How teachers can help students navigate trauma | Lisa Godwin

Prevoditelj: Dunja Lilek-Toplak Recezent: Sanda L

Everyone has a story,

Svatko ima priču,

and that story is filled with chapters

a ta je priča puna poglavlja

that have made us who we are today.

koja nas čine onime što jesmo.

Those early chapters of that story

Prva poglavlja te priče

sometimes are the ones that define us the most.

ponekad predstavljaju ono što nas najviše određuje.

The Center for Disease Control

Centar za kontrolu i prevenciju bolesti

has estimated that over half of our nation's children

procijenio je da je više od polovine djece u SAD-u

have experienced at least one or two types of childhood trauma.

proživjelo jednu ili više vrsta traume u djetinjstvu.

That adversity can have lasting effects.

Ta iskustva mogu ostaviti duboke tragove.

When I began to have opportunities to speak

Kada sam tek počela držati javne govore

and advocate for students and for teachers,

i zalagati se za učenike i učitelje,

I found myself uniquely positioned

našla sam se na jedinstvenom položaju

to be able to speak about childhood trauma.

s kojeg sam mogla pričati o traumama iz djetinjstva,

But I had to make a decision first.

no prvo sam morala donijeti odluku.

I had to decide,

Morala sam odlučiti

did I want to just share the bright and shiny parts of my life,

želim li samo pričati o svijetlim dijelovima svog života.

you know, those ones that we put out on social media

Znate, pričam o onima koje objavljujemo na društvenim mrežama.

that make us all look perfect,

Onima gdje izgledamo savršeno.

or did I want to make myself vulnerable

Ili, hoću li biti ranjiva,

and become an open book?

hoću li biti otvorena knjiga?

The choice became very clear.

Odluka nije bila teška.

In order to make a difference in the life of a child,

Kako bih utjecala na dječji život,

I had to become transparent.

morala sam postati jasna, iskrena.

So I made the commitment to tell my personal story.

Predano sam pričala svoju osobnu priču.

And this story is filled with people that have loved me

Ta je priča puna ljudi koji su me voljeli,

and taken care of me and grown me.

brinuli se o meni i poticali me.

And have helped me overcome and heal.

Pomogli su mi da zacijelim svoje rane.

And now it's time for me to help others do the same.

Sada je moj red da tako pomognem drugima.

When I first started school, I was the picture of normalcy.

Kada sam krenula u školu, bila sam oličenje prosjeka.

I was from a good family,

Bila sam iz dobre obitelji,

I was always dressed nicely,

imala sam lijepu odjeću

had a smile on my face,

i smješak na licu.

I was prepared for school.

Bila sam spremna za školu.

But my life was anything but normal.

Unatoč tome, moj život nije bio normalan.

By this time, I had already become a victim of sexual abuse.

Tada sam već bila žrtva seksualnog zlostavljanja.

And it was still happening.

Zlostavljanje je i dalje trajalo.

My parents didn't know,

Moji roditelji nisu znali,

and I had not told anyone else.

a nisam nikome rekla.

When I started school, I felt like this was going to be my safe place.

Kada sam krenula u školu, mislila sam da ću tamo biti sigurna.

So I was excited.

Bila sam uzbuđena.

Imagine my dismay when I met my teacher,

Ne možete zamisliti očaj koji me ispunio kada sam upoznala svog učitelja,

Mr. Randolph.

g. Randolpha.

Now Mr. Randolph was not my abuser.

G. Randolph nije bio moj zlostavljač.

But Mr. Randolph was the epitome

On je bio simbol

of everything that scared me the most in my life.

svega što me u životu najviše plašilo.

I had already started these self-preservation techniques

Već sam tada imala obrambene mehanizme

to where I took myself out of positions where I was going to be alone with a man.

da ne ulazim u situacije gdje ću biti sama s muškarcem.

And here I was, as a student,

U školi, evo mene, učenice,

I was going to be in a classroom with a man every day,

svaki dan u učionici s muškarcem,

for a year of school.

tijekom cijele školske godine.

I was scared; I didn't trust him.

Bojala sam se. Nisam mu vjerovala.

But you know what,

Znate što?

Mr. Randolph would turn out to be my greatest advocate.

G. Randolph je na kraju postao moj najveći pobornik.

But in the beginning,

U početku,

oh, I made sure he knew I did not like him.

jao, potrudila sam se da zna kako mi se ne sviđa.

I was noncompliant;

Nisam bila poslušna.

I was that kid that was disengaged.

Nisam sudjelovala u nastavi.

And I also made it really hard on my parents, too.

Svojim sam roditeljima također otežala život.

I didn't want to go to school,

Nisam htjela ići u školu

so I fought them every morning, getting on the bus.

pa sam se svaki dan svađala s njima na autobusnoj stanici.

At night, I couldn't sleep,

Noćima nisam mogla spavati

because my anxiety was so high.

jer sam osjećala tjeskobu.

So I was going into class exhausted.

Na nastavi sam bila umorna.

Which, exhausted children are cranky children,

Umorna djeca su mrzovoljna djeca,

and they're not easy to teach,

a njih nije lako podučiti,

you know that.

znate to.

Mr. Randolph could have approached me with frustration,

G. Randolph mogao se živcirati zbog mene

like so many teachers do with students like me.

kao što to mnogi učitelji rade s učenicima kao što sam bila ja.

But not him.

On nije bio takav.

He approached me with empathy

Bio je pun suosjećanja

and with flexibility.

i bio je susretljiv.

I was so grateful for that.

Zbog toga sam mu bila zahvalna.

He saw this six-year-old was tired and weary.

Vidio me kao umornu i iscrpljenu šestogodišnjakinju.

And so instead of making me go outside for recess,

Nije me tjerao da odmor provodim vani,

he would let me stay in and take naps,

već mi je dozvolio da unutra spavam,

because he knew I needed rest.

jer je znao da trebam odmor.

Instead of sitting at the teacher table at lunch,

Umjesto da je sjedio s ostalim učiteljima za vrijeme ručka,

he would come and sit with the students at the student table.

sjedio je s učenicima za našim stolom.

He would engage me and all my classmates in conversation.

Poticao je mene i drugu djecu na razgovor.

And I now look back and I know

Kada se prisjetim toga,

he had a purpose for that,

to je radio s razlogom.

he was listening, he was asking questions.

Slušao je, postavljao je pitanja.

He needed to find out what was going on.

Morao je saznati što se događa.

He built a relationship with me.

Uspostavio je odnos sa mnom.

He earned my trust.

Dobio je moje povjerenje.

And slowly but surely,

Polako, ali sigurno,

those walls that I had built around myself

zidovi koje sam izgradila

he started chipping away at,

počeli su se rušiti.

and I eventually realized he was one of the good guys.

Shvatila sam da on nije negativac.

I know that he felt like he wasn't enough.

Znam da je mislio da nije mogao učiniti dovoljno.

Because he made the move to talk to my mom.

To znam jer je odlučio pričati s mojom majkom.

And got my mom's permission

Dobio je njeno dopuštenje

to let me start seeing a school guidance counselor,

da posjećujem školsku pedagoginju,

Ms. McFadyen.

gđu McFadyen.

I started seeing Ms. McFadyen once or twice a week

Gđi McFadyen sam odlazila jednom ili dva puta tjedno

for the next two years.

iduće dvije godine.

It was a process.

Potrajalo je.

During that time period,

U tom joj periodu

I never disclosed to her the abuse,

nikada nisam spomenula zlostavljanje

because it was a secret;

jer je to bila tajna.

I wasn't supposed to tell.

Nisam smjela reći.

But she connected the dots, I know she did,

Ona je shvatila, znam da jest,

because everything that she did with me

jer je sve što je radila sa mnom

was to empower me and help me find my voice.

vodilo tome da postanem jača i da naučim izražavati svoje stavove.

She taught me how to use mental images

Naučila me kako kroz mentalne slike

to push through my fears.

prebroditi strahove.

She taught me breathing techniques

Naučila me kako metodama disanja

to help me get through those anxiety attacks

olakšati napadaje tjeskobe

that I would have so often.

koje sam imala tako često.

And she role-played with me.

Sa mnom je glumila.

And she made sure

Potrudila se naučiti me

that I could stand up for myself in situations.

da se izborim za sebe.

And the day came

Došao je dan

where I was in the room with my abuser

kada sam bila u sobi sa svojim zlostavljačem

and one other adult.

i još jednom odraslom osobom.

And I told my truth.

Tada sam rekla istinu.

I told about the abuse.

Izrazila sam da proživljavam zlostavljanje.

Immediately, my abuser began to deny,

Odmah, moj je zlostavljač sve porekao,

and the person I disclosed to,

a osoba kojoj sam rekla

they just weren't equipped to handle the bombshell

nije znala kako se nositi s takvom pričom

that I had just dropped on them.

koju sam upravo ispričala.

It was easier to believe the abuser

Bilo je jednostavnije vjerovati zlostavljaču,

rather than a child.

a ne djetetu.

So I was told never to speak of it again.

Rečeno mi je da to više ne spominjem.

I was made to feel like I had done something wrong, again.

Zbog priznanja sam se osjećala kao da sam nešto zgriješila, opet.

It was devastating.

Bilo je užasno.

But you know what,

Znate što?

something good came out of that day.

U cijeloj toj priči ima i nešto dobro.

My abuser knew that I was no longer going to be silent.

Moj je zlostavljač znao da više neću šutjeti.

The power shifted.

Više nije imao moć.

And the abuse stopped.

Zlostavljanje je prestalo.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

But the shame

Sram

and fear of it happening again

i strah da će se sve ponoviti

remained.

su ostali.

And it would remain with me

Pratili su me

for many, many years to come.

brojnih nadolazećih godina.

Mr. Randolph and Ms. McFadyen,

G. Randolph i gđa McFadyen

they helped me find my voice.

pomogli su mi da se izrazim.

They helped me find the light out.

Pomogli su mi pronaći svjetlo na kraju tunela.

But you know what,

Znate što?

there are so many kids that aren't as fortunate as me.

Brojna djeca nisu moje sreće.

And you have them in your classrooms.

Sjede u vašim učionicama.

That is why it's so important for me to talk to you today,

Zato vam se danas obraćam.

so you can be aware

Da shvatite

and you can start asking the questions that need to be asked

i sami počnete postavljati pitanja koja netko mora postaviti.

and paying attention to these students,

Da počnete paziti na te učenike

so you too can help them find their way.

i pomognete im da se pronađu.

As a kindergarten teacher,

Radim u vrtiću

I start my year off

i na početku svake školske godine

with my kids making box biographies.

djeci dam zadatak da naprave biografske kutije.

These are two of my students.

Ovo je dvoje mojih učenika.

And I encourage them

Potičem ih

to fill those boxes with things that tell me about them

da kutije ispune nečime što opisuje njih

and about their life,

i njihov život.

what's important to you, you know?

Ono što im je važno, znate?

They decorate them,

Ukrašuju ih,

I mean, they really take time,

zaista si uzmu vremena.

they fill them with pictures of their families and of their pets,

Ispune ih slikama obitelji i kućnih ljubimaca.

and then I let them present them to me and to the class.

To mogu pokazati meni i razredu.

And during that time, I am an active listener.

Ja ih tada aktivno slušam.

Because the things they say,

Ono što kažu,

the facial expressions that they give me,

njihovi izrazi lica,

the things they don't say

sve što ne izraze,

can become red flags for me

može biti znak za uzbunu.

and can help me figure out what their needs are.

To pomaže meni da otkrijem njihove potrebe,

What is driving them

da shvatim što ih pokreće

to maybe have the behaviors that they're showing me in class.

i što potiče njihovo ponašanje.

How can I be a better teacher

Kako mogu biti bolja učiteljica

by listening to their voices?

slušajući ih kada pričaju?

I also make times to develop relationships with them,

Odvajam vrijeme kako bih razvila odnos s njima

much like Mr. Randolph did with me.

kao što je g. Randolph to radio sa mnom.

I sit with them at lunch,

Sjedim s njima za vrijeme ručka,

I have conversations with them at recess,

pričam s njima za vrijeme odmora,

I go to their games on the weekends,

gledam njihove utakmice kada je vikend,

I go to their dance recitals.

gledam njihove plesne nastupe.

I become a part of their life.

Dio sam njihovog života.

Because in order to really know a student,

To radim jer samo tako mogu upoznati učenike.

you've got to infuse yourself into their lives.

Moram postati dio njihova života.

Now I know some of you are middle school teachers

Znam da neki od vas predaju u osnovnoj školi

and high school teachers,

i u srednjoj školi

and you might think that those kids

i mislite da ta djeca

have already kind of developed, and you know,

već znaju tko su, razvila su se.

they're on autopilot at that point.

Mislite da su autonomni.

But don't be deceived.

Ne dajte se zavarati.

Especially the kids that you think have it all together,

Djeca koja se čine iznimno pribranima

because those are the ones that might need you the most.

često najviše trebaju pomoć.

If you were to look at my yearbook,

Kada biste prelistali godišnjak mojih učenika,

you would see me on about every page,

našli biste me na gotovo svakoj stranici

because I was involved in everything.

jer sam bila uključena u sve.

I even drove a school bus.

Čak sam vozila školski autobus.

(Laughs)

(Smijeh)

So I was that kid

Ja sam bila onaj učenik

that teachers thought was the overachiever,

kojeg su učitelji vidjeli kao uspješnog pojedinca,

the popular person,

popularnu osobu

the one that had it together.

i onu koja je smirena.

But guys, I was lost.

Ljudi, zapravo sam bila izgubljena.

I was lost,

Bila sam izgubljena.

and I wanted someone to ask me,

Htjela sam da me netko pita,

"Lisa, why are you here all the time,

„Lisa, zašto si stalno ovdje,

why are you throwing yourself into all these things?"

zašto radiš sve to?"

Did they ever wonder,

Jesu li se ikada pitali

was I running away from someone,

bježim li od nekoga,

was I running away from something?

bježim li od nečega?

Why did I not want to be in my community

Zašto ne želim biti u svojoj zajednici

or in my home?

ili u svom domu?

Why did I want to be at school all the time?

Zašto sam stalno htjela biti u školi?

No one ever asked.

Nitko me to nije pitao.

Now don't get me wrong,

Nemojte me krivo shvatiti.

all overachievers in your schools

Svi odlični učenici u vašim školama

are not victims of abuse or trauma.

nisu žrtve zlostavljanja.

But I just want you to take the time to be curious.

Samo želim da odvojite malo vremena za znatiželju.

Ask them why.

Pitajte ih zašto.

You may find out that there is a reason behind it.

Možda saznate da za sve postoji razlog.

You could be the reason that they move forward

Možda ćete vi biti razlog zbog kojeg će oni nastaviti

with their story.

s njihovom pričom.

Be careful not to assume

Nemojte pretpostavljati

that you already know the ending to their story.

da već znate kraj njihove priče.

Don't put a period where a semicolon should be.

Ne dodajte točke bez zareza.

Keep that story going

Nastavite priču

and help them know that even if something has happened traumatic to them,

i pomozite im kako bi shvatili da je čak i život obilježen traumom

that their life is still worth telling.

i dalje vrijedan.

Their story is worth telling.

Njihova je priča vrijedna.

Now in order to do that,

Kako biste to mogli učiniti,

I really feel like we have to embrace our own personal stories as educators.

mislim da i mi kao učitelji moramo prihvatiti svoje priče.

Many of you might be sitting there

Možda mnogi od vas sjedite ovdje

and thinking, "Yeah.

i mislite, „Da.

That happened to me.

To se dogodilo meni,

But I'm not ready to share."

no ne mogu to podijeliti."

And that's OK.

I to je u redu.

The time will come

I to će vrijeme doći.

when you will feel it inside your soul

Tada ćete uistinu osjećati

that it's time to turn your past pain

kao da je vrijeme da svoju bol

into purpose for the future.

pretvorite u svrhu za budućnost.

These children are our future.

Ta su djeca naša budućnost.

I just encourage you to take it day by day.

Potičem vas da počnete korak po korak.

Talk to someone.

Popričajte s nekime.

Be willing and just open.

Pokažite volju i otvorenost.

My life story came full circle

Krug mog života zatvorio se

in the spring of 2018,

u proljeće 2018.

where I was invited to speak

kada su me pozvali da držim govor

to a group of beginning teachers and mentors.

skupini neiskusnih učitelja i mentora.

I shared my story, much like today with you,

Ispričala sam im svoju priču, kao i vama danas,

and afterwards I had a lady approach me.

te mi je nakon govora prišla gospođa.

She had tears in her eyes and she quietly said, "Thank you.

Oči su joj bile pune suza te mi je tiho rekla, „Hvala vam.

Thank you for sharing.

Hvala na priči.

I cannot wait to tell my dad

Jedva čekam svom ocu prepričati

everything that I heard today."

što sam danas čula."

She must have seen the perplexed look on my face,

Primijetila je da me zbunila

because she followed up by saying,

jer je zatim rekla,

"Mr. Randolph is my dad."

„G. Randolph je moj otac."

Audience: Aww.

(Ganutost)

Lisa Godwin: "And he often wonders:

„Često se pita:

Did he make a difference?

Je li utjecao na nekoga?

Today, I get to go home and tell him,

Danas mogu otići kući i reći mu,

'You definitely made a difference.'"

'Svakako si utjecao na nekoga.'"

What a gift.

Izniman dar.

What a gift.

Izniman dar.

And that prompted me

To me potaklo

to reach out to Ms. McFadyen's daughter as well,

da kontaktiram kćer gđe McFadyen

and to share with her

i da joj kažem

what an impact Ms. McFadyen had made.

kako je gđa McFadyen utjecala na mene.

And I wanted her to know

Htjela sam da zna

I have advocated for more funding

da se zalažem za izdvajanje više sredstava

for guidance counselors, for school social workers,

za školske pedagoge, socijalne radnike,

for psychologists, for nurses,

psihologe i medicinske sestre

because they are so vital to the mental and physical health

jer su oni ključni za mentalno i tjelesno zdravlje

of our children.

naše djece.

I'm thankful for Ms. McFadyen.

Zahvalna sam gđi McFadyen.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

I once heard someone say,

Netko je rekao

in order to find your way out of the darkness,

da je za izlazak iz tmine

you have to find the light.

potrebno svjetlo.

Today, I hope that you leave this place

Danas, nadam se da ćete odavde izaći

and you seek opportunities to be the light.

i pronaći nekog kome ćete biti svjetlo.

For not only students

Ne samo zbog učenika,

but for adults in your classrooms,

već i zbog odraslih u vašim učionicama,

in your schools, in your communities.

u vašim školama i u vašim zajednicama.

You have the gift

Imate dar

to help someone navigate

da nekoga vodite

through their trauma

kroz traumatična iskustva

and make their story worth telling.

i potaknete ih da podijele svoju priču.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)