Portraits that transform people into whatever they want to be | Uldus Bakhtiozina

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Marssi Draw

I'm often asked

我常被問，

why I do art,

我為什麼要做藝術？

what do I want to say with my art photography,

我想用我的藝術攝影表達什麼？

and what is the use of it?

它有什麼用？

Once in a while I start to worry

有時，我會開始擔心，

how to actually measure the impact from the art

到底要如何測量藝術的影響，

like we do with medicine or technology,

像我們對藥品或科技那樣測量，

where we can see the results and calculate it.

能夠看到結果且能夠計算它。

Then I would finally be able to explain to my mother my art

接著，我終於能夠用 真正的數字來向我母親

with real numbers.

解釋我的藝術了。

But my art is so far from metrics,

但我的藝術和度量尺度差得很遠，

and moreover, my photography is widely exposing the theme of escapism.

此外，我的攝影是在廣泛地 讓逃避主義曝光。

My theory is that all of us

我的理論是，我們所有人

struggle sometimes to escape

有些時候都會掙扎，會想逃離，

in order to analyze our reality,

是為了能夠分析我們的現實，

appreciate it or change.

欣賞它，或是做改變。

I don't work with daily life as it is,

我並不會把日常生活 現在的樣子拿來創作，

and I'm not a documentary photographer

且從一般的意義來看，

我不是紀錄片攝影師。

in the common sense.

But I am a documentary photographer

但從不同的意義上來看，

in a different sense.

我是紀錄片攝影師。

I document dreams.

我紀錄的是夢。

I work with daily life as it could be,

我會把日常生活可以成為的樣子、

我想像的樣子，拿來創作。

as I imagine it.

I am a daydreamer, but at the same time I love things that are authentic

我是個做白日夢的人， 但同時，我也愛真實的事物，

and deal with our innermost nature,

且我在處理的是我們最深處的本性，

which I would never want to escape from.

我永遠不會想逃離它。

I adore complicated personalities,

我鍾愛複雜的人格，

and real life inspires me to create my images.

真實人生鼓舞我創作我的影像。

Real life inspires our escape,

真實人生鼓舞了我們的逃離，

and sometimes that escape is very needed.

有時，那樣的逃離是很必要的。

I believe heroes are not created easily,

我相信，英雄不是 能輕易創造出來的，

and I choose to work with individuals

我創作選擇的合作對象，

who are survivors

是倖存者，

and facing everyday routines

他們要面對每日的慣例，

that are not always full of color,

而這些慣例並非總是色彩豐富，

people who are on their way to a better life,

我的對象，是那些 正在追尋更好人生的人，

fighting against life circumstances.

他們對抗著人生的境遇。

Why do I choose people like that for my models?

我為什麼選擇那樣的人 當我的模特兒？

Because I've been in that position myself,

因為我自己也曾經是那樣的，

when I had to learn how to survive in real life.

我得要學習如何在真實人生中存活。

I was a student living abroad in London.

我曾是住在倫敦的外國學生。

I was working at two places at the same time as a waitress.

我兼兩份差，當女服務生。

Obviously that wasn't my dream job,

顯然那並非我夢想的工作，

but I decided to play a game

但我決定要玩一個遊戲，

where I imagined that I am taking a role in a film,

在遊戲中，我要想像 我在一部電影中扮演一個角色，

and in the film I am a waitress,

在電影中，我是女服務生，

and I need to act great.

我得要做出色的演出。

I used to dye my hair and brows to gingerette,

我以前會把頭髮和眉毛染成薑黃色，

I changed my hair to curly perm,

我燙捲髮，

I lost weight

我減重，

and made myself believe

並讓我自己相信

I am just a character acting in a film.

我只是在電影中演戲的一個角色。

That isn't forever,

那並不是永遠的，

that is all just temporary.

全都只是暫時的。

That helped me a lot.

那對我幫助很大。

It motivated me to change my life

讓我有動力去改變我的人生，

and take a hard time as a game.

把辛苦的時刻當遊戲來看待。

Now, as an artist,

現在，身為藝術家，

I am creating different lives for my models

我會為我的模特兒創造不同的人生，

in order to give them the experience of being someone else in reality.

目的是要讓他們體驗在現實中 成為別人是怎麼樣的。

Through the photographic process,

透過攝影處理，

all of my models become like silent movie actors.

我所有的模特兒都變成 像是默片中的演員。

They are captured at the moment

當他們完全相信

when they believe in being someone else entirely.

他們就是另一個人的那一刻， 他們被捕捉下來。

In order to create a new reality in its entirety,

為了要創造出一個完整的新現實，

I physically create every single thing in my work,

我親手創造了 我作品中的每一樣東西，

sometimes from outfits to the stage.

有時是舞臺上的服裝。

Because I work with analogues,

因為我用類比，

and I don't make any digital manipulations to my photographs,

我的照片不會做任何數位的處理，

I need everything to take place in reality,

我需要一切都在現實中發生。

in spite of the fact that nowadays,

儘管現今用數位方式

digitally, you can create pretty much everything.

幾乎可以創造出任何東西。

I don't like this path.

我不喜歡這條路。

Even if that reaches perfection,

即使那樣能達到完美，

I see the beauty in authenticity of making,

我看見的是在真實製作當中的美麗，

and that's impossible without flaws.

那不可能沒有瑕疵。

A digitally manipulated photograph

用數位處理過的照片

is not true for me.

對我來說不是真的。

It doesn't capture anything real.

它沒有捕捉到任何真實性。

It's not experienced, not motivating.

它沒有被經歷，它沒有激發力。

It's like, instead of going traveling,

就像是，你沒有實際去旅行，

you look at someone else's travel photographs.

而是去看別人旅行時拍的照片。

What I find so exciting

讓我很興奮的是

is the ability to make people's dreams of being someone else a reality.

我有能力讓人們 成為他人的夢想得以實現。

That's like a drug

那就像毒品一樣，

which pushes me to keep working,

它逼著我持續工作，

even without metrics.

即使沒有度量尺度。

One of my models

我的其中一位模特兒

had always dreamed of being seen as a warrior,

一直都夢想著被當成戰士來看待，

but she wasn't able to do sports because of her health problems.

因為健康問題，她無法運動。

Half a year ago, she passed away

半年前，她過世了，

from heart disease at the age of 22.

死因是心臟病，死時才 22 歲。

But two days before her death,

但在她過世前兩天，

the images we spent months working on together

我們一起花了數個月的時間在處理

of her as a warrior she dreamed of becoming

她扮演夢想中的戰士的那些照片，

were published at a large exhibition in Milan by Vogue Magazine.

那些照片被 VOGUE 雜誌 在米蘭的一個大型展覽中發表了。

All her life was about overcoming.

她的一生都在克服。

Before she died, she had known

她過世前，她知道

that thousands of people saw her image from the land of escapism

數以千計的人看到了 她身在逃離之地的影像，

and believed in her as a brave and fearless warrior.

並相信她就是個勇敢且無懼的戰士。

For my work, I invite people to play a game

我創作時，我會邀請 人們來玩一個遊戲，

like we all used to as children

就像我們兒時玩的遊戲，

when we pretend to be someone else

我們假裝自己是別人，

and that process made us really happy.

那過程讓我們十分快樂。

To my mind it is important for grown-ups.

我認為，那對成人是很重要的。

We need these transformations

我們需要這些轉變，

to enact this in the name of art.

以藝術之名來讓這部戲上演。

It gives us the very real feeling of being important and powerful

它能給我們非常真實的感受， 感到重要性和力量，

in order to influence our reality.

而能夠影響到我們的現實。

I know this from my own personal experience.

我從我自己的個人經驗學到這些。

I have had so many versions of myself

我有過好多版本的我，

through my self-portraits

透過我的自我肖像作品，

that I've been many different characters.

我扮演過許多不同的角色。

Being someone else in the land of escapism

在逃離之地扮演另一個人

doesn't exactly give us numbers that we can gauge,

並不會給予我們可以量測的數字，

but it's like a real lost form of magic

但它就像是魔法 以一種已遺失的形式呈現，

which exists but can't be measured.

魔法是存在的，但無法測量。

There is a unique power in art

藝術中有一種獨特的力量，

to transform and lift our limits.

能轉變和解除我們的限制。

Art creates what I call a conjured life,

藝術能創造出我所謂的 「召喚出來的人生」，

which helps our existence

它能協助我們的存在，

and pushes, motivates and inspires us to dwell

推動我們、激勵我們、鼓舞我們

去思索和表述我們自己，

and express ourselves

without metrics or calculations.

不用度量尺度或計算。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）