Why you should bring your whole self to work | The Way We Work, a TED series

163,835 views ・ 2019-02-09

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:00
A leader is steady, firm, decisive, unwavering.
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Prevodilac: Ivana Krivokuća Lektor: Kristina Radosavljević
00:03
Never let 'em see you sweat, always have an answer.
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00:06
[The Way We Work]
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00:10
My name is Dan, I'm a partner at a global creative consultancy.
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Vođa je stabilan, čvrst, odlučan, nepokolebljiv.
00:14
But there's another side to me:
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Nikad ne dozvoli da vide da se preznojavaš, uvek imaj odgovor.
00:17
Carrie Dragshaw,
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00:18
the character I created on Instagram.
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[Način na koji radimo]
00:20
As I thought about my double life, I couldn't help but wonder ...
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Zovem se Den i partner sam u globalnom kreativnom konsaltingu.
00:25
When your true self is a little nontraditional,
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Ali postoji i moja druga strana:
00:28
how much of it can you really bring to the office?
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Keri Dregšo,
lik koji sam stvorio na Instagramu.
00:32
For some of us is authenticity off-limits?
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Dok sam razmišljao o svom dvostrukom životu,
morao sam da se zapitam...
00:36
For the first 10 years of my career,
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Kada je tvoje pravo ja pomalo netradicionalno,
00:39
I thought there was one way to be a leader:
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koliki deo njega možeš da zaista uneseš u kancelariju?
00:41
decisive and serious.
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00:43
But that's not me.
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Da li je za neke od nas autentičnost van domašaja?
00:45
So I'd put on basically office drag to fit the role:
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Prvih 10 godina svoje karijere,
00:49
I'd talk in a deeper voice, try to hold in my hand motions.
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mislio sam da postoji samo jedan način da se bude vođa: odlučan i ozbiljan.
00:52
I'm someone who gets really excited about things,
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00:54
so I'd temper that.
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Ali to nisam ja.
00:56
I had this little voice in my head, telling me,
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Zato sam se u suštini prerušio kancelarijski da se uklopim u ulogu:
00:59
"You're too gay, too feminine, too flamboyant."
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govorio bih dubljim glasom i pokušavao da smanjim pokrete ruku.
01:02
I had one well-intentioned adviser who said,
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Ja sam neko ko se jako uzbudi zbog raznih stvari,
01:05
"Everyone knows you're gay. And that's great.
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pa bih to ublažio.
01:07
But you don't need to beat them over the head with it."
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Imao sam glasić u glavi koji mi je govorio:
01:10
Cut to: me in a tutu, for Halloween 2016.
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„Previše si gej, previše ženstven, previše upadljiv.“
Jedna dobronamerna savetnica mi je rekla:
01:15
I dressed up as my favorite TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw,
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„Svi znaju da si gej i to je super.
01:19
thinking my friends would get a kick out of it.
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Ali ne moraš da im to guraš pod nos.“
01:21
And then, things got crazy.
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Premotajmo film na mene u suknjici na Noć veštica 2016. godine.
01:23
The post went viral, and at first it was pure fun.
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01:26
I started getting these incredible messages from people
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Obukao sam se kao moj omiljeni lik iz TV serije, Keri Bredšo,
01:29
about how happy it made them,
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01:31
how it encouraged them to be their authentic selves.
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misleći da će se moji prijatelji oduševiti.
A potom su stvari poprimile čudan tok.
01:34
And I started to think,
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01:35
maybe this is the time to tell that little voice in my head to just shut up
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Objava se proširila na internetu, i najpre je to bila čista zabava.
Počeo sam da dobijam neverovatne poruke od ljudi
01:39
and let myself be me.
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o tome koliko ih je to usrećilo,
01:42
But then things got a little too big.
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kako ih je podstaklo da postanu svoje autentično ja.
01:44
Carrie Dragshaw was everywhere -- In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" --
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Počeo sam da razmišljam
da je možda vreme da kažem tom glasiću u glavi da prosto ućuti
01:48
and I got terrified:
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01:49
"What would my bosses think?
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01:51
Would my coworkers still respect me as a leader?
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i da me pusti da budem svoj.
01:53
What would my clients think?"
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Ali onda su stvari poprimile prevelike dimenzije.
01:55
I thought I was going to have to get a different job.
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Keri Dregšo je bila svuda - u „Njujork postu“, „Ju-Es vikliju“ -
01:58
But then, something happened, something small.
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02:00
I got a text from my boss, it wasn't long, it just said,
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i bio sam prestravljen:
„Šta će pomisliti moji šefovi?
02:03
"Wow, Cosmo!"
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Hoće li me kolege i dalje poštovati kao vođu?
02:05
With a link to an article that had just gone up about me.
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Šta će moji klijenti pomisliti?“
Pomislio sam da ću morati da nađem drugi posao.
02:09
And it let me put that little, scared voice away
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Ali zatim se nešto dogodilo, neka sitnica.
02:11
and just be excited about this whole new world,
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Dobio sam poruku od šefa koja nije bila dugačka, samo je pisalo:
02:14
rather than freaked out.
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„Opa, Kosmopolitan!“
02:16
That's the power of one person,
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02:17
sometimes all it takes is one ally to make you feel comfortable.
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Sa linkom za članak o meni koji je upravo bio objavljen.
To mi je dozvolilo da sklonim taj uplašeni glasić na stranu
02:22
And my coworkers started acting differently.
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i prosto budem oduševljen ovim novim svetom,
02:24
They became more open, more playful with me,
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02:26
it was as if knowing this other side of me
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umesto izbezumljen.
To je moć jedne osobe.
02:29
gave them permission to be more of themselves as well.
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Ponekad je potreban samo jedan saveznik da biste se osećali ugodno.
02:31
I thought that openness and vulnerability
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02:34
would actually decrease my standing with my team.
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Moje kolege su počele da se ponašaju drugačije.
Postali su otvoreniji, razigraniji sa mnom,
02:37
But it's done the opposite.
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kao da im je to što su znali tu moju drugu stranu
02:39
Two years in,
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02:40
I never could have imagined that this part of me would not just be embraced,
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dalo dozvolu da i sami budu više svoji.
Mislio sam da će otvorenost i ranjivost
02:45
but could actually help my career.
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zapravo umanjiti moj ugled u timu.
02:47
Now, I'm lucky.
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02:49
I work in New York City,
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Ali desilo se suprotno.
02:50
in an office where creativity is valued
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Nakon dve godine,
02:52
and I was already pretty established in my career when all of this started.
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nisam mogao da zamislim da će ovaj moj deo ne samo biti prihvaćen,
02:56
Maybe that's you, maybe it isn't.
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već da će zaista pomoći mojoj karijeri.
02:59
But all of this has taught me so much
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No, ja imam sreće.
03:01
about just the importance of bringing your whole self to work.
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Radim u Njujorku,
na radnom mestu na kome se ceni kreativnost
i već sam se bio dovoljno uhodao u karijeri kada je sve to počelo.
03:05
And it's really challenged my own misperceptions
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03:07
about what it takes to be successful.
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Možda se možete tu pronaći, a možda ne.
03:09
There's no one kind of way to be a leader.
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Ali sve ovo me je toliko naučilo
03:12
It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them.
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o značaju unošenja celog sebe u poslu.
03:16
Before, if a meeting was hard, I'd put on my perfect leader mask.
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To je zaista dovelo u pitanje moje pogrešne predstave
o tome šta je potrebno za uspeh.
03:20
Now, I can say, "Gosh, that was frustrating."
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Ne postoji jedinstven način da se bude vođa.
03:24
We can talk about challenges and struggles in an open way,
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Radi se o tome da otkrijete svoje snage i pronađete načine da ih uvećate.
03:27
rather than everybody pretending that they're fine until it's too late.
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Ranije, ako bi sastanak postao naporan, stavio bih moju savršenu masku vođe.
03:31
Concealing an identity takes work.
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Sada mogu da kažem: „Čoveče, to je bilo mučno.“
03:34
Think of all the wasted energy spent pretending,
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Možemo razgovarati o problemima i onome što nas muči na otvoren način,
03:37
wishing you were someone different.
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03:39
What's most interesting to me, though, is that in this big study of covering,
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umesto da se svi pretvaraju da su u redu dok ne bude kasno.
Sakrivanje identiteta iziskuje napor.
03:44
93 percent of those who say they're doing it
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03:46
also believe their organization values inclusion.
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Pomislite na svu energiju potrošenu na pretvaranje,
u želji da ste neko drugi.
03:50
So clearly, our workplaces and all of our strange inner voices
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Ali ono što mi je najzanimljivije je da, u jednoj velikoj studiji o sakrivanju,
03:55
have a long way to go on acceptance.
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93 posto onih koji kažu da to rade
03:57
There's a big difference between adapting and disguising.
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takođe veruje da njihova organizacija ceni inkluziju.
04:02
And I think I learned that a little late.
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Dakle, jasno je da naša radna mesta i svi naši čudni unutrašnji glasovi
04:04
Personally, I'm taking all of this as a call to be the ally
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treba tek da pređu dug put do prihvatanja.
04:08
who, like my boss did for me,
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04:09
lets people know that it's OK to open up.
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Postoji velika razlika između prilagođavanja i prikrivanja.
04:12
If you're gay, or proud of your ethnic background,
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Mislim da sam to pomalo kasno spoznao.
04:15
or have a disability or are deeply religious,
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Ja lično sve ovo shvatam kao poziv da budem saveznik
04:17
see what it's like being your full self at work.
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koji, kao što je moj šef učinio za mene,
04:21
You might be pleasantly surprised.
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daje ljudima do znanja da je u redu da se otvore.
Ako ste gej, ponosni na svoju etničku pripadnost,
imate invaliditet ili ste duboko religiozni,
vidite kako je kada ste na poslu sasvim verni sebi.
Možda se prijatno iznenadite.
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