The perks of being a pirate | Tom Nash

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Krystian Aparta

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: H_L Au

Often when I'm out in public,

通常，當我出現在公共場所，

a child will stare at me.

孩子會盯著我。

And if the child is particularly brave, they'll approach me and ask:

特別勇敢的孩子會走向我，問：

"Are you a pirate?"

「你是海盜嗎？」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

To which I then need to respond,

我就必須要再一次，回答：

once again,

"Yes."

「是的。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I mean, let's be honest:

老實說吧：我有兩個勾子，

I've got two hooks, prosthetic legs and a penchant for hard liquor.

兩腳都是義肢，我還喜歡喝烈酒。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

All I need is an eye-patch and a parrot, and I'm basically there.

再加一個眼罩和一隻 鸚鵡就差不多了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But I like being a pirate.

但我喜歡當海盜。

I find many advantages to having a disability,

我發現殘障有許多好處，

and I'm not just talking about the money I save on gloves ...

我指的不只是可以 省下買手套的錢……

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

or the fantastically legitimate excuse for never having to master chopsticks.

或是有非常合理的藉口 可以永遠不用熟練使用筷子。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I'm talking about real advantages I feel I've gained,

我指的是，經過了 身體的災禍之後，

having gone through physical adversity.

我覺得我真正得到的好處。

When I was 19, I contracted a disease

我十九歲時，染上一種疾病，

that resulted in the loss of both my arms at the elbows,

讓我失去手肘以下的雙手、

both my legs below the knee,

膝蓋以下的雙腳，

and left enough scars on my face to elicit jealousy in Freddy Krueger.

臉上還留下夠多傷疤， 讓殺手弗萊迪都會嫉妒。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now, I may never be able to communicate in sign language,

我可能永遠無法用手語溝通，

but my increased resilience and general ability to problem-solve

但我的恢復力和解決問題的 一般能力都變得越來越好，

has been heightened by being forced to think laterally

因為被迫要橫向思考

to overcome problems that most people aren't faced with.

來克服大部分人不用面對的問題。

One of the first lessons that I learned

我最早學到的其中一課，

immediately followed the painful and arduous task

是在我必須要再次學習如何走路

這痛苦又艱鉅的任務之後學到的，

of learning how to walk again,

but it went on to pay dividends for the rest of my life.

但我之後的人生卻一直繼續受益。

It happened when I attempted to step up a curb.

事情發生時，我打算 要踏上人行道路緣。

Now as rudimentary as this action sounds to most of you,

大部分人可能覺得 這個動作聽起來很基本，

stepping up a curb is somewhat of a challenge

但對我們這些沒有可動腳踝的人 來說，踏上路緣卻是種挑戰。

for those of us without ankle movement.

So I tried stepping up the curb

所以，我試圖踏上路緣時

the way I'd always known how, front on,

用我熟知的方法， 正面向前踩上去，

for days on end,

連續數日，

with no success,

都沒有成功，

until it became obvious that the time and effort

直到非常明顯我在這個動作上 投入的時間和努力很顯然

I was investing into this endeavor was clearly disproportionate

和我得到的結果好處不成比例。

to the benefit of its outcome.

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So, I decided to inspect the problem from a different angle.

所以我決定從不同的角度 來探究這個問題。

If I couldn't use an ankle joint

如果我不能用踝關節

to achieve the range of motion that I required to mount the curb,

來達成踏上路緣 所需要的動作範圍，

I would have to use a different joint,

我就得用不同的關節，

like my hip.

比如髖部。

So I turned my body perpendicular to the curb

所以，我把我的身體 轉成和路緣成直角，

and placed my foot up sideways,

把我的腳從側向放上去。

and I was able to step up immediately.

我馬上就踏上去了。

Within five minutes,

五分鐘之內，

no staircase was safe from my advances.

我的進展已經威脅到所有樓梯了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

That very day, I climbed a staircase of three flights,

那一天，我爬了三段的樓梯，

which I was quite impressed with as well,

連我自己也嚇了一跳，

只是我發現了我不知道怎樣下樓。

except I realized that I didn't know how to get back down again.

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

That was a long weekend.

那是個漫長的週末。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now, in my past life as an able-bodied person,

在我過去還手腳健全時，

I'd been a guitarist.

我曾經是個吉他手。

I was alright as a player,

我彈奏得還可以， 但我一直沒有再進一步。

but I'd never really taken it further.

I'd never really started a band or played live all that much.

我永遠不會組樂團或做現場表演。

Nonetheless, music was a great passion of mine,

不論如何，我對音樂有很大的熱情，

and when I lost my arms,

當我失去雙手，

the idea that it may no longer be a part of my life

想到音樂將不再是 我人生中的一部分，

critically challenged my will to keep living.

就讓我產生輕生的念頭。

However, the thought that emerged

然而，剛出院時

immediately after being discharged from hospital was:

我腦海中浮現的想法是：

"If Ray Charles can play the piano while blind as a bat,

「如果雷查爾斯盲到 像蝙蝠一樣也能夠彈鋼琴，

let's get to work on a solution for this guitar problem."

我們就來為這個吉他問題 想個解決方案吧。」

So, consulting with an engineer,

所以，我諮詢了一位工程師，

I designed a slide system that would hook into my left hook,

我設計了一個滑道系統， 能夠勾在我的左手勾子上，

and I devised another pick-holder system that would clip into my right hook.

我又想出了另一個彈片固定系統， 可以夾在我的右手勾子上。

Now, if this worked,

如果這招行得通，

I would be able to play the guitar open tuned on my lap, like a slide.

我就能在我的膝上彈吉他， 開放調弦，比如滑音。

So after weeks of testing and alterations,

經過數週的測試和修改，

I finally had the accessories back to play the guitar again,

我終於有了讓我能 再次彈吉他的配件，

and I was right back where I was before losing my hands --

我又回到了我失去 雙手之前的狀態——

being issued with noise complaints from my neighbors, obviously.

很顯然，就是被鄰居 申訴噪音過大。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But this time, I took it further.

但，這次，我再進了一步。

I started a band with my friends.

我和朋友成立了樂團。

We wrote songs and recorded them.

我們寫歌並將它們錄製起來。

We even played gigs to real people.

我們甚至會對真人演奏。

Not as many as this.

觀眾沒有像現在這麼多。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But even though it was a just a tiny step,

雖然那只是一小步，

it was a giant leap from what I'd achieved when I was all in one piece.

相對我還健全時的所做到的程度， 這已經算是一大步。

Now while relearning every action that one has ever cultivated

雖然，重新學習一個人 曾經培養出的每個動作

might seem like a significant undertaking --

可能好像要相當費力——

and believe me, it very much was, in the short term --

相信我，短期而言真的是如此——

it was nonetheless having a positive effect

這麼做仍然對我在人生中

on the way that I approached everything else in my life.

處理一切的方式有著正面的影響。

Not only did it transform my ability to problem-solve,

那不僅改變了我解決問題的能力，

but I also felt I became more pragmatic,

我也覺得我變得更務實，

less sensitive to hindrances,

對阻礙比較不敏感，

in some cases, more patient,

在某些情況下，比較有耐心，

and magically transformed people's abilities

且還很神奇地轉變了大家

to offer me their seats on public transport.

在公共交通工具上 讓位給我的能力。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Trivial setbacks began to pale in comparison

相較於我先前克服的挑戰，

to challenges I'd previously overcome,

瑣細的挫敗就開始相形失色，

and this allowed me to take a calm and measured approach to these challenges,

這讓我能夠用冷靜、 慎重的方式來處理這些挑戰，

keeping them in perspective

務實不誇大，

and often even finding new and improved ways to overcome them.

通常還能發現新的、 改良的方法來克服它們。

The benefit of not dwelling on the negative

不執著於負面，

and just getting on with the task at hand

只管去處理手上的任務，

became self-evident.

所產生的益處不證自明。

It even encouraged me to pursue some more fulfilling career paths

我甚至受到鼓舞去追尋 更讓人滿足的職涯道路，

that may otherwise have been inadvisable.

一般來說可能算不明智的道路。

And who would have thought that an appropriate job for me

誰料得到，非常適合我的工作

might involve the meticulous operation of electronic equipment

竟然涉及到電子設備的精密操作，

to curate dance music to people in inaccessible places

在很難進入的地方，

為受到酒精影響的人規劃音樂。

under the influence of alcohol.

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Not I.

我沒料到。

So in a competitive industry where DJs have been relentlessly honing their craft,

這是個很競爭的產業， DJ 要不斷地磨鍊他們的技藝，

拼命去接演出， 把試聽帶寄給俱樂部，

desperate to attain gigs, sending demos to clubs,

my best friend and I took a different approach,

而我和我最好的朋友 採用不同的方式，

and we started our own club night,

我們創立自己的俱樂部之夜，

and we employed ourselves as the DJs.

僱用我們自己當 DJ。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Suddenly, we had a headline slot.

突然，我們了有個標題欄。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now, when we started that club night, I could not DJ.

我們創立俱樂部之夜時， 我還無法做 DJ。

The first time I ever got behind the decks was on our opening night,

我們的開幕夜是我第一次 到那些唱盤後面，

in front of hundreds of people.

面對數百個人。

I'd only just learned where the play button was.

我才剛學會哪個是播放鈕。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But, being previously faced with so many ultimatums,

但，先前面對過這麼多最後通牒，

one's forced to be astute in adapting to new situations.

我也被迫會很精明地適應新狀況。

That club night went on to become

那個俱樂部之夜後來成了全雪黎 經營最久的每週俱樂部之夜，

the longest-running weekly club night in Sydney,

and we as DJs went on to play Australia's biggest music festivals.

我們 DJ 接著在澳洲 最大的音樂節中表演，

So eventually, I either learned quickly,

所以，最後，若不是 我學習得非常快，

or the standards of clubs have gone really downhill.

就是俱樂部的標準大不如從前了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Coming close to death can be an educational experience.

瀕臨死亡的經驗也可以是 很有教育意義的。

It's certainly true that one's priorities receive somewhat of a realignment

的確，在這樣的經歷之後，

人生中的優先事項會馬上大洗牌。

immediately afterwards.

And it's also true that some of those priorities

也的確，當中一些優先事項

are met with an increased sense of urgency.

會有更高的急迫性。

But another, more salient realization that comes to light

但，還有一項更重要的啟發，

is the triviality of our own self-importance and self-consciousness.

就是了解到我們自我重要性 和自我意識有多渺小。

To truly understand the extent to which your self-consciousness

真正了解到你的自我意識

prohibits you from engaging in opportunities

能阻擋你抓住機會的程度有多少，

should lead everyone to take risks they otherwise wouldn't.

應該就能讓每個人都去 冒原本不會冒的風險。

We're merely a blip on the time line of the universe, right?

在宇宙的時間線上， 我們只是個小點，對吧？

Act accordingly.

那行為也要相應。

Now the ideas that I'm presenting today were imbued upon me

今天我分享的想法， 深深影響了我，

through some otherwise unfortunate circumstances, granted,

的確，是透過一些一般會被 認為很不幸的境況來影響我，

but they're lying dormant in the lives of anyone who's willing to exploit them.

但只要你願意善用它們， 它們其實一直潛伏在你的生活中。

If we all understand that we all have unique weaknesses,

如果我們都了解， 我們都有獨特的弱點，

and if we're honest about what they are,

如果我們能坦誠這些弱點是什麼，

we can learn how to best take advantage of them,

我們就能學習如何 把它們做最佳利用，

whether they be mounting a curb or fear of presenting sales reports

不論弱點是踏上路緣、

害怕做業務報告簡報，

or the inability to sufficiently manage one's finances --

或是沒有能力可以 好好管理財務——

looking at that guy --

看向那個傢伙——

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

there lies the ability to learn, to adapt,

在那裡，可以找到 學習、適應的能力，

and even the ability to rewire one's instinctual response to challenges.

甚至是重新連結的能力，

去改變人對於困難挑戰 所做出的直覺反應。

Adversity is good,

逆境是好的，

and it has the potential to make you stronger.

它有可能讓你變得更強。

And, at the very least,

最少最少，

you can scare the hell out of kids if you look like a pirate.

如果你看起來像海盜， 你能把孩子嚇到屁滾尿流。

Thanks.

謝謝。

(Applause and cheers)

（掌聲及歡呼）