How teachers can help students navigate trauma | Lisa Godwin

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang

Everyone has a story,

每個人都有自己的故事，

and that story is filled with chapters

那個故事裡的每個章節

that have made us who we are today.

形塑出現今的我們。

Those early chapters of that story

故事的前幾章

sometimes are the ones that define us the most.

有時候是最能定義我們的幾章。

The Center for Disease Control

疾病管制中心

has estimated that over half of our nation's children

估計全國超過一半的孩童

have experienced at least one or two types of childhood trauma.

都曾經經歷過至少 一、兩種童年創傷。

That adversity can have lasting effects.

那些不幸的事可能 會有長久的影響。

When I began to have opportunities to speak

當我開始有機會為學生

and advocate for students and for teachers,

和老師發言和發聲時，

I found myself uniquely positioned

我發現我處在一個很獨特的位置，

to be able to speak about childhood trauma.

能夠去談論童年創傷。

But I had to make a decision first.

但我得要先下這個決定。

I had to decide,

我必須要決定

did I want to just share the bright and shiny parts of my life,

我只想要分享我人生中 光明耀眼的部分，

you know, those ones that we put out on social media

就是我們會放在社群媒體上

讓自己看起來很完美的那些部分，

that make us all look perfect,

or did I want to make myself vulnerable

或者我想要讓自己展現脆弱，

and become an open book?

開放讓大家了解我？

The choice became very clear.

該做哪個選擇變得很明顯。

In order to make a difference in the life of a child,

為了要改變其他孩子的人生，

I had to become transparent.

我必須要讓自己變透明。

So I made the commitment to tell my personal story.

所以，我承諾要說出 我個人的故事。

And this story is filled with people that have loved me

這個故事中滿是愛我的人、

and taken care of me and grown me.

照顧我、養育我的人。

And have helped me overcome and heal.

以及協助我克服困難和療癒的人。

And now it's time for me to help others do the same.

現在該是換我來 協助別人的時候了。

When I first started school, I was the picture of normalcy.

我剛開始就學時， 我是正常的代表。

I was from a good family,

我生在不錯的家庭，

I was always dressed nicely,

我的穿著向來都很好，

had a smile on my face,

臉上都掛著笑容，

I was prepared for school.

我準備好要上學了。

But my life was anything but normal.

但，我的人生一點也不正常。

By this time, I had already become a victim of sexual abuse.

此時，我已經成了 性虐待的受害者。

And it was still happening.

且仍然持續發生。

My parents didn't know,

我父母並不知情，

and I had not told anyone else.

我也沒有告訴任何人。

When I started school, I felt like this was going to be my safe place.

我開始上學時，我覺得 學校應該是我的安全地。

So I was excited.

所以我很興奮。

Imagine my dismay when I met my teacher,

想像一下我見到 我的老師時有多失望，

Mr. Randolph.

他叫蘭道夫先生。

Now Mr. Randolph was not my abuser.

蘭道夫先生並不是虐待我的人。

But Mr. Randolph was the epitome

但蘭道夫先生卻是

我一生中最害怕的事物的化身。

of everything that scared me the most in my life.

I had already started these self-preservation techniques

當時我已經開始使用 一些自我保護的技巧，

to where I took myself out of positions where I was going to be alone with a man.

不讓自己落入與男人獨處的處境。

And here I was, as a student,

而我身為學生，卻陷入這個狀況，

I was going to be in a classroom with a man every day,

我每天都得要和一個 男人在教室中共處，

for a year of school.

持續一整個學年。

I was scared; I didn't trust him.

我很害怕；我不相信他。

But you know what,

但，你們知道嗎，

Mr. Randolph would turn out to be my greatest advocate.

結果發現蘭道夫先生 是我最棒的支持者。

But in the beginning,

但，在一開始，

oh, I made sure he knew I did not like him.

喔，我非常清楚 讓他知道我不喜歡他。

I was noncompliant;

我不服從他；

I was that kid that was disengaged.

我是那情緒上離得遠遠的孩子。

And I also made it really hard on my parents, too.

我也給我的父母帶來一堆麻煩。

I didn't want to go to school,

我不想上學，所以每天早上 我抗拒，不願意上校車。

so I fought them every morning, getting on the bus.

At night, I couldn't sleep,

晚上，我無法入睡，

because my anxiety was so high.

因為我非常焦慮。

So I was going into class exhausted.

所以我到班上時都累壞了。

Which, exhausted children are cranky children,

累壞的孩子是脾氣很糟的孩子，

and they're not easy to teach,

他們非常難教，

you know that.

你們知道的。

Mr. Randolph could have approached me with frustration,

蘭道夫先生本來也可以 帶著挫折感來應付我，

like so many teachers do with students like me.

許多老師都這樣對我這種學生。

But not him.

但他沒有。

He approached me with empathy

他對待我時，帶著同理心

and with flexibility.

以及彈性。

I was so grateful for that.

對此，我非常感激。

He saw this six-year-old was tired and weary.

他看到的是一個累壞的六歲小孩。

And so instead of making me go outside for recess,

他並沒有叫我出去外面休息，

he would let me stay in and take naps,

他會讓我留下來並打盹，

because he knew I needed rest.

因為他知道我需要休息。

Instead of sitting at the teacher table at lunch,

午餐時，他並沒有 去坐在老師的那一桌，

he would come and sit with the students at the student table.

反而會來坐在學生的那一桌。

He would engage me and all my classmates in conversation.

他會讓我及我的 所有同學都參與對談。

And I now look back and I know

現在回頭看，我知道

he had a purpose for that,

他那麼做是有目的的， 他在傾聽，他在問問題。

he was listening, he was asking questions.

He needed to find out what was going on.

他需要知道發生什麼事。

He built a relationship with me.

他和我建立了關係。

He earned my trust.

他贏得了我的信任。

And slowly but surely,

雖然很緩慢，但很肯定， 我在自己周圍築起的圍牆

those walls that I had built around myself

he started chipping away at,

開始被他一點一點剝除，

and I eventually realized he was one of the good guys.

最終，我了解到他是好人。

I know that he felt like he wasn't enough.

我知道他覺得他還做得不夠好。

Because he made the move to talk to my mom.

因為他去跟我母親談。

And got my mom's permission

他得到我母親的允許，

to let me start seeing a school guidance counselor,

讓我開始去看學校的指導老師，

Ms. McFadyen.

麥克費登女士。

I started seeing Ms. McFadyen once or twice a week

接下來兩年，我開始 去見麥克費登女士，

for the next two years.

一週一次或兩次。

It was a process.

那是個過程。

During that time period,

在那段時間，

I never disclosed to her the abuse,

我始終沒有向她說出虐待的事，

because it was a secret;

因為那是秘密；

I wasn't supposed to tell.

我不應該說出來。

But she connected the dots, I know she did,

但她會資訊拼湊起來， 我知道她會，

because everything that she did with me

因為她協助我所做的一切，

was to empower me and help me find my voice.

都是在賦予我能力， 讓我找到自己的聲音。

She taught me how to use mental images

她教我如何用心靈影像

to push through my fears.

來把我的恐懼推開。

She taught me breathing techniques

她教我呼吸技巧，

to help me get through those anxiety attacks

來幫我度過那些焦慮發作的時刻，

that I would have so often.

我常會焦慮發作。

And she role-played with me.

她和我做角色扮演。

And she made sure

她會確保

that I could stand up for myself in situations.

在有事發生時我能為自己站出來。

And the day came

那天來了，

where I was in the room with my abuser

我和虐待我的人同在一間房間中，

and one other adult.

還有另一個成人在場。

And I told my truth.

我說出了我的真相。

I told about the abuse.

我說出了虐待的事。

Immediately, my abuser began to deny,

馬上，虐待我的人就開始否認，

and the person I disclosed to,

而聽我揭露這件事的人，

they just weren't equipped to handle the bombshell

他們沒有足夠能力處理

that I had just dropped on them.

我丟給他們的炸彈。

It was easier to believe the abuser

相信施虐者

比相信孩子容易。

rather than a child.

So I was told never to speak of it again.

所以，他們告訴我 永遠不要再說這種事。

I was made to feel like I had done something wrong, again.

他們讓我覺得我做錯事了， 再一次做錯事了。

It was devastating.

那真讓人心力交瘁。

But you know what,

但，你們知道嗎， 那天有好事發生。

something good came out of that day.

My abuser knew that I was no longer going to be silent.

虐待我的人知道 我不會再保持沉默。

The power shifted.

權力轉移了。

And the abuse stopped.

虐待停止了。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

But the shame

但羞恥感

and fear of it happening again

以及害怕它再次發生的恐懼

remained.

仍然持繼存在。

And it would remain with me

而且在之後的許多年

for many, many years to come.

都一直跟隨著我。

Mr. Randolph and Ms. McFadyen,

蘭道夫先生和麥克費登女士

they helped me find my voice.

協助我找到我的聲音。

They helped me find the light out.

他們協助我找到出口的光。

But you know what,

但，你們知道嗎， 有很多孩子沒有我這麼幸運。

there are so many kids that aren't as fortunate as me.

And you have them in your classrooms.

你們的教室中也有這種孩子。

That is why it's so important for me to talk to you today,

那就是為什麼今天我要 跟各位談，這很重要，

so you can be aware

這樣各位才能意識到，

and you can start asking the questions that need to be asked

並開始問那些需要 被問出來的問題，

and paying attention to these students,

留意這些學生，

so you too can help them find their way.

這麼一來，各位也能 協助他們找到他們的路。

As a kindergarten teacher,

身為幼稚園老師，

I start my year off

學年開始時我都會

with my kids making box biographies.

跟我的孩子們一起做盒子傳記。

These are two of my students.

這兩位是我的學生。

And I encourage them

我鼓勵他們

to fill those boxes with things that tell me about them

把盒子裝滿能讓我了解他們， 了解他們人生的東西，

and about their life,

what's important to you, you know?

了解什麼對你是重要的。

They decorate them,

他們會裝飾盒子，

I mean, they really take time,

他們真的花時間在上面，

they fill them with pictures of their families and of their pets,

把盒子裝滿家人和寵物的照片，

and then I let them present them to me and to the class.

我讓他們對我及對全班展示。

And during that time, I am an active listener.

在那時，我是個主動的傾聽者。

Because the things they say,

因為他們所說的內容、

the facial expressions that they give me,

他們給我的表情、

the things they don't say

他們沒說出來的話，

can become red flags for me

對我來說都可能是紅旗（警訊），

and can help me figure out what their needs are.

且能協助我找出他們的需求。

What is driving them

了解是什麼造成

to maybe have the behaviors that they're showing me in class.

他們在班上在我面前 呈現出來的行為。

How can I be a better teacher

我要如何透過傾聽他們的聲音

by listening to their voices?

成為更好的老師？

I also make times to develop relationships with them,

我也花時間和他們建立關係，

much like Mr. Randolph did with me.

類似蘭道夫先生 跟我建立關係的方式。

I sit with them at lunch,

午餐時我跟他們坐在一起， 休息時我跟他們對話，

I have conversations with them at recess,

I go to their games on the weekends,

週末時我去看他們的比賽，

I go to their dance recitals.

我會去他們的舞蹈表演。

I become a part of their life.

我變成他們生活的一部分。

Because in order to really know a student,

因為，若要真正了解學生，

you've got to infuse yourself into their lives.

你必須要讓你自己 進入他們的生活中。

Now I know some of you are middle school teachers

我知道在座有一些中學老師

and high school teachers,

以及高中老師，

and you might think that those kids

你們可能會認為那些孩子

have already kind of developed, and you know,

好像已經發展完成，

they're on autopilot at that point.

在那個階段他們 已經是自動駕駛狀態。

But don't be deceived.

但，別被騙了。

Especially the kids that you think have it all together,

特別是你認為各方面 狀況都很好的孩子，

because those are the ones that might need you the most.

因為那些孩子可能 才是最需要你的孩子。

If you were to look at my yearbook,

去看我的紀念冊，

you would see me on about every page,

你會看到幾乎每一頁都有我，

because I was involved in everything.

因為我什麼都參一腳。

I even drove a school bus.

我甚至會開校車。

(Laughs)

（笑）

So I was that kid

我就是那種孩子，

that teachers thought was the overachiever,

老師認為我成績超出預期水平，

the popular person,

又很受歡迎，

the one that had it together.

各方面狀況都很好。

But guys, I was lost.

但，各位，我當時是迷失的。

I was lost,

我迷失了，

and I wanted someone to ask me,

我希望有人問我：

"Lisa, why are you here all the time,

「麗莎，你為什麼總是在這裡？

why are you throwing yourself into all these things?"

你為什麼要做所有這些事情？」

Did they ever wonder,

他們可曾納悶過，

was I running away from someone,

我是否是在躲某個人，

was I running away from something?

我是否在躲什麼事？

Why did I not want to be in my community

我為什麼不想要待在我的社區

or in my home?

或我的家裡？

Why did I want to be at school all the time?

我為什麼總是想要待在學校？

No one ever asked.

從來沒有人問我。

Now don't get me wrong,

別誤會我，並不是說你們學校中 成績超過預期水平的人

all overachievers in your schools

are not victims of abuse or trauma.

都是虐待或創傷的受害者。

But I just want you to take the time to be curious.

我只是希望各位 花點時間去感到好奇。

Ask them why.

問他們為什麼。

You may find out that there is a reason behind it.

你們可能會發現， 背後是有原因的。

You could be the reason that they move forward

你們可以成為他們的故事

能繼續向前進行下去的理由。

with their story.

Be careful not to assume

要小心，不要假設

that you already know the ending to their story.

你已經知道他們故事的結局。

Don't put a period where a semicolon should be.

不要在該放分號的地方放上句號。

Keep that story going

讓故事繼續下去，

and help them know that even if something has happened traumatic to them,

協助他們了解，即使他們 遇到極大的創傷，

that their life is still worth telling.

他們的人生仍然值得訴說出來。

Their story is worth telling.

他們的故事仍然值得訴說出來。

Now in order to do that,

為了做到這一點，

I really feel like we have to embrace our own personal stories as educators.

我真心覺得我們教育者 應該擁抱我們自己個人的故事。

Many of you might be sitting there

有許多人可能坐在那裡

and thinking, "Yeah.

想著：「是啊。

That happened to me.

我有遇到那種事。

But I'm not ready to share."

但我還沒準備好要分享。」

And that's OK.

那沒關係。

The time will come

只是時候未到，

when you will feel it inside your soul

有一天你會從靈魂深處感覺到

that it's time to turn your past pain

該是把你過去的痛苦轉換

into purpose for the future.

成為未來目的的時候了。

These children are our future.

這些孩子是我們的未來。

I just encourage you to take it day by day.

我只想鼓勵各位， 一天一天逐步進行。

Talk to someone.

找人談談。

Be willing and just open.

要願意談且開放談。

My life story came full circle

我的人生故事在 2018 年春天

in the spring of 2018,

形成了完整的圓，

where I was invited to speak

那時我受到邀請去演說， 對象是新手老師和導師。

to a group of beginning teachers and mentors.

I shared my story, much like today with you,

我分享了我的故事， 就像今天跟各位分享一樣，

and afterwards I had a lady approach me.

後來，有位女士來找我。

She had tears in her eyes and she quietly said, "Thank you.

她眼中泛著淚光， 靜靜地說：「謝謝你。

Thank you for sharing.

謝謝你的分享。

I cannot wait to tell my dad

我等不及告訴我爸爸

everything that I heard today."

今天我聽到的一切。」

She must have seen the perplexed look on my face,

她一定是看到了 我臉上困惑的神情，

because she followed up by saying,

因為她接著說：

"Mr. Randolph is my dad."

「蘭道夫先生是我爸爸。」

Audience: Aww.

觀眾：哇。

Lisa Godwin: "And he often wonders:

講者：「而他總是很納悶：

Did he make a difference?

他是否有造成不同？

Today, I get to go home and tell him,

今天，我能回家告訴他，

'You definitely made a difference.'"

『你絕對造成了不同。』」

What a gift.

好棒的禮物。

What a gift.

好棒的禮物。

And that prompted me

那件事促使我

to reach out to Ms. McFadyen's daughter as well,

也去找麥克費登女士的女兒，

and to share with her

和她分享

what an impact Ms. McFadyen had made.

麥克費登女士帶來的影響。

And I wanted her to know

我希望她知道，

I have advocated for more funding

我一直在推動提供更多資金

for guidance counselors, for school social workers,

給指導老師，給學校社工，

for psychologists, for nurses,

給心理學家，給護士，

because they are so vital to the mental and physical health

因為他們對於我們孩子的身心健康

of our children.

都非常重要。

I'm thankful for Ms. McFadyen.

我很感謝麥克費登女士。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

I once heard someone say,

我曾經聽過有人說，

in order to find your way out of the darkness,

如果你在黑暗中想要找到出路，

you have to find the light.

你就必須去尋找光。

Today, I hope that you leave this place

今天，我希望各位離開這裡之後，

and you seek opportunities to be the light.

能找機會成為別人的光。

For not only students

不只是為了學生，

but for adults in your classrooms,

也為了你的教室中、你的學校裡、

in your schools, in your communities.

你的社區內的成人。

You have the gift

你們有天賦，

to help someone navigate

可以協助別人

through their trauma

走過他們的創傷，

and make their story worth telling.

讓他們的故事值得被訴說出來。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）