How teachers can help students navigate trauma | Lisa Godwin

Prevodilac: Dragana Savanovic Lektor: Ivana Korom

Everyone has a story,

Svako ima priču,

and that story is filled with chapters

ispunjenu poglavljima

that have made us who we are today.

koja su nas učinila onakvima kakvi smo danas.

Those early chapters of that story

Ta rana poglavlja te priče

sometimes are the ones that define us the most.

su ponekad ona koja nas najviše definišu.

The Center for Disease Control

Centar za kontrolu bolesti

has estimated that over half of our nation's children

procenjuje da je više od polovine dece našeg naroda

have experienced at least one or two types of childhood trauma.

iskusilo bar jednu ili dve vrste traume u detinjstvu.

That adversity can have lasting effects.

Takve nesreće mogu imati trajne posledice.

When I began to have opportunities to speak

Kada sam stekla mogućnost da govorim

and advocate for students and for teachers,

i da se zalažem za učenike i nastavnike,

I found myself uniquely positioned

našla sam se u jedinstvenoj poziciji

to be able to speak about childhood trauma.

da govorim o traumi u detinjstvu.

But I had to make a decision first.

Ali, prvo sam morala da odlučim nešto.

I had to decide,

Morala sam da odlučim

did I want to just share the bright and shiny parts of my life,

da li želim da delim samo lepe delove svog života,

you know, those ones that we put out on social media

znate, one koje stavljamo na društvene mreže

that make us all look perfect,

i čine da izgledamo savršeno,

or did I want to make myself vulnerable

ili želim da učinim sebe ranjivom

and become an open book?

i postanem otvorena knjiga?

The choice became very clear.

Izbor je postao vrlo jasan.

In order to make a difference in the life of a child,

Kako bih promenila nešto u životu jednog deteta,

I had to become transparent.

morala sam da budem iskrena.

So I made the commitment to tell my personal story.

Tako da sam se obavezala da ispričam svoju ličnu priču.

And this story is filled with people that have loved me

A ona je puna ljudi koji su me voleli

and taken care of me and grown me.

i brinuli o meni i odgajali me.

And have helped me overcome and heal.

I koji su mi pomogli da se oporavim i izlečim.

And now it's time for me to help others do the same.

A sada je vreme da pomognem drugima da urade isto to.

When I first started school, I was the picture of normalcy.

Kada sam pošla u školu, bila sam slika i prilika normalnog.

I was from a good family,

Bila sam iz dobre porodice,

I was always dressed nicely,

uvek sam bila lepo obučena,

had a smile on my face,

imala osmeh na licu,

I was prepared for school.

bila sam spremna za školu.

But my life was anything but normal.

Ali moj život je bio sve ali ne normalan.

By this time, I had already become a victim of sexual abuse.

Do tada, već sam bila postala žrtva seksualnog zlostavljanja.

And it was still happening.

Koje se i dalje događalo.

My parents didn't know,

Moji roditelji nisu znali,

and I had not told anyone else.

a ja nisam rekla nikom drugom.

When I started school, I felt like this was going to be my safe place.

Kada sam krenula u školu, osećala sam da će to biti moje bezbedno mesto.

So I was excited.

Bila sam uzbuđena.

Imagine my dismay when I met my teacher,

Zamislite moje iznenađenje kada sam upoznala svog učitelja,

Mr. Randolph.

gdina Randolfa.

Now Mr. Randolph was not my abuser.

Gdin Randolf nije bio moj zlostavljač.

But Mr. Randolph was the epitome

Ali je bio otelotvorenje

of everything that scared me the most in my life.

svega što me je najviše plašilo u životu.

I had already started these self-preservation techniques

Već sam bila počela sa tehnikama samoočuvanja

to where I took myself out of positions where I was going to be alone with a man.

tako što sam izbegavala situacije u kojima bih bila sama sa muškarcem.

And here I was, as a student,

I eto me, u školi,

I was going to be in a classroom with a man every day,

gde je trebalo da budem sa muškarcem u učionici svaki dan,

for a year of school.

tokom cele školske godine.

I was scared; I didn't trust him.

Bila sam uplašena; nisam mu verovala.

But you know what,

Ali, znate šta,

Mr. Randolph would turn out to be my greatest advocate.

na kraju je ispalo da se gdin Randolf najviše zalagao za mene.

But in the beginning,

Ali na početku,

oh, I made sure he knew I did not like him.

uf, postarala sam se da zna da mi se ne sviđa.

I was noncompliant;

Bila sam neposlušna;

I was that kid that was disengaged.

bila sam ono dete koje je isključeno.

And I also made it really hard on my parents, too.

Takođe sam zadavala teškoće i svojim roditeljima.

I didn't want to go to school,

Nisam htela da idem u školu,

so I fought them every morning, getting on the bus.

pa sam se svađala svakog jutra s njima dok sam ulazila u autobus.

At night, I couldn't sleep,

Noću nisam mogla da spavam,

because my anxiety was so high.

jer sam bila jako anksiozna.

So I was going into class exhausted.

Tako da sam išla na nastavu iscrpljena.

Which, exhausted children are cranky children,

A isrcpljena deca su nervozna deca,

and they're not easy to teach,

i nije im lako predavati,

you know that.

to znate.

Mr. Randolph could have approached me with frustration,

Gdin Randolf je mogao da mi pristupi isfrustrirano,

like so many teachers do with students like me.

kao što mnogo nastavnika radi sa učenicima kao što sam ja.

But not him.

Ali on ne.

He approached me with empathy

On mi je pristupio empatično

and with flexibility.

i fleksibilno.

I was so grateful for that.

Bila sam toliko zahvalna na tome.

He saw this six-year-old was tired and weary.

Video je da je ova šestogodišnjakinja bila umorna i iscrpljena.

And so instead of making me go outside for recess,

Umesto da me tera da idem napolje na odmoru,

he would let me stay in and take naps,

puštao me je da ostanem unutra i odremam,

because he knew I needed rest.

jer je znao da mi treba odmor.

Instead of sitting at the teacher table at lunch,

Umesto da sedi sa nastavnicima za stolom za vreme ručka,

he would come and sit with the students at the student table.

došao bi i seo sa učenicima za njihovim stolom.

He would engage me and all my classmates in conversation.

Uključio bi mene i sve moje drugare u razgovor.

And I now look back and I know

Sada kada se prisetim znam

he had a purpose for that,

da je to radio sa ciljem,

he was listening, he was asking questions.

slušao je, postavljao je pitanja.

He needed to find out what was going on.

Morao je da sazna šta se dešava.

He built a relationship with me.

Izgradio je odnos sa mnom

He earned my trust.

Zaslužio je moje poverenje.

And slowly but surely,

I polako ali sigurno,

those walls that I had built around myself

ti zidovi koje sam izgradila oko sebe

he started chipping away at,

počeli su da se ruše,

and I eventually realized he was one of the good guys.

i na kraju sam shvatila da je on bio jedan od dobrih momaka.

I know that he felt like he wasn't enough.

Znam da je osećao kao da on nije dovoljan.

Because he made the move to talk to my mom.

Jer je napravio korak i pričao sa mojom mamom.

And got my mom's permission

I dobio maminu dozvolu

to let me start seeing a school guidance counselor,

da me pusti da viđam školskog savetnika,

Ms. McFadyen.

gđu Makfaden.

I started seeing Ms. McFadyen once or twice a week

Počela sam da viđam gđu Makfaden jednom ili dvaput nedeljno

for the next two years.

u naredne dve godine.

It was a process.

To je bio proces.

During that time period,

Tokom tog perioda,

I never disclosed to her the abuse,

nikada joj se nisam poverila o zlostavljanju,

because it was a secret;

jer je bilo tajna;

I wasn't supposed to tell.

nije trebalo da kažem.

But she connected the dots, I know she did,

Ali sabrala je dva i dva, znam da jeste,

because everything that she did with me

jer sve što je radila sa mnom

was to empower me and help me find my voice.

bilo je u cilju da me osnaži i pomogne mi da nađem svoj glas.

She taught me how to use mental images

Naučila me je kako da koristim mentalne slike

to push through my fears.

da se probijem kroz svoje strahove.

She taught me breathing techniques

Naučila me je tehnikama disanja

to help me get through those anxiety attacks

da mi pomognu da prođem kroz napade panike

that I would have so often.

koje sam imala jako često.

And she role-played with me.

Igrala se uloga sa mnom.

And she made sure

I pobrinula se

that I could stand up for myself in situations.

da umem da se zauzmem za sebe u situacijama.

And the day came

I došao je dan

where I was in the room with my abuser

kada sam bila u sobi sa svojim zlostavljačem

and one other adult.

i još jednim odraslim.

And I told my truth.

I rekla sam svoju istinu.

I told about the abuse.

Progovorila sam o zlostavljanju.

Immediately, my abuser began to deny,

Istog trenutka, moj zlostavljač je počeo da poriče,

and the person I disclosed to,

a osoba kojoj sam se poverila,

they just weren't equipped to handle the bombshell

jednostavno nije bila spremna da se snađe sa bombom

that I had just dropped on them.

koju sam bila bacila na nju.

It was easier to believe the abuser

Bilo je lakše verovati zlostavljaču

rather than a child.

nego detetu.

So I was told never to speak of it again.

Rečeno mi je da nikada više ne pričam o tome.

I was made to feel like I had done something wrong, again.

Učinili su da se opet osećam kao da sam uradila nešto pogrešno.

It was devastating.

Bilo je poražavajuće.

But you know what,

Ali znate šta,

something good came out of that day.

nešto dobro je proizašlo iz tog dana.

My abuser knew that I was no longer going to be silent.

Moj zlostavljač je znao da neću više ćutati.

The power shifted.

Moć se promenila.

And the abuse stopped.

I zlostavljanje je prestalo.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

But the shame

Ali sram

and fear of it happening again

i strah da će se ponoviti

remained.

su ostali.

And it would remain with me

I ostaće sa mnom

for many, many years to come.

još mnogo, mnogo godina.

Mr. Randolph and Ms. McFadyen,

Gdin Randolf i gđa Makfaden

they helped me find my voice.

su mi pomogli da nađem svoj glas.

They helped me find the light out.

Pomogli su mi da pronađem izlaz.

But you know what,

Ali, znate šta,

there are so many kids that aren't as fortunate as me.

postoji toliko dece koja nemaju sreće kao ja.

And you have them in your classrooms.

I imate ih u svojim učionicama.

That is why it's so important for me to talk to you today,

Zato mi je jako važno da pričam sa vama danas,

so you can be aware

kako biste bili svesni

and you can start asking the questions that need to be asked

i kako biste počeli da postavljate pitanja koja treba da se postave

and paying attention to these students,

i da obratite pažnju na ovakve učenike,

so you too can help them find their way.

kako biste i vi mogli da im pomognete da pronađu svoj put.

As a kindergarten teacher,

Kao vaspitačica u vrtiću,

I start my year off

godinu počinjem

with my kids making box biographies.

tako što sa svojom decom pravim kutije biografija.

These are two of my students.

Ovo su moja dva učenika.

And I encourage them

Ja ih podstičem

to fill those boxes with things that tell me about them

da ispune kutije stvarima koje mi govore o njima

and about their life,

i njihovom životu,

what's important to you, you know?

o stvarima koje su im važne, znate?

They decorate them,

Oni ih ukrase,

I mean, they really take time,

mislim, stvarno se tome posvete,

they fill them with pictures of their families and of their pets,

napune ih slikama porodice i ljubimaca,

and then I let them present them to me and to the class.

i onda ih zamolim da ih predstave meni i razredu.

And during that time, I am an active listener.

I dok oni to rade, ja sam aktivni slušalac.

Because the things they say,

Jer stvari koje kažu,

the facial expressions that they give me,

izrazi lica koje naprave,

the things they don't say

stvari koje ne kažu

can become red flags for me

mogu biti crvena zastavica za mene

and can help me figure out what their needs are.

i mogu mi pomoći da shvatim koje su njihove potrebe.

What is driving them

Šta ih podstiče

to maybe have the behaviors that they're showing me in class.

da se možda ponašaju onako kako mi pokazuju na času.

How can I be a better teacher

Kako ja mogu biti bolji nastavnik

by listening to their voices?

slušajući njih?

I also make times to develop relationships with them,

Takođe, pronađem vremena da razvijem veze sa njima,

much like Mr. Randolph did with me.

kao što je gdin Randolf sa mnom.

I sit with them at lunch,

Sedim sa njima na ručku,

I have conversations with them at recess,

razgovaram sa njima na odmoru,

I go to their games on the weekends,

idem na njihove utakmice vikendima,

I go to their dance recitals.

na njhove priredbe.

I become a part of their life.

Postanem deo njihovog života.

Because in order to really know a student,

Jer da biste stvarno upoznali učenika

you've got to infuse yourself into their lives.

morate da uđete u njihove živote.

Now I know some of you are middle school teachers

Znam da su neki od vas nastavnici u osnovnoj

and high school teachers,

i srednjoj školi,

and you might think that those kids

i možda ćete misliti da su se ta deca

have already kind of developed, and you know,

već razvila na neki način, i znate,

they're on autopilot at that point.

u tom trenutku su na autopilotu.

But don't be deceived.

Ali ne dajte da vas to prevari.

Especially the kids that you think have it all together,

Pogotovo deca za koju mislite da drže sve pod kontrolom,

because those are the ones that might need you the most.

jer oni vas možda trebaju najviše.

If you were to look at my yearbook,

Kada biste pogledali moj godišjnak,

you would see me on about every page,

videli biste me na otprilike svakoj strani,

because I was involved in everything.

jer sam bila uključena u sve.

I even drove a school bus.

Čak sam vozila i školski autobus.

(Laughs)

(Smeh)

So I was that kid

Bila sam ono dete

that teachers thought was the overachiever,

za koje su nastavnici mislili da je natprosečno,

the popular person,

popularno,

the one that had it together.

da drži sve pod kontrolom.

But guys, I was lost.

Ali ljudi, bila sam izgubljena.

I was lost,

Bila sam izgubljena,

and I wanted someone to ask me,

i želela sam da me neko pita:

"Lisa, why are you here all the time,

„Lisa, zašto si ovde stalno

why are you throwing yourself into all these things?"

zašto se baviš svim tim stvarima?“

Did they ever wonder,

Da li su se ikada pitali

was I running away from someone,

da li bežim od nekoga,

was I running away from something?

da li bežim od nečega?

Why did I not want to be in my community

Zašto nisam želela da budem u svojoj zajednici

or in my home?

ili u svom domu?

Why did I want to be at school all the time?

Zašto sam htela da budem u školi sve vreme?

No one ever asked.

Niko nikada nije pitao.

Now don't get me wrong,

Nemojte me shvatiti pogrešno

all overachievers in your schools

nisu sva natprosečna deca u vašoj školi

are not victims of abuse or trauma.

žrtve nasilja ili traume.

But I just want you to take the time to be curious.

Ali samo želim da izdvojite vreme i budete radoznali.

Ask them why.

Pitajte ih zašto.

You may find out that there is a reason behind it.

Možda ćete saznati da postoji razlog iza toga.

You could be the reason that they move forward

Možda ćete vi biti razlog da ta osoba ispriča

with their story.

svoju priču.

Be careful not to assume

Budite pažljivi da ne pretpostavljate

that you already know the ending to their story.

odmah da znate kraj njihove priče.

Don't put a period where a semicolon should be.

Ne stavljajte tačku tamo gde bi trebalo da je zarez.

Keep that story going

Nastavite tu priču

and help them know that even if something has happened traumatic to them,

i pomozite im da znaju da je, čak i ako im se desilo nešto traumatično,

that their life is still worth telling.

njihov život vredan pričanja.

Their story is worth telling.

Njihova priča je vredna pričanja.

Now in order to do that,

Kako biste uradili to,

I really feel like we have to embrace our own personal stories as educators.

stvarno mislim da, kao edukatori, morate da prihvatite svoje lične priče.

Many of you might be sitting there

Mnogi od vas možda sede ovde

and thinking, "Yeah.

i misle „Da.

That happened to me.

To se desilo meni.

But I'm not ready to share."

Ali nisam spreman da to podelim.“

And that's OK.

I to je ok.

The time will come

Doći će vreme

when you will feel it inside your soul

kada ćete osetiti unutar svoje duše

that it's time to turn your past pain

da je vreme da pretvorite svoj bol iz prošlosti

into purpose for the future.

u svrhu za budućnost.

These children are our future.

Ova deca su naša budućnost.

I just encourage you to take it day by day.

Samo vas ohrabrujem da idete dan po dan.

Talk to someone.

Pričajte sa nekim.

Be willing and just open.

Pokažite volju i samo se otvorite.

My life story came full circle

Moja životna priča je dostigla pun krug

in the spring of 2018,

u proleće 2018. godine,

where I was invited to speak

kada sam pozvana da govorim

to a group of beginning teachers and mentors.

pred grupom nastavnika i mentora početnika.

I shared my story, much like today with you,

Podelila sam svoju priču, kao što sam danas sa vama,

and afterwards I had a lady approach me.

i nakon toga mi je prišla jedna dama.

She had tears in her eyes and she quietly said, "Thank you.

Oči su joj bile pune suza i tiho je rekla: „Hvala.

Thank you for sharing.

Hvala što ste podelili.

I cannot wait to tell my dad

Ne mogu da dočekam da kažem tati

everything that I heard today."

sve što sam čula danas.“

She must have seen the perplexed look on my face,

Verovatno je videla zbunjen izraz na mom licu,

because she followed up by saying,

jer je nakon toga rekla:

"Mr. Randolph is my dad."

„Gdin Randolf je moj otac.“

Audience: Aww.

Publika: Jaaao.

Lisa Godwin: "And he often wonders:

Lisa Godvin: „I često se pita:

Did he make a difference?

da li je promenio nešto?

Today, I get to go home and tell him,

Danas, mogu da odem kući i da mu kažem

'You definitely made a difference.'"

da je definitivno promenio.“

What a gift.

Kakav dar.

What a gift.

Kakav dar.

And that prompted me

I to me je podstaklo

to reach out to Ms. McFadyen's daughter as well,

da potražim i kćerku gđe Makfaden,

and to share with her

i podelim sa njom

what an impact Ms. McFadyen had made.

kakav uticaj je gđa Makfaden napravila.

And I wanted her to know

I htela sam da zna

I have advocated for more funding

da sam se zalagala za više sredstava

for guidance counselors, for school social workers,

za školske savetnike, za školske socijalne radnike,

for psychologists, for nurses,

za psihologe, medicinske sestre,

because they are so vital to the mental and physical health

jer su tako važni za mentalno i fizičko zdravlje

of our children.

naše dece.

I'm thankful for Ms. McFadyen.

Zahvalna sam na gđi Makfaden.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

I once heard someone say,

Jednom sam čula da je neko rekao da,

in order to find your way out of the darkness,

kako biste našli svoj put iz tame,

you have to find the light.

morate da pronađete svetlost.

Today, I hope that you leave this place

Danas se nadam da ćete otići odavde

and you seek opportunities to be the light.

i potražiti prilike da budete svetlo.

For not only students

Ne samo za učenike

but for adults in your classrooms,

već i odrasle u svojoj učionici,

in your schools, in your communities.

u svojoj školi, zajednici.

You have the gift

Imate dar

to help someone navigate

da pomognete nekome da prođe

through their trauma

kroz svoju traumu

and make their story worth telling.

i učini svoju priču vrednom pričanja.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)