Islamophobia killed my brother. Let's end the hate | Suzanne Barakat

譯者: Qi Ruan 審譯者: Ellen Tung

Last year,

去年，

three of my family members were gruesomely murdered

我的三個家庭成員

在一場仇恨犯罪中被殺害了。

in a hate crime.

It goes without saying that it's really difficult

當然，

今天我站在這裡 對我來說是非常困難的。

for me to be here today,

but my brother Deah,

但是我的弟弟，迪亞，

his wife Yusor,

和他的妻子，雨瑟，

and her sister Razan

和她的姊姊，拉贊

don't give me much of a choice.

沒有給我太多的選擇。

I'm hopeful that by the end of this talk you will make a choice,

我希望當這場演講結束後，

你會做出決定，和我一起打擊仇恨。

and join me in standing up against hate.

It's December 27, 2014:

2014 年 12 月 17 號，

the morning of my brother's wedding day.

我弟弟婚禮那天的早上，

He asks me to come over and comb his hair

他叫我幫他梳頭髮，

in preparation for his wedding photo shoot.

好為他的婚紗照做準備。

A 23-year-old, six-foot-three basketball, particularly Steph Curry, fanatic --

一個 23 歲的，190 公分高， 史蒂芬·柯瑞的瘋狂粉絲──

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

An American kid in dental school ready to take on the world.

一個準備好進軍世界， 在牙醫學院學習的美國學生。

When Deah and Yusor have their first dance,

當迪亞和雨瑟開舞的時候，

I see the love in his eyes,

我看到他眼中的愛，

her reciprocated joy,

她回應給他的歡樂，

and my emotions begin to overwhelm me.

我的情緒開始湧了上來。

I move to the back of the hall and burst into tears.

我走到了走廊的後面 忍不住開始大哭起來。

And the second the song finishes playing,

當歌放完後，

he beelines towards me,

他立刻徑直走向我，

buries me into his arms

把我抱在他懷裡，

and rocks me back and forth.

然後輕輕的搖動我。

Even in that moment,

即使那個時候，

when everything was so distracting,

當所有的事情都那麼讓人分心，

he was attuned to me.

他還是對我如此細心。

He cups my face and says,

他捧起了我的臉

然後說：「蘇珊，

"Suzanne,

I am who I am because of you.

我會有今天的成就都是因為你。

Thank you for everything.

謝謝妳。

I love you."

我愛妳。」

About a month later, I'm back home in North Carolina for a short visit,

大約一個月後，我短暫的 回到北卡羅萊納的家裡。

and on the last evening, I run upstairs to Deah's room,

在最後的那個晚上， 我跑上迪亞的房間，

eager to find out how he's feeling being a newly married man.

心急的想知道他對婚後有什麼感覺。

With a big boyish smile he says,

他臉上掛著大男孩的微笑，

說：「我好開心。我愛她。 她是一名非常優秀的女孩。」

"I'm so happy. I love her. She's an amazing girl."

And she is.

她的確是。

At just 21, she'd recently been accepted to join Deah

僅僅 21 歲，她被 迪亞所在的北卡羅萊納

at UNC dental school.

牙醫學院錄取了。

She shared his love for basketball, and at her urging,

她和他一樣愛籃球。她說服了他

they started their honeymoon off attending their favorite team of the NBA,

在他們蜜月時一起去觀看 他們最喜歡的 NBA 籃球隊，

the LA Lakers.

洛杉磯湖人。

I mean, check out that form.

不是我說，你看看這個。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I'll never forget that moment sitting there with him --

我永遠也不會忘記 和他坐在一起的時候，

how free he was in his happiness.

他沈浸在幸福裡所帶來的自由。

My littler brother, a basketball-obsessed kid,

我的弟弟，一個狂熱的籃球粉絲，

had become and transformed into an accomplished young man.

已經轉變成了 一個頗有成就的男人了。

He was at the top of his dental school class,

他在他班中名列前茅。

and alongside Yusor and Razan,

他還和雨瑟和拉贊一起，

was involved in local and international community service projects

一起參與了本地和國際性的 為難民和無家可歸的人

dedicated to the homeless and refugees,

社區服務項目。

including a dental relief trip they were planning

其中包括了一個去土耳其

for Syrian refugees in Turkey.

幫助敘利亞難民的牙醫救濟之旅。

Razan, at just 19,

拉贊，在僅僅十九歲，

used her creativity as an architectural engineering student

運用了他作為一名 建築工程學生的創意

to serve those around her,

去為她身邊的人服務：

making care packages for the local homeless,

為當地無家可歸的人做急救包，

among other projects.

和其他項目。

That is who they were.

這就是他們。

Standing there that night,

那天晚上，我站在迪亞面前，

I take a deep breath and look at Deah and tell him,

我深呼吸了一下，看著他告訴他：

"I have never been more proud of you than I am in this moment."

「我從來沒像現在這樣 為你感到如此驕傲。」

He pulls me into his tall frame,

他把我一把抱進他懷裡，

hugs me goodnight,

抱著我說了晚安。

and I leave the next morning without waking him

我第二天早上沒有吵醒他，

to go back to San Francisco.

回去了舊金山。

That is the last time I ever hug him.

那是我最後一次抱他。

Ten days later, I'm on call at San Francisco General Hospital

十天後，當我在 舊金山總醫院待命時，

when I receive a barrage of vague text messages expressing condolences.

我接到了一堆語意含糊的 哀悼和慰問信息。

Confused, I call my father, who calmly intones,

我帶著疑問打給了我父親。

"There's been a shooting in Deah's neighborhood in Chapel Hill.

他冷靜的告訴我：「在教堂山， 迪亞家附近，有一起槍擊案。

It's on lock-down. That's all we know."

現在被封鎖了。我們只知道這麼多。」

I hang up and quickly Google, "shooting in Chapel Hill."

我掛斷了電話後馬上用谷歌 搜索「教堂山槍擊事件。」

One hit comes up.

我看到了一個熱搜。

Quote:

上面說：「現場有

"Three people were shot in the back of the head

三個人被射中後腦勺，

and confirmed dead on the scene."

在現場已確認死亡。」

Something in me just knows.

我好像突然就想明白了。

I fling out of my chair and faint onto the gritty hospital floor,

我一陣眩暈，從椅子上 摔倒在醫院冰冷的地板上，

wailing.

哭號著。

I take the first red-eye out of San Francisco,

我低落得不能自已， 坐上了第一個出舊金山的過夜班機。

numb and disoriented.

I walk into my childhood home and faint into my parents' arms,

我走進了我童年的家， 然後倒在我父母的手臂中大哭。

sobbing.

我跟著跑上迪亞的房間， 就像我之前那樣，

I then run up to Deah's room as I did so many times before,

just looking for him,

尋找他在哪。

但我只找到一個 再也不會被填滿的房間。

only to find a void that will never be filled.

Investigation and autopsy reports eventually revealed

調查報告和驗屍報告最終揭示了

整件事情的發生過程。

the sequence of events.

迪亞剛從上課回來的巴士上下來，

Deah had just gotten off the bus from class,

Razan was visiting for dinner,

拉贊來參加他們的晚餐，

already at home with Yusor.

和雨瑟一起在家。

As they began to eat, they heard a knock on the door.

正當他們開始吃飯時， 他們聽到了敲門聲。

When Deah opened it,

迪亞打開門時，

他們的鄰居對他開了好幾槍。

their neighbor proceeded to fire multiple shots at him.

According to 911 calls,

根據警察的通話紀錄，

the girls were heard screaming.

有人聽到女孩們尖叫。

The man turned towards the kitchen and fired a single shot into Yusor's hip,

那個男人轉向了廚房， 然後對雨瑟的臀部開了一槍，

使她不能移動。

immobilizing her.

He then approached her from behind,

然後他從她的後面接近她，

pressed the barrel of his gun against her head,

用槍管頂住她的頭，

然後用一顆子彈，撕裂了她的中腦。

and with a single bullet, lacerated her midbrain.

He then turned towards Razan, who was screaming for her life,

他又轉向正在 用盡全身力氣尖叫的拉贊，

and, execution-style, with a single bullet

用行刑的方式，一顆子彈

to the back of the head,

打中後腦，

killed her.

奪走了她生命。

On his way out,

在他出去的路上，

he shot Deah one last time -- a bullet in the mouth --

他又對迪亞開了最後一槍，在嘴裡。

for a total of eight bullets:

他總共用了八發子彈：

兩發留在頭部，

two lodged in the head,

two in his chest

兩發在他的胸部，

and the rest in his extremities.

剩下的在他的四肢中。

Deah, Yusor and Razan were executed

迪亞和雨瑟和拉贊在家被殺害了， 一個對他們來說最安全的地方。

in a place that was meant to be safe: their home.

For months, this man had been harassing them:

好幾個月以來， 這個男人一直在騷擾他們：

knocking on their door,

敲他們的門，

brandishing his gun on a couple of occasions.

還在一些情況中揮舞著他的槍。

His Facebook was cluttered with anti-religion posts.

他的臉書充滿了反宗教的貼文。

Yusor felt particularly threatened by him.

雨瑟對他感到特別的威脅感。

As she was moving in,

當她搬入時，

he told Yusor and her mom that he didn't like the way they looked.

這個男人告訴雨瑟和她的媽媽， 他不喜歡她們的樣子。

In response, Yusor's mom told her to be kind to her neighbor,

作為回答，雨瑟的媽媽 要她善良的對待鄰居。

that as he got to know them,

當他認識他們之後，

he'd see them for who they were.

他會更深入的了解他們的為人。

我猜是因為我們對仇恨已經麻木了，

I guess we've all become so numb to the hatred

that we couldn't have ever imagined it turning into fatal violence.

所以我們從來沒有想過 仇恨會變成致命的暴力。

The man who murdered my brother turned himself in to the police

那個殺害了我弟弟的男人 在事情發生不久後

shortly after the murders,

去警察局自首了。

saying he killed three kids,

他說他因為停車的爭論，

以行刑的方式，

execution-style,

殺害了三個小孩。

over a parking dispute.

The police issued a premature public statement that morning,

警察在那個早上發布了 一份倉促的公開聲明，

重複他所聲稱的。

echoing his claims without bothering to question it

他們並沒有做更多的提問或調查，

or further investigate.

It turns out there was no parking dispute.

最後才發現並沒有任何因為 停車而發起的爭執。

There was no argument.

並沒有發生任何爭吵，

No violation.

沒有任何違規行為。

But the damage was already done.

但是造成的傷害已經無法逆轉了。

In a 24-hour media cycle,

在 24 小時播放的傳媒裡，

「停車引發的爭執」 已經成為絕對的關鍵詞了。

the words "parking dispute" had already become the go-to sound bite.

I sit on my brother's bed and remember his words,

我坐在我弟弟的床上， 想起他說過的話。

the words he gave me so freely and with so much love,

他對我說過的話 是那麼的自由而且充滿愛，

「我會有今天的成就都是因為你。」

"I am who I am because of you."

That's what it takes for me to climb through my crippling grief

就是這句話幫助了我度過了 難以承受的悲傷和站出來發言。

and speak out.

我不能讓我家人的死亡被忽視成

I cannot let my family's deaths be diminished to a segment

that is barely discussed on local news.

一個連本地新聞都極少談起的小事。

They were murdered by their neighbor because of their faith,

他們是因為他們信仰而被鄰居殺害，

因為一塊他們套在頭上的一塊部，

because of a piece of cloth they chose to don on their heads,

because they were visibly Muslim.

因為人們能看出來他們是穆斯林。

我當時感到生氣的是，

Some of the rage I felt at the time

was that if roles were reversed,

假如角色調換了，

and an Arab, Muslim or Muslim-appearing person

一位阿拉伯人，穆斯林， 或者看似穆斯林的人，

在三個美國白人大學生家內

had killed three white American college students execution-style,

以殘忍的行刑手法殺害了他們。

in their home,

what would we have called it?

我們會怎麼形容這種事情？

一次恐怖襲擊。

A terrorist attack.

When white men commit acts of violence in the US,

當白人在美國行使暴力行為時，

they're lone wolves,

他們是孤狼，

mentally ill

患有精神疾病，

or driven by a parking dispute.

或者是停車爭執而導致的。

I know that I have to give my family voice,

我知道我必須幫我的家人 發表他們的想法。

and I do the only thing I know how:

我唯一知道如何去做的事是：

我給所有我知道在媒體業 工作的朋友發了一條臉書信息。

I send a Facebook message to everyone I know in media.

幾個小時後，

A couple of hours later,

in the midst of a chaotic house overflowing with friends and family,

在充滿了朋友和家人 而鬧哄哄的家裡，

our neighbor Neal comes over, sits down next to my parents

我們的鄰居，尼奧來了。 他坐在我父母的旁邊，

and asks, "What can I do?"

問：「我能做些什麼？」

Neal had over two decades of experience in journalism,

尼奧有超過二十年做記者的經驗，

but he makes it clear that he's not there in his capacity as journalist,

但是他清楚的告訴我們他今天 不能運用他作為記者的權利，

but as a neighbor who wants to help.

但是可以用鄰居的身分幫助我們。

I ask him what he thinks we should do,

我問他我們下一步應該怎麼做，

因為所有本地媒體 都像轟炸般想訪問我們。

given the bombardment of local media interview requests.

He offers to set up a press conference at a local community center.

他提出建議我們在本地的 社區中心舉行一次媒體發布會。

Even now I don't have the words to thank him.

直到現在我都不知道該如何感謝他。

"Just tell me when, and I'll have all the news channels present," he said.

「妳只要告訴我時間，我會保證 所有的本地新聞頻道都到場。」他說。

He did for us what we could not do for ourselves

他在我們的黑暗時刻，

幫我們做了我們做不到的事。

in a moment of devastation.

I delivered the press statement,

我還穿著前一晚的手術衣，

發表了媒體聲明。

still wearing scrubs from the previous night.

And in under 24 hours from the murders,

在謀殺案發生的 24 小時內，

I'm on CNN being interviewed by Anderson Cooper.

我被美國有線電視新聞網的 安德森·古柏採訪了。

第二天，所有的主流報刊，

The following day, major newspapers --

including the New York Times, Chicago Tribune --

包括紐約時報，芝加哥論壇報，

published stories about Deah, Yusor and Razan,

都發表了關於迪亞、 雨瑟和拉贊的故事。

allowing us to reclaim the narrative

這使得我們可以重新講述事情經過，

and call attention the mainstreaming of anti-Muslim hatred.

和引起大家對反穆斯林仇恨的注意。

現在，

These days,

伊斯蘭恐懼症好像已經成為 一件能被社會接受的偏見，

it feels like Islamophobia is a socially acceptable form of bigotry.

We just have to put up with it and smile.

而我們能做的就只有微笑和忍受。

The nasty stares,

那些讓人討厭的注視；

the palpable fear when boarding a plane,

當我們登機時，人們明顯的恐懼感；

the random pat downs at airports that happen 99 percent of the time.

和我們在機場，百分之九十九 會被搜身檢查的經歷。

It doesn't stop there.

而且不僅僅是這些。

We have politicians reaping political and financial gains off our backs.

有政治家從我們身上收割利益。

Here in the US,

在美國國內，

we have presidential candidates like Donald Trump,

我們有像唐納·川普的總統候選人，

casually calling to register American Muslims,

隨意呼喚要登記美國籍穆斯林，

and ban Muslim immigrants and refugees from entering this country.

和禁止穆斯林移民和難民進入美國。

It is no coincidence that hate crimes rise

當仇恨犯罪比例隨著大選進行而上升，

這並不是巧合。

in parallel with election cycles.

Just a couple months ago, Khalid Jabara,

在幾個月前，

一個黎巴嫩裔美國基督徒， 哈立德·傑巴郎

a Lebanese-American Christian,

was murdered in Oklahoma by his neighbor --

在俄克拉荷馬州被他的鄰居殺害了。

a man who called him a "filthy Arab."

他的鄰居稱它為「骯髒的阿拉伯人。」

This man was previously jailed for a mere 8 months,

這個男人曾經因為嘗試開車 去撞哈立德的母親而進監獄。

after attempting run over Khalid's mother with his car.

但是時間僅僅只有八個月。

Chances are you haven't heard Khalid's story,

你很有可能根本 沒聽過哈立德的故事，

because it didn't make it to national news.

因為並沒有任何國家級的 報刊報導了這件事。

The least we can do is call it what it is:

我們至少可以把它稱之為：

仇恨犯罪。

a hate crime.

The least we can do is talk about it,

我們至少可以談起它，

因為暴力和仇恨 不會平白無故地發生。

because violence and hatred doesn't just happen in a vacuum.

Not long after coming back to work,

在我回到工作不久後，

I'm the senior on rounds in the hospital,

我是醫院裡巡床的醫生，

when one of my patients looks over at my colleague,

我其中一個病人看著我的同事，

在她臉上做手勢， 然後說：「聖貝納迪諾。」

gestures around her face and says, "San Bernardino,"

referencing a recent terrorist attack.

代表了最近的一起恐怖襲擊。

Here I am having just lost three family members to Islamophobia,

那時的我，剛因為伊斯蘭恐懼症 失去三名家庭成員，

having been a vocal advocate within my program

為如何處理微侵略的積極發聲，

on how to deal with such microaggressions,

and yet --

但是我只聽到──沈默。

silence.

I was disheartened.

這使我徹底的灰心

和感到備受屈辱。

Humiliated.

Days later rounding on the same patient,

幾天後我對著同一個病人，

she looks at me and says,

她看著我然後說：「你的同類

"Your people are killing people in Los Angeles."

在洛杉磯殺害人們。」

I look around expectantly.

我充滿期待的看著周圍，

Again:

可是還是，

silence.

沈默。

I realize that yet again,

我重新意識到，

I have to speak up for myself.

我要敢於為自己說話。

I sit on her bed and gently ask her,

我坐在她床上溫柔的問她：

「我除了以尊敬和寬容對待你， 我還有做過什麼其他的事嗎？

"Have I ever done anything but treat you with respect and kindness?

Have I done anything but give you compassionate care?"

我除了為你悉心治療， 我還有做過其他事嗎？」

She looks down and realizes what she said was wrong,

她的眼神往下看了然後意識到 她所說過的是錯誤的。

and in front of the entire team,

她在所有的成員面前，

she apologizes and says,

對我道歉了，

"I should know better. I'm Mexican-American.

然後說：「我應該了解你。 我是一個墨西哥裔的美國人。

I receive this kind of treatment all the time."

我經常被這麼對待。」

Many of us experience microaggressions on a daily basis.

我們很多人每天 都會受到這樣的微侵略。

Odds are you may have experienced it,

很有可能你也曾經有過這樣的經歷，

whether for your race,

不管是因為你的種族，

gender,

性別，

性取向，

sexuality

或者宗教信仰。

or religious beliefs.

We've all been in situations where we've witnessed something wrong

我們都做過當我們看到不對的事情時，

and didn't speak up.

保持了沈默。

Maybe we weren't equipped with the tools to respond in the moment.

可能我們當時不具備回應的能力。

Maybe we weren't even aware of our own implicit biases.

可能我們都沒有意識到我們 潛意識中抱有的偏見。

We can all agree that bigotry is unacceptable,

我們都同意偏見是不能接受的，

but when we see it,

但當我們看到的時候

we're silent,

我們都保持沈默，

because it makes us uncomfortable.

因為我們感到不舒服。

But stepping right into that discomfort

但是當你踏進這樣的不舒適中時，

意味著你也成為支持他們的一員。

means you are also stepping into the ally zone.

There may be over three million Muslims in America.

在美國有超過三百萬的穆斯林。

That's still just one percent of the total population.

這只是美國人口的百分之一。

Martin Luther King once said,

馬丁路德金恩曾經說過：

"In the end,

「到最後，

we will remember not the words of our enemies,

我們不會記得敵人的言語，

而是我們朋友的沈默。」

but the silence of our friends."

So what made my neighbor Neal's allyship so profound?

所以是什麼導致了 我鄰居和我的關係如此深刻？

有好幾個原因。

A couple of things.

他在我們需要時，

He was there as a neighbor who cared,

關心我們，

but he was also bringing in his professional expertise and resources

也給我們帶來了專業的建議和資源。

when the moment called for it.

Others have done the same.

其他人也做了類似的事情。

拉瑞莎·霍金在她的 個人信息上有這麼一條：

Larycia Hawkins drew on her platform

as the first tenured African-American professor at Wheaton College

作為第一個惠頓學院 被冠名終身教授的非裔美國人，

to wear a hijab in solidarity

她和其他每天遭受歧視的 穆斯林女性一起

with Muslim women who face discrimination every day.

團結的戴上了伊斯蘭頭巾。

結局是，她失去了她的工作。

As a result, she lost her job.

Within a month,

在一個月內，

she joined the faculty at the University of Virginia,

她成為了維吉尼亞大學的一員，

where she now works on pluralism, race, faith and culture.

她在那裡從事於多元主義、種族、 信仰，和文化有關的工作。

Reddit cofounder, Alexis Ohanian,

Reddit 的共同創辦人， 亞歷克西斯·瓦尼安

demonstrated that not all active allyship needs to be so serious.

表現出並不是所有的 同盟關係都要那麼嚴肅。

He stepped up to support a 15-year-old Muslim girl's mission

他站出來幫助了一位 十五歲穆斯林女孩

to introduce a hijab emoji.

創建了一個伊斯蘭頭巾的表情符號。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

這是一個很簡單的事情，

It's a simple gesture,

but it has a significant subconscious impact

但是它顯著幫助我們在潛意識裡

on normalizing and humanizing Muslims,

正常化和人性化穆斯林，

including the community as a part of an "us"

把他們當成我們的一員，

而不是「非我族類。」

instead of an "other."

跑步女性雜誌 (Women‘s Running) 的主編輯

The editor in chief of Women's Running magazine

just put the first hijabi to ever be on the cover of a US fitness magazine.

是全美第一個用戴希賈布的女性 作為雜誌封面的健身雜誌。

這是一群不同的人

These are all very different examples

of people who drew upon their platforms and resources

運用了各自的平台和資源，

in academia, tech and media,

在學界、科技，和媒體界

to actively express their allyship.

活躍的表達了他們當盟友的意願。

What resources and expertise do you bring to the table?

你又可以帶來怎麼樣的 資源和專業知識呢？

Are you willing to step into your discomfort

你願意踏入你的不適，

and speak up when you witness hateful bigotry?

當你在看到可恨的偏見時發聲嗎？

Will you be Neal?

你會成為尼奧嗎？

許多鄰居都出現在這個故事裡。

Many neighbors appeared in this story.

And you, in your respective communities, all have a Muslim neighbor,

在你們各自的社區裡， 都有穆斯林的鄰居、

colleague

同事，

或者你小孩在學校的朋友。

or friend your child plays with at school.

Reach out to them.

向他們伸出我們的雙手。

Let them know you stand with them in solidarity.

讓他們知道你是站在他們那邊的。

It may feel really small,

你可能會感覺到這樣的作用微弱，

but I promise you it makes a difference.

但是我保證你這一定造成改變。

沒有什麼可以把迪亞、 雨瑟，和拉贊帶回來了。

Nothing will ever bring back Deah, Yusor and Razan.

But when we raise our collective voices,

但當我們團結發聲，

我們可以阻止仇恨。

that is when we stop the hate.

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（鼓掌）