Why you should bring your whole self to work | The Way We Work, a TED series

A leader is steady, firm, decisive, unwavering.

翻译人员: Archi Xiao 校对人员: jacks peng

Never let 'em see you sweat, always have an answer.

[The Way We Work]

My name is Dan, I'm a partner at a global creative consultancy.

作为一个领导者， 你需要果断，坚定。

But there's another side to me:

永远不要让别人 看见你慌张，时刻准备着。

Carrie Dragshaw,

the character I created on Instagram.

【我们的工作方式】

As I thought about my double life, I couldn't help but wonder ...

我的名字叫丹，我是一家 跨国创意咨询公司的合伙人。

When your true self is a little nontraditional,

但我还有另外一面：

how much of it can you really bring to the office?

Carrie Drashaw，

那是我在Instagram上创造的另一个人设。

For some of us is authenticity off-limits?

每当我想到自己的双重角色都禁不住想…

For the first 10 years of my career,

当你的真实自我并不那么符合传统时，

I thought there was one way to be a leader:

你在工作中会表现出多少呢？

decisive and serious.

But that's not me.

对于有些人来说，真实是禁区？

So I'd put on basically office drag to fit the role:

在我事业的头十年，

I'd talk in a deeper voice, try to hold in my hand motions.

我以为成为领导者只有一种方法：

I'm someone who gets really excited about things,

就是要果断和严肃。

so I'd temper that.

但那并不是我。

I had this little voice in my head, telling me,

所以我只有带上办公室伪装 才能适应这个角色：

"You're too gay, too feminine, too flamboyant."

我会用深沉的声音说话， 控制住自己的手势。

I had one well-intentioned adviser who said,

其实我是那种特别容易激动的人，

"Everyone knows you're gay. And that's great.

所以我会让自己淡定些。

But you don't need to beat them over the head with it."

我脑海里总是有个 小小的声音在跟我说，

Cut to: me in a tutu, for Halloween 2016.

“你太娘了，太阴柔，太花枝招展。”

之前有个很好心的顾问跟我说，

I dressed up as my favorite TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw,

“大家都知道你是同性恋，那很好啊。

thinking my friends would get a kick out of it.

但是你不需要那样克制住自己。”

And then, things got crazy.

镜头切换：2016年的 万圣节上穿着芭蕾短裙的我。

The post went viral, and at first it was pure fun.

I started getting these incredible messages from people

我打扮成我最爱的 电视剧角色Carrie Brashaw，

about how happy it made them,

how it encouraged them to be their authentic selves.

想着我的朋友们看见了 肯定会觉得很好玩。

然后事情的发展有点失控。

And I started to think,

maybe this is the time to tell that little voice in my head to just shut up

这条帖子火速走红， 一开始只是纯粹的为了好玩。

我开始收到一些不可思议的来信，

and let myself be me.

来信者说这条帖子让他们很开心，

But then things got a little too big.

鼓励着他们要做真实的自己。

Carrie Dragshaw was everywhere -- In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" --

于是我在想，

也许现在我可以让我脑海里 那个小声音闭嘴了，

and I got terrified:

"What would my bosses think?

Would my coworkers still respect me as a leader?

让我做回真实的自己。

What would my clients think?"

随后这件事波及的范围 不是一般的大。

I thought I was going to have to get a different job.

Carrie Dragshaw无处不在， 出现在纽约时报，US周刊等。

But then, something happened, something small.

I got a text from my boss, it wasn't long, it just said,

我却害怕了：

“我老板会怎么想？”

"Wow, Cosmo!"

“我的同事们还会把我当作 一个领导那样尊重我吗？”

With a link to an article that had just gone up about me.

“我的客户会怎样看待我？”

我觉得我得换一份工作了。

And it let me put that little, scared voice away

但是就在那个时候， 发生了一件很小的事情。

and just be excited about this whole new world,

我收到了老板的短信， 内容是这样的，

rather than freaked out.

“兄弟，那太带感了！”

That's the power of one person,

sometimes all it takes is one ally to make you feel comfortable.

附带着一篇关于我的媒体报道。

这驱散了我心底的恐慌，

And my coworkers started acting differently.

让我为这个新世界激动起来，

They became more open, more playful with me,

it was as if knowing this other side of me

每天不再如履薄冰。

这就是一个人的力量，

gave them permission to be more of themselves as well.

有的时候只需要 一个支持者让你感到自在。

I thought that openness and vulnerability

would actually decrease my standing with my team.

我的同事们也开始有了变化。

他们变得更开放， 与我相处也更加自如，

But it's done the opposite.

就好像知道了我的另一面，

Two years in,

I never could have imagined that this part of me would not just be embraced,

让他们获得许可一般做自己。

我曾以为那种开放与脆弱

but could actually help my career.

会削弱我在团队中的威信。

Now, I'm lucky.

I work in New York City,

但是恰恰相反。

in an office where creativity is valued

已经两年了，

and I was already pretty established in my career when all of this started.

我从未想象过我的 这一面不仅仅被接受了，

Maybe that's you, maybe it isn't.

还帮助了我的事业。

But all of this has taught me so much

现在我感到很幸运。

我在纽约工作，

about just the importance of bringing your whole self to work.

在一个创造力得到重视的公司工作，

当这一切开始的时候， 我的事业已经步入正轨了。

And it's really challenged my own misperceptions

about what it takes to be successful.

无论你是否也有过类似的经历，

There's no one kind of way to be a leader.

但是这一切教会我很多事情，

It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them.

教会我把真实的自己带到 工作中去的重要性。

Before, if a meeting was hard, I'd put on my perfect leader mask.

这极大地挑战了我个人误解，

教会我怎样才能成功。

Now, I can say, "Gosh, that was frustrating."

成为一个领导者的方法不只一种。

We can talk about challenges and struggles in an open way,

你得找到自己的优势并放大。

rather than everybody pretending that they're fine until it's too late.

以前遇到艰难的会议， 我会带上完美的领导面具。

Concealing an identity takes work.

而现在我会说， “我的天，这太难办了。”

Think of all the wasted energy spent pretending,

我们可以开城公布地谈论挑战和困境，

wishing you were someone different.

What's most interesting to me, though, is that in this big study of covering,

而不是所有人都在掩饰 一切顺利，直到为时太晚。

掩藏一个身份耗费心力。

93 percent of those who say they're doing it

also believe their organization values inclusion.

想想这些花在掩藏上的精力，

祈求自己变成另一个人。

So clearly, our workplaces and all of our strange inner voices

在这个有关于掩藏的研究中， 我觉得最有趣的是

have a long way to go on acceptance.

93%的人声称在做真实的自己，

There's a big difference between adapting and disguising.

同时也相信自己的公司重视他们的融入。

And I think I learned that a little late.

可显然，我们的工作场所以及 自己脑海里奇怪的声音

Personally, I'm taking all of this as a call to be the ally

需要很努力才能被接受。

who, like my boss did for me,

lets people know that it's OK to open up.

适应和伪装是两个完全不同的概念。

If you're gay, or proud of your ethnic background,

我觉得自己开窍也有点晚了。

or have a disability or are deeply religious,

坦诚地讲，这在召唤我成为一个支持者，

see what it's like being your full self at work.

就像我老板对待我那样，

You might be pleasantly surprised.

我要让人们知道我们可以 表达真实的自我。

如果你是同性恋， 或者以你的民族背景为傲，

或者你是残疾人， 又或者你忠于某个宗教，

尝试着在工作中表现出真实的自己。

也许你会得到让人激动的惊喜。