How we talk about sexual assault online | Ione Wells

翻译人员: Tingting Zhong 校对人员: Conway Ye

It was April, last year.

去年四月的一天晚上，

I was on an evening out with friends

我和朋友们出去聚会，

to celebrate one of their birthdays.

庆祝其中一个朋友的生日。

We hadn't been all together for a couple of weeks;

我们有好几个礼拜没聚过了，

it was a perfect evening, as we were all reunited.

重聚让那个晚上很完美。

At the end of the evening,

接近尾声的时候，

I caught the last underground train back to the other side of London.

我搭上最后一趟地铁， 赶回了伦敦的另一头。

The journey was smooth.

一路上都挺顺利的。

I got back to my local station

到站下车后

and I began the 10-minute walk home.

还需要走十分钟才能到家。

As I turned the corner onto my street,

转过这条街角，

my house in sight up ahead,

就可以看到我家，

I heard footsteps behind me

我听见身后有脚步声，

that seemed to have approached out of nowhere

不知道从哪突然冒出来的，

and were picking up pace.

脚步声越来越急促。

Before I had time to process what was happening,

还没等我反应过来是怎么回事，

a hand was clapped around my mouth so that I could not breathe,

一只手捂住了我的嘴， 使我无法呼吸，

and the young man behind me dragged me to the ground,

身后的年轻人把我拽倒在地，

beat my head repeatedly against the pavement

不停的将我的头部砸向地面

until my face began to bleed,

直到我的脸开始流血，

kicking me in the back and neck

用脚踢我的背部和颈部，

while he began to assault me,

他开始对我性侵，

ripping off my clothes and telling me to "shut up,"

撕裂我的衣服并让我闭嘴，

as I struggled to cry for help.

当时我挣扎着想要呼救。

With each smack of my head to the concrete ground,

每次当我的头部被撞向地面时，

a question echoed through my mind that still haunts me today:

我都在想一个至今仍然 笼罩着我的问题：

"Is this going to be how it all ends?"

“我将如此死去吗？”

Little could I have realized, I'd been followed the whole way

我毫无察觉，那人竟从我下车之后

from the moment I left the station.

一直跟踪我。

And hours later,

过了几个小时，

I was standing topless and barelegged in front of the police,

我赤身裸体的来到警察局，

having the cuts and bruises on my naked body photographed

我身上的割伤和淤青被拍照，

for forensic evidence.

当做法医证据。

Now, there are few words to describe the all-consuming feelings

几乎没有语言能够 描述出当时我绝望的感受，

of vulnerability, shame, upset and injustice that I was ridden with

脆弱、羞耻、苦恼和不公正，

in that moment and for the weeks to come.

之后的几周也是如此。

But wanting to find a way to condense these feelings

但我想找到一种方法， 能把这些感觉集中转化为

into something ordered that I could work through,

我能理解并克服的东西，

I decided to do what felt most natural to me:

于是，我决定用我最熟悉的事物，

I wrote about it.

—— 写作

It started out as a cathartic exercise.

开始我把它当成是种宣泄，

I wrote a letter to my assaulter,

我给施暴者写了封信，

humanizing him as "you,"

在信里我称他为“你”，

to identify him as part of the very community

把他看作团体的一部分，

that he had so violently abused that night.

那个被他暴力虐待的团体。

Stressing the tidal-wave effect of his actions,

为了强调他的行为所带来的连锁反应，

I wrote:

我写到：

"Did you ever think of the people in your life?

“你考虑过你身边的人吗？

I don't know who the people in your life are.

我不清楚那些人到底是谁，

I don't know anything about you.

我对你毫无了解，

But I do know this:

但有一点我知道：

you did not just attack me that night.

那天晚上你不仅仅只是袭击了我

I'm a daughter, I'm a friend,

我是一名女儿，是朋友，

I'm a sister, I'm a pupil,

是姐姐，学生，

I'm a cousin, I'm a niece,

表姐，侄女，

I'm a neighbor;

是邻居；

I'm the employee who served everyone coffee

我是在地铁站的咖啡馆里

in the café under the railway.

为每个人端上咖啡的服务生，

And all the people who form these relations to me

所有和我有所关联的人

make up my community.

形成了我所在的团体。

And you assaulted every single one of them.

你袭击了这个团体里的每一个人，

You violated the truth that I will never cease to fight for,

你破坏了我誓死保卫的真理，

and which all of these people represent:

所有人所代表的真理：

that there are infinitely more good people in the world than bad."

“世界上的好人比坏人多很多。”

But, determined not to let this one incident make me lose faith

但是， 我决定不让这次意外使我失去

in the solidarity in my community or humanity as a whole,

对我的团体或是人类的信念，

I recalled the 7/7 terrorist bombings in July 2005 on London transport,

我想起2005年7月7号 的伦敦恐袭爆炸案，

and how the mayor of London at the time, and indeed my own parents,

那时的伦敦市长，甚至我的父母，

had insisted that we all get back on the tubes the next day,

都坚持我们第二天仍然乘坐地铁，

so we wouldn't be defined or changed

我们不会被那些恐怖分子所威慑，

by those that had made us feel unsafe.

而做出改变。

I told my attacker,

我对施暴者说：

"You've carried out your attack,

“你对我进行了袭击，

but now I'm getting back on my tube.

但是现在，我会继续我的生活。

My community will not feel we are unsafe walking home after dark.

我所在的团体 不会觉得走夜路回家不安全,

We will get on the last tubes home,

我们搭乘最后一班地铁回家，

and we will walk up our streets alone,

独自一人走在街道上，

because we will not ingrain or submit to the idea

因为我们不会把一种想法深植脑中，

that we are putting ourselves in danger in doing so.

那就是这不安全。

We will continue to come together, like an army,

当团体内的成员受到威胁的时候，

when any member of our community is threatened.

我们将像一支军队一样，团结一致，

And this is a fight you will not win."

而且，这场仗你不会赢。”

At the time of writing this letter --

在写这封信的时候---

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

At the time of writing this letter,

在写这封信的时候，

I was studying for my exams in Oxford,

我正在剑桥大学备考，

and I was working on the local student paper there.

并在当地的学生报社工作，

Despite being lucky enough to have friends and family supporting me,

尽管我非常幸运 有亲朋好友的支持，

那段时间我都是独处。

it was an isolating time.

I didn't know anyone who'd been through this before;

我不认识有类似的经历的人；

at least I didn't think I did.

至少我觉得我不认识。

I'd read news reports, statistics, and knew how common sexual assault was,

我看过新闻报道和统计数据， 我知道性侵有多么常见，

yet I couldn't actually name a single person

但我却指不出一个

that I'd heard speak out about an experience of this kind before.

谈论过类似经历的人

So in a somewhat spontaneous decision,

于是，出于自发性的，

I decided that I would publish my letter in the student paper,

我决定要把我的信发表到学生报纸上，

hoping to reach out to others in Oxford

寄希望于在牛津找到有

that might have had a similar experience and be feeling the same way.

相似经历和相同感受的人。

At the end of the letter,

信末尾处，

I asked others to write in with their experiences

我呼吁其他人也写下她们的经历，

under the hashtag, "#NotGuilty,"

并用 “#不羞愧” 当做话题标签，

to emphasize that survivors of assault could express themselves

用来强调那些遭受性侵的幸存者能够

without feeling shame or guilt about what happened to them --

不感到羞耻和愧疚地 表达她们的看法，

to show that we could all stand up to sexual assault.

用来证明我们能站起来直面性侵。

What I never anticipated is that almost overnight,

让我意想不到的是，仅仅过了一晚，

this published letter would go viral.

这篇发表信像病毒般扩散。

Soon, we were receiving hundreds of stories

不久，我就收到数百个故事，

from men and women across the world,

分别来自世界各地的男士女士，

which we began to publish on a website I set up.

我开始将这些故事发表在 自己建立的网站上，

And the hashtag became a campaign.

而这个话题标签开始成为一项运动。

There was an Australian mother in her 40s who described how on an evening out,

有一位澳大利亚的40多岁的母亲， 向我描述她是如何在一天晚上，

she was followed to the bathroom

被人跟踪到了洗手间，

by a man who went to repeatedly grab her crotch.

后来那人不断对抓住她的胯部

There was a man in the Netherlands

还有一个来自荷兰的男士，

who described how he was date-raped on a visit to London

讲述他如何在伦敦与人 约会时被对方强暴，

and wasn't taken seriously by anyone he reported his case to.

而当他报警时， 没有一个人把他的话当真。

I had personal Facebook messages from people in India and South America,

来自印度和南非的人 在Facebook上私信我，

saying, how can we bring the message of the campaign there?

询问如何将这场运动带 到那里？

首位贡献者是一位叫Nikki的女士，

One of the first contributions we had was from a woman called Nikki,

who described growing up, being molested my her own father.

她讲述在青少年期 被自己的生父骚扰。

And I had friends open up to me

我的一些朋友也向我敞开心扉，

about experiences ranging from those that happened last week

诉说她们的故事， 从发生在几周前，

to those that happened years ago, that I'd had no idea about.

到几年前的事情， 而我却对此一无所知。

And the more we started to receive these messages,

随着收到越来越多这样的故事，

the more we also started to receive messages of hope --

我们也收到愈来愈多的希望，

people feeling empowered by this community of voices

人们因为集体抵抗性侵和 保护受害者的声音，

standing up to sexual assault and victim-blaming.

而感觉到有能力。

One woman called Olivia,

一位名叫Olivia的女士，

after describing how she was attacked

她讲述了自己是如何

by someone she had trusted and cared about for a long time,

被自己信赖并关心多年的人所侵犯，

said, "I've read many of the stories posted here,

她说：“我在这里看到很多人的故事，

and I feel hopeful that if so many women can move forward,

如果有这么多人都能向前看，

then I can, too.

那我也能。

I've been inspired by many,

许多人的故事都激励着我，

and I hope I can be as strong as them someday.

我希望有一天能我也和她们一样强大。

I'm sure I will."

我坚信我会的。”

People around the world began tweeting under this hashtag,

世界各地的人开始发推特， 参与这个话题标签，

and the letter was republished and covered by the national press,

我那封信也发表了， 全国的新闻界也有所报道

as well as being translated into several other languages worldwide.

它被翻译成多种语言。

But something struck me about the media attention

但这封信吸引的媒体关注

that this letter was attracting.

使我感到惊讶。

For something to be front-page news,

对于刊登在首页的新闻来说，

given the word "news" itself,

既然是“新”闻，

we can assume it must be something new or something surprising.

可以认为这是新的或令人惊讶的事情，

And yet sexual assault is not something new.

而性侵并不是什么新鲜事。

Sexual assault, along with other kinds of injustices,

性侵，同其他的不公平一样，

is reported in the media all the time.

是媒体报道的热点。

But through the campaign,

但这次运动中，

these injustices were framed as not just news stories,

这些不公正并不仅仅被宣扬为新鲜事，

they were firsthand experiences that had affected real people,

是对人们有切实影响的真实经历，

who were creating, with the solidarity of others,

那些人同其他人一起，创造出

what they needed and had previously lacked:

他们以前需要却缺乏的东西：

a platform to speak out,

一个表达心声的平台，

the reassurance they weren't alone or to blame for what happened to them

能够消除不安， 或是责怪这种行为，

and open discussions that would help to reduce stigma around the issue.

以及能够帮助减轻耻辱的公开探讨。

The voices of those directly affected were at the forefront of the story --

这些故事的讲述者都是直接受害者，

not the voices of journalists or commentators on social media.

不是社交媒体上的记者或评论员们

And that's why the story was news.

这也是为何这些故事确实是新闻

We live in an incredibly interconnected world

我们生活在一个相互关联的世界，

with the proliferation of social media,

有社交媒体作为传播工具，

which is of course a fantastic resource for igniting social change.

而它也为点燃社会变革 提供了宝贵资源，

But it's also made us increasingly reactive,

但这也使人们变得多愁善感，

from the smallest annoyances of, "Oh, my train's been delayed,"

从细小的烦心事，“哎，火车又晚点了”

to the greatest injustices of war, genocides, terrorist attacks.

严重到战争、种族屠杀、 恐怖袭击所带来的不公，

Our default response has become to leap to react to any kind of grievance

人们默认的表达悲愤的方式是通过

by tweeting, Facebooking, hastagging --

在推特、脸书上发文

anything to show others that we, too, have reacted.

任何能够让他人知道我们 作出反应的方式。

The problem with reacting in this manner en masse

大众都采用这种方式做出回应 的问题是，

is it can sometimes mean that we don't actually react at all,

即人们并不是真正的在作为，

not in the sense of actually doing anything, anyway.

没有做任何实质性的行动。

It might make ourselves feel better,

这样做可能会使人们自我感觉良好，

like we've contributed to a group mourning or outrage,

就好像我们是默哀或愤慨的 团队中的一份子，

but it doesn't actually change anything.

但这改变不了任何事情

And what's more,

甚至，

it can sometimes drown out the voices

这种反应会淹没那些，

of those directly affected by the injustice,

遭遇不公的直接受害者的声音，

whose needs must be heard.

而这些人才是真正需要被倾听的对象。

Worrying, too, is the tendency for some reactions to injustice

还有令人担忧的是， 有些应对不公的行为

to build even more walls,

可能会创造出更多隔阂，

being quick to point fingers with the hope of providing easy solutions

人们迅速问责， 希望这样就能为这些复杂的问题

to complex problems.

提供简单的解决方案。

One British tabloid, on the publication of my letter,

一家刊登我的信的英国小报，

branded a headline stating,

是这样标题的：

"Oxford Student Launches Online Campaign to Shame Attacker."

“牛津学生在网上发起羞辱施暴者运动”

But the campaign never meant to shame anyone.

但这场运动从未打算羞辱任何人。

It meant to let people speak and to make others listen.

它的初衷是让人们说出故事， 并让其他人倾听，

Divisive Twitter trolls were quick to create even more injustice,

分裂性言论很快在推特上扩散， 创造出更多不公正，

commenting on my attacker's ethnicity or class

评论我的施暴者的民族或社会阶级

to push their own prejudiced agendas.

从而宣扬他们自身的偏见主义

And some even accused me of feigning the whole thing

有人甚至指责我捏造了这整个事件，

to push, and I quote,

引用他的话，

my "feminist agenda of man-hating."

“为了实现女权主义对男性的仇恨之心。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I know, right?

很无稽，对吧，

As if I'm going to be like, "Hey guys! Sorry I can't make it,

就好像说“抱歉，伙计们， 我去不了了，

I'm busy trying to hate the entire male population

因为当我30岁的时候，

by the time I'm 30."

我正忙着仇视所有男人呢‘’

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Now, I'm almost sure

我几乎可以肯定，

that these people wouldn't say the things they say in person.

这些人如果当着我的面 肯定不会这样说，

But it's as if because they might be behind a screen,

但这似乎是因为他们躲在电脑屏幕后面，

in the comfort in their own home

舒适的待在自己家里，

when on social media,

在社交媒体上，

people forget that what they're doing is a public act --

他们会忘记自己的行为其实是公众行为，

that other people will be reading it and be affected by it.

会有其他人阅读他们的言论， 并因此受到影响。

Returning to my analogy of getting back on our trains,

回到我说的那个地铁的比喻，

another main concern I have about this noise that escalates

关于网络上那些对不公的反应，

from our online responses to injustice

还有一个关键的担忧，

is that it can very easily slip into portraying us as the affected party,

这样做的结果容易使受害方，

which can lead to a sense of defeatism,

产生一种失败感，

a kind of mental barrier to seeing any opportunity for positivity or change

一道屏障，导致受害者在遇害后，

after a negative situation.

无法正视积极的变化，

A couple of months before the campaign started

这次运动开始前几个月，

or any of this happened to me,

在我遭遇这些事情之前，

I went to a TEDx event in Oxford,

我参加了在牛津举办的TEDx活动，

and I saw Zelda la Grange speak,

观看了赛尔达·拉·格兰吉的演讲，

the former private secretary to Nelson Mandela.

他是纳尔逊·曼德拉的前任私人秘书。

One of the stories she told really struck me.

有一个故事对我的影响很大

She spoke of when Mandela was taken to court

在曼德拉委任对体育事务 进行调查之后，

by the South African Rugby Union

南非橄榄球联盟，

after he commissioned an inquiry into sports affairs.

将其告上法庭。

In the courtroom,

在法庭上，

he went up to the South African Rugby Union's lawyers,

曼德拉走向南非橄榄球联盟的律师，

shook them by the hand

同他们握手，

and conversed with them, each in their own language.

并用他们的语言进行交谈。

And Zelda wanted to protest,

当时塞尔达想抗议，

saying they had no right to his respect

她认为那些人对曼德拉造成的不公正，

after this injustice they had caused him.

不值得受到曼德拉的尊敬。

He turned to her and said,

曼德拉则告诉她说：

"You must never allow the enemy to determine the grounds for battle."

“永远不要让敌人来决定战场。”

At the time of hearing these words,

当我听到这些话时，

I didn't really know why they were so important,

我并没有真正知道到它的重要性，

but I felt they were, and I wrote them down in a notebook I had on me.

但我感觉到了， 所以把它们记到了本子上

But I've thought about this line a lot ever since.

后来，这句话我思考了很久。

Revenge, or the expression of hatred

复仇，或者是向那些对你施加不公的人

towards those who have done us injustice

表达恨意，

may feel like a human instinct in the face of wrong,

或许是人类面对不公正行为 所产生的直觉，

but we need to break out of these cycles

但我们需要打破这些常规，

if we are to hope to transform negative events of injustice

如果我们希望将不公带来的负面影响

into positive social change.

转变为正面的社会变革的话。

To do otherwise

如果我们继续

continues to let the enemy determine the grounds for battle,

让敌人来决定战斗，

creates a binary,

制造出一种二进制的状态，

where we who have suffered become the affected,

那些受害者变成影响者，

pitted against them, the perpetrators.

与施暴者针锋相对。

And just like we got back on our tubes,

正如我们选择继续回到地铁上一样，

we can't let our platforms for interconnectivity and community

我们不能允许人类相互关联的平台和社区

be the places that we settle for defeat.

成为决斗的战场。

But I don't want to discourage a social media response,

但我并不想打击社交媒体的反应，

because I owe the development of the #NotGuilty campaign

因为“不羞愧”这次运动几乎全部

almost entirely to social media.

得益于社交网络。

But I do want to encourage a more considered approach

但我想鼓励用更加深思熟虑的方法--

to the way we use it to respond to injustice.

来应对社会不公正。

The start, I think, is to ask ourselves two things.

我想，首先， 我们应该自问两个问题。

Firstly: Why do I feel this injustice?

第一：“我为什么感受到不公正？”

In my case, there were several answers to this.

在我自己身上， 这个问题的答案有好几个。

Someone had hurt me and those who I loved,

有人伤害了我，而有些我爱的人，

under the assumption they wouldn't have to be held to account

认为肇事者对此没有责任，

or recognize the damage they had caused.

或不知道对我造成的伤害。

Not only that, but thousands of men and women suffer every day

不仅如此， 成千上万的男女都遭受着性侵，

from sexual abuse, often in silence,

他们大多保持沉默，

yet it's still a problem we don't give the same airtime to as other issues.

而问题是对此事的关注度 比其他事件少。

It's still an issue many people blame victims for.

至今仍有许多人指责受害者。

Next, ask yourself: How, in recognizing these reasons,

其次，问你自己： “当你认识到这些原因了，

could I go about reversing them?

怎样才能改变它们呢？”

With us, this was holding my attacker to account -- and many others.

对于我来说， 是让我的施暴者承担起责任。

It was calling them out on the effect they had caused.

让他们知道我们受到的伤害。

It was giving airtime to the issue of sexual assault,

是让媒体更多的关注性侵事件，

opening up discussions amongst friends, amongst families, in the media

是打开亲朋好友之间的交流，

重建封闭太久的媒体通道，

that had been closed for too long,

and stressing that victims shouldn't feel to blame

是强调受害者不应为其所

遭受的伤害而受到责备。

for what happened to them.

We might still have a long way to go in solving this problem entirely.

完全解决这些问题或许还需要很长一段路

But in this way,

但是，通过这种方式，

we can begin to use social media as an active tool for social justice,

我们便能够开始把社交媒体 当成有效的工具，

as a tool to educate, to stimulate dialogues,

来应对社会不公正，教育大众， 鼓励对话，

to make those in positions of authority aware of an issue

让当权人士意识到这些问题，

by listening to those directly affected by it.

让他们倾听这些直接受害者的声音。

Because sometimes these questions don't have easy answers.

因为有时这些问题并没有简单的回答。

In fact, they rarely do.

实际上，几乎是没有。

But this doesn't mean we still can't give them a considered response.

但这并不意味着我们不能／做出考究的回应。

In situations where you can't go about thinking

当你不知道该怎样做

how you'd reverse this feeling of injustice,

才能转变这种遭遇不公的境地时，

you can still think, maybe not what you can do,

与其纠结该做何事，

but what you can not do.

不如想想不做哪些事情。

You can not build further walls by fighting injustice with more prejudice,

你不能以偏见来对抗不公平，

more hatred.

更多的仇恨。

You can not speak over those directly affected by an injustice.

你可以不对那些直接受害者闲言碎语，

And you can not react to injustice, only to forget about it the next day,

你可以不对不公平做回应， 第二天忘掉这件事，

just because the rest of Twitter has moved on.

因为推特已经把这件事忘掉。

Sometimes not reacting instantly is, ironically,

讽刺的是，有时不立刻作出反应，

the best immediate course of action we can take.

反而是我们能够做到的最快的行动。

Because we might be angry, upset and energized by injustice,

因为这些不公可能会让你愤怒、苦恼，

but let's consider our responses.

但想想我们该怎么回应。

Let us hold people to account, without descending into a culture

让肇事者负起责任， 但同时不让我们的社会

that thrives off shaming and injustice ourselves.

堕落于羞耻施暴者，引起更多不公。

Let us remember that distinction,

让我们谨记常被互联网用户遗忘的一点，

so often forgotten by internet users,

那就是批判和羞辱

between criticism and insult.

之间的区别。

Let us not forget to think before we speak,

让我们别忘了三思而言，

just because we might have a screen in front of us.

尽管我们有面前的屏幕保护着自己。

And when we create noise on social media,

当我们在社交网络上发声时，

let it not drown out the needs of those affected,

不要淹没受害者的需求，

but instead let it amplify their voices,

而要扩散他们的声音，

so the internet becomes a place where you're not the exception

从而让互联网成为一个就算说出自己的遭遇

if you speak out about something that has actually happened to you.

也不会当成另类看待的地方。

All these considered approaches to injustice

所有这些对抗不公的方法，

evoke the very keystones on which the internet was built:

唤起了互联网建立时的初衷，

to network, to have signal, to connect --

那就是网络，标榜和连接--

all these terms that imply bringing people together,

这寓意着使人们团结，

not pushing people apart.

而不是疏远。

Because if you look up the word "justice" in the dictionary,

因为当你在字典里查“公正”一词时，

before punishment,

在惩罚，

before administration of law or judicial authority,

法规或司法权威之前，

you get:

你会看到：

"The maintenance of what is right."

“维护正义”

And I think there are few things more "right" in this world

我想地球上还是有几样“正义的”事物

than bringing people together,

超越联盟

than unions.

使人们团结一致，

And if we allow social media to deliver that,

如果我们让社交媒体传播这一点，

then it can deliver a very powerful form of justice, indeed.

那它便能带来强大的公正体系。

Thank you very much.

谢谢！

(Applause)

（掌声）