How to connect with depressed friends | Bill Bernat

187,201 views ใƒป 2018-03-23

TED


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

๋ฒˆ์—ญ: ์˜ˆ๋ฆฌ ์œค ๊ฒ€ํ† : Ju Hye Lim
00:12
The one conversation that uplifted me more than any other in my life
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์ œ ์ธ์ƒ์˜ ์–ด๋Š ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ณด๋‹ค๋„ ์ €๋ฅผ ๋“ค๋œจ๊ฒŒ ํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋Š”
00:18
was with a woman who told me
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๋ฉฐ์น  ์ „ ๊ทธ๋žœ๋“œ ์บ๋…„ ๋์ž๋ฝ๊นŒ์ง€
00:20
how, a few days earlier,
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์ง€ํ”„ ๋žญ๊ธ€๋Ÿฌ๋ฅผ ๋ชฐ๊ณ  ๊ฐ”์—ˆ๋˜
00:22
she drove her Jeep Wrangler to the edge of the Grand Canyon
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ํ•œ ์—ฌ์ธ๊ณผ ๋‚˜๋ˆˆ ๋Œ€ํ™”์˜€์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:26
and sat there, revving the engine,
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์ฐจ์— ์•‰์•„์„œ ์ ˆ๋ฒฝ ์•„๋ž˜๋กœ ๋–จ์–ด์ง€๋ ค๊ณ 
00:29
thinking about driving over.
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์—”์ง„์„ ๋ฐŸ์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:32
Even though I had severe social anxiety,
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๋น„๋ก ์ €๋Š” ์‹ฌ๊ฐํ•œ ์‚ฌํšŒ ๋ถˆ์•ˆ ์žฅ์• ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์—ˆ์ง€๋งŒ,
00:35
in that conversation, I was totally at ease.
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๊ทธ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆŒ ๋•Œ ์ „ ์•„์ฃผ ํŽธ์•ˆํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:38
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
00:39
She told me what was going on in her life
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์ธ์ƒ์—์„œ ์ง€๋‚œ ๋ช‡ ๋‹ฌ ๋™์•ˆ
00:42
in the days and months leading up,
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๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚ฌ๋Š”์ง€ ๋“ค๋ ค์ฃผ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:44
what her thoughts were at that exact moment,
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๊ทธ ๋•Œ ๋จธ๋ฆฟ์†์— ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด ๋“ค์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€,
00:46
why she wanted to die,
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์™œ ์ฃฝ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฒƒ์ธ์ง€
00:48
and why she didn't do it.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์™œ ํ–‰๋™์œผ๋กœ ์˜ฎ๊ธฐ์ง€ ์•Š์•˜๋Š”์ง€๋„ ๋ง์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:50
We nodded and half-smiled,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ณ ๊ฐœ๋ฅผ ๋„๋•์ด๋ฉฐ ๋ฏธ์†Œ๋ฅผ ์ง€์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:53
and then it was my turn to talk about my journey
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๊ทธ ํ›„ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์‚ฐ ์†์— ์žˆ๋Š” ์ •์‹ ๋ณ‘๋™์˜
00:55
to a dining table in the hygienic community area
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์œ„์ƒ ์ง€๋Œ€์˜ ์‹ํƒ์— ๊ฐ”๋‹ค ์™”์—ˆ๋˜
01:00
of the mental health wing of a mountain-town hospital.
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์ผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ ํ•  ์ฐจ๋ก€์˜€์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:04
I took too many sleeping pills,
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์ „ ์ˆ˜๋ฉด์ œ๋ฅผ ๊ณผ๋‹ค๋ณต์šฉํ–ˆ๊ณ 
01:06
and after they treated me for that,
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์ €๋ฅผ ์น˜๋ฃŒ ํ•œ ์ดํ›„,
01:07
they were like, "Hey, we would love it if you would be our guest
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"๋„ค๊ฐ€ ์ด ๋ณ‘๋™ ํ™˜์ž๋ผ๋ฉด
01:13
in the psych ward."
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์ •๋ง ์ข‹์„ ํ…๋ฐ"๋ผ๊ณ  ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:15
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
01:20
We joked that her suicide would have made a way better postcard.
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์ €ํฌ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋…€์˜ ์ž์‚ด์ด ์—ฝ์„œ ์“ฐ๊ธฐ์— ๋” ์ข‹๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋†๋‹ดํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:25
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
01:26
We talked shop.
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ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ฌ์—… ์–˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
01:28
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
01:29
She allowed me to be deeply depressed
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊นŠ์€ ์šฐ์šธ๊ฐ์„ ๋Š๋ผ๋ฉด์„œ๋„
01:32
and have a genuine connection to another person, simultaneously.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ์ง„์‹ค๋œ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งบ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ฒŒ ํ•ด์ฃผ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:37
For the first time,
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์ฒ˜์Œ์œผ๋กœ
01:38
I identified as somebody living with depression,
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์ €๋Š” ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์˜€๊ณ 
01:42
and I felt good about it --
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ด ๊ธฐ๋ถ„ ์ข‹์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:43
like I wasn't a bad person for it.
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋‚˜์œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์•„๋‹Œ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์ด์š”.
01:46
Now imagine one of the people at that table was a member of your family
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๊ทธ ํ…Œ์ด๋ธ”์— ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ€์กฑ์ด๋‚˜ ๊ฐ€๊นŒ์šด ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์•‰์•„ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ 
01:51
or a close friend.
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์ƒ์ƒํ•ด๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
01:53
Would you be comfortable talking to them?
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๊ทธ๋“ค๊ณผ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ํŽธํ• ๊นŒ์š”?
01:55
What if instead of the hospital,
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๋งŒ์•ฝ ๋ณ‘์› ๋Œ€์‹ ,
01:57
they were at your kitchen table
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๋ถ€์—Œ ์‹ํƒ์—์„œ
01:59
and told you they were really depressed?
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑธ ํ„ธ์–ด๋†“์•˜๋‹ค๋ฉด์š”?
02:02
The World Health Organization
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์„ธ๊ณ„ ๋ณด๊ฑด ๊ธฐ๊ตฌ์— ๋”ฐ๋ฅด๋ฉด
02:04
says that depression is the leading cause of ill health and disability worldwide,
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์ด 3์–ต 5์ฒœ๋งŒ ๋ช…์˜ ๋ณ‘๊ณผ ์žฅ์• ์˜
02:11
affecting 350 million people.
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๊ฐ€์žฅ ํฐ ์›์ธ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:14
The National Institute of Mental Health
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๊ตญ๋ฆฝ ์ •์‹  ๊ฑด๊ฐ• ์—ฐ๊ตฌ์†Œ๋Š”
02:16
reports seven percent of Americans experiencing depression in a year.
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๋ฏธ๊ตญ์ธ์˜ 7%๊ฐ€ ๋งค๋…„ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ๊ฒช๋Š”๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋ฐœํ‘œํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:21
So depression is super common,
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์€ ๊ต‰์žฅํžˆ ํ”ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ
02:23
yet in my experience,
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ฒฝํ—˜ํ•œ ๋ฐ”๋กœ๋Š”
02:26
most folks don't want to talk to depressed people
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๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ ํ™˜์ž๋“ค์ด ํ–‰๋ณตํ•œ ์ฒ™์„ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š” ์ด์ƒ
02:29
unless we pretend to be happy.
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๊ทธ๋“ค๊ณผ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๊บผ๋ คํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:33
A cheerful facade is appropriate for casual interactions.
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์ผ์ƒ ๋Œ€ํ™”์—๋Š” ๋ช…๋ž‘ํ•œ ๋ชจ์Šต์ด ์ ํ•ฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:37
A depressed person can ask for extra syrup in their pumpkin spice latte
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์— ๊ฑธ๋ฆฐ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๋„ ํ˜ธ๋ฐ• ๋ผ๋–ผ์— ์‹œ๋Ÿฝ์„ ์ถ”๊ฐ€ํ•ด ๋‹ฌ๋ผ๊ณ  ์ฃผ๋ฌธํ•  ๋•Œ
02:41
without explaining that they need it
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์‹œ๋Ÿฝ์ด ๋” ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ์ด์œ ๊ฐ€
02:43
because they're trapped in the infinite darkness of their soul
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์ž๊ธฐ ์˜ํ˜ผ์ด ๋ฌดํ•œํ•œ ์–ด๋‘  ์†์— ๊ฐ‡ํ˜€์žˆ๊ณ  ๋ฒ—์–ด๋‚  ํฌ๋ง์„ ๋ชจ๋‘ ์žƒ์–ด๋ฒ„๋ ค์„œ๋ผ๊ณ 
02:47
and they've lost all hope of escape --
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์„ค๋ช…ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ ๋„ ์ฃผ๋ฌธํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:49
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
02:51
again.
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๋‹ค์‹œ ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฌ์ง€๋งŒ
02:52
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
02:55
Depression doesn't diminish a person's desire
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ์—ฐ๊ฒฐ๋˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๋Š”
02:58
to connect with other people,
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๊ฐœ์ธ์˜ ๋ฐ”๋žŒ์„ ์•ฝํ™”์‹œํ‚ค์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:00
just their ability.
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๋Šฅ๋ ฅ๋งŒ ์•ฝํ™”์‹œํ‚ค์ฃ .
03:02
So in spite of what you might think,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋“ 
03:05
talking to friends and family living with depression
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ์•“๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์นœ๊ตฌ๋‚˜ ๊ฐ€์กฑ๊ณผ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€
03:07
can be really easy and maybe even fun.
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์ •๋ง ์‰ฝ๊ณ  ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:11
Not, like, Facebook-selfie-with-Lady-Gaga- at-an-underground-party fun --
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๋ ˆ์ด๋”” ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€์™€ ํŒŒํ‹ฐํ•˜๋ฉด์„œ ์ฐ์€ ์…€์นด๋ฅผ ํŽ˜์ด์Šค๋ถ์— ์˜ฌ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์›€ ๋ง๊ณ 
03:17
I'm talking about the kind of fun
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ์˜ ๋งŒ๋‚จ์„
03:19
where people enjoy each other's company effortlessly.
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์ฆ๊ธฐ๋Š” ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์›€์„ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:23
Nobody feels awkward,
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์•„๋ฌด๋„ ์–ด์ƒ‰ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋Š๋ผ์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ ,
03:24
and no one accuses the sad person of ruining the holidays.
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์•„๋ฌด๋„ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ ํ™˜์ž๊ฐ€ ์ž๊ธฐ๋“ค ํœด์ผ์„ ๋ง์ณค๋‹ค๊ณ  ํƒ“ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:30
Why does this chasm even exist?
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์™œ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ฐจ์ด๊ฐ€ ์กด์žฌํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ผ๊นŒ์š”?
03:33
On the one side,
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ํ•œํŽธ์œผ๋กœ๋Š”,
03:35
you have people living with depression
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ์•“๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด
03:37
who may act in off-putting or confusing ways
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๋‹นํ™ฉ์Šค๋Ÿฝ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ดํ•ดํ•˜๊ธฐ ํž˜๋“  ํ–‰๋™์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:40
because they're fighting a war in their head
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๋จธ๋ฆฟ์†์—์„œ ๋‚จ๋“ค์€ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๋Š”
03:43
that nobody else can see.
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์ „์Ÿ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:45
On the other side,
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ํ•œํŽธ์œผ๋กœ๋Š”,
03:48
the vast majority of people look across the chasm
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๋Œ€๋‹ค์ˆ˜์˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ๋ฐ˜๋Œ€ํŽธ์— ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋ณด๋ฉฐ
03:51
and shake their heads,
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๊ณ ๊ฐœ๋ฅผ ์ “์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:52
like, "Why you gotta be so depressed?"
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"์™œ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ์šฐ์šธํ•ด ํ•˜๋Š”๊ฑฐ์•ผ?"
03:56
You may recognize a divide like this in your life.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„ ์—ญ์‹œ ์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ๊ฒฉ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ์ธ์ง€ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์„์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:01
Do you want to build a bridge across it?
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๊ทธ ์‚ฌ์ด์— ๋‹ค๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋†“๊ณ  ์‹ถ์œผ์‹ ๊ฐ€์š”?
04:03
You may not want to build a bridge --
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
04:05
and that's a totally valid choice.
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋Š๋ผ์…”๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:09
Or maybe you'd like to build a stronger connection,
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ๋” ๊ฐ•ํ•œ ์—ฐ๊ฒฐ๊ณ ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ํ˜•์„ฑํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€๋งŒ
04:12
but you have a lot of questions and concerns.
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์ˆ˜๋งŽ์€ ์งˆ๋ฌธ๊ณผ ๊ฑฑ์ •์„ ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์ฃ .
04:17
You're what I might call "bridge curious."
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์†Œ์œ„ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” "๋‹ค๋ฆฌ ํ˜ธ๊ธฐ์‹ฌ" ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:20
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
04:24
Here are some possible reasons
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„
04:26
why some of you may avoid depressed people.
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ํ”ผํ•˜๋Š” ์ด์œ ์—๋Š” ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:29
You might be afraid
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์šฐ์šธํ•ด ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ
04:31
that if you talk to somebody while they're depressed,
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์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ์•ˆ์ •๊ฐ์„ ์ฃผ์–ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ฑ…์ž„์ด
04:33
you're suddenly responsible for their well-being.
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์ƒ๊ธฐ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์„œ ๋‘๋ ค์›€์„ ๋Š๋‚„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:37
You're not expected to be Dr. Phil.
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์•„๋ฌด๋„ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ๋‹ฅํ„ฐ ํ•„์ด ๋˜๊ธธ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:40
Just be friendly --
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๊ทธ์ € ์—˜๋ Œ ๋“œ์ œ๋„ˆ๋Ÿฌ์Šค์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ
04:42
more like Ellen.
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์นœ๊ทผํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋Œ€ํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:43
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
04:47
You may worry that you won't know what to say,
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ๋ฌด์Šจ ๋ง์„ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ• ์ง€ ๋ชจ๋ฅผ๊นŒ๋ด,
04:50
and every attempt at conversation will be awkward,
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๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๋ ค๋Š” ์‹œ๋„๋“ค์ด ์–ด์ƒ‰ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋๋‚ ๊นŒ๋ด ๊ฑฑ์ •์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šธ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:55
and the only time you'll feel comfortable
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๊ฐ€์žฅ ํŽธ์•ˆํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋Š๋‚„ ๋•Œ๊ฐ€
04:57
is when you both just give up on talking
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํฌ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ 
04:59
and stare at your phones.
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ํœด๋Œ€ํฐ์„ ์ณ๋‹ค๋ณผ ๋•Œ์ผ๊นŒ ๋ด์š”.
05:02
Words are not the most important thing to focus on.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹จ์–ด๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:07
You might fear seeing your shadow.
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์ž๊ธฐ ๊ทธ๋ฆผ์ž๋ฅผ ๋ณด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‘๋ ค์šธ ์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:12
Hey, if you have been successfully outrunning
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๋งŒ์•ฝ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ๊ฐ์ •์„
05:15
your personal emotional demons,
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์„ฑ๊ณต์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋‹ค์Šค๋ ค ์™”๋‹ค๋ฉด
05:18
that's awesome.
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์ฐธ ์ข‹์€ ์ผ์ด์ฃ .
05:20
May the wind be at your back.
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๋ฐ”๋žŒ์ด ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„ ๋“ฑ ๋’ค์—๋งŒ ์žˆ๊ธธ ๋นŒ๊ฒŒ์š”.
05:22
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
05:23
You can be the least woo-woo person in the world
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๋ฌด๋‹น์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ์–ด๋„ ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ
05:27
and still connect with depressed people.
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์—ฐ๋ฝํ•˜๊ณ  ์ง€๋‚ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:30
Maybe you've heard that depression is contagious,
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์ด ์ „์—ผ์„ฑ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง์„ ๋“ฃ๊ณ ๋Š”
05:33
and you're afraid of catching it.
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์˜ฎ์„๊นŒ๋ด ๋‘๋ ค์šธ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:35
Bring some hand sanitizer.
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์† ์„ธ์ •์ œ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ๋‹ค๋‹ˆ์„ธ์š”.
05:37
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
05:38
You're much more likely to catch the joy of human bonding.
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์ธ๊ฐ„ ์‚ฌ์ด์˜ ์œ ๋Œ€๊ฐ์—์„œ ์˜ค๋Š” ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์›€์„ ์˜ฎ์„ ๊ฐ€๋Šฅ์„ฑ์ด ๋” ํฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:43
Maybe you see depressed people differently.
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์šฐ์šธํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‹œ์„ ์œผ๋กœ ๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:45
You think of them as flawed or defective.
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๊ฒฐ์ ์ด๋‚˜ ํ•˜์ž๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๋กœ์š”.
05:50
Multiple university studies have shown
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๋‹ค์ˆ˜์˜ ๋Œ€ํ•™ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ์— ๋”ฐ๋ฅด๋ฉด
05:53
that A students are more likely to have bipolar condition.
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A๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›๋Š” ํ•™์ƒ๋“ค์ด ์กฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ์•“๊ณ  ์žˆ์„ ๊ฐ€๋Šฅ์„ฑ์ด ๋” ํฌ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:58
Our brains aren't broken or damaged,
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์šฐ์šธํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์˜ ๋‡Œ๋Š” ๋ง๊ฐ€์ง€๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ํŒŒ์†๋˜์–ด ์žˆ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:01
they just work differently.
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๊ทธ์ € ๋‹ค๋ฅด๊ฒŒ ์ž‘๋™ํ•  ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:03
I spent a lot of years thinking happy people just don't get it.
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ํ–‰๋ณตํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์ดํ•ด ๋ชปํ•˜๋”๋ผ๊ณ ์š”.
06:09
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
06:10
I did eventually stop discriminating against happy people --
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ €๋Š” ํ–‰๋ณตํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ์ฐจ๋ณ„ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฑธ ๊ทธ๋งŒ๋‘์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:14
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
06:18
I began battling depression when I was eight,
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์ €๋Š” 8์‚ด ๋•Œ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ๊ณผ ์‹ธ์šฐ๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:21
and decades later, to my surprise,
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์ˆ˜ ์‹ญ ๋…„์ด ์ง€๋‚œ ํ›„ ๋†€๋ž๊ฒŒ๋„
06:23
I started winning.
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ด๊ธฐ๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:25
I shifted from being miserable much of the time
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์ €๋Š” ์ธ์ƒ์˜ ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์„ ๋น„์ฐธํ•ด ํ•˜๋ฉฐ ๋ณด๋‚ด๋Š” ๋ฐ์—์„œ ๋ฒ—์–ด๋‚˜
06:29
to enjoying life.
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์ธ์ƒ์„ ์ฆ๊ธฐ๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:31
I live pretty well with my bipolar condition,
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์ €๋Š” ์กฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ๊ฐ–๊ณ ๋„ ๊ฝค ์ž˜ ์‚ด๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ณ ,
06:34
and I've overcome some other mental health conditions
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๊ณผ์‹, ์ค‘๋…, ์‚ฌํšŒ์  ๋ถˆ์•ˆ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€
06:36
like overeating, addiction and social anxiety.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ •์‹ ๋ณ‘๋“ค๋„ ๊ทน๋ณตํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:40
So I live on both sides of this chasm.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ์–‘์ชฝ ๋ชจ๋‘์— ๋ฐœ๋”›๊ณ  ์‚ด๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:44
And I'm offering some guidance
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ œ ๊ฒฝํ—˜์„ ํ† ๋Œ€๋กœ
06:49
based on my experience
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๊ทธ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ์ข€ ์•Œ๋ ค๋“œ๋ฆฌ๋ ค ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:52
to help you build a bridge across it
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์›ํ•˜์‹ ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ์ด๋ฅผ ์ž‡๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ
06:54
if you want to.
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๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฑธ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊ฒŒ์š”.
06:56
It's not hard science,
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์–ด๋ ค์šด ๊ณผํ•™์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:58
but I worked with a lot people I know who've lived with depression
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ด ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ๊ฐœ์„ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ์•“๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์ˆ˜๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ
07:02
to refine these suggestions.
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ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ž‘์—…ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:06
First up, some things you might want to avoid --
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์ฒซ์งธ, ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ํ”ผํ•ด์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:08
some "don'ts."
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ํ•˜์ง€ ๋ง์•„์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์ด์ฃ .
07:11
One of the most off-putting things you can say is,
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๊ฐ€์žฅ ์งœ์ฆ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ง ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๊ฐ€
07:14
"Just get over it."
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"๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ์ด๊ฒจ๋‚ด" ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:17
Great idea -- love it,
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์ข‹์€ ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด์—์š”. ์•„์ฃผ ๋ง˜์— ๋“ค์–ด์š”.
07:19
it's just we already thought of that.
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๋‹จ์ง€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ด๋ฏธ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณธ ๋ง์ด์–ด์„œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ฃ .
07:21
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
07:28
The absence of the ability to just get over it is depression.
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์ด๊ฒจ๋‚ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋Šฅ๋ ฅ์ด ์—†์–ด์„œ ์ƒ๊ธฐ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:32
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
07:36
(Applause)
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(๋ฐ•์ˆ˜)
07:41
We feel it in our bodies --
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์ €ํฌ๋Š” ๋ชธ์œผ๋กœ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ๋Š๋‚๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:44
it's a physical thing for us.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒ ์‹ ์ฒด์ ์ธ ๊ฑฐ์˜ˆ์š”.
07:47
And medically it's no different
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์˜ํ•™์ ์œผ๋กœ
07:49
from telling someone with a broken ankle or cancer,
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๋ฐœ๋ชฉ์ด ๋ถ€๋Ÿฌ์ง„ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด๋‚˜ ์•” ํ™˜์ž์—๊ฒŒ "๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ์ด๊ฒจ๋‚ด"๋ผ๊ณ 
07:51
"just get over it."
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ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๋‹ค๋ฅด์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:56
Don't be hell-bent on fixing us.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๊ณ ์น˜๋ ค๊ณ  ์• ์“ฐ์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
07:59
Like, thank you, but ...
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๋…ธ๋ ฅ์€ ๊ณ ๋ง™์ง€๋งŒ,
08:03
the pressure can make us depressed people feel like we're disappointing you.
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๊ทธ ๋ถ€๋‹ด๊ฐ์€ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ ํ™˜์ž๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ์‹ค๋ง์‹œํ‚จ ๋Š๋‚Œ์ด ๋“ค๊ฒŒ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:08
Also, things that make some people feel better
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๋˜ํ•œ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„ ์ข‹๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์ด
08:11
may not work for us.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ํ†ตํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:13
You can't cure clinical depression by getting ice cream ...
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์•„์ด์Šคํฌ๋ฆผ์œผ๋กœ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ์น˜๋ฃŒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:17
which is unfortunate, because that would be living the dream.
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์•ˆํƒ€๊น์ฃ . ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์ฐธ ์ข‹์„ ํ…๋ฐ์š”.
08:21
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:25
Don't take a negative response personally.
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์ €ํฌ์˜ ๋ถ€์ •์ ์ธ ๋ฐ˜์‘์— ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์ƒ์ฒ˜๋ฐ›์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
08:31
So, I have a friend who, about a year ago,
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์ œ๊ฒŒ ๋ช‡ ๋…„ ์ „์— ํ•œ ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:34
messaged me that he was really isolated and depressed.
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์ œ๊ฒŒ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ณ ๋…ํ•˜๊ณ  ์šฐ์šธํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋ฌธ์ž๋ฅผ ๋ณด๋‚ด์™”์–ด์š”.
08:38
And I suggested some things for him to do,
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์ €๋Š” ๊ทธ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ œ์•ˆ์„ ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
08:41
and he was like, "No, no and no."
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๊ทธ์˜ ๋ฐ˜์‘์€, "์•„๋‹ˆ. ์•„๋‹ˆ. ์•„๋‹ˆ์•ผ."
08:43
And I got mad,
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์ €๋Š” ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์–ด์š”.
08:44
like, how dare he not embrace my brilliant wisdom?
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋‚˜์˜ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ์ง€ํ˜œ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์ด์ง€ ์•Š์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์ง€?
08:48
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:50
And then I remembered times I've been depressed,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ๋ฐ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์šฐ์šธํ–ˆ๋˜ ์‹œ๊ฐ„๋“ค์ด ๋– ์˜ค๋ฅด๋”๊ตฐ์š”.
08:53
and how I thought I was doomed in all possible futures,
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์ œ๊ฒŒ ๋ฏธ๋ž˜๋Š” ์—†๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ๊ณ ,
08:58
or everybody suddenly hated me, and things like that.
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๊ฐ‘์ž๊ธฐ ๋ชจ๋‘๊ฐ€ ์ €๋ฅผ ์‹ซ์–ดํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ์—ˆ์–ด์š”.
09:03
It didn't matter how many people told me otherwise --
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์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•ด์ฃผ๋Š”์ง„ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์•˜์–ด์š”.
09:06
I didn't believe them.
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฏฟ์ง€ ์•Š์•˜์œผ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
09:09
So I let my friend know I cared,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ œ ์นœ๊ตฌ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ๊ฐ€ ์ œ๊ฒŒ ์†Œ์ค‘ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด๋ฉฐ,
09:12
and I didn't take it personally.
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๊ทธ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„ ๋‚˜์˜๊ฒŒ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์ด์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๊ณ  ์–˜๊ธฐํ•ด์ฃผ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:15
Don't let a lack of bubbly happiness freak you out.
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๊ตฌ๋ฆ„์œ„์— ๋– ์žˆ๋Š” ๋“ฏํ•œ ํ–‰๋ณต๊ฐ์„ ๋Š๋ผ์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
09:21
It's not a shark attack.
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์ƒ์–ดํ•œํ…Œ ๋ฌผ๋ฆฐ ๊ฒƒ๋„ ์•„๋‹ˆ์ž–์•„์š”.
09:23
"Call the coast guard, my friend is sad!"
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"ํ•ด์–‘ ๊ตฌ์กฐ๋Œ€๋ฅผ ๋ถˆ๋Ÿฌ์š”! ๋‚ด ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์Šฌํ”„๋Œ€์š”!"
09:26
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
09:28
We can be sad and OK at the same time.
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์Šฌํ”„๋ฉด์„œ๋„ ๋™์‹œ์—๊ดœ์ฐฎ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:32
I'm going to say that again,
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ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ ๋” ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:34
because in our society, we're taught the opposite,
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์‚ฌํšŒ๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ˜๋Œ€๋กœ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์ณค๊ธฐ์—
09:37
and so it's counterintuitive.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ์ง๊ด€์— ๋ฐ˜๋Œ€๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:40
People can be sad and OK at the same time.
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์Šฌํ”„๋ฉด์„œ๋„ ๋™์‹œ์— ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
09:45
So some of these things may apply to you personally, some may not.
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์ด ์ค‘ ์ผ๋ถ€๊ฐ€ ์™€๋‹ฟ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๊ณ  ์•„๋‹ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:48
Take what's useful.
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๋„์›€๋˜๋Š” ๊ฑธ ์–ป์–ด๊ฐ€์„ธ์š”.
09:50
And remember, you don't have to connect.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ๊ผญ ์—ฐ๋ฝํ•˜๊ณ  ์ง€๋‚ด์ง€ ์•Š์•„๋„ ๋ผ์š”.
09:55
If you want to,
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์›ํ•˜์‹ ๋‹ค๋ฉด
09:57
here are some suggestions that may help --
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๋„์›€๋˜๋Š” ์ œ์•ˆ์„ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋“œ๋ฆด๊ฒŒ์š”.
09:59
some "dos."
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ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:01
Talk to us in your natural voice, right?
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์›๋ž˜ ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋กœ ๋ง ๊ฑธ์–ด์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
10:04
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
10:06
You don't need to put on a sad voice because we're depressed --
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์ €ํฌ๊ฐ€ ์šฐ์šธํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ์Šฌํ”ˆ ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์“ฐ์ง€ ์•Š์œผ์…”๋„ ๋ผ์š”.
10:12
you don't sneeze when you're talking to somebody with a cold.
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๊ฐ๊ธฐ๊ฑธ๋ฆฐ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ด์„œ ์žฌ์ฑ„๊ธฐํ•˜์ง€๋Š” ์•Š์ž–์•„์š”.
10:15
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
10:18
It's not rude to be upbeat.
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ํ™œ๊ธฐ ๋„˜์น˜๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ๋ฌด๋ก€ํ•œ ๊ฑด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:20
You can be you, OK?
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์›๋ž˜ ํ•˜๋˜๋Œ€๋กœ ํ•˜์…”๋„ ๋ผ์š”.
10:23
If you make an offer to be there for us,
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์ €ํฌ๋ฅผ ๋„์™€์ฃผ๊ฒ ๋‹ค๋Š” ์ œ์•ˆ์„ ํ•  ๋•Œ๋Š”
10:26
clearly state what you can and can't do.
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ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ถ„๋ช…ํžˆ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
10:29
I have told people, "Hey, call or text any time,
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์ €๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ, "์–ธ์ œ๋“ ์ง€ ์ „ํ™”ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ฌธ์žํ•ด,
10:32
but I might not be able to get back to you that same day."
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ ๋‚  ๋ฐ”๋กœ ๋‹ต์žฅํ•˜์ง€ ๋ชปํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์–ด."
10:36
It's totally cool to not make an offer,
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๋„์›€์„ ์ฃผ๊ฒ ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง์„ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์•„๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„์š”.
10:39
or to make a narrow offer with really clear boundaries around it.
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์„ ์ด ๋ถ„๋ช…ํ•œ ๋งค์šฐ ์ œํ•œ์ ์ธ ๋„์›€์„ ์ฃผ์…”๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:45
Give us a sense of control.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ํ†ต์ œ๋ ฅ์„ ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
10:50
Like, get our consent.
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์ €ํฌ์˜ ๋™์˜๋ฅผ ์–ป์œผ๋ผ๋Š” ๋ง์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:52
I have a friend who, a while back,
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์˜›๋‚ ์— ํ•œ ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์—ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ,
10:55
when I was having a depressive episode,
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ์•“๊ณ  ์žˆ์„ ๋•Œ
10:57
reached out and said, "Hey, I want to check in with you.
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์† ๋‚ด๋ฐ€๋ฉฐ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋„ค๊ฐ€ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€์ง€ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ด.
11:00
Can I call you every day?
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๋งค์ผ ์ „ํ™”ํ•ด๋„ ๋ ๊นŒ?
11:01
Maybe text you every day and call later in the week?
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ๋งค์ผ ๋ฌธ์žํ•˜๊ณ  ์ฃผ๋ง์—๋งŒ ์ „ํ™”ํ•˜๋“ ์ง€.
11:03
What works for you?"
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์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์•„?"
11:06
By getting my permission, she earned my complete confidence
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์ œ ํ—ˆ๋ฝ์„ ๊ตฌํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ์ œ๊ฒŒ์„œ ์™„์ „ํ•œ ์‹ ๋ขฐ๋ฅผ ์–ป์—ˆ๊ณ 
11:09
and remains one of my best friends today.
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์•„์ง๋„ ์ €๋ž‘ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์นœํ•œ ์นœ๊ตฌ ์ค‘์— ํ•˜๋‚˜์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:14
And my last suggestion is:
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ œ ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰ ์ œ์•ˆ์€,
11:17
interact about not depression,
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์ด ์•„๋‹Œ ํ‰๋ฒ”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์†Œ์žฌ๋กœ
11:20
aka, normal stuff.
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๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:22
I have a friend who, when people were worried about him,
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์ œ๊ฒŒ ํ•œ ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์—ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ, ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ๊ทธ๊ฐ€ ๊ฑฑ์ •๋  ๋•Œ๋ฉด
11:26
they would call and ask if he wanted to go shopping
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์ „ํ™”ํ•ด์„œ ๊ฐ™์ด ์‡ผํ•‘๊ฐ€์ž๊ณ  ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
11:29
or help them clean out their garage.
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์ฐจ๊ณ  ์น˜์šฐ๋Š” ๊ฑธ ๋„์™€๋‹ฌ๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ถ€ํƒํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:31
Your depressed friends could be a good source of free labor --
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ ๊ฑธ๋ฆฐ ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์€ ์ข‹์€ ๋ฌด์ž„๊ธˆ ๋…ธ๋™์ž๋“ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:34
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
11:44
What I'm really getting at is,
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ •๋ง๋กœ ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒƒ์€
11:47
invite them to contribute to your life in some way,
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์–ด๋–ค ๋ฐฉ์‹์œผ๋กœ๋“  ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„ ์ธ์ƒ์— ๊ธฐ์—ฌํ•˜๋„๋ก ์ดˆ๋Œ€ํ•ด์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
11:52
even if it's as small as asking you to go see a movie
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๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์•„๋ฌด๋ฆฌ ์˜ํ™”๊ด€์— ๋ณด๊ณ  ์‹ถ์—ˆ๋˜ ์˜ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋ณด๋Ÿฌ ๊ฐ€์ž๊ณ  ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ
11:56
that you wanted to see in the theater.
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์‚ฌ์†Œํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ผ์ง€๋ผ๋„์š”.
11:59
So that's a lot of dos and don'ts and maybes,
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ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ, ํ•˜์ง€ ๋ง์•„์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ, ํ•ด๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์ด ์ฐธ ๋งŽ์ฃ .
12:03
and it's not by any means a definitive list.
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๊ทผ๋ฐ ์ด๊ฒŒ ์™„์ „ํ•œ ๋ชฉ๋ก์€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:08
The thing to remember is that they're all grounded
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๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์…”์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ด ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์ด ํ•˜๋‚˜์˜ ์›์น™์—
12:10
in one guiding principle.
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๊ธฐ๋ฐ˜ํ•ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:13
It's what allowed the woman in the Jeep Wrangler
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์ง€ํ”„ ๋žญ๊ธ€๋Ÿฌ๋ฅผ ๋ชฐ์•˜๋˜ ์—ฌ์ž๊ฐ€ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ ๋„
12:17
to start me on the path to recovery without even trying.
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ํšŒ๋ณตํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ธธ์— ๋ฐœ์„ ๋‚ด๋”›๋„๋ก ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด์ค€ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:21
She talked to me like I belonged
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ๋งˆ์น˜ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋”˜๊ฐ€์— ์†ํ•ด ์žˆ๊ณ ,
12:25
and contributed exactly as I was at that moment.
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๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€ ๊ธฐ์—ฌํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋“ฏ์ด ๋Œ€ํ•ด์ฃผ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:31
If you talk to a depressed person as if their life is just as valuable,
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์šฐ์šธํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๋“ค๊ณผ ๋˜‘๊ฐ™์ด ๊ฐ€์น˜์žˆ๊ณ , ์—ด์ •์ ์ด๊ณ ,
12:35
intense and beautiful as yours,
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์•„๋ฆ„๋‹ค์šด ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์œผ๋กœ ๋Œ€ํ•ด์ค€๋‹ค๋ฉด
12:38
then there's no need to build a bridge between you,
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๋‹ค๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค ํ•„์š”๊ฐ€ ์‚ฌ๋ผ์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:42
because you've closed the chasm.
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๊ทธ ์‚ฌ์ด์˜ ๊ฐ„๊ทน์„ ์—†์•ด์œผ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
12:45
Focus on that instead of your words,
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๋‹จ์–ด๋ณด๋‹ค ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์— ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
12:51
and it may be the most uplifting conversation of their life.
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์ธ์ƒ์—์„œ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ํฐ ํฌ๋ง์„ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋  ์ง€๋„ ๋ชฐ๋ผ์š”.
12:56
What could that do for somebody you care about?
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๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ ์†Œ์ค‘ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์–ด๋–ค ์˜ํ–ฅ์„ ๋ฏธ์น ๊นŒ์š”?
13:00
What could it do for you?
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ๋Š”์š”?
13:03
Thank you.
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๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:04
(Applause)
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(๋ฐ•์ˆ˜)
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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