How teachers can help students navigate trauma | Lisa Godwin

翻译人员: Wanting Zhong 校对人员: psjmz mz

Everyone has a story,

每个人都有一个故事，

and that story is filled with chapters

这个故事有许多章节，

that have made us who we are today.

把我们塑造成今天的模样。

Those early chapters of that story

故事里最初的章节

sometimes are the ones that define us the most.

有时是最能定义我们的篇章。

The Center for Disease Control

根据美国疾病控制与预防中心的估计，

has estimated that over half of our nation's children

国内有超过半数儿童

have experienced at least one or two types of childhood trauma.

经历过至少一种或两种 童年创伤。

That adversity can have lasting effects.

这些早年的逆境 会造成长久的影响。

When I began to have opportunities to speak

当我开始有机会

and advocate for students and for teachers,

为学生和教师发声倡议时，

I found myself uniquely positioned

我发现自己处在了一个独特的

to be able to speak about childhood trauma.

能够为童年创伤发声的位置。

But I had to make a decision first.

但我必须先做出一个决定。

I had to decide,

我必须决定，

did I want to just share the bright and shiny parts of my life,

我是只想分享我生活中 光鲜亮丽的部分吗，

you know, those ones that we put out on social media

就是那些我们晒在社交媒体上

that make us all look perfect,

让我们显得完美的部分；

or did I want to make myself vulnerable

还是想把自己变得脆弱，

and become an open book?

变成一本打开的书？

The choice became very clear.

选择已经很清楚了。

In order to make a difference in the life of a child,

为了改变某个孩子的人生，

I had to become transparent.

我必须变得透明。

So I made the commitment to tell my personal story.

于是我立志讲述我个人的故事。

And this story is filled with people that have loved me

这个故事充满了 爱过我的、

and taken care of me and grown me.

照顾过我的、让我成长的人。

And have helped me overcome and heal.

他们帮助我克服困难，治愈伤痛。

And now it's time for me to help others do the same.

而现在到了让我以同样方式 帮助他人的时候。

When I first started school, I was the picture of normalcy.

当我刚开始上学时， 我看上去和普通人一样。

I was from a good family,

我出身良好，

I was always dressed nicely,

总是穿着得体，

had a smile on my face,

脸上带着笑容，

I was prepared for school.

做好上学的准备。

But my life was anything but normal.

但我的人生和普通 完全沾不上边。

By this time, I had already become a victim of sexual abuse.

此时，我已经成为了 性虐待的受害者。

And it was still happening.

并且还在进行中。

My parents didn't know,

我父母并不知道，

and I had not told anyone else.

我也没有告诉任何人。

When I started school, I felt like this was going to be my safe place.

当我开始上学时， 我觉得这会是我的庇护所。

So I was excited.

所以我很兴奋。

Imagine my dismay when I met my teacher,

想象一下，当我遇到我的老师，

Mr. Randolph.

兰道夫先生时感到的惊愕。

Now Mr. Randolph was not my abuser.

兰道夫先生不是性侵我的人。

But Mr. Randolph was the epitome

但兰道夫先生是

of everything that scared me the most in my life.

生活中最让我害怕 的一切的缩影。

I had already started these self-preservation techniques

我已经学会了一些自保手段，

to where I took myself out of positions where I was going to be alone with a man.

让自己不会置身于 要和男人独处的情景。

And here I was, as a student,

而现在，作为一名学生，

I was going to be in a classroom with a man every day,

我整个学年中的每一天

for a year of school.

都得和一个男人在教室中共处。

I was scared; I didn't trust him.

我很害怕；我并不信任他。

But you know what,

但你猜怎么着，

Mr. Randolph would turn out to be my greatest advocate.

兰道夫先生之后会成为 我最有力的支持者。

But in the beginning,

但一开始，

oh, I made sure he knew I did not like him.

我保证他清楚 我不喜欢他。

I was noncompliant;

我不听话；

I was that kid that was disengaged.

我是那个脱离集体的小孩。

And I also made it really hard on my parents, too.

另外我给父母也造成了巨大麻烦。

I didn't want to go to school,

我不想上学，

so I fought them every morning, getting on the bus.

所以我每天早上都和他们闹， 不想上校车。

At night, I couldn't sleep,

晚上，我睡不着觉，

because my anxiety was so high.

因为我太焦虑了。

So I was going into class exhausted.

于是我上课时非常疲惫。

Which, exhausted children are cranky children,

疲惫的小孩会很暴躁，

and they're not easy to teach,

也很难教，

you know that.

你们都懂的。

Mr. Randolph could have approached me with frustration,

兰道夫先生可以选择 恼怒地训斥我，

like so many teachers do with students like me.

就像很多老师 对待我这种学生那样。

But not him.

但他没有这么做。

He approached me with empathy

他对我表现出了

同理心和灵活性。

and with flexibility.

I was so grateful for that.

我对此无比感激。

He saw this six-year-old was tired and weary.

他看到这个又累又倦的六岁小孩。

And so instead of making me go outside for recess,

于是他没有强迫我 在课间时去外面，

he would let me stay in and take naps,

而是让我待在教室里小睡，

because he knew I needed rest.

因为他知道我需要休息。

Instead of sitting at the teacher table at lunch,

午餐时他没有坐在教师席，

he would come and sit with the students at the student table.

而是会过来和学生们一起 坐在学生席上吃饭。

He would engage me and all my classmates in conversation.

他会鼓励我和我所有的同学一起聊天。

And I now look back and I know

现在再回首，我知道

he had a purpose for that,

他当时是特意那么做的，

he was listening, he was asking questions.

他在聆听，在询问。

He needed to find out what was going on.

他想要知道发生了什么事。

He built a relationship with me.

他和我建立起了关系。

He earned my trust.

他赢得了我的信任。

And slowly but surely,

于是慢慢地但也不容置疑地，

those walls that I had built around myself

他开始一点点剥开

he started chipping away at,

我在自己身边筑起的高墙，

and I eventually realized he was one of the good guys.

最终我也意识到了 他是那些好人中的一员。

I know that he felt like he wasn't enough.

我知道他觉得自己做得不够。

Because he made the move to talk to my mom.

因为他下一步是和我妈妈谈话。

And got my mom's permission

并且得到了我妈妈的许可，

to let me start seeing a school guidance counselor,

让我开始去见一位 学校的辅导咨询师，

Ms. McFadyen.

麦克法登女士。

I started seeing Ms. McFadyen once or twice a week

接下来的两年里，

我开始每周和麦克法登女士 见面一到两次。

for the next two years.

It was a process.

这是个过程。

During that time period,

在那段时间里，

I never disclosed to her the abuse,

我从没有跟她透露 我受到的侵害，

because it was a secret;

因为那是个秘密；

I wasn't supposed to tell.

我不应该告诉任何人。

But she connected the dots, I know she did,

但她推理出了真相， 我知道的，

because everything that she did with me

因为她与我做的一切

was to empower me and help me find my voice.

都是为了给我力量， 帮我找到自己的声音。

She taught me how to use mental images

她教我如何使用精神图景

to push through my fears.

克服我的恐惧。

She taught me breathing techniques

她教给我呼吸技巧，

to help me get through those anxiety attacks

帮助我度过那些频频发生

that I would have so often.

的焦虑发作。

And she role-played with me.

她还和我进行角色扮演。

And she made sure

她确保我能

that I could stand up for myself in situations.

在各种情况下捍卫我自己。

And the day came

终于有一天，

where I was in the room with my abuser

我和我的加害者

and one other adult.

以及另一个成年人共处一室。

And I told my truth.

我说出了真相。

I told about the abuse.

我说出了被虐待的事情。

Immediately, my abuser began to deny,

侵犯我的人立刻开始否认，

and the person I disclosed to,

而我诉说真相的那个人

they just weren't equipped to handle the bombshell

也实在不具备应对 我刚刚砸下的惊天炸弹

that I had just dropped on them.

的能力。

It was easier to believe the abuser

比起相信一个小孩，

相信加害者更加轻松。

rather than a child.

So I was told never to speak of it again.

所以他告诫我 再也不要提起这档事。

I was made to feel like I had done something wrong, again.

他再次让我觉得我做错了事。

It was devastating.

这让我深感挫败。

But you know what,

但你们知道吗，

something good came out of that day.

那一天还是有好结果的。

My abuser knew that I was no longer going to be silent.

我的加害者知道了 我不会继续保持沉默。

The power shifted.

权势的平衡发生了改变。

And the abuse stopped.

对我的侵犯也停止了。

(Applause)

（掌声）

But the shame

但受侵犯的耻辱，

and fear of it happening again

以及担心其再度发生的恐惧

remained.

没有消失。

And it would remain with me

并且在未来的很多很多年

for many, many years to come.

都常跟在我身边。

Mr. Randolph and Ms. McFadyen,

兰道夫先生和麦克法登女士

they helped me find my voice.

帮助我找到了自己的声音。

They helped me find the light out.

他们为我照亮了前进的路。

But you know what,

但你们知道吗，

there are so many kids that aren't as fortunate as me.

还有很多孩子没有我那么幸运。

And you have them in your classrooms.

他们就在你的教室里。

That is why it's so important for me to talk to you today,

这也是为什么今天我能 和你们谈话很重要，

so you can be aware

这样各位就能觉察，

and you can start asking the questions that need to be asked

开始问那些必须提出的问题，

and paying attention to these students,

并对这些学生多加留意，

so you too can help them find their way.

这样你们也可以帮助他们 找到前进的道路。

As a kindergarten teacher,

作为一名幼儿园老师，

I start my year off

我在学年开始时

with my kids making box biographies.

教孩子们制作 “简历盒子”。

These are two of my students.

这是我的两名学生。

And I encourage them

我鼓励他们

to fill those boxes with things that tell me about them

在盒子里装满 关于他们自己、

关于他们生活的东西，

and about their life,

what's important to you, you know?

他们觉得重要的东西。

They decorate them,

他们装饰好盒子，

I mean, they really take time,

我的意思是，他们真的花了心思，

they fill them with pictures of their families and of their pets,

在盒子里装满了 家人和宠物的照片，

and then I let them present them to me and to the class.

然后我让他们给我 和全班展示盒子。

And during that time, I am an active listener.

在展示过程中， 我积极地聆听着。

Because the things they say,

因为他们说的话，

the facial expressions that they give me,

他们给我的表情，

the things they don't say

他们没有说出口的话，

can become red flags for me

可以为我敲响警钟，

and can help me figure out what their needs are.

帮助我发现他们的需求。

What is driving them

是什么驱使他们

to maybe have the behaviors that they're showing me in class.

在课上表现出某些举动？

How can I be a better teacher

我怎样才能通过倾听他们的声音

by listening to their voices?

成为一名更好的老师？

I also make times to develop relationships with them,

我还花时间同他们建立关系，

much like Mr. Randolph did with me.

就像兰道夫先生和我那样，

I sit with them at lunch,

我和他们坐在一起吃午饭，

I have conversations with them at recess,

我在课间和他们聊天，

I go to their games on the weekends,

我在周末出席他们的比赛，

I go to their dance recitals.

我去他们的舞蹈排练，

I become a part of their life.

我成为了他们生活的一部分。

Because in order to really know a student,

因为要想真正了解一个学生，

you've got to infuse yourself into their lives.

你必须让自己融入他们的生活。

Now I know some of you are middle school teachers

我知道各位有些是初中老师

and high school teachers,

或者高中老师，

and you might think that those kids

你们可能觉得那些孩子

have already kind of developed, and you know,

已经发展成型了，

they're on autopilot at that point.

在这个时点他们已经 开启了自动驾驶模式。

But don't be deceived.

但不要上当。

Especially the kids that you think have it all together,

尤其是那些你以为 心智成熟的孩子，

because those are the ones that might need you the most.

他们可能才是最需要你的人。

If you were to look at my yearbook,

如果你看了我的班级年鉴，

you would see me on about every page,

你会发现几乎每页都有我的身影，

because I was involved in everything.

因为我参与了所有事情。

I even drove a school bus.

我甚至还开过校车。

(Laughs)

（笑声）

So I was that kid

我还是孩子时，

that teachers thought was the overachiever,

老师们以为我成绩斐然、

the popular person,

深受欢迎、

the one that had it together.

心智成熟。

But guys, I was lost.

可我其实很迷茫，

I was lost,

我很不知所措，

and I wanted someone to ask me,

我想要有人问我，

"Lisa, why are you here all the time,

“莉莎，为什么你一直待在这里？

why are you throwing yourself into all these things?"

为什么你要一头扎入 这么多事情？”

Did they ever wonder,

他们是否曾疑惑，

was I running away from someone,

我是否在逃离某个人，

was I running away from something?

我是否在逃离什么东西？

Why did I not want to be in my community

为什么我不想待在自己社区

or in my home?

或者自己家里？

Why did I want to be at school all the time?

为什么我想一直待在学校？

No one ever asked.

不曾有人问过。

Now don't get me wrong,

请各位不要误解，

all overachievers in your schools

并不是说你学校里 所有成绩突出的学生

are not victims of abuse or trauma.

都是虐待或创伤的受害者。

But I just want you to take the time to be curious.

但我只是想让大家 花点时间去好奇。

Ask them why.

问问他们为什么。

You may find out that there is a reason behind it.

你可能会发现其背后有原因。

You could be the reason that they move forward

你可能会成为他们的故事

继续前进的理由。

with their story.

Be careful not to assume

要小心不要臆断

that you already know the ending to their story.

你已经知道了他们故事的结局。

Don't put a period where a semicolon should be.

在原应是分号的地方， 不要打上句号。

Keep that story going

让那个故事继续，

and help them know that even if something has happened traumatic to them,

并帮助他们知道， 即使他们遭受过创伤，

that their life is still worth telling.

他们的人生仍然值得讲述。

Their story is worth telling.

他们的故事值得述说。

Now in order to do that,

那么为了做到这点，

I really feel like we have to embrace our own personal stories as educators.

我真的觉得作为教育工作者， 我们应当拥抱自己的个人故事。

Many of you might be sitting there

你们可能有很多人 正坐在那里

and thinking, "Yeah.

心想，“没错。

That happened to me.

我经历了那种事。

But I'm not ready to share."

但我没做好分享的准备。”

And that's OK.

这并没有问题。

The time will come

终有一天，

when you will feel it inside your soul

你的灵魂深处会觉得

that it's time to turn your past pain

是时候把自己过去的苦痛

into purpose for the future.

化作未来的意义。

These children are our future.

这些孩子们就是我们的未来。

I just encourage you to take it day by day.

我只想鼓励你们 一天一天慢慢来。

Talk to someone.

找个人聊天。

Be willing and just open.

变得愿意分享，变得坦率。

My life story came full circle

我人生的故事在 2018 年春天

in the spring of 2018,

画出了一个完整的圆。

where I was invited to speak

当时我应邀

to a group of beginning teachers and mentors.

对一群新人老师 和导员发表讲话。

I shared my story, much like today with you,

就像今天这样， 我分享了我的故事，

and afterwards I had a lady approach me.

之后一位女士走过来，

She had tears in her eyes and she quietly said, "Thank you.

她眼含热泪， 轻轻地说，“谢谢。

Thank you for sharing.

谢谢你分享的故事。

I cannot wait to tell my dad

我等不及告诉爸爸

everything that I heard today."

我今天听到的一切。”

She must have seen the perplexed look on my face,

她或许看到了我脸上的不解，

because she followed up by saying,

因为她补充说道，

"Mr. Randolph is my dad."

“兰道夫先生就是我的爸爸。”

Audience: Aww.

观众：哇……

Lisa Godwin: "And he often wonders:

莉莎·戈德温：“他常常会发问：

Did he make a difference?

他有没有帮助他人改变呢？

Today, I get to go home and tell him,

今天，我可以回家告诉他，

'You definitely made a difference.'"

‘您确确实实改变了 他人的人生’。”

What a gift.

何等的馈赠。

What a gift.

何等的恩赐。

And that prompted me

而这件事也促使我

to reach out to Ms. McFadyen's daughter as well,

联系上了麦克法登女士的女儿，

and to share with her

并同她分享

what an impact Ms. McFadyen had made.

麦克法登女士曾对我有何等影响。

And I wanted her to know

我也想让她知道，

I have advocated for more funding

我已经倡议为

辅导咨询师、 学校社会工作者、

for guidance counselors, for school social workers,

心理学家、护士 提供更多资金，

for psychologists, for nurses,

because they are so vital to the mental and physical health

因为他们对孩子们 的心理与生理健康

of our children.

至关重要。

I'm thankful for Ms. McFadyen.

我对麦克法登女士感激于心。

(Applause)

（掌声）

I once heard someone say,

我曾听人说过，

in order to find your way out of the darkness,

为了找到离开黑暗的道路，

you have to find the light.

你必须找到光亮。

Today, I hope that you leave this place

今天，我希望各位在离开后，

and you seek opportunities to be the light.

能寻找成为光亮的机会。

For not only students

不仅为了学生，

but for adults in your classrooms,

也为了你的教室里、

学校里、社区里的成年人。

in your schools, in your communities.

You have the gift

你的禀赋

to help someone navigate

可以帮助他人

through their trauma

跨越痛苦与创伤，

and make their story worth telling.

让他们的故事值得讲述。

Thank you.

谢谢各位。

(Applause)

（掌声）