Maria Bezaitis: The surprising need for strangeness

125,500 views ・ 2013-05-14

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Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast
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"Don't talk to strangers."
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You have heard that phrase uttered
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by your friends, family, schools and the media for decades.
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It's a norm. It's a social norm.
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But it's a special kind of social norm,
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because it's a social norm that wants to tell us
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who we can relate to and who we shouldn't relate to.
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"Don't talk to strangers" says,
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"Stay from anyone who's not familiar to you.
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Stick with the people you know.
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Stick with people like you."
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How appealing is that?
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It's not really what we do, is it, when we're at our best?
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When we're at our best, we reach out to people
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who are not like us,
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because when we do that, we learn from people
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who are not like us.
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My phrase for this value of being with "not like us"
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is "strangeness,"
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and my point is that in today's digitally intensive world,
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strangers are quite frankly not the point.
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The point that we should be worried about is,
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how much strangeness are we getting?
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Why strangeness? Because our social relations
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are increasingly mediated by data,
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and data turns our social relations into digital relations,
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and that means that our digital relations
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now depend extraordinarily on technology
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to bring to them a sense of robustness,
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a sense of discovery,
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a sense of surprise and unpredictability.
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Why not strangers?
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Because strangers are part of a world
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of really rigid boundaries.
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They belong to a world of people I know
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versus people I don't know,
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and in the context of my digital relations,
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I'm already doing things with people I don't know.
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The question isn't whether or not I know you.
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The question is, what can I do with you?
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What can I learn with you?
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What can we do together that benefits us both?
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I spend a lot of time thinking about
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how the social landscape is changing,
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how new technologies create new constraints
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and new opportunities for people.
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The most important changes facing us today
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have to do with data and what data is doing
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to shape the kinds of digital relations
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that will be possible for us in the future.
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The economies of the future depend on that.
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Our social lives in the future depend on that.
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The threat to worry about isn't strangers.
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The threat to worry about is whether or not
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we're getting our fair share of strangeness.
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Now, 20th-century psychologists and sociologists
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were thinking about strangers,
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but they weren't thinking so dynamically about human relations,
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and they were thinking about strangers
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in the context of influencing practices.
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Stanley Milgram from the '60s and '70s,
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the creator of the small-world experiments,
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which became later popularized as six degrees of separation,
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made the point that any two arbitrarily selected people
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were likely connected from between five to seven intermediary steps.
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His point was that strangers are out there.
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We can reach them. There are paths
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that enable us to reach them.
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Mark Granovetter, Stanford sociologist, in 1973
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in his seminal essay "The Strength of Weak Ties,"
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made the point that these weak ties
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that are a part of our networks, these strangers,
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are actually more effective at diffusing information to us
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than are our strong ties, the people closest to us.
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He makes an additional indictment of our strong ties
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when he says that these people who are so close to us,
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these strong ties in our lives,
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actually have a homogenizing effect on us.
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They produce sameness.
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My colleagues and I at Intel have spent the last few years
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looking at the ways in which digital platforms
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are reshaping our everyday lives,
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what kinds of new routines are possible.
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We've been looking specifically at the kinds
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of digital platforms that have enabled us
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to take our possessions, those things that used to be
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very restricted to us and to our friends in our houses,
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and to make them available to people we don't know.
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Whether it's our clothes, whether it's our cars,
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whether it's our bikes, whether it's our books or music,
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we are able to take our possessions now
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and make them available to people we've never met.
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And we concluded a very important insight,
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which was that as people's relationships
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to the things in their lives change,
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so do their relations with other people.
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And yet recommendation system
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after recommendation system continues to miss the boat.
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It continues to try to predict what I need
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based on some past characterization of who I am,
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of what I've already done.
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Security technology after security technology
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continues to design data protection
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in terms of threats and attacks,
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keeping me locked into really rigid kinds of relations.
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Categories like "friends" and "family"
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and "contacts" and "colleagues"
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don't tell me anything about my actual relations.
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A more effective way to think about my relations
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might be in terms of closeness and distance,
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where at any given point in time, with any single person,
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I am both close and distant from that individual,
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all as a function of what I need to do right now.
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People aren't close or distant.
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People are always a combination of the two,
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and that combination is constantly changing.
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What if technologies could intervene
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to disrupt the balance of certain kinds of relationships?
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What if technologies could intervene
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to help me find the person that I need right now?
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Strangeness is that calibration
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of closeness and distance
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that enables me to find the people that I need right now,
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that enables me to find the sources of intimacy,
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of discovery, and of inspiration that I need right now.
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Strangeness is not about meeting strangers.
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It simply makes the point that we need
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to disrupt our zones of familiarity.
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So jogging those zones of familiarity is one way to think about strangeness,
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and it's a problem faced not just by individuals today,
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but also by organizations,
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organizations that are trying to embrace massively new opportunities.
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Whether you're a political party
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insisting to your detriment on a very rigid notion
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of who belongs and who does not,
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whether you're the government
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protecting social institutions like marriage
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and restricting access of those institutions to the few,
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whether you're a teenager in her bedroom
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who's trying to jostle her relations with her parents,
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strangeness is a way to think about how we pave the way
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to new kinds of relations.
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We have to change the norms.
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We have to change the norms in order to enable
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new kinds of technologies
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as a basis for new kinds of businesses.
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What interesting questions lie ahead for us
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in this world of no strangers?
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How might we think differently about our relations with people?
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How might we think differently about our relations
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with distributed groups of people?
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How might we think differently about our relations with technologies,
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things that effectively become social participants
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in their own right?
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The range of digital relations is extraordinary.
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In the context of this broad range of digital relations,
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safely seeking strangeness might very well be
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a new basis for that innovation.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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