Portraits that transform people into whatever they want to be | Uldus Bakhtiozina

Prevoditelj: Irma Komljenović Recezent: Sanda L

I'm often asked

Često me pitaju

why I do art,

zašto se bavim umjetnošću,

što želim reći svojom umjetničkom fotografijom

what do I want to say with my art photography,

and what is the use of it?

i koja je njena korist.

Once in a while I start to worry

Svako malo počnem brinuti

how to actually measure the impact from the art

o načinu na koji bih izmjerila utjecaj umjetnosti,

like we do with medicine or technology,

kao što radimo s medicinom ili tehnologijom,

where we can see the results and calculate it.

gdje možemo vidjeti i izračunati rezultate.

Then I would finally be able to explain to my mother my art

Onda bih napokon mogla svojoj majci objasniti svoju umjetnost

with real numbers.

stvarnim brojevima.

But my art is so far from metrics,

No, moja je umjetnost daleko od metrike

and moreover, my photography is widely exposing the theme of escapism.

i, osim toga, moja fotografija naširoko prikazuje temu eskapizma.

My theory is that all of us

Moja je teorija da nam je svima ponekad

struggle sometimes to escape

teško pobjeći,

in order to analyze our reality,

kako bismo analizirali svoju stvarnost,

appreciate it or change.

cijenili je ili je promijenili.

I don't work with daily life as it is,

Ne radim sa svakodnevnim životom

and I'm not a documentary photographer

i nisam dokumentarna fotografkinja

in the common sense.

u sveopćem smislu te riječi.

But I am a documentary photographer

Dokumentarna sam fotografkinja

in a different sense.

na drukčiji način.

I document dreams.

Dokumentiram snove.

I work with daily life as it could be,

Radim sa svakodnevnim životom kakav bi mogao biti,

as I imagine it.

kako ga ja zamišljam.

I am a daydreamer, but at the same time I love things that are authentic

Sanjar sam, no istovremeno volim autentične stvari

and deal with our innermost nature,

i bavim se našom najdubljom naravi

which I would never want to escape from.

od koje nikad ne bih htjela pobjeći.

I adore complicated personalities,

Obožavam komplicirane osobnosti,

and real life inspires me to create my images.

a stvarni me život inspirira da stvaram svoje fotografije.

Real life inspires our escape,

Stvarni život inspirira naš bijeg,

and sometimes that escape is very needed.

a nekad je taj bijeg prijeko potreban.

I believe heroes are not created easily,

Vjerujem da heroji nisu samo tako stvoreni

and I choose to work with individuals

i odabirem raditi s individualcima

who are survivors

koji su borci,

and facing everyday routines

suočeni sa svakodnevnim rutinama

that are not always full of color,

koje nisu uvijek pune boje,

people who are on their way to a better life,

s ljudima koji su na putu prema boljem životu,

fighting against life circumstances.

boreći se sa životnim okolnostima.

Why do I choose people like that for my models?

Zašto odabirem takve ljude za modele?

Because I've been in that position myself,

I sama sam bila u tom položaju,

when I had to learn how to survive in real life.

morala sam naučiti kako preživjeti u stvarnom životu.

I was a student living abroad in London.

Studirala sam u inozemstvu, u Londonu.

Radila sam istovremeno na dva mjesta kao konobarica.

I was working at two places at the same time as a waitress.

Obviously that wasn't my dream job,

To očito nije bio moj posao iz snova,

but I decided to play a game

no odlučila sam igrati igru

where I imagined that I am taking a role in a film,

u kojoj bih zamislila da igram ulogu u filmu,

u tom sam filmu bila konobarica

and in the film I am a waitress,

and I need to act great.

i morala sam izvrsno glumiti.

I used to dye my hair and brows to gingerette,

Bojala sam kosu i obrve u narančastu,

I changed my hair to curly perm,

napravila sam kovrčavu trajnu,

I lost weight

smršavila sam

and made myself believe

i natjerala se da vjerujem

I am just a character acting in a film.

kako sam samo lik u filmu.

That isn't forever,

Ne traje vječno,

that is all just temporary.

samo je privremeno.

That helped me a lot.

Puno mi je pomoglo.

It motivated me to change my life

Motiviralo me da promijenim svoj život

and take a hard time as a game.

i teško razdoblje pretvorim u igru.

Now, as an artist,

Sada, kao umjetnica,

I am creating different lives for my models

stvaram drukčije živote za svoje modele

in order to give them the experience of being someone else in reality.

da bih im pokazala kako je biti netko drugi u stvarnosti.

Through the photographic process,

Kroz fotografski proces

all of my models become like silent movie actors.

svi moji modeli postanu glumci u nijemim filmovima.

They are captured at the moment

Uhvaćeni su u trenutku

when they believe in being someone else entirely.

u kojem vjeruju da su netko potpuno drukčiji.

In order to create a new reality in its entirety,

Kako bih u potpunosti stvorila novu stvarnost,

I physically create every single thing in my work,

sama izrađujem sve u svom radu,

sometimes from outfits to the stage.

sve, od odjeće do scene.

Because I work with analogues,

Radim sve s analognim fotografijama,

and I don't make any digital manipulations to my photographs,

bez da njima digitalno manipuliram

I need everything to take place in reality,

pa se sve treba dogoditi u stvarnosti,

in spite of the fact that nowadays,

unatoč činjenici da se danas

digitalnim putem može stvoriti gotovo sve.

digitally, you can create pretty much everything.

I don't like this path.

Ne sviđa mi se taj smjer.

Even if that reaches perfection,

Čak i ako se tako dosegne savršenstvo,

I see the beauty in authenticity of making,

vidim ljepotu u autentičnosti stvaranja,

and that's impossible without flaws.

što je nemoguće bez mana.

A digitally manipulated photograph

Digitalno manipuliranu fotografiju

is not true for me.

ne smatram istinitom.

Nije uhvatila ništa stvarno.

It doesn't capture anything real.

It's not experienced, not motivating.

Nema iskustvo, ne motivira.

It's like, instead of going traveling,

To je kao da, umjesto putovanja,

you look at someone else's travel photographs.

gledate tuđe fotografije s putovanja.

What I find so exciting

Iznimno mi je uzbudljiva

is the ability to make people's dreams of being someone else a reality.

sposobnost pretvaranja tuđih snova o postajanju drugom osobom u stvarnost.

That's like a drug

To je poput droge

which pushes me to keep working,

koja me tjera da nastavljam raditi,

even without metrics.

čak i bez metrike.

One of my models

Jedna je od mojih modela

had always dreamed of being seen as a warrior,

oduvijek sanjala da će biti viđena kao ratnica,

but she wasn't able to do sports because of her health problems.

no, nije se mogla baviti sportom zbog zdravstvenih problema.

Half a year ago, she passed away

Preminula je prije pola godine

from heart disease at the age of 22.

od srčane bolesti sa 22 godine.

But two days before her death,

Dva dana prije njene smrti,

the images we spent months working on together

fotografije na kojima smo mjesecima radili,

of her as a warrior she dreamed of becoming

koje je prikazuju kao ratnicu o kakvoj je sanjala da će postati,

were published at a large exhibition in Milan by Vogue Magazine.

objavljene su na velikoj izložbi časopisa Vogue u Milanu.

All her life was about overcoming.

Cijeli je njen život bio oko savladavanja.

Before she died, she had known

Prije nego je umrla, znala je

that thousands of people saw her image from the land of escapism

da je tisuće ljudi vidjelo fotografiju nje u svijetu eskapizma

i da su vjerovali u nju kao u hrabru, neustrašivu ratnicu.

and believed in her as a brave and fearless warrior.

For my work, I invite people to play a game

U sklopu svog posla, pozivam ljude da igraju igru,

like we all used to as children

kao kad smo svi bili djeca

when we pretend to be someone else

i pravili se da smo nešto drugo,

and that process made us really happy.

a taj nas proces stvarno usrećuje.

To my mind it is important for grown-ups.

Smatram da je to važno za odrasle.

We need these transformations

Potrebne su nam te transformacije,

to enact this in the name of art.

kako bismo to odglumili u ime umjetnosti.

It gives us the very real feeling of being important and powerful

Daju nam stvaran osjećaj važnosti i snage,

in order to influence our reality.

kojima utječemo na svoju stvarnost.

I know this from my own personal experience.

Znam to iz vlastitog iskustva.

I have had so many versions of myself

Imala sam toliko verzija sebe

through my self-portraits

u svojim autoportretima,

that I've been many different characters.

da sam bila puno raznih likova.

Being someone else in the land of escapism

Biti netko u zemlji eskapizma

doesn't exactly give us numbers that we can gauge,

ne daje nam točne brojeve koje možemo mjeriti,

no, ono je poput izgubljene vrste magije

but it's like a real lost form of magic

which exists but can't be measured.

koja postoji bez da je se može izmjeriti.

There is a unique power in art

Postoji jedinstvena moć u umjetnosti

to transform and lift our limits.

koja transformira i podiže naše granice.

Umjetnost stvara ono što ja zovem prizvanim životom,

Art creates what I call a conjured life,

which helps our existence

koji pomaže našoj egzistenciji

and pushes, motivates and inspires us to dwell

i gura nas, motivira i inspirira da promišljamo

and express ourselves

i izražavamo se,

without metrics or calculations.

bez metrike i kalkulacija.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)