Ash Beckham: We're all hiding something. Let's find the courage to open up

236,626 views ใƒป 2014-02-21

TED


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

๋ฒˆ์—ญ: Jake Hong ๊ฒ€ํ† : K Bang
00:12
I'm going to talk to you tonight
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์˜ค๋Š˜๋ฐค ์ €๋Š” ์ปค๋ฐ์•„์›ƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด
00:14
about coming out of the closet,
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์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ ์ž ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:16
and not in the traditional sense,
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์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ์˜๋ฏธ๋กœ๋„
00:17
not just the gay closet.
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๋‹จ์ˆœํžˆ ๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž์˜ ์ปค๋ฐ์•„์›ƒ๋„ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:19
I think we all have closets.
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์ œ ์ƒ๊ฐ์—๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋‘ ๋น„๋ฐ€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:21
Your closet may be telling someone
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๊ทธ ๋น„๋ฐ€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์€
00:23
you love her for the first time,
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๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ์ฒซ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์ด์—ˆ์Œ์„ ๊ฐ์ถ”๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•˜๊ณ 
00:25
or telling someone that you're pregnant,
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์ž์‹ ์ด ์ž„์‹ ํ–ˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ
00:27
or telling someone you have cancer,
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๋˜๋Š” ์•”์— ๊ฑธ๋ ธ๋‹ค๋Š” ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ด๋‚˜
00:30
or any of the other hard conversations
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์ธ์ƒ์—์„œ ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๋Š” ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์ด๋“ 
00:32
we have throughout our lives.
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๊บผ๋‚ด๊ธฐ ํž˜๋“  ์–˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ์ถ”๊ณ  ์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:34
All a closet is is a hard conversation,
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋น„๋ฐ€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์ด ๋œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊บผ๋‚ด๊ธฐ ํž˜๋“  ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ด๊ณ 
00:38
and although our topics may vary tremendously,
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์ฃผ์ œ๋Š” ์—„์ฒญ๋‚˜๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค๋ฅผ์ง€๋ผ๋„
00:41
the experience of being in
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๋ฒฝ์žฅ ์•ˆ์— ๋น„๋ฐ€์„ ์ˆจ๊ธฐ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ฐ€
00:43
and coming out of the closet is universal.
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ํ„ธ์–ด๋†“๋Š” ์ผ์€ ๋ˆ„๊ตฌ๋“  ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ—˜์ด์ฃ .
00:46
It is scary, and we hate it, and it needs to be done.
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๋ฌด์„ญ๊ณ  ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์‹ซ์ง€๋งŒ ํ„ธ์–ด๋†”์•ผ ๋˜๋Š” ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:52
Several years ago,
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๋ช‡ ๋…„ ์ „์— ์ €๋Š”
00:53
I was working at the South Side Walnut Cafe,
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์ง€์—ญ ์Œ์‹์ ์ธ ์‚ฌ์šฐ์Šค ์‚ฌ์ด๋“œ ์›”๋„› ์นดํŽ˜์—์„œ
00:57
a local diner in town,
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์ผํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
00:59
and during my time there I would go through phases
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๊ทธ ๊ธฐ๊ฐ„ ๋™์•ˆ ์ €๋Š” ์ข…์ข… ๊ตฐ์ธ๊ฐ™์€ ์™ธ๋ชจ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง„ ์—ฌ์ž ๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž์˜
01:01
of militant lesbian intensity:
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๊ฐ•๋ ฌํ•œ ๋ชจ์Šต์„ ๋ณด์ด๊ณค ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:05
not shaving my armpits,
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๊ฒจ๋“œ๋ž‘์ด ํ„ธ์„ ๋ฉด๋„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ 
01:07
quoting Ani DiFranco lyrics as gospel.
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์• ๋‹ˆ ๋””ํ”„๋ž‘์ฝ”์˜ ๊ฐ€์‚ฌ๋ฅผ ์ฐฌ์†ก๊ฐ€์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ํฅ์–ผ๊ฑฐ๋ ธ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:10
And depending on the bagginess of my cargo shorts
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ฐ˜๋ฐ”์ง€๊ฐ€ ํ—๋ ํ•œ ์ •๋„์— ๋”ฐ๋ผ
01:13
and how recently I had shaved my head,
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๋˜ ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์ตœ๊ทผ์— ๋จธ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ€์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€์— ๋”ฐ๋ผ
01:15
the question would often be sprung on me,
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์ข…์ข… ๊ฐ‘์ž‘์Šค๋Ÿฐ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ๋ฐ›๊ณค ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:17
usually by a little kid:
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์ฃผ๋กœ ์–ด๋ฆฐ ์•„์ด๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ์„œ์˜€์ฃ :
01:19
"Um, are you a boy or are you a girl?"
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"์ €๊ธฐ, ๋‚จ์ž์˜ˆ์š”, ์—ฌ์ž์˜ˆ์š”?"
01:24
And there would be an awkward silence at the table.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋ฉด์„œ ํ…Œ์ด๋ธ” ์ฃผ์œ„๋กœ ๋ถˆํŽธํ•œ ์นจ๋ฌต์ด ๊ฐ๋Œ์ฃ .
01:27
I'd clench my jaw a little tighter,
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์ €๋Š” ์ž…์„ ๊ตณ๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค๋ฌผ๊ณ 
01:29
hold my coffee pot with a little more vengeance.
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์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ๋ณต์ˆ˜์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง„ ์ฑ„ ์ปคํ”ผ ์ฃผ์ „์ž๋ฅผ ์†์— ์ฅ๊ณคํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:32
The dad would awkwardly shuffle his newspaper
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๊ทธ ์•„์ด์˜ ์•„๋น ๋Š” ๋ถˆํŽธํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์‹ ๋ฌธ์„ ๋„˜๊ฒจ ์ œ๋ผ๊ณ 
01:35
and the mom would shoot a chilling stare at her kid.
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์•„์ด์˜ ์—„๋งˆ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋ฉด ์•ˆ๋œ๋‹ค๋Š” ์‹œ์„ ์„ ์•„์ด์—๊ฒŒ ๋˜์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:37
But I would say nothing,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ์ €๋Š” ์•„๋ฌด ๋ง๋„ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์ฃ .
01:39
and I would seethe inside.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์†์ด ๋“์–ด ์˜ค๋ฅด์ฃ .
01:41
And it got to the point where every time I walked up
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๋‚˜์ค‘์—๋Š” ์„ธ์‚ด์—์„œ 10์‚ด๋ฐฐ๊ธฐ ์•„์ด๋“ค์ด ์žˆ๋Š”
01:43
to a table that had a kid anywhere between three and 10 years old, I was ready to fight.
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ํ…Œ์ด๋ธ”๋กœ ๊ฐˆ๋•Œ๋งˆ๋‹ค ์‹ธ์šธ ์ค€๋น„๋ฅผ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:47
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
01:49
And that is a terrible feeling.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ •๋ง ์•ˆ์ข‹์€ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ๋“ค๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด์š”.
01:51
So I promised myself, the next time, I would say something.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ๋‹ค์Œ์—๋Š” ๋ญ๋ผ๋„ ๋ง์„ ํ•ด์ค„๊ฑฐ๋ผ๊ณ  ์Šค์Šค๋กœ์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค์งํ•˜๊ณค ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:55
I would have that hard conversation.
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๊ทธ ํž˜๋“  ์–˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ฒ ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋ง์ด์ฃ .
01:57
So within a matter of weeks, it happens again.
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๋ช‡์ฃผ๊ฐ€ ์ง€๋‚˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์ด ๋‹ค์‹œ ์ƒ๊น๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:00
"Are you a boy or are you a girl?"
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"๋‚จ์ž์˜ˆ์š”? ์—ฌ์ž์˜ˆ์š”?"
02:02
Familiar silence, but this time I'm ready,
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์ต์ˆ™ํ•œ ์นจ๋ฌต์ด ํ๋ฅด์ง€๋งŒ ์ด๋ฒˆ์—” ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ค€๋น„๋˜์–ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:05
and I am about to go all Women's Studies 101
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์ €๋Š” ์—ฌ์„ฑํ•™ ๊ฐ•์˜ ๊ธฐ์ดˆ๋ก ์„ ์ด ์•„์ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋Š” ํ…Œ์ด๋ธ”์—์„œ
02:09
on this table. (Laughter)
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๊ฐ•์˜ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ์ž์„ธ๋ฅผ ์žก์ฃ . (์›ƒ์Œ)
02:12
I've got my Betty Friedan quotes.
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๋ฒ ํ‹ฐ ํ”„๋ฆฌ๋˜์˜ ์–˜๊ธฐ๋„ ์ค€๋น„ํ–ˆ๊ณ 
02:14
I've got my Gloria Steinem quotes.
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๊ธ€๋กœ๋ฆฌ์•„ ์Šคํ…Œ์ด๋„ด์˜ ์–˜๊ธฐ๋„ ์ค€๋น„ํ–ˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ
02:16
I've even got this little bit from "Vagina Monologues" I'm going to do.
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์‹ฌ์ง€์–ด ์—ฐ๊ทน "๋ฒ„์ž์ด๋‚˜ ๋ชจ๋†€๋กœ๊ทธ"์˜ ๋Œ€์‚ฌ๋„ ์ค€๋น„ํ–ˆ์ฃ .
02:19
So I take a deep breath and I look down
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์ €๋Š” ๊นŠ์€ ์ˆจ์„ ๋“ค์ด์‰ฌ๊ณ  ๋‚ด๋ ค๋‹ค ๋ด…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:23
and staring back at me is a four-year-old girl in a pink dress,
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์ €๋ฅผ ์˜ฌ๋ ค๋‹ค ๋ณด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ถ„ํ™์ƒ‰ ์˜ท์„ ์ž…์€ ๋„ค์‚ด๋ฐฐ๊ธฐ ์—ฌ์ž ์•„์ด์—์š”.
02:27
not a challenge to a feminist duel,
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์—ฌ์„ฑ์ด๋ƒ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋”ฐ์ง€๋Š” ๊ฒฐํˆฌ ์‹ ์ฒญ์ด ์•„๋‹Œ
02:29
just a kid with a question:
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๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ์˜๋ฌธ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง„ ์•„์ด์ฃ :
02:32
"Are you a boy or are you a girl?"
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"๋‚จ์ž์˜ˆ์š”? ์—ฌ์ž์˜ˆ์š”?'
02:34
So I take another deep breath,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ๋‹ค์‹œ ํ•œ๋ฒˆ ์ˆจ์„ ๋“ค์ด์‰ฌ๊ณ 
02:36
squat down to next to her, and say,
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๊ทธ ์•„์ด ์˜†์— ์ชผ๊ทธ๋ ค ์•‰์•„์„œ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:37
"Hey, I know it's kind of confusing.
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"์•„๊ฐ€, ์ข€ ํ—ท๊ฐˆ๋ฆฌ์ง€?
02:39
My hair is short like a boy's,
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๋จธ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋‚จ์ž์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ์งง๊ณ 
02:41
and I wear boy's clothes, but I'm a girl,
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๋‚จ์ž ์˜ท์„ ์ž…์ง€๋งŒ ๋‚˜๋Š” ์—ฌ์ž๋ž€๋‹ค.
02:43
and you know how sometimes you like to wear a pink dress,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€๋”์€ ๋ถ„ํ™์ƒ‰ ์˜ท์„ ์ž…๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•˜๊ณ 
02:45
and sometimes you like to wear your comfy jammies?
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๋˜ ์–ด๋–ค ๋•Œ๋Š” ํŽธํ•œ ์ž ์˜ท์„ ์ž…๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•˜์ž–์•„?
02:48
Well, I'm more of a comfy jammies kind of girl."
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ถ„ํ™์ƒ‰ ์˜ท ๋ณด๋‹ค๋Š” ํŽธํ•œ ์ž ์˜ท์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” ์—ฌ์ž๋ž€๋‹ค."
02:52
And this kid looks me dead in the eye,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ์ž ๊ทธ ์•„์ด๋Š” ์ €์˜ ๋ˆˆ์„ ๋šซ์–ด์ ธ๋ผ ์ณ๋‹ค๋ณด๋ฉฐ
02:54
without missing a beat, and says,
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ง์— ์ฃผ์˜๋ฅผ ๊ธฐ์šธ์ด๋ฉด์„œ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:55
"My favorite pajamas are purple with fish.
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"์ €๋Š” ๋ฌผ๊ณ ๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ์ˆ˜ ๋†“์•„์ง„ ๋ณด๋ผ์ƒ‰ ์ž ์˜ท์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ด์š”.
02:57
Can I get a pancake, please?"
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ํŒฌ์ผ€์ต ์ข€ ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”."
02:59
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
03:02
And that was it. Just, "Oh, okay. You're a girl.
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๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ "์•„, ์—ฌ์ž๊ตฌ๋‚˜.
03:05
How about that pancake?"
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ํŒฌ์ผ€์ต์ด๋‚˜ ๋จน์„๊นŒ?."๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:08
It was the easiest hard conversation
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๊ทธ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋Š” ์ œ๊ฐ€ ํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊บผ๋‚ด๊ธฐ ํž˜์€ ๋Œ€ํ™” ์ค‘์—
03:10
I have ever had.
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๊ฐ€์žฅ ์‰ฌ์› ๋˜ ๋Œ€ํ™”์˜€์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:12
And why? Because Pancake Girl and I,
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์™œ์ผ๊นŒ์š”? ์ด์œ ๋Š” ๊ทธ ํŒฌ์ผ€์ต ์†Œ๋…€์™€ ์ €๋Š”
03:15
we were both real with each other.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋‘˜ ๋‹ค ์„œ๋กœ์—๊ฒŒ ์†”์งํ–ˆ๋˜๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
03:18
So like many of us,
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๊ทธ๋ ‡์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์ด ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ
03:20
I've lived in a few closets in my life, and yeah,
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์ €๋„ ์ธ์ƒ์„ ์‚ด๋ฉด์„œ ๋น„๋ฐ€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ ์†์—์„œ ๋ช‡ ๋ฒˆ์„ ์ง€๋ƒˆ์—ˆ๊ณ 
03:23
most often, my walls happened to be rainbow.
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๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„ ๊ทธ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ๋“ค์˜ ๋ฒฝ๋“ค์€ ๋ฌด์ง€๊ฐœ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ํ™”๋ คํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:25
But inside, in the dark,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ๋ฐ ์–ด๋‘  ์†์—์„œ๋Š”
03:27
you can't tell what color the walls are.
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๋ฒฝ์˜ ์ƒ‰๊น”์„ ๊ตฌ๋ถ„์กฐ์ฐจ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:29
You just know what it feels like to live in a closet.
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๋‹จ์ง€ ๋น„๋ฐ€์„ ๊ฐ„์งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‚ฐ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์–ด๋–ค ๋Š๋‚Œ์ธ์ง€ ๋Š๋‚„ ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:33
So really, my closet is no different than yours
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๊ทธ๋ ‡์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ €์˜ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๋“ค์˜ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ๊ณผ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ ์ด ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:36
or yours or yours.
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ํ˜น์€ ๋‹น์‹ , ๋˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ๊ณผ ๋น„๊ตํ•ด์„œ์š”.
03:39
Sure, I'll give you 100 reasons
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๋ฌผ๋ก  ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์—์„œ ์ปค๋ฐ์•„์›ƒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์—์„œ ์ปค๋ฐ์•„์›ƒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋ณด๋‹ค
03:41
why coming out of my closet was harder than coming out of yours,
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๋” ํž˜๋“  ์ผ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด 100๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ด์œ ๋ผ๋„ ๋“œ๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:43
but here's the thing: Hard is not relative.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜, ๋‹ต์€ ์ด๋ ‡์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค: ์–ด๋ ต๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋น„๊ต ๋Œ€์ƒ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ.
03:46
Hard is hard.
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์–ด๋ ค์šด ๊ฒƒ์€ ์–ด๋ ค์šด ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:48
Who can tell me that explaining to someone you've just declared bankruptcy
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ํŒŒ์‚ฐํ–ˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด
03:52
is harder than telling someone you just cheated on them?
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๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์†์˜€๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋” ํž˜๋“  ๊ฑฐ๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‚˜์š”?
03:54
Who can tell me that his coming out story
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์ปค๋ฐ์•„์›ƒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‹ค์„ฏ์‚ด ๋‚œ ์•„์ด์—๊ฒŒ
03:57
is harder than telling your five-year-old you're getting a divorce?
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์ดํ˜ผํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋” ํž˜๋“  ๊ฑฐ๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
03:59
There is no harder, there is just hard.
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๋” ํž˜๋“  ๊ฒƒ์€ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๋˜‘ ๊ฐ™์ด ํž˜๋“ ๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
04:03
We need to stop ranking our hard against everyone else's hard
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋” ์œ„์•ˆ ๋ฐ›์„์ง€, ๋” ๊ณ ํ†ต ๋ฐ›์„์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๋ฉด์„œ
04:06
to make us feel better or worse about our closets
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์ž์‹ ์˜ ๋น„๋ฐ€๊ณผ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ๋น„๋ฐ€ ์ค‘์— ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋” ํž˜๋“ ์ง€ ๋น„๊ตํ•˜์ง€ ๋ง์•„์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:09
and just commiserate on the fact that we all have hard.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋‘ ๋˜‘๊ฐ™์ด ํž˜๋“ค์–ด ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์œ„๋กœํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:13
At some point in our lives, we all live in closets,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋‘ ์–ธ์  ๊ฐ€ ํ•œ๋ฒˆ์€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์—์„œ ์‚ด๊ฒŒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:16
and they may feel safe,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ ๊ณณ์—์„œ ์•ˆ์ „ํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ ,
04:18
or at least safer than what lies on the other side of that door.
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ํ˜น์€ ์ตœ์†Œํ•œ ๋ฌธ ๋ฐ–์— ๋‚˜๊ฐ€์ง€๋งŒ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด ์•ˆ์ „ํ• ๊ฑฐ๋ผ๊ณ  ๋Š๊ผˆ์„์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:21
But I am here to tell you,
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:23
no matter what your walls are made of,
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ๋น„๋ฐ€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์˜ ๋ฒฝ์ด ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์œผ๋กœ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด์กŒ๋“ ์ง€ ๊ฐ„์—
04:25
a closet is no place for a person to live.
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๋ฒฝ์žฅ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์‚ด๊ณณ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:29
Thanks. (Applause)
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๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. (๋ฐ•์ˆ˜)
04:32
So imagine yourself 20 years ago.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๋„ ํ•œ๋ฒˆ 20๋…„ ์ „์œผ๋กœ ๊ฑฐ์Šฌ๋Ÿฌ ์˜ฌ๋ผ๊ฐ€๋ณด์ฃ .
04:36
Me, I had a ponytail, a strapless dress,
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์ €๋Š” ๋จธ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋ฌถ์—ˆ๊ณ  ์–ด๊นจ ๋ˆ์ด ์—†๋Š” ๋“œ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ์ž…๊ณ 
04:41
and high-heeled shoes.
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๊ตฝ ๋†’์€ ๊ตฌ๋‘๋ฅผ ์‹ ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
04:43
I was not the militant lesbian
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์ €๋Š” ๊ตฐ์ธ๊ฐ™์€ ์™ธ๋ชจ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ 
04:44
ready to fight any four-year-old that walked into the cafe.
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๋„ค์‚ด๋ฐฐ๊ธฐ ์•„์ด์™€ ์นดํŽ˜์—์„œ ์‹ธ์šธ ์ค€๋น„๋ฅผ ๋งˆ์นœ ๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:48
I was frozen by fear, curled up in the corner
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์ €๋Š” ์ œ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ์บ„์บ„ํ•œ ๋น„๋ฐ€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ ๊ตฌ์„์— ์ชผ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์•‰์•„
04:52
of my pitch-black closet
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๋‘๋ ค์›€์— ๋–จ๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:54
clutching my gay grenade,
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๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž๋ผ๋Š” ์ˆ˜๋ฅ˜ํƒ„์„ ์†์— ์ฅ๊ณ  ์žˆ์–ด์„œ
04:57
and moving one muscle is the scariest thing
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์•ฝ๊ฐ„์ด๋ผ๋„ ๋ชธ์„ ์›€์ง์ด๋ฉด
05:00
I have ever done.
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๋„ˆ๋ฌด๋‚˜ ๋ฌด์„œ์šด ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:03
My family, my friends, complete strangers --
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๊ฐ€์กฑ, ์นœ๊ตฌ, ์ €๋ฅผ ์ „ํ˜€ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊นŒ์ง€ ํฌํ•จํ•ด์„œ --
05:05
I had spent my entire life
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์ €๋Š” ์ด ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ์‹ค๋ง์‹œํ‚ค์ง€ ์•Š๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด
05:06
trying to not disappoint these people,
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์ธ์ƒ์„ ์‚ด๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ๋˜ ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:08
and now I was turning the world upside down
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ์ €๋Š” ์„ธ์ƒ์„ ์ œ ์˜์ง€์™€๋Š” ์ •๋ฐ˜๋Œ€๋กœ ๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:11
on purpose.
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์ผ๋ถ€๋Ÿฌ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋Š” ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:13
I was burning the pages of the script
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์ €๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ชจ๋‘๊ฐ€ ์˜ค๋žœ ๋™์•ˆ ๋”ฐ๋ฅด๋˜
05:15
we had all followed for so long,
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๊ทœ์น™์ด๋ผ๋Š” ์ฑ…์žฅ์„ ํƒœ์šฐ๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:17
but if you do not throw that grenade, it will kill you.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ ์ˆ˜๋ฅ˜ํƒ„์„ ๋˜์ง€์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด ์ž๊ธฐ ์ž์‹ ์ด ์ฃฝ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:21
One of my most memorable grenade tosses
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๊ฐ€์žฅ ๊ธฐ์–ต์— ๋‚จ๋Š” ์ˆ˜๋ฅ˜ํƒ„ ํˆฌ์ฒ™์€
05:23
was at my sister's wedding.
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์ œ ์–ธ๋‹ˆ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผ์‹์—์„œ ์˜€์ฃ .
05:25
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
05:27
It was the first time that many in attendance
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์ฐธ์„์ž๋“ค ์ค‘ ๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€
05:30
knew I was gay, so in doing my maid of honor duties,
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ทธ๋‚  ์ฒ˜์Œ ์•Œ์•˜๊ณ  ์ €๋Š” ์‹ ๋ถ€ ๋“ค๋Ÿฌ๋ฆฌ๋กœ
05:33
in my black dress and heels,
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๊ฒ€์ •์ƒ‰ ์˜์ƒ๊ณผ ๊ตฝ๋†’์€ ๊ตฌ๋‘๋ฅผ ์‹ ๊ณ 
05:35
I walked around to tables
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ํ…Œ์ด๋ธ” ์‚ฌ์ด๋ฅผ ๋Œ์•„๋‹ค๋…”์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:37
and finally landed on a table of my parents' friends,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ ์ €๋ฅผ ์˜ค๋žœ ๋™์•ˆ ์•Œ๊ณ  ๊ณ„์…จ๋˜ ๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜ ์นœ๊ตฌ๋ถ„๋“ค์˜
05:39
folks that had known me for years.
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ํ…Œ์ด๋ธ”์— ์•‰์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:42
And after a little small talk, one of the women shouted out,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ช‡๋งˆ๋””๊ฐ€ ์˜ค๊ฐ„ ํ›„ ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ ์žˆ๋˜ ์—ฌ์„ฑ ํ•œ ๋ถ„์ด ์†Œ๋ฆฌ์ณค์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:45
"I love Nathan Lane!"
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"๋‚œ ๋„ค์ดํƒ„ ๋ ˆ์ธ์„ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•ด!"
05:48
And the battle of gay relatability had begun.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋™์„ฑ์• ์™€ ๊ด€๋ จ๋œ ์žฅ์†Œ์™€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค ์–˜๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ์‹œ์ž‘๋˜์—ˆ์ฃ .
05:51
"Ash, have you ever been to the Castro?"
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"์• ์‰ฌ, ์นด์ŠคํŠธ๋กœ์— ๊ฐ€๋ณธ์  ์žˆ์–ด?"
05:53
"Well, yeah, actually, we have friends in San Francisco."
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"๋„ค, ๊ฐ€๋ณธ ์  ์žˆ์–ด์š”. ์ƒŒํ”„๋ž€์‹œ์Šค์ฝ”์— ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ฑฐ๋“ ์š”."
05:55
"Well, we've never been there but we've heard it's fabulous."
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"์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฐ€๋ณธ ์ ์€ ์—†์ง€๋งŒ ๋ฉ‹์ง„ ์žฅ์†Œ๋ผ๊ณ  ๋“ค์—ˆ์–ด."
05:58
"Ash, do you know my hairdresser Antonio?
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"์• ์‰ฌ, ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€๋Š” ๋ฏธ์šฉ์‹ค์— ๋ฏธ์šฉ์‚ฌ ์•ˆํ† ๋‹ˆ์˜ค ์•Œ์•„?
06:00
He's really good and he has never talked about a girlfriend."
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๋จธ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ž˜ ํ•˜๋Š”๋ฐ, ์—ฌ์ž ์นœ๊ตฌ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด์„œ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฑธ ๋“ค์–ด ๋ณธ ์ ์ด ์—†์–ด."
06:03
"Ash, what's your favorite TV show?
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"์• ์‰ฌ, ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” TV ์‡ผ๊ฐ€ ๋ญ์•ผ?
06:05
Our favorite TV show? Favorite: Will & Grace.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” TV ์‡ผ๋Š” ์œŒ๊ณผ ๊ทธ๋ ˆ์ด์Šค์•ผ.
06:07
And you know who we love? Jack.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ์žญ์ด๊ณ .
06:08
Jack is our favorite."
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์žญ์„ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ด."
06:10
And then one woman, stumped
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚˜์„œ ํ•œ ์—ฌ์ž๊ฐ€ ์–ด์ฉ” ์ค„ ๋ชฐ๋ผํ•˜๋ฉฐ
06:13
but wanting so desperately to show her support,
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์ €๋ฅผ ์ง€์ง€ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•„์‚ฌ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๋ฉฐ
06:15
to let me know she was on my side,
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์ž์‹ ์ด ์ œ ํŽธ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ‘œ์‹œํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ 
06:18
she finally blurted out,
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์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋‚ด๋ฑ‰์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:19
"Well, sometimes my husband wears pink shirts."
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"์ œ ๋‚จํŽธ์€ ๊ฐ€๋” ๋ถ„ํ™์ƒ‰ ์…”์ธ ๋ฅผ ์ž…์–ด์š”."
06:23
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
06:25
And I had a choice in that moment,
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๊ทธ ์ˆœ๊ฐ„ ์ €๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์ˆ˜๋ฅ˜ํƒ„์„ ๋˜์ง€๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๋ ‡๋“ฏ์ด
06:27
as all grenade throwers do.
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์„ ํƒ์˜ ์—ฌ์ง€๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:29
I could go back to my girlfriend and my gay-loving table
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์ €๋Š” ์ œ ์—ฌ์ž ์นœ๊ตฌ์™€ ๋™์„ฑ์•  ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ํ…Œ์ด๋ธ”๋กœ ๋Œ์•„๊ฐ€์„œ
06:33
and mock their responses,
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์˜ ๋ฐ˜์‘์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋น„์›ƒ๊ณ 
06:35
chastise their unworldliness and their inability
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๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ํŽธํ˜‘์„ฑ๊ณผ ์ •์น˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ์˜ณ์€ ์ €์˜ ๋™์„ฑ์•  ์„ฑํ–ฅ์ด
06:37
to jump through the politically correct gay hoops I had brought with me,
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์ ์ ˆํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ˆ˜์šฉ๋˜์ง€ ๋ชปํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด์„œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๋น„ํŒํ–ˆ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๊ณ 
06:40
or I could empathize with them
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด, ๊ทธ๋“ค๊ณผ ๊ณต๊ฐ์„ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋ฉด์„œ
06:43
and realize that that was maybe one of the hardest things they had ever done,
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์ €์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์‚ด๋ฉด์„œ ๊ฒช์€ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ํž˜๋“  ์ผ์ผ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์—ˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ
06:47
that starting and having that conversation
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์ €์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆˆ ๊ฒƒ์ด
06:50
was them coming out of their closets.
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๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์žˆ์–ด์„œ๋Š” ์ปค๋ฐ์•„์›ƒ์ด์—ˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊นจ๋‹ฌ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์—ˆ๊ฒ ์ง€์š”.
06:52
Sure, it would have been easy to point out where they felt short.
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๋ฌผ๋ก  ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋ถˆํŽธํ•ด ํ–ˆ๋˜ ์ ์„ ์ง€์ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ข€ ๋” ์‰ฌ์› ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:56
It's a lot harder to meet them where they are
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๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์˜ ์ž…์žฅ์„ ์ดํ•ดํ•˜๊ณ 
06:58
and acknowledge the fact that they were trying.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•„๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„์ฃผ ๋” ํž˜๋“  ์ผ์ด๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
07:00
And what else can you ask someone to do but try?
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•˜๋ผ๋Š” ๋ง ์™ธ์— ์–ด๋–ค ๋ง์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
07:05
If you're going to be real with someone,
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์ง„์‹ฌ์œผ๋กœ ๋Œ€ํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ  ํ•œ๋ฉด
07:07
you gotta be ready for real in return.
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์ง„์‹ฌ์ด ๋˜๋Œ์•„์˜ฌ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ์ ์„ ์•„์…”์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:11
So hard conversations are still not my strong suit.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์š”, ์•„์ง ์ €๋Š” ํž˜๋“  ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์†Œํ™”ํ•˜์ง„ ๋ชปํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:14
Ask anybody I have ever dated.
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ ํ–ˆ๋˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณด๋ฉด ์•„์‹ค๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:16
But I'm getting better, and I follow what I like to call
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ €๋Š” ๋‚˜์•„์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ํŒฌ์ผ€์ต ์†Œ๋…€ ๋ฒ•์น™์ด๋ผ ๋ถ€๋ฅด๋Š”
07:19
the three Pancake Girl principles.
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์„ธ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฒ•์น™์„ ๋”ฐ๋ฅด๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:21
Now, please view this through gay-colored lenses,
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์ž, ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์ด ๋ฒ•์น™์„ ๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž์˜ ์ž…์žฅ์—์„œ ์ดํ•ดํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
07:25
but know what it takes to come out of any closet
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ์–ด๋–ค ๋น„๋ฐ€ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์—์„œ ๋‚˜์˜ค๋”๋ผ๋„
07:28
is essentially the same.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทผ๋ณธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋ชจ๋‘ ๊ฐ™๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ์•„๋‘์„ธ์š”.
07:30
Number one: Be authentic.
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์ฒซ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์›์น™: ์ง„์‹ฌ์œผ๋กœ.
07:33
Take the armor off. Be yourself.
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๋ฐฉ์–ด๋ง‰์„ ๊ฑท๊ณ  ์ž์‹  ์ž์‹  ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ์˜ ๋ชจ์Šต์„ ๋ณด์ด์„ธ์š”.
07:34
That kid in the cafe had no armor,
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๊ทธ ์นดํŽ˜์˜ ์†Œ๋…€๋Š” ์•„๋ฌด๋Ÿฐ ๋ฐฉ์–ด๋ง‰๋„ ์—†์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:36
but I was ready for battle.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์‹ธ์šฐ๋ ค ํ–ˆ์ฃ .
07:38
If you want someone to be real with you,
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์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ ์ง„์‹ฌ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๊ธธ ์›ํ•˜์‹ ๋‹ค๋ฉด,
07:41
they need to know that you bleed too.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๋„ ์ƒ์ฒ˜ ์ž…๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ค˜์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:44
Number two: Be direct. Just say it. Rip the Band-Aid off.
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๋‘๋ฒˆ์งธ ์›์น™: ์ง์ ‘์ ์œผ๋กœ. ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๋งํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ์ผํšŒ์šฉ ๋ฐ˜์ฐฝ๊ณ ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ํ™• ๋–ผ์–ด ๋‚ด์„ธ์š”.
07:47
If you know you are gay, just say it.
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๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž๋ผ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
07:50
If you tell your parents you might be gay,
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๋งŒ์•ฝ ๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜์—๊ฒŒ ์ž์‹ ์ด ๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž์ผ์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฅธ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•˜๋ฉด
07:51
they will hold out hope that this will change.
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๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜๋“ค์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ณ€ํ• ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ํฌ๋ง์„ ๊ฐ–๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:53
Do not give them that sense of false hope.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ž˜๋ชป๋œ ํฌ๋ง์„ ์ฃผ์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
07:56
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
07:58
And number three, and most important --
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์„ธ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋กœ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ..
08:03
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:05
Be unapologetic.
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์‚ฌ๊ณผํ•˜๋Š” ํˆฌ๋กœ ๋งํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
08:09
You are speaking your truth.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:11
Never apologize for that.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ์‚ฌ๊ณผํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
08:15
And some folks may have gotten hurt along the way,
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๊ทธ๊ฑธ๋กœ ์ธํ•ด ์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์ƒ์ฒ˜๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:17
so sure, apologize for what you've done,
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๋ฌผ๋ก  ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—, ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ํ•œ ํ–‰๋™์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์‚ฌ๊ณผ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๋˜
08:20
but never apologize for who you are.
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์ž์‹ ์ด ์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ธ์ง€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด์„œ๋Š” ์ ˆ๋Œ€๋กœ ์‚ฌ๊ณผํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
08:23
And yeah, some folks may be disappointed,
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๋„ค, ์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์‹ค๋งํ•˜๊ฒ ์ฃ .
08:26
but that is on them, not on you.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์‹ค๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์ง€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์‹ค๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฑด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:29
Those are their expectations of who you are, not yours.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด์–ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ธฐ๋Œ€๋กœ ์ธํ•œ ์‹ค๋ง์ผ๋ฟ ๊ทธ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€๋Š” ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ๋งŒ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:31
That is their story, not yours.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์€ ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์˜ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ์ผ๋ฟ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:36
The only story that matters
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๋‹จ ํ•œ๊ฐ€์ง€์˜ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋Š”
08:37
is the one that you want to write.
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๋ฐ”๋กœ ์ž์‹ ์ด ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๋Š” ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:40
So the next time you find yourself
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—, ๋‹ค์Œ๋ฒˆ์— ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด
08:42
in a pitch-black closet clutching your grenade,
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์ˆ˜๋ฅ˜ํƒ„์„ ์ฅ๊ณ  ์ปด์ปดํ•œ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์†์— ์ชผ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์Šค์Šค๋กœ๋ฅผ ๋ฐœ๊ฒฌํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋˜๋ฉด
08:44
know we have all been there before.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ชจ๋‘๊ฐ€ ํ•œ๋ฒˆ์ฏค์€ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ƒํ™ฉ์— ์žˆ์–ด๋ดค๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
08:48
And you may feel so very alone, but you are not.
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ํ˜ผ์ž๋ผ๊ณ  ๋Š๋‚„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:51
And we know it's hard but we need you out here,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ํž˜๋“ค๊ฒ ์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋‚˜์™€์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:54
no matter what your walls are made of,
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์˜ ๋ฒฝ์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์œผ๋กœ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด์กŒ๋˜ ๊ฐ„์— ์ƒ๊ด€์—†์ด์š”.
08:57
because I guarantee you there are others
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์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์žฅ๋‹ดํ•˜๊ฑด๋ฐ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์— ๊ฐ‡ํ˜€ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€
08:59
peering through the keyholes of their closets
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๋„ ๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์†์— ๊ฐ‡ํ˜€ ์—ด์‡  ๊ตฌ๋ฉ์„ ํ†ตํ•ด ๋ฐ”๊นฅ์„ ํ˜๋‚๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:01
looking for the next brave soul to bust a door open, so be that person
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์–ด๋–ค ์šฉ๊ฐํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋จผ์ € ๋ฒฝ์žฅ ๋ฌธ์„ ๋ฐ•์ฐจ๊ณ  ๋‚˜์˜ค๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋ฉด์„œ์š”. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ๋จผ์ € ๋ฐ•์ฐจ๊ณ  ๋‚˜์˜ค์„ธ์š”.
09:05
and show the world that we are bigger than our closets
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์„ธ์ƒ์„ ํ–ฅํ•ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ฒฝ์žฅ๋ณด๋‹ค ํฌ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„
09:08
and that a closet is no place for a person
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ฒฝ์žฅ์€ ์ง„์ •์ฝ” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์‚ด๊ณณ์ด
09:12
to truly live.
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
09:13
Thank you, Boulder. Enjoy your night. (Applause)
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๋ณผ๋” ์‚ฌํšŒ์— ๊ฐ์‚ฌ๋“œ๋ฆฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์šด ์ €๋… ๋˜์„ธ์š”. (๋ฐ•์ˆ˜)
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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