A video game that helps us understand loneliness | Cornelia Geppert

翻译人员: Jiasi Hao 校对人员: Jiong Guo

Have you ever felt lonely?

你曾感到孤独吗？

The urge of wanting to connect with people,

尽管内心有与人联系的强烈愿望，

but you seem to have no one you really would want to contact?

却没有可以找的人？

Or, it's a Friday night and you want to be with others,

或者在周五的晚上，你想找人聚聚，

but you have no energy to go out, so instead you sit at home all evening,

却没有力气出门， 于是你选择整晚宅在家里，

watch Netflix

刷网飞上的剧，

and feel more alone than ever?

感到更加孤独。

在一群正常人中间，

You feel like a monster

between humans that know how to function.

你觉得自己就是个怪物。

This is what loneliness felt like to me.

这就是孤独给我的感受。

So I'm an artist,

我是一名艺术家，

and I process my emotional world by sharing my feelings through my art.

我通过艺术分享感受， 来表达我的情感世界。

If you share your feelings with someone,

如果你和某人分享你的感受，

and they understand and share those feelings too,

他们感同身受， 并且也分享自己的感受，

you create an emotional and deep connection.

你们就建立了情感上的深度联系。

This is why you can be surrounded by hundreds of people,

这就是为什么，尽管你身边有很多人，

jump from one candidate to the next,

你在中间寻寻觅觅，

but still feel lonely.

却依旧感到孤独。

It's because these deeper connections haven't been made.

因为你们没有建立起深度联系。

I was an always-happy child.

我曾是一个无忧无虑的孩子。

I think we nearly have no single photo of me

几乎所有我的照片，

where I don't smile broadly or laugh or joke around.

都面带笑脸，或是大笑，或者搞怪。

And this went on until ...

这一直持续到——

well, it's still the case.

好吧，现在也依旧如此。

But I had many friend groups

以前我有很多朋友圈子，

up until, as a young adult, I moved to another city

直到成年后不久，我搬到另一个城市，

开始第一份工作——漫画家。

for my first job as a comic artist.

And like so many young, thriving people all over the planet,

就像全世界无数勤奋的年轻人一样，

I concentrated all my energy into my work life.

我把所有精力都投入到了工作中。

But, if you spend, like, 90 percent of your daily capacity

但是，如果你每天把 90% 的精力

trying to succeed at work,

都投入工作，

of course there is nothing left

显然你没什么余力

to take care of all the other important aspects in your life,

去关注你生活中其他重要的方面了，

like your human relationships.

比如人际关系。

Nourishing friendships as an adult is work.

成年人培养友谊是一项工作。

You need to be consistent with connecting.

你必须持续不断地维系。

需要开放，需要坦诚。

You need to be open, you need to be honest.

And this is all I struggled with,

这是我一直在纠结的点，

because I tend to camouflage my real feelings

因为我一直隐藏自己的真实感受，

by trying to appear always happy

让自己看起来开心，

and trying to make everyone else happy, too,

我也一直努力帮别人解决问题，

by trying to fix their problems.

从而让每个人也都开心。

And I know a lot of us are guilty of this,

我知道，很多人都有这个问题，

because it's an easy way to not think about your own issues.

因为这是一种能让我们 忘掉自己烦恼的简单方法，

Isn't it?

不是吗？

Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

对吧，不是吗？

(Laughter)

（笑声）

OK.

好吧。

The turning point came

就在几年前我陷入了

when I fell into an emotionally abusive relationship

一段糟糕的感情，精神遭到虐待，

just a few years ago.

这对我来说是一个转折点。

He isolated me

他孤立我，

and left me feeling more alone than ever.

让我感到了前所未有的孤独。

It was the lowest point in my life,

那是我人生最低谷，

but it was also my wake-up call,

但也给我敲响了一记警钟，

because it was the first time

因为这是我第一次

that I really felt loneliness.

真正感受到了孤独。

Many artists put their feelings into their art.

许多艺术家将他们的情感注入艺术。

There are endless books, movies, paintings, music,

有不计其数的书籍、电影、绘画、音乐

all filled with the real emotion of an artist.

都充满了艺术家的真情实感。

So, as an artist myself, I did the same.

同为艺术家的我也不例外。

I shared my feelings.

我分享自己的感受。

I wanted to help people cope with loneliness.

我想要帮助人们应对孤独。

I wanted, yeah, to make them understand it,

让他们了解孤独，

to really experience it through my art

让他们真正地经历孤独，

in the form of an interactive story,

通过交互故事的艺术形式——

a video game.

电子游戏。

So, in our game --

在我们的游戏里——

这个游戏叫《孤独之海》——

we called it "Sea of Solitude" --

you are a person named Kay,

你是一个名叫凯的人，

who is suffering from such strong loneliness

承受着巨大的孤独，

that her inner feelings --

以至于她内心的情绪——

the anger,

那种愤怒，

the feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness --

那种绝望，那种无用感——

turn to the outside,

从内向外爆发出来，

and she becomes a monster.

将她变成了一个怪物。

The game -- well, Kay --

这个游戏——其实凯 ——

她的原型就是我，

is actually a representation of me

也展示了我如何战胜内心挣扎的过程。

and the path I went through to overcome my struggles.

The game plays, actually, in Kay's mind,

这个游戏其实发生在凯的脑海中，

so you walk through a world that is flooded by her tears,

所以你会穿梭在 一个被她泪水淹没的世界

and the weather is changing by her mood,

天气也会随着她的心情变化

how her mood is changing.

而发生变化。

And, well, the only thing Kay wears,

凯带着的唯一一件东西，

the only thing,

唯一的装备，

is her backpack.

就是她的背包。

It's the baggage we all carry throughout our life.

这是一个伴随我们一生的行囊。

And Kay doesn't know how to cope with her emotions in the right way,

凯也不知道该如何正确处理她的情绪，

so her backpack becomes bigger and bigger

所以她的背包变得越来越大，

直到她不堪重负，

until it bursts,

and she finally is forced to overcome her own struggles.

于是她不得不克服自己的困难。

In our story, we present many different manifestations of loneliness.

在我们的故事中，我们展现了 孤独的多种表现形式。

Loneliness through social exclusion is very common.

社会排斥所产生的孤独很常见。

在我们的游戏中，凯的哥哥在学校受到霸凌，

In our game, the brother of Kay got bullied in his school,

他只想躲藏和逃离。

and he just wants to hide and fly away.

And we portray him as a huge bird monster surrounded by thick fog.

我们把他塑造为一只 被浓雾笼罩的巨型怪鸟。

The player has to actually walk through his school

玩家必须要穿过他的校园，

and experience, really feel the harm,

真实体验凯的哥哥

that the brother had been through,

所经历的伤害，

because for a long time, nobody really listens to him.

因为很长时间以来， 没有人真正倾听他。

但是当朋友和家人 开始倾听的那一瞬间，

But the very moment friends and family start to listen,

the first step towards overcoming this form of loneliness had been made.

其实已经迈出了 克服这类孤独的第一步。

We also show loneliness in relationships,

我们也展现了感情中的孤独，

like when parents just stay together for the sake of their kids

比如家长为了孩子 而勉强在一起，

but end up hurting the entire family.

但最终伤害了整个家庭。

We put the player literally in between the two parents while they are fighting,

父母在吵架的时候， 我们把玩家放在他们中间，

and you get hurt in the middle.

你在其中会受到伤害。

They don't even see that their daughter, Kay, is right there

他们甚至看不见女儿凯就在边上，

until she breaks down.

直到她崩溃。

我们也通过心理健康问题来展现孤独，

We also show loneliness through mental health issues,

例如凯的男友，遭受抑郁症折磨，

with the boyfriend of Kay, who suffers from depression

and shows that sometimes

其实有些时候

it is most important to focus on your own well-being first.

首先关注自己的健康最为重要。

The boyfriend also tends to camouflage his feelings,

她的男友也倾向于隐藏自己的感受，

so he appears like a lone, shiny white wolf.

所以他的形象是一只孤独却闪亮的白狼。

But the moment he starts to interact with his girlfriend, Kay,

但在他开始和女友凯互动的瞬间，

the mask falls off,

伪装消失了，

and we see the black dog beneath it:

我们可以看到隐藏其中的 一只黑狗的形象：

depression.

抑郁症。

Sometimes we put on a smile

有时我们面带微笑，

instead of dealing with the issues at hand,

而不去处理手中的问题，

and that can ultimately make it worse,

最终会让事情变得更糟，

影响我们身边的人，

affect the people around us

and damage our relationships.

破坏我们之间的关系。

So Kay herself

因此我们把凯

we portray as ripped apart into her basic emotions.

塑造为一个被自己的情绪左右的人。

Some help you,

有些情绪能帮到你，

some are trying to stop you.

而有些却在阻挠你。

Self-Doubt is a huge creature,

自我怀疑是一种强大的存在，

它总是让凯觉得自己是多么的无用，

always telling Kay how worthless she is

and that she should just give up.

她应该就这么放弃。

Like in real life,

就像在现实生活中，

Self-Doubt is blocking the path,

自我怀疑阻碍着你前进的道路，

and it seems impossible to overcome it.

看起来无法被战胜。

Destroying the omnipresence of Self-Doubt is a slow process.

消灭日常出现的自我怀疑 是一个缓慢的过程。

But in the game, you can slowly, like, shrink her,

但在游戏中， 你可以慢慢地缩小她，

so she turns from self-doubt

于是她能从自我怀疑

转化为合理的怀疑，

to actually healthy doubt,

and you can finally trust her advice.

到最后你可以相信她的建议。

We also show Self-Destruction.

我们也展现了自我毁灭。

It's a huge monster

它是一个巨大的怪物，

always lurking nearby under the water's surface.

总是隐藏在附近的水面下。

Self-Destruction is actually the main antagonist of the game,

“自我毁灭”实际上是游戏中的 主要反派角色，

and she is always trying to drown you in the ocean of tears.

她总是想把你拖进“泪之海”。

But, when she actually drowns you,

但是，每当她快要淹死你时，

you wake up just a few moments [before],

你会回到几分钟前醒来，

and you have a chance to progress again.

获得一个再来一次的机会。

We wanted to show

我们想要展现的是，

that we all go through hardships in our life, we all do.

所有人都在生活中 经历了许多磨难，无人例外。

But if you at least, like, stand up and try to move forward,

但如果你哪怕能站起来， 尝试继续前进，

you are very likely to make it through your struggle,

你就非常有可能，挺过这些磨难，

一步一步地。

step by step.

Joy is something that Kay cannot really embrace or touch.

快乐是凯无法真正触及的东西，

It's always something in the distance.

它一直在远处。

We portrayed Joy as a child version of Kay,

我们把快乐用小时候的凯来表示，

with a yellow raincoat,

她穿着件黄色的雨衣，

so she is invulnerable to the ocean of tears.

所以“泪之海”无法伤害到她。

But Joy can also turn into obsession

但是快乐也会转变为痴迷，

从而对凯造成伤害，

and start to be actually harmful for Kay,

like when she starts obsessing over her boyfriend.

比如当她开始痴迷于她的男友。

Joy will not turn back to normal until Kay realizes

痴迷无法变回快乐，直到凯能意识到，

that her happiness should not depend on anybody else

她的幸福不应该靠别人，

but herself.

而只能靠自己。

So our monsters appear huge and scary,

所以我们的怪兽看起来巨大又可怕，

but if you overcome your reluctance and approach them,

但如果你克服了自己的犹豫， 并靠近它们，

you soon see that they are no monsters at all,

你就会发现，它们根本不是怪兽，

but just fragile beings that are simply overwhelmed by what life throws at them.

只是被生活压垮的脆弱生命。

All of those emotions,

所有的这些情绪，

自我怀疑，或甚至自我毁灭，

be it self-doubt or even self-destruction,

don't completely vanish in our game.

在我们的游戏中不会完全消失。

The key message is to not only chase for joy or happiness

游戏的精髓不只是“追逐快乐或幸福”，

but to embrace all your emotions

同时也是“拥抱你所有的情绪”

and bring them into balance,

并“让它们维持平衡”，

being OK with sometimes not being OK.

允许一些不好的情绪存在，才是真的好。

Everyone has their own loneliness story to tell.

每个人都有孤独的时候。

This realization changed everything for me.

认识到这一点改变了我的一切。

Being much more open with my emotions

我坦然面对自己的情绪

and concentrating much more on my private life,

也更多关注我的生活，

my friends, my family.

我的朋友，我的家庭。

When we released the game,

在我们推出这款游戏后，

literally thousands of fans wrote us,

成千上万的粉丝给我们来信，

分享他们的故事，

all sharing their stories with us

and telling us they felt not so alone anymore

告诉我们，他们不再感到那么孤独，

just because they played our game.

因为他们玩了我们的游戏。

Many people wrote us that they felt hope

许多人写到：几十年来第一次，

for a better future for themselves for the first time in decades.

他们对自己更美好的未来，充满了希望。

Many wrote us that they seek therapy now,

许多人写到：他们开始寻找心理疗法，

just because they played our game

因为他们玩了我们的游戏，

对克服自己的困难，充满了希望。

and felt hopeful to overcome their own struggles.

Our game is not a therapy.

我们的游戏不是一种疗法。

It's not meant to be a therapy.

它本不应该是一种疗法。

It's just my friends and me sharing our stories

它只是我和我的朋友们 通过电子游戏这种艺术形式，

through our art, video games.

在分享我们的故事。

But we are so deeply thankful for every single message

但对于每一条信息，我们都心怀感激，

that people feel better,

因为我们分享了自己的故事，

just because we shared our story with them.

让大家感觉好多了。

So ...

所以……

I didn't completely overcome my urge to help others.

我还是没能完全克服 想要帮助他人的冲动。

But I don't want to overcome it anymore.

但我不想再克服它了。

I love it.

我爱做这件事。

I just needed to bring it to a healthy size,

我只需要把握好一个度，

so it doesn't stand in the way of deeper relationships anymore,

让它不再成为建立深度联系的绊脚石，

but even help me to connect with people.

而是帮助我更好地与人相处。

So, if you have an inner monster

所以，如果你心里有一个怪物，

that is born out of negative emotions,

充满了负面情绪，

it is not only the goal to kill that monster

消灭这个怪物不是唯一的目标，

but to understand that we humans are complex beings.

而是要理解，我们人类是复杂的生命体。

Look at what part of your life is so big that others fall short.

看看什么东西占据了你生活的大部分， 影响到了其他。

Look at what emotions you barely feel

看看哪些情绪你觉察不到，

or maybe feel too much

或者哪些情绪太强烈，

and move towards lowering those peaks.

然后控制这些太过强烈的情绪。

Most of all, it's about understanding

最重要的是要理解，

that all the wide range of emotions and struggles

正是所有这些各式各样的情绪和苦难

makes us what we are:

才造就了我们：

humans.

人类。

Thank you.

谢谢大家。

(Applause)

（掌声）