻。

It even encouraged me to pursue some more fulfilling career paths

它甚至鼓舞我去追寻 曾经显得并不可取，

that may otherwise have been inadvisable.

却让我感到更加充实的事业道路。

And who would have thought that an appropriate job for me

而谁能想到，适合我的工作

might involve the meticulous operation of electronic equipment

竟会涉及对电子设备的精密操作，

to curate dance music to people in inaccessible places

在难以企及的地方给一群喝醉的人们

under the influence of alcohol.

播放电音舞曲。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Not I.

我可没想到。

So in a competitive industry where DJs have been relentlessly honing their craft,

在这个竞争激烈行业中， DJ 们不断磨炼他们的技艺，

desperate to attain gigs, sending demos to clubs,

拼了命地接活出演， 给夜店发歌曲小样，

my best friend and I took a different approach,

而我和我的至交好友 选择了另一种方式，

and we started our own club night,

我们自己开了家夜店，

and we employed ourselves as the DJs.

然后聘用我们自己当 DJ。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Suddenly, we had a headline slot.

一夜之间， 我们就成了舞台上的焦点。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Now, when we started that club night, I could not DJ.

我们刚开始举办夜店活动的时候， 我甚至还不会打碟。

The first time I ever got behind the decks was on our opening night,

我人生第一次用打碟机 是在我们开业的那晚，

in front of hundreds of people.

面对数百个人。

I'd only just learned where the play button was.

我才刚搞清楚播放键在哪儿。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But, being previously faced with so many ultimatums,

不过，一个人先前面临了 如此多最后通牒的情况，

one's forced to be astute in adapting to new situations.

他已经被迫在适应 新状况时灵活变通。

That club night went on to become

我们的夜店演出之后成为了

the longest-running weekly club night in Sydney,

悉尼最经久不衰 的每周夜店演出，

and we as DJs went on to play Australia's biggest music festivals.

而我们之后也作为 DJ 在 澳洲最大的音乐节上出演。

So eventually, I either learned quickly,

所以最后， 要么是我学习得很快，

or the standards of clubs have gone really downhill.

要么是夜店标准 已经一落千丈了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Coming close to death can be an educational experience.

濒临死亡可以是一次 很有教育意义的体验。

It's certainly true that one's priorities receive somewhat of a realignment

可以肯定的是， 在这之后一般人

immediately afterwards.

多少都会重新安排 自己的优先事项。

And it's also true that some of those priorities

同样可以肯定的是， 其中一些优先事项

are met with an increased sense of urgency.

会因为更加强烈的 紧迫感而被完成。

But another, more salient realization that comes to light

不过另一个更加突出的感悟是，

is the triviality of our own self-importance and self-consciousness.

自己的虚荣心和不安感 是多么不值一提。

To truly understand the extent to which your self-consciousness

当真正明白了过剩的自我意识

prohibits you from engaging in opportunities

有多么阻碍你去抓住机遇，

should lead everyone to take risks they otherwise wouldn't.

这应该会让所有人 冒他们本不会去冒的险。

We're merely a blip on the time line of the universe, right?

我们只不过是浩瀚宇宙 时间线上的一瞬而已，对吧？

Act accordingly.

抓紧时间去行动。

Now the ideas that I'm presenting today were imbued upon me

今天我讲述的理念确实是

through some otherwise unfortunate circumstances, granted,

通过一些不幸的境况 灌输给我的，

but they're lying dormant in the lives of anyone who's willing to exploit them.

不过这些理念沉睡在每一个 愿意去发掘它们的人的心中。

If we all understand that we all have unique weaknesses,

如果我们都理解 我们都有独特的缺陷，

and if we're honest about what they are,

并且如果我们 坦诚面对这些缺陷，

we can learn how to best take advantage of them,

我们就可以学会 如何充分利用它们，

whether they be mounting a curb or fear of presenting sales reports

无论是难以踏上马路牙子， 还是畏惧介绍销售报告，

or the inability to sufficiently manage one's finances --

抑或是无法好好管理 自己的财务状况——

looking at that guy --

看看那家伙——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

there lies the ability to learn, to adapt,

利用好缺陷可以获得 学习和适应的能力，

and even the ability to rewire one's instinctual response to challenges.

甚至还有能力重塑一个人 对待挑战的本能反应。

Adversity is good,

遇到困境是件好事，

and it has the potential to make you stronger.

它有潜力让你变得更强。

And, at the very least,

而且，如果你看起来像个海盗，

you can scare the hell out of kids if you look like a pirate.

最起码你可以把小孩子 吓得屁滚尿流。

Thanks.

谢谢。

(Applause and cheers)

（掌声和欢呼）