The uncomplicated truth about women's sexuality | Sarah Barmak

Translator: Leslie Gauthier Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz

Prevodilac: Kristina Radosavljević Lektor: Ivana Korom

In our culture we tend to see sex

U našoj kulturi imamo tendenciju

as something that's more important to men than it is to women.

da seks posmatramo kao nešto što je važnije muškarcima nego ženama.

But that's not true.

Ali to nije istina.

What is true is that women often feel more shame in talking about it.

Ono što je istina je da je žene često više sramota da pričaju o tome.

Over half of women quietly suffer from some kind of sexual dysfunction.

Više od polovine žena tiho pati od neke vrste seksualne disfunkcije.

We've been hearing more about the orgasm gap.

Dosta smo slušali o jazu u orgazmu.

It's kind of like the wage gap but stickier ...

To je nešto slično jazu u platama, samo malo lepljivije...

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Straight women tend to reach climax

Heteroseksualne žene obično dostižu vrhunac

less than 60 percent of the time they have sex.

prilikom seksa u manje od 60 procenata.

Men reach climax 90 percent of the time they have sex.

Muškarci dostižu vrhunac u 90 posto slučajeva prilikom seksa.

To address these issues, women have been sold flawed medication,

Kako bi rešili problem, ženama se prodaju pogrešni lekovi,

testosterone creams ...

testoteronske kreme...

even untested genital injections.

čak i netestirane genitalne injekcije.

The thing is, female sexuality can't be fixed with a pill.

Stvar je u tome da ženska seksualnost ne može da se popravi pilulama.

That's because it's not broken:

Zato što ona nije pokvarena,

it's misunderstood.

već samo pogrešno protumačena.

Our culture has had a skewed and medically incorrect picture

Naša kultura ima iskrivljenu i medicinski neispravnu sliku

of female sexuality

ženske seksualnosti

going back centuries.

i to već vekovima unazad.

If over half of women have some kind of sexual problem,

Ako više od polovine žena ima neki seksualni problem,

maybe our idea of sexuality doesn't work for women.

možda naše viđenje seksualnosti nije primenljivo kod žena.

We need a clearer understanding of how women actually work.

Potrebno nam je jasnije razumevanje kako žene u stvari funcionišu.

I'm a journalist,

Ja sam novinarka

and I recently wrote a book

i nedavno sam napisala knjigu

about how our understanding of female sexuality is evolving.

o tome kako naše shvatanje ženske seksualnosti evoluira.

So sexuality itself was defined back when men dominated science.

Seksualnost je, sama po sebi definisana u vreme kada su muškarci vladali naukom.

Male scientists tended to see the female body

Muški naučnici su pokušali da vide žensko telo

through their own skewed lens.

kroz njihov iskrivljen pogled.

They could've just asked women about their experience.

Mogli su jednostavno da pitaju žene o njihovom iskustvu.

Instead they probed the female body like it was a foreign landscape.

Umesto toga, oni su ispitivali žensko telo kao da je to neka strana teritorija.

Even today we debate the existence of female ejaculation and the G-spot

Čak i danas raspravljamo o postojanju ženske ejakulacije i G-tačke

like we're talking about aliens or UFOs.

kao da govorimo o vanzemaljcima ili NLO-ima.

"Are they really out there?"

„Da li stvarno postoje?”

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

All this goes double for LGBTQI women's sexuality,

Sve ovo se duplira kada je reč o LGBT zajednici i ženskoj seksualnosti,

which has been hated and erased in specific ways.

koja je omražena i izbrisana na određeni način.

Ignorance about the female body goes back centuries.

Nepoznavanje ženskog tela se proteže vekovima.

It goes back to the beginning of modern medicine.

Sve od početaka moderne medicine.

Cast your mind back to the 16th century,

Prebacite svoj um u 16. vek,

a time of scientific revolution in Europe.

vreme naučne revolucije u Evropi.

Men of ideas were challenging old dogmas.

Ljudi sa idejama su rušili stare dogme.

They were building telescopes to gaze up at the stars.

Pravili su teleskope kako bi gledali ka zvezdama.

We were making progress ...

Napredovali smo...

sometimes.

ponekad.

You see, the fathers of anatomy --

Vidite, očevi anatomije...

and I say "fathers" because, let's face it, they were all dudes --

a kažem „očevi” zato što, budimo iskreni, sve su bili tipovi -

were poking about between women's legs

su prčkali između ženskih nogu

and trying to classify what they saw.

pokušavajući da klasifikuju ono što vide.

They weren't quite sure what to do with the clitoris.

Nisu bili baš sigurni šta da rade sa klitorisom.

It didn't appear to have anything to do with making babies.

Izgleda da nije imao nikakve veze sa pravljenjem beba.

The leading anatomist at the time declared

Vodeći anatom toga vremena, izjavio je

that it was probably some kind of abnormal growth --

da je to verovatno neka vrsta anomalije u vidu izrasline -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

and that any woman who had one was probably a hermaphrodite.

i da je svaka žena, koja je ima verovatno hermafrodit.

It got so bad that parents would sometimes have their daughter's clitoris cut off

To je otišlo toliko daleko da su roditelji ponekad odsecali klitoris svojim ćerkama

if it was deemed too large.

ako bi procenili da je prevelik.

That's right.

Tako je.

Something we think of today as female genital mutilation

Nešto što mi danas smatramo sakaćenjem ženskih genitalija,

was practiced in the West as late as the 20th century.

je nešto što je praktikovano na Zapadu sve do 20. veka,

You have to wonder:

Morate se zapitati:

if they were that confused about women's bodies,

ako su baš toliko bili zbunjeni ženskim telom,

why didn't they just ask women for a little help?

zašto jednostavno nisu pitali žene za malo pomoći?

But you must be thinking, "All that was history.

Verovatno mislite: „To je sve prošlost.

It's a different world now.

Danas je drugačije.

Women have everything.

Žene imaju sve.

They have the birth control pill,

Imaju kontraceptivnu pilulu,

they have sexting and Tinder and vajazzling."

imaju seksting, Tinder i kristale za intimne delove tela”.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Things must be better now.

Mora da je situacija sada bolja.

But medical ignorance of the female body continues.

Uprkos tome, medicinsko nepoznavanje ženskog tela se nastavlja.

How many of you recognize this?

Koliko vas prepoznaje šta je ovo?

It's the full structure of the clitoris.

Ovo je celovita struktura klitorisa.

We think of the clitoris as this little pea-sized nub,

Mi mislimo da je klitoris kao zrno graška,

but actually it extends deep into the body.

a u stvarnosti on ima produžetak koji je duboko u telu.

Most of it lies under the skin.

Veći njegov deo nalazi se pod kožom.

It contains almost as much erectile tissue as the penis.

Sadrži skoro jednaku količinu erekcijskog tkiva kao i penis.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Divan je, zar ne?

It looks a little like a swan.

Liči pomalo na labuda.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

This sculpture is by an artist named Sophia Wallace

Ovo je skulptura umetnice Sofije Voles

as part of her "Cliteracy" project.

i deo je njenog projekta „Kliteratura”.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

She believes we need more "cliteracy,"

Ona smatra da nam treba više „kliterature”,

and it's true, considering that this structure

i to je istina, s obzirom da su ova struktura

was only fully 3-D mapped by researchers in 2009.

istraživači mapirali u 3-D tek 2009. godine.

That was after we finished mapping the entire human genome.

To se desilo nakon što smo završili mapiranje celokupnog ljudskog genoma.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

This ignorance has real-life consequences.

Ovo neznanje ima stvarne životne posledice.

In a medical journal in 2005,

U medicinskom dnevniku iz 2005. godine,

Dr. Helen O'Connell, a urologist,

Dr Helen O'Konol, urolog,

warned her colleagues that this structure was still nowhere to be found

je upozorila svoje kolege da ova struktura ne može da se nađe

in basic medical journals --

nigde u osnovnim medicinskim časopisisma -

textbooks like "Gray's Anatomy."

priručnicima kao što je „Grejova Anatomija”.

This could have serious consequences for surgery.

Ovo bi moglo da ima ozbiljne posledice za hirurgiju.

Take this in.

Zapamtite ovo.

Gentlemen:

Gospodo,

imagine if you were at risk of losing your penis

zamislite da ste u opasnosti da izgubite svoj penis

because doctors weren't totally sure where it was

zato što doktori nisu baš sigurni gde se on nalazi

or what it looked like.

ili kako izgleda.

Unsurprisingly,

Potpuno očekivano,

many women aren't too clear on their own genital anatomy either.

mnoge žene takođe nisu baš upoznate sa anatomijom svojih genitalija.

You can't really blame them.

Ne možete ih baš ni kriviti.

The clitoris is often missing from many sex-ed diagrams, too.

Klitoris često nedostaje i na mnogim dijagramima iz seksualnog obrazovanja.

Women can sense that their culture views their bodies with confusion at best,

Žene osećaju da njihova kultura, najblaže rečeno gleda zbunjeno na njihova tela,

outright disdain and disgust at worst.

a u najgorem slučaj, sa prezirom i gađenjem.

Many women still view their own genitals as dirty or inadequate.

Mnoge žene i danas smatraju svoje genitalije prljavim ili neadekvatnim.

They're increasingly comparing their vulvas

Sve češće porede svoju stidnicu

with the neat and tiny ones they see in pornography.

sa onim malim koje vide u pornografiji.

It's one reason why labiaplasty is becoming a skyrocketing business

To je jedan od razloga zbog koga je labioplastika postala toliko popularna

among women and teen girls.

kod žena i tinejdžerki.

Some people feel that all this is a trivial issue.

Neki ljudi misle da je ovo nebitan problem.

I was writing my book when I was at a dinner party

Dok sam pisala knjigu, bila sam na nekoj zabavi

and someone said, "Isn't sexuality a first-world problem?

i neko je rekao: „Nije li seksualnost nebitan problem?

Aren't women dealing with more important issues all over the world?"

Zar se žene širom sveta ne bave mnogo važnijim problemima?”

Of course they are.

Naravno da se bave.

But I think the impulse to trivialize sex is part of our problem.

Ali ja smatram da je nagon da se seks učini nebitnim, takođe deo problema.

We live in a culture that seems obsessed with sex.

Živimo u kulturi koja je očigledno opsednuta seksom.

We use it to sell everything.

Koristimo ga da bi prodali sve i svašta.

We tell women that looking sexy

Govorimo ženama

is one of the most important things you can do.

da je najvažnije izgledati seksi.

But what we really do is we belittle sex.

Ali ono što u stvari radimo je omalovažavanje seksa.

We reduce it to a sad shadow of what it truly is.

Mi ga svodimo na bledu senku onoga što seks u stvari jeste.

Sex is more than just an act.

Seks je više od čina.

I spoke with Dr. Lori Brotto,

Pričala sam sa dr Lori Broto,

a psychologist who treats sexual issues in women,

psihologom koja leči seksualne poremećaje kod žena.

including survivors of trauma.

uključujući i one koje su preživele neku traumu.

She says the hundreds of women she sees all tend to repeat the same thing.

Ona tvrdi da stotine žena koje viđa ponavljaju jednu te istu stvar.

They say, "I don't feel whole."

One kažu: „Ne osećam se kompletna.”

They feel they've lost a connection with their partners and themselves.

Osećaju kao da su izgubile vezu sa svojim partnerom i samom sobom.

So what is sex?

Šta je onda seks?

We've traditionally defined the act of sex

Definisali smo čin seksa

as a linear, goal-oriented process.

kao linearan proces, orjentisan postizanju cilja.

It's something that starts with lust,

To je nešto što počinje sa požudom,

continues to heavy petting

nastavlja se petingom

and finishes with a happy ending.

i ima srećan završetak.

Except many women don't experience it this way.

Samo što ga mnoge žene ne doživljavaju tako.

It's less linear for them and more circular.

Za njih je to više kružni nego linearan proces.

This is a new model of women's arousal and desire

Ovo je novi model uzbuđenja i želja kod žena,

developed by Dr. Rosemary Basson.

koji je razvila dr Rozmari Bason.

It says many things,

On govori o mnogo čemu,

including that women can begin an encounter for many different reasons

uključujući i činjenicu da žene mogu započeti čin iz brojnih razloga

that aren't desire,

a ne samo želje,

like curiosity.

npr radoznalost.

They can finish with a climax or multiple climaxes,

Mogu imati jedan ili više vrhunaca,

or satisfaction without a climax at all.

ili zadovoljstvo bez vrhunca.

All options are normal.

Sve opcije su normalne.

Some people are starting to champion a richer definition of sexuality.

Neki ljudi postaju pobornici šire definicije seksualnosti.

Whether you identify as male, female or neither gender,

Bilo da se deklarišete kao muškarac, žena ili nijedno od polova,

sex is about our relationship to the senses.

seks je u stvari naš odnos prema čulima.

It's about slowing down,

Reč je o usporavnju,

listening to the body,

slušanju tela,

coming into the present moment.

fokusiranju na sadašnji momenat.

It's about our whole health and well-being.

Reč je o našem celokupnom zdravlju i dobrobiti.

In other words,

Drugim rečima,

sex at its true breadth isn't profane,

seks u svojoj osnovi nije skrnava,

it's sacred.

već sveta stvar.

That's one reason why women are redefining their sexuality today.

To je jedan od razloga zbog koga žene danas redefinišu svoju seksualnost.

They're asking: What is sex for me?

Pitaju se: Šta za mene predstavlja seks?

So they're experimenting with practices that are less about the happy ending --

Eksperimentišu sa praksama koje su manje okrenute srećnom završetku -

more about feeling whole.

a više osećaju celovitosti.

So they're trying out spiritual sex classes,

Isprobavaju duhovne seksualne vežbe -

masturbation workshops --

radionice masturbacije -

even shooting their own porn

čak snimaju i svoje porno filmove

that celebrates the diversity of real bodies.

u čast različitosti stvarnih tela.

For anyone who still feels this is a trivial issue, consider this:

Za sve one koji još uvek smatraju ovo nevažnim problemom, razmislite:

understanding your body is crucial to the huge issue

razumevanje svog tela je od presudnog značaja

of sex education and consent.

za ogroman problem seksualnog obrazovanja i pristanka.

By deeply, intimately knowing what kind of touch feels right,

Znajući u dubini duše kakav dodir vam prija,

what pressure, what speed, what context,

koji pritisak, koja brzina, kontekst,

you can better know what kind of touch feels wrong

bolje možete prepoznati koji dodir je pogrešan

and have the confidence to say so.

i imati samopouzdanje da to izgovorite.

This isn't ultimately about women having more or better sex.

Ovde nije reč o tome da žene imaju više seksa ili bolji seks.

It's not about making sure women have as many orgasms as men.

Niti o tome da se osigura da žene imaju isti broj orgazama kao muškarci.

It's about accepting yourself and your own unique experience.

Reč je o prihvatanju sebe i svog jedinstvenog iskustva.

It's about you being the expert on your body.

O tome da vi postanete ekspert svog tela.

It's about defining pleasure and satisfaction on your terms.

O definisanju zadovoljstva pod vašim uslovima.

And if that means you're happiest having no sex at all,

Ako to znači da ste najsretniji bez seksa,

that's perfect, too.

i to je u redu.

If we define sex as part of our whole health and well-being,

Ako definišemo seks kao deo opšteg zdravlja i dobrobiti,

then empowering women and girls to fully own it

onda je podrška ženama i devojkama da ga u potpunosti poseduju

is a crucial next step toward equality.

najznačajniji korak ka jednakosti.

And I think it would be a better world not just for women

Ja smatram da bi svet bio bolji, ne samo za žene,

but for everyone.

nego za sve.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)