3 steps to getting what you want in a negotiation | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber:

When we think about negotiations, we think about being tough.

翻译人员: Yip Yan Yeung 校对人员: Helen Chang

想到“谈判”时， 我们通常会联想到强硬。

We charge in like it's a battle,

我们如临大敌，

brandishing our influence and our power moves.

全力使出我们的影响力和绝招。

But a negotiation doesn't have to be a fight with winners and losers.

但是谈判并不一定是一场 关乎胜败的战争。

Think of it more like a dance,

把它当成一支舞蹈，

two or more people moving fluidly in sync.

两个人或更多人 随着音乐和谐地舞动。

[The Way We Work]

[我们如何工作]

We constantly negotiate at work.

我们经常在工作中需要谈判。

We negotiate for higher pay, promotions, vacations and even greater autonomy.

为了加薪、升职、假期， 甚至是更多的自主权谈判。

In fact, every day we negotiate just to get our job done

其实，我们每天都 只是为了完成工作

and to secure resources for ourselves and our teams.

和为自己与团队获取资源而谈判。

And yet when we go in with the wrong mindset,

但是当我们思考的方向错误，

with a fist up ready to fight,

挥起拳头准备战斗时，

we aren't as successful.

我们就不会那么成功。

You know why? Because negotiation is not about dominating.

你知道为什么吗？ 因为谈判的精髓不在于主导，

It's about crafting a relationship.

而在于建立关系。

And relationships thrive when we find ways to give and to take

如果我们找到了有商有量， 共同进步的方式，

and move together in unison.

这种关系就会积极地发展。

And to do that, you have to be well prepared.

想要达到这样的效果， 你必须要准备妥当。

First, do your research.

首先，做好调查。

Figure out whether what you're asking for is realistic.

搞清楚你的诉求是否现实。

What is your aspiration?

你渴望什么？

What do you want, and what will make you walk away from the table?

你想要什么， 而什么会让你放弃谈判？

This might seem obvious, but too many people don’t think it through.

这看起来显而易见， 但是很多人想不明白。

Let's say you're negotiating for a salary in a new job.

比如说你在为你的 新工作谈判薪水。

Some people, they determine they ask based on their past salary.

有些人会参考过去的薪水 决定要多少，

That isn't a good yardstick.

这不是一个好的衡量标准。

You may end up asking for too much or too little.

最终你可能会要的 太多了或者太少了。

Instead, find out the range of what is possible.

相反，找出一个可能的范围。

Look at industrial reports, websites.

查阅行业报告和网站。

Talk to people in your professional network

和职业圈里的人交流，

to find out the lowest, average and the highest salary

找出相似职位能给出的 最低、平均和最高工资，

for a similar role,

and then make your ask closer to that upper limit.

然后提出接近岗位上限的工资。

Build a solid rationale for why you are above average

据理力争为什么 你的能力超过平均值，

and thus deserving of that ask.

所以值得更高的薪水。

Let's say you're negotiating for something less black and white,

再比如说，你要为一些 不那么黑白分明的事项谈判，

like the ability to work from home to care for an aging parent.

比如说因为要照顾年迈的父母 而在家工作。

You need to study your company's policies on remote work.

你就需要研究公司 对于远程工作的政策。

Ask yourself when and why were these policies developed

问问自己这些政策 何时、为何被制定，

in the first place?

Talk to trusted mentors to understand how working from home might affect issues

与信赖的导师沟通， 了解居家办公在其他

that aren't on your radar.

你没注意到的方面 可能带来的影响。

And think about how changing to working from home

想一想改成居家办公

might actually affect others in your team.

会怎样影响其他团队成员。

In fact, make a table summarizing the parts of your job

实际上，可以把你的 工作内容制成表格，

that can be done remotely

包括可以远程完成的，

and the parts that require face-to-face interaction.

和必须面对面交流 才能完成的部分。

This may sound like a lot to do,

听起来这很费事，

but when the person you're negotiating with

但是当谈判对象

sees that you've done all this homework,

看到你都做好了功课，

you're more likely to get that "yes."

你就更可能得到批准。

It also helps you avoid being lied to while building the person's respect.

这也可以让你防止受骗， 同时又赢得了他人的尊重。

Second, prepare mentally for the negotiation.

第二，为谈判做好心理准备。

Asking for things can get emotional.

向他人索取可能会让人情绪激动。

There are real and complex feelings at play:

以下是可能出现的 真实又复杂的心情：

fear, anxiety, anger, even hurt.

恐惧、焦虑、愤怒，甚至是受挫。

It's essential to have strategies in place to manage those feelings.

最好提前准备好策略 应对这些感觉。

One strategy is to adopt a mindset of defensive pessimism.

策略之一可以是保持防御性悲观。

That just means that you accept

意思是你准备迎接

obstacles and failures are likely in a negotiation.

谈判可能会出现的阻碍和失败。

So it's better to put your energy in imagining

所以你最好把精力花在

the ways to overcome those obstacles.

思考如何克服这些困难。

That way, you’re ready to respond when you face it.

这样，困难来临时， 你已经做好了准备。

Another strategy is emotional distancing.

另一个策略是保持情绪距离。

That is the idea of being less attached to any specific outcome.

意思是不要依赖任何特定的结果。

I know it's easier said than done.

我知道说起来 可比做起来简单得多。

We all feel emotions like anger and hurt

当我们的核心认同被威胁时，

when our core identities are being threatened.

我们都会有像愤怒和受挫 这样的情绪。

When your manager may be challenging a truth that you hold dear about yourself,

当经理质疑你珍视的自我认知时，

like you’re a hard worker and you deserve this,

比如你工作认真，这是你应得的，

try and avoid thinking of negotiations as the ultimate test of your worth.

你就可以试着避免把谈判当作 对你自身价值的终极审判。

Go in knowing that your request might be met, that it might be denied,

记住，你的请求可能 会被满足，也有可能不被满足，

and that none of this is a measure of your worth.

但是这些都不是 你的价值的衡量标准。

Also know that if you feel yourself getting upset, hurt during a negotiation,

另外，如果谈判中 你感到沮丧、受伤，

it's OK to step back.

后退一步也没有关系。

You can leave the dance floor and move up to the balcony.

你可以离开舞池，上到包厢。

Just say, "Let me think about this a little more.

就说：“我再想想吧。

Could we press pause and continue this tomorrow?"

我们可不可以暂停，明天再谈？”

The third and the final way you can prepare for negotiations

第三个也是最后一个 建议是，你可以

is by putting yourself in the other person's shoes.

站在对方的角度准备谈判。

Taking the time to anticipate the other's needs and challenges.

花点时间思考对方的需求和挑战。

What pressures may they be under?

他们遭受着什么压力？

What risks would they be taking?

他们会冒什么风险？

Do they even have the power to give you what you're asking for?

他们到底有没有 满足你请求的能力？

What ripple effects might a "yes" mean?

一个“同意”会造成 什么连锁反应？

When you make that request,

你在提出请求的时候，

look to balance assertiveness about your own needs

要记得平衡对自己需求的坚决

with a concern for the other.

和为对方的考虑。

As you lay out your case, use phrases like,

在陈述你的情况的时候， 用这样的说法比如

“I’m asking for this because I know it’s good for my team.

“我知道这对我的团队很好， 所以我提出这样的请求。”

That I want to achieve X and Y goals, and I know this is what will enable it.”

“我想达到甲和乙目标， 我知道这么做可以达成。”

Arguments like that show that you are ambitious,

这样的叙述可以 显示出你很有野心，

you know what you want, but you also care for others.

你知道你想要什么， 但是你又关心他人。

So many of our negotiation missteps,

所以很多谈判失败

they don't actually come from disagreements

并不是因为分歧，

but misunderstanding the other person.

而是因为误解了对方。

So it's important to listen well, to ask why and why not?

所以仔细听清楚，问问为什么、 为什么不，非常重要。

And you will surely find unexpected opportunities

你一定能发现制造 双赢局面的意外机会。

for win-win solutions.